Please help.

[Guest guest]

Shaa,

Her pediatrician is misinformed and she should call the local LLL and ask

for a Dr. referral. If you tell me your location I can get you the number

for a local LLL leader.

Wendi

http://www.lactivist.com

breastfeeding info & resources

Re: Please help.

well the latest is. she took him to the dr. today and the dr. was very

concerned about his weight. i think he gained 1 lb in his two weeks of life.

so he said here give this to him no breast milk just this formula. if this

dont work there is one more we can try.

oh i breathed a sigh of relief.

did that too soon. he threw up twice taking the formula.and of course they

cannot get a hold of the dr. she is about to loose it.

so am i. i feel soooo sorry for that dear precious grand son of mine.i just

dont know what they can do now. except the one more the dr. has. thing about

it is that they have a cash flow problem and he has not been to work since

he has been born. then he is going to work half days which means half of

what he did make. that worries me to death.

they are not married. so i dont know if she can get on wic. i think there

is a hold up somehow. needless to say i am sad and have been crying over

this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Old school buds here:

http://click./1/4057/0/_/410002/_/958530688/

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Give the Gift of Life Breastfeed!

http://www.lactivist.com

[Guest guest]

Shaa,

Her pediatrician is misinformed and she should call the local LLL and ask

for a Dr. referral. If you tell me your location I can get you the number

for a local LLL leader.

Wendi

http://www.lactivist.com

breastfeeding info & resources

Re: Please help.

well the latest is. she took him to the dr. today and the dr. was very

concerned about his weight. i think he gained 1 lb in his two weeks of life.

so he said here give this to him no breast milk just this formula. if this

dont work there is one more we can try.

oh i breathed a sigh of relief.

did that too soon. he threw up twice taking the formula.and of course they

cannot get a hold of the dr. she is about to loose it.

so am i. i feel soooo sorry for that dear precious grand son of mine.i just

dont know what they can do now. except the one more the dr. has. thing about

it is that they have a cash flow problem and he has not been to work since

he has been born. then he is going to work half days which means half of

what he did make. that worries me to death.

they are not married. so i dont know if she can get on wic. i think there

is a hold up somehow. needless to say i am sad and have been crying over

this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Old school buds here:

http://click./1/4057/0/_/410002/_/958530688/

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Give the Gift of Life Breastfeed!

http://www.lactivist.com

[Guest guest]

I have been following this topic since you first posted, and quite

frankly, I am very concerned.

First, is the mother suffering from postpartum depression? I get the

impression that she might not be very aware of what is happening with

her baby (not nursing because she didn't want to expose herself, etc.).

Secondly, if there is a cashflow problem, then she needs to immediately

get public assistance. She needs to go back to the hospital and ask for

a social worker to help. Lack of money is no excuse for depriving a

child.

Is this child really ill or is he just in the hands of an inexperienced

mother? I got the impression from some of the earlier postings that the

mother didn't seem to be very dedicated to breastfeeding.

I know that mistakes are easy to make as a first-time mother, but with

your support, things should be turning around rather than continuing

downhill. I wish I could be there to give all of you a big hug, but

please just remember that you are in my thoughts.

As a grandparent, you are in a very awkward position. The baby's parents

are responsible for his well-being and your input may not be followed.

I detest the idea of using formula, but I keep getting the feeling that

this mother really isn't committed to breastfeeding. Maybe I have been

reading the posts wrong, but that's my impression. The lack of a weight

gain is troubling.

I will be interested in reading what Wendi and Margaret suggest at this

point.

Amy W.

[Guest guest]

I have been following this topic since you first posted, and quite

frankly, I am very concerned.

First, is the mother suffering from postpartum depression? I get the

impression that she might not be very aware of what is happening with

her baby (not nursing because she didn't want to expose herself, etc.).

Secondly, if there is a cashflow problem, then she needs to immediately

get public assistance. She needs to go back to the hospital and ask for

a social worker to help. Lack of money is no excuse for depriving a

child.

Is this child really ill or is he just in the hands of an inexperienced

mother? I got the impression from some of the earlier postings that the

mother didn't seem to be very dedicated to breastfeeding.

I know that mistakes are easy to make as a first-time mother, but with

your support, things should be turning around rather than continuing

downhill. I wish I could be there to give all of you a big hug, but

please just remember that you are in my thoughts.

As a grandparent, you are in a very awkward position. The baby's parents

are responsible for his well-being and your input may not be followed.

I detest the idea of using formula, but I keep getting the feeling that

this mother really isn't committed to breastfeeding. Maybe I have been

reading the posts wrong, but that's my impression. The lack of a weight

gain is troubling.

I will be interested in reading what Wendi and Margaret suggest at this

point.

Amy W.

[Guest guest]

I have been following this topic since you first posted, and quite

frankly, I am very concerned.

First, is the mother suffering from postpartum depression? I get the

impression that she might not be very aware of what is happening with

her baby (not nursing because she didn't want to expose herself, etc.).

Secondly, if there is a cashflow problem, then she needs to immediately

get public assistance. She needs to go back to the hospital and ask for

a social worker to help. Lack of money is no excuse for depriving a

child.

Is this child really ill or is he just in the hands of an inexperienced

mother? I got the impression from some of the earlier postings that the

mother didn't seem to be very dedicated to breastfeeding.

I know that mistakes are easy to make as a first-time mother, but with

your support, things should be turning around rather than continuing

downhill. I wish I could be there to give all of you a big hug, but

please just remember that you are in my thoughts.

As a grandparent, you are in a very awkward position. The baby's parents

are responsible for his well-being and your input may not be followed.

I detest the idea of using formula, but I keep getting the feeling that

this mother really isn't committed to breastfeeding. Maybe I have been

reading the posts wrong, but that's my impression. The lack of a weight

gain is troubling.

I will be interested in reading what Wendi and Margaret suggest at this

point.

Amy W.

[Guest guest]

scottsdale, arizona

[Guest guest]

scottsdale, arizona

[Guest guest]

scottsdale, arizona

[Guest guest]

she has two other kids. my son wanted her to nurse this baby. i dont know

how dedicated she was. she said she will try. she feels she gave it a try

and it was not working out. she is a skinny person and does not like food.

so that is y she is not eating. i dont think cameron is ill. i just think he

needs food. she was sick almost everyday of her pregnancy. she is under a

ton of stress, she i think is bi polar, its a messy thing if u ask me. now

her and my son mixed up in messes is one thing but my grandson is another

story.

[Guest guest]

she has two other kids. my son wanted her to nurse this baby. i dont know

how dedicated she was. she said she will try. she feels she gave it a try

and it was not working out. she is a skinny person and does not like food.

so that is y she is not eating. i dont think cameron is ill. i just think he

needs food. she was sick almost everyday of her pregnancy. she is under a

ton of stress, she i think is bi polar, its a messy thing if u ask me. now

her and my son mixed up in messes is one thing but my grandson is another

story.

[Guest guest]

she has two other kids. my son wanted her to nurse this baby. i dont know

how dedicated she was. she said she will try. she feels she gave it a try

and it was not working out. she is a skinny person and does not like food.

so that is y she is not eating. i dont think cameron is ill. i just think he

needs food. she was sick almost everyday of her pregnancy. she is under a

ton of stress, she i think is bi polar, its a messy thing if u ask me. now

her and my son mixed up in messes is one thing but my grandson is another

story.

[Guest guest]

Shaa,

Have your DIL call this number and find a leader in her area or at least

talk to a leader on the phone and get some information and referrals.

Wendi

http://www.lactivist.com

breastfeeding info & resources

Re: Please help.

scottsdale, arizona

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http://www.lactivist.com

[Guest guest]

ok if she will. my son just told me she has not touched the baby all day.

wont hold him or talk to him. it seems like she has rejected him. have u

heard of this you guys????

[Guest guest]

ok if she will. my son just told me she has not touched the baby all day.

wont hold him or talk to him. it seems like she has rejected him. have u

heard of this you guys????

[Guest guest]

Shaa,

One pound in two weeks sounds like an excellent weight gain to me!

[Guest guest]

Shaa,

One pound in two weeks sounds like an excellent weight gain to me!

[Guest guest]

Shaa,

One pound in two weeks sounds like an excellent weight gain to me!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 05/17/2000 2:36:05 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

shaa@... writes:

<< ok if she will. my son just told me she has not touched the baby all day.

wont hold him or talk to him. it seems like she has rejected him. have u

heard of this you guys???? >>

This sounds very much like she is suffering from postpartum depression. I

have been staying out of this discussion up until this point. You really

need to get your daughter in law in touch with the Le Leche League. Wendi

gave you the phone #. If you cannot reason with the baby's mother than

perhaps you can go to your son and have him call for her.

Babies do not need formula to thrive. In my experience, formula causes more

problems than anything else. If this baby is spitting up the formula, I

would take that as an indication that the formula is making matters worse.

Mommy needs to relax, take off her shirt, take the baby to her bed, lay down

and let this baby nurse whenever he wants. If the baby tries to latch on 5

times in 20 minutes than let him. She needs to encourage the baby to nurse

as often and as long as possible.

Someone needs to tell her that her body is completely capable of feeding this

baby (just as it did when the baby was in her uterus). Her lack of interest

in eating may also be part of the postpartum depression. The good thing is

that her body can still produce milk and enough of it to feed this baby.

As for the pumping, she needs to do this after she has nursed the baby. The

milk should be stored in the freezer for later use. She should not be

putting this milk in bottles and giving it to the baby just yet. He is too

young and will become confused going back and forth from breast to bottle.

The pumping is not to make milk for bottles, it is to help stimulate her body

into making more milk.

All the words that come out of your mouth or your son's mouth need to be

supportive, understanding and caring. You need to place your words carefully

so that she knows you are trying to help. Do not let your worry show through

your words, be confident and let it show that you are sure that she as a

women and mother can do this!

If you are unclear of something or need more advice, these women are here to

help.

<3 B

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 05/17/2000 2:36:05 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

shaa@... writes:

<< ok if she will. my son just told me she has not touched the baby all day.

wont hold him or talk to him. it seems like she has rejected him. have u

heard of this you guys???? >>

This sounds very much like she is suffering from postpartum depression. I

have been staying out of this discussion up until this point. You really

need to get your daughter in law in touch with the Le Leche League. Wendi

gave you the phone #. If you cannot reason with the baby's mother than

perhaps you can go to your son and have him call for her.

Babies do not need formula to thrive. In my experience, formula causes more

problems than anything else. If this baby is spitting up the formula, I

would take that as an indication that the formula is making matters worse.

Mommy needs to relax, take off her shirt, take the baby to her bed, lay down

and let this baby nurse whenever he wants. If the baby tries to latch on 5

times in 20 minutes than let him. She needs to encourage the baby to nurse

as often and as long as possible.

Someone needs to tell her that her body is completely capable of feeding this

baby (just as it did when the baby was in her uterus). Her lack of interest

in eating may also be part of the postpartum depression. The good thing is

that her body can still produce milk and enough of it to feed this baby.

As for the pumping, she needs to do this after she has nursed the baby. The

milk should be stored in the freezer for later use. She should not be

putting this milk in bottles and giving it to the baby just yet. He is too

young and will become confused going back and forth from breast to bottle.

The pumping is not to make milk for bottles, it is to help stimulate her body

into making more milk.

All the words that come out of your mouth or your son's mouth need to be

supportive, understanding and caring. You need to place your words carefully

so that she knows you are trying to help. Do not let your worry show through

your words, be confident and let it show that you are sure that she as a

women and mother can do this!

If you are unclear of something or need more advice, these women are here to

help.

<3 B

[Guest guest]

Shaa, 1 lb is exceelent in 2 weeks, my daughter did not gain anything her

first 2 weeks, but her birth weight back. 1 lb is really good at 2 weeks,

especially for breastfeeding, since the milk does not come in until a few

days after birth. her DR is misleading her, she should stil continue to

breastfeed. her milk is fine, if she has to give her formula she should cup

feed it to him, and not give him a bottle at all.

Beckie and Mikayla 2/17/00

>

>Reply-To: breastfeedingegroups

>To: <breastfeedingegroups>

>Subject: Re: Please help.

>Date: Tue, 16 May 2000 19:26:25 -0700

>

>well the latest is. she took him to the dr. today and the dr. was very

>concerned about his weight. i think he gained 1 lb in his two weeks of

>life.

>so he said here give this to him no breast milk just this formula. if this

>dont work there is one more we can try.

>oh i breathed a sigh of relief.

>did that too soon. he threw up twice taking the formula.and of course they

>cannot get a hold of the dr. she is about to loose it.

>so am i. i feel soooo sorry for that dear precious grand son of mine.i just

>dont know what they can do now. except the one more the dr. has. thing

>about

>it is that they have a cash flow problem and he has not been to work since

>he has been born. then he is going to work half days which means half of

>what he did make. that worries me to death.

>they are not married. so i dont know if she can get on wic. i think there

>is a hold up somehow. needless to say i am sad and have been crying over

>this.

>

________________________________________________________________________

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com

[Guest guest]

Shaa, 1 lb is exceelent in 2 weeks, my daughter did not gain anything her

first 2 weeks, but her birth weight back. 1 lb is really good at 2 weeks,

especially for breastfeeding, since the milk does not come in until a few

days after birth. her DR is misleading her, she should stil continue to

breastfeed. her milk is fine, if she has to give her formula she should cup

feed it to him, and not give him a bottle at all.

Beckie and Mikayla 2/17/00

>

>Reply-To: breastfeedingegroups

>To: <breastfeedingegroups>

>Subject: Re: Please help.

>Date: Tue, 16 May 2000 19:26:25 -0700

>

>well the latest is. she took him to the dr. today and the dr. was very

>concerned about his weight. i think he gained 1 lb in his two weeks of

>life.

>so he said here give this to him no breast milk just this formula. if this

>dont work there is one more we can try.

>oh i breathed a sigh of relief.

>did that too soon. he threw up twice taking the formula.and of course they

>cannot get a hold of the dr. she is about to loose it.

>so am i. i feel soooo sorry for that dear precious grand son of mine.i just

>dont know what they can do now. except the one more the dr. has. thing

>about

>it is that they have a cash flow problem and he has not been to work since

>he has been born. then he is going to work half days which means half of

>what he did make. that worries me to death.

>they are not married. so i dont know if she can get on wic. i think there

>is a hold up somehow. needless to say i am sad and have been crying over

>this.

>

________________________________________________________________________

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com

[Guest guest]

Shaa, 1 lb is exceelent in 2 weeks, my daughter did not gain anything her

first 2 weeks, but her birth weight back. 1 lb is really good at 2 weeks,

especially for breastfeeding, since the milk does not come in until a few

days after birth. her DR is misleading her, she should stil continue to

breastfeed. her milk is fine, if she has to give her formula she should cup

feed it to him, and not give him a bottle at all.

Beckie and Mikayla 2/17/00

>

>Reply-To: breastfeedingegroups

>To: <breastfeedingegroups>

>Subject: Re: Please help.

>Date: Tue, 16 May 2000 19:26:25 -0700

>

>well the latest is. she took him to the dr. today and the dr. was very

>concerned about his weight. i think he gained 1 lb in his two weeks of

>life.

>so he said here give this to him no breast milk just this formula. if this

>dont work there is one more we can try.

>oh i breathed a sigh of relief.

>did that too soon. he threw up twice taking the formula.and of course they

>cannot get a hold of the dr. she is about to loose it.

>so am i. i feel soooo sorry for that dear precious grand son of mine.i just

>dont know what they can do now. except the one more the dr. has. thing

>about

>it is that they have a cash flow problem and he has not been to work since

>he has been born. then he is going to work half days which means half of

>what he did make. that worries me to death.

>they are not married. so i dont know if she can get on wic. i think there

>is a hold up somehow. needless to say i am sad and have been crying over

>this.

>

________________________________________________________________________

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com

[Guest guest]

Very much agree about the PostPartum Depression. I think she needs to get

evaluated ASAP. Stress and worries and sleeplessness all contribute to

making PPD worse and if she has a history of depression then she is more

vulnerable to PPD.

Hope things work out. Call LLL ASAP

jen

Re: Please help.

>In a message dated 05/17/2000 2:36:05 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

>shaa@... writes:

>

><< ok if she will. my son just told me she has not touched the baby all

day.

> wont hold him or talk to him. it seems like she has rejected him. have u

> heard of this you guys???? >>

>

>This sounds very much like she is suffering from postpartum depression. I

>have been staying out of this discussion up until this point. You really

>need to get your daughter in law in touch with the Le Leche League. Wendi

>gave you the phone #. If you cannot reason with the baby's mother than

>perhaps you can go to your son and have him call for her.

>

[Guest guest]

Very much agree about the PostPartum Depression. I think she needs to get

evaluated ASAP. Stress and worries and sleeplessness all contribute to

making PPD worse and if she has a history of depression then she is more

vulnerable to PPD.

Hope things work out. Call LLL ASAP

jen

Re: Please help.

>In a message dated 05/17/2000 2:36:05 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

>shaa@... writes:

>

><< ok if she will. my son just told me she has not touched the baby all

day.

> wont hold him or talk to him. it seems like she has rejected him. have u

> heard of this you guys???? >>

>

>This sounds very much like she is suffering from postpartum depression. I

>have been staying out of this discussion up until this point. You really

>need to get your daughter in law in touch with the Le Leche League. Wendi

>gave you the phone #. If you cannot reason with the baby's mother than

>perhaps you can go to your son and have him call for her.

>

[Guest guest]

I think that it might be more than PPD. I had some 'baby blues' but I

never got to the point where not touching my baby was an option. You

have indicated that you think that she has other medical and emotional

issues. Has she seen anyone besides the ped or the LC to discuss any

of this?

Weight gain seems fine but we cannot 'see' the whole picture. A

jaundiced baby needs to be fed. Period. If she is not committed to

breastfeeding, and it doesn't sound like she is, then formula may be

the only answer. I am a die-hard breastfeeding advocate but when

things are amiss like this, something needs to give. The baby needs

FED. If he is throwing up regular formula, the pre-digested stuff may

work better but it is $20 per CAN. She needs to get to WIC and apply

for assistance. WIC can sometimes help with a pump too. I believe that

they count everyone in the house as a household including your son and

her other kids. Does she work? Other programs may be available for

them too.

The doctor does not sound very supportive of BF but then he is there

and knows what is going on. Whet was the baby's birth weight? And what

does he weigh now? Sometimes it takes 2-3 weeks to get back to birth

weight and a lot of factors go into that. How was the birth? Lots of

IV fluids? Medications? Interventions?

I know this seems like 20 questions but until now it sounded like a

matter of just having her nurse more often. Now I don't know that it

is. Please call LLL and see if someone can go to her home and visit.

Call the LC where she delivered and let them know about what is going

on. Your DIL needs help and she needs it NOW.

Jenn

-----Original Message-----

From: Shaa [sMTP:shaa@...]

ok if she will. my son just told me she has not touched the baby all

day. wont hold him or talk to him. it seems like she has rejected him.

have u heard of this you guys????

my son wanted her to nurse this baby. i dont know how dedicated she

was. she said she will try. she feels she gave it a try and it was not

working out.