Re: Accepting my AS

[Guest guest]

Must put in my opinion here & it's bound to open a can of worms here

probably! As a female AC, I certainly was told things weren't

" ladylike " to mind what I say, to not look sloppy leaving home, you name

it!! I am a HS grad with trade school education & have had numerous

jobs which paid above minimum. I have been on dates, only to be

disappointed for one reason or another. I do wonder if this is as good

as it gets for me & is it really worth the trouble in the long run???

Please read this & e mail me your alls opinions on this, OK?? It is

something all too commonplace in todays work world which makes me puke.

;' > (*

http//:www.s-t.com/daily/07-96/07-26-96/c05ad067.htm

http://community.webtv.net/tikigalharkins/LETSTALKASPERGERS

[Guest guest]

This message from tikigalharkins@... arched across the cosmos:

>As a female AC, I certainly was told things weren't

> " ladylike " to mind what I say, to not look sloppy leaving home, you name

>it!!

Same here... In fact, I still get comments about " being a lady " even though

I'm well into adulthood! My response has always been " yuck, I don't want

to be a lady! " :-)

> I am a HS grad with trade school education & have had numerous

>jobs which paid above minimum. I have been on dates, only to be

>disappointed for one reason or another. I do wonder if this is as good

>as it gets for me & is it really worth the trouble in the long run???

Do you mean as good as it gets work-wise or as good as it gets

relationship-wise? I'd say things can get better either way, but it does

take a lot of effort... I mean, if you want different jobs, there's always

the option of community college training and/or transferring to a

university, because funding is offered to help cover expenses. If you want

a better relationship, as I've said before, IMHO going with other autistics

beats going with NTs by a long shot -- I was miserable with an NT

boyfriend, I am very happy having an AC one -- but that's just my

experience, other people can disagree.

>Please read this & e mail me your alls opinions on this, OK?? It is

>something all too commonplace in todays work world which makes me puke.

>;' > (*

>http://www.s-t.com/daily/07-96/07-26-96/c05ad067.htm

I didn't like the attitude of most of the people writing in to that! Their

assumption is that they are somehow more " worthy " as human beings because

they have worked -- that they shouldn't be looked down upon for being on

SS* simply based on the fact that they weren't born disabled. The one

person that mentions that SS recipients are bound to only the nasty jobs is

somewhat right, though in that case he/she is painting everybody on SS as

having a low IQ, and suggesting that there's no way for us to improve our

lot *at all* which isn't the case -- it's not easy, but it is possible.

DeGraf ~*~ http://www.sonic.net/mustang/moggy

" Happiness is something you have to go out and get.

It won't come to you, not in *this* world. "

-- Wynne

[Guest guest]

I'm not sure what you're asking, so I'll try to address the thing you said

about being disappointed on dates.

On a relationship yahoogroup, an autistic women lamented that she was very

attracted to a boyfriend because he did what he was trained to do - he

mirrored her posture and gestures, matched her language and tonality, and

basically pretended to be more like her than he actually was. This lead to

all sorts of disappointment, because he was NT and couldn't keep up the act,

or tolerate her high degree of unusualness in the long run.

It's better to present the better sides of your true self. It's

particularly true in my case, because many women have told me how

*comfortable* they feel around me, including declarations of love on the

first date. (Not to toot my own horn - many other women have told me how

*freaked out* they get around me). There are reasons to fill other people's

fantasies, but there are also reasons to show who you really are, especially

when a long-term relationship is your goal.

I should point out that I'm *not* giving the useless advice of " be

yourself. " That just means to do what you're comfortable doing. To get

different results, we have to do something different, and that means we have

to EXIT our comfort zone. What I *am* saying is that acting " proper " isn't

always the best thing to do.

[Guest guest]

Too late, I convey upon thee the title of Knight Autistic, and thou shalt

from this day forward be known as LADY DeGraf, Defender of the Realm,

Drinker of the Heavy Cream, and Guardian of Cats.

And by what power may I grant knighthood?

Why, I am the Duke of Earl!

Re: RE:Re: Accepting my AS

> This message from tikigalharkins@... arched across the cosmos:

> >As a female AC, I certainly was told things weren't

> > " ladylike " to mind what I say, to not look sloppy leaving home, you name

> >it!!

>

> Same here... In fact, I still get comments about " being a lady " even

though

> I'm well into adulthood! My response has always been " yuck, I don't want

> to be a lady! " :-)

[Guest guest]

tikigal wrote:

> Please read this & e mail me your alls opinions on this,

> OK?? It is something all too commonplace in todays work

> world which makes me puke.

> http//:www.s-t.com/daily/07-96/07-26-96/c05ad067.htm

??? This URL didn't work, so I rearranged the semi-colon

to read:

http://www.s-t.com/daily/07-96/07-26-96/c05ad067.htm

What I got then was an Ann Landers column about disability

benefits. Was that the thing you meant?

Clay

[Guest guest]

This message from Kaiden Fox arched across the cosmos:

> " How are you at backgammon? " he inquired perseveratively. Kaiden then

>launched into a complex and meandering discussion, meaninful only to

>himself, about the combination of strategy and luck, memorized " best moves "

>and intuition, that is like life itself.

I admit I haven't tried it before... I don't even know if anybody around me

has a clue how to play it! My guess from your description -- memorized

moves and strategy -- is that I'd be absolutely horrible at it. I'd have

to download a shareware copy to know for sure, though.

>The amazed onlookers scratched their head as Kaiden worked himself into an

>ecstatic frenzy over such a silly game.

Oh, they've seen stranger. I'm the one that goes into perseverative rants

about cat litter. *grin*

DeGraf ~*~ blog http://sonic.net/mustang/moggy

" If the abnormal goes on long enough it becomes the normal. "

-- Terry Pratchett

[Guest guest]

> Oh, they've seen stranger. I'm the one that goes into perseverative rants

> about cat litter. *grin*

Seeing as I have cats, I'd be glad to hear them.

If you want, register with the MSN gaming zone (http://zone.msn.com), add

RapidOblivion to your ZoneFriends list, and I can go over some of the basics

of Backgammon while you teach me about the different advantages and

disadvantage of cat litters around the world.

Kaiden " Clumping, unscented " Fox

[Guest guest]

That's it. I wanted your opinions on the Dr. L from Crescent City, Ca

letter. I agree that what the other letters said about SSI were written

by ignoramuses.

http://community.webtv.net/tikigalharkins/LETSTALKASPERGERS

[Guest guest]

> Kaiden " Clumping, unscented " Fox

That clumping stuff didn't work for Mooncat and me.

He scratched around and unclumped it as soon as he

was finished. And the sandy material was even worse

to get carried around all over my carpet by his too-

furry foot pads than the original Jonny Cat clay litter

(anti-microbial formula).

Clay

[Guest guest]

I didn't like the tone of some of the comments either. It sounded as if

some of them thought that the only people who were OK to get disability

payments were those who worked a long time first, i.e. those who weren't

born with disabilities.

> From: tikigalharkins@...

> Reply-To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse

> Date: Sun, 28 Dec 2003 18:40:48 -0500 (EST)

> To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse

> Cc: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse

> Subject: Re: RE:Re: Accepting my AS

>

> Please read this & e mail me your alls opinions on this, OK?? It is

> something all too commonplace in todays work world which makes me puke.

> ;' > (*

> http://www.s-t.com/daily/07-96/07-26-96/c05ad067.htm

[Guest guest]

> > Kaiden " Clumping, unscented " Fox

>

> That clumping stuff didn't work for Mooncat and me.

> He scratched around and unclumped it as soon as he

> was finished. And the sandy material was even worse

> to get carried around all over my carpet by his too-

> furry foot pads than the original Jonny Cat clay litter

> (anti-microbial formula).

>

> Clay

I want the 'rents to try the clump-clay, but when I ask Ben his

prefs, he just looks at me like I'm a squirrel, as usual, and then

sinks his teeth into my knuckles (since Jerry died as a kit of

respiratory virus, Ben's got " issues " ).

That recycled paper pseudo-litter is for pseudo-kitties. If your

cat's sh_t doesn't stink, then you've confused the vet with a

taxidermist. Fluffie's lack of appetite is another " dead " giveaway.

(Okay, I'm getting insensitive, here.) Let's just say I disagree

with Dad's choice of litter, and so will Ben, once he learns that

there's life in other litterboxes.

--DKM

It's not fair to anthropomorphize people.

[Guest guest]

I never understood why that's supposed to cut down on the smell of cat

poop. What's the darned difference " " ? I mean you scoop the clumps of

poops...then you put them in a pail beside your litterbox. Presumably the

pail stinks. Instead. I'm perplexed.

As usual.

Kim

>

> That clumping stuff didn't work for Mooncat and me.

> He scratched around and unclumped it as soon as he

> was finished. And the sandy material was even worse

> to get carried around all over my carpet by his too-

> furry foot pads than the original Jonny Cat clay litter

> (anti-microbial formula).

>

> Clay

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> I never understood why that's supposed to cut down on the smell of

> cat poop. What's the darned difference " " ? I mean you scoop the

> clumps of poops...then you put them in a pail beside your

> litterbox. Presumably the pail stinks. Instead. I'm perplexed.

I get flushable litter, so the cat poop goes down the toilet.

I also don't get clay litter, because my cat has asthma.

[Guest guest]

wrote:

> I never understood why that's supposed to cut down on

> the smell of cat poop. What's the darned difference?

> I mean you scoop the clumps of poops...then you put

> them in a pail beside your litterbox. Presumably the

> pail stinks. Instead. I'm perplexed. As usual.

I see the other responses didn't really answer your

question, so I will. First, clumping litter is supposed

to cut down the smell of cat urine, not the poop. The

idea is that the cat urinates, it forms clumps which are

then disposed of, presumably by flushing, or some other

means to get it out of the house. I don't know why you

would put cat poop in a pail, better to flush it. My

litter box is under the bathroom sink, between the tub

and the toilet. I flush everything, because, living in

a high-rise, my plumbing is un-stop-up-able. (There

must be a better way to say that, but it's late.) ;-)

Clay

> > That clumping stuff didn't work for Mooncat and me.

> > He scratched around and unclumped it as soon as he

> > was finished. And the sandy material was even worse

> > to get carried around all over my carpet by his too-

> > furry foot pads than the original Jonny Cat clay

> > litter (anti-microbial formula).

> >

> > Clay

[Guest guest]

Kaiden Fox wrote:

> I've decided, though, that if I

>ever have to defend myself against a physical attack, that I *will* go into

>violent-autistic-rage mode as far as possible,

>using the meme of " pain = neural energy "

>to turn any blows landed on me into stims.

>

>

It's such an intense stim that I never get to the rage part.

Usually when someone hits me I just smile at them.

Not sure how useful getting into a rage would be anyway, as I seem to be

rather lacking

in defensive instincts.

Ride the Music

AndyTiedye

[Guest guest]

In such cases, I have always thought that I'd pull off a " bogus "

epileptic seizure, heart attack/stroke or some kind of mania. I have

even heard that doing anything gross would scare 'em away as much as

this or any stim.

http://community.webtv.net/tikigalharkins/LETSTALKASPERGERS

[Guest guest]

I vaguely recall we had a discussion here about reactions to attacks...I

always break into a fit of hysterical laughter. I think it is a personality

trait in my family, because even the family NTs do it (as few of them as

there are).

My sister (the NT one) was once attacked outside my apartment in the dark

hallway. I was expecting her, when I heard the evilest cackling laughter

through my door. I rushed to the door and opened it, and there was my sister

in a heap on the floor with her skirt pulled up and her shirt torn halfway

off laughing her ass off. I looked down the hallway and saw two guys in

hasty retreat, and I'm pretty sure they fled way before I opened the door.

It took several minutes for her to stop cackling and get up off of the

floor. Then she kept replaying the look on the two guys' faces in her mind

and she would start in cracking up all over again.

We always laugh when we are sufficiently frightened, which isn't often. I

did have a hell of a time keeping a straight face while I was in A.F. basic

training, though.

Louis

In my house, " normal " is only a setting on the dryer.

From: AndyTiedye

Kaiden Fox wrote:

> I've decided, though, that if I

>ever have to defend myself against a physical attack, that I *will* go into

>violent-autistic-rage mode as far as possible,

>using the meme of " pain = neural energy "

>to turn any blows landed on me into stims.

>

>

It's such an intense stim that I never get to the rage part.

Usually when someone hits me I just smile at them.

Not sure how useful getting into a rage would be anyway, as I seem to be

rather lacking

in defensive instincts.

Ride the Music

AndyTiedye