RE: Kindergarten next fall-thinking ahead

[Guest guest]

Hi Cheryl!!!!

The kids are off of school this week - so I get to answer e-mails during the

day while I'm on vacation with them. Whoo hoo!

We had a similar dilemma with Ethan - and the funny thing is that I wasn't

given a choice with . Ironically, is the one who possibly could

have benefited from being held back for his initial start (it all worked out

in the end, though), and we had to push to get Ethan to enroll when he did.

For what it's worth, the cut off for age in Nebraska is October 15th - so if

you lived here, you wouldn't have to worry about this yet. :-)

Seriously, though, I think you have to go with what your Mommy-instincts

tell you. Kindergarten is so much more academic than it was when we were

kids, and once the kids are in kindergarten, the schools usually don't want

to hold them back. You might want to see if you can observe the

kindergarten class at her school for a morning/afternoon to get a sense of

what's going on - that may help you.

As far as FMs and such - I would contact your school district now to at

least get the wheels in motion for them to support you. If you decide to

wait a year, that means you've gotten your work done early, and it's one

less thing to worry about later down the road. still loves his

EduLink FM system, and he's been using it quite a bit lately while we've

been trying to get his danged ear blister to heal up (the dry air on the

airplane home from CT didn't help - now he's off the TransEar for at least

two more days).

It's never an easy decision - and there's really no completely wrong/right

answer, either. Just make the best decision that you can - it's all any of

us can do!

Hugs to you,

Kris

Mom to (8, Complete/Profound SNL, Left Ear) and Ethan (7, hearing)

_____

From: Listen-Up [mailto:Listen-Up ] On Behalf

Of chmorg

Sent: Monday, October 16, 2006 2:56 PM

To: Listen-Up

Subject: Kindergarten next fall-thinking ahead

Hello,

We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next

year, or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one,

and while we have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm

trying to type out my thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any

sense. Apologies in advance.

Clara has a profound unilateral loss in her left ear. Normal/near

normal in the right. Her right ear tests at 20db straight across,

which 2 audis so far have told me is fine. But I am going to get

another opinion, because from what I have read, for a child, that is

on the borderline of a mild loss. Right now, she is not aided. Our

audis have discouraged getting a CROS aid, and we were told that she

cannot have a Transear (a new type of aid for unilateral loss) until

the tubes fall out of her ears. I am going to look into getting a

CROS aid, or an FM for Kindergarten.

Right now, she goes to a typical preschool. They of course know about

her loss. Her teachers say she is doing well. And she has improved

from last year. But in many ways she seems behind the other kids.

Clara's birthday is Nov. 5. So if we put her in Kindergarten next

year, she will be one of the youngest kids. In Connecticut, the

cutoff age is Dec. 31. So technically she is supposed to attend next

year. There are a few people I know with typical children who also

have late birthdays who are considering holding their children back as

well, mainly because they don't want their child to be one of the

youngest. If I didn't have other worries though, I don't think I

would hold her back just because of that.

Clara knows a lot of stuff that they probably cover in Kindergarten.

She knows her letters, and numbers. She knows her colors and shapes.

Her language is good. She has a good vocabulary.

My concerns with Clara is that she is socially immature. She needs

encouragement to interact with her peers. She almost never will

initiate an interaction, or suggest an activity. She just follows

along with whatever the other child says. She doesn't assert herself.

When another child does something she doesn't like, say try to tickle

her, she won't tell him/her to stop. She just starts to cry. I worry

that kids are just going to run all over her unless she learns to

stand up for herself. We try to role play all these things at home,

but so far it hasn't generalized to the school settings. I probably

don't do the role-plays as often as I should. I find I tend to make

it too " instructional. " I really have to think about ways to make it

fun for her to do so she will cooperate.

Her motor skills are also behind her peers. She runs, but not as fast

as the other kids. She climbs stairs, but slowly, and going down she

doesn't alternate feet. She has trouble tracing letters. She likes

to scribble, doesn't rarely tries to draw anything. I'm not expecting

her to make anything too recognizable, but I think at this age most

kids will try to draw a person or a house or a dog, etc. If I

encourage her, she sometimes tries to draw a face. She has just

learned to make X's.

Her social and motor issues are the main things that make me want to

hold off on Kindergarten. But I have also heard that many times, the

kids often don't catch up, so it doesn't do much good to hold them

back for a year.

So do I send her off to Kindergarten next year, or do we wait?

Thanks for reading this. There's probably more I've forgotten to add.

But, I need to go. So I'm going to send this off now, and hopefully

it makes sense.

Cheryl

[Guest guest]

I have a few thoughts-

My daughter also has a Nov birthday (16th)- our cut off for

kindy was Sept 30th so there was no going to kindy at 4yro and then

turning 5. With that said she’s now one of the oldest in her class (1st

grade this year). Constance was 5 almost 6 going in to kindy, one of her

really good friends turned 5 the week school started- I can tell a HUGE

maturity difference in the 2 of them. Not to brag on my daughter but I

do see a big difference in motor skills and social maturity, some of it

too could be different families too but I’m sure age is a big part.

Constance has 2 younger siblings and her friend has one younger brother-

both her parents work and I stay home so I mean there’s different things

going on but I think a lot of it was bottom line AGE.

Constance is not my mild HL child, but she did have to be able to write

her name before going to kindy (they accepted backwards s’s and y’s).

Breanna on the other hand my mild HL child- is 3 ½ and a bit behind in

motor skills- she draws a circle and keeps going around and round and

round doesn’t just stop at A circle and also does not decent stairs

alternating feet, but she knows ALL of her colors and can count to 10.

So she just excels in other areas.

I know this doesn’t give you clear cut answers but just some

thoughts to add to your concerns.

-Robin

Memphis Mommy

Kindergarten next fall-thinking ahead

Hello,

We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next

year, or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one,

and while we have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm

trying to type out my thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any

sense. Apologies in advance.

Clara has a profound unilateral loss in her left ear. Normal/near

normal in the right. Her right ear tests at 20db straight across,

which 2 audis so far have told me is fine. But I am going to get

another opinion, because from what I have read, for a child, that is

on the borderline of a mild loss. Right now, she is not aided. Our

audis have discouraged getting a CROS aid, and we were told that she

cannot have a Transear (a new type of aid for unilateral loss) until

the tubes fall out of her ears. I am going to look into getting a

CROS aid, or an FM for Kindergarten.

Right now, she goes to a typical preschool. They of course know about

her loss. Her teachers say she is doing well. And she has improved

from last year. But in many ways she seems behind the other kids.

Clara's birthday is Nov. 5. So if we put her in Kindergarten next

year, she will be one of the youngest kids. In Connecticut, the

cutoff age is Dec. 31. So technically she is supposed to attend next

year. There are a few people I know with typical children who also

have late birthdays who are considering holding their children back as

well, mainly because they don't want their child to be one of the

youngest. If I didn't have other worries though, I don't think I

would hold her back just because of that.

Clara knows a lot of stuff that they probably cover in Kindergarten.

She knows her letters, and numbers. She knows her colors and shapes.

Her language is good. She has a good vocabulary.

My concerns with Clara is that she is socially immature. She needs

encouragement to interact with her peers. She almost never will

initiate an interaction, or suggest an activity. She just follows

along with whatever the other child says. She doesn't assert herself.

When another child does something she doesn't like, say try to tickle

her, she won't tell him/her to stop. She just starts to cry. I worry

that kids are just going to run all over her unless she learns to

stand up for herself. We try to role play all these things at home,

but so far it hasn't generalized to the school settings. I probably

don't do the role-plays as often as I should. I find I tend to make

it too " instructional. " I really have to think about ways to make it

fun for her to do so she will cooperate.

Her motor skills are also behind her peers. She runs, but not as fast

as the other kids. She climbs stairs, but slowly, and going down she

doesn't alternate feet. She has trouble tracing letters. She likes

to scribble, doesn't rarely tries to draw anything. I'm not expecting

her to make anything too recognizable, but I think at this age most

kids will try to draw a person or a house or a dog, etc. If I

encourage her, she sometimes tries to draw a face. She has just

learned to make X's.

Her social and motor issues are the main things that make me want to

hold off on Kindergarten. But I have also heard that many times, the

kids often don't catch up, so it doesn't do much good to hold them

back for a year.

So do I send her off to Kindergarten next year, or do we wait?

Thanks for reading this. There's probably more I've forgotten to add.

But, I need to go. So I'm going to send this off now, and hopefully

it makes sense.

Cheryl

[Guest guest]

Cheryl,

I have a lot to say about this because I am on the other side of this situation

and it is not a pretty picture.

Bobby has a lot of medical issues and spent a long time in ICU fighting to stay

alive. So in that regard our kids are a little different. Bobby's hearing loss

was only identified last Oct (1 yr ago) and we think his hearing loss started

with ototoxic meds given to him in ICU when he was 3 month sold. My guess is

that it was a mild loss because he picked up the language well enough that no

one contributed his speech delays to a hearing loss. But they were always quick

to point out his " lousy attention span. " Then in May '05 he had his 4th open

heart surgery with more ototoxic meds and that is when I think his hearing

really took a downward turn. But still we didn't catch it at first.

So...now he in in kindergarten. He turned 6 in July, so he is a full year ahead

of Clara. And guess what. I wish I had never sent him. So much so that we are

having his PPT in two days and I am pulling him out and putting him back in

preschool again, this time at Soundbridge (in Wethersfield) where he can be with

typical peers and get the language base he so lacks now.

My thought is what's the rush? Clara wouldn't even be behind for her age! If I

put Bobby ahead into kindergarten this year, then 1st grade, once they start

getting him ahead into higher grades, they don't like to stop going along.

They'd rather keep supporting these kids with special services (which makes no

sense) than to hold them back a year and let them grow up. And they don't like

to admit they might have made a mistake putting them ahead. So my point is that

you can't count on the district to put on the brakes for Clara, you have to do

it for her. And believe me, it stinks to have to make these kinds of decisions.

If you keep her behind and she really didn't need it, the only disadvantage is

that she's the oldest one in her class. Not a big deal, all my kids are the

oldest in their class and it has only worked in their favor. But if you make a

mistake and put her ahead, there could be all kinds of resulting problems,

especially for a hearing impaired kid, who, if they can't keep up with the

conversations of their friends, will be dropped from the groups socially by

about 2 or 3rd grade. Bobby is very social. It is his strength. But if I put

him ahead with his peers now, by 3rd grade he'll have no friends and I will have

taken away his one asset. See? I am thinking down the line and investing now.

Clara isn't even that old. Gosh, they're all babies, really. Kindergarten in

CT is not kindergarten as we knew it...there's no play, there's no painting and

blocks and coloring...it's all structured with a purpose. They are reading

(which Bobby can already do anyway). It's learning circumference, and area and

approximation and graphing. I am not kidding. There's barely enough individual

time to see how the kids are doing. They expect them to keep up and to

understand all the basics of what other kids go into kindergarten knowing, but a

lot of times hearing impaired kids (no matter how mild the loss is) don't have

that, and they have to work hard to understand. If you put that together with

the quick pace and her having to work to keep up socially, it is a lot to ask of

a 5 year old. Better to just wait...really, they grow up so darn fast, there's

really no hurry. And my kids are just fine being the oldest in their class...it

was a smart move all around for us.

Sorry if I am being so blunt, but I am working this through myself and I feel so

bad that I have to take him out now once he has already established himself in a

class. But I feel I am investing in his future.

Do you understand what I am trying to say? I am usually a lot more tactful than

this.

Trish

Visit Trish and Bobby's Marathon website at

http://www.firstgiving.com/bobbymarathon

Kindergarten next fall-thinking ahead

Hello,

We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next

year, or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one,

and while we have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm

trying to type out my thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any

sense. Apologies in advance.

Clara has a profound unilateral loss in her left ear. Normal/near

normal in the right. Her right ear tests at 20db straight across,

which 2 audis so far have told me is fine. But I am going to get

another opinion, because from what I have read, for a child, that is

on the borderline of a mild loss. Right now, she is not aided. Our

audis have discouraged getting a CROS aid, and we were told that she

cannot have a Transear (a new type of aid for unilateral loss) until

the tubes fall out of her ears. I am going to look into getting a

CROS aid, or an FM for Kindergarten.

Right now, she goes to a typical preschool. They of course know about

her loss. Her teachers say she is doing well. And she has improved

from last year. But in many ways she seems behind the other kids.

Clara's birthday is Nov. 5. So if we put her in Kindergarten next

year, she will be one of the youngest kids. In Connecticut, the

cutoff age is Dec. 31. So technically she is supposed to attend next

year. There are a few people I know with typical children who also

have late birthdays who are considering holding their children back as

well, mainly because they don't want their child to be one of the

youngest. If I didn't have other worries though, I don't think I

would hold her back just because of that.

Clara knows a lot of stuff that they probably cover in Kindergarten.

She knows her letters, and numbers. She knows her colors and shapes.

Her language is good. She has a good vocabulary.

My concerns with Clara is that she is socially immature. She needs

encouragement to interact with her peers. She almost never will

initiate an interaction, or suggest an activity. She just follows

along with whatever the other child says. She doesn't assert herself.

When another child does something she doesn't like, say try to tickle

her, she won't tell him/her to stop. She just starts to cry. I worry

that kids are just going to run all over her unless she learns to

stand up for herself. We try to role play all these things at home,

but so far it hasn't generalized to the school settings. I probably

don't do the role-plays as often as I should. I find I tend to make

it too " instructional. " I really have to think about ways to make it

fun for her to do so she will cooperate.

Her motor skills are also behind her peers. She runs, but not as fast

as the other kids. She climbs stairs, but slowly, and going down she

doesn't alternate feet. She has trouble tracing letters. She likes

to scribble, doesn't rarely tries to draw anything. I'm not expecting

her to make anything too recognizable, but I think at this age most

kids will try to draw a person or a house or a dog, etc. If I

encourage her, she sometimes tries to draw a face. She has just

learned to make X's.

Her social and motor issues are the main things that make me want to

hold off on Kindergarten. But I have also heard that many times, the

kids often don't catch up, so it doesn't do much good to hold them

back for a year.

So do I send her off to Kindergarten next year, or do we wait?

Thanks for reading this. There's probably more I've forgotten to add.

But, I need to go. So I'm going to send this off now, and hopefully

it makes sense.

Cheryl

[Guest guest]

Cheryl,

I have a lot to say about this because I am on the other side of this situation

and it is not a pretty picture.

Bobby has a lot of medical issues and spent a long time in ICU fighting to stay

alive. So in that regard our kids are a little different. Bobby's hearing loss

was only identified last Oct (1 yr ago) and we think his hearing loss started

with ototoxic meds given to him in ICU when he was 3 month sold. My guess is

that it was a mild loss because he picked up the language well enough that no

one contributed his speech delays to a hearing loss. But they were always quick

to point out his " lousy attention span. " Then in May '05 he had his 4th open

heart surgery with more ototoxic meds and that is when I think his hearing

really took a downward turn. But still we didn't catch it at first.

So...now he in in kindergarten. He turned 6 in July, so he is a full year ahead

of Clara. And guess what. I wish I had never sent him. So much so that we are

having his PPT in two days and I am pulling him out and putting him back in

preschool again, this time at Soundbridge (in Wethersfield) where he can be with

typical peers and get the language base he so lacks now.

My thought is what's the rush? Clara wouldn't even be behind for her age! If I

put Bobby ahead into kindergarten this year, then 1st grade, once they start

getting him ahead into higher grades, they don't like to stop going along.

They'd rather keep supporting these kids with special services (which makes no

sense) than to hold them back a year and let them grow up. And they don't like

to admit they might have made a mistake putting them ahead. So my point is that

you can't count on the district to put on the brakes for Clara, you have to do

it for her. And believe me, it stinks to have to make these kinds of decisions.

If you keep her behind and she really didn't need it, the only disadvantage is

that she's the oldest one in her class. Not a big deal, all my kids are the

oldest in their class and it has only worked in their favor. But if you make a

mistake and put her ahead, there could be all kinds of resulting problems,

especially for a hearing impaired kid, who, if they can't keep up with the

conversations of their friends, will be dropped from the groups socially by

about 2 or 3rd grade. Bobby is very social. It is his strength. But if I put

him ahead with his peers now, by 3rd grade he'll have no friends and I will have

taken away his one asset. See? I am thinking down the line and investing now.

Clara isn't even that old. Gosh, they're all babies, really. Kindergarten in

CT is not kindergarten as we knew it...there's no play, there's no painting and

blocks and coloring...it's all structured with a purpose. They are reading

(which Bobby can already do anyway). It's learning circumference, and area and

approximation and graphing. I am not kidding. There's barely enough individual

time to see how the kids are doing. They expect them to keep up and to

understand all the basics of what other kids go into kindergarten knowing, but a

lot of times hearing impaired kids (no matter how mild the loss is) don't have

that, and they have to work hard to understand. If you put that together with

the quick pace and her having to work to keep up socially, it is a lot to ask of

a 5 year old. Better to just wait...really, they grow up so darn fast, there's

really no hurry. And my kids are just fine being the oldest in their class...it

was a smart move all around for us.

Sorry if I am being so blunt, but I am working this through myself and I feel so

bad that I have to take him out now once he has already established himself in a

class. But I feel I am investing in his future.

Do you understand what I am trying to say? I am usually a lot more tactful than

this.

Trish

Visit Trish and Bobby's Marathon website at

http://www.firstgiving.com/bobbymarathon

Kindergarten next fall-thinking ahead

Hello,

We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next

year, or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one,

and while we have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm

trying to type out my thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any

sense. Apologies in advance.

Clara has a profound unilateral loss in her left ear. Normal/near

normal in the right. Her right ear tests at 20db straight across,

which 2 audis so far have told me is fine. But I am going to get

another opinion, because from what I have read, for a child, that is

on the borderline of a mild loss. Right now, she is not aided. Our

audis have discouraged getting a CROS aid, and we were told that she

cannot have a Transear (a new type of aid for unilateral loss) until

the tubes fall out of her ears. I am going to look into getting a

CROS aid, or an FM for Kindergarten.

Right now, she goes to a typical preschool. They of course know about

her loss. Her teachers say she is doing well. And she has improved

from last year. But in many ways she seems behind the other kids.

Clara's birthday is Nov. 5. So if we put her in Kindergarten next

year, she will be one of the youngest kids. In Connecticut, the

cutoff age is Dec. 31. So technically she is supposed to attend next

year. There are a few people I know with typical children who also

have late birthdays who are considering holding their children back as

well, mainly because they don't want their child to be one of the

youngest. If I didn't have other worries though, I don't think I

would hold her back just because of that.

Clara knows a lot of stuff that they probably cover in Kindergarten.

She knows her letters, and numbers. She knows her colors and shapes.

Her language is good. She has a good vocabulary.

My concerns with Clara is that she is socially immature. She needs

encouragement to interact with her peers. She almost never will

initiate an interaction, or suggest an activity. She just follows

along with whatever the other child says. She doesn't assert herself.

When another child does something she doesn't like, say try to tickle

her, she won't tell him/her to stop. She just starts to cry. I worry

that kids are just going to run all over her unless she learns to

stand up for herself. We try to role play all these things at home,

but so far it hasn't generalized to the school settings. I probably

don't do the role-plays as often as I should. I find I tend to make

it too " instructional. " I really have to think about ways to make it

fun for her to do so she will cooperate.

Her motor skills are also behind her peers. She runs, but not as fast

as the other kids. She climbs stairs, but slowly, and going down she

doesn't alternate feet. She has trouble tracing letters. She likes

to scribble, doesn't rarely tries to draw anything. I'm not expecting

her to make anything too recognizable, but I think at this age most

kids will try to draw a person or a house or a dog, etc. If I

encourage her, she sometimes tries to draw a face. She has just

learned to make X's.

Her social and motor issues are the main things that make me want to

hold off on Kindergarten. But I have also heard that many times, the

kids often don't catch up, so it doesn't do much good to hold them

back for a year.

So do I send her off to Kindergarten next year, or do we wait?

Thanks for reading this. There's probably more I've forgotten to add.

But, I need to go. So I'm going to send this off now, and hopefully

it makes sense.

Cheryl

[Guest guest]

Hi Cheryl

In the UK, the Reception year (which I think is the equivalent of your

Kindergarten) and Year 1 are still pretty much fun & play, maybe a bit

tougher in prep schools. Personally, I wouldn’t worry about the social

and motor side of things. The teachers will be used to having very young

or shy children in their class and will, hopefully, know how to manage

others’ behaviour if it borders on bullying.

Good luck with your decision.

Cristina

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[Guest guest]

Hi Cheryl

In the UK, the Reception year (which I think is the equivalent of your

Kindergarten) and Year 1 are still pretty much fun & play, maybe a bit

tougher in prep schools. Personally, I wouldn’t worry about the social

and motor side of things. The teachers will be used to having very young

or shy children in their class and will, hopefully, know how to manage

others’ behaviour if it borders on bullying.

Good luck with your decision.

Cristina

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Version: 7.1.408 / Virus Database: 268.13.4/476 - Release Date:

14/10/2006

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14/10/2006

[Guest guest]

Hi Cheryl

In the UK, the Reception year (which I think is the equivalent of your

Kindergarten) and Year 1 are still pretty much fun & play, maybe a bit

tougher in prep schools. Personally, I wouldn’t worry about the social

and motor side of things. The teachers will be used to having very young

or shy children in their class and will, hopefully, know how to manage

others’ behaviour if it borders on bullying.

Good luck with your decision.

Cristina

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Checked by AVG Free Edition.

Version: 7.1.408 / Virus Database: 268.13.4/476 - Release Date:

14/10/2006

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14/10/2006

[Guest guest]

We held our older son back and it's one of the best things we ever did.

Every kid is different of course but for Tom, what made our decision was

a few things. First, he was diagnosed with his hearing loss late;

secondly, he was young and also a boys - the boys in both sides of our

family have tended to be late bloomers. Tom's also on the small side so

he doesn't look like he shouldn't be with the group of kids he's now

with. He's now in 8th grade as opposed to 9th - I can't imagine if he

was in high school right now!

Barbara

bswatson wrote:

> I have a few thoughts-

> My daughter also has a Nov birthday (16th)- our cut off for

> kindy was Sept 30th so there was no going to kindy at 4yro and then

> turning 5. With that said she’s now one of the oldest in her class (1st

> grade this year). Constance was 5 almost 6 going in to kindy, one of her

> really good friends turned 5 the week school started- I can tell a HUGE

> maturity difference in the 2 of them. Not to brag on my daughter but I

> do see a big difference in motor skills and social maturity, some of it

> too could be different families too but I’m sure age is a big part.

> Constance has 2 younger siblings and her friend has one younger brother-

> both her parents work and I stay home so I mean there’s different things

> going on but I think a lot of it was bottom line AGE.

> Constance is not my mild HL child, but she did have to be able to write

> her name before going to kindy (they accepted backwards s’s and y’s).

> Breanna on the other hand my mild HL child- is 3 ½ and a bit behind in

> motor skills- she draws a circle and keeps going around and round and

> round doesn’t just stop at A circle and also does not decent stairs

> alternating feet, but she knows ALL of her colors and can count to 10.

> So she just excels in other areas.

> I know this doesn’t give you clear cut answers but just some

> thoughts to add to your concerns.

>

> -Robin

> Memphis Mommy

>

> Kindergarten next fall-thinking ahead

>

> Hello,

>

> We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next

> year, or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one,

> and while we have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm

> trying to type out my thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

> I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any

> sense. Apologies in advance.

>

> Clara has a profound unilateral loss in her left ear. Normal/near

> normal in the right. Her right ear tests at 20db straight across,

> which 2 audis so far have told me is fine. But I am going to get

> another opinion, because from what I have read, for a child, that is

> on the borderline of a mild loss. Right now, she is not aided. Our

> audis have discouraged getting a CROS aid, and we were told that she

> cannot have a Transear (a new type of aid for unilateral loss) until

> the tubes fall out of her ears. I am going to look into getting a

> CROS aid, or an FM for Kindergarten.

>

> Right now, she goes to a typical preschool. They of course know about

> her loss. Her teachers say she is doing well. And she has improved

> from last year. But in many ways she seems behind the other kids.

>

> Clara's birthday is Nov. 5. So if we put her in Kindergarten next

> year, she will be one of the youngest kids. In Connecticut, the

> cutoff age is Dec. 31. So technically she is supposed to attend next

> year. There are a few people I know with typical children who also

> have late birthdays who are considering holding their children back as

> well, mainly because they don't want their child to be one of the

> youngest. If I didn't have other worries though, I don't think I

> would hold her back just because of that.

>

> Clara knows a lot of stuff that they probably cover in Kindergarten.

> She knows her letters, and numbers. She knows her colors and shapes.

> Her language is good. She has a good vocabulary.

>

> My concerns with Clara is that she is socially immature. She needs

> encouragement to interact with her peers. She almost never will

> initiate an interaction, or suggest an activity. She just follows

> along with whatever the other child says. She doesn't assert herself.

> When another child does something she doesn't like, say try to tickle

> her, she won't tell him/her to stop. She just starts to cry. I worry

> that kids are just going to run all over her unless she learns to

> stand up for herself. We try to role play all these things at home,

> but so far it hasn't generalized to the school settings. I probably

> don't do the role-plays as often as I should. I find I tend to make

> it too " instructional. " I really have to think about ways to make it

> fun for her to do so she will cooperate.

>

> Her motor skills are also behind her peers. She runs, but not as fast

> as the other kids. She climbs stairs, but slowly, and going down she

> doesn't alternate feet. She has trouble tracing letters. She likes

> to scribble, doesn't rarely tries to draw anything. I'm not expecting

> her to make anything too recognizable, but I think at this age most

> kids will try to draw a person or a house or a dog, etc. If I

> encourage her, she sometimes tries to draw a face. She has just

> learned to make X's.

>

> Her social and motor issues are the main things that make me want to

> hold off on Kindergarten. But I have also heard that many times, the

> kids often don't catch up, so it doesn't do much good to hold them

> back for a year.

>

> So do I send her off to Kindergarten next year, or do we wait?

>

> Thanks for reading this. There's probably more I've forgotten to add.

> But, I need to go. So I'm going to send this off now, and hopefully

> it makes sense.

>

> Cheryl

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

We held our older son back and it's one of the best things we ever did.

Every kid is different of course but for Tom, what made our decision was

a few things. First, he was diagnosed with his hearing loss late;

secondly, he was young and also a boys - the boys in both sides of our

family have tended to be late bloomers. Tom's also on the small side so

he doesn't look like he shouldn't be with the group of kids he's now

with. He's now in 8th grade as opposed to 9th - I can't imagine if he

was in high school right now!

Barbara

bswatson wrote:

> I have a few thoughts-

> My daughter also has a Nov birthday (16th)- our cut off for

> kindy was Sept 30th so there was no going to kindy at 4yro and then

> turning 5. With that said she’s now one of the oldest in her class (1st

> grade this year). Constance was 5 almost 6 going in to kindy, one of her

> really good friends turned 5 the week school started- I can tell a HUGE

> maturity difference in the 2 of them. Not to brag on my daughter but I

> do see a big difference in motor skills and social maturity, some of it

> too could be different families too but I’m sure age is a big part.

> Constance has 2 younger siblings and her friend has one younger brother-

> both her parents work and I stay home so I mean there’s different things

> going on but I think a lot of it was bottom line AGE.

> Constance is not my mild HL child, but she did have to be able to write

> her name before going to kindy (they accepted backwards s’s and y’s).

> Breanna on the other hand my mild HL child- is 3 ½ and a bit behind in

> motor skills- she draws a circle and keeps going around and round and

> round doesn’t just stop at A circle and also does not decent stairs

> alternating feet, but she knows ALL of her colors and can count to 10.

> So she just excels in other areas.

> I know this doesn’t give you clear cut answers but just some

> thoughts to add to your concerns.

>

> -Robin

> Memphis Mommy

>

> Kindergarten next fall-thinking ahead

>

> Hello,

>

> We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next

> year, or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one,

> and while we have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm

> trying to type out my thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

> I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any

> sense. Apologies in advance.

>

> Clara has a profound unilateral loss in her left ear. Normal/near

> normal in the right. Her right ear tests at 20db straight across,

> which 2 audis so far have told me is fine. But I am going to get

> another opinion, because from what I have read, for a child, that is

> on the borderline of a mild loss. Right now, she is not aided. Our

> audis have discouraged getting a CROS aid, and we were told that she

> cannot have a Transear (a new type of aid for unilateral loss) until

> the tubes fall out of her ears. I am going to look into getting a

> CROS aid, or an FM for Kindergarten.

>

> Right now, she goes to a typical preschool. They of course know about

> her loss. Her teachers say she is doing well. And she has improved

> from last year. But in many ways she seems behind the other kids.

>

> Clara's birthday is Nov. 5. So if we put her in Kindergarten next

> year, she will be one of the youngest kids. In Connecticut, the

> cutoff age is Dec. 31. So technically she is supposed to attend next

> year. There are a few people I know with typical children who also

> have late birthdays who are considering holding their children back as

> well, mainly because they don't want their child to be one of the

> youngest. If I didn't have other worries though, I don't think I

> would hold her back just because of that.

>

> Clara knows a lot of stuff that they probably cover in Kindergarten.

> She knows her letters, and numbers. She knows her colors and shapes.

> Her language is good. She has a good vocabulary.

>

> My concerns with Clara is that she is socially immature. She needs

> encouragement to interact with her peers. She almost never will

> initiate an interaction, or suggest an activity. She just follows

> along with whatever the other child says. She doesn't assert herself.

> When another child does something she doesn't like, say try to tickle

> her, she won't tell him/her to stop. She just starts to cry. I worry

> that kids are just going to run all over her unless she learns to

> stand up for herself. We try to role play all these things at home,

> but so far it hasn't generalized to the school settings. I probably

> don't do the role-plays as often as I should. I find I tend to make

> it too " instructional. " I really have to think about ways to make it

> fun for her to do so she will cooperate.

>

> Her motor skills are also behind her peers. She runs, but not as fast

> as the other kids. She climbs stairs, but slowly, and going down she

> doesn't alternate feet. She has trouble tracing letters. She likes

> to scribble, doesn't rarely tries to draw anything. I'm not expecting

> her to make anything too recognizable, but I think at this age most

> kids will try to draw a person or a house or a dog, etc. If I

> encourage her, she sometimes tries to draw a face. She has just

> learned to make X's.

>

> Her social and motor issues are the main things that make me want to

> hold off on Kindergarten. But I have also heard that many times, the

> kids often don't catch up, so it doesn't do much good to hold them

> back for a year.

>

> So do I send her off to Kindergarten next year, or do we wait?

>

> Thanks for reading this. There's probably more I've forgotten to add.

> But, I need to go. So I'm going to send this off now, and hopefully

> it makes sense.

>

> Cheryl

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

We held our older son back and it's one of the best things we ever did.

Every kid is different of course but for Tom, what made our decision was

a few things. First, he was diagnosed with his hearing loss late;

secondly, he was young and also a boys - the boys in both sides of our

family have tended to be late bloomers. Tom's also on the small side so

he doesn't look like he shouldn't be with the group of kids he's now

with. He's now in 8th grade as opposed to 9th - I can't imagine if he

was in high school right now!

Barbara

bswatson wrote:

> I have a few thoughts-

> My daughter also has a Nov birthday (16th)- our cut off for

> kindy was Sept 30th so there was no going to kindy at 4yro and then

> turning 5. With that said she’s now one of the oldest in her class (1st

> grade this year). Constance was 5 almost 6 going in to kindy, one of her

> really good friends turned 5 the week school started- I can tell a HUGE

> maturity difference in the 2 of them. Not to brag on my daughter but I

> do see a big difference in motor skills and social maturity, some of it

> too could be different families too but I’m sure age is a big part.

> Constance has 2 younger siblings and her friend has one younger brother-

> both her parents work and I stay home so I mean there’s different things

> going on but I think a lot of it was bottom line AGE.

> Constance is not my mild HL child, but she did have to be able to write

> her name before going to kindy (they accepted backwards s’s and y’s).

> Breanna on the other hand my mild HL child- is 3 ½ and a bit behind in

> motor skills- she draws a circle and keeps going around and round and

> round doesn’t just stop at A circle and also does not decent stairs

> alternating feet, but she knows ALL of her colors and can count to 10.

> So she just excels in other areas.

> I know this doesn’t give you clear cut answers but just some

> thoughts to add to your concerns.

>

> -Robin

> Memphis Mommy

>

> Kindergarten next fall-thinking ahead

>

> Hello,

>

> We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next

> year, or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one,

> and while we have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm

> trying to type out my thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

> I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any

> sense. Apologies in advance.

>

> Clara has a profound unilateral loss in her left ear. Normal/near

> normal in the right. Her right ear tests at 20db straight across,

> which 2 audis so far have told me is fine. But I am going to get

> another opinion, because from what I have read, for a child, that is

> on the borderline of a mild loss. Right now, she is not aided. Our

> audis have discouraged getting a CROS aid, and we were told that she

> cannot have a Transear (a new type of aid for unilateral loss) until

> the tubes fall out of her ears. I am going to look into getting a

> CROS aid, or an FM for Kindergarten.

>

> Right now, she goes to a typical preschool. They of course know about

> her loss. Her teachers say she is doing well. And she has improved

> from last year. But in many ways she seems behind the other kids.

>

> Clara's birthday is Nov. 5. So if we put her in Kindergarten next

> year, she will be one of the youngest kids. In Connecticut, the

> cutoff age is Dec. 31. So technically she is supposed to attend next

> year. There are a few people I know with typical children who also

> have late birthdays who are considering holding their children back as

> well, mainly because they don't want their child to be one of the

> youngest. If I didn't have other worries though, I don't think I

> would hold her back just because of that.

>

> Clara knows a lot of stuff that they probably cover in Kindergarten.

> She knows her letters, and numbers. She knows her colors and shapes.

> Her language is good. She has a good vocabulary.

>

> My concerns with Clara is that she is socially immature. She needs

> encouragement to interact with her peers. She almost never will

> initiate an interaction, or suggest an activity. She just follows

> along with whatever the other child says. She doesn't assert herself.

> When another child does something she doesn't like, say try to tickle

> her, she won't tell him/her to stop. She just starts to cry. I worry

> that kids are just going to run all over her unless she learns to

> stand up for herself. We try to role play all these things at home,

> but so far it hasn't generalized to the school settings. I probably

> don't do the role-plays as often as I should. I find I tend to make

> it too " instructional. " I really have to think about ways to make it

> fun for her to do so she will cooperate.

>

> Her motor skills are also behind her peers. She runs, but not as fast

> as the other kids. She climbs stairs, but slowly, and going down she

> doesn't alternate feet. She has trouble tracing letters. She likes

> to scribble, doesn't rarely tries to draw anything. I'm not expecting

> her to make anything too recognizable, but I think at this age most

> kids will try to draw a person or a house or a dog, etc. If I

> encourage her, she sometimes tries to draw a face. She has just

> learned to make X's.

>

> Her social and motor issues are the main things that make me want to

> hold off on Kindergarten. But I have also heard that many times, the

> kids often don't catch up, so it doesn't do much good to hold them

> back for a year.

>

> So do I send her off to Kindergarten next year, or do we wait?

>

> Thanks for reading this. There's probably more I've forgotten to add.

> But, I need to go. So I'm going to send this off now, and hopefully

> it makes sense.

>

> Cheryl

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi all.

I am new to this group and have never posted before, but felt I could

contribute to this discussion.

My son, Jadon, is 6 years old with a moderate to severe loss. He was

diagnosed with his loss during his first week of Kindergarten, last year. He

has bilateral LVAS and is aided in both ears.

Jadon has a late birthday and unfortunately, he was enrolled, and school even

started, before we knew of his loss. We struggled for the 2 years prior to him

starting, on whether to send him or not--keep in mind, not knowing of his loss.

We finally made the decision to send him, but thought we'd try 1/2 day

kindergarten and then the next year, full day. Our decision boiled down to the

fact that we were more familiar with our primary school. We already had 2 other

kids there and figured the environment was more familiar for Jadon. It's a

small private school and we knew the teacher well, also.

Once we learned of Jadon's loss, we immediately began kicking ourselves. Now,

not only was he the youngest in his class, he had a hearing loss-which certainly

was not going to help matters! Although, we kicked ourselves, the teachers and

audiologists insisted we made a great decision. Jadon now had access to more

help, which he wouldn't have had if we had kept him in our local pre-school.

To make a long story short, here we are, 1 year later. Jadon is in first grade

and he is pulled from his class 4x a week---2x for speech, 2x for a reading

tutor. During the weeknight, he attends speech therapy 1x at our local

childrens hospital, and is also beginning aural rehab.

Do I think we made the right decision? No. We were kicking ourselves for a

reason. We knew it wasn't the right decision, in our hearts. However, at the

time, I felt the experts knew more than I did, about my own child! At this

point, I feel Jadon is pulled so much from his class, in order to get the help

he needs, that I sometimes wonder what the point of him even going is. Perhaps,

had we waited, he still would have needed this assistance, or, maybe not. But,

what I do know, is he is no where near learing how to read. He is far behind his

peers in speech, motor skills and maturity. If I could have removed just one of

those struggles from him, by waiting just 1 year to start school-I would do it

in a heartbeat, over and over again.

Once your child begins school, their friendships and bonds form with their

peers. Although, we went into our plan w/ intentions of holding our son back in

Kindergarten, it backfired when the teacher recommended sending him on (in fear

that he would get bored hearing the same material again) and then, when we saw

him with his friends and how close they have become. More damage would have

been done to his self esteem, had we not let him advance with his peers. So,

now we have a little guy that struggles and cries nightly in frustration, in

trying to keep up with his peers academically.

On the flip side, I do have another son-age 8. He also has a late birthday,

but does not have a hearing loss. We sent him onto Kindergarten and he is doing

beautifully, now in the 3rd grade. Our pediatrician said, if a child is okay

socially, they will catch up academically. So, since this one is our social

butterfly, we sent him and actually have no regrets. He is a little behind in

maturity...but, he is a boy and he comes by it honestly. Daddy is still a big

kid too!

We also have a daughter, our oldest, that is one of the oldest in her class.

There is not one regret that I have here. As a matter of fact, she is in the

top of her class academically, athletically and socially. She was never

immature for her age and was actually granted many specials for being so ahead

of others. She got to tutor others in her free time, during school. She was

even given extra work (she didn't think this was a bonus, but I did) to take

home, to challenge her abilities. Of course, not every child that is older will

excel like this. But, my point is that-we have never had any regrets, nor can I

even make one up, in regards to our decision to not send her to kindergarten

when she was technically old enough.

It seems there are just so many pros in holdoing them back!

I don't necessarily think the hearing loss alone, is the reason for my

youngest sons struggles. Although, it's a huge part, I also think these choices

need to be made on a case by case basis. The experiences we have had w/ Jadon,

may not be experiences anyone else may go thru.

Don't you wiish our kids came w/ instruction manuals??????

[Guest guest]

Hi all.

I am new to this group and have never posted before, but felt I could

contribute to this discussion.

My son, Jadon, is 6 years old with a moderate to severe loss. He was

diagnosed with his loss during his first week of Kindergarten, last year. He

has bilateral LVAS and is aided in both ears.

Jadon has a late birthday and unfortunately, he was enrolled, and school even

started, before we knew of his loss. We struggled for the 2 years prior to him

starting, on whether to send him or not--keep in mind, not knowing of his loss.

We finally made the decision to send him, but thought we'd try 1/2 day

kindergarten and then the next year, full day. Our decision boiled down to the

fact that we were more familiar with our primary school. We already had 2 other

kids there and figured the environment was more familiar for Jadon. It's a

small private school and we knew the teacher well, also.

Once we learned of Jadon's loss, we immediately began kicking ourselves. Now,

not only was he the youngest in his class, he had a hearing loss-which certainly

was not going to help matters! Although, we kicked ourselves, the teachers and

audiologists insisted we made a great decision. Jadon now had access to more

help, which he wouldn't have had if we had kept him in our local pre-school.

To make a long story short, here we are, 1 year later. Jadon is in first grade

and he is pulled from his class 4x a week---2x for speech, 2x for a reading

tutor. During the weeknight, he attends speech therapy 1x at our local

childrens hospital, and is also beginning aural rehab.

Do I think we made the right decision? No. We were kicking ourselves for a

reason. We knew it wasn't the right decision, in our hearts. However, at the

time, I felt the experts knew more than I did, about my own child! At this

point, I feel Jadon is pulled so much from his class, in order to get the help

he needs, that I sometimes wonder what the point of him even going is. Perhaps,

had we waited, he still would have needed this assistance, or, maybe not. But,

what I do know, is he is no where near learing how to read. He is far behind his

peers in speech, motor skills and maturity. If I could have removed just one of

those struggles from him, by waiting just 1 year to start school-I would do it

in a heartbeat, over and over again.

Once your child begins school, their friendships and bonds form with their

peers. Although, we went into our plan w/ intentions of holding our son back in

Kindergarten, it backfired when the teacher recommended sending him on (in fear

that he would get bored hearing the same material again) and then, when we saw

him with his friends and how close they have become. More damage would have

been done to his self esteem, had we not let him advance with his peers. So,

now we have a little guy that struggles and cries nightly in frustration, in

trying to keep up with his peers academically.

On the flip side, I do have another son-age 8. He also has a late birthday,

but does not have a hearing loss. We sent him onto Kindergarten and he is doing

beautifully, now in the 3rd grade. Our pediatrician said, if a child is okay

socially, they will catch up academically. So, since this one is our social

butterfly, we sent him and actually have no regrets. He is a little behind in

maturity...but, he is a boy and he comes by it honestly. Daddy is still a big

kid too!

We also have a daughter, our oldest, that is one of the oldest in her class.

There is not one regret that I have here. As a matter of fact, she is in the

top of her class academically, athletically and socially. She was never

immature for her age and was actually granted many specials for being so ahead

of others. She got to tutor others in her free time, during school. She was

even given extra work (she didn't think this was a bonus, but I did) to take

home, to challenge her abilities. Of course, not every child that is older will

excel like this. But, my point is that-we have never had any regrets, nor can I

even make one up, in regards to our decision to not send her to kindergarten

when she was technically old enough.

It seems there are just so many pros in holdoing them back!

I don't necessarily think the hearing loss alone, is the reason for my

youngest sons struggles. Although, it's a huge part, I also think these choices

need to be made on a case by case basis. The experiences we have had w/ Jadon,

may not be experiences anyone else may go thru.

Don't you wiish our kids came w/ instruction manuals??????

[Guest guest]

Hi all.

I am new to this group and have never posted before, but felt I could

contribute to this discussion.

My son, Jadon, is 6 years old with a moderate to severe loss. He was

diagnosed with his loss during his first week of Kindergarten, last year. He

has bilateral LVAS and is aided in both ears.

Jadon has a late birthday and unfortunately, he was enrolled, and school even

started, before we knew of his loss. We struggled for the 2 years prior to him

starting, on whether to send him or not--keep in mind, not knowing of his loss.

We finally made the decision to send him, but thought we'd try 1/2 day

kindergarten and then the next year, full day. Our decision boiled down to the

fact that we were more familiar with our primary school. We already had 2 other

kids there and figured the environment was more familiar for Jadon. It's a

small private school and we knew the teacher well, also.

Once we learned of Jadon's loss, we immediately began kicking ourselves. Now,

not only was he the youngest in his class, he had a hearing loss-which certainly

was not going to help matters! Although, we kicked ourselves, the teachers and

audiologists insisted we made a great decision. Jadon now had access to more

help, which he wouldn't have had if we had kept him in our local pre-school.

To make a long story short, here we are, 1 year later. Jadon is in first grade

and he is pulled from his class 4x a week---2x for speech, 2x for a reading

tutor. During the weeknight, he attends speech therapy 1x at our local

childrens hospital, and is also beginning aural rehab.

Do I think we made the right decision? No. We were kicking ourselves for a

reason. We knew it wasn't the right decision, in our hearts. However, at the

time, I felt the experts knew more than I did, about my own child! At this

point, I feel Jadon is pulled so much from his class, in order to get the help

he needs, that I sometimes wonder what the point of him even going is. Perhaps,

had we waited, he still would have needed this assistance, or, maybe not. But,

what I do know, is he is no where near learing how to read. He is far behind his

peers in speech, motor skills and maturity. If I could have removed just one of

those struggles from him, by waiting just 1 year to start school-I would do it

in a heartbeat, over and over again.

Once your child begins school, their friendships and bonds form with their

peers. Although, we went into our plan w/ intentions of holding our son back in

Kindergarten, it backfired when the teacher recommended sending him on (in fear

that he would get bored hearing the same material again) and then, when we saw

him with his friends and how close they have become. More damage would have

been done to his self esteem, had we not let him advance with his peers. So,

now we have a little guy that struggles and cries nightly in frustration, in

trying to keep up with his peers academically.

On the flip side, I do have another son-age 8. He also has a late birthday,

but does not have a hearing loss. We sent him onto Kindergarten and he is doing

beautifully, now in the 3rd grade. Our pediatrician said, if a child is okay

socially, they will catch up academically. So, since this one is our social

butterfly, we sent him and actually have no regrets. He is a little behind in

maturity...but, he is a boy and he comes by it honestly. Daddy is still a big

kid too!

We also have a daughter, our oldest, that is one of the oldest in her class.

There is not one regret that I have here. As a matter of fact, she is in the

top of her class academically, athletically and socially. She was never

immature for her age and was actually granted many specials for being so ahead

of others. She got to tutor others in her free time, during school. She was

even given extra work (she didn't think this was a bonus, but I did) to take

home, to challenge her abilities. Of course, not every child that is older will

excel like this. But, my point is that-we have never had any regrets, nor can I

even make one up, in regards to our decision to not send her to kindergarten

when she was technically old enough.

It seems there are just so many pros in holdoing them back!

I don't necessarily think the hearing loss alone, is the reason for my

youngest sons struggles. Although, it's a huge part, I also think these choices

need to be made on a case by case basis. The experiences we have had w/ Jadon,

may not be experiences anyone else may go thru.

Don't you wiish our kids came w/ instruction manuals??????

[Guest guest]

Hi - you sound like you're describing my Tom at that age! We

actually held Tom at the end of first grade - so it's not a " done deal "

for your little guy by any means. And same goes - it was an excellent

decision for him.

Barbara

Burch wrote:

> Hi all.

> I am new to this group and have never posted before, but felt I could

contribute to this discussion.

> My son, Jadon, is 6 years old with a moderate to severe loss. He was

diagnosed with his loss during his first week of Kindergarten, last year. He

has bilateral LVAS and is aided in both ears.

> Jadon has a late birthday and unfortunately, he was enrolled, and school

even started, before we knew of his loss. We struggled for the 2 years prior to

him starting, on whether to send him or not--keep in mind, not knowing of his

loss. We finally made the decision to send him, but thought we'd try 1/2 day

kindergarten and then the next year, full day. Our decision boiled down to the

fact that we were more familiar with our primary school. We already had 2 other

kids there and figured the environment was more familiar for Jadon. It's a

small private school and we knew the teacher well, also.

> Once we learned of Jadon's loss, we immediately began kicking ourselves.

Now, not only was he the youngest in his class, he had a hearing loss-which

certainly was not going to help matters! Although, we kicked ourselves, the

teachers and audiologists insisted we made a great decision. Jadon now had

access to more help, which he wouldn't have had if we had kept him in our local

pre-school.

> To make a long story short, here we are, 1 year later. Jadon is in first

grade and he is pulled from his class 4x a week---2x for speech, 2x for a

reading tutor. During the weeknight, he attends speech therapy 1x at our local

childrens hospital, and is also beginning aural rehab.

> Do I think we made the right decision? No. We were kicking ourselves for a

reason. We knew it wasn't the right decision, in our hearts. However, at the

time, I felt the experts knew more than I did, about my own child! At this

point, I feel Jadon is pulled so much from his class, in order to get the help

he needs, that I sometimes wonder what the point of him even going is. Perhaps,

had we waited, he still would have needed this assistance, or, maybe not. But,

what I do know, is he is no where near learing how to read. He is far behind his

peers in speech, motor skills and maturity. If I could have removed just one of

those struggles from him, by waiting just 1 year to start school-I would do it

in a heartbeat, over and over again.

> Once your child begins school, their friendships and bonds form with their

peers. Although, we went into our plan w/ intentions of holding our son back in

Kindergarten, it backfired when the teacher recommended sending him on (in fear

that he would get bored hearing the same material again) and then, when we saw

him with his friends and how close they have become. More damage would have

been done to his self esteem, had we not let him advance with his peers. So,

now we have a little guy that struggles and cries nightly in frustration, in

trying to keep up with his peers academically.

> On the flip side, I do have another son-age 8. He also has a late birthday,

but does not have a hearing loss. We sent him onto Kindergarten and he is doing

beautifully, now in the 3rd grade. Our pediatrician said, if a child is okay

socially, they will catch up academically. So, since this one is our social

butterfly, we sent him and actually have no regrets. He is a little behind in

maturity...but, he is a boy and he comes by it honestly. Daddy is still a big

kid too!

> We also have a daughter, our oldest, that is one of the oldest in her class.

There is not one regret that I have here. As a matter of fact, she is in the

top of her class academically, athletically and socially. She was never

immature for her age and was actually granted many specials for being so ahead

of others. She got to tutor others in her free time, during school. She was

even given extra work (she didn't think this was a bonus, but I did) to take

home, to challenge her abilities. Of course, not every child that is older will

excel like this. But, my point is that-we have never had any regrets, nor can I

even make one up, in regards to our decision to not send her to kindergarten

when she was technically old enough.

> It seems there are just so many pros in holdoing them back!

> I don't necessarily think the hearing loss alone, is the reason for my

youngest sons struggles. Although, it's a huge part, I also think these choices

need to be made on a case by case basis. The experiences we have had w/ Jadon,

may not be experiences anyone else may go thru.

> Don't you wiish our kids came w/ instruction manuals??????

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

You never know who you are going to help when you write a post to someone

else.

I am dreading this PPT (CT's version of amending the IEP) on Wed. I'll tell

you, running that marathon was less stress then heading into this thing in

two days. But after reading your post, and then reading it out loud to my

husband, I know we are making the right decision to pull Bobby out of

kindergarten. What happens is that in school they focus on tasks and

procedures and concepts so much that they don't even see the underlying

delays of the comprehension of these kids. At least my school doesn't. I,

like you, have three older ones who are oldest in their class (like your

daughter) and two of them are in honors classes. I am sure it is because

they were super ready to handle the workload of school at an age where they

coudl emotionally handle it. The other one is also top of her class in

certain areas, reading is not one of them, but she is getting there. When I

watch her now in 3rd grade at the age of 9, and then I meet some of her

friends in 3rd grade who are still 7, I can't imagine how these little kids

are handling the work she is bringing home. It is like we took a giant leap

when she left 2nd grade and entered 3rd. And I picture Bobby handling that

kind of work in 3rd grade and I want want to give him every advantage I can

right now.

Since we are taking him out now, he said he doesn't really care that he

won't be with these kids any more. I took him to the Soundbridge preschool

3 times and he stayed in the class all day with the new friends he'll

meet...they ask when he is coming all the time. He'll be fine.

I too worried about the time they would have to take Bobby out of class to

give him the extra services. As it is now they wanted to keep him all day

so he'd go to K in the morning and get all the extras in the afternoon. But

what about next year? I would wind up in your situation. I thought maybe a

year more at home and in preschool might give him the edge to at least be

able to catch up a bit and though I would like him to excell and be at the

top of his class someday, I am willling to settle for him just keeping up

with his friends.

The school is just like your school...saying he can keep up and is doing

well. I see differently because I am with him all day. And I know once he

gets in that track, it's full steam ahead because they don't want to " keep

him back from his peers " or that with the " extra help " he wil do OK. I

don't want him to just do " ok " . I want him to be happy and that won't

happen if he has to struggle just to be included with his friends.

Thanks for your honesty. See? Even though you haven't been here long, you

have a world of very important experience! I will hold firm to my decision

on Wed and let you know how it goes. Worst they can do is refuse to pay for

preschool,, which I am expecting anyway, and we'll just do it privately. If

they refuse to pay for the AV therapy for the rest of the school year, then

we have bigger problems. We'll see. I have to believe I know my own kid

better than them, which unfortunately they have a knack for planting doubts

in even the best and most firmly rooted of us mothers.

Trish

Visit Trish and Bobby's Marathon website at

http://www.firstgiving.com/bobbymarathon

[Guest guest]

,

You never know who you are going to help when you write a post to someone

else.

I am dreading this PPT (CT's version of amending the IEP) on Wed. I'll tell

you, running that marathon was less stress then heading into this thing in

two days. But after reading your post, and then reading it out loud to my

husband, I know we are making the right decision to pull Bobby out of

kindergarten. What happens is that in school they focus on tasks and

procedures and concepts so much that they don't even see the underlying

delays of the comprehension of these kids. At least my school doesn't. I,

like you, have three older ones who are oldest in their class (like your

daughter) and two of them are in honors classes. I am sure it is because

they were super ready to handle the workload of school at an age where they

coudl emotionally handle it. The other one is also top of her class in

certain areas, reading is not one of them, but she is getting there. When I

watch her now in 3rd grade at the age of 9, and then I meet some of her

friends in 3rd grade who are still 7, I can't imagine how these little kids

are handling the work she is bringing home. It is like we took a giant leap

when she left 2nd grade and entered 3rd. And I picture Bobby handling that

kind of work in 3rd grade and I want want to give him every advantage I can

right now.

Since we are taking him out now, he said he doesn't really care that he

won't be with these kids any more. I took him to the Soundbridge preschool

3 times and he stayed in the class all day with the new friends he'll

meet...they ask when he is coming all the time. He'll be fine.

I too worried about the time they would have to take Bobby out of class to

give him the extra services. As it is now they wanted to keep him all day

so he'd go to K in the morning and get all the extras in the afternoon. But

what about next year? I would wind up in your situation. I thought maybe a

year more at home and in preschool might give him the edge to at least be

able to catch up a bit and though I would like him to excell and be at the

top of his class someday, I am willling to settle for him just keeping up

with his friends.

The school is just like your school...saying he can keep up and is doing

well. I see differently because I am with him all day. And I know once he

gets in that track, it's full steam ahead because they don't want to " keep

him back from his peers " or that with the " extra help " he wil do OK. I

don't want him to just do " ok " . I want him to be happy and that won't

happen if he has to struggle just to be included with his friends.

Thanks for your honesty. See? Even though you haven't been here long, you

have a world of very important experience! I will hold firm to my decision

on Wed and let you know how it goes. Worst they can do is refuse to pay for

preschool,, which I am expecting anyway, and we'll just do it privately. If

they refuse to pay for the AV therapy for the rest of the school year, then

we have bigger problems. We'll see. I have to believe I know my own kid

better than them, which unfortunately they have a knack for planting doubts

in even the best and most firmly rooted of us mothers.

Trish

Visit Trish and Bobby's Marathon website at

http://www.firstgiving.com/bobbymarathon

[Guest guest]

Hi Cheryl,

My son has a November birthday too (the 4th) and in California the

cutoff is after his birthday, so I've been talking to other moms about this

too. What I've gleaned is that no one has ever been upset that they held

their child back. But the reverse is not true. And as for us - is my

HOH child, he is almost 3. We didn't find out about his hearing loss until

this year, but even before that, I have planned to hold him back.

Good luck in your decision!

Sherry

PS I also know that some school districts have started to offer two years of

kindergarten - they are doing a pilot program of that at one of our local

elementary schools, so it will be interesting to see if that trend spreads.

Kindergarten next fall-thinking ahead

Hello,

We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next year,

or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one, and while we

have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm trying to type out my

thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any sense.

Apologies in advance.

Clara has a profound unilateral loss in her left ear. Normal/near normal in

the right. Her right ear tests at 20db straight across, which 2 audis so

far have told me is fine. But I am going to get another opinion, because

from what I have read, for a child, that is on the borderline of a mild

loss. Right now, she is not aided. Our audis have discouraged getting a

CROS aid, and we were told that she cannot have a Transear (a new type of

aid for unilateral loss) until the tubes fall out of her ears. I am going

to look into getting a CROS aid, or an FM for Kindergarten.

Right now, she goes to a typical preschool. They of course know about her

loss. Her teachers say she is doing well. And she has improved from last

year. But in many ways she seems behind the other kids.

Clara's birthday is Nov. 5. So if we put her in Kindergarten next year, she

will be one of the youngest kids. In Connecticut, the cutoff age is Dec.

31. So technically she is supposed to attend next year. There are a few

people I know with typical children who also have late birthdays who are

considering holding their children back as well, mainly because they don't

want their child to be one of the youngest. If I didn't have other worries

though, I don't think I would hold her back just because of that.

Clara knows a lot of stuff that they probably cover in Kindergarten.

She knows her letters, and numbers. She knows her colors and shapes.

Her language is good. She has a good vocabulary.

My concerns with Clara is that she is socially immature. She needs

encouragement to interact with her peers. She almost never will initiate an

interaction, or suggest an activity. She just follows along with whatever

the other child says. She doesn't assert herself.

When another child does something she doesn't like, say try to tickle her,

she won't tell him/her to stop. She just starts to cry. I worry that kids

are just going to run all over her unless she learns to stand up for

herself. We try to role play all these things at home, but so far it hasn't

generalized to the school settings. I probably don't do the role-plays as

often as I should. I find I tend to make it too " instructional. " I really

have to think about ways to make it fun for her to do so she will cooperate.

Her motor skills are also behind her peers. She runs, but not as fast as

the other kids. She climbs stairs, but slowly, and going down she doesn't

alternate feet. She has trouble tracing letters. She likes to scribble,

doesn't rarely tries to draw anything. I'm not expecting her to make

anything too recognizable, but I think at this age most kids will try to

draw a person or a house or a dog, etc. If I encourage her, she sometimes

tries to draw a face. She has just learned to make X's.

Her social and motor issues are the main things that make me want to hold

off on Kindergarten. But I have also heard that many times, the kids often

don't catch up, so it doesn't do much good to hold them back for a year.

So do I send her off to Kindergarten next year, or do we wait?

Thanks for reading this. There's probably more I've forgotten to add.

But, I need to go. So I'm going to send this off now, and hopefully it

makes sense.

Cheryl

All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is

the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright

restrictions.

[Guest guest]

Hi Cheryl,

My son has a November birthday too (the 4th) and in California the

cutoff is after his birthday, so I've been talking to other moms about this

too. What I've gleaned is that no one has ever been upset that they held

their child back. But the reverse is not true. And as for us - is my

HOH child, he is almost 3. We didn't find out about his hearing loss until

this year, but even before that, I have planned to hold him back.

Good luck in your decision!

Sherry

PS I also know that some school districts have started to offer two years of

kindergarten - they are doing a pilot program of that at one of our local

elementary schools, so it will be interesting to see if that trend spreads.

Kindergarten next fall-thinking ahead

Hello,

We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next year,

or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one, and while we

have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm trying to type out my

thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any sense.

Apologies in advance.

Clara has a profound unilateral loss in her left ear. Normal/near normal in

the right. Her right ear tests at 20db straight across, which 2 audis so

far have told me is fine. But I am going to get another opinion, because

from what I have read, for a child, that is on the borderline of a mild

loss. Right now, she is not aided. Our audis have discouraged getting a

CROS aid, and we were told that she cannot have a Transear (a new type of

aid for unilateral loss) until the tubes fall out of her ears. I am going

to look into getting a CROS aid, or an FM for Kindergarten.

Right now, she goes to a typical preschool. They of course know about her

loss. Her teachers say she is doing well. And she has improved from last

year. But in many ways she seems behind the other kids.

Clara's birthday is Nov. 5. So if we put her in Kindergarten next year, she

will be one of the youngest kids. In Connecticut, the cutoff age is Dec.

31. So technically she is supposed to attend next year. There are a few

people I know with typical children who also have late birthdays who are

considering holding their children back as well, mainly because they don't

want their child to be one of the youngest. If I didn't have other worries

though, I don't think I would hold her back just because of that.

Clara knows a lot of stuff that they probably cover in Kindergarten.

She knows her letters, and numbers. She knows her colors and shapes.

Her language is good. She has a good vocabulary.

My concerns with Clara is that she is socially immature. She needs

encouragement to interact with her peers. She almost never will initiate an

interaction, or suggest an activity. She just follows along with whatever

the other child says. She doesn't assert herself.

When another child does something she doesn't like, say try to tickle her,

she won't tell him/her to stop. She just starts to cry. I worry that kids

are just going to run all over her unless she learns to stand up for

herself. We try to role play all these things at home, but so far it hasn't

generalized to the school settings. I probably don't do the role-plays as

often as I should. I find I tend to make it too " instructional. " I really

have to think about ways to make it fun for her to do so she will cooperate.

Her motor skills are also behind her peers. She runs, but not as fast as

the other kids. She climbs stairs, but slowly, and going down she doesn't

alternate feet. She has trouble tracing letters. She likes to scribble,

doesn't rarely tries to draw anything. I'm not expecting her to make

anything too recognizable, but I think at this age most kids will try to

draw a person or a house or a dog, etc. If I encourage her, she sometimes

tries to draw a face. She has just learned to make X's.

Her social and motor issues are the main things that make me want to hold

off on Kindergarten. But I have also heard that many times, the kids often

don't catch up, so it doesn't do much good to hold them back for a year.

So do I send her off to Kindergarten next year, or do we wait?

Thanks for reading this. There's probably more I've forgotten to add.

But, I need to go. So I'm going to send this off now, and hopefully it

makes sense.

Cheryl

All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is

the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright

restrictions.

[Guest guest]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think you all are pretty much

saying what I've been thinking too. It probably won't hurt her to

hold her back if she didn't need to be. I guess what I wonder is if

we will have the same problems, we're just postponing them a year.

This is another minor thing. Her cousin is going to start

Kindergarten next year. She is 6 months older. My mother inlaw is

afraid that Clara will be upset if she is a year behind her cousin.

They wouldn't be going to the same school though. So I don't think

it's that huge a deal. Just thought I'd throw it in anyway.

[Guest guest]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think you all are pretty much

saying what I've been thinking too. It probably won't hurt her to

hold her back if she didn't need to be. I guess what I wonder is if

we will have the same problems, we're just postponing them a year.

This is another minor thing. Her cousin is going to start

Kindergarten next year. She is 6 months older. My mother inlaw is

afraid that Clara will be upset if she is a year behind her cousin.

They wouldn't be going to the same school though. So I don't think

it's that huge a deal. Just thought I'd throw it in anyway.

[Guest guest]

In general, I've always advocated not holding kids back if they

are ready academically. However, Clara's birthday is awfully

late in the year. Elias's birthday is Feb 15, so he is officially

not being " held back " according to the cutoff date, but because

of where his birthday is, he essentially gets a whole extra

year of preschool. And believe me, he needs it.

My older kid finished kindergarten last year, so I learned quite

a bit. My take on it is that it didn't seem so important that

a child be able to socialize well with other kids, but it is really

important that a child be able to follow directions, do tasks

when asked, and interact well with the teacher. Some of the

kids in my older son's class were very immature with respect

to the other kids, but did very well anyway. I found that

kindergarten was much more structured than preschool, and

the kids didn't tend to run all over each other the way they

do in preschool.

But Elias is the opposite. He does well with other kids, but

is still pretty difficult with teachers. He is stubborn. He can't

write letters at all (he gets OT to help him with this). He can't

use scissors and his motor skills are behind by about a year.

I think these things are important and he is benefiting by the

extra time.

So my advice would be - if Clara is having trouble with skills

that will impact her academically, then definitely wait. If it

is just interacting with other kids, then it is more of a

judgement call.

Does Clara get OT for her handwriting problems? The kindergarten

here definitely expects kids to come in being able to write.

Elias has had OT (and PT) through the school district for over a year

now to help with that skill.

I guess my last bit of advice would be - if you do hold her back,

try to find a preschool that works on the skills she is lacking.

I don't know if I made sense either...

Bonnie

>

> Hello,

>

> We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next

> year, or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one,

> and while we have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm

> trying to type out my thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

> I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any

> sense. Apologies in advance.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In general, I've always advocated not holding kids back if they

are ready academically. However, Clara's birthday is awfully

late in the year. Elias's birthday is Feb 15, so he is officially

not being " held back " according to the cutoff date, but because

of where his birthday is, he essentially gets a whole extra

year of preschool. And believe me, he needs it.

My older kid finished kindergarten last year, so I learned quite

a bit. My take on it is that it didn't seem so important that

a child be able to socialize well with other kids, but it is really

important that a child be able to follow directions, do tasks

when asked, and interact well with the teacher. Some of the

kids in my older son's class were very immature with respect

to the other kids, but did very well anyway. I found that

kindergarten was much more structured than preschool, and

the kids didn't tend to run all over each other the way they

do in preschool.

But Elias is the opposite. He does well with other kids, but

is still pretty difficult with teachers. He is stubborn. He can't

write letters at all (he gets OT to help him with this). He can't

use scissors and his motor skills are behind by about a year.

I think these things are important and he is benefiting by the

extra time.

So my advice would be - if Clara is having trouble with skills

that will impact her academically, then definitely wait. If it

is just interacting with other kids, then it is more of a

judgement call.

Does Clara get OT for her handwriting problems? The kindergarten

here definitely expects kids to come in being able to write.

Elias has had OT (and PT) through the school district for over a year

now to help with that skill.

I guess my last bit of advice would be - if you do hold her back,

try to find a preschool that works on the skills she is lacking.

I don't know if I made sense either...

Bonnie

>

> Hello,

>

> We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next

> year, or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one,

> and while we have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm

> trying to type out my thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

> I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any

> sense. Apologies in advance.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In general, I've always advocated not holding kids back if they

are ready academically. However, Clara's birthday is awfully

late in the year. Elias's birthday is Feb 15, so he is officially

not being " held back " according to the cutoff date, but because

of where his birthday is, he essentially gets a whole extra

year of preschool. And believe me, he needs it.

My older kid finished kindergarten last year, so I learned quite

a bit. My take on it is that it didn't seem so important that

a child be able to socialize well with other kids, but it is really

important that a child be able to follow directions, do tasks

when asked, and interact well with the teacher. Some of the

kids in my older son's class were very immature with respect

to the other kids, but did very well anyway. I found that

kindergarten was much more structured than preschool, and

the kids didn't tend to run all over each other the way they

do in preschool.

But Elias is the opposite. He does well with other kids, but

is still pretty difficult with teachers. He is stubborn. He can't

write letters at all (he gets OT to help him with this). He can't

use scissors and his motor skills are behind by about a year.

I think these things are important and he is benefiting by the

extra time.

So my advice would be - if Clara is having trouble with skills

that will impact her academically, then definitely wait. If it

is just interacting with other kids, then it is more of a

judgement call.

Does Clara get OT for her handwriting problems? The kindergarten

here definitely expects kids to come in being able to write.

Elias has had OT (and PT) through the school district for over a year

now to help with that skill.

I guess my last bit of advice would be - if you do hold her back,

try to find a preschool that works on the skills she is lacking.

I don't know if I made sense either...

Bonnie

>

> Hello,

>

> We are trying to decide if we should send Clara to Kindergarten next

> year, or should we hold her back. We are on the fence on this one,

> and while we have time to decide, I'd like to have a plan. So I'm

> trying to type out my thoughts about this to see if that helps at all.

> I might just end up with a rambling jumble that doesn't make any

> sense. Apologies in advance.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

For those of you my email actually helped-yeahhh! I will have to show my

husband, as he just laughs at my ramblings!

Anyway, I completely understand why academics seems where the focus should be

directed, when making this decision. I agree, to a point. However, just in the

past year, my son has grown so much socially. He went thru 2 years of

pre-school never making one friend. He started kindergarten and made a few

friends. This year, he has a best friend! Actually, he has 3 best friends! For

any of you that has a child that struggles socially, I know you can relate to

how exciting this is. The issues we struggled with, when Jadon was not as

socially confident were-refusal to go to school, lack of interest, and quite a

bit of rebellion when even bringing up anything to do with school. Of course,

these issues effected him academically. He wasn't even willing to learn! He

never had fun in school and with that being said, he certainly wasn't willing to

come home and want to work on the same things he didn't want to work on in

school!

In some ways, academics and socialization goes hand in hand. In order to

achieve progress in one area, our children need progress in the other to feel

confident, to apply what they know in the other area. Wow, that sounds

confusing!

Of course, when all is said in done, we are all trying to achieve the same

thing..... to have smart, well rounded children that make a lot of money to

support us in our retirement years! haha!

[Guest guest]

For those of you my email actually helped-yeahhh! I will have to show my

husband, as he just laughs at my ramblings!

Anyway, I completely understand why academics seems where the focus should be

directed, when making this decision. I agree, to a point. However, just in the

past year, my son has grown so much socially. He went thru 2 years of

pre-school never making one friend. He started kindergarten and made a few

friends. This year, he has a best friend! Actually, he has 3 best friends! For

any of you that has a child that struggles socially, I know you can relate to

how exciting this is. The issues we struggled with, when Jadon was not as

socially confident were-refusal to go to school, lack of interest, and quite a

bit of rebellion when even bringing up anything to do with school. Of course,

these issues effected him academically. He wasn't even willing to learn! He

never had fun in school and with that being said, he certainly wasn't willing to

come home and want to work on the same things he didn't want to work on in

school!

In some ways, academics and socialization goes hand in hand. In order to

achieve progress in one area, our children need progress in the other to feel

confident, to apply what they know in the other area. Wow, that sounds

confusing!

Of course, when all is said in done, we are all trying to achieve the same

thing..... to have smart, well rounded children that make a lot of money to

support us in our retirement years! haha!