Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Ilene, When your nada did all this stuff what was your father's position? My father is so far up the Hoover Wind Tunnel he actually thinks this last talking to will make a difference....because the other 186 million times I must have been stuttering or speaking in an obscure Swahili dialect!! Gagaroo! Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Ilene, When your nada did all this stuff what was your father's position? My father is so far up the Hoover Wind Tunnel he actually thinks this last talking to will make a difference....because the other 186 million times I must have been stuttering or speaking in an obscure Swahili dialect!! Gagaroo! Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Here we go again ...! My nada has written almost the same things. " I'd give my very life for you. " Yeah right - gag!!! " We need to talk " . Yep been there heard that. We talk, they deny... I know it hurts, but you're right - there's no use talking. Ilene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Here we go again ...! My nada has written almost the same things. " I'd give my very life for you. " Yeah right - gag!!! " We need to talk " . Yep been there heard that. We talk, they deny... I know it hurts, but you're right - there's no use talking. Ilene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Gads! I think I'm hitched to the wrong end of the donkey! Mother never said such things like, " I'd give my very life for you " or " We need to talk. " It was the other way around. I'd want to talk things out, and mother would hang up. Best wishes, Carol ilene@... wrote: > Here we go again ...! My nada has written almost > the same things. " I'd give my very life for you. " > Yeah right - gag!!! " We need to talk " . Yep been > there heard that. We talk, they deny... I know it > hurts, but you're right - there's no use talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Gads! I think I'm hitched to the wrong end of the donkey! Mother never said such things like, " I'd give my very life for you " or " We need to talk. " It was the other way around. I'd want to talk things out, and mother would hang up. Best wishes, Carol ilene@... wrote: > Here we go again ...! My nada has written almost > the same things. " I'd give my very life for you. " > Yeah right - gag!!! " We need to talk " . Yep been > there heard that. We talk, they deny... I know it > hurts, but you're right - there's no use talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 --- ilene@... wrote: > > > Here we go again ...! My nada has written almost > the same things. " I'd give my > very life for you. " Yeah right - gag!!! > " We need to talk " . Yep been there heard that. We > talk, they deny... > I know it hurts, but you're right - there's no use > talking. > My nada speaks in past tense... " I gave my life for you. " Only she uses the word sacrificed - and she really believes it - it's said w/so much conviction. Cyndie > Ilene > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 --- ilene@... wrote: > > > Here we go again ...! My nada has written almost > the same things. " I'd give my > very life for you. " Yeah right - gag!!! > " We need to talk " . Yep been there heard that. We > talk, they deny... > I know it hurts, but you're right - there's no use > talking. > My nada speaks in past tense... " I gave my life for you. " Only she uses the word sacrificed - and she really believes it - it's said w/so much conviction. Cyndie > Ilene > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 --- ilene@... wrote: > > > Here we go again ...! My nada has written almost > the same things. " I'd give my > very life for you. " Yeah right - gag!!! > " We need to talk " . Yep been there heard that. We > talk, they deny... > I know it hurts, but you're right - there's no use > talking. > My nada speaks in past tense... " I gave my life for you. " Only she uses the word sacrificed - and she really believes it - it's said w/so much conviction. Cyndie > Ilene > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 I was just thinking the same thing! I said ONE time that she was out of my life and I have NEVER heard from her again. No calls, no letters, no therapy, nada (ha ha). Guess I should count my blessings on that one. She sure had me convinced that I could never get away from her. --- Carol M wrote: > Gads! I think I'm hitched to the wrong end of the > donkey! > > Mother never said such things like, " I'd give my > very life for > you " or " We need to talk. " It was the other way > around. > I'd want to talk things out, and mother would hang > up. > > Best wishes, > Carol > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Well, , I guess we ought to hitch our donkeys together. Like you, when it was over, it was over. Except................. 1 1/2 years later she did try to contaminate my husband with her distortion campaign, but he told her to get lost. She's never been heard from since, although a distant cousin keeps me updated. Yes, it is a blessing not to have our BPD mothers in our lives anymore, but............. only AFTER I got over the estrangement, which wasn't easy. Now I'm back to living life to the fullest. Best wishes, Carol Cheeto Weeto wrote: > I was just thinking the same thing! I said ONE time > that she was out of my life and I have NEVER heard > from her again. No calls, no letters, no therapy, > nada (ha ha). Guess I should count my blessings on > that one. She sure had me convinced that I could > never get away from her. > > > > --- Carol M wrote: > > Gads! I think I'm hitched to the wrong end of the donkey! > > > > Mother never said such things like, " I'd give my > > very life for you " or " We need to talk. " It was the other way > > around. I'd want to talk things out, and mother would hang > > up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Well, , I guess we ought to hitch our donkeys together. Like you, when it was over, it was over. Except................. 1 1/2 years later she did try to contaminate my husband with her distortion campaign, but he told her to get lost. She's never been heard from since, although a distant cousin keeps me updated. Yes, it is a blessing not to have our BPD mothers in our lives anymore, but............. only AFTER I got over the estrangement, which wasn't easy. Now I'm back to living life to the fullest. Best wishes, Carol Cheeto Weeto wrote: > I was just thinking the same thing! I said ONE time > that she was out of my life and I have NEVER heard > from her again. No calls, no letters, no therapy, > nada (ha ha). Guess I should count my blessings on > that one. She sure had me convinced that I could > never get away from her. > > > > --- Carol M wrote: > > Gads! I think I'm hitched to the wrong end of the donkey! > > > > Mother never said such things like, " I'd give my > > very life for you " or " We need to talk. " It was the other way > > around. I'd want to talk things out, and mother would hang > > up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 My dad is the same way. He's convinced we can all " talk things out " and everyone will be happy. I think it's part of his denial -- he believes that if we just try hard enough everything will be okay. If he admits that his wife is seriously mentally ill, and nothing he or I do will make a difference, then he might have to question his marriage. It's far safer for him to blame the dysfunction on us not trying hard enough than to admit his wife is screwed up beyond all repair. My 2 cents. Anon --- sweepea1215@... wrote: > Ilene, > > When your nada did all this stuff what was your father's > position? My father > is so far up the Hoover Wind Tunnel he actually thinks this > last talking to > will make a difference....because the other 186 million times > I must have > been stuttering or speaking in an obscure Swahili dialect!! > Gagaroo! > > Debbie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 My dad is the same way. He's convinced we can all " talk things out " and everyone will be happy. I think it's part of his denial -- he believes that if we just try hard enough everything will be okay. If he admits that his wife is seriously mentally ill, and nothing he or I do will make a difference, then he might have to question his marriage. It's far safer for him to blame the dysfunction on us not trying hard enough than to admit his wife is screwed up beyond all repair. My 2 cents. Anon --- sweepea1215@... wrote: > Ilene, > > When your nada did all this stuff what was your father's > position? My father > is so far up the Hoover Wind Tunnel he actually thinks this > last talking to > will make a difference....because the other 186 million times > I must have > been stuttering or speaking in an obscure Swahili dialect!! > Gagaroo! > > Debbie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2001 Report Share Posted December 12, 2001 Carol: My mother called me after 1 1/2 yrs of silence. was happy and acted like nothing was wrong. She said over and over how everyone made sure she wasn't left alone. They got her and got her hair done and etc. hint hint. It seems that she wants to come over and blow the others off like always. Her games she plays. I feel she blew me off for the last 1 1/2 year for the last time. My siblings don't know I'm alive and also my mother unless there is a plan. I'm for the first time not jumping to her rescue. The barrier is up and I can't break down again. Thank you guys for your support and letters. I know I'm not alone anymore. K Re: Hoover Debbie Well, , I guess we ought to hitch our donkeys together. Like you, when it was over, it was over. Except................. 1 1/2 years later she did try to contaminate my husband with her distortion campaign, but he told her to get lost. She's never been heard from since, although a distant cousin keeps me updated. Yes, it is a blessing not to have our BPD mothers in our lives anymore, but............. only AFTER I got over the estrangement, which wasn't easy. Now I'm back to living life to the fullest. Best wishes, Carol Cheeto Weeto wrote: > I was just thinking the same thing! I said ONE time > that she was out of my life and I have NEVER heard > from her again. No calls, no letters, no therapy, > nada (ha ha). Guess I should count my blessings on > that one. She sure had me convinced that I could > never get away from her. > > > > --- Carol M wrote: > > Gads! I think I'm hitched to the wrong end of the donkey! > > > > Mother never said such things like, " I'd give my > > very life for you " or " We need to talk. " It was the other way > > around. I'd want to talk things out, and mother would hang > > up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 You are not alone at the wrong end of the donkey, Carol! Same here. My mother has wiped me out of her life. I would want to talk about things, she does not want to. And I cannot stand seeing her as long as things have not been talked about. It gives me too much the feeling she gets away with it. Glad I am not alone there. Hildegard > > Here we go again ...! My nada has written almost > > the same things. " I'd give my very life for you. " > > Yeah right - gag!!! " We need to talk " . Yep been > > there heard that. We talk, they deny... I know it > > hurts, but you're right - there's no use talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 You are not alone at the wrong end of the donkey, Carol! Same here. My mother has wiped me out of her life. I would want to talk about things, she does not want to. And I cannot stand seeing her as long as things have not been talked about. It gives me too much the feeling she gets away with it. Glad I am not alone there. Hildegard > > Here we go again ...! My nada has written almost > > the same things. " I'd give my very life for you. " > > Yeah right - gag!!! " We need to talk " . Yep been > > there heard that. We talk, they deny... I know it > > hurts, but you're right - there's no use talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 You are not alone at the wrong end of the donkey, Carol! Same here. My mother has wiped me out of her life. I would want to talk about things, she does not want to. And I cannot stand seeing her as long as things have not been talked about. It gives me too much the feeling she gets away with it. Glad I am not alone there. Hildegard > > Here we go again ...! My nada has written almost > > the same things. " I'd give my very life for you. " > > Yeah right - gag!!! " We need to talk " . Yep been > > there heard that. We talk, they deny... I know it > > hurts, but you're right - there's no use talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 I had the nerves to stand up against her and it has never been forgiven. I am now wiped out of her existence. I find this so painful and unfair. It's like I have an eternal emptiness in my heart because of this. I have no kids but I can't understand how a mother can be like that. She does not even give a sign of life on my birthday. I am her oldest child... how can someone ignore this. I know how loyal I was to her as a kid. But she hurt me so much that I had to stay away from her in the end, out of self protection. This pain will never really heal. Hildegard > > Gads! I think I'm hitched to the wrong end of the > > donkey! > > > > Mother never said such things like, " I'd give my > > very life for > > you " or " We need to talk. " It was the other way > > around. > > I'd want to talk things out, and mother would hang > > up. > > > > Best wishes, > > Carol > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 I had the nerves to stand up against her and it has never been forgiven. I am now wiped out of her existence. I find this so painful and unfair. It's like I have an eternal emptiness in my heart because of this. I have no kids but I can't understand how a mother can be like that. She does not even give a sign of life on my birthday. I am her oldest child... how can someone ignore this. I know how loyal I was to her as a kid. But she hurt me so much that I had to stay away from her in the end, out of self protection. This pain will never really heal. Hildegard > > Gads! I think I'm hitched to the wrong end of the > > donkey! > > > > Mother never said such things like, " I'd give my > > very life for > > you " or " We need to talk. " It was the other way > > around. > > I'd want to talk things out, and mother would hang > > up. > > > > Best wishes, > > Carol > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 I had the nerves to stand up against her and it has never been forgiven. I am now wiped out of her existence. I find this so painful and unfair. It's like I have an eternal emptiness in my heart because of this. I have no kids but I can't understand how a mother can be like that. She does not even give a sign of life on my birthday. I am her oldest child... how can someone ignore this. I know how loyal I was to her as a kid. But she hurt me so much that I had to stay away from her in the end, out of self protection. This pain will never really heal. Hildegard > > Gads! I think I'm hitched to the wrong end of the > > donkey! > > > > Mother never said such things like, " I'd give my > > very life for > > you " or " We need to talk. " It was the other way > > around. > > I'd want to talk things out, and mother would hang > > up. > > > > Best wishes, > > Carol > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 See my comments inserted below............ hildegard6 wrote: > > I had the nerves to stand up against her and it has never been > forgiven. I am now wiped out of her existence. Yup! Been there, done it too. That was the one unpardonable sin when dealing with mother. > I find this so painful and unfair. It's like I have an > eternal emptiness in my heart because of this. Yes! It's the worst hurt of all, because it comes from the very woman who gave us life. It permeates the deepest regions of our body, heart, mind and soul. I know exactly how you feel. > I have no kids but I can't understand how a mother can be like > that. Me either. I have two wonderful happy healthy successful adult children, and the last thing I could do to them is the stuff mother did to me. > She does not even give a sign of life on my birthday. Neither did my mother the last few years before the estrangement. > I am her oldest child... how can someone ignore this. Me too. I'm the oldest of two, and the sun always rose and set on me. Mother always had me high up on a pedestal that my brother could never reach. I could do no wrong, and he could do no right. It was always that way, until I got brazen and started to stand up to her in small ways. > I know how loyal I was to her as a kid. Loyalty! Over fifty years of loyalty, in my case! And what did it get me? A boot in the arse! > But she hurt me so much that I had to stay away from her in the end, out of self protection. Ditto! In the latter years, when she began to falsely accuse me of fraud and forgery, that's when I headed out of Dodge, for self-protection > This pain will never really heal. Yes, it will, Hildegard. I used to think that too. Don't despair. There's light at the end of the tunnel. There is life, happiness, and wholeness after mother. Best wishes, Carol > > > > Gads! I think I'm hitched to the wrong end of the > > > donkey! > > > > > > Mother never said such things like, " I'd give my > > > very life for > > > you " or " We need to talk. " It was the other way > > > around. > > > I'd want to talk things out, and mother would hang > > > up. > > > > > > Best wishes, > > > Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 HI Hildegard....and happy birthday to all of us KO's who are dissed by nadas. It means that we are cracking out of the jail and are being punished for it. It bothered me that nada tried to go around me by sending sweetie pie email to my kids. That is the weak link in my family boundary system. When I feel those feelings of being disrespected coming at me, I tell myself, " It's her loss, I am such a great daughter! As my dying father told me, another day of life was another day to hear my voice and he was so lucky to have had such a wonderful daughter. " I tell myself that often. My husband validated me too. As do my kids. BUt that does not mean that " the voices " don't come and whisper in my ears. I think you've come a tremendous way Hildegard....lets all stick together and keep walking out of the tunnel. Kathleen > I had the nerves to stand up against her and it has never been > forgiven. I am now wiped out of her existence. I find this so painful > and unfair. It's like I have an eternal emptiness in my heart because > of this. > I have no kids but I can't understand how a mother can be like that. > She does not even give a sign of life on my birthday. I am her oldest > child... how can someone ignore this. > I know how loyal I was to her as a kid. But she hurt me so much that > I had to stay away from her in the end, out of self protection. > This pain will never really heal. > > Hildegard > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 HI Hildegard....and happy birthday to all of us KO's who are dissed by nadas. It means that we are cracking out of the jail and are being punished for it. It bothered me that nada tried to go around me by sending sweetie pie email to my kids. That is the weak link in my family boundary system. When I feel those feelings of being disrespected coming at me, I tell myself, " It's her loss, I am such a great daughter! As my dying father told me, another day of life was another day to hear my voice and he was so lucky to have had such a wonderful daughter. " I tell myself that often. My husband validated me too. As do my kids. BUt that does not mean that " the voices " don't come and whisper in my ears. I think you've come a tremendous way Hildegard....lets all stick together and keep walking out of the tunnel. Kathleen > I had the nerves to stand up against her and it has never been > forgiven. I am now wiped out of her existence. I find this so painful > and unfair. It's like I have an eternal emptiness in my heart because > of this. > I have no kids but I can't understand how a mother can be like that. > She does not even give a sign of life on my birthday. I am her oldest > child... how can someone ignore this. > I know how loyal I was to her as a kid. But she hurt me so much that > I had to stay away from her in the end, out of self protection. > This pain will never really heal. > > Hildegard > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 HI Hildegard....and happy birthday to all of us KO's who are dissed by nadas. It means that we are cracking out of the jail and are being punished for it. It bothered me that nada tried to go around me by sending sweetie pie email to my kids. That is the weak link in my family boundary system. When I feel those feelings of being disrespected coming at me, I tell myself, " It's her loss, I am such a great daughter! As my dying father told me, another day of life was another day to hear my voice and he was so lucky to have had such a wonderful daughter. " I tell myself that often. My husband validated me too. As do my kids. BUt that does not mean that " the voices " don't come and whisper in my ears. I think you've come a tremendous way Hildegard....lets all stick together and keep walking out of the tunnel. Kathleen > I had the nerves to stand up against her and it has never been > forgiven. I am now wiped out of her existence. I find this so painful > and unfair. It's like I have an eternal emptiness in my heart because > of this. > I have no kids but I can't understand how a mother can be like that. > She does not even give a sign of life on my birthday. I am her oldest > child... how can someone ignore this. > I know how loyal I was to her as a kid. But she hurt me so much that > I had to stay away from her in the end, out of self protection. > This pain will never really heal. > > Hildegard > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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