New to the Group

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Welcome to our group. What you describe sounds like OCD to me. Anxiety does

comes along with OCD, but someone can have GAD as well.

With OCD, when a thought/obsession comes up there is anxiety, then they will

want to do something to stop the anxiety and find ways to try and do this, and

form what is called " rituals " (the compulsion part of OCD). The rituals work to

temporarily reduce the anxiety, but it just comes back when the thought comes up

again, and keeps getting bigger.

The evidence based treatment for OCD is ERP based CBT - exposure and

response/ritual prevention - a form of cognitive behavior therapy. It is

critical that you find the best doctor you can to do this type of therapy. It

is a psychologist who does this therapy and can assess for OCD too. If I were

you I would not wait until July, I would search out a psychologist now, it can

be hard to find someone with expertise. Be sure to ask if they use ERP to

treat.

Sometimes medication is needed to reduce the anxiety and also assists the OCD in

general. The sertraline prescribed is used for your son's anxiety is used for

OCD too, so hopefully this helps soon. The dose used for OCD is generally quite

high, so you will want to confirm the dosing if you want to treat the OCD. On

the other hand it's good to go lower dose first, and increase dose slowly if

needed, to mitigate side effects and to find lowest effective dose.

If you do not yet have any books about OCD for your son, this would be a good

starting point. We have a book list in our files section (to the left of the

posting page). A popular book is, " What to do when your brain gets stuck " , it

has a workbook section included. If your son learns about OCD he will be able

to learn how to not respond to the thoughts with rituals, and this is what will

make the thoughts become less and then quiet down. There are good books for

parents too, and education is your best defense against OCD!

The obsessions and compulsions are not rational, so you can't reason or

discipline them away. Behavior needs addressing, but punishment will not do

anything if the behavior is about a compulsion/ritual. It is hard to know how to

handle these things. You can talk about and plan for next time, and give

direction on not involving you in rituals and that kind of thing.

When your son says " I'm sorry, you hate me " , this is ritual based and is not

rational. He knows you don't hate him, but in that moment he can't be sure and

no amount of you reassuring him with help, in fact the more you reassure him the

more he will want to be reassured. So, instead you can just let him say what he

needs to say, and not react in any way (you want to be neutral - impossible I

know!). You could try saying something like, " that's enough times now " - plan

for this and ask him to work on delaying saying this, or work on how many times

he does say it. The idea is to reduce the amount of the ritual. The delay of

it is to help him " habituate " to the anxiety that is there, as this is what he

needs to do, to get used to feeling uncomfortable about the thought and not do

the ritual at all.

You can do the same with the hand washing. Delay, reduce number of minutes,

restrict how much he can wash, that kind of thing. For the what if questions,

ideally you answer " I don't know " , or " not sure " , anything open ended that

doesn't really answer. He won't like this, the OCD wants certainty, but again,

they must get used to feeling uncertain.

There is no end point with OCD, but if you feed it with compulsions/rituals it

grows and perpetuates, if you don't feed it, it dies down. So, both ways are

difficult, but the second one has a payoff - slowing or stopping the OCD.

Keep posting and asking questions. There are many here with younger children.

I'm sure they will have some good ideas. My son is almost 21, so it's been a

while for me to think about how to handle a 6yr old

Warmly,

Barb

Canada

Son, 20, OCD, LD Plus

>

> Hello, my son is 6 years old and we don't have an official diagnosis yet, but

we are pretty sure that he has OCD. He just started Kindergarten this year and

that's when some of his strange behaviors started. He would spit on his shirt

most of the day. When I asked him why he did that he would say because his

mouth was dirty and he needed to spit out the dirt. Now it's the handwashing

that's started. He always asks what if questions, a lot. Also, if he gets in

trouble he repeats, I'm sorry, you hate me, you hate me, over and over again.

We don't know how to respond to that. We tell him we don't hate him, but he

doesn't believe us. Then he says he hates himself and it goes on and on. We

want to discpline him for doing something wrong, but we aren't sure if we should

be doing it in a differnt way. It's very frusterating.

>

> We have taken him to a developmental doctor at Children's Hospital to be

evaluated and they tell us it's general anxiety and put him on Sitraline. We do

have another appointment in July for Neurological testing, so hopefully that

will give us some answers.

>

> Any suggestions or help would be appreciated. Thanks!

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , welcome!

I read Barb's reply and know she went over all the treatment and books for kids.

Once the Sertraline begins helping, you should see some improvement. Hope it

kicks in soon, but it differs with everyone; some may see improvement in the

first month, others it may take longer. But I think what is true for all is

that once the improvement starts, it just helps more & more the longer they are

on the medication. My son began Celexa in 9th grade and it was really the 16th

week for him, around then, that I could say " wow, things are getting better! "

though I saw little bits before that. Generally psychiatrists will see them

once a month as they begin medication to monitor the effects, or any unwanted

ones, and then at a later point will see them every 3 months once dosage seems

right.

How is he doing in school overall since this started, with his classwork and

with the other students, the teacher?

Discipline - In general you don't punish OCD because the children aren't in

control, the OCD is. You can still discipline for all that typical kid stuff.

And depending on how OCD is having them react, you can set limits on that too,

though it doesn't sound like he's getting " physical " in any way with OCD

meltdowns, more he's just upset.

I think once you label it " OCD " for him and perhaps get him a children's book

about OCD and talk about it, it may be easier for him to " name it " and,

hopefully, not feel so upset and learn to boss OCD back some about washing hands

so much and trying to limit his " what if " questions and so on.

The spitting - could be OCD. But with 3 sons, have to say they all seemed to go

thru a " spitting all the time " period, I recall beginning to really hate

" spitting " about as much as I do OCD now, and the spitting came before my son's

OCD in 6th grade.

Glad you found our group!

single mom, 3 sons

, 23, OCD, dysgraphia, Aspergers

>

> Hello, my son is 6 years old and we don't have an official diagnosis yet, but

we are pretty sure that he has OCD. He just started Kindergarten this year and

that's when some of his strange behaviors started. He would spit on his shirt

most of the day. When I asked him why he did that he would say because his

mouth was dirty and he needed to spit out the dirt. Now it's the handwashing

that's started. He always asks what if questions, a lot. Also, if he gets in

trouble he repeats, I'm sorry, you hate me, you hate me, over and over again.

We don't know how to respond to that. We tell him we

[Guest guest]

Thank you for all of the great advice and suggestions. I didn't realize that we

were feeding into his rituals too, so that's really good to know. I'm also

trying to get an appt for him sooner than July. They have us on a waiting list

in case anyone cancels, but mabye I can try somewhere else. We have him seeing

a Psychologist right now, but he doesn't use the ERP treatment.

In school he has the greatest anxiety. However the classroom that he is in is

VERY disorganized. No classroom rules, no schedules (I bought a schedule myself

and donated it to the school for the teacher to use), the kids talk out of turn

all of the time, they run around the classroom. It's very undisciplined and

unorganized.

As far as acedemics goes he is doing great. He's an excellent reader. They

have been challenging him by taking Reading Counts tests on the books he reads

and they give him points for each question he gets right. He really gets

excited about that.

He also has obsessions about things. Now he is obsessed with knowing all of the

states capitals and country capitals, so he has loves to learn anything he can

about them.

I hope once we have the evaluation and the medicine starts working he'll be a

little more relaxed and is able to enjoy his childhood.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I've been working on 's booked Fullfilled and decided to join this group.

I've been struggling with weight my whole life. I've suffered from bulimia for

years. I can honestly say its been hell. I got married last year and my husband

has really helped me manage my bulimia. I am now pregnant and so desperatly want

to learn how to eat properly-how to be healthy. It's been so difficult gaining

weight during this pregnancy for me but I want to be healthy for my baby, my

family and me!!! This is the first support group I've ever joined and I'm glad

to be here!

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Brittney!

Eldred

On Mon, Jun 18, 2012 at 9:20 PM, brittneykeeley

wrote:

> I've been working on 's booked Fullfilled and decided to join this group.

I've been struggling with weight my whole life. I've suffered from bulimia for

years. I can honestly say its been hell. I got married last year and my husband

has really helped me manage my bulimia. I am now pregnant and so desperatly want

to learn how to eat properly-how to be healthy. It's been so difficult gaining

weight during this pregnancy for me but I want to be healthy for my baby, my

family and me!!! This is the first support group I've ever joined and I'm glad

to be here!

>

>

>

--

Raising money for Make-a-Wish!  Donation page at http://wam300.org

[Guest guest]

Brittney,

 

Welcome to this group.  I have been exposed to keen insight and thoughtful

responses that have helped me on my struggle with an eating disorder.  I do

understand (too well) the difficulty in healing and recovering from an eating

disorder.  There are many people in this group who have eating disorders and

virtually all of us have disordered eating.  It has been interesting to read

others struggle with food and weight that parrallel my own experience, despite

the fact that their struggle is often viewed as opposite to my own.  When food

issues, body image issues, and the inner dialogue about body has been a part of

your life for so long it is hard to start pulling it apart and understand how

the threads relate to each other and what gift the eating disorder is bestowing

and how to choose something different.  And of course, there is the feeling of

sitting with fullness that produces insane levels of anxiety and the opposite

side of it of feeling

hungry (sometimes for the first time in many years) and feeling intense anxiety

because of it.  It is hard but I do believe it is possible to change our

relationship with our bodies and with food.  We can choose healthy ways to live

our lives. 

 

I think that 's book is a good resource and we can be a support here on

this website.  I also have a long list of books that I have found useful in my

30 year struggle with an eating disorder, if you are interested.  Finally,

pregnancycan be extremely draining on your body and your body will nourish your

baby first and you second.  You may need extra medical care because of the

bulimia.  If you have not I would make sure ob/gyn is aware of your medical

history in regards to the bulimia.

 

Take care and let us support you.  It sounds like you have many wonderful

people and things to live for!

  Livingston

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Monday, June 18, 2012 8:20 PM

Subject: New to the Group

 

I've been working on 's booked Fullfilled and decided to join this group.

I've been struggling with weight my whole life. I've suffered from bulimia for

years. I can honestly say its been hell. I got married last year and my husband

has really helped me manage my bulimia. I am now pregnant and so desperatly want

to learn how to eat properly-how to be healthy. It's been so difficult gaining

weight during this pregnancy for me but I want to be healthy for my baby, my

family and me!!! This is the first support group I've ever joined and I'm glad

to be here!

[Guest guest]

Hi jcliff- I have a seven yr old daughter who is struggling with recognizing

OCD. She has a therapist she connects well with but they are having my daughter

recognize OCD thoughts which she is struggling with. Her OCD is the just right

and arranging things. Since school has been out we see barely any rituals. We

are free of OCD for weeks. I am enjoying it while it lasts

Sent from my iPhone

> Hello, I am new to the group. My daughter who will be 8 soon was diagnosed a

year and a half ago with OCD. Looking back can see it as far back as 2yrs old.

Now that I am beginning to understand what OCD is, so many things make sense. .

> I found a good book on parenting my child with OCD. Still searching for a good

match in a therapist for her. She has seen a child play therapist for her OCD

off and on for about 18mo. However, she will not follow his direction. Thus, I

end up doing most of his job. So, looking for someone she will listen to and

follow through as best she can on.

> We had a huge breakthrough this week. She finally was able to say she has OCD,

I read her some stories last week about what OCD is and tried explaining it on

her level for sometime. It was so heartbreaking to me that she refused to even

listen to me about it. Now that she has realized it we can start talking more

about CBT skills and learning how to deal with her OCD needs. I know tomorrow

she may go back to " not believing she has it " .

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi jcliff- I have a seven yr old daughter who is struggling with recognizing

OCD. She has a therapist she connects well with but they are having my daughter

recognize OCD thoughts which she is struggling with. Her OCD is the just right

and arranging things. Since school has been out we see barely any rituals. We

are free of OCD for weeks. I am enjoying it while it lasts

Sent from my iPhone

> Hello, I am new to the group. My daughter who will be 8 soon was diagnosed a

year and a half ago with OCD. Looking back can see it as far back as 2yrs old.

Now that I am beginning to understand what OCD is, so many things make sense. .

> I found a good book on parenting my child with OCD. Still searching for a good

match in a therapist for her. She has seen a child play therapist for her OCD

off and on for about 18mo. However, she will not follow his direction. Thus, I

end up doing most of his job. So, looking for someone she will listen to and

follow through as best she can on.

> We had a huge breakthrough this week. She finally was able to say she has OCD,

I read her some stories last week about what OCD is and tried explaining it on

her level for sometime. It was so heartbreaking to me that she refused to even

listen to me about it. Now that she has realized it we can start talking more

about CBT skills and learning how to deal with her OCD needs. I know tomorrow

she may go back to " not believing she has it " .

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi jcliff- I have a seven yr old daughter who is struggling with recognizing

OCD. She has a therapist she connects well with but they are having my daughter

recognize OCD thoughts which she is struggling with. Her OCD is the just right

and arranging things. Since school has been out we see barely any rituals. We

are free of OCD for weeks. I am enjoying it while it lasts

Sent from my iPhone

> Hello, I am new to the group. My daughter who will be 8 soon was diagnosed a

year and a half ago with OCD. Looking back can see it as far back as 2yrs old.

Now that I am beginning to understand what OCD is, so many things make sense. .

> I found a good book on parenting my child with OCD. Still searching for a good

match in a therapist for her. She has seen a child play therapist for her OCD

off and on for about 18mo. However, she will not follow his direction. Thus, I

end up doing most of his job. So, looking for someone she will listen to and

follow through as best she can on.

> We had a huge breakthrough this week. She finally was able to say she has OCD,

I read her some stories last week about what OCD is and tried explaining it on

her level for sometime. It was so heartbreaking to me that she refused to even

listen to me about it. Now that she has realized it we can start talking more

about CBT skills and learning how to deal with her OCD needs. I know tomorrow

she may go back to " not believing she has it " .

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Welcome to our group! I think you will find many here who you can relate to and

who will understand what it is like dealing with family etc. Many with young

kids too.

Just thought I'd offer you some resources to check out...

Some really good books for children are:

What to do when your brain gets stuck, Dawn Huebner

(has a workbook component too)

A thought is just a thought, Tally

(a story about a child with OCD)

Up and down the worry hill, Aureen Pinto-Wagner

(Aureen has treated many children for anxiety/OCD, explains ERP and how it works

in child terms)

For yourself, or family members - to help them understand:

www.ocfoundation.org - has everything you'd ever want to know about OCD - you

might find the best info and cut and paste it in an email or print off and give

it to them. Or just refer them to this site.

There are many other websites for good info/articles:

www.westsuffolkpsych.homestead or www.wsps.info

Articles relating to specific types of OCD and what to do to manage them!

Written by Dr. Penzel and other doctors who specialize in OCD.

understanding_ocd.tripod.com/ocd_support.html

How to help support someone with OCD – Do's and Don'ts

www.peaceofmind.com – covers all the types of OCD, links to resources

www.ocdonline.com - tons of info and resources!

I find the book " Brain Lock " , Schwartz, explains OCD really well, and

also uses brain images to show the effect of ERP/CBT before and after - so that

can help others understand why they would not accommodate a ritual, for example.

The author also has a new book out, " You are not your brain " , I just bought it

and skimmed, looks really good. There are many, many books out there, but

Schwartz is basically the original pioneer of CBT for OCD.

Finding an expert therapist who really knows how to do ERP therapy is challenge

for many. Do make sure whoever you get is clear about ERP and how to do it. I

find if they really know there stuff, then a child is more willing to get on

board to do the ERP. However, it is also pretty common that they avoid doing

it, and that you as the parent will have to be involved.

That's great that your daughter will now acknowledge it as OCD! It can be

really hard for them, it feels so real, and they can kind of fuse with it and

think they are " one " . Also, just talking about OCD can ramp up the anxiety, so

depending what and when you bring it up, this can be part of it. It's good to

ask her if she wants to talk about it, or when might be a good time - to give

her control of this, since having OCD is feeling like you've lost control.

Our son is almost 21, and getting him on board to do the ERP was probably the

biggest challenge, and continues to be. Even knowing it works, and what happens

if he doesn't do it, he will still avoid it. Maturity is part of it for mine,

and for this age in general.

With a younger child it may have more to do with fully understanding OCD as

separate from them - needing to " externalize " it. You can help this by asking

your daughter to give the OCD a name, could be as simple as the OCD bully. Then

when something comes up you can both address it as the " OCD bully " , and decide

what to do about it.

Many here have used reward systems. Not so much for doing the ERP successfully,

as for any attempts to do it. They use a chip system and then they can cash

them in for something, like a trip to the dollar store to buy something, at the

end of the week. You might make a post asking about this. Our reward system

involved food, and more to do with shaping behavior - not ideal, but what worked

with a teen

Keep posting and asking your questions - usually someone will have some ideas,

or at minimum can empathize.

Warmly,

Barb

Canada

Son, OCD, LD Plus

>

> Hello, I am new to the group. My daughter who will be 8 soon was diagnosed a

year and a half ago with OCD. Looking back can see it as far back as 2yrs old.

Now that I am beginning to understand what OCD is, so many things make sense. .

> I found a good book on parenting my child with OCD. Still searching for a

good match in a therapist for her. She has seen a child play therapist for her

OCD off and on for about 18mo. However, she will not follow his direction.

Thus, I end up doing most of his job. So, looking for someone she will listen

to and follow through as best she can on.

> We had a huge breakthrough this week. She finally was able to say she has

OCD, I read her some stories last week about what OCD is and tried explaining it

on her level for sometime. It was so heartbreaking to me that she refused to

even listen to me about it. Now that she has realized it we can start talking

more about CBT skills and learning how to deal with her OCD needs. I know

tomorrow she may go back to " not believing she has it " .

>

>