Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 Ok, maybe he needs psychological counciling then. LOL! Georga Hackworth Enter to win $50 worth of free books www.ubah.com/F1549 Re: Christian duty... Anyway, if he has that kind of money left over maybe he needs financial councling. Ah, well, you don't know the full story. Some do here and some newer members do not. He was an English professor. I had him arrested for assaulting me (not the first time) and we then split his salary. Last December he suddenly wanted to stop our divorce proceedings and reconcile. Turned out he was about to be arrested for embezzling. He'd been using university funds to pay his rent and to buy himself the kinds of things he deserved. He RESIGNED his job. He was a tenured professor, and, pending the investigation, they put him on paid leave of absence. Full pay, full benefits. But no, this genius that I married, has to resign. He thinks they will be nice to him if he resigns and doesn't give them any trouble. NOT! Right? He gave away all his cards and then found that the university was not willing to do any sort of a deal with him to lower the charges to a misdemeanor. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Before he resigned, I told him not to and explained why. He resigned the next day. I think that was the absolute last straw for me with him. I believe strongly in marriage and working things out but he is just so hopeless. So he has had NO income for a year now. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 Now, I don't know if that is Christian duty or not. LOL! I think that is the duty of any decent human being on the planet regurdless of what they believe. :0) As my friend Marge is fond of saying, I have a cast iron skillet I am willing to lend for the job. Georga Hackworth Enter to win $50 worth of free books www.ubah.com/F1549 Re: Christian duty... In a message dated 1/24/03 12:01:27 PM Eastern Standard Time, bunnytiner@... writes: > Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man anyway? > > Salli > I feel that it is my Christian duty to come down there and give Lou a swift kick in the ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 Maybe, maybe not. At any rate it would be a good service to the human race Georga Hackworth Enter to win $50 worth of free books www.ubah.com/F1549 Re: Christian duty... > > > Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man anyway? > > > > Salli > > > > I feel that it is my Christian duty to come down there and give Lou a swift > kick in the ass. > Ha, ha, , be my guest. Although I am not TOTALLY sure that that would be a Christian act.... Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 Salli, Your Christian duty ended when that bottle hit your head! He is where he is because of himself, and no one but himself. You owe him nothing. Your responsibility is to take care of the kids and yourself (because they need you) and you do not need to share anything with him when you have them to care for. By the way, make sure the tax refund check is sent to the attorney. Otherwise, you may get nothing! Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 > Maybe, maybe not. At any rate it would be a good service to the > human race There you go. Kick Lou's Ass -- for the Greater Good of Humanity! -Sara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 I should probably bite me tongue ... but I CAN " T. Granted I don't know all the details here. But I was once involved with someone who reminds me very much of your ex. Guys like this cannot see beyond their own needs. He needs money, therefore someone should give it to him. Isn't that what got him into trouble in the first place? No one *needs* to embezzle money. He made a choice. And obviously he has not learned that it was wrong. He sees himself as some noble soul who did it to provide for the family. But he stole that money, which others earned. And I'm guessing he did it out of pride. A real man can turn to his family for strength when the money runs out - - families pull together and get through. They don't embezzle. Obviously you are all surviving without the money now. That he would have the *gall* to question the example you set for the children is beyond belief. I lived on less than $1600 a month not very long ago. It is plenty of money to support an apartment, car, bills, cable tv, happy hour, and the occasional splurge at the Clinique counter. If he can't work it out, he can get a second shift at Mcs. They will probably even feed him. Naturally there are also the resources you mention. You are not causing his suffering. He has life lessons to learn, and things will only get worse for him until he fixes himself. In my not so humble opinion, his problem is not money or food. It is pride. He has plenty of options. What wouldn't any of us give for the freedoms and peace of $1600 a month and a quiet apartment? [The inner Catholic speaks]: Anything you do to assist him will only enable his pathology. God is forgiving, and calls us also to be forgiving, and compassionate, but forgiveness does not wipe away *consequences.* You need not feel ownership for his consequences. If you want to help him, say a prayer that he will learn from these lessons before he causes himself greater harm, and leave it in God's hands. I apologize if I have over-stepped my bounds here. But it *kills* me that your ex thinks that any petty concern of his could even begin to compare yours - - raising five kids with unique gifts and challenges (not to mention putting up with his shit). It makes me want to get in the car and drive out there to kick him in the head for you! (say the word and I'm on my way .... ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 >> I do not know how hard he is trying. He always sounds as if he is > terribly busy. >> See now....this is why you're up for sainthood and I'm not. I'm looking at this situation and thinking...grown man...PhD...year's free time to find a job, learn to make furniture, or write a book...nada. Raena (who really admires your ability to see the best in people) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 did I read that right? a " cat pee frying pan? " must be one of those flylady things...........hummmmmm > > > Now, I don't know if that is Christian duty or not. LOL! I think that is > the duty of any decent human being on the planet regurdless of what they > believe. :0) As my friend Marge is fond of saying, I have a cast iron > skillet I am willing to lend for the job. > > > Jacquie used to have a cat pee frying pan. Don't know if she still does... > > Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 well put. > > I should probably bite me tongue ... but I CAN " T. > > Granted I don't know all the details here. But I was once involved with > someone who reminds me very much of your ex. Guys like this cannot see > beyond their own needs. He needs money, therefore someone should give it to > him. Isn't that what got him into trouble in the first place? No one > *needs* to embezzle money. He made a choice. And obviously he has not > learned that it was wrong. He sees himself as some noble soul who did it to > provide for the family. But he stole that money, which others earned. And > I'm guessing he did it out of pride. A real man can turn to his family for > strength when the money runs out - - families pull together and get through. > They don't embezzle. Obviously you are all surviving without the money now. > > That he would have the *gall* to question the example you set for the > children is beyond belief. > > I lived on less than $1600 a month not very long ago. It is plenty of money > to support an apartment, car, bills, cable tv, happy hour, and the > occasional splurge at the Clinique counter. If he can't work it out, he can > get a second shift at Mcs. They will probably even feed him. > Naturally there are also the resources you mention. You are not causing his > suffering. He has life lessons to learn, and things will only get worse for > him until he fixes himself. > > In my not so humble opinion, his problem is not money or food. It is pride. > He has plenty of options. What wouldn't any of us give for the freedoms and > peace of $1600 a month and a quiet apartment? > > [The inner Catholic speaks]: Anything you do to assist him will only enable > his pathology. God is forgiving, and calls us also to be forgiving, and > compassionate, but forgiveness does not wipe away *consequences.* You need > not feel ownership for his consequences. If you want to help him, say a > prayer that he will learn from these lessons before he causes himself > greater harm, and leave it in God's hands. > > I apologize if I have over-stepped my bounds here. But it *kills* me that > your ex thinks that any petty concern of his could even begin to compare > yours - - raising five kids with unique gifts and challenges (not to mention > putting up with his shit). It makes me want to get in the car and drive out > there to kick him in the head for you! (say the word and I'm on my way > ... ) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 Salli, God knows your heart, might as well snarl at him, He knows you feel that way anyways. When grieving with , I even cussed while praying. Instead of being zapped, I felt His love and peace. I've got a horrible temper and trash mouth, but God listens to all of it, wants to even, as they say in my sunday school class. Prayer and forgiveness are good things, they cleanse you and make you feel better. Well, that just my belief system, not trying to shove it down anyone's throat here. Thanks. NOW WHO IS FLYLADY?????? Kris > If he can't work it out, he can > > get a second shift at Mcs. They will probably even feed him. > > He claims that they won't hire him... of course, I am not sure what he went > for, manager probably. Naturally HE would not be serving the public at the > drive thru window. > > > Naturally there are also the resources you mention. You are not causing > his > > suffering. He has life lessons to learn, and things will only get worse > for > > him until he fixes himself. > > > Yes. > > > In my not so humble opinion, his problem is not money or food. It is > pride. > > You are so right. It used to bother me, years ago, when he would ask if I > had any cash for him to take to work, and I would have, say, eight quarters. > He acted as if quarters were poison. He did not want to pay with change as > it looked as if he was scrounging for money. > > I have scrounged for money and been grateful to scrape together enough > pennies for whatever I needed. Last summer, Sophie and I went through the > car with a fine tooth comb and got LOTS of change. We were pleased. > > > [The inner Catholic speaks]: Anything you do to assist him will only > enable > > his pathology. God is forgiving, and calls us also to be forgiving, and > > compassionate, but forgiveness does not wipe away *consequences.* You > need > > not feel ownership for his consequences. If you want to help him, say a > > prayer that he will learn from these lessons before he causes himself > > greater harm, and leave it in God's hands. > > Great advice. Mostly I am too mad at him even to pray for him as any > prayers would start sounding a bit snarl-y, if you know what I mean. > > > > I apologize if I have over-stepped my bounds here. > > Not at all. > > But it *kills* me that > > your ex thinks that any petty concern of his could even begin to compare > > yours - - raising five kids with unique gifts and challenges (not to > mention > > putting up with his shit). It makes me want to get in the car and drive > out > > there to kick him in the head for you! (say the word and I'm on my way > > ... ) > > > > Ha, ha, go right ahead. > > Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 Well, then there is the fact that if your parents wanted *him* to have money they would give it to him, not you. I am just so mad for you Salli. Georga Hackworth Enter to win $50 worth of free books www.ubah.com/F1549 Re: Re: Christian duty... > They have expressly forbidden me to give him money > and it is THEIR money. > > When I pointed this out to Lou, he just said, " Well, it is a matter of what > is the right thing to do. Sometimes your Christian duty means you listen to > your heart. " " Honour thy father and thy mother " , asshole. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 > NOW WHO IS FLYLADY?????? >> Kris...go to: www.flylady.com Raena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 Either that or my stupid asshole cat visited her frying pay. The dumb thing is to stupid to come in out of the cold because it means she would have to share the house with the other cats. So, for her own good, we brought her in the house where she didn't freeze to death. She doesn't see this as a good thing. She lives behind the fridge only to come out and use my stove for a litter pan. Not to mention behind the fridge. She was a freaking mess yesterday where she would go behind the frigde and stay in it. Atlanta put her in the tub and gave her a bath. Boy was she pissed. Served her right. No one said I had to take in her furry ass when we seen that she was up for adoption. We could have left her there. Some thanks I get. Georga Hackworth Enter to win $50 worth of free books www.ubah.com/F1549 Re: Christian duty... did I read that right? a " cat pee frying pan? " must be one of those flylady things...........hummmmmm > > > Now, I don't know if that is Christian duty or not. LOL! I think that is > the duty of any decent human being on the planet regurdless of what they > believe. :0) As my friend Marge is fond of saying, I have a cast iron > skillet I am willing to lend for the job. > > > Jacquie used to have a cat pee frying pan. Don't know if she still does... > > Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 Mine is an ex-sailor. He claims that his mornals and common sense were taken away in boot camp. I am sure he will kick Lou in the head for us and not feal guilty. Georga Hackworth Enter to win $50 worth of free books www.ubah.com/F1549 Re: Christian duty... In a message dated 1/24/03 1:06:56 PM Eastern Standard Time, bunnytiner@... writes: > Although I am not TOTALLY sure that that would be a Christian act.... > > Salli > ok then I'll let my husband do it. He's a healthen anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 > > " Honour thy father and thy mother " , asshole. > > Jacquie OMG!! Even Jacquie is quoting!!! Salli, this is big, you absolutely can not give anything to Lou! Lightning will strike!! Jacquie, I am in awe from this post! Sue, Who is hoping it's taken with the levity it is being said with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 I think that Lou should wait out in the car like the rest of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 If he can't work it out, he can > get a second shift at Mcs. They will probably even feed him. LOL!!!! I like what Dr. Phil says: " You can't solve money problems with money " (the behavior needs to be changed) ~ Karin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 > No one said I had to take in her furry ass when we seen that she was up for adoption. We could have left her there. Some thanks I get. < man, georga. you need to teach that cat some manners. how rude of her to not be thankful " Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 Cats are life support systmes for fur. This ome more so than some of the others. She could at least be thankful for be brought in out of the cold this winter where she didn't freeze to death. But no, she won't even be sociable. She just sits behind the fridge and craps herself. When she is outside she is the perfect cat. Comes for attention and everything. She is mental Georga Hackworth Enter to win $50 worth of free books www.ubah.com/F1549 Re: Re: Christian duty... > No one said I had to take in her furry ass when we seen that she was up for adoption. We could have left her there. Some thanks I get. < man, georga. you need to teach that cat some manners. how rude of her to not be thankful " Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 How much responsibility do I owe to him so that he can keep his pride and not depend too much on public services? > > Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man anyway? > None. As in not at all. He made his bed, he can lie in it. His actions were made voluntarily by himself with no coercion or force being applied. He is culpable and should be held accountable to the choices that hes made. You don't owe him anything. He is trying to be manipulative and controlling instead of accepting responsiblity for his actions. You are not responsible for his choices or needs, you have five children and yourself to care for. If he needs help he can go ask for it from a community based resource, and serving a little community service would be good for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 > Said he couldn't take the big boys to their work out because he had no gas. < he should be FULL of gas with all that hot air he's got " Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 >>>>>>>>>> Then he says, " I wish you'd help out on this divorce stuff. Why is it taking so long? " >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Lou is an ass. >>>>>>>>>>>>> " What, " he asked, " Have I done? " >>>>>>>>>>>>>> A complete ass. >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man anyway? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> What about his " Christian duty " to you and the kids? Or does he think it only goes one way? What an ass. Tuna ===== You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - lin P. ______________________________________________________________________ Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2003 Report Share Posted January 24, 2003 By any chance do you think Lou is an ass? LOL! Georga Hackworth Enter to win $50 worth of free books www.ubah.com/F1549 Re: Christian duty... >>>>>>>>>> Then he says, " I wish you'd help out on this divorce stuff. Why is it taking so long? " >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Lou is an ass. >>>>>>>>>>>>> " What, " he asked, " Have I done? " >>>>>>>>>>>>>> A complete ass. >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man anyway? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> What about his " Christian duty " to you and the kids? Or does he think it only goes one way? What an ass. Tuna ===== You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - lin P. ______________________________________________________________________ Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2003 Report Share Posted January 25, 2003 > He asked me if I was raising the kids as Christians and if I didn't think it set a good example to them to see that I shared my resources with needier people. > > I was growing irritated with this and I said, " You know this is all basically your own doing, " words which I have never before spoken to him, but which I have long wanted to say. > > But, no, apparently I am wrong. " What, " he asked, " Have I done? The only reason I am in this position is that I put the good of the family ahead of myself and took the whole burden of the family on my back alone. " Oh, puh-leeeeeze. > I felt tired and angry, but I simply said, " I will not discuss this anymore. Good-bye " and hung up. good for you!!!!!! Oh my goodness, Good for you!!!! >Just how much Christian duty do I owe to this man anyway? IMHO, you've already filled that cup to overflowing. OTOH, I'm not Christian. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2003 Report Share Posted January 25, 2003 > They have expressly forbidden me to give him money > and it is THEIR money. > > When I pointed this out to Lou, he just said, " Well, it is a matter of what > is the right thing to do. Sometimes your Christian duty means you listen to > your heart. " " Honour thy father and thy mother " , asshole. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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