NEw Member

[Guest guest]

,

You might look at low-carb diets.... Low-fat diets can make insulin

resistance worse, and you won't lose weight no matter how well you diet.

I'm sorry about your husband, but I cannot read in your letter what value he

is to you? What do you get out of living with him? If it was me, I sure

wouldn't be interested in sex in your situation-- exhausted, sick,

slaving.... So what? Go live with your mom, at least she acts like a friend

to you. I made a big mistake with my first marriage-- absolutely was

determined to stay married, absolutely would not consider divorce. Now, I

still believe very strongly in commitment, and I don't expect anyone to be

perfect, but all those years I wasted with him. I look back and can

understand about making a mistake, but can't understand why it took me 7

years to get it. And now I am in the marriage made in heaven. That wouldn't

have happened... Anyway, of course you will decide, but truly I believe you

deserve AND NEED support. He sounds like as much work as the baby. Sorry,

once they're 18 they can pretty much be responsible for themselves in my

book. And as far as not having time for this disease, the more you try to

ignore it and take care of everyone else instead of yourself, the worse it

will get. I am sure you don't want to be disabled before your son is even in

school. Sorry for yelling, but what makes that man you married as helpless as

a child? You know, an 8 year old can make his own sandwiches. I better shut

up. Laurel

wrote:

> Hi folks,

>

> Can you help/advise? Had a back pain, joint pain in my hands,

> shoulders etc, my GP mentioned casually that 'some people' have what

> he describes as 'old fashioned rheumatics' otherwise known as

> fibromyalgia nowadays. I'm a 24 old mother of one boy aged 15 months

> and work full time. I thought the aches and pains were something to

> do with having such a hectic lifestyle but since researching a bit on

> the net I see that I have many of the symptoms associated with this

> condition.

>

> I am a couple of stone overweight since having my baby and although I

> follow a low fat healthy diet I just can't shift it. I think its

> because of the lack of real exercise - I also have a complaint called

> Symphsysis Pubis Dysfunction which is seperation of the pelvis due to

> pregnancy and this stops me doing swimming, aerobics and walking for

> long periods. So apart from losing weight what can I do to help

> myself??

>

> I also have a very disturbed sleep pattern because of the wee one, as

> I said before he's 15 months old and has only slept through about 10

> nights in his whole life!

>

> I'm a bit bewildered by all this, the very way in which my GP spoke

> about it suggested to me that there's not a lot of help for

> Fibromyalgia, he said there were no tests that could be done and

> there were no cures. I do have a partner but he's less than useless

> (god bless him!) in the house and with the baby. He's interested in

> the baby but, and I quote (excuse the language) he's " been working

> all day and can't be arsed doing anything other than eating and

> sleeping " when he comes home. I do all the cooking, all the washing-

> up, always bath the baby every night, make his sandwiches for the

> next day and then I think of myself. I'm not trying to sound like a

> martyr but basically if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

>

> My Mum is an absolute gem, she looks after our son everyday while I

> work and does a lot of my housekeeping for me when she is able.

> Without her I would have cracked up a long time ago.

>

> So, in conclusion what can I do to make myself better? I don't have

> time for this illness and there is no compromise in my life to be

> made.

>

> Thanks for your help and for listening,

>

>

>

> P.S. I have v.heavy periods, v.irritable bowels, tired (obviously)

> and am on anti-d's for post natal depression.

>

>

> SEND POST TO: fibromyalgia-cfs

> TO SUBSCRIBE: fibromyalgia-cfs-subscribe

>

[Guest guest]

,

You might look at low-carb diets.... Low-fat diets can make insulin

resistance worse, and you won't lose weight no matter how well you diet.

I'm sorry about your husband, but I cannot read in your letter what value he

is to you? What do you get out of living with him? If it was me, I sure

wouldn't be interested in sex in your situation-- exhausted, sick,

slaving.... So what? Go live with your mom, at least she acts like a friend

to you. I made a big mistake with my first marriage-- absolutely was

determined to stay married, absolutely would not consider divorce. Now, I

still believe very strongly in commitment, and I don't expect anyone to be

perfect, but all those years I wasted with him. I look back and can

understand about making a mistake, but can't understand why it took me 7

years to get it. And now I am in the marriage made in heaven. That wouldn't

have happened... Anyway, of course you will decide, but truly I believe you

deserve AND NEED support. He sounds like as much work as the baby. Sorry,

once they're 18 they can pretty much be responsible for themselves in my

book. And as far as not having time for this disease, the more you try to

ignore it and take care of everyone else instead of yourself, the worse it

will get. I am sure you don't want to be disabled before your son is even in

school. Sorry for yelling, but what makes that man you married as helpless as

a child? You know, an 8 year old can make his own sandwiches. I better shut

up. Laurel

wrote:

> Hi folks,

>

> Can you help/advise? Had a back pain, joint pain in my hands,

> shoulders etc, my GP mentioned casually that 'some people' have what

> he describes as 'old fashioned rheumatics' otherwise known as

> fibromyalgia nowadays. I'm a 24 old mother of one boy aged 15 months

> and work full time. I thought the aches and pains were something to

> do with having such a hectic lifestyle but since researching a bit on

> the net I see that I have many of the symptoms associated with this

> condition.

>

> I am a couple of stone overweight since having my baby and although I

> follow a low fat healthy diet I just can't shift it. I think its

> because of the lack of real exercise - I also have a complaint called

> Symphsysis Pubis Dysfunction which is seperation of the pelvis due to

> pregnancy and this stops me doing swimming, aerobics and walking for

> long periods. So apart from losing weight what can I do to help

> myself??

>

> I also have a very disturbed sleep pattern because of the wee one, as

> I said before he's 15 months old and has only slept through about 10

> nights in his whole life!

>

> I'm a bit bewildered by all this, the very way in which my GP spoke

> about it suggested to me that there's not a lot of help for

> Fibromyalgia, he said there were no tests that could be done and

> there were no cures. I do have a partner but he's less than useless

> (god bless him!) in the house and with the baby. He's interested in

> the baby but, and I quote (excuse the language) he's " been working

> all day and can't be arsed doing anything other than eating and

> sleeping " when he comes home. I do all the cooking, all the washing-

> up, always bath the baby every night, make his sandwiches for the

> next day and then I think of myself. I'm not trying to sound like a

> martyr but basically if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

>

> My Mum is an absolute gem, she looks after our son everyday while I

> work and does a lot of my housekeeping for me when she is able.

> Without her I would have cracked up a long time ago.

>

> So, in conclusion what can I do to make myself better? I don't have

> time for this illness and there is no compromise in my life to be

> made.

>

> Thanks for your help and for listening,

>

>

>

> P.S. I have v.heavy periods, v.irritable bowels, tired (obviously)

> and am on anti-d's for post natal depression.

>

>

> SEND POST TO: fibromyalgia-cfs

> TO SUBSCRIBE: fibromyalgia-cfs-subscribe

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Pat in St Louis,

Thanks for your response. I sound like a doormat! The truth is that I'm

scared to rock the boat with him, I do love him but he can be very immature

and highly strung. He doesn't treat me bad at all apart from perhaps being

a bit negligent as far as the work keeping house entails. I'm afraid my

thoughts are a bit like " Anything for a quiet life " as far as he's

concerned.

Thanks for your welcome, I will go back to perhaps a different GP and ask

for more info on this condition. He just didn't seem very impressed by the

whole thing, like he didn't believe it existed.

Thanks anyway and I'll look forward to reading that online book you

mentioned.

Cheers,

>

>Reply-To:

>To:

>Subject: Re: New member

>Date: Thu, 05 Apr 2001 20:24:40 -0000

>

>Hi , Welcome, there's a lot of great folks with support for you

>here. Go here first http://www.fmnetnews.com/ It has a lot of info

>for you about fibromyalgia. Ask your GP for a referal to a

>rheumatologist for the most knowledgeable care. I had just found an

>online book from a physician in England who you might have access to

>depending on your location. I'll send it to you after this note.

>You work, your mate works; you come home and keep working and he goes

>to bed -- what's wrong with this pciture? I know I couldn't put up

>with it for long. Sorry but I'm opinionated.

>Glad to meet you, Pat in St. Louis

>

>

>

> > Hi folks,

> >

> > Can you help/advise? Had a back pain, joint pain in my hands,

> > shoulders etc, my GP mentioned casually that 'some people' have

>what

> > he describes as 'old fashioned rheumatics' otherwise known as

> > fibromyalgia nowadays. I'm a 24 old mother of one boy aged 15

>months

> > and work full time. I thought the aches and pains were something

>to

> > do with having such a hectic lifestyle but since researching a bit

>on

> > the net I see that I have many of the symptoms associated with this

> > condition.

> >

> > I am a couple of stone overweight since having my baby and although

>I

> > follow a low fat healthy diet I just can't shift it. I think its

> > because of the lack of real exercise - I also have a complaint

>called

> > Symphsysis Pubis Dysfunction which is seperation of the pelvis due

>to

> > pregnancy and this stops me doing swimming, aerobics and walking

>for

> > long periods. So apart from losing weight what can I do to help

> > myself??

> >

> > I also have a very disturbed sleep pattern because of the wee one,

>as

> > I said before he's 15 months old and has only slept through about

>10

> > nights in his whole life!

> >

> > I'm a bit bewildered by all this, the very way in which my GP spoke

> > about it suggested to me that there's not a lot of help for

> > Fibromyalgia, he said there were no tests that could be done and

> > there were no cures. I do have a partner but he's less than

>useless

> > (god bless him!) in the house and with the baby. He's interested

>in

> > the baby but, and I quote (excuse the language) he's " been working

> > all day and can't be arsed doing anything other than eating and

> > sleeping " when he comes home. I do all the cooking, all the

>washing-

> > up, always bath the baby every night, make his sandwiches for the

> > next day and then I think of myself. I'm not trying to sound like

>a

> > martyr but basically if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

> >

> > My Mum is an absolute gem, she looks after our son everyday while I

> > work and does a lot of my housekeeping for me when she is able.

> > Without her I would have cracked up a long time ago.

> >

> > So, in conclusion what can I do to make myself better? I don't

>have

> > time for this illness and there is no compromise in my life to be

> > made.

> >

> > Thanks for your help and for listening,

> >

> >

> >

> > P.S. I have v.heavy periods, v.irritable bowels, tired (obviously)

> > and am on anti-d's for post natal depression.

>

_________________________________________________________________________

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.

[Guest guest]

Jillie,

Yeah I know. I guess I just have to accept that I am ill a bit and either

he does his bit or we have a 'messie hoose'. Listen girls, I haven't made

sandwiches for three days now!! :) He's probably starving to death at

work. Ha Ha

>

>Reply-To:

>To: < >

>Subject: Re: New member

>Date: Thu, 5 Apr 2001 13:29:57 -0700

>

>I sure agree with this about having your mate help out with chores, etc.

>Now if I did not work, I would try to do all I could to support my husband

>working....but since we both work, he digs in and does more around here

>than I do....he can do it faster, :-(

>Then we actually have time to sit on the porch and visit and wave to

>neighbors. One person just can't carry the load, even if they were super

>healthy.

>Jill

> RE: New member

>

>

>

> I am a couple of stone overweight since having my baby and although I

> follow a low fat healthy diet I just can't shift it. I think its

> because of the lack of real exercise - I also have a complaint called

> Symphsysis Pubis Dysfunction which is seperation of the pelvis due to

> pregnancy and this stops me doing swimming, aerobics and walking for

> long periods. So apart from losing weight what can I do to help

> myself??

>

>

> Could you maybe do a little light weight lifting to build up some

>muscles??

> Muscles burn more calories than fat, so if you increased your muscles,

>that

> might help a bit. Also I think there are exercises that can be done

>while

> sitting in a chair. You might be able to find a book in the library or

> something on the web.

>

>

> I do have a partner but he's less than useless

> (god bless him!) in the house and with the baby. He's interested in

> the baby but, and I quote (excuse the language) he's " been working

> all day and can't be arsed doing anything other than eating and

> sleeping " when he comes home. I do all the cooking, all the washing-

> up, always bath the baby every night, make his sandwiches for the

> next day and then I think of myself. I'm not trying to sound like a

> martyr but basically if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

>

> Might I suggest that you start letting your partner do his own making up

>of

> his sandwiches and his own laundry?? I have a very cooperative husband

>so I

> don't have this problem, but I have seen articles before where the Mom

>of

> the family goes on strike and does for either just herself or herself

>and

> the kids. It seems to help, but I don't know your situation. When your

> partner has to either make up sandwiches or go hungry (or buy his own

>lunch

> every day), and either wear dirty clothes or do his own laundry, he may

>wake

> up a bit. I know it did wake up my husband when we were separated on

> different continents for six months, and I stopped sending my almost

>daily

> letters because he'd write once a week, maybe. After he saw how it felt

>not

> to get the mail, he was much better about writing. Remember you have a

> illness and need to take care of yourself too!

>

>

>

> So, in conclusion what can I do to make myself better? I don't have

> time for this illness and there is no compromise in my life to be

> made.

>

>

> You're going to have to take time for this illness. I've only recently

> realized that fibro is my latest illness and it irks me that I can't

>have

> the life I've been having, but you have to take the time or you'll just

>wear

> yourself out.

>

>

>

>

> Welcome to the group.

> Darcy

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Laurel,

Thanks for your reply. He's maybe not as bad as I made him sound but I have

to admit I have thought about leaving sometimes when he's being infantile -

I always make excuses for him though as his mum is an alcoholic and he's

been through some shit (and continues to). Me and Lucas (our son) are all

he's got. I suppose I'm just going to have to break him into adult hood

gently eh??

I'm dependant on this relationship as I'm already a divorcee (I'm 24!!) and

we're not actually married so the house etc is not mine - its in his name.

What am I saying?? I don't want to leave him anyway!! The good times are

good and are about 70% of the time. I just have to make him grow up and

help me a bit more. Lets face it, if Lucas doesn't get a bath one night its

not the end of the world.

Thanks for your comments on low carb diets, will look into it.

Cheers,

>

>Reply-To:

>To:

>Subject: Re: New member

>Date: Thu, 05 Apr 2001 22:22:21 -0700

>

>,

>You might look at low-carb diets.... Low-fat diets can make insulin

>resistance worse, and you won't lose weight no matter how well you diet.

>I'm sorry about your husband, but I cannot read in your letter what value

>he

>is to you? What do you get out of living with him? If it was me, I sure

>wouldn't be interested in sex in your situation-- exhausted, sick,

>slaving.... So what? Go live with your mom, at least she acts like a

>friend

>to you. I made a big mistake with my first marriage-- absolutely was

>determined to stay married, absolutely would not consider divorce. Now, I

>still believe very strongly in commitment, and I don't expect anyone to be

>perfect, but all those years I wasted with him. I look back and can

>understand about making a mistake, but can't understand why it took me 7

>years to get it. And now I am in the marriage made in heaven. That

>wouldn't

>have happened... Anyway, of course you will decide, but truly I believe

>you

>deserve AND NEED support. He sounds like as much work as the baby. Sorry,

>once they're 18 they can pretty much be responsible for themselves in my

>book. And as far as not having time for this disease, the more you try to

>ignore it and take care of everyone else instead of yourself, the worse it

>will get. I am sure you don't want to be disabled before your son is even

>in

>school. Sorry for yelling, but what makes that man you married as helpless

>as

>a child? You know, an 8 year old can make his own sandwiches. I better

>shut

>up. Laurel

>

> wrote:

>

> > Hi folks,

> >

> > Can you help/advise? Had a back pain, joint pain in my hands,

> > shoulders etc, my GP mentioned casually that 'some people' have what

> > he describes as 'old fashioned rheumatics' otherwise known as

> > fibromyalgia nowadays. I'm a 24 old mother of one boy aged 15 months

> > and work full time. I thought the aches and pains were something to

> > do with having such a hectic lifestyle but since researching a bit on

> > the net I see that I have many of the symptoms associated with this

> > condition.

> >

> > I am a couple of stone overweight since having my baby and although I

> > follow a low fat healthy diet I just can't shift it. I think its

> > because of the lack of real exercise - I also have a complaint called

> > Symphsysis Pubis Dysfunction which is seperation of the pelvis due to

> > pregnancy and this stops me doing swimming, aerobics and walking for

> > long periods. So apart from losing weight what can I do to help

> > myself??

> >

> > I also have a very disturbed sleep pattern because of the wee one, as

> > I said before he's 15 months old and has only slept through about 10

> > nights in his whole life!

> >

> > I'm a bit bewildered by all this, the very way in which my GP spoke

> > about it suggested to me that there's not a lot of help for

> > Fibromyalgia, he said there were no tests that could be done and

> > there were no cures. I do have a partner but he's less than useless

> > (god bless him!) in the house and with the baby. He's interested in

> > the baby but, and I quote (excuse the language) he's " been working

> > all day and can't be arsed doing anything other than eating and

> > sleeping " when he comes home. I do all the cooking, all the washing-

> > up, always bath the baby every night, make his sandwiches for the

> > next day and then I think of myself. I'm not trying to sound like a

> > martyr but basically if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

> >

> > My Mum is an absolute gem, she looks after our son everyday while I

> > work and does a lot of my housekeeping for me when she is able.

> > Without her I would have cracked up a long time ago.

> >

> > So, in conclusion what can I do to make myself better? I don't have

> > time for this illness and there is no compromise in my life to be

> > made.

> >

> > Thanks for your help and for listening,

> >

> >

> >

> > P.S. I have v.heavy periods, v.irritable bowels, tired (obviously)

> > and am on anti-d's for post natal depression.

> >

> >

> > SEND POST TO: fibromyalgia-cfs

> > TO SUBSCRIBE: fibromyalgia-cfs-subscribe

> >

[Guest guest]

,

It's no crime to depend on someone. Just remember he's in this relationship for

good reasons of his own, and I really doubt it hangs on whether or not you make

sandwiches. I'm sure he likes that (I'd love it if someone made all my meals

and did all my laundry), but really, he's with you because of who you are, and

he is dependent on you (not for lunches). And if you don't feel cherished, he's

doing a lousy job of letting you know. (Same for you.) Anyway, whether or not

you make sandwiches (I am not making fun of that, it's just a good example) is

not the reason he's with you. There's something deeper. Otherwise he would

have been long gone at the first fight, or when you got sick, or whenever. So

if you can trust that deeper part, then you may be able to allow him to be more

responsible, and trust he won't starve if you nap. We go around saving people

who let us because it's easy, but they also resent that too, and don't get to

feel strong and confident when people treat them like babies. It's a catch-22;

you don't want to give up the benefits (free lunches) but still, you do want to

feel strong and mature. Let him grow a little while you do too. I agree the

baby's bath, and practically everything else, isn't that important. It's the

relationships, and you don't have to buy that with servitude. (Except for ages

0-5 lol )

As far as the hard childhood, he's not the only one. It may have helped make

his personality, but he is responsible for who he is and what he does, and you

don't have to take responsibility for that. Try taking the baby to an Alanon

meeting some night when you're frustrated. They know how to lovingly stop

taking inappropriate responsibility for people. (You can go even though he's

not alcoholic.)

Laurel

wrote:

> Hi Laurel,

>

> Thanks for your reply. He's maybe not as bad as I made him sound but I have

> to admit I have thought about leaving sometimes when he's being infantile -

> I always make excuses for him though as his mum is an alcoholic and he's

> been through some shit (and continues to). Me and Lucas (our son) are all

> he's got. I suppose I'm just going to have to break him into adult hood

> gently eh??

>

> I'm dependant on this relationship as I'm already a divorcee (I'm 24!!) and

> we're not actually married so the house etc is not mine - its in his name.

> What am I saying?? I don't want to leave him anyway!! The good times are

> good and are about 70% of the time. I just have to make him grow up and

> help me a bit more. Lets face it, if Lucas doesn't get a bath one night its

> not the end of the world.

>

> Thanks for your comments on low carb diets, will look into it.

>

> Cheers,

>

>

>

> >

> >Reply-To:

> >To:

> >Subject: Re: New member

> >Date: Thu, 05 Apr 2001 22:22:21 -0700

> >

> >,

> >You might look at low-carb diets.... Low-fat diets can make insulin

> >resistance worse, and you won't lose weight no matter how well you diet.

> >I'm sorry about your husband, but I cannot read in your letter what value

> >he

> >is to you? What do you get out of living with him? If it was me, I sure

> >wouldn't be interested in sex in your situation-- exhausted, sick,

> >slaving.... So what? Go live with your mom, at least she acts like a

> >friend

> >to you. I made a big mistake with my first marriage-- absolutely was

> >determined to stay married, absolutely would not consider divorce. Now, I

> >still believe very strongly in commitment, and I don't expect anyone to be

> >perfect, but all those years I wasted with him. I look back and can

> >understand about making a mistake, but can't understand why it took me 7

> >years to get it. And now I am in the marriage made in heaven. That

> >wouldn't

> >have happened... Anyway, of course you will decide, but truly I believe

> >you

> >deserve AND NEED support. He sounds like as much work as the baby. Sorry,

> >once they're 18 they can pretty much be responsible for themselves in my

> >book. And as far as not having time for this disease, the more you try to

> >ignore it and take care of everyone else instead of yourself, the worse it

> >will get. I am sure you don't want to be disabled before your son is even

> >in

> >school. Sorry for yelling, but what makes that man you married as helpless

> >as

> >a child? You know, an 8 year old can make his own sandwiches. I better

> >shut

> >up. Laurel

> >

> > wrote:

> >

> > > Hi folks,

> > >

> > > Can you help/advise? Had a back pain, joint pain in my hands,

> > > shoulders etc, my GP mentioned casually that 'some people' have what

> > > he describes as 'old fashioned rheumatics' otherwise known as

> > > fibromyalgia nowadays. I'm a 24 old mother of one boy aged 15 months

> > > and work full time. I thought the aches and pains were something to

> > > do with having such a hectic lifestyle but since researching a bit on

> > > the net I see that I have many of the symptoms associated with this

> > > condition.

> > >

> > > I am a couple of stone overweight since having my baby and although I

> > > follow a low fat healthy diet I just can't shift it. I think its

> > > because of the lack of real exercise - I also have a complaint called

> > > Symphsysis Pubis Dysfunction which is seperation of the pelvis due to

> > > pregnancy and this stops me doing swimming, aerobics and walking for

> > > long periods. So apart from losing weight what can I do to help

> > > myself??

> > >

> > > I also have a very disturbed sleep pattern because of the wee one, as

> > > I said before he's 15 months old and has only slept through about 10

> > > nights in his whole life!

> > >

> > > I'm a bit bewildered by all this, the very way in which my GP spoke

> > > about it suggested to me that there's not a lot of help for

> > > Fibromyalgia, he said there were no tests that could be done and

> > > there were no cures. I do have a partner but he's less than useless

> > > (god bless him!) in the house and with the baby. He's interested in

> > > the baby but, and I quote (excuse the language) he's " been working

> > > all day and can't be arsed doing anything other than eating and

> > > sleeping " when he comes home. I do all the cooking, all the washing-

> > > up, always bath the baby every night, make his sandwiches for the

> > > next day and then I think of myself. I'm not trying to sound like a

> > > martyr but basically if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

> > >

> > > My Mum is an absolute gem, she looks after our son everyday while I

> > > work and does a lot of my housekeeping for me when she is able.

> > > Without her I would have cracked up a long time ago.

> > >

> > > So, in conclusion what can I do to make myself better? I don't have

> > > time for this illness and there is no compromise in my life to be

> > > made.

> > >

> > > Thanks for your help and for listening,

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > P.S. I have v.heavy periods, v.irritable bowels, tired (obviously)

> > > and am on anti-d's for post natal depression.

> > >

> > >

> > > SEND POST TO: fibromyalgia-cfs

> > > TO SUBSCRIBE: fibromyalgia-cfs-subscribe

> > >

[Guest guest]

Yeah!!!!

wrote:

> he does his bit or we have a 'messie hoose'. Listen girls, I haven't made

> sandwiches for three days now!! :) He's probably starving to death at

AND IT " S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!

(kidding)

[Guest guest]

,

A lot of doctors don't believe that FMS exists. I am lucky that my Primary

Doctor does.

Irene

> He just didn't seem very impressed by the

> whole thing, like he didn't believe it existed.

>

[Guest guest]

,

Welcome to the group! Yup, if you need it, we offer it. *GRIN* Feel free to

just jump in, butt in, or start in...

Age: 34

Dx'd: early 1990s

Location: southeastern Vermont

Children: 1 four-legged furry one named Missy

Siblings: 3 sisters, 1 brother (I am the youngest)

Currently renting from mom, working for mom, and typing at home. I am

divorced and been with SO since 1997.

>

>Reply-To:

>To:

>Subject: new member

>Date: Wed, 09 May 2001 05:13:05 -0000

>

>Hi all,

>

>I just found this group and would like to stick around for awhile and

>see what I can learn from you and then maybe stick around a little

>longer for the company.

>

>I've had symptoms of fibromyalgia for 20 yrs. and I've been given

>different diagnosis. Right now the word is fibromyalgia. I'll

>really don't care what anyone calls it; it just feels the same to me.

>

>I've read a few of your posts and I'm sure I'm in the right place -

>seems I recognize most of the symptoms, complaints, medications, etc.

>

>My name is . I'm 47 yrs. old, married with 3 grown children and

>a 7 mo. old grandson. I would really like to be able to spend more

>time with and enjoy my family more but the body and mind often to not

>permit this.

>

>I have taken meds for so long that they have begun to damage my

>kidneys--so no more anti-inflamatories, which helped me. Just

>recently I've had to begin blood pressure meds. The battle never

>ends.

>

>I'm feeling rather depressed right now, I do hope your company will

>add a sparkle every now and then.

>

>Love to all,

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

> .

>

> Welcome. There are other things that might help. I cannot take

nsaids but I

> take pain medication, anti-depressionts. There is not a lot that

will really

> help as you would like but there are things that can be taken that

will

> relieve the pain. I would tell you some of them but I have fiber

fog and the

> brain has disconnected.

>

> Irene

>

>

> > I have taken meds for so long that they have begun to damage my

> > kidneys--so no more anti-inflamatories, which helped me. Just

> > recently I've had to begin blood pressure meds. The battle never

> >

>

> Irene,

Thanks for the welcome!

Fibro fog and brain disconnections---boy, does that sound familiar!

Love to ya,

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,,,,,golly, gosh darn, don't know if I welcomed you or not,,,gee!

So if I didn't I do now and if I did, it can't hurt to be welcomed

twice......whewwww!!!! LOL. This is a nice place to come and talk about

our lives. The people here are a good bunch as you have already seen.

I am a little older than you, 53 actually, and I can't believe I am that

old !!!! Where did the years go? And I have a birthday next month this

time, yikes!!!!!! So welcome. Jan M

[Guest guest]

Welcome ,

I recently posted a similar question. I have been talking to a lady that got

pregnant 6 months post op from her RNY. She lost 20 pounds with the

pregnancy and delivered a healthy 7 pound baby boy. I guess that it is

really true that the baby will take what he or she needs. I am just so happy

that I found this group so I can get reassurance from people who have already

had succesful pregnancies or people that are in the same stages as me.

Buckner

LAP RNY 8-23-00

pre-op weight 260

pre-prgnancy weight 186

due date: 12-15-01

[Guest guest]

Its reassuring to know on the one hand without sounding twisted but at

almost 2 yrs post op I have regained about 10 lbs from my lowest weight ..

stable now so I think this is my zone but I have been worried about gaining

too much more weight with the pregnancy .. I hope perhaps that while eating

sensibly, exercising and taking my vitamins that my weight gain won't be too

much at all

Lyssa

Re: New Member

Welcome ,

I recently posted a similar question. I have been talking to a lady that

got

pregnant 6 months post op from her RNY. She lost 20 pounds with the

pregnancy and delivered a healthy 7 pound baby boy. I guess that it is

really true that the baby will take what he or she needs. I am just so

happy

that I found this group so I can get reassurance from people who have

already

had succesful pregnancies or people that are in the same stages as me.

Buckner

LAP RNY 8-23-00

pre-op weight 260

pre-prgnancy weight 186

due date: 12-15-01

[Guest guest]

Hi , it is so great to meet you! Glad you came out of lurkdom. I'm

really sorry about the loss of your little boy. Hey... great username...

is it from Proverbs 15:18 ( " Losing your temper causes a lot of trouble,

but staying calm settles arguments. " )? That's a great thing to remember.

The drastic change in your system could be what made you more prone to

the marvelous side effects of pregnancy... LOL... and your age could

have something to do with it as well, although I don't think you're

*that* old... ha ha

Where in Kentucky? I have cousins in Bardstown.

-Kris

ListMom

: )

prov1518@... wrote:

> Hi y'all!! I've been reading all the posts for the past couple of

> weeks and

> decided to introduce myself. My name is and I live in KY. I'm

> 37 yrs.

> old, married for 10 yrs., and mother to 3 yr. old Hannah. I had RNY

> surgery

> in Feb. 2000 and lost 120 lbs. and was about 40 pounds from goal when

> I got

> pregnant (oh well!). Right now I'm at 18 wks. and really just getting

> over

> the worst first trimester EVER!!! Was it because of my surgery or

> just

> because I'm older? Who knows? My husband and I lost our 7 year old

> son this

> past December...Seth had multiple disabilities due to being born at 27

> weeks

> gestation (I have an incompetent cervix...but didn't know it until I

> was

> pregnant with him) so this baby is a double blessing...although we had

>

> decided to start trying in November, we kind of quit working at it

> after

> losing Seth...then SURPRISE!!!

> Anyway...I wanted to respond to the sleeping thread...Both of our

> children

> started out sleeping in their cribs...but eventually they worked their

> way

> into our bed. Seth was out and on his own for the most part by the

> time he

> was 3. On the other hand, Hannah didn't come to our bed until she

> figured

> out how to climb out of her crib at about 16 months old. She's 3 now

> and

> still sleeps with us for the most part. For my husband and I it just

> isn't

> an issue. We know that eventually she will make it to her own bed.

> Heck,

> someday we'll probably have to bribe her to spend ANY time with us!!!

> I

> think that you just have to do what feels right for you and your

> family...nobody else has to live with you...and the cool thing about

> having

> your own kids is YOU get to make the rules!!!! YEA!!

> So, anyway...that's me and my opinion...I'm not a real big

> poster...but am an

> avid reader...I enjoy hearing from you all every day. Good-bye for

> now.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Best of luck! WLS *can* affect fertility *if* your weight has been a

factor in preventing pgcy. But all the WLS in the world may not overcome

the age of your eggs... not to be mean at all, and I sincerely hope

you're successful, as long as you're aware that the chances are

significantly lower in your 40s. It *can* be done (ask Lenore!), but

it's not a guarantee.

Good luck, and happy trying! LOL

Kris

sandianz@... wrote:

> I had WLS June 13, 2000. I am down 130#s and feel wonderful. We

> have decided after all this time ( I am 45 yrs old) to try for one

> more child. I am estatic over this and hope to get pregnant soon. I

> was wondering thought the effects WLS has on pregnancy and about

> weight gain during pregnancy. My primary doc is all for me and has

> been very supportive during all of this. She will send me to a high

> risk OB though. Because of both my age and surgery. Any commentgs

> would be appreciated.

>

> sandi A.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Shirley,

I haven't had mine yet. I take one next week, which brings to mind can

someone explain the difference or what to expect. Supposedly I take a 1

hour test, and then if that's not good I have to schedule a, I believe, 3-5

hour test.

Dee P. G.

New Member

>

>

> I had WLS June 13, 2000. I am down 130#s and feel wonderful. We

> have decided after all this time ( I am 45 yrs old) to try for one

> more child. I am estatic over this and hope to get pregnant soon. I

> was wondering thought the effects WLS has on pregnancy and about

> weight gain during pregnancy. My primary doc is all for me and has

> been very supportive during all of this. She will send me to a high

> risk OB though. Because of both my age and surgery. Any commentgs

> would be appreciated.

>

> sandi A.

>

>

> Children are a reward from the Lord.

> Psalm 127:3

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/28/2001 8:49:55 AM Eastern Standard Time,

poppywill@... writes:

> I turned 29 two days ago and won't start trying until April. It is my

> personal preference not to have a child after 31. My husband is 38 now and

> would like to be a father before 40. My other children (step) are 11, 7

> 1/2 and 6. I don't want this baby to feel like it's part of a seperate

> family because of a large age difference.

Just thought I'd chime in here.. I was 22 yrs when I had my first child but

my hubby was 42yrs old. 23 & 43 with our 2nd child (they're 11mos apart and

wouldn't have done it any other way!)

We're kinda worried #3 will feel left out being far from #1 & 2 but ya know

there is 5yrs difference between my youngest brother and myself and 10yrs

between all the boys (3 of them) and no hard feelings went on! I have a

friend who specifically spread hers out with 6yrs inbetween each and she

wouldn't have it any other way! Life doesn't always give us what we plan or

want.. in fact my one friend is going to deliver baby #6 today!!!!!!! Her

first 4 are 11,10, & 8¾ (#4 was still born at 23wks) and her 5th one is a

1/5/00 baby which they thought they were through with having babies and

almost died during her childbirth (she did) and now is having baby #6 and

decided to just ask them to tie her tubes b/c she wasn't going to face

another pg she can't handle (she's now 38yrs old) so things happen when we

least expect them for a reason I'm certain!

Best wishes to all TTC & have " cutoff dates " of their own wishes... you all

can spread some of that TTC baby dust this way in a month or so! :0)

*~Joy~*

Lap RNY 2/26/01

Dr. N. Bertha, D.O.

@ town Memorial Hospital

town, NJ

Down 193lbs as of 11/11/01

Seeing the weightloss in MY eyes for the FIRST TIME!

Mommy to:

1-9-99

&

Saralyn

12-15-99

[Guest guest]

--

I don't know why you think i am taking it personally and I said nothing

about Pam's choice. She specifically asked the question regarding which to

do first and is concerned about diabetes while pregnant and I answered with

my positive experience. Further more if I offended Pam in any way I'm sure

she could choose not to listen to me or speak for herself. She did not seem

offended, she answered my question and I certainly respect her decision, it

appears to me that you are the one who does not respect me sharing my

experience. Kris-- sorry if this is nasty but I resent being judged by a

thrird party for what I offer in response to a question.

Lenore

New Member

>

>

> Hi! My name is Pam. I am considering a lap-band procedure.... am

actually

> in the midst of research.

>

> I am 30 years old with a 1-year-old-recently-weaned. I would like

to have

> more children, 2 or 3, but had terrible experince with #1... Glucose

> intolerance, migraines, severe back pain, sciatic nerve pain, C-

sect.

> etc.... I think I would be much better off if I could get some of

this

> weight off first, however, I would like to finish having babies

before I am

> 35. I am already a high-risk pregnancy...because I have previously

had a

> tubal pregnancy and miscarriage.

>

> My questions are: Must you wait until your weight stabilizes

before trying

> to conceive? Approximately how long will that take? Are you

allowed to

> nurse your infant? Do you suggest I finish with the babies first?

I am

> scared to death of getting full blown diabetes with insulin in the

next

> pregnancy!!

>

> Thank you! Pam

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry you feel that way Lenore that was not my goal.

New Member

>

>

> Hi! My name is Pam. I am considering a lap-band procedure.... am

actually

> in the midst of research.

>

> I am 30 years old with a 1-year-old-recently-weaned. I would like

to have

> more children, 2 or 3, but had terrible experince with #1... Glucose

> intolerance, migraines, severe back pain, sciatic nerve pain, C-

sect.

> etc.... I think I would be much better off if I could get some of

this

> weight off first, however, I would like to finish having babies

before I am

> 35. I am already a high-risk pregnancy...because I have previously

had a

> tubal pregnancy and miscarriage.

>

> My questions are: Must you wait until your weight stabilizes

before trying

> to conceive? Approximately how long will that take? Are you

allowed to

> nurse your infant? Do you suggest I finish with the babies first?

I am

> scared to death of getting full blown diabetes with insulin in the

next

> pregnancy!!

>

> Thank you! Pam

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

thank you for apologizing, admittedly I am having a bad day.

Re: Re: New Member

I'm sorry you feel that way Lenore that was not my goal.

New Member

>

>

> Hi! My name is Pam. I am considering a lap-band procedure.... am

actually

> in the midst of research.

>

> I am 30 years old with a 1-year-old-recently-weaned. I would like

to have

> more children, 2 or 3, but had terrible experince with #1... Glucose

> intolerance, migraines, severe back pain, sciatic nerve pain, C-

sect.

> etc.... I think I would be much better off if I could get some of

this

> weight off first, however, I would like to finish having babies

before I am

> 35. I am already a high-risk pregnancy...because I have previously

had a

> tubal pregnancy and miscarriage.

>

> My questions are: Must you wait until your weight stabilizes

before trying

> to conceive? Approximately how long will that take? Are you

allowed to

> nurse your infant? Do you suggest I finish with the babies first?

I am

> scared to death of getting full blown diabetes with insulin in the

next

> pregnancy!!

>

> Thank you! Pam

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I have about 150 # to lose.

Yes, the average risk of a tubal pregnancy is 1 in 100. The risk

increases to 1 in 10 if you have had a prior tubal pregnancy. In

addition, your fertility is compromised. Usually, a tubal pregnancy

results in that tube having to be tied off due to damage.

I have no information on the " comparison " of risks.... Maybe someone

else has that answer?

Pam

PS Congratulations on your great experience!

[Guest guest]

Amber

Surgery first. Then wait about 18 mos-2yrs at least to get as much of

the weight off as possible, when you stay the same for a good 6 mos you

will know that that is your new weight and having a baby won't slow

down, stop or otherwise affect your weight loss. After all, who would

willingly do that after going through everything we went through to lose

it?

However, if by chance you get prego earlier, it seems that most do just

fine...some do have a tad harder time reigning in their eating habits

though. I think I am doing just fine, but I was over 2 yrs post op. I

actually gained like 9 pounds after quitting smoking and I found out I

was 7 weeks pregnant, and then I said OMG! I gained 9 pounds! Freaked

out, started eating better and I have only gained 6 more in 3 mos. = a

total of 15 pounds from where I started.

Then after you finish having babies, you can get a Tummy Tuck like I am

going to!

Besides you are only 22, plenty of time to conceive. I was 23 with the

surgery, and am now 4 mos prego today and I am 26! (First and last one -

if its a girl!, I already have 2 stepkids~)

GOOD LUCK!

Shirley

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/17/2002 8:48:36 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

tjelms@... writes:

> Everyone seems really supportive here. I'm glad I found the way to

> your family!

> =)

> Tara

>

Hey Tara.. glad you joined! :0)

*~Joy~*

Lap RNY @ 491lbs

2/26/01

Dr. Bertha

town Memorial Hospital

Mommy to:

1-9-99

&

Saralyn

12-15-99

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Doreen. I am sorry to hear about yours, too.....It really

was aweful. Have you had any children since your WLS? I am just

afraid that I won't be able to have another one. I realize I'm soooo

blessed to have the one child that I am, but I don't want him to miss

out on having siblings!

Thanks for your note!

=)

Tara

> > Hi, everyone. I'm new to this club and thought I would tell

> everyone

> > a little about me.

> > My name is Tara, I had my Lap RNY on 3/6/01. I was 265 lbs. and

am

> > now 150. =)

> > That's the good news....

> > I got pregnant when I was 4 months post-op and had a miscarriage

at

> > 11 weeks. That was a horrible thing to go through and I am

worried

> > about trying again. I am NOT trying as of this time, because

there

> > are just too many things going on in my life right now. But, I

> > joined this group because I want to hear how everyone else is

> > doing...maybe just to ease my mind for when I DO decide to try

> again.

> > I have a 3 year old son and I do want him to have a baby brother

or

> > sister sometime! I just want my body to REALLY be ready next

time!

> > That's me in a nutshell...

> > Everyone seems really supportive here. I'm glad I found the way

to

> > your family!

> > =)

> > Tara

[Guest guest]

Thanks for telling me about this club, Joy!

=)

(for those of you who don't know...Joy and I had our WLS a month

apart by the same surgeon!)

=)

Tara

> In a message dated 4/17/2002 8:48:36 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

> tjelms@h... writes:

>

>

> > Everyone seems really supportive here. I'm glad I found the way

to

> > your family!

> > =)

> > Tara

> >

>

> Hey Tara.. glad you joined! :0)

>

> *~Joy~*

> Lap RNY @ 491lbs

> 2/26/01

> Dr. Bertha

> town Memorial Hospital

> Mommy to:

>

> 1-9-99

> &

> Saralyn

> 12-15-99

>

>

>

>