Re: Autism Speaks Video

[Guest guest]

I try telling them. A large number of people don't

listen.

So let me tell y'all a story about a little boy named

. He was nonverbal mostly, aggressive from

frustration, and seemed to have no receptive language.

At least until his mom told me to do some stuff with

him then take him swimming. Suddenly he was grabbing

his bag, shoving my keys into my hand, and signing

" car " . He'd been rocking and making his squeal noise

until the magical S word came up. knew everything

that was going on and outsmarted every adult to ever

work with him. Ever.

Autism is like an input-output short. The input

doesn't always come in right, but it does come in. The

" computer " looks inactive because the brain is always

processing, because we take in EVERYTHING. From the

crickets to the buzz of electricity to what's being

said to touches, sights, smells...every sense is

either too little or too much so the

making-sense-of-it routine takes a while and may

require stims like rocking, flapping, zoning out. And

then the output device isn't real reliable. There's

also a couple processor parts that don't work too well

(namely the social stuff and understanding metaphors

or holding onto multiple directions or whatever they

may be) and this effects the output. Sometimes the

processing aspect is so labor intensive that the

output device shorts out. Does that make sense?

I also think it's best to err on the side of caution,

and to assume competence. Assume they understand, even

if they may not. Better than the pain that cant be

released from years of hearing a parent say things

that would just KILL anyone's self esteem.

Kassiane

--- Cristy Estep wrote:

> Kassiane,

> I think the big problem is that most people don't

> realize that the

> kids can hear what's being said, they seem to be in

> their own world

> sometimes BUT they are hearing what's going on, they

> do know what's

> said. At least that's what I believe. I think it's a

> little scary

> too. Kassi, maybe you could enlighten others on how

> autistics are

> really in there knowing what's going on on the

> outside even if they

> don't seem like it. People do need to know how it

> really is.

> I think one of the worst things about autism is

> people's

> perceptions about what's going on, or not going on

> in the mind of

> the autistic person. I know with my daughter it's

> hard to know what

> she's aware of when. Cause she can't communicate

> much yet. I have to

> keep telling myself to be careful of what I do and

> say so I don't do

> something to hurt her feelings, or embarass her.

> It's hard. I know

> most people think she doesn't know a bit of what's

> going on. It is

> difficult to deal with for me, yes, but that's

> because I'm always

> wondering what she knows, what to say, or how to say

> it. I'm always

> thinking of how she might feel. I think that's the

> worst part for me

> being her parent. The not knowing. Because her

> feelings are the most

> important thing in the world to me. If I could read

> her mind I'd be

> the happiest person in the world and the rest would

> be cake.

> Cristy

>

>

> > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > This is the best video on what it's like to

> be a

> > > > > parent in the world

> > > > > of autism that I've ever watched. It's 13

> > > minutes

> > > > > long and on the

> > > > > Autism Speaks website (in case the link

> below

> > > > > doesn't work). Prepare

> > > > > yourself beforehand. I'm sitting here

> typing

> > > with

> > > > > tears streaming

> > > > > down my face. Even though I live it, to see

> it

> > > on

> > > > > the screen takes

> > > > > your breath away.

> > > > >

> > > > > Diane ('s Mom)

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

http://www.autismspeaks.org/sponsoredevents/autism_every_day.php

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> __________________________________________________

> > > >

[Guest guest]

I've realized in the last few years that Alyssa does understand quit a

bit, way more than it appears she hears/understands. A side note:

During RDI® training, we learned that in Houston at the Connections

Center, they never under any circumstance discuss the child in front

of the child, and we are to do the same.

>

> > Kassiane,

> > I think the big problem is that most people don't

> > realize that the

> > kids can hear what's being said, they seem to be in

> > their own world

> > sometimes BUT they are hearing what's going on, they

> > do know what's

> > said.

[Guest guest]

I am sure that anything I say will be what everyone here already

knows, for this group is filled with highly intelligent and

passionate people. Yet as it is proven by human history, there will

always be two elements to every controversy; emotion and logic. It

is quite possible for one to be at peace with his or her logic,

while still remaining in emotional turmoil. A common example is the

need to cry after the death of a sick family member. Logically, the

death was a positive passing from pain to perfection, but we

emotionally feel a void and therefore cry. Does it make the mourner

selfish? No. It simply means that despite all logic, the passing

of this loved one leaves a void we feel as great emotional pain.

Death is not the only place where we feel this conflict between

logic and emotion. We feel it in our search for faith, in our

search for love and most definitely in our growth as parents. It is

in our drive that we as humans strive for idealism and perfection,

whatever we may understand (or in some cases simply feel) that

picture of perfection to be. As parents we want our children not to

BE perfect, but to live IN perfection. We hope for a world with no

pain, no problems and endless love and tolerance. We are too

creatures of this world and many of us have come to the realization

that we cannot change the world and thus force ourselves, usually

out of exhaustion, to conform in ways while choosing our true

battles. Parents hope to save their child from this struggle and

project their idealism of perfection upon the child in hopes the

child will learn through the example of the parent's mistake and the

child will therefore avoid the mistake all together.

Children, no matter who they are, all show resistance to this. They

throw fits, commit acts of defiance, lie, sneak, cheat and

eventually, after a charge of hormones burns neurotransmitters in

their brains, they look you straight in the eye and list your

inadequacies for you, just in case you forgot. On some level or

another, all children go throw this process and it's called growing.

Parenting is tiresome. Whether your child is normal or not,

parenting is a full time, life time challenge. When you add

individualism and characteristics, this adds complications not to

the child's ability to adjust, but to the parent's ability to

nurture in a way they feel is most effective. Autism is a form of

individualism that provides parenting challenges. Autistic children

still have to grow and mature just like NT children and therefore

parents are still driven to teach and protect them. I can certainly

admit I was NOT an easy child to raise and I do not fault my mother

for the times when she broke down, got frustrated or agitated over

things I did.

NT parents do have something in common with autistics. They too say

things that hurt feelings or choose the wrong words. When you

become so overloaded that emotion speaks, words tend to take on a

new color. Passion is not an emotion, but rather an entity that

acts as amplification to other emotions. Passion can make anger

turn to acts of violence, sadness turn to depression and happiness

turn to insanity. All of creation was certainly not meant to live

inside the container which sin built for it, but it is a reality we

must all struggle with anyhow.

Perhaps the way to some peace will be a change of perspective. We

all must lower our anxiety if we wish to have the clarity to adjust

and drive through each day. There is a great example for this that

was sent to me by a good friend:

As you might know, the head of a company survived 9/11 because his

son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an

auto accident.

One of them missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start.

One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he

should have.

One couldn't get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes

that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he

got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a

drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.

Remember these survivors and their reasons, parents, next time your

not so cookie cutter child pulls your last ounce of energy and puts

it out like baking soda on a grease fire. Try to see past the

situation and see a greater cause. Remember these survivors and

their reasons, autistics, the next time you hear a parent cry

because their autistic child has brought them to the end of their

rope. Remember this is the price parents pay for trying to allow

the child to be his or herself, despite the enormous pressure by

society, doctors, authors, psychiatrists, schools and politicians to

MAKE autistics conform to the mold of " tried and true " conventional

traditionalism. Just because parents may be NT, does not mean they

get all of the social nuances or ways of the world, and now the very

things parents tried to set aside as a battle not worth fighting are

suddenly thrust back into their lives because their autistic child

asks " why " and the parent actually cares to try and answer.

The " inconveniences " of dealing with one another and the teeter

tottering of emotions may be the heated topic of discussion today

and may feel as if we have to keep reliving life over and over

again, but at least we have lived. Controversy? Well, I think

controversy at least proves that people are still willing to turn

off their TV's, get off the couch and fight for something they

believe in.

My two cents.

Nadine

[Guest guest]

This is the reason I stay in this group. Thanks you Kassi for once again

giving me insight into why my daughter acts as she does.

I liken the squabbles in this group to a large family, albeit online....we

get on each others nerves sometimes, but we really love each other all the

time!!

Diane ('s Mom)

Re: Re: Autism Speaks Video

I try telling them. A large number of people don't

listen.

So let me tell y'all a story about a little boy named

. He was nonverbal mostly, aggressive from

frustration, and seemed to have no receptive language.

At least until his mom told me to do some stuff with

him then take him swimming. Suddenly he was grabbing

his bag, shoving my keys into my hand, and signing

" car " . He'd been rocking and making his squeal noise

until the magical S word came up. knew everything

that was going on and outsmarted every adult to ever

work with him. Ever.

Autism is like an input-output short. The input

doesn't always come in right, but it does come in. The

" computer " looks inactive because the brain is always

processing, because we take in EVERYTHING. From the

crickets to the buzz of electricity to what's being

said to touches, sights, smells...every sense is

either too little or too much so the

making-sense-of-it routine takes a while and may

require stims like rocking, flapping, zoning out. And

then the output device isn't real reliable. There's

also a couple processor parts that don't work too well

(namely the social stuff and understanding metaphors

or holding onto multiple directions or whatever they

may be) and this effects the output. Sometimes the

processing aspect is so labor intensive that the

output device shorts out. Does that make sense?

I also think it's best to err on the side of caution,

and to assume competence. Assume they understand, even

if they may not. Better than the pain that cant be

released from years of hearing a parent say things

that would just KILL anyone's self esteem.

Kassiane

--- Cristy Estep wrote:

> Kassiane,

> I think the big problem is that most people don't

> realize that the

> kids can hear what's being said, they seem to be in

> their own world

> sometimes BUT they are hearing what's going on, they

> do know what's

> said. At least that's what I believe. I think it's a

> little scary

> too. Kassi, maybe you could enlighten others on how

> autistics are

> really in there knowing what's going on on the

> outside even if they

> don't seem like it. People do need to know how it

> really is.

> I think one of the worst things about autism is

> people's

> perceptions about what's going on, or not going on

> in the mind of

> the autistic person. I know with my daughter it's

> hard to know what

> she's aware of when. Cause she can't communicate

> much yet. I have to

> keep telling myself to be careful of what I do and

> say so I don't do

> something to hurt her feelings, or embarass her.

> It's hard. I know

> most people think she doesn't know a bit of what's

> going on. It is

> difficult to deal with for me, yes, but that's

> because I'm always

> wondering what she knows, what to say, or how to say

> it. I'm always

> thinking of how she might feel. I think that's the

> worst part for me

> being her parent. The not knowing. Because her

> feelings are the most

> important thing in the world to me. If I could read

> her mind I'd be

> the happiest person in the world and the rest would

> be cake.

> Cristy

>

>

> > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > This is the best video on what it's like to

> be a

> > > > > parent in the world

> > > > > of autism that I've ever watched. It's 13

> > > minutes

> > > > > long and on the

> > > > > Autism Speaks website (in case the link

> below

> > > > > doesn't work). Prepare

> > > > > yourself beforehand. I'm sitting here

> typing

> > > with

> > > > > tears streaming

> > > > > down my face. Even though I live it, to see

> it

> > > on

> > > > > the screen takes

> > > > > your breath away.

> > > > >

> > > > > Diane ('s Mom)

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

http://www.autismspeaks.org/sponsoredevents/autism_every_day.php

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> __________________________________________________

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Cristy, I know what you mean. Many times I have talked to and she

seemed unaware of what I was saying. She has then come back to me several

days, weeks and months later to remind me of when I said so and so,

verbatim!!! I realized quickly that she was hearing everything we said. She

will also tell me about conversations I've had with others, like her Dad,

when we've been disagreeing and she'll quote what we said to each other.

She can also tell me when we've been somewhere before, even if it was just

once when she was a baby. I remember we went to a park about 6 months ago

and I said to her that it was nice and mentioned it was the first time we

had been there. She corrected me and told me we had been there when she was

still in a stroller (she couldn't have been more than two at the time). She

then proceeded to tell me what landmarks in the park we were going to see

BEFORE we got there, ie., " remember the wood swing and the ducks, Mom? "

before we were at the part where there were swings and ducks!!!!

These kids are amazing.

Diane ('s Mom)

Re: Autism Speaks Video

Kassiane,

I think the big problem is that most people don't realize that the

kids can hear what's being said, they seem to be in their own world

sometimes BUT they are hearing what's going on, they do know what's

said. At least that's what I believe. I think it's a little scary

too. Kassi, maybe you could enlighten others on how autistics are

really in there knowing what's going on on the outside even if they

don't seem like it. People do need to know how it really is.

I think one of the worst things about autism is people's

perceptions about what's going on, or not going on in the mind of

the autistic person. I know with my daughter it's hard to know what

she's aware of when. Cause she can't communicate much yet. I have to

keep telling myself to be careful of what I do and say so I don't do

something to hurt her feelings, or embarass her. It's hard. I know

most people think she doesn't know a bit of what's going on. It is

difficult to deal with for me, yes, but that's because I'm always

wondering what she knows, what to say, or how to say it. I'm always

thinking of how she might feel. I think that's the worst part for me

being her parent. The not knowing. Because her feelings are the most

important thing in the world to me. If I could read her mind I'd be

the happiest person in the world and the rest would be cake.

Cristy

> > >

> > > >

> > > > This is the best video on what it's like to be a

> > > > parent in the world

> > > > of autism that I've ever watched. It's 13

> > minutes

> > > > long and on the

> > > > Autism Speaks website (in case the link below

> > > > doesn't work). Prepare

> > > > yourself beforehand. I'm sitting here typing

> > with

> > > > tears streaming

> > > > down my face. Even though I live it, to see it

> > on

> > > > the screen takes

> > > > your breath away.

> > > >

> > > > Diane ('s Mom)

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> http://www.autismspeaks.org/sponsoredevents/autism_every_day.php

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > > __________________________________________________

> > >

[Guest guest]

yes it is of true many think because we do not speak or have of

expressed words to show where our thinkings is to be that we to have

none. I to say this for many years and few were able to grasp that,

now many understand this in us. some of the kids do a blue gumball

(look at gumball theory at (www.thegraycenter.org)as I to call it and

give you a glimpse of how aware and connected we are even if our body

langauge and gestures do not indicate it to others.

I to be to share be to speak to us as if we are typically attending

even if we donot grasp the intent, or inferred meanings or be of to

take it literally we are listning and absorbing. I to say we are like

a sponge. it all goes in but it takes just enough soaking before it

can drip off in way others can see it.

Sondra

[Guest guest]

Kassi, The tiara thing was supposed to be a joke to lighten the mood sorry if

you took it the wrong way, a women on my birth club board has it as a blinkie

and I found it cute.

I understand you have convictions and I was wasn't referring to your opinons as

dramatic but I was refering to your comment when got offended as dramatic

your exact words were " I wasn't attacking.

can though, if you wish "

I just was trying to stop the arquing because when things like that start

getting said it is getting rude and dramatic.

A simple sorry I wasn't attacking you would have been sufficent.

So anyhow I was just trying to lighten the mood.

Notice How I have not even brought up my feelings of the video. I have my

opinons too I just didn't think we needed to spend days going on and on about 1

video when there are a million other things we could be discussing in the group.

Thanks

Missy

Re: Re: Autism Speaks Video

Apparently she thinks I was being overdramatic, since

she replied to my message.

But she's never had her mother tell her she'd rather

be dead than deal with her, suggest that she kill

herself, or gone through what the child in the video

did. I've had the first 2.

Being passionate isn't being a drama queen. it's

having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly

butterfly hair clips...

Kassiane

--- sondra wrote:

> who was being of overly dramatic i to be confused

> how one can tell

> of ones being drama quen when they cannot be to see

> the person . how

> can words writed be of a drama queen? this is of

> confuing concepts

> yet intriguing because i to be use much word

> comparisons too life

> things too but I to only understand the ones I to

> create and think

> on new ones from others is of foriegn in concepts. i

> to think this

> is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated with self

> too because even

> my own childrens make of fun to me because i to lack

> getting waht

> seems to obvious to others and it just makes ofme

> feeling stupid

> because i to not get it.

>

> Example the husband to come to the room and to ask

> of me what do i

> to want it to be titled? I to be to say what? I to

> not ahve clue to

> hims words but the kids might be to say the CD daddy

> told yo last

> week he will make for you, How can they be to know

> of this I to lack

> as cant associate or infer and this leaves me

> feeling so very stupid

> even to my own childrens. Sondra

>

> In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi "

>

> wrote:

> >

> > Sondra, that is referring to women who are called

> " drama queens " .

> > Picture a woman wearing a crown because she won

> for most dramatic.

> > When the term to check the tiara's at the door,

> that means we

> should

> > leave our roles as drama queens outside the

> message board. In other

> > words, stop being overly dramatic.

> >

> > HTH,

> > Debi

> >

> >

> > >

> > > i to lacked there was of fight here but I to

> guess it is

> happening

> > > again. I to be to shayed words that were not

> right or be to

> caused it

> > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to not get

> of you words here

> what

> > > does it to be to mean below/ I to understand

> girls and or drama

> but

> > > that is the only big word that brings a visual

> to me the rest is

> of

> > > confusing.

> > >

> > > > Check your tiara's at the door girls!!!

> > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE!

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

knew everything

> that was going on and outsmarted every adult to ever

> work with him. Ever.

>

>

[Guest guest]

This is exactly what I always tell parents and tutors too. I have seen

lots of kids show me over and over that they are listening and

understanding way more than most people would give them credit for. The

most recent example I have is a little guy I work with, 3 years old,

just starting to verbalize his wants/needs. We were trying for months

to teach him object labels, but it wasn't going anywhere. I was getting

a little frustrated with it, because all his other skills progress so

fast I usually can't keep up with him. Anyway, I went to observe him at

school, and there he was, labeling up a storm! So I told him, " That's

it, you're caught, I know you can do it, and you will start showing us

you can do it at home! " Never had a problem again. He flew through that

lesson in less than 2 weeks and is now expressively labeling as well.

He definitely understood exactly what I meant!

Amnesty

> I also think it's best to err on the side of caution,

> and to assume competence. Assume they understand, even

> if they may not. Better than the pain that cant be

> released from years of hearing a parent say things

> that would just KILL anyone's self esteem.

>

> Kassiane

[Guest guest]

I don't totally agree with that. There are some things that I think

should be discussed in front of kids, and even more importantly, WITH

kids. I've had kids who would pay such close attention to team

meetings or discussions that they would often start doing something

new just because they heard that was the next thing we were going to

be working on.

Obviously, I don't think anything negative should be said in front of

a child, but I think there are circumstances that would call for the

child listening. We also don't want them to feel like everyone is

talking about them behind their back, and not including them in their

own goals, especially for older kids.

Amnesty

> >

> > > Kassiane,

> > > I think the big problem is that most people don't

> > > realize that the

> > > kids can hear what's being said, they seem to be in

> > > their own world

> > > sometimes BUT they are hearing what's going on, they

> > > do know what's

> > > said.

>

[Guest guest]

Im not going to be sorry for people taking me wrong

without even ASKING.

Im not going to apologize for how whenever there's

contention or misunderstanding between autistics and

nonautistics it's ALWAYS the autistic's fault somehow.

I've done enough of apologizing for things I'm a) not

sorry for didnt do c) wouldn't be sorry for even if

I HAD done them. If people are going to persist in

thinking I'm attacking them, I can show them what a

real attack looks like, so they'll have a clear idea

in their head of what it is and is not. Makes sense to

me.

Read the archives. Note that every time someone has

issue with what I say (and usually it's a

misunderstanding) it's all *my* fault. Grew up with

that and as soon as I could I said " NO MORE false,

social apologies. "

I am who I am. If I don't mean it I don't say it.

Simple.

Kassiane

--- Missy and Brent Pearsall

wrote:

> Kassi, The tiara thing was supposed to be a joke to

> lighten the mood sorry if you took it the wrong way,

> a women on my birth club board has it as a blinkie

> and I found it cute.

> I understand you have convictions and I was wasn't

> referring to your opinons as dramatic but I was

> refering to your comment when got offended as

> dramatic your exact words were " I wasn't attacking.

> can though, if you wish "

> I just was trying to stop the arquing because when

> things like that start getting said it is getting

> rude and dramatic.

> A simple sorry I wasn't attacking you would have

> been sufficent.

> So anyhow I was just trying to lighten the mood.

> Notice How I have not even brought up my feelings of

> the video. I have my opinons too I just didn't think

> we needed to spend days going on and on about 1

> video when there are a million other things we could

> be discussing in the group.

> Thanks

> Missy

> Re: Re: Autism Speaks

> Video

>

>

> Apparently she thinks I was being overdramatic,

> since

> she replied to my message.

>

> But she's never had her mother tell her she'd

> rather

> be dead than deal with her, suggest that she kill

> herself, or gone through what the child in the

> video

> did. I've had the first 2.

>

> Being passionate isn't being a drama queen. it's

> having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly

> butterfly hair clips...

>

> Kassiane

>

> --- sondra wrote:

>

> > who was being of overly dramatic i to be

> confused

> > how one can tell

> > of ones being drama quen when they cannot be to

> see

> > the person . how

> > can words writed be of a drama queen? this is of

> > confuing concepts

> > yet intriguing because i to be use much word

> > comparisons too life

> > things too but I to only understand the ones I

> to

> > create and think

> > on new ones from others is of foriegn in

> concepts. i

> > to think this

> > is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated with

> self

> > too because even

> > my own childrens make of fun to me because i to

> lack

> > getting waht

> > seems to obvious to others and it just makes

> ofme

> > feeling stupid

> > because i to not get it.

> >

> > Example the husband to come to the room and to

> ask

> > of me what do i

> > to want it to be titled? I to be to say what? I

> to

> > not ahve clue to

> > hims words but the kids might be to say the CD

> daddy

> > told yo last

> > week he will make for you, How can they be to

> know

> > of this I to lack

> > as cant associate or infer and this leaves me

> > feeling so very stupid

> > even to my own childrens. Sondra

> >

> > In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi "

> >

> > wrote:

> > >

> > > Sondra, that is referring to women who are

> called

> > " drama queens " .

> > > Picture a woman wearing a crown because she

> won

> > for most dramatic.

> > > When the term to check the tiara's at the

> door,

> > that means we

> > should

> > > leave our roles as drama queens outside the

> > message board. In other

> > > words, stop being overly dramatic.

> > >

> > > HTH,

> > > Debi

> > >

> > >

> > > >

> > > > i to lacked there was of fight here but I to

> > guess it is

> > happening

> > > > again. I to be to shayed words that were not

> > right or be to

> > caused it

> > > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to not

> get

> > of you words here

> > what

> > > > does it to be to mean below/ I to understand

> > girls and or drama

> > but

> > > > that is the only big word that brings a

> visual

> > to me the rest is

> > of

> > > > confusing.

> > > >

> > > > > Check your tiara's at the door girls!!!

> > > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE!

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Geesh, Please calm down I wasn't blaming you just trying to lighten up the whole

group.

I am sorry if you feel that you get attacked or whatever. I don't even know you

I just saw this group taking a negative turn and wanted to make everyone giggle

and move from a disaggreement. Maybe you keep missing the point of my post I

don't know????

From now on if anyone has " personal " issues with any one maybe it would be best

to email them directly instead of to the whole group.

Anyhow just an idea.

I have lots of things about my daughter to ask but I am starting to think maybe

this is not the group seems it appears to just be a bunch of misunderstandings?

Missy

Re: Re: Autism Speaks

> Video

>

>

> Apparently she thinks I was being overdramatic,

> since

> she replied to my message.

>

> But she's never had her mother tell her she'd

> rather

> be dead than deal with her, suggest that she kill

> herself, or gone through what the child in the

> video

> did. I've had the first 2.

>

> Being passionate isn't being a drama queen. it's

> having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly

> butterfly hair clips...

>

> Kassiane

>

> --- sondra wrote:

>

> > who was being of overly dramatic i to be

> confused

> > how one can tell

> > of ones being drama quen when they cannot be to

> see

> > the person . how

> > can words writed be of a drama queen? this is of

> > confuing concepts

> > yet intriguing because i to be use much word

> > comparisons too life

> > things too but I to only understand the ones I

> to

> > create and think

> > on new ones from others is of foriegn in

> concepts. i

> > to think this

> > is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated with

> self

> > too because even

> > my own childrens make of fun to me because i to

> lack

> > getting waht

> > seems to obvious to others and it just makes

> ofme

> > feeling stupid

> > because i to not get it.

> >

> > Example the husband to come to the room and to

> ask

> > of me what do i

> > to want it to be titled? I to be to say what? I

> to

> > not ahve clue to

> > hims words but the kids might be to say the CD

> daddy

> > told yo last

> > week he will make for you, How can they be to

> know

> > of this I to lack

> > as cant associate or infer and this leaves me

> > feeling so very stupid

> > even to my own childrens. Sondra

> >

> > In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi "

> >

> > wrote:

> > >

> > > Sondra, that is referring to women who are

> called

> > " drama queens " .

> > > Picture a woman wearing a crown because she

> won

> > for most dramatic.

> > > When the term to check the tiara's at the

> door,

> > that means we

> > should

> > > leave our roles as drama queens outside the

> > message board. In other

> > > words, stop being overly dramatic.

> > >

> > > HTH,

> > > Debi

> > >

> > >

> > > >

> > > > i to lacked there was of fight here but I to

> > guess it is

> > happening

> > > > again. I to be to shayed words that were not

> > right or be to

> > caused it

> > > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to not

> get

> > of you words here

> > what

> > > > does it to be to mean below/ I to understand

> > girls and or drama

> > but

> > > > that is the only big word that brings a

> visual

> > to me the rest is

> > of

> > > > confusing.

> > > >

> > > > > Check your tiara's at the door girls!!!

> > > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE!

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome to autism.

We grow up. We still don't know when y'all are joking.

And it's OUR fault (see " maybe you keep missing the

point " when it could be framed as " maybe I'm not

making my point well " ). Maybe you keep missing my

point. Oh wait, that's always my fault too for

expressing things wrong the first few times.

Impossible situations. That's what autistics are put

in all the time. That's why we tend to carry

extraordinarily high anxiety burdens.

Debate isn't a bad thing. Forced social apologies ARE.

Any group with any degree of diversity is going to

have different points of view. Different people

express their POVs differently. Some are soft spoken.

Some aren't. Some people skirt around it, gently

tapping on their opinion. Some people say things

directly.

If people can't handle diversity, heaven help them. Or

heaven help their children if they're not cookie

cutter kids.

Kassiane

--- Missy and Brent Pearsall

wrote:

> Geesh, Please calm down I wasn't blaming you just

> trying to lighten up the whole group.

> I am sorry if you feel that you get attacked or

> whatever. I don't even know you I just saw this

> group taking a negative turn and wanted to make

> everyone giggle and move from a disaggreement. Maybe

> you keep missing the point of my post I don't

> know????

> From now on if anyone has " personal " issues with any

> one maybe it would be best to email them directly

> instead of to the whole group.

> Anyhow just an idea.

> I have lots of things about my daughter to ask but I

> am starting to think maybe this is not the group

> seems it appears to just be a bunch of

> misunderstandings?

> Missy

> Re: Re: Autism

> Speaks

> > Video

> >

> >

> > Apparently she thinks I was being

> overdramatic,

> > since

> > she replied to my message.

> >

> > But she's never had her mother tell her she'd

> > rather

> > be dead than deal with her, suggest that she

> kill

> > herself, or gone through what the child in the

> > video

> > did. I've had the first 2.

> >

> > Being passionate isn't being a drama queen.

> it's

> > having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly

> > butterfly hair clips...

> >

> > Kassiane

> >

> > --- sondra wrote:

> >

> > > who was being of overly dramatic i to be

> > confused

> > > how one can tell

> > > of ones being drama quen when they cannot be

> to

> > see

> > > the person . how

> > > can words writed be of a drama queen? this

> is of

> > > confuing concepts

> > > yet intriguing because i to be use much word

> > > comparisons too life

> > > things too but I to only understand the ones

> I

> > to

> > > create and think

> > > on new ones from others is of foriegn in

> > concepts. i

> > > to think this

> > > is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated

> with

> > self

> > > too because even

> > > my own childrens make of fun to me because i

> to

> > lack

> > > getting waht

> > > seems to obvious to others and it just makes

> > ofme

> > > feeling stupid

> > > because i to not get it.

> > >

> > > Example the husband to come to the room and

> to

> > ask

> > > of me what do i

> > > to want it to be titled? I to be to say

> what? I

> > to

> > > not ahve clue to

> > > hims words but the kids might be to say the

> CD

> > daddy

> > > told yo last

> > > week he will make for you, How can they be

> to

> > know

> > > of this I to lack

> > > as cant associate or infer and this leaves

> me

> > > feeling so very stupid

> > > even to my own childrens. Sondra

> > >

> > > In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi "

> > >

> > > wrote:

> > > >

> > > > Sondra, that is referring to women who are

> > called

> > > " drama queens " .

> > > > Picture a woman wearing a crown because

> she

> > won

> > > for most dramatic.

> > > > When the term to check the tiara's at the

> > door,

> > > that means we

> > > should

> > > > leave our roles as drama queens outside

> the

> > > message board. In other

> > > > words, stop being overly dramatic.

> > > >

> > > > HTH,

> > > > Debi

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > i to lacked there was of fight here but

> I to

> > > guess it is

> > > happening

> > > > > again. I to be to shayed words that were

> not

> > > right or be to

> > > caused it

> > > > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to

> not

> > get

> > > of you words here

> > > what

> > > > > does it to be to mean below/ I to

> understand

> > > girls and or drama

> > > but

> > > > > that is the only big word that brings a

> > visual

> > > to me the rest is

> > > of

> > > > > confusing.

> > > > >

> > > > > > Check your tiara's at the door

> girls!!!

> > > > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Dear Missy, this is the board to get all your frustrations out. Only a mother

knows what it is like with an autistic child and only Kassi knows what its like

to be Autistic. Kassi can only give you her perception of things. Why can't we

all just understand that!! Just know that when you post something that has to do

with your struggles your gonna get from Kassi. Just ignore the negative post and

move on. she even said it herself " We still don't know when y'all are joking " .

So that is a clear indication that Kassi is coming from a different perspective.

And Kassi, you have no idea what it is like to watch your child suffer. Yes, I

mean suffer.....constant constipation, feelings of being overwhelmed, stimming

for hours because you can't stop or verbalize your anxiety. I am sure you have

the other perspective BUT you do not have the perspective of a mother. Watching

your child suffer the effects of Autism is almost as painful as being autistic.

Watching someone you love in pain is just as debilitating and deserves YOUR

respect. BUT I also understand that you cannot possibly take this as

constructive critisism because that is what is unique to you, Kassi. You have a

very difficult time understanding what it is like on THIS side of the

rainbow.And that is alright too.

To make a VERY long story short. Everyone should stay, say what they need to

say, and just accept Kassi's backlash;))))) (that means I am smiling!!)

Bridget

Re: Re: Autism

> Speaks

> > Video

> >

> >

> > Apparently she thinks I was being

> overdramatic,

> > since

> > she replied to my message.

> >

> > But she's never had her mother tell her she'd

> > rather

> > be dead than deal with her, suggest that she

> kill

> > herself, or gone through what the child in the

> > video

> > did. I've had the first 2.

> >

> > Being passionate isn't being a drama queen.

> it's

> > having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly

> > butterfly hair clips...

> >

> > Kassiane

> >

> > --- sondra wrote:

> >

> > > who was being of overly dramatic i to be

> > confused

> > > how one can tell

> > > of ones being drama quen when they cannot be

> to

> > see

> > > the person . how

> > > can words writed be of a drama queen? this

> is of

> > > confuing concepts

> > > yet intriguing because i to be use much word

> > > comparisons too life

> > > things too but I to only understand the ones

> I

> > to

> > > create and think

> > > on new ones from others is of foriegn in

> > concepts. i

> > > to think this

> > > is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated

> with

> > self

> > > too because even

> > > my own childrens make of fun to me because i

> to

> > lack

> > > getting waht

> > > seems to obvious to others and it just makes

> > ofme

> > > feeling stupid

> > > because i to not get it.

> > >

> > > Example the husband to come to the room and

> to

> > ask

> > > of me what do i

> > > to want it to be titled? I to be to say

> what? I

> > to

> > > not ahve clue to

> > > hims words but the kids might be to say the

> CD

> > daddy

> > > told yo last

> > > week he will make for you, How can they be

> to

> > know

> > > of this I to lack

> > > as cant associate or infer and this leaves

> me

> > > feeling so very stupid

> > > even to my own childrens. Sondra

> > >

> > > In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi "

> > >

> > > wrote:

> > > >

> > > > Sondra, that is referring to women who are

> > called

> > > " drama queens " .

> > > > Picture a woman wearing a crown because

> she

> > won

> > > for most dramatic.

> > > > When the term to check the tiara's at the

> > door,

> > > that means we

> > > should

> > > > leave our roles as drama queens outside

> the

> > > message board. In other

> > > > words, stop being overly dramatic.

> > > >

> > > > HTH,

> > > > Debi

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > i to lacked there was of fight here but

> I to

> > > guess it is

> > > happening

> > > > > again. I to be to shayed words that were

> not

> > > right or be to

> > > caused it

> > > > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to

> not

> > get

> > > of you words here

> > > what

> > > > > does it to be to mean below/ I to

> understand

> > > girls and or drama

> > > but

> > > > > that is the only big word that brings a

> > visual

> > > to me the rest is

> > > of

> > > > > confusing.

> > > > >

> > > > > > Check your tiara's at the door

> girls!!!

> > > > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Thank you Bridgette

I was trying to email Kassi to say exactly what you just wrote but I sometimes

have problems getting things out and it was coming out all wrong.

My husband tells me that is my autistic side :-) He thinks I have lots of

autistic traits :-)

Missy

Re: Re: Autism

> Speaks

> > Video

> >

> >

> > Apparently she thinks I was being

> overdramatic,

> > since

> > she replied to my message.

> >

> > But she's never had her mother tell her she'd

> > rather

> > be dead than deal with her, suggest that she

> kill

> > herself, or gone through what the child in the

> > video

> > did. I've had the first 2.

> >

> > Being passionate isn't being a drama queen.

> it's

> > having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly

> > butterfly hair clips...

> >

> > Kassiane

> >

> > --- sondra wrote:

> >

> > > who was being of overly dramatic i to be

> > confused

> > > how one can tell

> > > of ones being drama quen when they cannot be

> to

> > see

> > > the person . how

> > > can words writed be of a drama queen? this

> is of

> > > confuing concepts

> > > yet intriguing because i to be use much word

> > > comparisons too life

> > > things too but I to only understand the ones

> I

> > to

> > > create and think

> > > on new ones from others is of foriegn in

> > concepts. i

> > > to think this

> > > is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated

> with

> > self

> > > too because even

> > > my own childrens make of fun to me because i

> to

> > lack

> > > getting waht

> > > seems to obvious to others and it just makes

> > ofme

> > > feeling stupid

> > > because i to not get it.

> > >

> > > Example the husband to come to the room and

> to

> > ask

> > > of me what do i

> > > to want it to be titled? I to be to say

> what? I

> > to

> > > not ahve clue to

> > > hims words but the kids might be to say the

> CD

> > daddy

> > > told yo last

> > > week he will make for you, How can they be

> to

> > know

> > > of this I to lack

> > > as cant associate or infer and this leaves

> me

> > > feeling so very stupid

> > > even to my own childrens. Sondra

> > >

> > > In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi "

> > >

> > > wrote:

> > > >

> > > > Sondra, that is referring to women who are

> > called

> > > " drama queens " .

> > > > Picture a woman wearing a crown because

> she

> > won

> > > for most dramatic.

> > > > When the term to check the tiara's at the

> > door,

> > > that means we

> > > should

> > > > leave our roles as drama queens outside

> the

> > > message board. In other

> > > > words, stop being overly dramatic.

> > > >

> > > > HTH,

> > > > Debi

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > i to lacked there was of fight here but

> I to

> > > guess it is

> > > happening

> > > > > again. I to be to shayed words that were

> not

> > > right or be to

> > > caused it

> > > > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to

> not

> > get

> > > of you words here

> > > what

> > > > > does it to be to mean below/ I to

> understand

> > > girls and or drama

> > > but

> > > > > that is the only big word that brings a

> > visual

> > > to me the rest is

> > > of

> > > > > confusing.

> > > > >

> > > > > > Check your tiara's at the door

> girls!!!

> > > > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Missy, your questions about your daughter are welcome. However, this

group does have misunderstandings because 1) there are a number of

people on spectrum here 2)this is written communication and 3) NT

people use lots of abstract thoughts and people with autism don't

comprehend abstract thoughts. When I first joined the board I didn't

know how to take it, either, but most of us have come to realize each

other's personality. If you like diversity and a lot of differing,

colorful personalities, this is the place.

Kassi and I have argued over the time, but I think we both love each

other and respect each other dearly, same with everyone else. Most of

the issues were me understanding her and her perspective, it's

different from the norm. She has helped me immensely learn what I need

to do to be a better parent. I don't know if you've been on other

autism boards, we'll all go through phases of debate and arguing, then

we all get calm again.

HTH,

Debi

[Guest guest]

Thank you Debi it helps alot sometimes I misunderstood stand things.

I did not know Kassi or anyone else on here was autistic when I made the Tiara

joke.

I had just found it cute. My sense of humour may be strange I don't know?

But I thank you for helping me understand. After last night I was not sure what

the point of the group was anymore and was a afraid to ask questions.

So thanks so much.

Missy

Re: Autism Speaks Video

Missy, your questions about your daughter are welcome. However, this

group does have misunderstandings because 1) there are a number of

people on spectrum here 2)this is written communication and 3) NT

people use lots of abstract thoughts and people with autism don't

comprehend abstract thoughts. When I first joined the board I didn't

know how to take it, either, but most of us have come to realize each

other's personality. If you like diversity and a lot of differing,

colorful personalities, this is the place.

Kassi and I have argued over the time, but I think we both love each

other and respect each other dearly, same with everyone else. Most of

the issues were me understanding her and her perspective, it's

different from the norm. She has helped me immensely learn what I need

to do to be a better parent. I don't know if you've been on other

autism boards, we'll all go through phases of debate and arguing, then

we all get calm again.

HTH,

Debi

Autism_in_Girls-subscribe

------------------------

Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe

[Guest guest]

Yes, Debi hit it right (down to I love her and she

loves me). And I love the list in general.

I also love autistic kids, both in the general sense

and specific children I have had the privledge to work

with.

Questions here are most welcome, I'm pretty sure thats

why the list started...I wasn't around then.

Kassiane

autistic 23 1/2 years and counting

--- Missy and Brent Pearsall

wrote:

> Thank you Debi it helps alot sometimes I

> misunderstood stand things.

> I did not know Kassi or anyone else on here was

> autistic when I made the Tiara joke.

> I had just found it cute. My sense of humour may be

> strange I don't know?

> But I thank you for helping me understand. After

> last night I was not sure what the point of the

> group was anymore and was a afraid to ask questions.

> So thanks so much.

> Missy

> Re: Autism Speaks Video

>

>

> Missy, your questions about your daughter are

> welcome. However, this

> group does have misunderstandings because 1) there

> are a number of

> people on spectrum here 2)this is written

> communication and 3) NT

> people use lots of abstract thoughts and people

> with autism don't

> comprehend abstract thoughts. When I first joined

> the board I didn't

> know how to take it, either, but most of us have

> come to realize each

> other's personality. If you like diversity and a

> lot of differing,

> colorful personalities, this is the place.

>

> Kassi and I have argued over the time, but I think

> we both love each

> other and respect each other dearly, same with

> everyone else. Most of

> the issues were me understanding her and her

> perspective, it's

> different from the norm. She has helped me

> immensely learn what I need

> to do to be a better parent. I don't know if

> you've been on other

> autism boards, we'll all go through phases of

> debate and arguing, then

> we all get calm again.

>

> HTH,

> Debi

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Autism_in_Girls-subscribe

> ------------------------

> Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Debi, What other autism boards do you post on and where can I find them?

I post on baby center but that is the only other one I know.

I am still kind of new to this my daughter was diagnosed just this past November

Thanks

Missy

Re: Autism Speaks Video

Missy, your questions about your daughter are welcome. However, this

group does have misunderstandings because 1) there are a number of

people on spectrum here 2)this is written communication and 3) NT

people use lots of abstract thoughts and people with autism don't

comprehend abstract thoughts. When I first joined the board I didn't

know how to take it, either, but most of us have come to realize each

other's personality. If you like diversity and a lot of differing,

colorful personalities, this is the place.

Kassi and I have argued over the time, but I think we both love each

other and respect each other dearly, same with everyone else. Most of

the issues were me understanding her and her perspective, it's

different from the norm. She has helped me immensely learn what I need

to do to be a better parent. I don't know if you've been on other

autism boards, we'll all go through phases of debate and arguing, then

we all get calm again.

HTH,

Debi

Autism_in_Girls-subscribe

------------------------

Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe

[Guest guest]

Ah yes, the weird Al fan. I had forgot about the hours of UHF. What is in

the box Kassi?

Pennie

Abby's Mom

[Guest guest]

Oh dear, I'm on so many of them! Let me tell you in advance, there are

some very colorful people on these boards, from Marxist socialists to

capitalist right-wingers and everything in between, including some who

seem to definitely fit multiple DSM-IV criteria, lol.

Here are the one's I'm on as links so you can join if you want:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/abmd/

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/autism-awareness-action/

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Autism-Mercury/

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Autism_LDN/

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/autismaba/

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/chelatingkids2/

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/EnzymesandAutism/

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/GFCFrecipes/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EOHarm/?yguid=87859383

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Meta-mito-autism/?yguid=87859383

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OC-Assist-Dogs/?yguid=87859383

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/RDI_NC/?yguid=87859383

<blushing at my message board obsession being made public> Let me say,

I don't normally read from all these sites every day. I've joined them

because of specific interest at one time or another, but sometimes I

pop in and read/research/post. Also, I'm particularly interested in

the biomedical treatments of autism, so that's what many of these are.

Have you taken your daughter to a DAN! style practitioner? There are

some good treatments out there and the younger the child, the better

the outcomes seem to be.

HTH,

Debi

[Guest guest]

Lol, don't even get me started on strange sense of humor. I'm the

worst. My hubby is constantly shaking his head at the things i find funny!

Debi, who likes " The Office " and reads " Dick and Jane " with a 1-900

operator voice.

-

[Guest guest]

Ok.

This made my cats go running off. I guess I have a

strange sense of humor too because the THOUGHT made me

laugh so hard it startled them.

Kassiane, BBC America & Weird Al fan...

--- Debi wrote:

> Lol, don't even get me started on strange sense of

> humor. I'm the

> worst. My hubby is constantly shaking his head at

> the things i find funny!

>

> Debi, who likes " The Office " and reads " Dick and

> Jane " with a 1-900

> operator voice.

>

>

> -

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/19/2006 10:18:55 AM Central Daylight Time,

liquidc2@... writes:

I have also written new words to " If I were a rich

man " from fiddler on the Roof to " If I were a Chipmunk. "

Ha Ha, now that's a song I'd like to hear!

Sandi (Allie's Mom)

Houston

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/19/2006 11:18:44 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

liquidc2@... writes:

I can sing like Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks. I did the national

anthem as a chipmunk

Oh my goodness my daughter would LOVE you! Can you come up to

Massachusetts and visit? She loves loves loves the " chipmunk " voices and

dissolved in

joy and laughter once when she found that pressing record, play, and rewind all

at the same time on her recorder made the sound into " chipmunk " .

Melinda