Guest guest Posted January 10, 2003 Report Share Posted January 10, 2003 Lots of deep pressure being sent your way, Jacquie! Sue ----- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2003 Report Share Posted January 10, 2003 Re: wah - ot > > > > Lots of deep pressure being sent your way, Jacquie! > > Sue > > > Oh, that is SO what I need! > > Jacquie > I was going to send you hugs, but then thought about what you have said before about huggy people, so, hey, this is what the boys like! Maybe you could go lay down and put the sofa cushions on top of you, or a stack of blankets and pillows? s mattress? Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2003 Report Share Posted January 10, 2003 Jacquie, I think about that for my kids. We have times that seem to click for the moment, and then times where it is glaringly apparent. Right now and I cannot forsee how Gail will be able to live by herself. Her life skills frankly, stink. She has the common sense of a newt. And she is very sweet and highly intelligent, but she can't remember to take her meds even when she remember to take them out the bottle, and that's after she was reminded to do that. I truly wonder what the future holds for them. It encourages me to see how well you do and how insightful you are. If you and Marc can do as well as you have, then maybe my kids will do okay. And I wish you were my neighbor, I'd love to have you close by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2003 Report Share Posted January 10, 2003 Jacquie, I think about that for my kids. We have times that seem to click for the moment, and then times where it is glaringly apparent. Right now and I cannot forsee how Gail will be able to live by herself. Her life skills frankly, stink. She has the common sense of a newt. And she is very sweet and highly intelligent, but she can't remember to take her meds even when she remember to take them out the bottle, and that's after she was reminded to do that. I truly wonder what the future holds for them. It encourages me to see how well you do and how insightful you are. If you and Marc can do as well as you have, then maybe my kids will do okay. And I wish you were my neighbor, I'd love to have you close by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2003 Report Share Posted January 10, 2003 Jacquie, I think about that for my kids. We have times that seem to click for the moment, and then times where it is glaringly apparent. Right now and I cannot forsee how Gail will be able to live by herself. Her life skills frankly, stink. She has the common sense of a newt. And she is very sweet and highly intelligent, but she can't remember to take her meds even when she remember to take them out the bottle, and that's after she was reminded to do that. I truly wonder what the future holds for them. It encourages me to see how well you do and how insightful you are. If you and Marc can do as well as you have, then maybe my kids will do okay. And I wish you were my neighbor, I'd love to have you close by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 Jacquie, this is exactly what I want my kids to be able to do. To recognize when challenges are building and to work on managment before they spiral out of control. AND they MUST take their medications. Gail's follow through ability is so weak she will take the meds out of the bottle, and then forget to actually take them! I can only hope they can attain what you have achieved! :-) > I don't think I've ever been anybody's encouragement before this list. It's > a personally awe-inspiring thing. :-) > > The key for me has been to always learn as much about my own challenges as > possible and deal with things AS they arise, rather than wait for it to > escalate into something I can't control. That was necessary to learn > because when my first serious manic phases appeared, I was living alone with > a baby while Marc sailed, and I knew that if things got out of my control > the baby could be seriously hurt or neglected. I HAD to learn to know > myself and be med-compliant; there was no choice. > > One thing that always helped was to remind myself that nobody could take > better care of me than ME, so I'd better do a damn good job of it, since no > guardian angel was going to come out of the woodwork and save me from > myself. :-) > > Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 Jacquie, this is exactly what I want my kids to be able to do. To recognize when challenges are building and to work on managment before they spiral out of control. AND they MUST take their medications. Gail's follow through ability is so weak she will take the meds out of the bottle, and then forget to actually take them! I can only hope they can attain what you have achieved! :-) > I don't think I've ever been anybody's encouragement before this list. It's > a personally awe-inspiring thing. :-) > > The key for me has been to always learn as much about my own challenges as > possible and deal with things AS they arise, rather than wait for it to > escalate into something I can't control. That was necessary to learn > because when my first serious manic phases appeared, I was living alone with > a baby while Marc sailed, and I knew that if things got out of my control > the baby could be seriously hurt or neglected. I HAD to learn to know > myself and be med-compliant; there was no choice. > > One thing that always helped was to remind myself that nobody could take > better care of me than ME, so I'd better do a damn good job of it, since no > guardian angel was going to come out of the woodwork and save me from > myself. :-) > > Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 Jacquie, this is exactly what I want my kids to be able to do. To recognize when challenges are building and to work on managment before they spiral out of control. AND they MUST take their medications. Gail's follow through ability is so weak she will take the meds out of the bottle, and then forget to actually take them! I can only hope they can attain what you have achieved! :-) > I don't think I've ever been anybody's encouragement before this list. It's > a personally awe-inspiring thing. :-) > > The key for me has been to always learn as much about my own challenges as > possible and deal with things AS they arise, rather than wait for it to > escalate into something I can't control. That was necessary to learn > because when my first serious manic phases appeared, I was living alone with > a baby while Marc sailed, and I knew that if things got out of my control > the baby could be seriously hurt or neglected. I HAD to learn to know > myself and be med-compliant; there was no choice. > > One thing that always helped was to remind myself that nobody could take > better care of me than ME, so I'd better do a damn good job of it, since no > guardian angel was going to come out of the woodwork and save me from > myself. :-) > > Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 In a message dated 1/10/03 1:03:57 PM Eastern Standard Time, vhunnius@... writes: > the only friends I have in real life are a fellow bipolar and a psychiatric > nurse. what does THAT tell you? You have us. You will always have us. I'm so sorry that you are going threw this when it just should be that way. Hugs PS I don't think the lithium joke was funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 Makes sense, but how do I ward off the oppositonal, agressive, over reactive, raging type of behaviors? If you tell them, especially that he is over reacting, or that he HAS to do something, those are the behaviors you get. We have what I would say is not optimal, but reasonable medication managment for the time being which does greatly enhance his ability to moderate his reactions, but when he is out of control there really is no rationalizing. Our biggest concerns are that during an out of control moment/rage he will injure someone when he lashes out, especially as he gets bigger and bigger. He has always been phenomenally strong. For Gail that concern is more that she will find herself in an unsafe situation because of her lack of follow through, and general awareness, not to mention no common sense. How do you get these kids to realize the impact of their behaviors? How do you get it sink in and STICK? Last night and I were talking about something regarding Gail, and he asked if I had spoken to her about (pick a thousand topics), and I picked up a blue hat off the floor (hers of course), held it in front of my face, and told him I'd spoken to her many times (until I was blue in the face). While I was poking a bit of fun at the situation, it underlines the problem of how do you get it through to them? And right now, I must try to put down a sweet sleeping who will probably wake up and scream, to go upstairs and moderate a raging and angry Gail. Jacquie, this is exactly what I want my kids to be able to do. To > > recognize when challenges are building and to work on managment > > before they spiral out of control. > > I wish I could tell you how to teach that to people so young. :-( I ws > well into my twenties before I knew myself very well at all. The problem is > that when you're so young, or even just unknowing about your challenges, > everything feels so VALID to you. Like, you know when you have PMS, and you > get really angry about something, and someone says, " It's because you have > PMS " and that's just so insulting because to YOU your feelings are very real > and can't be trivialized like that? Even if later you realize it WAS PMS > that made you react like that, you're still affronted about it? THAT'S what > having out-of-control behaviour pointed out to you is like if you think you > have it under control. But then after you've gone through PMS for so long, > you start to recognize that you ARE overreacting and that the PMS is why. > > That's all that's needed, really - time to learn that you seem to react the > same way to the same thing. > > They will learn. > > Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 > Sweetie, it's okay to feel this, it's just part of the disease. My > husband has bi-polar and believe me it drives him and me crazy, but you > gotta take your meds. If you need the money to get them, it's worth it > cuz then you won't have as many days like this one. It's worth it. > > debbi Thanks, Debbi. I've never gone off my meds; I've never even tried to cut them back before. I've been on them five years. It came as such a shock to learn that I couldn't even take 3/4 of my dose and be OK. I would have never guessed the lithium was THAT vital to my ability to function. One thing's for certain: I'll never try THAT again. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 > Sweetie, it's okay to feel this, it's just part of the disease. My > husband has bi-polar and believe me it drives him and me crazy, but you > gotta take your meds. If you need the money to get them, it's worth it > cuz then you won't have as many days like this one. It's worth it. > > debbi Thanks, Debbi. I've never gone off my meds; I've never even tried to cut them back before. I've been on them five years. It came as such a shock to learn that I couldn't even take 3/4 of my dose and be OK. I would have never guessed the lithium was THAT vital to my ability to function. One thing's for certain: I'll never try THAT again. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 > Sweetie, it's okay to feel this, it's just part of the disease. My > husband has bi-polar and believe me it drives him and me crazy, but you > gotta take your meds. If you need the money to get them, it's worth it > cuz then you won't have as many days like this one. It's worth it. > > debbi Thanks, Debbi. I've never gone off my meds; I've never even tried to cut them back before. I've been on them five years. It came as such a shock to learn that I couldn't even take 3/4 of my dose and be OK. I would have never guessed the lithium was THAT vital to my ability to function. One thing's for certain: I'll never try THAT again. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 > Lots of deep pressure being sent your way, Jacquie! > Sue Oh, that is SO what I need! Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 Maybe. The more upset he is the less able he is to communicate, especially verbally, unless it is in that ragine voice. I could set up a journal in the computer for him and give that a try, but he best not pound on my computer or smash the keyboard. He says that he can't help it. I tell him that he needs to just walk away if he's getting angry, but he says that he just explodes, which I can certainly attest to. He's always justifying behavior...and come to think of it, often angry because of everyone not following all his perceived rules of order and fairness. But his being angry does not justify his behavior. Ugh. I'll try anything. Gail would do extremely well with just a notebook. I'll definitely do that with her...will be intersting to see what we gain in insights with her. I think that it's just very hard for me to deal with Chris's reactiveness and raging. It was one thing when he was two, or four, but he is ten and one hundred pounds now. When he isn't upset you would never ever know or suspect how ugly he can look. It's like Jekyl and Hyde. just keep writing down whatever comes into his head. As you collect > more and more of these, he (or you) may be able to really see what's going > on, and what's at the root of the anger or the overreaction. Once you know > that, you might be able to sit down together and discuss other methods of > dealing with those things by using his own words as a reference. His own > words may give you the key to how to help him head off a blowout. > > I suggest this because i'm a big journaller, and that's helped me a lot -- > so maybe if you could get him to write, it would help all of you, since he's > not old enough to really get the insights he's laying down on the page. > > Free writing is an amazing view into what's REALLY going on. > > Do you think this could work? > > Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 Maybe. The more upset he is the less able he is to communicate, especially verbally, unless it is in that ragine voice. I could set up a journal in the computer for him and give that a try, but he best not pound on my computer or smash the keyboard. He says that he can't help it. I tell him that he needs to just walk away if he's getting angry, but he says that he just explodes, which I can certainly attest to. He's always justifying behavior...and come to think of it, often angry because of everyone not following all his perceived rules of order and fairness. But his being angry does not justify his behavior. Ugh. I'll try anything. Gail would do extremely well with just a notebook. I'll definitely do that with her...will be intersting to see what we gain in insights with her. I think that it's just very hard for me to deal with Chris's reactiveness and raging. It was one thing when he was two, or four, but he is ten and one hundred pounds now. When he isn't upset you would never ever know or suspect how ugly he can look. It's like Jekyl and Hyde. just keep writing down whatever comes into his head. As you collect > more and more of these, he (or you) may be able to really see what's going > on, and what's at the root of the anger or the overreaction. Once you know > that, you might be able to sit down together and discuss other methods of > dealing with those things by using his own words as a reference. His own > words may give you the key to how to help him head off a blowout. > > I suggest this because i'm a big journaller, and that's helped me a lot -- > so maybe if you could get him to write, it would help all of you, since he's > not old enough to really get the insights he's laying down on the page. > > Free writing is an amazing view into what's REALLY going on. > > Do you think this could work? > > Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 > It encourages me to see how well you do and how insightful you are. > If you and Marc can do as well as you have, then maybe my kids will > do okay. And I wish you were my neighbor, I'd love to have you close > by. Oh, THANK YOU! I don't think I've ever been anybody's encouragement before this list. It's a personally awe-inspiring thing. :-) The key for me has been to always learn as much about my own challenges as possible and deal with things AS they arise, rather than wait for it to escalate into something I can't control. That was necessary to learn because when my first serious manic phases appeared, I was living alone with a baby while Marc sailed, and I knew that if things got out of my control the baby could be seriously hurt or neglected. I HAD to learn to know myself and be med-compliant; there was no choice. One thing that always helped was to remind myself that nobody could take better care of me than ME, so I'd better do a damn good job of it, since no guardian angel was going to come out of the woodwork and save me from myself. :-) Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 > It encourages me to see how well you do and how insightful you are. > If you and Marc can do as well as you have, then maybe my kids will > do okay. And I wish you were my neighbor, I'd love to have you close > by. Oh, THANK YOU! I don't think I've ever been anybody's encouragement before this list. It's a personally awe-inspiring thing. :-) The key for me has been to always learn as much about my own challenges as possible and deal with things AS they arise, rather than wait for it to escalate into something I can't control. That was necessary to learn because when my first serious manic phases appeared, I was living alone with a baby while Marc sailed, and I knew that if things got out of my control the baby could be seriously hurt or neglected. I HAD to learn to know myself and be med-compliant; there was no choice. One thing that always helped was to remind myself that nobody could take better care of me than ME, so I'd better do a damn good job of it, since no guardian angel was going to come out of the woodwork and save me from myself. :-) Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 > It encourages me to see how well you do and how insightful you are. > If you and Marc can do as well as you have, then maybe my kids will > do okay. And I wish you were my neighbor, I'd love to have you close > by. Oh, THANK YOU! I don't think I've ever been anybody's encouragement before this list. It's a personally awe-inspiring thing. :-) The key for me has been to always learn as much about my own challenges as possible and deal with things AS they arise, rather than wait for it to escalate into something I can't control. That was necessary to learn because when my first serious manic phases appeared, I was living alone with a baby while Marc sailed, and I knew that if things got out of my control the baby could be seriously hurt or neglected. I HAD to learn to know myself and be med-compliant; there was no choice. One thing that always helped was to remind myself that nobody could take better care of me than ME, so I'd better do a damn good job of it, since no guardian angel was going to come out of the woodwork and save me from myself. :-) Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 > Maybe. The more upset he is the less able he is to communicate, > especially verbally, unless it is in that ragine voice. I could set > up a journal in the computer for him and give that a try, but he best > not pound on my computer or smash the keyboard. He says that he > can't help it. I tell him that he needs to just walk away if he's > getting angry, but he says that he just explodes, which I can > certainly attest to. He's always justifying behavior...and come to think of it, often angry because of everyone not following all his > perceived rules of order and fairness. But his being angry does not justify his behavior. Ugh. I'll try anything. > Have you read " The Explosive Child " by ? I just finished reading it and a lot of what he said made sense with . was having a lot of severe rages this summer. When I found out what was going on at the school and that the principle was carrying him out of the room like a little baby it all clicked. Every time got mad, he locked up. He couldn't think it through, he couldn't explain, there was NO way he could talk to me about it or journal (even if he could write). He simply reacted. is very worried about fitting in with the rest of the kids and being " cool. " When the principle treated him like a baby, it just emphasized the differences between him and the other children. When we removed the principle from his discipline loop, his behavior changed drammatically. Now when he gets upset, he doesn't have to worry about her coming in and screaming at him or treating him like he's too stupid to understand. He's far more confident in his own ability to handle the situation. We've worked so hard at disciplining . He's been disciplined far stricter than either one of his sisters. He does NOT get by with anything, but all the discipline in the world wasn't helping. He was still having rages and hurting people. I can't remember the exact quote but the book said that if you're already working that hard at discipline wouldn't you prefer to have something to show for it? The only major flaw I found with the book is that it doesn't explain more how to handle the situation. It keeps stressing the importance of finding a good counselor. Yeah right. *insert maniacal laughter here* as if one existed in my area!!! 's improving but he still hits his sisters when he's mad at them. Not as often, but he still does. I worry about it. He's only 7 now but he's not going to stay 7 and he should be a big man when he's grown. His father is 6'2 " and broad shouldered, if turns out the same size or bigger he could really hurt the girls without even trying. ( Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 > Maybe. The more upset he is the less able he is to communicate, > especially verbally, unless it is in that ragine voice. I could set > up a journal in the computer for him and give that a try, but he best > not pound on my computer or smash the keyboard. He says that he > can't help it. I tell him that he needs to just walk away if he's > getting angry, but he says that he just explodes, which I can > certainly attest to. He's always justifying behavior...and come to think of it, often angry because of everyone not following all his > perceived rules of order and fairness. But his being angry does not justify his behavior. Ugh. I'll try anything. > Have you read " The Explosive Child " by ? I just finished reading it and a lot of what he said made sense with . was having a lot of severe rages this summer. When I found out what was going on at the school and that the principle was carrying him out of the room like a little baby it all clicked. Every time got mad, he locked up. He couldn't think it through, he couldn't explain, there was NO way he could talk to me about it or journal (even if he could write). He simply reacted. is very worried about fitting in with the rest of the kids and being " cool. " When the principle treated him like a baby, it just emphasized the differences between him and the other children. When we removed the principle from his discipline loop, his behavior changed drammatically. Now when he gets upset, he doesn't have to worry about her coming in and screaming at him or treating him like he's too stupid to understand. He's far more confident in his own ability to handle the situation. We've worked so hard at disciplining . He's been disciplined far stricter than either one of his sisters. He does NOT get by with anything, but all the discipline in the world wasn't helping. He was still having rages and hurting people. I can't remember the exact quote but the book said that if you're already working that hard at discipline wouldn't you prefer to have something to show for it? The only major flaw I found with the book is that it doesn't explain more how to handle the situation. It keeps stressing the importance of finding a good counselor. Yeah right. *insert maniacal laughter here* as if one existed in my area!!! 's improving but he still hits his sisters when he's mad at them. Not as often, but he still does. I worry about it. He's only 7 now but he's not going to stay 7 and he should be a big man when he's grown. His father is 6'2 " and broad shouldered, if turns out the same size or bigger he could really hurt the girls without even trying. ( Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 > Maybe. The more upset he is the less able he is to communicate, > especially verbally, unless it is in that ragine voice. I could set > up a journal in the computer for him and give that a try, but he best > not pound on my computer or smash the keyboard. He says that he > can't help it. I tell him that he needs to just walk away if he's > getting angry, but he says that he just explodes, which I can > certainly attest to. He's always justifying behavior...and come to think of it, often angry because of everyone not following all his > perceived rules of order and fairness. But his being angry does not justify his behavior. Ugh. I'll try anything. > Have you read " The Explosive Child " by ? I just finished reading it and a lot of what he said made sense with . was having a lot of severe rages this summer. When I found out what was going on at the school and that the principle was carrying him out of the room like a little baby it all clicked. Every time got mad, he locked up. He couldn't think it through, he couldn't explain, there was NO way he could talk to me about it or journal (even if he could write). He simply reacted. is very worried about fitting in with the rest of the kids and being " cool. " When the principle treated him like a baby, it just emphasized the differences between him and the other children. When we removed the principle from his discipline loop, his behavior changed drammatically. Now when he gets upset, he doesn't have to worry about her coming in and screaming at him or treating him like he's too stupid to understand. He's far more confident in his own ability to handle the situation. We've worked so hard at disciplining . He's been disciplined far stricter than either one of his sisters. He does NOT get by with anything, but all the discipline in the world wasn't helping. He was still having rages and hurting people. I can't remember the exact quote but the book said that if you're already working that hard at discipline wouldn't you prefer to have something to show for it? The only major flaw I found with the book is that it doesn't explain more how to handle the situation. It keeps stressing the importance of finding a good counselor. Yeah right. *insert maniacal laughter here* as if one existed in my area!!! 's improving but he still hits his sisters when he's mad at them. Not as often, but he still does. I worry about it. He's only 7 now but he's not going to stay 7 and he should be a big man when he's grown. His father is 6'2 " and broad shouldered, if turns out the same size or bigger he could really hurt the girls without even trying. ( Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 Oops, sorry, forgot to finish copying and pasting the name of the book & author: The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Ross W., Ph.D. Greene, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 Oops, sorry, forgot to finish copying and pasting the name of the book & author: The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Ross W., Ph.D. Greene, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 Oops, sorry, forgot to finish copying and pasting the name of the book & author: The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Ross W., Ph.D. Greene, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.