Re: wah - ot

January 10, 2003

Lots of deep pressure being sent your way, Jacquie!

Sue

-----

January 10, 2003

Re: wah - ot

>

> > Lots of deep pressure being sent your way, Jacquie!

> > Sue

>

> Oh, that is SO what I need!

>

> Jacquie

>

I was going to send you hugs, but then thought about what you have said

before about huggy people, so, hey, this is what the boys like!

Maybe you could go lay down and put the sofa cushions on top of you, or a

stack of blankets and pillows? s mattress?

Sue

January 10, 2003

Jacquie, I think about that for my kids. We have times that seem to

click for the moment, and then times where it is glaringly apparent.

Right now and I cannot forsee how Gail will be able to live by

herself. Her life skills frankly, stink. She has the common sense

of a newt. And she is very sweet and highly intelligent, but she

can't remember to take her meds even when she remember to take them

out the bottle, and that's after she was reminded to do that. I

truly wonder what the future holds for them.

It encourages me to see how well you do and how insightful you are.

If you and Marc can do as well as you have, then maybe my kids will

do okay. And I wish you were my neighbor, I'd love to have you close

by.

January 10, 2003

Jacquie, I think about that for my kids. We have times that seem to

click for the moment, and then times where it is glaringly apparent.

Right now and I cannot forsee how Gail will be able to live by

herself. Her life skills frankly, stink. She has the common sense

of a newt. And she is very sweet and highly intelligent, but she

can't remember to take her meds even when she remember to take them

out the bottle, and that's after she was reminded to do that. I

truly wonder what the future holds for them.

It encourages me to see how well you do and how insightful you are.

If you and Marc can do as well as you have, then maybe my kids will

do okay. And I wish you were my neighbor, I'd love to have you close

by.

January 10, 2003

Jacquie, I think about that for my kids. We have times that seem to

click for the moment, and then times where it is glaringly apparent.

Right now and I cannot forsee how Gail will be able to live by

herself. Her life skills frankly, stink. She has the common sense

of a newt. And she is very sweet and highly intelligent, but she

can't remember to take her meds even when she remember to take them

out the bottle, and that's after she was reminded to do that. I

truly wonder what the future holds for them.

It encourages me to see how well you do and how insightful you are.

If you and Marc can do as well as you have, then maybe my kids will

do okay. And I wish you were my neighbor, I'd love to have you close

by.

January 11, 2003

Jacquie, this is exactly what I want my kids to be able to do. To

recognize when challenges are building and to work on managment

before they spiral out of control. AND they MUST take their

medications. Gail's follow through ability is so weak she will take

the meds out of the bottle, and then forget to actually take them! I

can only hope they can attain what you have achieved! :-)

> I don't think I've ever been anybody's encouragement before this

list. It's

> a personally awe-inspiring thing. :-)

>

> The key for me has been to always learn as much about my own

challenges as

> possible and deal with things AS they arise, rather than wait for

it to

> escalate into something I can't control. That was necessary to

learn

> because when my first serious manic phases appeared, I was living

alone with

> a baby while Marc sailed, and I knew that if things got out of my

control

> the baby could be seriously hurt or neglected. I HAD to learn to

know

> myself and be med-compliant; there was no choice.

>

> One thing that always helped was to remind myself that nobody could

take

> better care of me than ME, so I'd better do a damn good job of it,

since no

> guardian angel was going to come out of the woodwork and save me

from

> myself. :-)

>

> Jacquie

January 11, 2003

Jacquie, this is exactly what I want my kids to be able to do. To

recognize when challenges are building and to work on managment

before they spiral out of control. AND they MUST take their

medications. Gail's follow through ability is so weak she will take

the meds out of the bottle, and then forget to actually take them! I

can only hope they can attain what you have achieved! :-)

> I don't think I've ever been anybody's encouragement before this

list. It's

> a personally awe-inspiring thing. :-)

>

> The key for me has been to always learn as much about my own

challenges as

> possible and deal with things AS they arise, rather than wait for

it to

> escalate into something I can't control. That was necessary to

learn

> because when my first serious manic phases appeared, I was living

alone with

> a baby while Marc sailed, and I knew that if things got out of my

control

> the baby could be seriously hurt or neglected. I HAD to learn to

know

> myself and be med-compliant; there was no choice.

>

> One thing that always helped was to remind myself that nobody could

take

> better care of me than ME, so I'd better do a damn good job of it,

since no

> guardian angel was going to come out of the woodwork and save me

from

> myself. :-)

>

> Jacquie

January 11, 2003

Jacquie, this is exactly what I want my kids to be able to do. To

recognize when challenges are building and to work on managment

before they spiral out of control. AND they MUST take their

medications. Gail's follow through ability is so weak she will take

the meds out of the bottle, and then forget to actually take them! I

can only hope they can attain what you have achieved! :-)

> I don't think I've ever been anybody's encouragement before this

list. It's

> a personally awe-inspiring thing. :-)

>

> The key for me has been to always learn as much about my own

challenges as

> possible and deal with things AS they arise, rather than wait for

it to

> escalate into something I can't control. That was necessary to

learn

> because when my first serious manic phases appeared, I was living

alone with

> a baby while Marc sailed, and I knew that if things got out of my

control

> the baby could be seriously hurt or neglected. I HAD to learn to

know

> myself and be med-compliant; there was no choice.

>

> One thing that always helped was to remind myself that nobody could

take

> better care of me than ME, so I'd better do a damn good job of it,

since no

> guardian angel was going to come out of the woodwork and save me

from

> myself. :-)

>

> Jacquie

January 11, 2003

In a message dated 1/10/03 1:03:57 PM Eastern Standard Time, vhunnius@...

writes:

> the only friends I have in real life are a fellow bipolar and a psychiatric

> nurse. what does THAT tell you?

You have us. You will always have us. I'm so sorry that you are going threw

this when it just should be that way.

Hugs

PS I don't think the lithium joke was funny

January 11, 2003

Makes sense, but how do I ward off the oppositonal, agressive, over

reactive, raging type of behaviors? If you tell them, especially

that he is over reacting, or that he HAS to do something, those

are the behaviors you get. We have what I would say is not optimal,

but reasonable medication managment for the time being which does

greatly enhance his ability to moderate his reactions, but when he is

out of control there really is no rationalizing.

Our biggest concerns are that during an out of control moment/rage

he will injure someone when he lashes out, especially as he gets

bigger and bigger. He has always been phenomenally strong. For Gail

that concern is more that she will find herself in an unsafe

situation because of her lack of follow through, and general

awareness, not to mention no common sense. How do you get these kids

to realize the impact of their behaviors? How do you get it sink in

and STICK?

Last night and I were talking about something regarding Gail,

and he asked if I had spoken to her about (pick a thousand topics),

and I picked up a blue hat off the floor (hers of course), held it in

front of my face, and told him I'd spoken to her many times (until I

was blue in the face). While I was poking a bit of fun at the

situation, it underlines the problem of how do you get it through to

them?

And right now, I must try to put down a sweet sleeping who

will probably wake up and scream, to go upstairs and moderate a

raging and angry Gail.

Jacquie, this is exactly what I want my kids to be able to do. To

> > recognize when challenges are building and to work on managment

> > before they spiral out of control.

>

> I wish I could tell you how to teach that to people so young. :-(

I ws

> well into my twenties before I knew myself very well at all. The

problem is

> that when you're so young, or even just unknowing about your

challenges,

> everything feels so VALID to you. Like, you know when you have

PMS, and you

> get really angry about something, and someone says, " It's because

you have

> PMS " and that's just so insulting because to YOU your feelings are

very real

> and can't be trivialized like that? Even if later you realize it

WAS PMS

> that made you react like that, you're still affronted about it?

THAT'S what

> having out-of-control behaviour pointed out to you is like if you

think you

> have it under control. But then after you've gone through PMS for

so long,

> you start to recognize that you ARE overreacting and that the PMS

is why.

>

> That's all that's needed, really - time to learn that you seem to

react the

> same way to the same thing.

>

> They will learn.

>

> Jacquie

January 11, 2003

> Sweetie, it's okay to feel this, it's just part of the disease. My

> husband has bi-polar and believe me it drives him and me crazy, but you

> gotta take your meds. If you need the money to get them, it's worth it

> cuz then you won't have as many days like this one. It's worth it.

>

> debbi

Thanks, Debbi. I've never gone off my meds; I've never even tried to cut

them back before. I've been on them five years. It came as such a shock to

learn that I couldn't even take 3/4 of my dose and be OK. I would have

never guessed the lithium was THAT vital to my ability to function. One

thing's for certain: I'll never try THAT again.

Jacquie

January 11, 2003

> Sweetie, it's okay to feel this, it's just part of the disease. My

> husband has bi-polar and believe me it drives him and me crazy, but you

> gotta take your meds. If you need the money to get them, it's worth it

> cuz then you won't have as many days like this one. It's worth it.

>

> debbi

Thanks, Debbi. I've never gone off my meds; I've never even tried to cut

them back before. I've been on them five years. It came as such a shock to

learn that I couldn't even take 3/4 of my dose and be OK. I would have

never guessed the lithium was THAT vital to my ability to function. One

thing's for certain: I'll never try THAT again.

Jacquie

January 11, 2003

> Sweetie, it's okay to feel this, it's just part of the disease. My

> husband has bi-polar and believe me it drives him and me crazy, but you

> gotta take your meds. If you need the money to get them, it's worth it

> cuz then you won't have as many days like this one. It's worth it.

>

> debbi

Thanks, Debbi. I've never gone off my meds; I've never even tried to cut

them back before. I've been on them five years. It came as such a shock to

learn that I couldn't even take 3/4 of my dose and be OK. I would have

never guessed the lithium was THAT vital to my ability to function. One

thing's for certain: I'll never try THAT again.

Jacquie

January 11, 2003

> Lots of deep pressure being sent your way, Jacquie!

> Sue

Oh, that is SO what I need!

Jacquie

January 11, 2003

Maybe. The more upset he is the less able he is to communicate,

especially verbally, unless it is in that ragine voice. I could set

up a journal in the computer for him and give that a try, but he best

not pound on my computer or smash the keyboard. He says that he

can't help it. I tell him that he needs to just walk away if he's

getting angry, but he says that he just explodes, which I can

certainly attest to. He's always justifying behavior...and come to

think of it, often angry because of everyone not following all his

perceived rules of order and fairness. But his being angry does not

justify his behavior. Ugh. I'll try anything.

Gail would do extremely well with just a notebook. I'll

definitely do that with her...will be intersting to see what we gain

in insights with her.

I think that it's just very hard for me to deal with Chris's

reactiveness and raging. It was one thing when he was two, or four,

but he is ten and one hundred pounds now. When he isn't upset you

would never ever know or suspect how ugly he can look. It's like

Jekyl and Hyde.

just keep writing down whatever comes into his head. As you collect

> more and more of these, he (or you) may be able to really see

what's going

> on, and what's at the root of the anger or the overreaction. Once

you know

> that, you might be able to sit down together and discuss other

methods of

> dealing with those things by using his own words as a reference.

His own

> words may give you the key to how to help him head off a blowout.

>

> I suggest this because i'm a big journaller, and that's helped me a

lot --

> so maybe if you could get him to write, it would help all of you,

since he's

> not old enough to really get the insights he's laying down on the

page.

>

> Free writing is an amazing view into what's REALLY going on.

>

> Do you think this could work?

>

> Jacquie

January 11, 2003