Re: A Confession....

July 7, 2003

Hi Alison,

I don't anything about endometriosis, but that sounds like a pretty

tough decision to me. You are the one going through it all, and you

have to live with your decision, so you do what feels right to you.

July 7, 2003

Hi Alison,

I don't anything about endometriosis, but that sounds like a pretty

tough decision to me. You are the one going through it all, and you

have to live with your decision, so you do what feels right to you.

July 7, 2003

Hi Alison,

I don't anything about endometriosis, but that sounds like a pretty

tough decision to me. You are the one going through it all, and you

have to live with your decision, so you do what feels right to you.

July 7, 2003

Hi Alison - my confession is that this is my first time responding to a

mail from this group (hi all). Speaking as someone who is having

surgery in a few weeks and as a Mom who has 2 daughters, I can

understand what you are going through. I am lucky in that I don¡Çt know

the pain of endometriosis¡Ä I am so sorry you are going through this. I

have had In Vitro Fertilization though, so I do understand fertility

issues. While the jaw surgery is a medical necessity, for me it¡Çs also

something I am doing for myself (it¡Çs so hard to admit there are

cosmetic reasons for doing this as well, but there are). A lot of Moms

I know have a hard time doing things just for themselves¡Ä maybe

that¡Çs

your quandary¡Ä the jaw surgery is something purely for you¡Ä. and

that¡Çs ok. Moms are racked with too much guilt¡Ä to have my

surgery, I

am going to stop nursing my daughter sooner than I probably would

otherwise and when I let myself, I feel pretty guilty about it. But

like you, this is something I¡Çve been planning for a while and the time

is now. Are you at the point in your orthodontic treatment that surgery

needs to take place in the next month? How long do you need to wait

between surgeries?

Good luck and take care of yourself.

A Confession....

In additional to jaw surgery, I have needed another surgery for the

past year, a laparoscopy for endometriosis (for anyone not familiar,

it is basically a scope inserted into the abdomen and a laser is used

to remove the endometriosis). My pain is intermittent with this

issue, but yesterday, I spent an hour in bed crying from the pain.

So here's my confession, I want to have my jaw surgery first, and it

has been my main focus for the past year. Maybe it has to do with

wearing braces, maybe it's because I've wanted it for 15 years. I

don't know the reason but I do know this, my family IS NOT happy with

me at all. My mother and husband both told me yesterday that I need

to forget the jaw surgery and get the other issue taken care of first

and foremost.

Logically I know they are probably right. We already have two

children but the other issue could be affecting my fertility. I

can't even justify in my own mind why the jaw surgery has been my

main focus but I'm sure there is some deep psychological reason. I'm

going to have upper and lower to correct an overbite, overjet and

cross bite.

Well, thanks for listening.

Alison

July 7, 2003

Hi ,

You are so right, a lot of my issue has to do with guilt. Moms are

always racked with that.

The jaw surgery is something that I'm doing for me, it was something

ignored by may parents when I was an adolescent and something I've

always wanted. The endometriosis is a different story.

Good news is, I just got back from my oral surgeon. He gave me the

option of scheduling my jaw surgery for either the first week in

August or the last week. I'm going to discuss with my husband

tonight and decide. So here's where the good news comes in, I only

have to wait two weeks between surgeries if I decide to go ahead with

both.

The issue is with my family having a problem with this, they think

jaw surgery is unnecessary and don't understand why I would

ever " choose " to do this. On the 4th, everyone ganged up on me at

our family barbeque. I asked them how they would feel if only six of

their teeth met together for chewing? The response from my brother-

in-law was he wouldn't chew at all if it meant having to do this

surgery. I've come to realize that they will NEVER come around on

this. My husband has stopped making negative comments but he's still

not supporting this decision. Especially when he thinks that getting

the other issue (laparoscopy) taken care of should be my focus.

Thanks for your response. It helps to know I'm not the only one out

there still riddled with guilt over this!! When is your surgery?

Alison

> Hi Alison - my confession is that this is my first time responding

to a

> mail from this group (hi all). Speaking as someone who is having

> surgery in a few weeks and as a Mom who has 2 daughters, I can

> understand what you are going through. I am lucky in that I don¡Çt

know

> the pain of endometriosis¡Ä I am so sorry you are going through

this. I

> have had In Vitro Fertilization though, so I do understand fertility

> issues. While the jaw surgery is a medical necessity, for me it¡Çs

also

> something I am doing for myself (it¡Çs so hard to admit there are

> cosmetic reasons for doing this as well, but there are). A lot of

Moms

> I know have a hard time doing things just for themselves¡Ä maybe

that¡Çs

> your quandary¡Ä the jaw surgery is something purely for you¡Ä. and

> that¡Çs ok. Moms are racked with too much guilt¡Ä to have my

surgery, I

> am going to stop nursing my daughter sooner than I probably would

> otherwise and when I let myself, I feel pretty guilty about it. But

> like you, this is something I¡Çve been planning for a while and the

time

> is now. Are you at the point in your orthodontic treatment that

surgery

> needs to take place in the next month? How long do you need to wait

> between surgeries?

>

> Good luck and take care of yourself.

>

> A Confession....

>

> In additional to jaw surgery, I have needed another surgery for the

> past year, a laparoscopy for endometriosis (for anyone not

familiar,

> it is basically a scope inserted into the abdomen and a laser is

used

> to remove the endometriosis). My pain is intermittent with this

> issue, but yesterday, I spent an hour in bed crying from the pain.

> So here's my confession, I want to have my jaw surgery first, and

it

> has been my main focus for the past year. Maybe it has to do with

> wearing braces, maybe it's because I've wanted it for 15 years. I

> don't know the reason but I do know this, my family IS NOT happy

with

> me at all. My mother and husband both told me yesterday that I

need

> to forget the jaw surgery and get the other issue taken care of

first

> and foremost.

>

> Logically I know they are probably right. We already have two

> children but the other issue could be affecting my fertility. I

> can't even justify in my own mind why the jaw surgery has been my

> main focus but I'm sure there is some deep psychological reason.

I'm

> going to have upper and lower to correct an overbite, overjet and

> cross bite.

>

> Well, thanks for listening.

>

> Alison

>

July 7, 2003

Alison,

I am so sorry to hear that your family is not supporting you in

this. I have come to learn how important it is to have support and

how lucky I am that all of my family and friends are there for me.

Even my mother who I think belives I am crazy to do this is driving

from Texas to Alabama to take care of me and my kids.

Has you husband gone to the doctor with you? This seems to have

changed other peoples outlook on your decision. I know another girl

on the board said her mom (I think) changed her tune when she went to

the surgeon with her and heard what was needed. Maybe also if you

take care of the endometriosis first, your husband will have a

different outlook on the whole thing. I am sure he is just scared

for you and believes the best way to protect you is to tell you not

to do it.

I am sure there are post-oppers here that can add to this, but I am

thinking that during recovery you probably don't want any of these

negative people around you.

Good luck with whatever you decide and come here anytime you need

support.

> > Hi Alison - my confession is that this is my first time

responding

> to a

> > mail from this group (hi all). Speaking as someone who is having

> > surgery in a few weeks and as a Mom who has 2 daughters, I can

> > understand what you are going through. I am lucky in that I

don¡Çt

> know

> > the pain of endometriosis¡Ä I am so sorry you are going through

> this. I

> > have had In Vitro Fertilization though, so I do understand

fertility

> > issues. While the jaw surgery is a medical necessity, for me

it¡Çs

> also

> > something I am doing for myself (it¡Çs so hard to admit there are

> > cosmetic reasons for doing this as well, but there are). A lot

of

> Moms

> > I know have a hard time doing things just for themselves¡Ä maybe

> that¡Çs

> > your quandary¡Ä the jaw surgery is something purely for you¡Ä. and

> > that¡Çs ok. Moms are racked with too much guilt¡Ä to have my

> surgery, I

> > am going to stop nursing my daughter sooner than I probably would

> > otherwise and when I let myself, I feel pretty guilty about it.

But

> > like you, this is something I¡Çve been planning for a while and

the

> time

> > is now. Are you at the point in your orthodontic treatment that

> surgery

> > needs to take place in the next month? How long do you need to

wait

> > between surgeries?

> >

> > Good luck and take care of yourself.

> >

July 7, 2003

Alison,

I am so sorry to hear that your family is not supporting you in

this. I have come to learn how important it is to have support and

how lucky I am that all of my family and friends are there for me.

Even my mother who I think belives I am crazy to do this is driving

from Texas to Alabama to take care of me and my kids.

Has you husband gone to the doctor with you? This seems to have

changed other peoples outlook on your decision. I know another girl

on the board said her mom (I think) changed her tune when she went to

the surgeon with her and heard what was needed. Maybe also if you

take care of the endometriosis first, your husband will have a

different outlook on the whole thing. I am sure he is just scared

for you and believes the best way to protect you is to tell you not

to do it.

I am sure there are post-oppers here that can add to this, but I am

thinking that during recovery you probably don't want any of these

negative people around you.

Good luck with whatever you decide and come here anytime you need

support.

> > Hi Alison - my confession is that this is my first time

responding

> to a

> > mail from this group (hi all). Speaking as someone who is having

> > surgery in a few weeks and as a Mom who has 2 daughters, I can

> > understand what you are going through. I am lucky in that I

don¡Çt

> know

> > the pain of endometriosis¡Ä I am so sorry you are going through

> this. I

> > have had In Vitro Fertilization though, so I do understand

fertility

> > issues. While the jaw surgery is a medical necessity, for me

it¡Çs

> also

> > something I am doing for myself (it¡Çs so hard to admit there are

> > cosmetic reasons for doing this as well, but there are). A lot

of

> Moms

> > I know have a hard time doing things just for themselves¡Ä maybe

> that¡Çs

> > your quandary¡Ä the jaw surgery is something purely for you¡Ä. and

> > that¡Çs ok. Moms are racked with too much guilt¡Ä to have my

> surgery, I

> > am going to stop nursing my daughter sooner than I probably would

> > otherwise and when I let myself, I feel pretty guilty about it.

But

> > like you, this is something I¡Çve been planning for a while and

the

> time

> > is now. Are you at the point in your orthodontic treatment that

> surgery

> > needs to take place in the next month? How long do you need to

wait

> > between surgeries?

> >

> > Good luck and take care of yourself.

> >

July 7, 2003

Alison,

I am so sorry to hear that your family is not supporting you in

this. I have come to learn how important it is to have support and

how lucky I am that all of my family and friends are there for me.

Even my mother who I think belives I am crazy to do this is driving

from Texas to Alabama to take care of me and my kids.

Has you husband gone to the doctor with you? This seems to have

changed other peoples outlook on your decision. I know another girl

on the board said her mom (I think) changed her tune when she went to

the surgeon with her and heard what was needed. Maybe also if you

take care of the endometriosis first, your husband will have a

different outlook on the whole thing. I am sure he is just scared

for you and believes the best way to protect you is to tell you not

to do it.

I am sure there are post-oppers here that can add to this, but I am

thinking that during recovery you probably don't want any of these

negative people around you.

Good luck with whatever you decide and come here anytime you need

support.

> > Hi Alison - my confession is that this is my first time

responding

> to a

> > mail from this group (hi all). Speaking as someone who is having

> > surgery in a few weeks and as a Mom who has 2 daughters, I can

> > understand what you are going through. I am lucky in that I

don¡Çt

> know

> > the pain of endometriosis¡Ä I am so sorry you are going through

> this. I

> > have had In Vitro Fertilization though, so I do understand

fertility

> > issues. While the jaw surgery is a medical necessity, for me

it¡Çs

> also

> > something I am doing for myself (it¡Çs so hard to admit there are

> > cosmetic reasons for doing this as well, but there are). A lot

of

> Moms

> > I know have a hard time doing things just for themselves¡Ä maybe

> that¡Çs

> > your quandary¡Ä the jaw surgery is something purely for you¡Ä. and

> > that¡Çs ok. Moms are racked with too much guilt¡Ä to have my

> surgery, I

> > am going to stop nursing my daughter sooner than I probably would

> > otherwise and when I let myself, I feel pretty guilty about it.

But

> > like you, this is something I¡Çve been planning for a while and

the

> time

> > is now. Are you at the point in your orthodontic treatment that

> surgery

> > needs to take place in the next month? How long do you need to

wait

> > between surgeries?

> >

> > Good luck and take care of yourself.

> >

July 7, 2003

Hi Alison,

Also too watch your use of language, too often we say things like

well 'I am having this done'. Try things like my surgeon said that

with a class three mandibular malocclusion the only thing they can

do is a BSSO. A woman in my mother's group tried to tell me today -

get ready - all I needed was a mouth guard! People don't get that

braces fix crooked teeth, surgery fixes crooked jaws. Carry a

brochure with gruesome photos

Try me, I had perfectly straight teeth, no one understood why the

braces then surgery!LOL. I too thought this is going to be simple

braces! Until the ortho looked at me and said on no honey you are

going to need surgery!

My dh was supportive - more cause I didn't make him do the braces!

And is still supportive as I consider # 3, as only 4 of my teeth

touch now, I went from crossbite/overbite to a pretty good bite and

an open bite with some other issues. (my chin is off and muscle

problems)

Also too cause people have sympathy thinking its 'hard to be a mom

with little kids' and you are doing what to yourself?

Unless you've lived with jaw issues you don't understand the

annoyance, headaches etc. Yeah but you've probably had a friend who

got a boob job and no one grills them the same way!

Relax don't expect understanding it doesn't come.

And like the mom today (with major overbite, vampire fangs) told me

that a night guard would have done better than the surgery -

you just smile and say wow (and in your mind think crap why did my

surgeon waste all that time in med school when a piece of plastic

would do the same -lol)

That and also because you are doing this people might think you are

judging their bad teeth. My sister had issues with it as her hubby

has crooked teeth! LOL and her's aren't so hot.

And don't use the term dental surgery!

Try maxfillio surgeon!

Shiloh also another alison

July 7, 2003

Hi Alison,

Also too watch your use of language, too often we say things like

well 'I am having this done'. Try things like my surgeon said that

with a class three mandibular malocclusion the only thing they can

do is a BSSO. A woman in my mother's group tried to tell me today -

get ready - all I needed was a mouth guard! People don't get that

braces fix crooked teeth, surgery fixes crooked jaws. Carry a

brochure with gruesome photos

Try me, I had perfectly straight teeth, no one understood why the

braces then surgery!LOL. I too thought this is going to be simple

braces! Until the ortho looked at me and said on no honey you are

going to need surgery!

My dh was supportive - more cause I didn't make him do the braces!

And is still supportive as I consider # 3, as only 4 of my teeth

touch now, I went from crossbite/overbite to a pretty good bite and

an open bite with some other issues. (my chin is off and muscle

problems)

Also too cause people have sympathy thinking its 'hard to be a mom

with little kids' and you are doing what to yourself?

Unless you've lived with jaw issues you don't understand the

annoyance, headaches etc. Yeah but you've probably had a friend who

got a boob job and no one grills them the same way!

Relax don't expect understanding it doesn't come.

And like the mom today (with major overbite, vampire fangs) told me

that a night guard would have done better than the surgery -

you just smile and say wow (and in your mind think crap why did my

surgeon waste all that time in med school when a piece of plastic

would do the same -lol)

That and also because you are doing this people might think you are

judging their bad teeth. My sister had issues with it as her hubby

has crooked teeth! LOL and her's aren't so hot.

And don't use the term dental surgery!

Try maxfillio surgeon!

Shiloh also another alison

July 7, 2003

Thanks . They've been like this for the past year. My husband

has gone to all of my appointments with me...amazingly. He also has

two friends who are oral surgeons...even more amazing! His hang-ups

are complicated and I don't understand them, but he has refrained

from saying anything negative and has assured me he will be there

through every step of my recovery, which I'm sure he will. It's just

the time leading up that he is incapable of providing the emotional

support I need.

They are all completely supportive when it comes to other health

issues, jaw surgery is a very difficult thing for most people to

understand. Those who've been through it are different, thank

goodness my good friend had it done years ago. She's been great.

And so has everyone on this board! I notice your Aggie e-mail, are

you originally from Texas? I am in Dallas.

Take care,

Alison

> > > Hi Alison - my confession is that this is my first time

> responding

> > to a

> > > mail from this group (hi all). Speaking as someone who is

having

> > > surgery in a few weeks and as a Mom who has 2 daughters, I can

> > > understand what you are going through. I am lucky in that I

> don¡Çt

> > know

> > > the pain of endometriosis¡Ä I am so sorry you are going through

> > this. I

> > > have had In Vitro Fertilization though, so I do understand

> fertility

> > > issues. While the jaw surgery is a medical necessity, for me

> it¡Çs

> > also

> > > something I am doing for myself (it¡Çs so hard to admit there

are

> > > cosmetic reasons for doing this as well, but there are). A lot

> of

> > Moms

> > > I know have a hard time doing things just for themselves¡Ä

maybe

> > that¡Çs

> > > your quandary¡Ä the jaw surgery is something purely for you¡Ä.

and

> > > that¡Çs ok. Moms are racked with too much guilt¡Ä to have my

> > surgery, I

> > > am going to stop nursing my daughter sooner than I probably

would

> > > otherwise and when I let myself, I feel pretty guilty about

it.

> But

> > > like you, this is something I¡Çve been planning for a while and

> the

> > time

> > > is now. Are you at the point in your orthodontic treatment

that

> > surgery

> > > needs to take place in the next month? How long do you need to

> wait

> > > between surgeries?

> > >

> > > Good luck and take care of yourself.

> > >

July 7, 2003

Thanks . They've been like this for the past year. My husband

has gone to all of my appointments with me...amazingly. He also has

two friends who are oral surgeons...even more amazing! His hang-ups

are complicated and I don't understand them, but he has refrained

from saying anything negative and has assured me he will be there

through every step of my recovery, which I'm sure he will. It's just

the time leading up that he is incapable of providing the emotional

support I need.

They are all completely supportive when it comes to other health

issues, jaw surgery is a very difficult thing for most people to

understand. Those who've been through it are different, thank

goodness my good friend had it done years ago. She's been great.

And so has everyone on this board! I notice your Aggie e-mail, are

you originally from Texas? I am in Dallas.

Take care,

Alison

> > > Hi Alison - my confession is that this is my first time

> responding

> > to a

> > > mail from this group (hi all). Speaking as someone who is

having

> > > surgery in a few weeks and as a Mom who has 2 daughters, I can

> > > understand what you are going through. I am lucky in that I

> don¡Çt

> > know

> > > the pain of endometriosis¡Ä I am so sorry you are going through

> > this. I

> > > have had In Vitro Fertilization though, so I do understand

> fertility

> > > issues. While the jaw surgery is a medical necessity, for me

> it¡Çs

> > also

> > > something I am doing for myself (it¡Çs so hard to admit there

are

> > > cosmetic reasons for doing this as well, but there are). A lot

> of

> > Moms

> > > I know have a hard time doing things just for themselves¡Ä

maybe

> > that¡Çs

> > > your quandary¡Ä the jaw surgery is something purely for you¡Ä.

and

> > > that¡Çs ok. Moms are racked with too much guilt¡Ä to have my

> > surgery, I

> > > am going to stop nursing my daughter sooner than I probably

would

> > > otherwise and when I let myself, I feel pretty guilty about

it.

> But

> > > like you, this is something I¡Çve been planning for a while and

> the

> > time

> > > is now. Are you at the point in your orthodontic treatment

that

> > surgery

> > > needs to take place in the next month? How long do you need to

> wait

> > > between surgeries?

> > >

> > > Good luck and take care of yourself.

> > >

July 7, 2003

Thanks . They've been like this for the past year. My husband

has gone to all of my appointments with me...amazingly. He also has

two friends who are oral surgeons...even more amazing! His hang-ups

are complicated and I don't understand them, but he has refrained

from saying anything negative and has assured me he will be there

through every step of my recovery, which I'm sure he will. It's just

the time leading up that he is incapable of providing the emotional

support I need.

They are all completely supportive when it comes to other health

issues, jaw surgery is a very difficult thing for most people to

understand. Those who've been through it are different, thank

goodness my good friend had it done years ago. She's been great.

And so has everyone on this board! I notice your Aggie e-mail, are

you originally from Texas? I am in Dallas.

Take care,

Alison

> > > Hi Alison - my confession is that this is my first time

> responding

> > to a

> > > mail from this group (hi all). Speaking as someone who is

having

> > > surgery in a few weeks and as a Mom who has 2 daughters, I can

> > > understand what you are going through. I am lucky in that I

> don¡Çt

> > know

> > > the pain of endometriosis¡Ä I am so sorry you are going through

> > this. I

> > > have had In Vitro Fertilization though, so I do understand

> fertility

> > > issues. While the jaw surgery is a medical necessity, for me

> it¡Çs

> > also

> > > something I am doing for myself (it¡Çs so hard to admit there

are

> > > cosmetic reasons for doing this as well, but there are). A lot

> of

> > Moms

> > > I know have a hard time doing things just for themselves¡Ä

maybe

> > that¡Çs

> > > your quandary¡Ä the jaw surgery is something purely for you¡Ä.

and

> > > that¡Çs ok. Moms are racked with too much guilt¡Ä to have my

> > surgery, I

> > > am going to stop nursing my daughter sooner than I probably

would

> > > otherwise and when I let myself, I feel pretty guilty about

it.

> But

> > > like you, this is something I¡Çve been planning for a while and

> the

> > time

> > > is now. Are you at the point in your orthodontic treatment

that

> > surgery

> > > needs to take place in the next month? How long do you need to

> wait

> > > between surgeries?

> > >

> > > Good luck and take care of yourself.

> > >

July 7, 2003

LOL!! Yeah, I do have a friend that got a boob job and she didn't

tell ANYONE in her family beforehand, they just had to deal with the

new her. Maybe I should've tried that approach??

Thanks for the advice! I'm learning to let it roll off a little

better. They will just have to deal.

> Hi Alison,

> Also too watch your use of language, too often we say things like

> well 'I am having this done'. Try things like my surgeon said that

> with a class three mandibular malocclusion the only thing they can

> do is a BSSO. A woman in my mother's group tried to tell me today -

> get ready - all I needed was a mouth guard! People don't get that

> braces fix crooked teeth, surgery fixes crooked jaws. Carry a

> brochure with gruesome photos

>

> Try me, I had perfectly straight teeth, no one understood why the

> braces then surgery!LOL. I too thought this is going to be simple

> braces! Until the ortho looked at me and said on no honey you are

> going to need surgery!

>

> My dh was supportive - more cause I didn't make him do the braces!

> And is still supportive as I consider # 3, as only 4 of my teeth

> touch now, I went from crossbite/overbite to a pretty good bite and

> an open bite with some other issues. (my chin is off and muscle

> problems)

>

> Also too cause people have sympathy thinking its 'hard to be a mom

> with little kids' and you are doing what to yourself?

>

> Unless you've lived with jaw issues you don't understand the

> annoyance, headaches etc. Yeah but you've probably had a friend

who

> got a boob job and no one grills them the same way!

>

> Relax don't expect understanding it doesn't come.

> And like the mom today (with major overbite, vampire fangs) told me

> that a night guard would have done better than the surgery -

> you just smile and say wow (and in your mind think crap why did my

> surgeon waste all that time in med school when a piece of plastic

> would do the same -lol)

>

> That and also because you are doing this people might think you are

> judging their bad teeth. My sister had issues with it as her hubby

> has crooked teeth! LOL and her's aren't so hot.

>

> And don't use the term dental surgery!

> Try maxfillio surgeon!

> Shiloh also another alison

July 7, 2003

LOL!! Yeah, I do have a friend that got a boob job and she didn't

tell ANYONE in her family beforehand, they just had to deal with the

new her. Maybe I should've tried that approach??

Thanks for the advice! I'm learning to let it roll off a little

better. They will just have to deal.

> Hi Alison,

> Also too watch your use of language, too often we say things like

> well 'I am having this done'. Try things like my surgeon said that

> with a class three mandibular malocclusion the only thing they can

> do is a BSSO. A woman in my mother's group tried to tell me today -

> get ready - all I needed was a mouth guard! People don't get that

> braces fix crooked teeth, surgery fixes crooked jaws. Carry a

> brochure with gruesome photos

>

> Try me, I had perfectly straight teeth, no one understood why the

> braces then surgery!LOL. I too thought this is going to be simple

> braces! Until the ortho looked at me and said on no honey you are

> going to need surgery!

>

> My dh was supportive - more cause I didn't make him do the braces!

> And is still supportive as I consider # 3, as only 4 of my teeth

> touch now, I went from crossbite/overbite to a pretty good bite and

> an open bite with some other issues. (my chin is off and muscle

> problems)

>

> Also too cause people have sympathy thinking its 'hard to be a mom

> with little kids' and you are doing what to yourself?

>

> Unless you've lived with jaw issues you don't understand the

> annoyance, headaches etc. Yeah but you've probably had a friend

who

> got a boob job and no one grills them the same way!

>

> Relax don't expect understanding it doesn't come.

> And like the mom today (with major overbite, vampire fangs) told me

> that a night guard would have done better than the surgery -

> you just smile and say wow (and in your mind think crap why did my

> surgeon waste all that time in med school when a piece of plastic

> would do the same -lol)

>

> That and also because you are doing this people might think you are

> judging their bad teeth. My sister had issues with it as her hubby

> has crooked teeth! LOL and her's aren't so hot.

>

> And don't use the term dental surgery!

> Try maxfillio surgeon!

> Shiloh also another alison

July 7, 2003

LOL!! Yeah, I do have a friend that got a boob job and she didn't

tell ANYONE in her family beforehand, they just had to deal with the

new her. Maybe I should've tried that approach??

Thanks for the advice! I'm learning to let it roll off a little

better. They will just have to deal.

> Hi Alison,

> Also too watch your use of language, too often we say things like

> well 'I am having this done'. Try things like my surgeon said that

> with a class three mandibular malocclusion the only thing they can

> do is a BSSO. A woman in my mother's group tried to tell me today -

> get ready - all I needed was a mouth guard! People don't get that

> braces fix crooked teeth, surgery fixes crooked jaws. Carry a

> brochure with gruesome photos

>

> Try me, I had perfectly straight teeth, no one understood why the

> braces then surgery!LOL. I too thought this is going to be simple

> braces! Until the ortho looked at me and said on no honey you are

> going to need surgery!

>

> My dh was supportive - more cause I didn't make him do the braces!

> And is still supportive as I consider # 3, as only 4 of my teeth

> touch now, I went from crossbite/overbite to a pretty good bite and

> an open bite with some other issues. (my chin is off and muscle

> problems)

>

> Also too cause people have sympathy thinking its 'hard to be a mom

> with little kids' and you are doing what to yourself?

>

> Unless you've lived with jaw issues you don't understand the

> annoyance, headaches etc. Yeah but you've probably had a friend

who

> got a boob job and no one grills them the same way!

>

> Relax don't expect understanding it doesn't come.

> And like the mom today (with major overbite, vampire fangs) told me

> that a night guard would have done better than the surgery -

> you just smile and say wow (and in your mind think crap why did my

> surgeon waste all that time in med school when a piece of plastic

> would do the same -lol)

>

> That and also because you are doing this people might think you are

> judging their bad teeth. My sister had issues with it as her hubby

> has crooked teeth! LOL and her's aren't so hot.

>

> And don't use the term dental surgery!

> Try maxfillio surgeon!

> Shiloh also another alison

July 7, 2003

LOL!! Yeah, I do have a friend that got a boob job and she didn't

tell ANYONE in her family beforehand, they just had to deal with the

new her. Maybe I should've tried that approach??

Thanks for the advice! I'm learning to let it roll off a little

better. They will just have to deal.

=I am getting my septum done soon, you think I am going to tell

ANYONE I am having a nose job -lol as if.

Call it reconstructive surgery!

Also just say it was my surgeon's decision as this is a medical

proceedure and I don't have a degree in medicine so I leave it in

the hands of the experts. I think people are so insta experts, oh

you think that's your fan belt sounds like the alternator to me..

from someone who's never popped their hood!

I think I will follow my own advice and keep my surgery musings to

my dh and this board. If you think about it in 2 years I will have

gone through braces, jaw surgery and a 'nose job' (nothing cosmetic

but my septum comes through the tip of my nose on one side!)

Or you take the opposite approach.

oh cause i am so worth it honey

shilho

July 7, 2003

LOL!! Yeah, I do have a friend that got a boob job and she didn't

tell ANYONE in her family beforehand, they just had to deal with the

new her. Maybe I should've tried that approach??

Thanks for the advice! I'm learning to let it roll off a little

better. They will just have to deal.

=I am getting my septum done soon, you think I am going to tell

ANYONE I am having a nose job -lol as if.

Call it reconstructive surgery!

Also just say it was my surgeon's decision as this is a medical

proceedure and I don't have a degree in medicine so I leave it in

the hands of the experts. I think people are so insta experts, oh

you think that's your fan belt sounds like the alternator to me..

from someone who's never popped their hood!

I think I will follow my own advice and keep my surgery musings to

my dh and this board. If you think about it in 2 years I will have

gone through braces, jaw surgery and a 'nose job' (nothing cosmetic

but my septum comes through the tip of my nose on one side!)

Or you take the opposite approach.

oh cause i am so worth it honey

shilho

July 7, 2003

LOL!! Yeah, I do have a friend that got a boob job and she didn't

tell ANYONE in her family beforehand, they just had to deal with the

new her. Maybe I should've tried that approach??

Thanks for the advice! I'm learning to let it roll off a little

better. They will just have to deal.

=I am getting my septum done soon, you think I am going to tell

ANYONE I am having a nose job -lol as if.

Call it reconstructive surgery!

Also just say it was my surgeon's decision as this is a medical

proceedure and I don't have a degree in medicine so I leave it in

the hands of the experts. I think people are so insta experts, oh

you think that's your fan belt sounds like the alternator to me..

from someone who's never popped their hood!

I think I will follow my own advice and keep my surgery musings to

my dh and this board. If you think about it in 2 years I will have

gone through braces, jaw surgery and a 'nose job' (nothing cosmetic

but my septum comes through the tip of my nose on one side!)

Or you take the opposite approach.

oh cause i am so worth it honey

shilho

July 8, 2003

Ohhh, geez. I just wish that folks (and that includes family) could

find a way to be supportive of their loved ones in their time of need.

Why is it important to rank the surgeries in order of importance? You

apparently need repairs in two areas, and if you and your doctors are

in agreement about the sequence in which things should happen, that

would be good enough for me. And aren't you fortunate that one does

not contradict the other! THEN you and yours might have to make a

choice. And especially are you fortunate if you have insurance or

other provisions that will cover the financial aspects.

Hey, guilt, I believe, is seldom a productive feeling. Try as best

you can to ditch it, and get on with living and enjoying those you

love. Including yourself.

You are blessed with -- is it two? -- children you apparently very

much want, and you may want more. (I do not have a clue about the

threat from laparascopy, or not doing laparascopy, to fertility;

sorry. I do know that it can make some surgical procedures soooo much

easier for the patient that it is truly a miracle of modern medicine,

when it can be used.) But there are also sooo many children in this

world (and in this country; probably in the block across the street

from me) who desperately need homes and parents and families to care

for them and help them. There will never be a shortage.

I do think that the jaw surgery tends to evoke a lot of worry,

anxiety, guilt and other complicated emotions. It does take a lot of

time and expense to get ready for it. And it affects not only the way

your body functions, but the way you eat, talk, look and feel while

you are in recovery (and sometimes longer). I think all families and

friends fear all surgeries on those they love, but perhaps this is

even more threatening, because there can be a back-of-the-brain worry

that the patient will look different (and feel different about

himself or herself) and perhaps change the nature of the relationship

as it has existed.

If your brother-in-law was serious about his remark about never

chewing again, I fail to respect his judgment, and doubt that he's

ever had a serious moment of difficulty in doing so. My childhood

dentist's only advice when he heard I was going into the braces again

(He'd helped care for me when I had them as a child; is now retired)

was, " Take care of the teeth God gave you; they're the best you'll

ever have, and anything else is a damned poor second choice. " I

believe him.

I hope all this settles out for you, and that your family will be

supportive, or that you have friends who will do their job, with

respect to both procedures..

best,

Cammie

July 8, 2003