Guest guest Posted May 16, 2007 Report Share Posted May 16, 2007 My ex husband's name is Ed, and he was just like that! I remember I joined a gym because I wanted to have more energy while I was in grad school and taking care of our young daughter. At one point, he looked at me disdainfully and said, "Well, I've been paying for you to go to this gym now for two months, and frankly, I can't see a difference." I was furious. I said to him, "I know this may shock you, but I am not working out so that I can look good for you. Sorry, Ed. Hate to break the news to you, but I am exercising so that I can feel better." This was the beginning of the end of my marriage... What is interesting is that I manifested an "Ed" to say to me all the things I'd been saying to myself all those years. We've been divorced ten years, and I can still hear his voice in my head. I'm getting better at dealing with Ed, both the real one and my inner one. I never thought of it that way until now. Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 16, 2007 Report Share Posted May 16, 2007 My ex husband's name is Ed, and he was just like that! I remember I joined a gym because I wanted to have more energy while I was in grad school and taking care of our young daughter. At one point, he looked at me disdainfully and said, "Well, I've been paying for you to go to this gym now for two months, and frankly, I can't see a difference." I was furious. I said to him, "I know this may shock you, but I am not working out so that I can look good for you. Sorry, Ed. Hate to break the news to you, but I am exercising so that I can feel better." This was the beginning of the end of my marriage... What is interesting is that I manifested an "Ed" to say to me all the things I'd been saying to myself all those years. We've been divorced ten years, and I can still hear his voice in my head. I'm getting better at dealing with Ed, both the real one and my inner one. I never thought of it that way until now. Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 16, 2007 Report Share Posted May 16, 2007 My ex husband's name is Ed, and he was just like that! I remember I joined a gym because I wanted to have more energy while I was in grad school and taking care of our young daughter. At one point, he looked at me disdainfully and said, "Well, I've been paying for you to go to this gym now for two months, and frankly, I can't see a difference." I was furious. I said to him, "I know this may shock you, but I am not working out so that I can look good for you. Sorry, Ed. Hate to break the news to you, but I am exercising so that I can feel better." This was the beginning of the end of my marriage... What is interesting is that I manifested an "Ed" to say to me all the things I'd been saying to myself all those years. We've been divorced ten years, and I can still hear his voice in my head. I'm getting better at dealing with Ed, both the real one and my inner one. I never thought of it that way until now. Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Wow! Your ex husband is named ED! Thats too ironic. My old therapists name was ED. He never shamed me or guilted me but I did feel that subtle " control " happening. My ex husband never said anything either but his eyes did and his lack of support and encouragement. Thank you for sharing about your ED voice. It helps me so much to have others share their journey and experience. Those messages are so subtle and Ive been hearing them for so long that I need to hear others talk about it so I can find it sometimes. Yesterday I found a part of ED who is trying desperately to convince me that I should feel guilty for being able to eat whatever I want because there are so many others out there who havent discovered their IE voice including my sisters (one recently had bypass surgery) He says " Why do you always get all of the special gifts and no one else does? Why do you have to be so *special* and different? Youre an artist isnt that enough?! You should just abandon all of this and come back to me to keep others from feeling jealous or badly about themselves " This is a really hard message to fight right now. Many people in my life have given me the same one. My exhusband who wanted me to quit art school and my Mother who said to me on morning while I was getting ready and looking cute, " No wonder your sisters hate you " just to name a few. I am working hard to fight that part of his dialogue and oddly enough its coming from the most unexpected place, the fact that I have taken a departure from a higher powers purpose for eating and body. That guilt is actually saving my life. To admit I am greedy when I am overeating and not use it flog myself repeatedly seems an important difference in the way I viewed it from past experience. Its like admitting it and then asking my higher power to remove it in his time has " taken the heat off " so to speak. HA HA Anyway, Im glad youve divorced the first ED in your life. I hope you are working on deciding to file for divorce from the second. ED started in my head when I was twelve. He told me if i was getting praise and support from my parents for my " good " eating and thinness then starving myself could make it even better! ED is a real jerk. ED needs to get a life of his own. I guess when youre a bottom feeder though thats pretty hard. He could be mildew or mold. In fact, I think he is. I have my handy bottle of Tilex ED BE GONE now tho made by IE & OA. I love you! > > My ex husband's name is Ed, and he was just like that! I remember I joined a gym because I wanted to have more energy while I was in grad school and taking care of our young daughter. At one point, he looked at me disdainfully and said, " Well, I've been paying for you to go to this gym now for two months, and frankly, I can't see a difference. " > > I was furious. > > I said to him, " I know this may shock you, but I am not working out so that I can look good for you. Sorry, Ed. Hate to break the news to you, but I am exercising so that I can feel better. " > > This was the beginning of the end of my marriage... > > What is interesting is that I manifested an " Ed " to say to me all the things I'd been saying to myself all those years. We've been divorced ten years, and I can still hear his voice in my head. I'm getting better at dealing with Ed, both the real one and my inner one. I never thought of it that way until now. > > > > > --------------------------------- > Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! > Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Wow! Your ex husband is named ED! Thats too ironic. My old therapists name was ED. He never shamed me or guilted me but I did feel that subtle " control " happening. My ex husband never said anything either but his eyes did and his lack of support and encouragement. Thank you for sharing about your ED voice. It helps me so much to have others share their journey and experience. Those messages are so subtle and Ive been hearing them for so long that I need to hear others talk about it so I can find it sometimes. Yesterday I found a part of ED who is trying desperately to convince me that I should feel guilty for being able to eat whatever I want because there are so many others out there who havent discovered their IE voice including my sisters (one recently had bypass surgery) He says " Why do you always get all of the special gifts and no one else does? Why do you have to be so *special* and different? Youre an artist isnt that enough?! You should just abandon all of this and come back to me to keep others from feeling jealous or badly about themselves " This is a really hard message to fight right now. Many people in my life have given me the same one. My exhusband who wanted me to quit art school and my Mother who said to me on morning while I was getting ready and looking cute, " No wonder your sisters hate you " just to name a few. I am working hard to fight that part of his dialogue and oddly enough its coming from the most unexpected place, the fact that I have taken a departure from a higher powers purpose for eating and body. That guilt is actually saving my life. To admit I am greedy when I am overeating and not use it flog myself repeatedly seems an important difference in the way I viewed it from past experience. Its like admitting it and then asking my higher power to remove it in his time has " taken the heat off " so to speak. HA HA Anyway, Im glad youve divorced the first ED in your life. I hope you are working on deciding to file for divorce from the second. ED started in my head when I was twelve. He told me if i was getting praise and support from my parents for my " good " eating and thinness then starving myself could make it even better! ED is a real jerk. ED needs to get a life of his own. I guess when youre a bottom feeder though thats pretty hard. He could be mildew or mold. In fact, I think he is. I have my handy bottle of Tilex ED BE GONE now tho made by IE & OA. I love you! > > My ex husband's name is Ed, and he was just like that! I remember I joined a gym because I wanted to have more energy while I was in grad school and taking care of our young daughter. At one point, he looked at me disdainfully and said, " Well, I've been paying for you to go to this gym now for two months, and frankly, I can't see a difference. " > > I was furious. > > I said to him, " I know this may shock you, but I am not working out so that I can look good for you. Sorry, Ed. Hate to break the news to you, but I am exercising so that I can feel better. " > > This was the beginning of the end of my marriage... > > What is interesting is that I manifested an " Ed " to say to me all the things I'd been saying to myself all those years. We've been divorced ten years, and I can still hear his voice in my head. I'm getting better at dealing with Ed, both the real one and my inner one. I never thought of it that way until now. > > > > > --------------------------------- > Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! > Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Wow! Your ex husband is named ED! Thats too ironic. My old therapists name was ED. He never shamed me or guilted me but I did feel that subtle " control " happening. My ex husband never said anything either but his eyes did and his lack of support and encouragement. Thank you for sharing about your ED voice. It helps me so much to have others share their journey and experience. Those messages are so subtle and Ive been hearing them for so long that I need to hear others talk about it so I can find it sometimes. Yesterday I found a part of ED who is trying desperately to convince me that I should feel guilty for being able to eat whatever I want because there are so many others out there who havent discovered their IE voice including my sisters (one recently had bypass surgery) He says " Why do you always get all of the special gifts and no one else does? Why do you have to be so *special* and different? Youre an artist isnt that enough?! You should just abandon all of this and come back to me to keep others from feeling jealous or badly about themselves " This is a really hard message to fight right now. Many people in my life have given me the same one. My exhusband who wanted me to quit art school and my Mother who said to me on morning while I was getting ready and looking cute, " No wonder your sisters hate you " just to name a few. I am working hard to fight that part of his dialogue and oddly enough its coming from the most unexpected place, the fact that I have taken a departure from a higher powers purpose for eating and body. That guilt is actually saving my life. To admit I am greedy when I am overeating and not use it flog myself repeatedly seems an important difference in the way I viewed it from past experience. Its like admitting it and then asking my higher power to remove it in his time has " taken the heat off " so to speak. HA HA Anyway, Im glad youve divorced the first ED in your life. I hope you are working on deciding to file for divorce from the second. ED started in my head when I was twelve. He told me if i was getting praise and support from my parents for my " good " eating and thinness then starving myself could make it even better! ED is a real jerk. ED needs to get a life of his own. I guess when youre a bottom feeder though thats pretty hard. He could be mildew or mold. In fact, I think he is. I have my handy bottle of Tilex ED BE GONE now tho made by IE & OA. I love you! > > My ex husband's name is Ed, and he was just like that! I remember I joined a gym because I wanted to have more energy while I was in grad school and taking care of our young daughter. At one point, he looked at me disdainfully and said, " Well, I've been paying for you to go to this gym now for two months, and frankly, I can't see a difference. " > > I was furious. > > I said to him, " I know this may shock you, but I am not working out so that I can look good for you. Sorry, Ed. Hate to break the news to you, but I am exercising so that I can feel better. " > > This was the beginning of the end of my marriage... > > What is interesting is that I manifested an " Ed " to say to me all the things I'd been saying to myself all those years. We've been divorced ten years, and I can still hear his voice in my head. I'm getting better at dealing with Ed, both the real one and my inner one. I never thought of it that way until now. > > > > > --------------------------------- > Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! > Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 I remember my ex-husband would always, very nicely of course, smile and say, "So you're trying another diet?". It was just the condescending way he said it that tore me up. Like he was so long-suffering with me, and felt so sorry for my failure. But somehow it wasn't disappointment for me in his voice, but sort of a quiet "snickering". You notice that most of these men was are talking about are "EX" husbands. --Carol Traci Vujicich wrote: My ex husband's name is Ed, and he was just like that! I remember I joined a gym because I wanted to have more energy while I was in grad school and taking care of our young daughter. At one point, he looked at me disdainfully and said, "Well, I've been paying for you to go to this gym now for two months, and frankly, I can't see a difference." I was furious. I said to him, "I know this may shock you, but I am not working out so that I can look good for you. Sorry, Ed. Hate to break the news to you, but I am exercising so that I can feel better." This was the beginning of the end of my marriage... What is interesting is that I manifested an "Ed" to say to me all the things I'd been saying to myself all those years. We've been divorced ten years, and I can still hear his voice in my head. I'm getting better at dealing with Ed, both the real one and my inner one. I never thought of it that way until now. Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games. Never miss an email again!Yahoo! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 I remember my ex-husband would always, very nicely of course, smile and say, "So you're trying another diet?". It was just the condescending way he said it that tore me up. Like he was so long-suffering with me, and felt so sorry for my failure. But somehow it wasn't disappointment for me in his voice, but sort of a quiet "snickering". You notice that most of these men was are talking about are "EX" husbands. --Carol Traci Vujicich wrote: My ex husband's name is Ed, and he was just like that! I remember I joined a gym because I wanted to have more energy while I was in grad school and taking care of our young daughter. At one point, he looked at me disdainfully and said, "Well, I've been paying for you to go to this gym now for two months, and frankly, I can't see a difference." I was furious. I said to him, "I know this may shock you, but I am not working out so that I can look good for you. Sorry, Ed. Hate to break the news to you, but I am exercising so that I can feel better." This was the beginning of the end of my marriage... What is interesting is that I manifested an "Ed" to say to me all the things I'd been saying to myself all those years. We've been divorced ten years, and I can still hear his voice in my head. I'm getting better at dealing with Ed, both the real one and my inner one. I never thought of it that way until now. Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games. Never miss an email again!Yahoo! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 I remember my ex-husband would always, very nicely of course, smile and say, "So you're trying another diet?". It was just the condescending way he said it that tore me up. Like he was so long-suffering with me, and felt so sorry for my failure. But somehow it wasn't disappointment for me in his voice, but sort of a quiet "snickering". You notice that most of these men was are talking about are "EX" husbands. --Carol Traci Vujicich wrote: My ex husband's name is Ed, and he was just like that! I remember I joined a gym because I wanted to have more energy while I was in grad school and taking care of our young daughter. At one point, he looked at me disdainfully and said, "Well, I've been paying for you to go to this gym now for two months, and frankly, I can't see a difference." I was furious. I said to him, "I know this may shock you, but I am not working out so that I can look good for you. Sorry, Ed. Hate to break the news to you, but I am exercising so that I can feel better." This was the beginning of the end of my marriage... What is interesting is that I manifested an "Ed" to say to me all the things I'd been saying to myself all those years. We've been divorced ten years, and I can still hear his voice in my head. I'm getting better at dealing with Ed, both the real one and my inner one. I never thought of it that way until now. Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games. Never miss an email again!Yahoo! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Greed...that's funny. It's perfect for describing what I go through. I grew up poor. You ate and although my mom never pressured me to eat everything there were times where I wanted somethign like a snack or fruit roll ups and we couldn't afford it. I then became greedy for them. I dated a boy once so that I could get his fruit rollups at lunch. I didn't realize this until IE. I realized that I had to give myself permission to eat but ALSO permission to buy anything I wanted. Sounds weird but that's what I had to do. I ate all my desert at restaurants b/c I thought i wouldn't get anymore. I only stopped when I gave myself the promise that if I left the restaurant and wanted more I WOULD go back and buy more. I never did but it helped stop that greed. Now that i'm cookign at home, I'ts a challenge b/c I can't go back and buy a dinner I cooked...but that's another email. It's just neat that I could definitely feel the greed in it! > > good morning everyone ~ > > i received a couple more books (that's all ~ 3's my limit) from amazon > this weekend and one is linda moran's book. in it she talks about > eating to satiety ~ which we all know ~ and then questioning whether > the thing that pushes me to eat more is actual physical hunger or is it > greed? > > greed is the ugliest word i've come across in this entire educational > experience of learning to eat what my body wants and needs. > > according to linda, greed is the thing that makes us want to eat beyond > being full, just because it tastes good or whatever. > > just wondering how you all are combating this issue of " oh my stars, > this is so divine i want more more more? " i notice it's not a problem > except at night, when i want to eat for amusement. :-) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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