Guest guest Posted December 18, 2001 Report Share Posted December 18, 2001 Carol M wrote: > Maybe those of us who have " forgiven " our mothers, might like to > share how they did it, and what they experienced. Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your mother? Once I understood BPD and how my mom became who she was, I felt like there was essentially nothing to forgive. But somehow, I thought that I would be free of the pain and the unhealthy relationship dynamics once I was able to understand. That hasn't happened. It happens for small periods of time, but then somehow, I get caught up in her drama again. I guess I am still vulnerable to abuse, even though I might understand where it comes from. Then again, maybe I need to reframe her behavior. Maybe it's not abuse, it's something else. It comes from a terribly frightened, enraged place inside of her. Maybe if I can keep that at a conscious level, I will be able to dodge the effects and still maintain a relationship. My husband is great. He listens to me go around in circles for just so long, and then I usually say, " Why does she do this? " And he looks at me with one eyebrow raised and says to me, " Why DOES she do this? " This is my cue to say, " Because she's crazy. " I hope no one is offended by the word crazy, but it is hubby's way of reminding me that I am trying to make sense out of crazy behavior, and that is what is driving ME crazy. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2001 Report Share Posted December 18, 2001 Carol M wrote: > Maybe those of us who have " forgiven " our mothers, might like to > share how they did it, and what they experienced. Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your mother? Once I understood BPD and how my mom became who she was, I felt like there was essentially nothing to forgive. But somehow, I thought that I would be free of the pain and the unhealthy relationship dynamics once I was able to understand. That hasn't happened. It happens for small periods of time, but then somehow, I get caught up in her drama again. I guess I am still vulnerable to abuse, even though I might understand where it comes from. Then again, maybe I need to reframe her behavior. Maybe it's not abuse, it's something else. It comes from a terribly frightened, enraged place inside of her. Maybe if I can keep that at a conscious level, I will be able to dodge the effects and still maintain a relationship. My husband is great. He listens to me go around in circles for just so long, and then I usually say, " Why does she do this? " And he looks at me with one eyebrow raised and says to me, " Why DOES she do this? " This is my cue to say, " Because she's crazy. " I hope no one is offended by the word crazy, but it is hubby's way of reminding me that I am trying to make sense out of crazy behavior, and that is what is driving ME crazy. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2001 Report Share Posted December 18, 2001 Carol M wrote: > Maybe those of us who have " forgiven " our mothers, might like to > share how they did it, and what they experienced. Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your mother? Once I understood BPD and how my mom became who she was, I felt like there was essentially nothing to forgive. But somehow, I thought that I would be free of the pain and the unhealthy relationship dynamics once I was able to understand. That hasn't happened. It happens for small periods of time, but then somehow, I get caught up in her drama again. I guess I am still vulnerable to abuse, even though I might understand where it comes from. Then again, maybe I need to reframe her behavior. Maybe it's not abuse, it's something else. It comes from a terribly frightened, enraged place inside of her. Maybe if I can keep that at a conscious level, I will be able to dodge the effects and still maintain a relationship. My husband is great. He listens to me go around in circles for just so long, and then I usually say, " Why does she do this? " And he looks at me with one eyebrow raised and says to me, " Why DOES she do this? " This is my cue to say, " Because she's crazy. " I hope no one is offended by the word crazy, but it is hubby's way of reminding me that I am trying to make sense out of crazy behavior, and that is what is driving ME crazy. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2001 Report Share Posted December 18, 2001 Carol, Hi all, I've been a long-time member of this list and I get such support everyday a= s I read the daily posts. Thank you all for being brave and trusting! I don't post much because I'm shy and a little insecure about my writing. Q= uick summary for everyone – I learned about BPD about 18 months ago and I have been distant from my parents for about a year. It was (and still is) a roug= h road, but in Feb of this year, I started to have a more balanced and anxiety free= life. It's not a perfect path and the holiday does add complications. (FOG anyone= ?) Needless to say, now I'm " evil daughter " . The similarities with list member= s is very scary. I'll recount my forgiveness path and I hope it helps. I think it's harder f= or KO's to forgive themselves than their parents. ; ) For a long time I wasn't angry. I had no feelings because I only had my nad= a's feelings. Then, I had my own feelings. I did not like them. Out of these, t= he anger grew. I did not know how to handle anger. The first thing I had to f= orgive was myself. I was a " bad " child, and I had to forgive that child. Then I had to forgive the things that the anger wanted to cling to. I mourn= ed the loss of this anger, because it was the first thing that was my own. I felt = empty – which was new since now I had a place for something to grow. This is where = the forgiveness grew and it grew first for myself. I realized that I was my own enemy and without forgiving myself, I could no= t forgive others.Then I forgave myself for loving a nada that hurt me. It's o= k since KO's greatest ability is to love unconditionally. Then I forgave BPD, becau= se I realized it wasn't my nada, but the loss of my mother that I needed to forg= ive. Mourning the death of the living is the hardest thing to accept. And it's just everyday, being just a little kinder and forgiving of everyon= e in general. Each little step adds a little more peace, and each day is another= day that is my own. peace, V Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2001 Report Share Posted December 18, 2001 Carol, Hi all, I've been a long-time member of this list and I get such support everyday a= s I read the daily posts. Thank you all for being brave and trusting! I don't post much because I'm shy and a little insecure about my writing. Q= uick summary for everyone – I learned about BPD about 18 months ago and I have been distant from my parents for about a year. It was (and still is) a roug= h road, but in Feb of this year, I started to have a more balanced and anxiety free= life. It's not a perfect path and the holiday does add complications. (FOG anyone= ?) Needless to say, now I'm " evil daughter " . The similarities with list member= s is very scary. I'll recount my forgiveness path and I hope it helps. I think it's harder f= or KO's to forgive themselves than their parents. ; ) For a long time I wasn't angry. I had no feelings because I only had my nad= a's feelings. Then, I had my own feelings. I did not like them. Out of these, t= he anger grew. I did not know how to handle anger. The first thing I had to f= orgive was myself. I was a " bad " child, and I had to forgive that child. Then I had to forgive the things that the anger wanted to cling to. I mourn= ed the loss of this anger, because it was the first thing that was my own. I felt = empty – which was new since now I had a place for something to grow. This is where = the forgiveness grew and it grew first for myself. I realized that I was my own enemy and without forgiving myself, I could no= t forgive others.Then I forgave myself for loving a nada that hurt me. It's o= k since KO's greatest ability is to love unconditionally. Then I forgave BPD, becau= se I realized it wasn't my nada, but the loss of my mother that I needed to forg= ive. Mourning the death of the living is the hardest thing to accept. And it's just everyday, being just a little kinder and forgiving of everyon= e in general. Each little step adds a little more peace, and each day is another= day that is my own. peace, V Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2001 Report Share Posted December 18, 2001 like I said to me forgiveness has to do with letting go and moving on. now mind you that this project took several months. I decided to let go and I set a date as " freedom day " . then I got tons of paper, cut into little strips. On each piece of paper I wrote down something negative my parents had said, and a few other people. Each statement was then surounded with quotation marks and I would sign it, mom or dad or whoever. I was giving ownership of that statement back to the person. For example- " you're to fat " , mom. " you never finish school " , etc, etc, etc. After about a month of doing that it got really depressing so I added a step. cut up more paper and started writing down postive affirmations. " I did graduate " , " I look fine " , etc. so for each negative statement I tried to write a positive one and put them in a gift box to read when I was down. Then on the designated day I went to the balloon store and got a bunch of balloons, ( had to go twice, the first dozen started sinking). Anyway I tied each negative statement to the balloons, after reading each one outloud. then I went to a special place on a hill, read a poem that I wrote about letting go. and then I let go of all that negativity and watch the balloons float away, (very simbolically towards heaven) until I couldn't see them anymore. I went home, I had prepared a special mean and had bought and wrapped a few presents. So I had a celebration for letting go. It was very healing. ** , Stinky's caretaker** Froehliche Weihnachten, Merry Christmas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2001 Report Share Posted December 18, 2001 like I said to me forgiveness has to do with letting go and moving on. now mind you that this project took several months. I decided to let go and I set a date as " freedom day " . then I got tons of paper, cut into little strips. On each piece of paper I wrote down something negative my parents had said, and a few other people. Each statement was then surounded with quotation marks and I would sign it, mom or dad or whoever. I was giving ownership of that statement back to the person. For example- " you're to fat " , mom. " you never finish school " , etc, etc, etc. After about a month of doing that it got really depressing so I added a step. cut up more paper and started writing down postive affirmations. " I did graduate " , " I look fine " , etc. so for each negative statement I tried to write a positive one and put them in a gift box to read when I was down. Then on the designated day I went to the balloon store and got a bunch of balloons, ( had to go twice, the first dozen started sinking). Anyway I tied each negative statement to the balloons, after reading each one outloud. then I went to a special place on a hill, read a poem that I wrote about letting go. and then I let go of all that negativity and watch the balloons float away, (very simbolically towards heaven) until I couldn't see them anymore. I went home, I had prepared a special mean and had bought and wrapped a few presents. So I had a celebration for letting go. It was very healing. ** , Stinky's caretaker** Froehliche Weihnachten, Merry Christmas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2001 Report Share Posted December 18, 2001 V- Thank you for your post. I think your explanation of the forgiveness process was beautiful. Take Care, Rosemary > Carol, > Hi all, > > I've been a long-time member of this list and I get such support everyday a= > s I > read the daily posts. Thank you all for being brave and trusting! > > I don't post much because I'm shy and a little insecure about my writing. Q= > uick > summary for everyone – I learned about BPD about 18 months ago and I have > been distant from my parents for about a year. It was (and still is) a roug= > h road, > but in Feb of this year, I started to have a more balanced and anxiety free= > life. > It's not a perfect path and the holiday does add complications. (FOG anyone= > ?) > Needless to say, now I'm " evil daughter " . The similarities with list member= > s is > very scary. > > I'll recount my forgiveness path and I hope it helps. I think it's harder f= > or KO's to > forgive themselves than their parents. ; ) > > For a long time I wasn't angry. I had no feelings because I only had my nad= > a's > feelings. Then, I had my own feelings. I did not like them. Out of these, t= > he > anger grew. I did not know how to handle anger. The first thing I had to f= > orgive > was myself. I was a " bad " child, and I had to forgive that child. > > Then I had to forgive the things that the anger wanted to cling to. I mourn= > ed the > loss of this anger, because it was the first thing that was my own. I felt = > empty – > which was new since now I had a place for something to grow. This is where = > > the forgiveness grew and it grew first for myself. > > I realized that I was my own enemy and without forgiving myself, I could no= > t > forgive others.Then I forgave myself for loving a nada that hurt me. It's o= > k since > KO's greatest ability is to love unconditionally. Then I forgave BPD, becau= > se I > realized it wasn't my nada, but the loss of my mother that I needed to forg= > ive. > Mourning the death of the living is the hardest thing to accept. > > And it's just everyday, being just a little kinder and forgiving of everyon= > e in > general. Each little step adds a little more peace, and each day is another= > day > that is my own. > > peace, > V Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2001 Report Share Posted December 18, 2001 V- Thank you for your post. I think your explanation of the forgiveness process was beautiful. Take Care, Rosemary > Carol, > Hi all, > > I've been a long-time member of this list and I get such support everyday a= > s I > read the daily posts. Thank you all for being brave and trusting! > > I don't post much because I'm shy and a little insecure about my writing. Q= > uick > summary for everyone – I learned about BPD about 18 months ago and I have > been distant from my parents for about a year. It was (and still is) a roug= > h road, > but in Feb of this year, I started to have a more balanced and anxiety free= > life. > It's not a perfect path and the holiday does add complications. (FOG anyone= > ?) > Needless to say, now I'm " evil daughter " . The similarities with list member= > s is > very scary. > > I'll recount my forgiveness path and I hope it helps. I think it's harder f= > or KO's to > forgive themselves than their parents. ; ) > > For a long time I wasn't angry. I had no feelings because I only had my nad= > a's > feelings. Then, I had my own feelings. I did not like them. Out of these, t= > he > anger grew. I did not know how to handle anger. The first thing I had to f= > orgive > was myself. I was a " bad " child, and I had to forgive that child. > > Then I had to forgive the things that the anger wanted to cling to. I mourn= > ed the > loss of this anger, because it was the first thing that was my own. I felt = > empty – > which was new since now I had a place for something to grow. This is where = > > the forgiveness grew and it grew first for myself. > > I realized that I was my own enemy and without forgiving myself, I could no= > t > forgive others.Then I forgave myself for loving a nada that hurt me. It's o= > k since > KO's greatest ability is to love unconditionally. Then I forgave BPD, becau= > se I > realized it wasn't my nada, but the loss of my mother that I needed to forg= > ive. > Mourning the death of the living is the hardest thing to accept. > > And it's just everyday, being just a little kinder and forgiving of everyon= > e in > general. Each little step adds a little more peace, and each day is another= > day > that is my own. > > peace, > V Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2001 Report Share Posted December 18, 2001 V- Thank you for your post. I think your explanation of the forgiveness process was beautiful. Take Care, Rosemary > Carol, > Hi all, > > I've been a long-time member of this list and I get such support everyday a= > s I > read the daily posts. Thank you all for being brave and trusting! > > I don't post much because I'm shy and a little insecure about my writing. Q= > uick > summary for everyone – I learned about BPD about 18 months ago and I have > been distant from my parents for about a year. It was (and still is) a roug= > h road, > but in Feb of this year, I started to have a more balanced and anxiety free= > life. > It's not a perfect path and the holiday does add complications. (FOG anyone= > ?) > Needless to say, now I'm " evil daughter " . The similarities with list member= > s is > very scary. > > I'll recount my forgiveness path and I hope it helps. I think it's harder f= > or KO's to > forgive themselves than their parents. ; ) > > For a long time I wasn't angry. I had no feelings because I only had my nad= > a's > feelings. Then, I had my own feelings. I did not like them. Out of these, t= > he > anger grew. I did not know how to handle anger. The first thing I had to f= > orgive > was myself. I was a " bad " child, and I had to forgive that child. > > Then I had to forgive the things that the anger wanted to cling to. I mourn= > ed the > loss of this anger, because it was the first thing that was my own. I felt = > empty – > which was new since now I had a place for something to grow. This is where = > > the forgiveness grew and it grew first for myself. > > I realized that I was my own enemy and without forgiving myself, I could no= > t > forgive others.Then I forgave myself for loving a nada that hurt me. It's o= > k since > KO's greatest ability is to love unconditionally. Then I forgave BPD, becau= > se I > realized it wasn't my nada, but the loss of my mother that I needed to forg= > ive. > Mourning the death of the living is the hardest thing to accept. > > And it's just everyday, being just a little kinder and forgiving of everyon= > e in > general. Each little step adds a little more peace, and each day is another= > day > that is my own. > > peace, > V Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2001 Report Share Posted December 18, 2001 with forgiveness. I am far from it with nada. I can understand forgiveness, because I've forgiven 2 people for major things. One was my father and he asked for forgiveness before he died. The other was my first husband who committed suicide. With my father is was more straightforward. I had a laundry list --he knew what it was, and he was very sorry. So in a way there was instant healing and it all flew away. Over this summer I have realized I had buried anger with him over the heavy load he put on me (he and nada) to be their emotional support when things were bad when I was a kid. Anyway...I named what it was and felt it and was able to feel the anger towards my father and it would sort of lift off and go away and I would feel better. I can truly say I miss him very much. With first husband, it was more a system of being young, having hope, and lots of friends who were there for me. I had a year of crying and lots of wet shoulders ...but the gift of that year was friendship. I came to a place of understanding about suicide and I realized that there was nothing I could do about it. Imagine being a kid with a nada and dealing with suicide. I blamed myself for months until I realized I was not in control of his life. Then I fell in love again, and I just let the old life go and stepped into the new. With nada......she is still ticking and meddling and being BPD. I can imagine forgiving her as long as I didn't have to go be around her anymore. My FOO is so enmeshed, they are so blind to the reality of what the effect of a lifetime of nada is, that I cannot see being part of the family in the way it was. Just tonight I was watching the email come in and thought I saw the name of my cousin who lives near and socialized with the FOO. She is a Codependents Anon. member and she sort of pushes forgiveness prematurely. Just the idea of seeing her name made my heart start racing. So much for thinking I can handle communication from the FOO. I can't force anything. I think I am emotionally numb bec. of the lifetime of picking and pecking that nada has done to me and her rigid, rigid heartless attitude. For instance, I heard from my late sister's husband that nada has contacted my nephews once since my sister died. Yet nada has this huge mythology of what a loving grandmother she is. She plays favorites terribly and my sister's boys don't register on her grandchild screen. So....forgiveness is something I hope to achieve one day, but I cannot leapfrog over my own wellness process to " help " them, bec. that would be a version of the old game. I have to pay attention to me. Kathleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this issue so much I could puke on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " . Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this issue so much I could puke on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " . Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 Hi Kathy, and everyone on this thread.......... It's been a lengthy process, much like exercising. I started doing a little meditation twice a day, before getting up in the morning and going to bed at night. I'd make sure no one could see or hear me, then quietly sit on my bed and visualize mother in my mind's eye, and say to myself, " I forgive you for everything you've done, and I wish you health, happiness and well-being. " I thought it would be easy enough to do, but there was only one problem. I literally could not say those words. Instead, I'd break down and cry. I didn't give up, though, nor did I berate myself. I kept at it every day, and after a week, I was finally able to say them, but it unleashed Niagara Falls! As the days rolled by, I cried less often, and sometimes I wouldn't cry at all. I couldn't predict it. As time passed, the crying occurred less frequently, until now, over a year later, I rarely cry anymore. Yes, I've been at this every day for over a year now. But, the very first week I began to notice a slight sense of peace as I went about my day, but I thought it was just my imagination. But, as it gradually became more and more noticeable, I realized it was real. It's difficult to explain, but because I'm a product of a BPD mother, she was always right, which inferred the converse, that I was always wrong. To forgive someone implies that they're wrong, and since mother was never wrong, how could I forgive her for being right? When I started to forgive her, it forced me to accept the wrongness of her actions. By repeating those words, day in and day out, they finally sank into my consciousness. I think I had difficulty saying them the first week, because they were a lie, according to my beliefs at that time. In retrospect, I spent my entire life rationalizing the rightness of mother's actions. When she started to nose dive horribly the past ten years, and I was knocked off my pedestal in the process, I drove myself insane trying to figure out what I'd done wrong, what I could do to fix things, and how I could hang on to the poison. The process of daily forgiveness forced me to accept what I wouldn't otherwise, that mother had been wrong all this time. For us non-BPDs, accepting the rightness of our own actions is a very foreign concept, and one which shackles us to the cycle of abuse that our BPD parent(s) so offhandedly wield. The process of forgiveness, when down within the private confines of one's own consciousness, has nothing to do with reconciliation and manipulation. It's merely a process that changes our belief box. Best wishes, Carol Kathy at jordhka@... wrote: > Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your > mother? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 Hi Kathy, and everyone on this thread.......... It's been a lengthy process, much like exercising. I started doing a little meditation twice a day, before getting up in the morning and going to bed at night. I'd make sure no one could see or hear me, then quietly sit on my bed and visualize mother in my mind's eye, and say to myself, " I forgive you for everything you've done, and I wish you health, happiness and well-being. " I thought it would be easy enough to do, but there was only one problem. I literally could not say those words. Instead, I'd break down and cry. I didn't give up, though, nor did I berate myself. I kept at it every day, and after a week, I was finally able to say them, but it unleashed Niagara Falls! As the days rolled by, I cried less often, and sometimes I wouldn't cry at all. I couldn't predict it. As time passed, the crying occurred less frequently, until now, over a year later, I rarely cry anymore. Yes, I've been at this every day for over a year now. But, the very first week I began to notice a slight sense of peace as I went about my day, but I thought it was just my imagination. But, as it gradually became more and more noticeable, I realized it was real. It's difficult to explain, but because I'm a product of a BPD mother, she was always right, which inferred the converse, that I was always wrong. To forgive someone implies that they're wrong, and since mother was never wrong, how could I forgive her for being right? When I started to forgive her, it forced me to accept the wrongness of her actions. By repeating those words, day in and day out, they finally sank into my consciousness. I think I had difficulty saying them the first week, because they were a lie, according to my beliefs at that time. In retrospect, I spent my entire life rationalizing the rightness of mother's actions. When she started to nose dive horribly the past ten years, and I was knocked off my pedestal in the process, I drove myself insane trying to figure out what I'd done wrong, what I could do to fix things, and how I could hang on to the poison. The process of daily forgiveness forced me to accept what I wouldn't otherwise, that mother had been wrong all this time. For us non-BPDs, accepting the rightness of our own actions is a very foreign concept, and one which shackles us to the cycle of abuse that our BPD parent(s) so offhandedly wield. The process of forgiveness, when down within the private confines of one's own consciousness, has nothing to do with reconciliation and manipulation. It's merely a process that changes our belief box. Best wishes, Carol Kathy at jordhka@... wrote: > Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your > mother? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 Hi Kathy, and everyone on this thread.......... It's been a lengthy process, much like exercising. I started doing a little meditation twice a day, before getting up in the morning and going to bed at night. I'd make sure no one could see or hear me, then quietly sit on my bed and visualize mother in my mind's eye, and say to myself, " I forgive you for everything you've done, and I wish you health, happiness and well-being. " I thought it would be easy enough to do, but there was only one problem. I literally could not say those words. Instead, I'd break down and cry. I didn't give up, though, nor did I berate myself. I kept at it every day, and after a week, I was finally able to say them, but it unleashed Niagara Falls! As the days rolled by, I cried less often, and sometimes I wouldn't cry at all. I couldn't predict it. As time passed, the crying occurred less frequently, until now, over a year later, I rarely cry anymore. Yes, I've been at this every day for over a year now. But, the very first week I began to notice a slight sense of peace as I went about my day, but I thought it was just my imagination. But, as it gradually became more and more noticeable, I realized it was real. It's difficult to explain, but because I'm a product of a BPD mother, she was always right, which inferred the converse, that I was always wrong. To forgive someone implies that they're wrong, and since mother was never wrong, how could I forgive her for being right? When I started to forgive her, it forced me to accept the wrongness of her actions. By repeating those words, day in and day out, they finally sank into my consciousness. I think I had difficulty saying them the first week, because they were a lie, according to my beliefs at that time. In retrospect, I spent my entire life rationalizing the rightness of mother's actions. When she started to nose dive horribly the past ten years, and I was knocked off my pedestal in the process, I drove myself insane trying to figure out what I'd done wrong, what I could do to fix things, and how I could hang on to the poison. The process of daily forgiveness forced me to accept what I wouldn't otherwise, that mother had been wrong all this time. For us non-BPDs, accepting the rightness of our own actions is a very foreign concept, and one which shackles us to the cycle of abuse that our BPD parent(s) so offhandedly wield. The process of forgiveness, when down within the private confines of one's own consciousness, has nothing to do with reconciliation and manipulation. It's merely a process that changes our belief box. Best wishes, Carol Kathy at jordhka@... wrote: > Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your > mother? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 Cyndy, I am off to visit my Aunties (sisters of Megatron) and smack them all silly!!! Heh-heh-heh. Thanks for the giggle! Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 Cyndy, I am off to visit my Aunties (sisters of Megatron) and smack them all silly!!! Heh-heh-heh. Thanks for the giggle! Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 Cyndy, I am off to visit my Aunties (sisters of Megatron) and smack them all silly!!! Heh-heh-heh. Thanks for the giggle! Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 Smack them upside the head and then insist that they forgive you. Cyndy sweepea1215@... wrote: Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this issue so much I could puke on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " . Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 Smack them upside the head and then insist that they forgive you. Cyndy sweepea1215@... wrote: Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this issue so much I could puke on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " . Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 Smack them upside the head and then insist that they forgive you. Cyndy sweepea1215@... wrote: Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this issue so much I could puke on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " . Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm laughing my ass off! I think I can forgive anyone who apologizes in a sincere way. But how can I forgive my mother if she tells me that " I deserved it " and does not think she did anything wrong? The big challenge is not so much forgiveness but coming to terms with the feelings of anger and bitterness. Trying to heal myself, setting my boundaries and finding people who are good to me, that is what matters to me. Hildegard Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this issue so much I could puke > on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " . > > Debbie > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm laughing my ass off! I think I can forgive anyone who apologizes in a sincere way. But how can I forgive my mother if she tells me that " I deserved it " and does not think she did anything wrong? The big challenge is not so much forgiveness but coming to terms with the feelings of anger and bitterness. Trying to heal myself, setting my boundaries and finding people who are good to me, that is what matters to me. Hildegard Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this issue so much I could puke > on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " . > > Debbie > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm laughing my ass off! I think I can forgive anyone who apologizes in a sincere way. But how can I forgive my mother if she tells me that " I deserved it " and does not think she did anything wrong? The big challenge is not so much forgiveness but coming to terms with the feelings of anger and bitterness. Trying to heal myself, setting my boundaries and finding people who are good to me, that is what matters to me. Hildegard Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this issue so much I could puke > on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " . > > Debbie > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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