Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 I try telling them. A large number of people don't listen. So let me tell y'all a story about a little boy named . He was nonverbal mostly, aggressive from frustration, and seemed to have no receptive language. At least until his mom told me to do some stuff with him then take him swimming. Suddenly he was grabbing his bag, shoving my keys into my hand, and signing " car " . He'd been rocking and making his squeal noise until the magical S word came up. knew everything that was going on and outsmarted every adult to ever work with him. Ever. Autism is like an input-output short. The input doesn't always come in right, but it does come in. The " computer " looks inactive because the brain is always processing, because we take in EVERYTHING. From the crickets to the buzz of electricity to what's being said to touches, sights, smells...every sense is either too little or too much so the making-sense-of-it routine takes a while and may require stims like rocking, flapping, zoning out. And then the output device isn't real reliable. There's also a couple processor parts that don't work too well (namely the social stuff and understanding metaphors or holding onto multiple directions or whatever they may be) and this effects the output. Sometimes the processing aspect is so labor intensive that the output device shorts out. Does that make sense? I also think it's best to err on the side of caution, and to assume competence. Assume they understand, even if they may not. Better than the pain that cant be released from years of hearing a parent say things that would just KILL anyone's self esteem. Kassiane --- Cristy Estep wrote: > Kassiane, > I think the big problem is that most people don't > realize that the > kids can hear what's being said, they seem to be in > their own world > sometimes BUT they are hearing what's going on, they > do know what's > said. At least that's what I believe. I think it's a > little scary > too. Kassi, maybe you could enlighten others on how > autistics are > really in there knowing what's going on on the > outside even if they > don't seem like it. People do need to know how it > really is. > I think one of the worst things about autism is > people's > perceptions about what's going on, or not going on > in the mind of > the autistic person. I know with my daughter it's > hard to know what > she's aware of when. Cause she can't communicate > much yet. I have to > keep telling myself to be careful of what I do and > say so I don't do > something to hurt her feelings, or embarass her. > It's hard. I know > most people think she doesn't know a bit of what's > going on. It is > difficult to deal with for me, yes, but that's > because I'm always > wondering what she knows, what to say, or how to say > it. I'm always > thinking of how she might feel. I think that's the > worst part for me > being her parent. The not knowing. Because her > feelings are the most > important thing in the world to me. If I could read > her mind I'd be > the happiest person in the world and the rest would > be cake. > Cristy > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > This is the best video on what it's like to > be a > > > > > parent in the world > > > > > of autism that I've ever watched. It's 13 > > > minutes > > > > > long and on the > > > > > Autism Speaks website (in case the link > below > > > > > doesn't work). Prepare > > > > > yourself beforehand. I'm sitting here > typing > > > with > > > > > tears streaming > > > > > down my face. Even though I live it, to see > it > > > on > > > > > the screen takes > > > > > your breath away. > > > > > > > > > > Diane ('s Mom) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://www.autismspeaks.org/sponsoredevents/autism_every_day.php > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 I've realized in the last few years that Alyssa does understand quit a bit, way more than it appears she hears/understands. A side note: During RDIĀ® training, we learned that in Houston at the Connections Center, they never under any circumstance discuss the child in front of the child, and we are to do the same. > > > Kassiane, > > I think the big problem is that most people don't > > realize that the > > kids can hear what's being said, they seem to be in > > their own world > > sometimes BUT they are hearing what's going on, they > > do know what's > > said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 I am sure that anything I say will be what everyone here already knows, for this group is filled with highly intelligent and passionate people. Yet as it is proven by human history, there will always be two elements to every controversy; emotion and logic. It is quite possible for one to be at peace with his or her logic, while still remaining in emotional turmoil. A common example is the need to cry after the death of a sick family member. Logically, the death was a positive passing from pain to perfection, but we emotionally feel a void and therefore cry. Does it make the mourner selfish? No. It simply means that despite all logic, the passing of this loved one leaves a void we feel as great emotional pain. Death is not the only place where we feel this conflict between logic and emotion. We feel it in our search for faith, in our search for love and most definitely in our growth as parents. It is in our drive that we as humans strive for idealism and perfection, whatever we may understand (or in some cases simply feel) that picture of perfection to be. As parents we want our children not to BE perfect, but to live IN perfection. We hope for a world with no pain, no problems and endless love and tolerance. We are too creatures of this world and many of us have come to the realization that we cannot change the world and thus force ourselves, usually out of exhaustion, to conform in ways while choosing our true battles. Parents hope to save their child from this struggle and project their idealism of perfection upon the child in hopes the child will learn through the example of the parent's mistake and the child will therefore avoid the mistake all together. Children, no matter who they are, all show resistance to this. They throw fits, commit acts of defiance, lie, sneak, cheat and eventually, after a charge of hormones burns neurotransmitters in their brains, they look you straight in the eye and list your inadequacies for you, just in case you forgot. On some level or another, all children go throw this process and it's called growing. Parenting is tiresome. Whether your child is normal or not, parenting is a full time, life time challenge. When you add individualism and characteristics, this adds complications not to the child's ability to adjust, but to the parent's ability to nurture in a way they feel is most effective. Autism is a form of individualism that provides parenting challenges. Autistic children still have to grow and mature just like NT children and therefore parents are still driven to teach and protect them. I can certainly admit I was NOT an easy child to raise and I do not fault my mother for the times when she broke down, got frustrated or agitated over things I did. NT parents do have something in common with autistics. They too say things that hurt feelings or choose the wrong words. When you become so overloaded that emotion speaks, words tend to take on a new color. Passion is not an emotion, but rather an entity that acts as amplification to other emotions. Passion can make anger turn to acts of violence, sadness turn to depression and happiness turn to insanity. All of creation was certainly not meant to live inside the container which sin built for it, but it is a reality we must all struggle with anyhow. Perhaps the way to some peace will be a change of perspective. We all must lower our anxiety if we wish to have the clarity to adjust and drive through each day. There is a great example for this that was sent to me by a good friend: As you might know, the head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started kindergarten. Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts. One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time. One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an auto accident. One of them missed his bus. One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change. One's car wouldn't start. One went back to answer the telephone. One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he should have. One couldn't get a taxi. The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today. Remember these survivors and their reasons, parents, next time your not so cookie cutter child pulls your last ounce of energy and puts it out like baking soda on a grease fire. Try to see past the situation and see a greater cause. Remember these survivors and their reasons, autistics, the next time you hear a parent cry because their autistic child has brought them to the end of their rope. Remember this is the price parents pay for trying to allow the child to be his or herself, despite the enormous pressure by society, doctors, authors, psychiatrists, schools and politicians to MAKE autistics conform to the mold of " tried and true " conventional traditionalism. Just because parents may be NT, does not mean they get all of the social nuances or ways of the world, and now the very things parents tried to set aside as a battle not worth fighting are suddenly thrust back into their lives because their autistic child asks " why " and the parent actually cares to try and answer. The " inconveniences " of dealing with one another and the teeter tottering of emotions may be the heated topic of discussion today and may feel as if we have to keep reliving life over and over again, but at least we have lived. Controversy? Well, I think controversy at least proves that people are still willing to turn off their TV's, get off the couch and fight for something they believe in. My two cents. Nadine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 This is the reason I stay in this group. Thanks you Kassi for once again giving me insight into why my daughter acts as she does. I liken the squabbles in this group to a large family, albeit online....we get on each others nerves sometimes, but we really love each other all the time!! Diane ('s Mom) Re: Re: Autism Speaks Video I try telling them. A large number of people don't listen. So let me tell y'all a story about a little boy named . He was nonverbal mostly, aggressive from frustration, and seemed to have no receptive language. At least until his mom told me to do some stuff with him then take him swimming. Suddenly he was grabbing his bag, shoving my keys into my hand, and signing " car " . He'd been rocking and making his squeal noise until the magical S word came up. knew everything that was going on and outsmarted every adult to ever work with him. Ever. Autism is like an input-output short. The input doesn't always come in right, but it does come in. The " computer " looks inactive because the brain is always processing, because we take in EVERYTHING. From the crickets to the buzz of electricity to what's being said to touches, sights, smells...every sense is either too little or too much so the making-sense-of-it routine takes a while and may require stims like rocking, flapping, zoning out. And then the output device isn't real reliable. There's also a couple processor parts that don't work too well (namely the social stuff and understanding metaphors or holding onto multiple directions or whatever they may be) and this effects the output. Sometimes the processing aspect is so labor intensive that the output device shorts out. Does that make sense? I also think it's best to err on the side of caution, and to assume competence. Assume they understand, even if they may not. Better than the pain that cant be released from years of hearing a parent say things that would just KILL anyone's self esteem. Kassiane --- Cristy Estep wrote: > Kassiane, > I think the big problem is that most people don't > realize that the > kids can hear what's being said, they seem to be in > their own world > sometimes BUT they are hearing what's going on, they > do know what's > said. At least that's what I believe. I think it's a > little scary > too. Kassi, maybe you could enlighten others on how > autistics are > really in there knowing what's going on on the > outside even if they > don't seem like it. People do need to know how it > really is. > I think one of the worst things about autism is > people's > perceptions about what's going on, or not going on > in the mind of > the autistic person. I know with my daughter it's > hard to know what > she's aware of when. Cause she can't communicate > much yet. I have to > keep telling myself to be careful of what I do and > say so I don't do > something to hurt her feelings, or embarass her. > It's hard. I know > most people think she doesn't know a bit of what's > going on. It is > difficult to deal with for me, yes, but that's > because I'm always > wondering what she knows, what to say, or how to say > it. I'm always > thinking of how she might feel. I think that's the > worst part for me > being her parent. The not knowing. Because her > feelings are the most > important thing in the world to me. If I could read > her mind I'd be > the happiest person in the world and the rest would > be cake. > Cristy > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > This is the best video on what it's like to > be a > > > > > parent in the world > > > > > of autism that I've ever watched. It's 13 > > > minutes > > > > > long and on the > > > > > Autism Speaks website (in case the link > below > > > > > doesn't work). Prepare > > > > > yourself beforehand. I'm sitting here > typing > > > with > > > > > tears streaming > > > > > down my face. Even though I live it, to see > it > > > on > > > > > the screen takes > > > > > your breath away. > > > > > > > > > > Diane ('s Mom) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://www.autismspeaks.org/sponsoredevents/autism_every_day.php > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Cristy, I know what you mean. Many times I have talked to and she seemed unaware of what I was saying. She has then come back to me several days, weeks and months later to remind me of when I said so and so, verbatim!!! I realized quickly that she was hearing everything we said. She will also tell me about conversations I've had with others, like her Dad, when we've been disagreeing and she'll quote what we said to each other. She can also tell me when we've been somewhere before, even if it was just once when she was a baby. I remember we went to a park about 6 months ago and I said to her that it was nice and mentioned it was the first time we had been there. She corrected me and told me we had been there when she was still in a stroller (she couldn't have been more than two at the time). She then proceeded to tell me what landmarks in the park we were going to see BEFORE we got there, ie., " remember the wood swing and the ducks, Mom? " before we were at the part where there were swings and ducks!!!! These kids are amazing. Diane ('s Mom) Re: Autism Speaks Video Kassiane, I think the big problem is that most people don't realize that the kids can hear what's being said, they seem to be in their own world sometimes BUT they are hearing what's going on, they do know what's said. At least that's what I believe. I think it's a little scary too. Kassi, maybe you could enlighten others on how autistics are really in there knowing what's going on on the outside even if they don't seem like it. People do need to know how it really is. I think one of the worst things about autism is people's perceptions about what's going on, or not going on in the mind of the autistic person. I know with my daughter it's hard to know what she's aware of when. Cause she can't communicate much yet. I have to keep telling myself to be careful of what I do and say so I don't do something to hurt her feelings, or embarass her. It's hard. I know most people think she doesn't know a bit of what's going on. It is difficult to deal with for me, yes, but that's because I'm always wondering what she knows, what to say, or how to say it. I'm always thinking of how she might feel. I think that's the worst part for me being her parent. The not knowing. Because her feelings are the most important thing in the world to me. If I could read her mind I'd be the happiest person in the world and the rest would be cake. Cristy > > > > > > > > > > > This is the best video on what it's like to be a > > > > parent in the world > > > > of autism that I've ever watched. It's 13 > > minutes > > > > long and on the > > > > Autism Speaks website (in case the link below > > > > doesn't work). Prepare > > > > yourself beforehand. I'm sitting here typing > > with > > > > tears streaming > > > > down my face. Even though I live it, to see it > > on > > > > the screen takes > > > > your breath away. > > > > > > > > Diane ('s Mom) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://www.autismspeaks.org/sponsoredevents/autism_every_day.php > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 yes it is of true many think because we do not speak or have of expressed words to show where our thinkings is to be that we to have none. I to say this for many years and few were able to grasp that, now many understand this in us. some of the kids do a blue gumball (look at gumball theory at (www.thegraycenter.org)as I to call it and give you a glimpse of how aware and connected we are even if our body langauge and gestures do not indicate it to others. I to be to share be to speak to us as if we are typically attending even if we donot grasp the intent, or inferred meanings or be of to take it literally we are listning and absorbing. I to say we are like a sponge. it all goes in but it takes just enough soaking before it can drip off in way others can see it. Sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Kassi, The tiara thing was supposed to be a joke to lighten the mood sorry if you took it the wrong way, a women on my birth club board has it as a blinkie and I found it cute. I understand you have convictions and I was wasn't referring to your opinons as dramatic but I was refering to your comment when got offended as dramatic your exact words were " I wasn't attacking. can though, if you wish " I just was trying to stop the arquing because when things like that start getting said it is getting rude and dramatic. A simple sorry I wasn't attacking you would have been sufficent. So anyhow I was just trying to lighten the mood. Notice How I have not even brought up my feelings of the video. I have my opinons too I just didn't think we needed to spend days going on and on about 1 video when there are a million other things we could be discussing in the group. Thanks Missy Re: Re: Autism Speaks Video Apparently she thinks I was being overdramatic, since she replied to my message. But she's never had her mother tell her she'd rather be dead than deal with her, suggest that she kill herself, or gone through what the child in the video did. I've had the first 2. Being passionate isn't being a drama queen. it's having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly butterfly hair clips... Kassiane --- sondra wrote: > who was being of overly dramatic i to be confused > how one can tell > of ones being drama quen when they cannot be to see > the person . how > can words writed be of a drama queen? this is of > confuing concepts > yet intriguing because i to be use much word > comparisons too life > things too but I to only understand the ones I to > create and think > on new ones from others is of foriegn in concepts. i > to think this > is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated with self > too because even > my own childrens make of fun to me because i to lack > getting waht > seems to obvious to others and it just makes ofme > feeling stupid > because i to not get it. > > Example the husband to come to the room and to ask > of me what do i > to want it to be titled? I to be to say what? I to > not ahve clue to > hims words but the kids might be to say the CD daddy > told yo last > week he will make for you, How can they be to know > of this I to lack > as cant associate or infer and this leaves me > feeling so very stupid > even to my own childrens. Sondra > > In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi " > > wrote: > > > > Sondra, that is referring to women who are called > " drama queens " . > > Picture a woman wearing a crown because she won > for most dramatic. > > When the term to check the tiara's at the door, > that means we > should > > leave our roles as drama queens outside the > message board. In other > > words, stop being overly dramatic. > > > > HTH, > > Debi > > > > > > > > > > i to lacked there was of fight here but I to > guess it is > happening > > > again. I to be to shayed words that were not > right or be to > caused it > > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to not get > of you words here > what > > > does it to be to mean below/ I to understand > girls and or drama > but > > > that is the only big word that brings a visual > to me the rest is > of > > > confusing. > > > > > > > Check your tiara's at the door girls!!! > > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE! > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 knew everything > that was going on and outsmarted every adult to ever > work with him. Ever. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 This is exactly what I always tell parents and tutors too. I have seen lots of kids show me over and over that they are listening and understanding way more than most people would give them credit for. The most recent example I have is a little guy I work with, 3 years old, just starting to verbalize his wants/needs. We were trying for months to teach him object labels, but it wasn't going anywhere. I was getting a little frustrated with it, because all his other skills progress so fast I usually can't keep up with him. Anyway, I went to observe him at school, and there he was, labeling up a storm! So I told him, " That's it, you're caught, I know you can do it, and you will start showing us you can do it at home! " Never had a problem again. He flew through that lesson in less than 2 weeks and is now expressively labeling as well. He definitely understood exactly what I meant! Amnesty > I also think it's best to err on the side of caution, > and to assume competence. Assume they understand, even > if they may not. Better than the pain that cant be > released from years of hearing a parent say things > that would just KILL anyone's self esteem. > > Kassiane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 I don't totally agree with that. There are some things that I think should be discussed in front of kids, and even more importantly, WITH kids. I've had kids who would pay such close attention to team meetings or discussions that they would often start doing something new just because they heard that was the next thing we were going to be working on. Obviously, I don't think anything negative should be said in front of a child, but I think there are circumstances that would call for the child listening. We also don't want them to feel like everyone is talking about them behind their back, and not including them in their own goals, especially for older kids. Amnesty > > > > > Kassiane, > > > I think the big problem is that most people don't > > > realize that the > > > kids can hear what's being said, they seem to be in > > > their own world > > > sometimes BUT they are hearing what's going on, they > > > do know what's > > > said. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Im not going to be sorry for people taking me wrong without even ASKING. Im not going to apologize for how whenever there's contention or misunderstanding between autistics and nonautistics it's ALWAYS the autistic's fault somehow. I've done enough of apologizing for things I'm a) not sorry for didnt do c) wouldn't be sorry for even if I HAD done them. If people are going to persist in thinking I'm attacking them, I can show them what a real attack looks like, so they'll have a clear idea in their head of what it is and is not. Makes sense to me. Read the archives. Note that every time someone has issue with what I say (and usually it's a misunderstanding) it's all *my* fault. Grew up with that and as soon as I could I said " NO MORE false, social apologies. " I am who I am. If I don't mean it I don't say it. Simple. Kassiane --- Missy and Brent Pearsall wrote: > Kassi, The tiara thing was supposed to be a joke to > lighten the mood sorry if you took it the wrong way, > a women on my birth club board has it as a blinkie > and I found it cute. > I understand you have convictions and I was wasn't > referring to your opinons as dramatic but I was > refering to your comment when got offended as > dramatic your exact words were " I wasn't attacking. > can though, if you wish " > I just was trying to stop the arquing because when > things like that start getting said it is getting > rude and dramatic. > A simple sorry I wasn't attacking you would have > been sufficent. > So anyhow I was just trying to lighten the mood. > Notice How I have not even brought up my feelings of > the video. I have my opinons too I just didn't think > we needed to spend days going on and on about 1 > video when there are a million other things we could > be discussing in the group. > Thanks > Missy > Re: Re: Autism Speaks > Video > > > Apparently she thinks I was being overdramatic, > since > she replied to my message. > > But she's never had her mother tell her she'd > rather > be dead than deal with her, suggest that she kill > herself, or gone through what the child in the > video > did. I've had the first 2. > > Being passionate isn't being a drama queen. it's > having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly > butterfly hair clips... > > Kassiane > > --- sondra wrote: > > > who was being of overly dramatic i to be > confused > > how one can tell > > of ones being drama quen when they cannot be to > see > > the person . how > > can words writed be of a drama queen? this is of > > confuing concepts > > yet intriguing because i to be use much word > > comparisons too life > > things too but I to only understand the ones I > to > > create and think > > on new ones from others is of foriegn in > concepts. i > > to think this > > is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated with > self > > too because even > > my own childrens make of fun to me because i to > lack > > getting waht > > seems to obvious to others and it just makes > ofme > > feeling stupid > > because i to not get it. > > > > Example the husband to come to the room and to > ask > > of me what do i > > to want it to be titled? I to be to say what? I > to > > not ahve clue to > > hims words but the kids might be to say the CD > daddy > > told yo last > > week he will make for you, How can they be to > know > > of this I to lack > > as cant associate or infer and this leaves me > > feeling so very stupid > > even to my own childrens. Sondra > > > > In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi " > > > > wrote: > > > > > > Sondra, that is referring to women who are > called > > " drama queens " . > > > Picture a woman wearing a crown because she > won > > for most dramatic. > > > When the term to check the tiara's at the > door, > > that means we > > should > > > leave our roles as drama queens outside the > > message board. In other > > > words, stop being overly dramatic. > > > > > > HTH, > > > Debi > > > > > > > > > > > > > > i to lacked there was of fight here but I to > > guess it is > > happening > > > > again. I to be to shayed words that were not > > right or be to > > caused it > > > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to not > get > > of you words here > > what > > > > does it to be to mean below/ I to understand > > girls and or drama > > but > > > > that is the only big word that brings a > visual > > to me the rest is > > of > > > > confusing. > > > > > > > > > Check your tiara's at the door girls!!! > > > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Geesh, Please calm down I wasn't blaming you just trying to lighten up the whole group. I am sorry if you feel that you get attacked or whatever. I don't even know you I just saw this group taking a negative turn and wanted to make everyone giggle and move from a disaggreement. Maybe you keep missing the point of my post I don't know???? From now on if anyone has " personal " issues with any one maybe it would be best to email them directly instead of to the whole group. Anyhow just an idea. I have lots of things about my daughter to ask but I am starting to think maybe this is not the group seems it appears to just be a bunch of misunderstandings? Missy Re: Re: Autism Speaks > Video > > > Apparently she thinks I was being overdramatic, > since > she replied to my message. > > But she's never had her mother tell her she'd > rather > be dead than deal with her, suggest that she kill > herself, or gone through what the child in the > video > did. I've had the first 2. > > Being passionate isn't being a drama queen. it's > having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly > butterfly hair clips... > > Kassiane > > --- sondra wrote: > > > who was being of overly dramatic i to be > confused > > how one can tell > > of ones being drama quen when they cannot be to > see > > the person . how > > can words writed be of a drama queen? this is of > > confuing concepts > > yet intriguing because i to be use much word > > comparisons too life > > things too but I to only understand the ones I > to > > create and think > > on new ones from others is of foriegn in > concepts. i > > to think this > > is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated with > self > > too because even > > my own childrens make of fun to me because i to > lack > > getting waht > > seems to obvious to others and it just makes > ofme > > feeling stupid > > because i to not get it. > > > > Example the husband to come to the room and to > ask > > of me what do i > > to want it to be titled? I to be to say what? I > to > > not ahve clue to > > hims words but the kids might be to say the CD > daddy > > told yo last > > week he will make for you, How can they be to > know > > of this I to lack > > as cant associate or infer and this leaves me > > feeling so very stupid > > even to my own childrens. Sondra > > > > In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi " > > > > wrote: > > > > > > Sondra, that is referring to women who are > called > > " drama queens " . > > > Picture a woman wearing a crown because she > won > > for most dramatic. > > > When the term to check the tiara's at the > door, > > that means we > > should > > > leave our roles as drama queens outside the > > message board. In other > > > words, stop being overly dramatic. > > > > > > HTH, > > > Debi > > > > > > > > > > > > > > i to lacked there was of fight here but I to > > guess it is > > happening > > > > again. I to be to shayed words that were not > > right or be to > > caused it > > > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to not > get > > of you words here > > what > > > > does it to be to mean below/ I to understand > > girls and or drama > > but > > > > that is the only big word that brings a > visual > > to me the rest is > > of > > > > confusing. > > > > > > > > > Check your tiara's at the door girls!!! > > > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Welcome to autism. We grow up. We still don't know when y'all are joking. And it's OUR fault (see " maybe you keep missing the point " when it could be framed as " maybe I'm not making my point well " ). Maybe you keep missing my point. Oh wait, that's always my fault too for expressing things wrong the first few times. Impossible situations. That's what autistics are put in all the time. That's why we tend to carry extraordinarily high anxiety burdens. Debate isn't a bad thing. Forced social apologies ARE. Any group with any degree of diversity is going to have different points of view. Different people express their POVs differently. Some are soft spoken. Some aren't. Some people skirt around it, gently tapping on their opinion. Some people say things directly. If people can't handle diversity, heaven help them. Or heaven help their children if they're not cookie cutter kids. Kassiane --- Missy and Brent Pearsall wrote: > Geesh, Please calm down I wasn't blaming you just > trying to lighten up the whole group. > I am sorry if you feel that you get attacked or > whatever. I don't even know you I just saw this > group taking a negative turn and wanted to make > everyone giggle and move from a disaggreement. Maybe > you keep missing the point of my post I don't > know???? > From now on if anyone has " personal " issues with any > one maybe it would be best to email them directly > instead of to the whole group. > Anyhow just an idea. > I have lots of things about my daughter to ask but I > am starting to think maybe this is not the group > seems it appears to just be a bunch of > misunderstandings? > Missy > Re: Re: Autism > Speaks > > Video > > > > > > Apparently she thinks I was being > overdramatic, > > since > > she replied to my message. > > > > But she's never had her mother tell her she'd > > rather > > be dead than deal with her, suggest that she > kill > > herself, or gone through what the child in the > > video > > did. I've had the first 2. > > > > Being passionate isn't being a drama queen. > it's > > having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly > > butterfly hair clips... > > > > Kassiane > > > > --- sondra wrote: > > > > > who was being of overly dramatic i to be > > confused > > > how one can tell > > > of ones being drama quen when they cannot be > to > > see > > > the person . how > > > can words writed be of a drama queen? this > is of > > > confuing concepts > > > yet intriguing because i to be use much word > > > comparisons too life > > > things too but I to only understand the ones > I > > to > > > create and think > > > on new ones from others is of foriegn in > > concepts. i > > > to think this > > > is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated > with > > self > > > too because even > > > my own childrens make of fun to me because i > to > > lack > > > getting waht > > > seems to obvious to others and it just makes > > ofme > > > feeling stupid > > > because i to not get it. > > > > > > Example the husband to come to the room and > to > > ask > > > of me what do i > > > to want it to be titled? I to be to say > what? I > > to > > > not ahve clue to > > > hims words but the kids might be to say the > CD > > daddy > > > told yo last > > > week he will make for you, How can they be > to > > know > > > of this I to lack > > > as cant associate or infer and this leaves > me > > > feeling so very stupid > > > even to my own childrens. Sondra > > > > > > In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi " > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > Sondra, that is referring to women who are > > called > > > " drama queens " . > > > > Picture a woman wearing a crown because > she > > won > > > for most dramatic. > > > > When the term to check the tiara's at the > > door, > > > that means we > > > should > > > > leave our roles as drama queens outside > the > > > message board. In other > > > > words, stop being overly dramatic. > > > > > > > > HTH, > > > > Debi > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > i to lacked there was of fight here but > I to > > > guess it is > > > happening > > > > > again. I to be to shayed words that were > not > > > right or be to > > > caused it > > > > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to > not > > get > > > of you words here > > > what > > > > > does it to be to mean below/ I to > understand > > > girls and or drama > > > but > > > > > that is the only big word that brings a > > visual > > > to me the rest is > > > of > > > > > confusing. > > > > > > > > > > > Check your tiara's at the door > girls!!! > > > > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Dear Missy, this is the board to get all your frustrations out. Only a mother knows what it is like with an autistic child and only Kassi knows what its like to be Autistic. Kassi can only give you her perception of things. Why can't we all just understand that!! Just know that when you post something that has to do with your struggles your gonna get from Kassi. Just ignore the negative post and move on. she even said it herself " We still don't know when y'all are joking " . So that is a clear indication that Kassi is coming from a different perspective. And Kassi, you have no idea what it is like to watch your child suffer. Yes, I mean suffer.....constant constipation, feelings of being overwhelmed, stimming for hours because you can't stop or verbalize your anxiety. I am sure you have the other perspective BUT you do not have the perspective of a mother. Watching your child suffer the effects of Autism is almost as painful as being autistic. Watching someone you love in pain is just as debilitating and deserves YOUR respect. BUT I also understand that you cannot possibly take this as constructive critisism because that is what is unique to you, Kassi. You have a very difficult time understanding what it is like on THIS side of the rainbow.And that is alright too. To make a VERY long story short. Everyone should stay, say what they need to say, and just accept Kassi's backlash;))))) (that means I am smiling!!) Bridget Re: Re: Autism > Speaks > > Video > > > > > > Apparently she thinks I was being > overdramatic, > > since > > she replied to my message. > > > > But she's never had her mother tell her she'd > > rather > > be dead than deal with her, suggest that she > kill > > herself, or gone through what the child in the > > video > > did. I've had the first 2. > > > > Being passionate isn't being a drama queen. > it's > > having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly > > butterfly hair clips... > > > > Kassiane > > > > --- sondra wrote: > > > > > who was being of overly dramatic i to be > > confused > > > how one can tell > > > of ones being drama quen when they cannot be > to > > see > > > the person . how > > > can words writed be of a drama queen? this > is of > > > confuing concepts > > > yet intriguing because i to be use much word > > > comparisons too life > > > things too but I to only understand the ones > I > > to > > > create and think > > > on new ones from others is of foriegn in > > concepts. i > > > to think this > > > is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated > with > > self > > > too because even > > > my own childrens make of fun to me because i > to > > lack > > > getting waht > > > seems to obvious to others and it just makes > > ofme > > > feeling stupid > > > because i to not get it. > > > > > > Example the husband to come to the room and > to > > ask > > > of me what do i > > > to want it to be titled? I to be to say > what? I > > to > > > not ahve clue to > > > hims words but the kids might be to say the > CD > > daddy > > > told yo last > > > week he will make for you, How can they be > to > > know > > > of this I to lack > > > as cant associate or infer and this leaves > me > > > feeling so very stupid > > > even to my own childrens. Sondra > > > > > > In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi " > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > Sondra, that is referring to women who are > > called > > > " drama queens " . > > > > Picture a woman wearing a crown because > she > > won > > > for most dramatic. > > > > When the term to check the tiara's at the > > door, > > > that means we > > > should > > > > leave our roles as drama queens outside > the > > > message board. In other > > > > words, stop being overly dramatic. > > > > > > > > HTH, > > > > Debi > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > i to lacked there was of fight here but > I to > > > guess it is > > > happening > > > > > again. I to be to shayed words that were > not > > > right or be to > > > caused it > > > > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to > not > > get > > > of you words here > > > what > > > > > does it to be to mean below/ I to > understand > > > girls and or drama > > > but > > > > > that is the only big word that brings a > > visual > > > to me the rest is > > > of > > > > > confusing. > > > > > > > > > > > Check your tiara's at the door > girls!!! > > > > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Thank you Bridgette I was trying to email Kassi to say exactly what you just wrote but I sometimes have problems getting things out and it was coming out all wrong. My husband tells me that is my autistic side :-) He thinks I have lots of autistic traits :-) Missy Re: Re: Autism > Speaks > > Video > > > > > > Apparently she thinks I was being > overdramatic, > > since > > she replied to my message. > > > > But she's never had her mother tell her she'd > > rather > > be dead than deal with her, suggest that she > kill > > herself, or gone through what the child in the > > video > > did. I've had the first 2. > > > > Being passionate isn't being a drama queen. > it's > > having conviction. No tiara here, just sparkly > > butterfly hair clips... > > > > Kassiane > > > > --- sondra wrote: > > > > > who was being of overly dramatic i to be > > confused > > > how one can tell > > > of ones being drama quen when they cannot be > to > > see > > > the person . how > > > can words writed be of a drama queen? this > is of > > > confuing concepts > > > yet intriguing because i to be use much word > > > comparisons too life > > > things too but I to only understand the ones > I > > to > > > create and think > > > on new ones from others is of foriegn in > > concepts. i > > > to think this > > > is one areas i to get so eaily frustrated > with > > self > > > too because even > > > my own childrens make of fun to me because i > to > > lack > > > getting waht > > > seems to obvious to others and it just makes > > ofme > > > feeling stupid > > > because i to not get it. > > > > > > Example the husband to come to the room and > to > > ask > > > of me what do i > > > to want it to be titled? I to be to say > what? I > > to > > > not ahve clue to > > > hims words but the kids might be to say the > CD > > daddy > > > told yo last > > > week he will make for you, How can they be > to > > know > > > of this I to lack > > > as cant associate or infer and this leaves > me > > > feeling so very stupid > > > even to my own childrens. Sondra > > > > > > In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi " > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > Sondra, that is referring to women who are > > called > > > " drama queens " . > > > > Picture a woman wearing a crown because > she > > won > > > for most dramatic. > > > > When the term to check the tiara's at the > > door, > > > that means we > > > should > > > > leave our roles as drama queens outside > the > > > message board. In other > > > > words, stop being overly dramatic. > > > > > > > > HTH, > > > > Debi > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > i to lacked there was of fight here but > I to > > > guess it is > > > happening > > > > > again. I to be to shayed words that were > not > > > right or be to > > > caused it > > > > > sorry . Missy welcome but in true i to > not > > get > > > of you words here > > > what > > > > > does it to be to mean below/ I to > understand > > > girls and or drama > > > but > > > > > that is the only big word that brings a > > visual > > > to me the rest is > > > of > > > > > confusing. > > > > > > > > > > > Check your tiara's at the door > girls!!! > > > > > > This is a DRAMA FREE ZONE! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Missy, your questions about your daughter are welcome. However, this group does have misunderstandings because 1) there are a number of people on spectrum here 2)this is written communication and 3) NT people use lots of abstract thoughts and people with autism don't comprehend abstract thoughts. When I first joined the board I didn't know how to take it, either, but most of us have come to realize each other's personality. If you like diversity and a lot of differing, colorful personalities, this is the place. Kassi and I have argued over the time, but I think we both love each other and respect each other dearly, same with everyone else. Most of the issues were me understanding her and her perspective, it's different from the norm. She has helped me immensely learn what I need to do to be a better parent. I don't know if you've been on other autism boards, we'll all go through phases of debate and arguing, then we all get calm again. HTH, Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Thank you Debi it helps alot sometimes I misunderstood stand things. I did not know Kassi or anyone else on here was autistic when I made the Tiara joke. I had just found it cute. My sense of humour may be strange I don't know? But I thank you for helping me understand. After last night I was not sure what the point of the group was anymore and was a afraid to ask questions. So thanks so much. Missy Re: Autism Speaks Video Missy, your questions about your daughter are welcome. However, this group does have misunderstandings because 1) there are a number of people on spectrum here 2)this is written communication and 3) NT people use lots of abstract thoughts and people with autism don't comprehend abstract thoughts. When I first joined the board I didn't know how to take it, either, but most of us have come to realize each other's personality. If you like diversity and a lot of differing, colorful personalities, this is the place. Kassi and I have argued over the time, but I think we both love each other and respect each other dearly, same with everyone else. Most of the issues were me understanding her and her perspective, it's different from the norm. She has helped me immensely learn what I need to do to be a better parent. I don't know if you've been on other autism boards, we'll all go through phases of debate and arguing, then we all get calm again. HTH, Debi Autism_in_Girls-subscribe ------------------------ Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Yes, Debi hit it right (down to I love her and she loves me). And I love the list in general. I also love autistic kids, both in the general sense and specific children I have had the privledge to work with. Questions here are most welcome, I'm pretty sure thats why the list started...I wasn't around then. Kassiane autistic 23 1/2 years and counting --- Missy and Brent Pearsall wrote: > Thank you Debi it helps alot sometimes I > misunderstood stand things. > I did not know Kassi or anyone else on here was > autistic when I made the Tiara joke. > I had just found it cute. My sense of humour may be > strange I don't know? > But I thank you for helping me understand. After > last night I was not sure what the point of the > group was anymore and was a afraid to ask questions. > So thanks so much. > Missy > Re: Autism Speaks Video > > > Missy, your questions about your daughter are > welcome. However, this > group does have misunderstandings because 1) there > are a number of > people on spectrum here 2)this is written > communication and 3) NT > people use lots of abstract thoughts and people > with autism don't > comprehend abstract thoughts. When I first joined > the board I didn't > know how to take it, either, but most of us have > come to realize each > other's personality. If you like diversity and a > lot of differing, > colorful personalities, this is the place. > > Kassi and I have argued over the time, but I think > we both love each > other and respect each other dearly, same with > everyone else. Most of > the issues were me understanding her and her > perspective, it's > different from the norm. She has helped me > immensely learn what I need > to do to be a better parent. I don't know if > you've been on other > autism boards, we'll all go through phases of > debate and arguing, then > we all get calm again. > > HTH, > Debi > > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Debi, What other autism boards do you post on and where can I find them? I post on baby center but that is the only other one I know. I am still kind of new to this my daughter was diagnosed just this past November Thanks Missy Re: Autism Speaks Video Missy, your questions about your daughter are welcome. However, this group does have misunderstandings because 1) there are a number of people on spectrum here 2)this is written communication and 3) NT people use lots of abstract thoughts and people with autism don't comprehend abstract thoughts. When I first joined the board I didn't know how to take it, either, but most of us have come to realize each other's personality. If you like diversity and a lot of differing, colorful personalities, this is the place. Kassi and I have argued over the time, but I think we both love each other and respect each other dearly, same with everyone else. Most of the issues were me understanding her and her perspective, it's different from the norm. She has helped me immensely learn what I need to do to be a better parent. I don't know if you've been on other autism boards, we'll all go through phases of debate and arguing, then we all get calm again. HTH, Debi Autism_in_Girls-subscribe ------------------------ Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Ah yes, the weird Al fan. I had forgot about the hours of UHF. What is in the box Kassi? Pennie Abby's Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Oh dear, I'm on so many of them! Let me tell you in advance, there are some very colorful people on these boards, from Marxist socialists to capitalist right-wingers and everything in between, including some who seem to definitely fit multiple DSM-IV criteria, lol. Here are the one's I'm on as links so you can join if you want: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/abmd/ http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/autism-awareness-action/ http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Autism-Mercury/ http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Autism_LDN/ http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/autismaba/ http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/chelatingkids2/ http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/EnzymesandAutism/ http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/GFCFrecipes/ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EOHarm/?yguid=87859383 http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Meta-mito-autism/?yguid=87859383 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OC-Assist-Dogs/?yguid=87859383 http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/RDI_NC/?yguid=87859383 <blushing at my message board obsession being made public> Let me say, I don't normally read from all these sites every day. I've joined them because of specific interest at one time or another, but sometimes I pop in and read/research/post. Also, I'm particularly interested in the biomedical treatments of autism, so that's what many of these are. Have you taken your daughter to a DAN! style practitioner? There are some good treatments out there and the younger the child, the better the outcomes seem to be. HTH, Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Lol, don't even get me started on strange sense of humor. I'm the worst. My hubby is constantly shaking his head at the things i find funny! Debi, who likes " The Office " and reads " Dick and Jane " with a 1-900 operator voice. - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2006 Report Share Posted May 19, 2006 Ok. This made my cats go running off. I guess I have a strange sense of humor too because the THOUGHT made me laugh so hard it startled them. Kassiane, BBC America & Weird Al fan... --- Debi wrote: > Lol, don't even get me started on strange sense of > humor. I'm the > worst. My hubby is constantly shaking his head at > the things i find funny! > > Debi, who likes " The Office " and reads " Dick and > Jane " with a 1-900 > operator voice. > > > - > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2006 Report Share Posted May 19, 2006 In a message dated 5/19/2006 10:18:55 AM Central Daylight Time, liquidc2@... writes: I have also written new words to " If I were a rich man " from fiddler on the Roof to " If I were a Chipmunk. " Ha Ha, now that's a song I'd like to hear! Sandi (Allie's Mom) Houston Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2006 Report Share Posted May 19, 2006 In a message dated 5/19/2006 11:18:44 AM Eastern Daylight Time, liquidc2@... writes: I can sing like Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks. I did the national anthem as a chipmunk Oh my goodness my daughter would LOVE you! Can you come up to Massachusetts and visit? She loves loves loves the " chipmunk " voices and dissolved in joy and laughter once when she found that pressing record, play, and rewind all at the same time on her recorder made the sound into " chipmunk " . Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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