Guest guest Posted January 8, 2001 Report Share Posted January 8, 2001 I have only gone to 2 meetings in the last 3 months or so. My last one was about 2 weeks ago. Something similar happened to me. When i walked in someone made a comment like " welcome back " .....I just said....gee thanks. Went about my way. Then someone else asked me if everything was o.k? You know with that look like maybe I was in danger of drinking or something. I said of course. Thanks. Then another knucklehead comes along and says....hey Pat we were starting to think maybe you were cured. I got kind of embarrassed with that one because he said it out loud. I just sat there and didn't say anything. I guess he realized I was a bit peeved. Later I thought that I probably should have said yeah...as a matter of fact I am. It would have been a sight to probably get his reaction to that. Anyhow I've come to realize these peoples lifelines are meetings. If they were to think that I am staying sober just fine and not going to meetings than it sort of crushes their belief that meetings are essential to staying sober. I can never expect to go to a meeting and not have to deal with this nonsense. So the best way for me to deal with it is not to deal with it by not going. > Hi all, > I have written once or twice after reading some of the posts, but after > Saturday night, my mind has definietly been made up. > I went to a 12 step (AA) meeting here in town and seen some older mebers from > another group I once attended on a regular basis. Anyways, there were about > 20 people there and I was doing the usual (making coffee, chatting with those > I hadnt seen in a while) and then comes in the AA Nazis from the other group > and the older lady said, " Well, my, my, I can't believe my eyes, it's > Jeannie. Where in the world have you been? " I said, (knowing full well if > she had not seen me at meetings its because I had not been going to > meetings.) But I said, " Well Sue, I have cut down on my meetings lately. " > Needless to say, I was the topic of the meeting that evening. Soon as I said > that she said Oh shit honey, I see a relapse coming for you honey---I have > picked up on my meetings. I said that is great Sue, if that is what you need > to do for yourself. She said no honey, You aint no different from me or > anyone else sitting around this table. I was shocked. > Anyhow to make a long story short this Nazi with 20 or 30 something years > sober is sitting right beside me and brings up the topic of meetings and how > when she hears someone with 5 years say they cut back on meetings she KNOWS > they are going to get drunk. Yada yada yada. And of course all eyes were on > me and I sat and watch the other people and it reminded me of those little > doggies in the back of windows years ago where their head bobbed up and > down--that is what all these other people were doing--sitting there nodding > there head as to say un huh!! > As I sat there and held my ground on what I thought it occured to me--I don't > need this shit. On Thursday even my therapist said (and he used to go to > meetings himself)--AA doesn't allow a person to grow out of their meetings. > It is a control issue. And I agree now 100%. > Guess it took a room full of people looking at me and one old lady with her 2 > sidekicks who cliam to have 30-35 yrs. sober to humiliate and embarrass me > for me to finally figure out the truth. > I also think it is a damn shame for someone to have 30+ years and say they > still have to go a meeting every single night of the week--sometimes 2. > But I didnt speak out and try and shame her or anyone else. I knew in my > heart my prayers have been answered. It was a tough choice for me because in > the beginning AA did save my life and I know that. But I also know since I > have stayed sober and went to therapy for the past 2 and 1/2 years, I have > uncovered the reasons why I drank to begin with. And like my therapist says, > He doesn't seem to think one needs two solutions to one problem. > Anyone else had a humilitating situation like mine happen???? > Have the AA Nazis pounced on anyone else?? > Jeannie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2001 Report Share Posted January 8, 2001 I have only gone to 2 meetings in the last 3 months or so. My last one was about 2 weeks ago. Something similar happened to me. When i walked in someone made a comment like " welcome back " .....I just said....gee thanks. Went about my way. Then someone else asked me if everything was o.k? You know with that look like maybe I was in danger of drinking or something. I said of course. Thanks. Then another knucklehead comes along and says....hey Pat we were starting to think maybe you were cured. I got kind of embarrassed with that one because he said it out loud. I just sat there and didn't say anything. I guess he realized I was a bit peeved. Later I thought that I probably should have said yeah...as a matter of fact I am. It would have been a sight to probably get his reaction to that. Anyhow I've come to realize these peoples lifelines are meetings. If they were to think that I am staying sober just fine and not going to meetings than it sort of crushes their belief that meetings are essential to staying sober. I can never expect to go to a meeting and not have to deal with this nonsense. So the best way for me to deal with it is not to deal with it by not going. > Hi all, > I have written once or twice after reading some of the posts, but after > Saturday night, my mind has definietly been made up. > I went to a 12 step (AA) meeting here in town and seen some older mebers from > another group I once attended on a regular basis. Anyways, there were about > 20 people there and I was doing the usual (making coffee, chatting with those > I hadnt seen in a while) and then comes in the AA Nazis from the other group > and the older lady said, " Well, my, my, I can't believe my eyes, it's > Jeannie. Where in the world have you been? " I said, (knowing full well if > she had not seen me at meetings its because I had not been going to > meetings.) But I said, " Well Sue, I have cut down on my meetings lately. " > Needless to say, I was the topic of the meeting that evening. Soon as I said > that she said Oh shit honey, I see a relapse coming for you honey---I have > picked up on my meetings. I said that is great Sue, if that is what you need > to do for yourself. She said no honey, You aint no different from me or > anyone else sitting around this table. I was shocked. > Anyhow to make a long story short this Nazi with 20 or 30 something years > sober is sitting right beside me and brings up the topic of meetings and how > when she hears someone with 5 years say they cut back on meetings she KNOWS > they are going to get drunk. Yada yada yada. And of course all eyes were on > me and I sat and watch the other people and it reminded me of those little > doggies in the back of windows years ago where their head bobbed up and > down--that is what all these other people were doing--sitting there nodding > there head as to say un huh!! > As I sat there and held my ground on what I thought it occured to me--I don't > need this shit. On Thursday even my therapist said (and he used to go to > meetings himself)--AA doesn't allow a person to grow out of their meetings. > It is a control issue. And I agree now 100%. > Guess it took a room full of people looking at me and one old lady with her 2 > sidekicks who cliam to have 30-35 yrs. sober to humiliate and embarrass me > for me to finally figure out the truth. > I also think it is a damn shame for someone to have 30+ years and say they > still have to go a meeting every single night of the week--sometimes 2. > But I didnt speak out and try and shame her or anyone else. I knew in my > heart my prayers have been answered. It was a tough choice for me because in > the beginning AA did save my life and I know that. But I also know since I > have stayed sober and went to therapy for the past 2 and 1/2 years, I have > uncovered the reasons why I drank to begin with. And like my therapist says, > He doesn't seem to think one needs two solutions to one problem. > Anyone else had a humilitating situation like mine happen???? > Have the AA Nazis pounced on anyone else?? > Jeannie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2001 Report Share Posted January 8, 2001 I have only gone to 2 meetings in the last 3 months or so. My last one was about 2 weeks ago. Something similar happened to me. When i walked in someone made a comment like " welcome back " .....I just said....gee thanks. Went about my way. Then someone else asked me if everything was o.k? You know with that look like maybe I was in danger of drinking or something. I said of course. Thanks. Then another knucklehead comes along and says....hey Pat we were starting to think maybe you were cured. I got kind of embarrassed with that one because he said it out loud. I just sat there and didn't say anything. I guess he realized I was a bit peeved. Later I thought that I probably should have said yeah...as a matter of fact I am. It would have been a sight to probably get his reaction to that. Anyhow I've come to realize these peoples lifelines are meetings. If they were to think that I am staying sober just fine and not going to meetings than it sort of crushes their belief that meetings are essential to staying sober. I can never expect to go to a meeting and not have to deal with this nonsense. So the best way for me to deal with it is not to deal with it by not going. > Hi all, > I have written once or twice after reading some of the posts, but after > Saturday night, my mind has definietly been made up. > I went to a 12 step (AA) meeting here in town and seen some older mebers from > another group I once attended on a regular basis. Anyways, there were about > 20 people there and I was doing the usual (making coffee, chatting with those > I hadnt seen in a while) and then comes in the AA Nazis from the other group > and the older lady said, " Well, my, my, I can't believe my eyes, it's > Jeannie. Where in the world have you been? " I said, (knowing full well if > she had not seen me at meetings its because I had not been going to > meetings.) But I said, " Well Sue, I have cut down on my meetings lately. " > Needless to say, I was the topic of the meeting that evening. Soon as I said > that she said Oh shit honey, I see a relapse coming for you honey---I have > picked up on my meetings. I said that is great Sue, if that is what you need > to do for yourself. She said no honey, You aint no different from me or > anyone else sitting around this table. I was shocked. > Anyhow to make a long story short this Nazi with 20 or 30 something years > sober is sitting right beside me and brings up the topic of meetings and how > when she hears someone with 5 years say they cut back on meetings she KNOWS > they are going to get drunk. Yada yada yada. And of course all eyes were on > me and I sat and watch the other people and it reminded me of those little > doggies in the back of windows years ago where their head bobbed up and > down--that is what all these other people were doing--sitting there nodding > there head as to say un huh!! > As I sat there and held my ground on what I thought it occured to me--I don't > need this shit. On Thursday even my therapist said (and he used to go to > meetings himself)--AA doesn't allow a person to grow out of their meetings. > It is a control issue. And I agree now 100%. > Guess it took a room full of people looking at me and one old lady with her 2 > sidekicks who cliam to have 30-35 yrs. sober to humiliate and embarrass me > for me to finally figure out the truth. > I also think it is a damn shame for someone to have 30+ years and say they > still have to go a meeting every single night of the week--sometimes 2. > But I didnt speak out and try and shame her or anyone else. I knew in my > heart my prayers have been answered. It was a tough choice for me because in > the beginning AA did save my life and I know that. But I also know since I > have stayed sober and went to therapy for the past 2 and 1/2 years, I have > uncovered the reasons why I drank to begin with. And like my therapist says, > He doesn't seem to think one needs two solutions to one problem. > Anyone else had a humilitating situation like mine happen???? > Have the AA Nazis pounced on anyone else?? > Jeannie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 welcome to the other side of the looking glass. it amazes me, i have heard accounts from ex-aa members from around the world, and yet the tales of cult tactics, manipulations and social control are always exactly the same in every respect. i was in AA for a year, and yet i have experienced the same bullshit people who were in AA for years have. the language is the same, he social pressures are same, the alpha elders are the same. it amazes me any one even attempts to deny its a cult. when i left, after telling my sponsor he was " fired " after a meeting in from of my home group, i knew in my gut as i walked out the door, no one in AA had my best interest at heart, that it all was a staged routine for them. like actors hiting a mark. when some one does this, you then say that, if they express a certain emotion, then drop this slogan on them, they dont go to a meeting or express enough gratitude to program, Watch them! their in trouble and dont even know it!! > > Hi all, > > I have written once or twice after reading some of the posts, but > after > > Saturday night, my mind has definietly been made up. > > I went to a 12 step (AA) meeting here in town and seen some older > mebers from > > another group I once attended on a regular basis. Anyways, there > were about > > 20 people there and I was doing the usual (making coffee, chatting > with those > > I hadnt seen in a while) and then comes in the AA Nazis from the > other group > > and the older lady said, " Well, my, my, I can't believe my eyes, > it's > > Jeannie. Where in the world have you been? " I said, (knowing full > well if > > she had not seen me at meetings its because I had not been going to > > meetings.) But I said, " Well Sue, I have cut down on my meetings > lately. " > > Needless to say, I was the topic of the meeting that evening. Soon > as I said > > that she said Oh shit honey, I see a relapse coming for you > honey---I have > > picked up on my meetings. I said that is great Sue, if that is what > you need > > to do for yourself. She said no honey, You aint no different from > me or > > anyone else sitting around this table. I was shocked. > > Anyhow to make a long story short this Nazi with 20 or 30 something > years > > sober is sitting right beside me and brings up the topic of meetings > and how > > when she hears someone with 5 years say they cut back on meetings > she KNOWS > > they are going to get drunk. Yada yada yada. And of course all > eyes were on > > me and I sat and watch the other people and it reminded me of those > little > > doggies in the back of windows years ago where their head bobbed up > and > > down--that is what all these other people were doing--sitting there > nodding > > there head as to say un huh!! > > As I sat there and held my ground on what I thought it occured to > me--I don't > > need this shit. On Thursday even my therapist said (and he used to > go to > > meetings himself)--AA doesn't allow a person to grow out of their > meetings. > > It is a control issue. And I agree now 100%. > > Guess it took a room full of people looking at me and one old lady > with her 2 > > sidekicks who cliam to have 30-35 yrs. sober to humiliate and > embarrass me > > for me to finally figure out the truth. > > I also think it is a damn shame for someone to have 30+ years and > say they > > still have to go a meeting every single night of the week--sometimes > 2. > > But I didnt speak out and try and shame her or anyone else. I knew > in my > > heart my prayers have been answered. It was a tough choice for me > because in > > the beginning AA did save my life and I know that. But I also know > since I > > have stayed sober and went to therapy for the past 2 and 1/2 years, > I have > > uncovered the reasons why I drank to begin with. And like my > therapist says, > > He doesn't seem to think one needs two solutions to one problem. > > Anyone else had a humilitating situation like mine happen???? > > Have the AA Nazis pounced on anyone else?? > > Jeannie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 welcome to the other side of the looking glass. it amazes me, i have heard accounts from ex-aa members from around the world, and yet the tales of cult tactics, manipulations and social control are always exactly the same in every respect. i was in AA for a year, and yet i have experienced the same bullshit people who were in AA for years have. the language is the same, he social pressures are same, the alpha elders are the same. it amazes me any one even attempts to deny its a cult. when i left, after telling my sponsor he was " fired " after a meeting in from of my home group, i knew in my gut as i walked out the door, no one in AA had my best interest at heart, that it all was a staged routine for them. like actors hiting a mark. when some one does this, you then say that, if they express a certain emotion, then drop this slogan on them, they dont go to a meeting or express enough gratitude to program, Watch them! their in trouble and dont even know it!! > > Hi all, > > I have written once or twice after reading some of the posts, but > after > > Saturday night, my mind has definietly been made up. > > I went to a 12 step (AA) meeting here in town and seen some older > mebers from > > another group I once attended on a regular basis. Anyways, there > were about > > 20 people there and I was doing the usual (making coffee, chatting > with those > > I hadnt seen in a while) and then comes in the AA Nazis from the > other group > > and the older lady said, " Well, my, my, I can't believe my eyes, > it's > > Jeannie. Where in the world have you been? " I said, (knowing full > well if > > she had not seen me at meetings its because I had not been going to > > meetings.) But I said, " Well Sue, I have cut down on my meetings > lately. " > > Needless to say, I was the topic of the meeting that evening. Soon > as I said > > that she said Oh shit honey, I see a relapse coming for you > honey---I have > > picked up on my meetings. I said that is great Sue, if that is what > you need > > to do for yourself. She said no honey, You aint no different from > me or > > anyone else sitting around this table. I was shocked. > > Anyhow to make a long story short this Nazi with 20 or 30 something > years > > sober is sitting right beside me and brings up the topic of meetings > and how > > when she hears someone with 5 years say they cut back on meetings > she KNOWS > > they are going to get drunk. Yada yada yada. And of course all > eyes were on > > me and I sat and watch the other people and it reminded me of those > little > > doggies in the back of windows years ago where their head bobbed up > and > > down--that is what all these other people were doing--sitting there > nodding > > there head as to say un huh!! > > As I sat there and held my ground on what I thought it occured to > me--I don't > > need this shit. On Thursday even my therapist said (and he used to > go to > > meetings himself)--AA doesn't allow a person to grow out of their > meetings. > > It is a control issue. And I agree now 100%. > > Guess it took a room full of people looking at me and one old lady > with her 2 > > sidekicks who cliam to have 30-35 yrs. sober to humiliate and > embarrass me > > for me to finally figure out the truth. > > I also think it is a damn shame for someone to have 30+ years and > say they > > still have to go a meeting every single night of the week--sometimes > 2. > > But I didnt speak out and try and shame her or anyone else. I knew > in my > > heart my prayers have been answered. It was a tough choice for me > because in > > the beginning AA did save my life and I know that. But I also know > since I > > have stayed sober and went to therapy for the past 2 and 1/2 years, > I have > > uncovered the reasons why I drank to begin with. And like my > therapist says, > > He doesn't seem to think one needs two solutions to one problem. > > Anyone else had a humilitating situation like mine happen???? > > Have the AA Nazis pounced on anyone else?? > > Jeannie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 welcome to the other side of the looking glass. it amazes me, i have heard accounts from ex-aa members from around the world, and yet the tales of cult tactics, manipulations and social control are always exactly the same in every respect. i was in AA for a year, and yet i have experienced the same bullshit people who were in AA for years have. the language is the same, he social pressures are same, the alpha elders are the same. it amazes me any one even attempts to deny its a cult. when i left, after telling my sponsor he was " fired " after a meeting in from of my home group, i knew in my gut as i walked out the door, no one in AA had my best interest at heart, that it all was a staged routine for them. like actors hiting a mark. when some one does this, you then say that, if they express a certain emotion, then drop this slogan on them, they dont go to a meeting or express enough gratitude to program, Watch them! their in trouble and dont even know it!! > > Hi all, > > I have written once or twice after reading some of the posts, but > after > > Saturday night, my mind has definietly been made up. > > I went to a 12 step (AA) meeting here in town and seen some older > mebers from > > another group I once attended on a regular basis. Anyways, there > were about > > 20 people there and I was doing the usual (making coffee, chatting > with those > > I hadnt seen in a while) and then comes in the AA Nazis from the > other group > > and the older lady said, " Well, my, my, I can't believe my eyes, > it's > > Jeannie. Where in the world have you been? " I said, (knowing full > well if > > she had not seen me at meetings its because I had not been going to > > meetings.) But I said, " Well Sue, I have cut down on my meetings > lately. " > > Needless to say, I was the topic of the meeting that evening. Soon > as I said > > that she said Oh shit honey, I see a relapse coming for you > honey---I have > > picked up on my meetings. I said that is great Sue, if that is what > you need > > to do for yourself. She said no honey, You aint no different from > me or > > anyone else sitting around this table. I was shocked. > > Anyhow to make a long story short this Nazi with 20 or 30 something > years > > sober is sitting right beside me and brings up the topic of meetings > and how > > when she hears someone with 5 years say they cut back on meetings > she KNOWS > > they are going to get drunk. Yada yada yada. And of course all > eyes were on > > me and I sat and watch the other people and it reminded me of those > little > > doggies in the back of windows years ago where their head bobbed up > and > > down--that is what all these other people were doing--sitting there > nodding > > there head as to say un huh!! > > As I sat there and held my ground on what I thought it occured to > me--I don't > > need this shit. On Thursday even my therapist said (and he used to > go to > > meetings himself)--AA doesn't allow a person to grow out of their > meetings. > > It is a control issue. And I agree now 100%. > > Guess it took a room full of people looking at me and one old lady > with her 2 > > sidekicks who cliam to have 30-35 yrs. sober to humiliate and > embarrass me > > for me to finally figure out the truth. > > I also think it is a damn shame for someone to have 30+ years and > say they > > still have to go a meeting every single night of the week--sometimes > 2. > > But I didnt speak out and try and shame her or anyone else. I knew > in my > > heart my prayers have been answered. It was a tough choice for me > because in > > the beginning AA did save my life and I know that. But I also know > since I > > have stayed sober and went to therapy for the past 2 and 1/2 years, > I have > > uncovered the reasons why I drank to begin with. And like my > therapist says, > > He doesn't seem to think one needs two solutions to one problem. > > Anyone else had a humilitating situation like mine happen???? > > Have the AA Nazis pounced on anyone else?? > > Jeannie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Wow, right on. What I am really sick of is all the labels - " I'm just a sick person " " My self-centered fear prevents me from growing " " My best thinking got me here " , blah-blah blah. Been meeting free for almost six months. I am doing fine and the only compulsion I feel is a twinge to go to a meeting once in a while Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Wow, right on. What I am really sick of is all the labels - " I'm just a sick person " " My self-centered fear prevents me from growing " " My best thinking got me here " , blah-blah blah. Been meeting free for almost six months. I am doing fine and the only compulsion I feel is a twinge to go to a meeting once in a while Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Wow, right on. What I am really sick of is all the labels - " I'm just a sick person " " My self-centered fear prevents me from growing " " My best thinking got me here " , blah-blah blah. Been meeting free for almost six months. I am doing fine and the only compulsion I feel is a twinge to go to a meeting once in a while Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Bravo - I can't tell you how many times I have been feeling really good about life, about my job, or whatever, and some Big Book Banger would come along and say, " Yeah, just keep riding that pink cloud. " It's almost as if the underlying message is, " You are an alcoholic or drug addict or (insert dysfunctional behavior here), you do not deserve to be happy and you are so sick and selfish you would not know what true happiness is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Bravo - I can't tell you how many times I have been feeling really good about life, about my job, or whatever, and some Big Book Banger would come along and say, " Yeah, just keep riding that pink cloud. " It's almost as if the underlying message is, " You are an alcoholic or drug addict or (insert dysfunctional behavior here), you do not deserve to be happy and you are so sick and selfish you would not know what true happiness is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Bravo - I can't tell you how many times I have been feeling really good about life, about my job, or whatever, and some Big Book Banger would come along and say, " Yeah, just keep riding that pink cloud. " It's almost as if the underlying message is, " You are an alcoholic or drug addict or (insert dysfunctional behavior here), you do not deserve to be happy and you are so sick and selfish you would not know what true happiness is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Wow, it just feels so good to hear this kind of feedback. I was in the program for nearly two years and have not been in quite some time. I decided (with the help of my therapist) to try the Moderation Management approach. That went over like a led balloon with my 12 step bretheren. But guess what, it worked. I am not in the hospital, I am not a drunk, hell, i still rarely drink and when I do, it's usually one glass of wine with dinner. I finally feel the sobreity that elluded me during my time at meetings. I have also discovered what made me drink heavily in the first place. Now I understand why when I was a newcomer some of the elder statesman wanted me to stay away from therapy. They were afraid I would discover the truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Wow, it just feels so good to hear this kind of feedback. I was in the program for nearly two years and have not been in quite some time. I decided (with the help of my therapist) to try the Moderation Management approach. That went over like a led balloon with my 12 step bretheren. But guess what, it worked. I am not in the hospital, I am not a drunk, hell, i still rarely drink and when I do, it's usually one glass of wine with dinner. I finally feel the sobreity that elluded me during my time at meetings. I have also discovered what made me drink heavily in the first place. Now I understand why when I was a newcomer some of the elder statesman wanted me to stay away from therapy. They were afraid I would discover the truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Hi Pat, Yes, that is another one 'they' tried to pull on me also--by saying they thought I was cured and funny 'cause my first thought was too say, --yeah, I may be. Also like you, I could imagine the " fire and brimstone " topic that would have been. Someone asked me why I didn't walk out and I had thought about it while sitting there and listening to the b.s. But, on the other hand it was a brand new experience for me to sit and hold true to what I know is the truth for me and not back down. I do feel good b/c I sat there and looked each one in the eye as they told of how they relapsed after not going to meetings and yadda this and yadda that. Instead of doing the 'bobbing my head up and down as if in agreement', I looked them each in the eye and just shooked my head no, as in I disagree. Funny now that I recall how the meeting went--after each one shared, someone else was quick to jump in with their speech, almost as if they were not allowing me to share my mind. The usual, Are there any burning desire question before closing was not even asked. But I probably would not have said anything anyway. I did somehow have a peaceful spot in my gut telling me I knew what I was and am doing is exactly where I am supposed to be at today. And it darn sure is not at an AA meeting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Hi Pat, Yes, that is another one 'they' tried to pull on me also--by saying they thought I was cured and funny 'cause my first thought was too say, --yeah, I may be. Also like you, I could imagine the " fire and brimstone " topic that would have been. Someone asked me why I didn't walk out and I had thought about it while sitting there and listening to the b.s. But, on the other hand it was a brand new experience for me to sit and hold true to what I know is the truth for me and not back down. I do feel good b/c I sat there and looked each one in the eye as they told of how they relapsed after not going to meetings and yadda this and yadda that. Instead of doing the 'bobbing my head up and down as if in agreement', I looked them each in the eye and just shooked my head no, as in I disagree. Funny now that I recall how the meeting went--after each one shared, someone else was quick to jump in with their speech, almost as if they were not allowing me to share my mind. The usual, Are there any burning desire question before closing was not even asked. But I probably would not have said anything anyway. I did somehow have a peaceful spot in my gut telling me I knew what I was and am doing is exactly where I am supposed to be at today. And it darn sure is not at an AA meeting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Hi Pat, Yes, that is another one 'they' tried to pull on me also--by saying they thought I was cured and funny 'cause my first thought was too say, --yeah, I may be. Also like you, I could imagine the " fire and brimstone " topic that would have been. Someone asked me why I didn't walk out and I had thought about it while sitting there and listening to the b.s. But, on the other hand it was a brand new experience for me to sit and hold true to what I know is the truth for me and not back down. I do feel good b/c I sat there and looked each one in the eye as they told of how they relapsed after not going to meetings and yadda this and yadda that. Instead of doing the 'bobbing my head up and down as if in agreement', I looked them each in the eye and just shooked my head no, as in I disagree. Funny now that I recall how the meeting went--after each one shared, someone else was quick to jump in with their speech, almost as if they were not allowing me to share my mind. The usual, Are there any burning desire question before closing was not even asked. But I probably would not have said anything anyway. I did somehow have a peaceful spot in my gut telling me I knew what I was and am doing is exactly where I am supposed to be at today. And it darn sure is not at an AA meeting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Jeannie, Towards the end of my years in the program, I started to notice that the steppers did not trust those who shared about success and happiness. Responses to things such as " My husband and I are happy " or " I just received a promotion at work " were met with comments such as " this too shall pass. " It seemed to me that they preferred being around lost souls. Notice how those who shared misery got love and attention, while those who were doing well in their lives were warned that the disease was always there. AA members do not want to see people get well. If they did, they wouldn't put themselves down so much with comments such as " I'm just a sick alcoholic. " It doesn't make sense to label yourself as a behavior that you no longer do. I mean, I wet my diaper when I was a baby, and I don't call myself a Recovering Diaper Wetter! Associating with the healthy people you meet outside the rooms makes you a healthier person. It's simple. Congratulations on seeing the light! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Jeannie, Towards the end of my years in the program, I started to notice that the steppers did not trust those who shared about success and happiness. Responses to things such as " My husband and I are happy " or " I just received a promotion at work " were met with comments such as " this too shall pass. " It seemed to me that they preferred being around lost souls. Notice how those who shared misery got love and attention, while those who were doing well in their lives were warned that the disease was always there. AA members do not want to see people get well. If they did, they wouldn't put themselves down so much with comments such as " I'm just a sick alcoholic. " It doesn't make sense to label yourself as a behavior that you no longer do. I mean, I wet my diaper when I was a baby, and I don't call myself a Recovering Diaper Wetter! Associating with the healthy people you meet outside the rooms makes you a healthier person. It's simple. Congratulations on seeing the light! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 Jeannie, Towards the end of my years in the program, I started to notice that the steppers did not trust those who shared about success and happiness. Responses to things such as " My husband and I are happy " or " I just received a promotion at work " were met with comments such as " this too shall pass. " It seemed to me that they preferred being around lost souls. Notice how those who shared misery got love and attention, while those who were doing well in their lives were warned that the disease was always there. AA members do not want to see people get well. If they did, they wouldn't put themselves down so much with comments such as " I'm just a sick alcoholic. " It doesn't make sense to label yourself as a behavior that you no longer do. I mean, I wet my diaper when I was a baby, and I don't call myself a Recovering Diaper Wetter! Associating with the healthy people you meet outside the rooms makes you a healthier person. It's simple. Congratulations on seeing the light! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 AA is a self helplessness group. if you were happy and doing well, you wouldn't need them anymore, so they dismiss anyone's happiness as a false " pink cloud " or such. > Jeannie, > AA members do not want to see people get well. If they did, they > wouldn't put themselves down so much with comments such as " I'm just a sick alcoholic. " It doesn't make sense to label yourself as a > behavior that you no longer do. I mean, I wet my diaper when I was a > baby, and I don't call myself a Recovering Diaper Wetter! not to mention its a masochistic label to boot. thanks to AA , we have all kinds of " defects " we associate with the label alcoholic. liars, thiefs, morally bankrupt. no person of healthy self esteem would even think of putting themselves in such a category. this is one the travesties of 12-step programs nor do we expect smokers to say im a " smoker " years after they quit. the thing the brainacs in AA seem to forget is the baisis of the disease theory of alcoholism is that it is progressive. that is the primary reason its considered a disease, not because it can be lethal, or it supposedly cant be managed. once its stops progressing, its not a disease. tooth decay is a disease, gingivitis is a disease. but once those to conditions stop progressing, your dentist doesn't say you should label yourself after your former tooth condition. i stopped being an alcoholic the day i stopped drinking. > > Associating with the healthy people you meet outside the rooms makes > you a healthier person. It's simple. > > Congratulations on seeing the light! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 AA is a self helplessness group. if you were happy and doing well, you wouldn't need them anymore, so they dismiss anyone's happiness as a false " pink cloud " or such. > Jeannie, > AA members do not want to see people get well. If they did, they > wouldn't put themselves down so much with comments such as " I'm just a sick alcoholic. " It doesn't make sense to label yourself as a > behavior that you no longer do. I mean, I wet my diaper when I was a > baby, and I don't call myself a Recovering Diaper Wetter! not to mention its a masochistic label to boot. thanks to AA , we have all kinds of " defects " we associate with the label alcoholic. liars, thiefs, morally bankrupt. no person of healthy self esteem would even think of putting themselves in such a category. this is one the travesties of 12-step programs nor do we expect smokers to say im a " smoker " years after they quit. the thing the brainacs in AA seem to forget is the baisis of the disease theory of alcoholism is that it is progressive. that is the primary reason its considered a disease, not because it can be lethal, or it supposedly cant be managed. once its stops progressing, its not a disease. tooth decay is a disease, gingivitis is a disease. but once those to conditions stop progressing, your dentist doesn't say you should label yourself after your former tooth condition. i stopped being an alcoholic the day i stopped drinking. > > Associating with the healthy people you meet outside the rooms makes > you a healthier person. It's simple. > > Congratulations on seeing the light! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 midwestbrunette@... wrote: > AA members do not want to see people get well. If they did, they > wouldn't put themselves down so much with comments such as " I'm just > a sick alcoholic. " It doesn't make sense to label yourself as a > behavior that you no longer do. I mean, I wet my diaper when I was a > baby, and I don't call myself a Recovering Diaper Wetter! Step One. We admitted that we were powerless over our bladders and that our laundry bills had become unmanageable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 midwestbrunette@... wrote: > AA members do not want to see people get well. If they did, they > wouldn't put themselves down so much with comments such as " I'm just > a sick alcoholic. " It doesn't make sense to label yourself as a > behavior that you no longer do. I mean, I wet my diaper when I was a > baby, and I don't call myself a Recovering Diaper Wetter! Step One. We admitted that we were powerless over our bladders and that our laundry bills had become unmanageable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2001 Report Share Posted January 9, 2001 midwestbrunette@... wrote: > AA members do not want to see people get well. If they did, they > wouldn't put themselves down so much with comments such as " I'm just > a sick alcoholic. " It doesn't make sense to label yourself as a > behavior that you no longer do. I mean, I wet my diaper when I was a > baby, and I don't call myself a Recovering Diaper Wetter! Step One. We admitted that we were powerless over our bladders and that our laundry bills had become unmanageable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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