Stupid Spouse Phrases

[Guest guest]

Just have to chime in here with those of you thinking about getting a job.

DON'T!! Find something FUN!! OUT of the HOUSE!! Okay, if you want a job,

get one that you leave at the job, that you don't do at home.

I work from home. Sure, it's handy, it's convenient, etc. Just ask Penny

though. I'm always bitching. I feel like if I'm home and on the computer

(like now) I should be doing a bit of work. It's ALWAYS there. I can't

just leave it at the office and forget about when I get home. I feel guilty

sending him to school with a runny nose so I can TRY to catch up.

I understand about needing to do something for you. Believe me I do.

Something that makes you feel valued. I have no idea what to suggest, but

UGH, working at home isn't it, at least not for me.

Just my .02.

ellen

Re: Stupid Spouse Phrases

I give the men credit for trying to be supportive. But what I think the

guys don't get, is that in order for the us - - as primary caretakers and

family architects - - to reinvent ourselves, we must also reinvent the

family. Men just don't seem to grasp that a woman is usually the center

of

gravity in any family - - anything that changes in her life affects every

aspect of the family function and dynamic. As such it is a much bigger

undertaking for a woman to redefine herself - - it's not just as simple as

finding a job - - it is creating a new vision for the family as a whole.

This is all very abstract ... I hope I'm still making sense ...

So keeping all this in mind, I would in no way feel like I was whining or

making excuses because I was uncertain or overwhelmed about figuring these

things out.

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 32, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 6 wks

----- Original Message -----

> Now I know neither one of us is being whiney or trying to justify why we

> CAN'T do something.

> This complaint is REAL!

>

> Could I go to school? Maybe. But when? During the day? and how?

> Money is always an issue, but still, even if it weren't, the specifics

of

> schedule planning would be horrendous.

>

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

> Doug Flutie is the football player whose son is

> autistic. His commercial just came on my TV.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yeah, only now they claim he's cured.

Tuna

=====

mom to:

, 8, ASD

, 4, NT

Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.

- Whoopi Goldberg

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

> Doug Flutie is the football player whose son is

> autistic. His commercial just came on my TV.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yeah, only now they claim he's cured.

Tuna

=====

mom to:

, 8, ASD

, 4, NT

Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.

- Whoopi Goldberg

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

> Doug Flutie is the football player whose son is

> autistic. His commercial just came on my TV.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yeah, only now they claim he's cured.

Tuna

=====

mom to:

, 8, ASD

, 4, NT

Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.

- Whoopi Goldberg

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

I don't think it's his son they claim is cured, I think it was Dan Marino's

son, but I could be wrong.

ellen

Re: Re: Stupid Spouse Phrases

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

> Doug Flutie is the football player whose son is

> autistic. His commercial just came on my TV.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yeah, only now they claim he's cured.

Tuna

=====

mom to:

, 8, ASD

, 4, NT

Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.

- Whoopi Goldberg

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

> Doug Flutie is the football player whose son is autistic. His

commercial just came on my TV. >

Thanks...my brain suddenly crashed on me; I kept thinking, " Dan

Marino? Nah... Don ? I think he's an actor... "

LOL...I knew you guys would know who I meant!

This is from the Flutie site:

WebED, Inc. teams up with the Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism,

offers free courses to parents of children with autism.

The Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism is affiliated with WebED,

Inc., one of the nation's leading Internet-based education companies.

Both organizations work together to provide a comprehensive series of

online autism courses for parents and teachers.

WebED will provide professional development credits to educators that

take the fee-based autism courses. These courses have been developed

by the finest academics and practicing professionals in the field of

autism.

Topics covered in the courses include, but are not limited to,

behavioral intervention, applied behavior analysis, sensory

integration, Internet resources for autism, language development and

social stories.

For each course fee received, WebED will make a donation to the Doug

Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism, Inc. In addition, the Company is

offering these courses free to parents of children with autism or

related developmental disabilities.

If you are the parent of a child with autism, and would like to take

part in this unique opportunity, please register at:

www.WebED.com/parents

[Guest guest]

> Doug Flutie is the football player whose son is autistic. His

commercial just came on my TV. >

Thanks...my brain suddenly crashed on me; I kept thinking, " Dan

Marino? Nah... Don ? I think he's an actor... "

LOL...I knew you guys would know who I meant!

This is from the Flutie site:

WebED, Inc. teams up with the Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism,

offers free courses to parents of children with autism.

The Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism is affiliated with WebED,

Inc., one of the nation's leading Internet-based education companies.

Both organizations work together to provide a comprehensive series of

online autism courses for parents and teachers.

WebED will provide professional development credits to educators that

take the fee-based autism courses. These courses have been developed

by the finest academics and practicing professionals in the field of

autism.

Topics covered in the courses include, but are not limited to,

behavioral intervention, applied behavior analysis, sensory

integration, Internet resources for autism, language development and

social stories.

For each course fee received, WebED will make a donation to the Doug

Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism, Inc. In addition, the Company is

offering these courses free to parents of children with autism or

related developmental disabilities.

If you are the parent of a child with autism, and would like to take

part in this unique opportunity, please register at:

www.WebED.com/parents

[Guest guest]

> I don't think it's his son they claim is cured, I think it was Dan Marino's

son, but I could be wrong.

ellen <

yeah, you're right. doug flutie's son is very much NOT cured

~~~ Imagine all the people, living life in peace - Lennon ~~~

-------------------------

gina, 31, ny

single mom to -

kailey, 8, autism, hyperlexia, depression, anxiety, OCD, DSI

trevor, 3, multiple developmental delays, no " official " dx yet

parker jade, due 7-25-03 :-D

[Guest guest]

> Actually, as I was writing that, the idea of a cellphone popped into mind,

Debbie! LOL. It had honestly not occured to me before. I'm pretty

anti-cellphone, so it never would have entered my mind. But this IS a good

idea. <

i used to be anti cellphone too, but when kailey started preschool and i was

going to college, i knew i needed something for emergencies. i got a pager,

because i couldn't afford a cellphone (remember, this was 6 years ago). it was

helpful, but not helpful enough. a few years later, i got a tracfone, which is

like a prepaid cellphone. that worked well, until it went for a swim in the

toilet. then my mom got me a cellphone under her credit and i have it with me

ALWAYS. i really don't know what i'd do without it.

i have both kid's schools phone numbers programmed into it so i can call them

from the road, if necessary. came in VERY handy when i got into my last accident

on the way to pick up kailey from school. i had to call the school and tell them

to send her on the bus as i wouldn't be making it with the car.

~~~ Imagine all the people, living life in peace - Lennon ~~~

-------------------------

gina, 31, ny

single mom to -

kailey, 8, autism, hyperlexia, depression, anxiety, OCD, DSI

trevor, 3, multiple developmental delays, no " official " dx yet

parker jade, due 7-25-03 :-D

[Guest guest]

> Actually, as I was writing that, the idea of a cellphone popped into mind,

Debbie! LOL. It had honestly not occured to me before. I'm pretty

anti-cellphone, so it never would have entered my mind. But this IS a good

idea. <

i used to be anti cellphone too, but when kailey started preschool and i was

going to college, i knew i needed something for emergencies. i got a pager,

because i couldn't afford a cellphone (remember, this was 6 years ago). it was

helpful, but not helpful enough. a few years later, i got a tracfone, which is

like a prepaid cellphone. that worked well, until it went for a swim in the

toilet. then my mom got me a cellphone under her credit and i have it with me

ALWAYS. i really don't know what i'd do without it.

i have both kid's schools phone numbers programmed into it so i can call them

from the road, if necessary. came in VERY handy when i got into my last accident

on the way to pick up kailey from school. i had to call the school and tell them

to send her on the bus as i wouldn't be making it with the car.

~~~ Imagine all the people, living life in peace - Lennon ~~~

-------------------------

gina, 31, ny

single mom to -

kailey, 8, autism, hyperlexia, depression, anxiety, OCD, DSI

trevor, 3, multiple developmental delays, no " official " dx yet

parker jade, due 7-25-03 :-D

[Guest guest]

> Actually, as I was writing that, the idea of a cellphone popped into mind,

Debbie! LOL. It had honestly not occured to me before. I'm pretty

anti-cellphone, so it never would have entered my mind. But this IS a good

idea. <

i used to be anti cellphone too, but when kailey started preschool and i was

going to college, i knew i needed something for emergencies. i got a pager,

because i couldn't afford a cellphone (remember, this was 6 years ago). it was

helpful, but not helpful enough. a few years later, i got a tracfone, which is

like a prepaid cellphone. that worked well, until it went for a swim in the

toilet. then my mom got me a cellphone under her credit and i have it with me

ALWAYS. i really don't know what i'd do without it.

i have both kid's schools phone numbers programmed into it so i can call them

from the road, if necessary. came in VERY handy when i got into my last accident

on the way to pick up kailey from school. i had to call the school and tell them

to send her on the bus as i wouldn't be making it with the car.

~~~ Imagine all the people, living life in peace - Lennon ~~~

-------------------------

gina, 31, ny

single mom to -

kailey, 8, autism, hyperlexia, depression, anxiety, OCD, DSI

trevor, 3, multiple developmental delays, no " official " dx yet

parker jade, due 7-25-03 :-D

[Guest guest]

If you're totally anti-celphone then I would suggest a pager.

But I love having my celphone. I don't use it that often (well except

at home for my long distance calls ... free minutes! We don't pay long

distance for me to talk to my family anymore). But I love having it

because I can run errands or take places while Jordan is at

school. Or if I go out, DH can reach me in an emergency. Same with a

sitter. In fact, my celphone number is the first contact number

Jordan's school has for me because I'm usually running errands for the 2

hours he's in school.

DH used to have a pager and that was great. I could always get ahold of

him and we had little codes so he knew how urgent it was to call me

back. A " 911 " after the number and he would call back immediately.

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.5yo

- (NT) 2.5yo

[Guest guest]

I carry a pager only when I'm away from the boys. They are the only reason

I have it!

Sue

[Guest guest]

That's Dan Marino who's son is " cured " . Doug Flutie's son is

actually somewhat low functioning.

Leigh

> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

> > Doug Flutie is the football player whose son is

> > autistic. His commercial just came on my TV.

> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>

> Yeah, only now they claim he's cured.

>

> Tuna

>

>

>

> =====

> mom to:

> , 8, ASD

> , 4, NT

>

> Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.

> - Whoopi Goldberg

>

>

______________________________________________________________________

> Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

No, you're right ellen.

Doug Flutie's little guy is still, well, little.

Penny :-D

RE: Re: Stupid Spouse Phrases

I don't think it's his son they claim is cured, I think it was Dan Marino's

son, but I could be wrong.

ellen

[Guest guest]

No, you're right ellen.

Doug Flutie's little guy is still, well, little.

Penny :-D

RE: Re: Stupid Spouse Phrases

I don't think it's his son they claim is cured, I think it was Dan Marino's

son, but I could be wrong.

ellen

[Guest guest]

No, you're right ellen.

Doug Flutie's little guy is still, well, little.

Penny :-D

RE: Re: Stupid Spouse Phrases

I don't think it's his son they claim is cured, I think it was Dan Marino's

son, but I could be wrong.

ellen

[Guest guest]

> Now I know neither one of us is being whiney or trying to justify why we

> CAN'T do something.

> This complaint is REAL!

Sure it is. There's even a book about it. Perhaps we've all heard of The

Feminine Mystique?

>

> Could I go to school? Maybe. But when? During the day? and how?

> Money is always an issue, but still, even if it weren't, the specifics of

> schedule planning would be horrendous.

No kidding. And for me, too, as the closest college campus is a 45 minute

drive away. :-(

>

> My house is a disaster now. Can you imagine what it would be like if I was

> NOT here more?

I harbour a fantasy that mine would look better. LOL.

>

> I, like my spouse, would like to be able to get up in the morning, focus

MY

> energy toward something that is meaningful to ME. As it stands, my life's

> focus is on Jacqui. Not that that's a bad thing, not at all, but it's the

> fact that he just doesn't get it.

Me too. As Marc said, after I was called on Friday and had to take out

of school and to the doctor and then contend all day with a sick and

pathetic autistic kid, THIS is why I'm still home. I AM needed, albeit on

an on-call basis.

Basically, the only job option open to me today is a counter person at a

very understanding Mc's.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> Now I know neither one of us is being whiney or trying to justify why we

> CAN'T do something.

> This complaint is REAL!

Sure it is. There's even a book about it. Perhaps we've all heard of The

Feminine Mystique?

>

> Could I go to school? Maybe. But when? During the day? and how?

> Money is always an issue, but still, even if it weren't, the specifics of

> schedule planning would be horrendous.

No kidding. And for me, too, as the closest college campus is a 45 minute

drive away. :-(

>

> My house is a disaster now. Can you imagine what it would be like if I was

> NOT here more?

I harbour a fantasy that mine would look better. LOL.

>

> I, like my spouse, would like to be able to get up in the morning, focus

MY

> energy toward something that is meaningful to ME. As it stands, my life's

> focus is on Jacqui. Not that that's a bad thing, not at all, but it's the

> fact that he just doesn't get it.

Me too. As Marc said, after I was called on Friday and had to take out

of school and to the doctor and then contend all day with a sick and

pathetic autistic kid, THIS is why I'm still home. I AM needed, albeit on

an on-call basis.

Basically, the only job option open to me today is a counter person at a

very understanding Mc's.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> Now I know neither one of us is being whiney or trying to justify why we

> CAN'T do something.

> This complaint is REAL!

Sure it is. There's even a book about it. Perhaps we've all heard of The

Feminine Mystique?

>

> Could I go to school? Maybe. But when? During the day? and how?

> Money is always an issue, but still, even if it weren't, the specifics of

> schedule planning would be horrendous.

No kidding. And for me, too, as the closest college campus is a 45 minute

drive away. :-(

>

> My house is a disaster now. Can you imagine what it would be like if I was

> NOT here more?

I harbour a fantasy that mine would look better. LOL.

>

> I, like my spouse, would like to be able to get up in the morning, focus

MY

> energy toward something that is meaningful to ME. As it stands, my life's

> focus is on Jacqui. Not that that's a bad thing, not at all, but it's the

> fact that he just doesn't get it.

Me too. As Marc said, after I was called on Friday and had to take out

of school and to the doctor and then contend all day with a sick and

pathetic autistic kid, THIS is why I'm still home. I AM needed, albeit on

an on-call basis.

Basically, the only job option open to me today is a counter person at a

very understanding Mc's.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>a woman is usually the center of

> gravity in any family - - anything that changes in her life affects every

> aspect of the family function and dynamic.

My mom tells a story of going to see her doctor when the family was much

younger and both my borther and I were living at home (so he was 17 or

younger and I was 7 or younger) and she was very dpressed. The dr told her

that they needed to treat it because she was the centre of the family and

the happinessof the rest of us depended on her. She says she felt so

cheated and trapped by that - like the world rested on her shoulders. Now

I understand.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> But, I'll go back to the " set the tone " statement. We set the tone for

> the entire home ... if Mommy isn't happy, Nobody is happy. So it is

> very important for us to find something that renews our spirit, uplifts

> us, gives us pleasure and relaxation.

My hobby and my volunteering took care of that for a LONG time. But those

were cherished breaks and renewal moments out of a busy schedule of

childcare. Now that is in school full time, just doing the housework

and working at my hobby is not enough. still needs me to available, so

I can't leave the house for long periods in case the school calls. I can't

go volunteer at the school, because that would disrupt 's day and he

would be forever trying to find me in the building rather than doing what he

needs to do.

For 6 years, my whole life was taking care of . It was learning about

autism, working on goals, always having a forward momentum driven by the

need to help be the best he could be. Breaks for painting were

rejuvenating and life-restoring.

Now, he is almost 7. He's in school full time, and getting As and Bs. His

ATEC has dropped over 85 points since he was 3 years old. He has a

playmate. He can hold conversations. When he's home at night and on

weekends, the focus is not on therapy but on just filling up the time with

things to do, or having Ben over and me doing - what? Nothing. Making

dinner.

The full-time job I had for 6 years is now part time, full time in the

summer.

The thing is, I LIKED my full-time job. I LIKED working so hard with him

and the feeling of pride and accomplishment that almost each day carried

with it.

Compared to the past 6 years, my day-to-day present is BORING and EMPTY.

I MISS him.

Does that expain my dilemma better?

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> If you want something besides autism, there are TONS of free courses

> online...I have sites bookmarked that I can send you if you are

> interested. I also have the autism site bookmarked (if I go there

> mid note I'll lose everything I've written.

Sure, thanks, Raena! I have and Noble University bookmarked, but

that's the only one I've found. They have a really interesting-looking free

course called 'The Bible as Literature' that I'd love to take, but of course

you have to buy the books...

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> You mentioned not being able to leave the house in case the school

> calls. Have you thought of getting a pager or celphone? Pagers are

> pretty inexpensive and it would be a way to not be tied to the phone at

> home.

Actually, as I was writing that, the idea of a cellphone popped into mind,

Debbie! LOL. It had honestly not occured to me before. I'm pretty

anti-cellphone, so it never would have entered my mind. But this IS a good

idea.

Thanks!

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> I don't have any recommendations for what to do--I can only offer sympathy

and the personal experience that it does get better. If all else fails,

there's always Days of Our Lives.

>

Welcome, Sophie!

And here's an ungly confession -- I am a Passions fan. Now how pathetic is

THAT?

Jacquie