Christian duty...

[Guest guest]

Ok, maybe he needs psychological counciling then. LOL!

Georga Hackworth

Enter to win $50 worth of free books

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Re: Christian duty...

Anyway, if he has that kind of money left over maybe he needs financial

councling.

Ah, well, you don't know the full story. Some do here and some newer

members do not. He was an English professor. I had him arrested for

assaulting me (not the first time) and we then split his salary.

Last December he suddenly wanted to stop our divorce proceedings and

reconcile.

Turned out he was about to be arrested for embezzling. He'd been using

university funds to pay his rent and to buy himself the kinds of things he

deserved.

He RESIGNED his job. He was a tenured professor, and, pending the

investigation, they put him on paid leave of absence. Full pay, full

benefits. But no, this genius that I married, has to resign. He thinks

they will be nice to him if he resigns and doesn't give them any trouble.

NOT!

Right? He gave away all his cards and then found that the university was

not willing to do any sort of a deal with him to lower the charges to a

misdemeanor. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Before he resigned, I told him not to and explained why. He resigned the

next day. I think that was the absolute last straw for me with him. I

believe strongly in marriage and working things out but he is just so

hopeless.

So he has had NO income for a year now.

Salli

[Guest guest]

Now, I don't know if that is Christian duty or not. LOL! I think that is the

duty of any decent human being on the planet regurdless of what they believe.

:0) As my friend Marge is fond of saying, I have a cast iron skillet I am

willing to lend for the job.

Georga Hackworth

Enter to win $50 worth of free books

www.ubah.com/F1549

Re: Christian duty...

In a message dated 1/24/03 12:01:27 PM Eastern Standard Time,

bunnytiner@... writes:

> Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man anyway?

>

> Salli

>

I feel that it is my Christian duty to come down there and give Lou a swift

kick in the ass.

[Guest guest]

Maybe, maybe not. At any rate it would be a good service to the human race

Georga Hackworth

Enter to win $50 worth of free books

www.ubah.com/F1549

Re: Christian duty...

>

> > Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man anyway?

> >

> > Salli

> >

>

> I feel that it is my Christian duty to come down there and give Lou a

swift

> kick in the ass.

>

Ha, ha, , be my guest.

Although I am not TOTALLY sure that that would be a Christian act....

Salli

[Guest guest]

Salli,

Your Christian duty ended when that bottle hit your head! He is where he is

because of himself, and no one but himself. You owe him nothing. Your

responsibility is to take care of the kids and yourself (because they need

you) and you do not need to share anything with him when you have them to

care for.

By the way, make sure the tax refund check is sent to the attorney.

Otherwise, you may get nothing!

Sue

[Guest guest]

> Maybe, maybe not. At any rate it would be a good service to the

> human race

There you go. Kick Lou's Ass -- for the Greater Good of Humanity!

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

I should probably bite me tongue ... but I CAN " T.

Granted I don't know all the details here. But I was once involved with

someone who reminds me very much of your ex. Guys like this cannot see

beyond their own needs. He needs money, therefore someone should give it to

him. Isn't that what got him into trouble in the first place? No one

*needs* to embezzle money. He made a choice. And obviously he has not

learned that it was wrong. He sees himself as some noble soul who did it to

provide for the family. But he stole that money, which others earned. And

I'm guessing he did it out of pride. A real man can turn to his family for

strength when the money runs out - - families pull together and get through.

They don't embezzle. Obviously you are all surviving without the money now.

That he would have the *gall* to question the example you set for the

children is beyond belief.

I lived on less than $1600 a month not very long ago. It is plenty of money

to support an apartment, car, bills, cable tv, happy hour, and the

occasional splurge at the Clinique counter. If he can't work it out, he can

get a second shift at Mcs. They will probably even feed him.

Naturally there are also the resources you mention. You are not causing his

suffering. He has life lessons to learn, and things will only get worse for

him until he fixes himself.

In my not so humble opinion, his problem is not money or food. It is pride.

He has plenty of options. What wouldn't any of us give for the freedoms and

peace of $1600 a month and a quiet apartment?

[The inner Catholic speaks]: Anything you do to assist him will only enable

his pathology. God is forgiving, and calls us also to be forgiving, and

compassionate, but forgiveness does not wipe away *consequences.* You need

not feel ownership for his consequences. If you want to help him, say a

prayer that he will learn from these lessons before he causes himself

greater harm, and leave it in God's hands.

I apologize if I have over-stepped my bounds here. But it *kills* me that

your ex thinks that any petty concern of his could even begin to compare

yours - - raising five kids with unique gifts and challenges (not to mention

putting up with his shit). It makes me want to get in the car and drive out

there to kick him in the head for you! (say the word and I'm on my way

.... )

[Guest guest]

>> I do not know how hard he is trying. He always sounds as if he is

> terribly busy. >>

See now....this is why you're up for sainthood and I'm not. I'm

looking at this situation and thinking...grown man...PhD...year's

free time to find a job, learn to make furniture, or write a

book...nada.

Raena (who really admires your ability to see the best in people)

[Guest guest]

did I read that right? a " cat pee frying pan? " must be one of those

flylady things...........hummmmmm

>

> > Now, I don't know if that is Christian duty or not. LOL! I

think that is

> the duty of any decent human being on the planet regurdless of what

they

> believe. :0) As my friend Marge is fond of saying, I have a cast

iron

> skillet I am willing to lend for the job.

> >

> Jacquie used to have a cat pee frying pan. Don't know if she still

does...

>

> Salli

[Guest guest]

well put.

>

> I should probably bite me tongue ... but I CAN " T.

>

> Granted I don't know all the details here. But I was once involved

with

> someone who reminds me very much of your ex. Guys like this cannot

see

> beyond their own needs. He needs money, therefore someone should

give it to

> him. Isn't that what got him into trouble in the first place? No

one

> *needs* to embezzle money. He made a choice. And obviously he has

not

> learned that it was wrong. He sees himself as some noble soul who

did it to

> provide for the family. But he stole that money, which others

earned. And

> I'm guessing he did it out of pride. A real man can turn to his

family for

> strength when the money runs out - - families pull together and get

through.

> They don't embezzle. Obviously you are all surviving without the

money now.

>

> That he would have the *gall* to question the example you set for

the

> children is beyond belief.

>

> I lived on less than $1600 a month not very long ago. It is plenty

of money

> to support an apartment, car, bills, cable tv, happy hour, and the

> occasional splurge at the Clinique counter. If he can't work it

out, he can

> get a second shift at Mcs. They will probably even feed him.

> Naturally there are also the resources you mention. You are not

causing his

> suffering. He has life lessons to learn, and things will only get

worse for

> him until he fixes himself.

>

> In my not so humble opinion, his problem is not money or food. It

is pride.

> He has plenty of options. What wouldn't any of us give for the

freedoms and

> peace of $1600 a month and a quiet apartment?

>

> [The inner Catholic speaks]: Anything you do to assist him will

only enable

> his pathology. God is forgiving, and calls us also to be

forgiving, and

> compassionate, but forgiveness does not wipe away *consequences.*

You need

> not feel ownership for his consequences. If you want to help him,

say a

> prayer that he will learn from these lessons before he causes

himself

> greater harm, and leave it in God's hands.

>

> I apologize if I have over-stepped my bounds here. But it *kills*

me that

> your ex thinks that any petty concern of his could even begin to

compare

> yours - - raising five kids with unique gifts and challenges (not

to mention

> putting up with his shit). It makes me want to get in the car and

drive out

> there to kick him in the head for you! (say the word and I'm on my

way

> ... )

>

>

[Guest guest]

Salli, God knows your heart, might as well snarl at him, He knows you

feel that way anyways. When grieving with , I even cussed while

praying. Instead of being zapped, I felt His love and peace. I've

got a horrible temper and trash mouth, but God listens to all of it,

wants to even, as they say in my sunday school class. Prayer and

forgiveness are good things, they cleanse you and make you feel

better. Well, that just my belief system, not trying to shove it

down anyone's throat here. Thanks. NOW WHO IS FLYLADY??????

Kris

> If he can't work it out, he can

> > get a second shift at Mcs. They will probably even feed

him.

>

> He claims that they won't hire him... of course, I am not sure what

he went

> for, manager probably. Naturally HE would not be serving the

public at the

> drive thru window.

>

> > Naturally there are also the resources you mention. You are not

causing

> his

> > suffering. He has life lessons to learn, and things will only

get worse

> for

> > him until he fixes himself.

> >

> Yes.

>

> > In my not so humble opinion, his problem is not money or food.

It is

> pride.

>

> You are so right. It used to bother me, years ago, when he would

ask if I

> had any cash for him to take to work, and I would have, say, eight

quarters.

> He acted as if quarters were poison. He did not want to pay with

change as

> it looked as if he was scrounging for money.

>

> I have scrounged for money and been grateful to scrape together

enough

> pennies for whatever I needed. Last summer, Sophie and I went

through the

> car with a fine tooth comb and got LOTS of change. We were pleased.

>

> > [The inner Catholic speaks]: Anything you do to assist him will

only

> enable

> > his pathology. God is forgiving, and calls us also to be

forgiving, and

> > compassionate, but forgiveness does not wipe away

*consequences.* You

> need

> > not feel ownership for his consequences. If you want to help

him, say a

> > prayer that he will learn from these lessons before he causes

himself

> > greater harm, and leave it in God's hands.

>

> Great advice. Mostly I am too mad at him even to pray for him as

any

> prayers would start sounding a bit snarl-y, if you know what I mean.

> >

> > I apologize if I have over-stepped my bounds here.

>

> Not at all.

>

> But it *kills* me that

> > your ex thinks that any petty concern of his could even begin to

compare

> > yours - - raising five kids with unique gifts and challenges (not

to

> mention

> > putting up with his shit). It makes me want to get in the car

and drive

> out

> > there to kick him in the head for you! (say the word and I'm on

my way

> > ... )

> >

>

> Ha, ha, go right ahead.

>

> Salli

[Guest guest]

Well, then there is the fact that if your parents wanted *him* to have money

they would give it to him, not you.

I am just so mad for you Salli.

Georga Hackworth

Enter to win $50 worth of free books

www.ubah.com/F1549

Re: Re: Christian duty...

> They have expressly forbidden me to give him money

> and it is THEIR money.

>

> When I pointed this out to Lou, he just said, " Well, it is a matter of

what

> is the right thing to do. Sometimes your Christian duty means you listen

to

> your heart. "

" Honour thy father and thy mother " , asshole.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> NOW WHO IS FLYLADY?????? >>

Kris...go to:

www.flylady.com

Raena

[Guest guest]

Either that or my stupid asshole cat visited her frying pay. The dumb thing is

to stupid to come in out of the cold because it means she would have to share

the house with the other cats. So, for her own good, we brought her in the

house where she didn't freeze to death. She doesn't see this as a good thing.

She lives behind the fridge only to come out and use my stove for a litter pan.

Not to mention behind the fridge. She was a freaking mess yesterday where she

would go behind the frigde and stay in it. Atlanta put her in the tub and gave

her a bath. Boy was she pissed. Served her right. No one said I had to take

in her furry ass when we seen that she was up for adoption. We could have left

her there. Some thanks I get.

Georga Hackworth

Enter to win $50 worth of free books

www.ubah.com/F1549

Re: Christian duty...

did I read that right? a " cat pee frying pan? " must be one of those

flylady things...........hummmmmm

>

> > Now, I don't know if that is Christian duty or not. LOL! I

think that is

> the duty of any decent human being on the planet regurdless of what

they

> believe. :0) As my friend Marge is fond of saying, I have a cast

iron

> skillet I am willing to lend for the job.

> >

> Jacquie used to have a cat pee frying pan. Don't know if she still

does...

>

> Salli

[Guest guest]

Mine is an ex-sailor. He claims that his mornals and common sense were taken

away in boot camp. I am sure he will kick Lou in the head for us and not feal

guilty.

Georga Hackworth

Enter to win $50 worth of free books

www.ubah.com/F1549

Re: Christian duty...

In a message dated 1/24/03 1:06:56 PM Eastern Standard Time,

bunnytiner@... writes:

> Although I am not TOTALLY sure that that would be a Christian act....

>

> Salli

>

ok then I'll let my husband do it. He's a healthen anyway

[Guest guest]

>

> " Honour thy father and thy mother " , asshole.

>

> Jacquie

OMG!! Even Jacquie is quoting!!! Salli, this is big, you absolutely can

not give anything to Lou! Lightning will strike!!

Jacquie, I am in awe from this post!

Sue,

Who is hoping it's taken with the levity it is being said with.

[Guest guest]

I think that Lou should wait out in the car like the rest of us.

[Guest guest]

If he can't work it out, he can

> get a second shift at Mcs. They will probably even feed him.

LOL!!!!

I like what Dr. Phil says: " You can't solve money problems with money "

(the behavior needs to be changed)

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

> No one said I had to take in her furry ass when we seen that she was up for

adoption. We could have left her there. Some thanks I get. <

man, georga. you need to teach that cat some manners. how rude of her to not be

thankful

" Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr.

[Guest guest]

Cats are life support systmes for fur.

This ome more so than some of the others.

She could at least be thankful for be brought in out of the cold this winter

where she didn't freeze to death. But no, she won't even be sociable. She just

sits behind the fridge and craps herself.

When she is outside she is the perfect cat. Comes for attention and everything.

She is mental

Georga Hackworth

Enter to win $50 worth of free books

www.ubah.com/F1549

Re: Re: Christian duty...

> No one said I had to take in her furry ass when we seen that she was up for

adoption. We could have left her there. Some thanks I get. <

man, georga. you need to teach that cat some manners. how rude of her to not

be thankful

" Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr.

[Guest guest]

How much responsibility do I owe to him so that he can keep his pride

and not depend too much on public services?

>

> Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man anyway?

>

None. As in not at all. He made his bed, he can lie in it. His

actions were made voluntarily by himself with no coercion or force

being applied. He is culpable and should be held accountable to the

choices that hes made. You don't owe him anything. He is trying to

be manipulative and controlling instead of accepting responsiblity

for his actions. You are not responsible for his choices or needs,

you have five children and yourself to care for. If he needs help he

can go ask for it from a community based resource, and serving a

little community service would be good for him.

[Guest guest]

> Said he couldn't take the big boys to their work out because he had no gas. <

he should be FULL of gas with all that hot air he's got

" Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr.

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>

Then he says, " I wish you'd help out on this divorce

stuff. Why is it taking so long? "

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Lou is an ass.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

" What, " he asked, " Have I done? "

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A complete ass.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man

anyway?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

What about his " Christian duty " to you and the kids?

Or does he think it only goes one way?

What an ass.

Tuna

=====

You can learn many things from children.

How much patience you have, for instance.

- lin P.

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

By any chance do you think Lou is an ass? LOL!

Georga Hackworth

Enter to win $50 worth of free books

www.ubah.com/F1549

Re: Christian duty...

>>>>>>>>>>

Then he says, " I wish you'd help out on this divorce

stuff. Why is it taking so long? "

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Lou is an ass.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

" What, " he asked, " Have I done? "

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A complete ass.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man

anyway?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

What about his " Christian duty " to you and the kids?

Or does he think it only goes one way?

What an ass.

Tuna

=====

You can learn many things from children.

How much patience you have, for instance.

- lin P.

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

> He asked me if I was raising the kids as Christians and if I didn't think

it set a good example to them to see that I shared my resources with needier

people.

>

> I was growing irritated with this and I said, " You know this is all

basically your own doing, " words which I have never before spoken to him,

but which I have long wanted to say.

>

> But, no, apparently I am wrong. " What, " he asked, " Have I done? The only

reason I am in this position is that I put the good of the family ahead of

myself and took the whole burden of the family on my back alone. "

Oh, puh-leeeeeze.

> I felt tired and angry, but I simply said, " I will not discuss this

anymore. Good-bye " and hung up.

good for you!!!!!! Oh my goodness, Good for you!!!!

>Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man anyway?

IMHO, you've already filled that cup to overflowing.

OTOH, I'm not Christian.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> They have expressly forbidden me to give him money

> and it is THEIR money.

>

> When I pointed this out to Lou, he just said, " Well, it is a matter of

what

> is the right thing to do. Sometimes your Christian duty means you listen

to

> your heart. "

" Honour thy father and thy mother " , asshole.

Jacquie