Re: Forgiveness How To

[Guest guest]

Carol M wrote:

> Maybe those of us who have " forgiven " our mothers, might like to

> share how they did it, and what they experienced.

Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your

mother?

Once I understood BPD and how my mom became who she was, I felt like

there was essentially nothing to forgive. But somehow, I thought that I

would be free of the pain and the unhealthy relationship dynamics once I

was able to understand. That hasn't happened. It happens for small

periods of time, but then somehow, I get caught up in her drama again. I

guess I am still vulnerable to abuse, even though I might understand

where it comes from. Then again, maybe I need to reframe her behavior.

Maybe it's not abuse, it's something else. It comes from a terribly

frightened, enraged place inside of her. Maybe if I can keep that at a

conscious level, I will be able to dodge the effects and still maintain

a relationship.

My husband is great. He listens to me go around in circles for just so

long, and then I usually say, " Why does she do this? " And he looks at me

with one eyebrow raised and says to me, " Why DOES she do this? " This is

my cue to say, " Because she's crazy. " I hope no one is offended by the

word crazy, but it is hubby's way of reminding me that I am trying to

make sense out of crazy behavior, and that is what is driving ME crazy.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

Carol M wrote:

> Maybe those of us who have " forgiven " our mothers, might like to

> share how they did it, and what they experienced.

Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your

mother?

Once I understood BPD and how my mom became who she was, I felt like

there was essentially nothing to forgive. But somehow, I thought that I

would be free of the pain and the unhealthy relationship dynamics once I

was able to understand. That hasn't happened. It happens for small

periods of time, but then somehow, I get caught up in her drama again. I

guess I am still vulnerable to abuse, even though I might understand

where it comes from. Then again, maybe I need to reframe her behavior.

Maybe it's not abuse, it's something else. It comes from a terribly

frightened, enraged place inside of her. Maybe if I can keep that at a

conscious level, I will be able to dodge the effects and still maintain

a relationship.

My husband is great. He listens to me go around in circles for just so

long, and then I usually say, " Why does she do this? " And he looks at me

with one eyebrow raised and says to me, " Why DOES she do this? " This is

my cue to say, " Because she's crazy. " I hope no one is offended by the

word crazy, but it is hubby's way of reminding me that I am trying to

make sense out of crazy behavior, and that is what is driving ME crazy.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

Carol M wrote:

> Maybe those of us who have " forgiven " our mothers, might like to

> share how they did it, and what they experienced.

Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your

mother?

Once I understood BPD and how my mom became who she was, I felt like

there was essentially nothing to forgive. But somehow, I thought that I

would be free of the pain and the unhealthy relationship dynamics once I

was able to understand. That hasn't happened. It happens for small

periods of time, but then somehow, I get caught up in her drama again. I

guess I am still vulnerable to abuse, even though I might understand

where it comes from. Then again, maybe I need to reframe her behavior.

Maybe it's not abuse, it's something else. It comes from a terribly

frightened, enraged place inside of her. Maybe if I can keep that at a

conscious level, I will be able to dodge the effects and still maintain

a relationship.

My husband is great. He listens to me go around in circles for just so

long, and then I usually say, " Why does she do this? " And he looks at me

with one eyebrow raised and says to me, " Why DOES she do this? " This is

my cue to say, " Because she's crazy. " I hope no one is offended by the

word crazy, but it is hubby's way of reminding me that I am trying to

make sense out of crazy behavior, and that is what is driving ME crazy.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

Carol,

Hi all,

I've been a long-time member of this list and I get such support everyday a=

s I

read the daily posts. Thank you all for being brave and trusting!

I don't post much because I'm shy and a little insecure about my writing. Q=

uick

summary for everyone – I learned about BPD about 18 months ago and I have

been distant from my parents for about a year. It was (and still is) a roug=

h road,

but in Feb of this year, I started to have a more balanced and anxiety free=

life.

It's not a perfect path and the holiday does add complications. (FOG anyone=

?)

Needless to say, now I'm " evil daughter " . The similarities with list member=

s is

very scary.

I'll recount my forgiveness path and I hope it helps. I think it's harder f=

or KO's to

forgive themselves than their parents. ; )

For a long time I wasn't angry. I had no feelings because I only had my nad=

a's

feelings. Then, I had my own feelings. I did not like them. Out of these, t=

he

anger grew. I did not know how to handle anger. The first thing I had to f=

orgive

was myself. I was a " bad " child, and I had to forgive that child.

Then I had to forgive the things that the anger wanted to cling to. I mourn=

ed the

loss of this anger, because it was the first thing that was my own. I felt =

empty –

which was new since now I had a place for something to grow. This is where =

the forgiveness grew and it grew first for myself.

I realized that I was my own enemy and without forgiving myself, I could no=

t

forgive others.Then I forgave myself for loving a nada that hurt me. It's o=

k since

KO's greatest ability is to love unconditionally. Then I forgave BPD, becau=

se I

realized it wasn't my nada, but the loss of my mother that I needed to forg=

ive.

Mourning the death of the living is the hardest thing to accept.

And it's just everyday, being just a little kinder and forgiving of everyon=

e in

general. Each little step adds a little more peace, and each day is another=

day

that is my own.

peace,

V

[Guest guest]

Carol,

Hi all,

I've been a long-time member of this list and I get such support everyday a=

s I

read the daily posts. Thank you all for being brave and trusting!

I don't post much because I'm shy and a little insecure about my writing. Q=

uick

summary for everyone – I learned about BPD about 18 months ago and I have

been distant from my parents for about a year. It was (and still is) a roug=

h road,

but in Feb of this year, I started to have a more balanced and anxiety free=

life.

It's not a perfect path and the holiday does add complications. (FOG anyone=

?)

Needless to say, now I'm " evil daughter " . The similarities with list member=

s is

very scary.

I'll recount my forgiveness path and I hope it helps. I think it's harder f=

or KO's to

forgive themselves than their parents. ; )

For a long time I wasn't angry. I had no feelings because I only had my nad=

a's

feelings. Then, I had my own feelings. I did not like them. Out of these, t=

he

anger grew. I did not know how to handle anger. The first thing I had to f=

orgive

was myself. I was a " bad " child, and I had to forgive that child.

Then I had to forgive the things that the anger wanted to cling to. I mourn=

ed the

loss of this anger, because it was the first thing that was my own. I felt =

empty –

which was new since now I had a place for something to grow. This is where =

the forgiveness grew and it grew first for myself.

I realized that I was my own enemy and without forgiving myself, I could no=

t

forgive others.Then I forgave myself for loving a nada that hurt me. It's o=

k since

KO's greatest ability is to love unconditionally. Then I forgave BPD, becau=

se I

realized it wasn't my nada, but the loss of my mother that I needed to forg=

ive.

Mourning the death of the living is the hardest thing to accept.

And it's just everyday, being just a little kinder and forgiving of everyon=

e in

general. Each little step adds a little more peace, and each day is another=

day

that is my own.

peace,

V

[Guest guest]

like I said to me forgiveness has to do with letting go and moving on.

now mind you that this project took several months.

I decided to let go and I set a date as " freedom day " . then I got tons

of paper, cut into little strips. On each piece of paper I wrote down

something negative my parents had said, and a few other people. Each

statement was then surounded with quotation marks and I would sign it,

mom or dad or whoever. I was giving ownership of that statement back to

the person. For example- " you're to fat " , mom. " you never finish

school " , etc, etc, etc.

After about a month of doing that it got really depressing so I added a

step. cut up more paper and started writing down postive affirmations. "

I did graduate " , " I look fine " , etc. so for each negative statement I

tried to write a positive one and put them in a gift box to read when I

was down.

Then on the designated day I went to the balloon store and got a bunch

of balloons, ( had to go twice, the first dozen started sinking). Anyway

I tied each negative statement to the balloons, after reading each one

outloud. then I went to a special place on a hill, read a poem that I

wrote about letting go. and then I let go of all that negativity and

watch the balloons float away, (very simbolically towards heaven) until

I couldn't see them anymore.

I went home, I had prepared a special mean and had bought and wrapped a

few presents. So I had a celebration for letting go.

It was very healing.

** , Stinky's caretaker**

Froehliche Weihnachten,

Merry Christmas

[Guest guest]

like I said to me forgiveness has to do with letting go and moving on.

now mind you that this project took several months.

I decided to let go and I set a date as " freedom day " . then I got tons

of paper, cut into little strips. On each piece of paper I wrote down

something negative my parents had said, and a few other people. Each

statement was then surounded with quotation marks and I would sign it,

mom or dad or whoever. I was giving ownership of that statement back to

the person. For example- " you're to fat " , mom. " you never finish

school " , etc, etc, etc.

After about a month of doing that it got really depressing so I added a

step. cut up more paper and started writing down postive affirmations. "

I did graduate " , " I look fine " , etc. so for each negative statement I

tried to write a positive one and put them in a gift box to read when I

was down.

Then on the designated day I went to the balloon store and got a bunch

of balloons, ( had to go twice, the first dozen started sinking). Anyway

I tied each negative statement to the balloons, after reading each one

outloud. then I went to a special place on a hill, read a poem that I

wrote about letting go. and then I let go of all that negativity and

watch the balloons float away, (very simbolically towards heaven) until

I couldn't see them anymore.

I went home, I had prepared a special mean and had bought and wrapped a

few presents. So I had a celebration for letting go.

It was very healing.

** , Stinky's caretaker**

Froehliche Weihnachten,

Merry Christmas

[Guest guest]

V-

Thank you for your post. I think your explanation of the forgiveness

process was beautiful.

Take Care,

Rosemary

> Carol,

> Hi all,

>

> I've been a long-time member of this list and I get such support

everyday a=

> s I

> read the daily posts. Thank you all for being brave and trusting!

>

> I don't post much because I'm shy and a little insecure about my

writing. Q=

> uick

> summary for everyone – I learned about BPD about 18 months ago and

I have

> been distant from my parents for about a year. It was (and still

is) a roug=

> h road,

> but in Feb of this year, I started to have a more balanced and

anxiety free=

> life.

> It's not a perfect path and the holiday does add complications.

(FOG anyone=

> ?)

> Needless to say, now I'm " evil daughter " . The similarities with

list member=

> s is

> very scary.

>

> I'll recount my forgiveness path and I hope it helps. I think it's

harder f=

> or KO's to

> forgive themselves than their parents. ; )

>

> For a long time I wasn't angry. I had no feelings because I only

had my nad=

> a's

> feelings. Then, I had my own feelings. I did not like them. Out of

these, t=

> he

> anger grew. I did not know how to handle anger. The first thing I

had to f=

> orgive

> was myself. I was a " bad " child, and I had to forgive that child.

>

> Then I had to forgive the things that the anger wanted to cling to.

I mourn=

> ed the

> loss of this anger, because it was the first thing that was my own.

I felt =

> empty –

> which was new since now I had a place for something to grow. This

is where =

>

> the forgiveness grew and it grew first for myself.

>

> I realized that I was my own enemy and without forgiving myself, I

could no=

> t

> forgive others.Then I forgave myself for loving a nada that hurt

me. It's o=

> k since

> KO's greatest ability is to love unconditionally. Then I forgave

BPD, becau=

> se I

> realized it wasn't my nada, but the loss of my mother that I needed

to forg=

> ive.

> Mourning the death of the living is the hardest thing to accept.

>

> And it's just everyday, being just a little kinder and forgiving of

everyon=

> e in

> general. Each little step adds a little more peace, and each day is

another=

> day

> that is my own.

>

> peace,

> V

[Guest guest]

V-

Thank you for your post. I think your explanation of the forgiveness

process was beautiful.

Take Care,

Rosemary

> Carol,

> Hi all,

>

> I've been a long-time member of this list and I get such support

everyday a=

> s I

> read the daily posts. Thank you all for being brave and trusting!

>

> I don't post much because I'm shy and a little insecure about my

writing. Q=

> uick

> summary for everyone – I learned about BPD about 18 months ago and

I have

> been distant from my parents for about a year. It was (and still

is) a roug=

> h road,

> but in Feb of this year, I started to have a more balanced and

anxiety free=

> life.

> It's not a perfect path and the holiday does add complications.

(FOG anyone=

> ?)

> Needless to say, now I'm " evil daughter " . The similarities with

list member=

> s is

> very scary.

>

> I'll recount my forgiveness path and I hope it helps. I think it's

harder f=

> or KO's to

> forgive themselves than their parents. ; )

>

> For a long time I wasn't angry. I had no feelings because I only

had my nad=

> a's

> feelings. Then, I had my own feelings. I did not like them. Out of

these, t=

> he

> anger grew. I did not know how to handle anger. The first thing I

had to f=

> orgive

> was myself. I was a " bad " child, and I had to forgive that child.

>

> Then I had to forgive the things that the anger wanted to cling to.

I mourn=

> ed the

> loss of this anger, because it was the first thing that was my own.

I felt =

> empty –

> which was new since now I had a place for something to grow. This

is where =

>

> the forgiveness grew and it grew first for myself.

>

> I realized that I was my own enemy and without forgiving myself, I

could no=

> t

> forgive others.Then I forgave myself for loving a nada that hurt

me. It's o=

> k since

> KO's greatest ability is to love unconditionally. Then I forgave

BPD, becau=

> se I

> realized it wasn't my nada, but the loss of my mother that I needed

to forg=

> ive.

> Mourning the death of the living is the hardest thing to accept.

>

> And it's just everyday, being just a little kinder and forgiving of

everyon=

> e in

> general. Each little step adds a little more peace, and each day is

another=

> day

> that is my own.

>

> peace,

> V

[Guest guest]

V-

Thank you for your post. I think your explanation of the forgiveness

process was beautiful.

Take Care,

Rosemary

> Carol,

> Hi all,

>

> I've been a long-time member of this list and I get such support

everyday a=

> s I

> read the daily posts. Thank you all for being brave and trusting!

>

> I don't post much because I'm shy and a little insecure about my

writing. Q=

> uick

> summary for everyone – I learned about BPD about 18 months ago and

I have

> been distant from my parents for about a year. It was (and still

is) a roug=

> h road,

> but in Feb of this year, I started to have a more balanced and

anxiety free=

> life.

> It's not a perfect path and the holiday does add complications.

(FOG anyone=

> ?)

> Needless to say, now I'm " evil daughter " . The similarities with

list member=

> s is

> very scary.

>

> I'll recount my forgiveness path and I hope it helps. I think it's

harder f=

> or KO's to

> forgive themselves than their parents. ; )

>

> For a long time I wasn't angry. I had no feelings because I only

had my nad=

> a's

> feelings. Then, I had my own feelings. I did not like them. Out of

these, t=

> he

> anger grew. I did not know how to handle anger. The first thing I

had to f=

> orgive

> was myself. I was a " bad " child, and I had to forgive that child.

>

> Then I had to forgive the things that the anger wanted to cling to.

I mourn=

> ed the

> loss of this anger, because it was the first thing that was my own.

I felt =

> empty –

> which was new since now I had a place for something to grow. This

is where =

>

> the forgiveness grew and it grew first for myself.

>

> I realized that I was my own enemy and without forgiving myself, I

could no=

> t

> forgive others.Then I forgave myself for loving a nada that hurt

me. It's o=

> k since

> KO's greatest ability is to love unconditionally. Then I forgave

BPD, becau=

> se I

> realized it wasn't my nada, but the loss of my mother that I needed

to forg=

> ive.

> Mourning the death of the living is the hardest thing to accept.

>

> And it's just everyday, being just a little kinder and forgiving of

everyon=

> e in

> general. Each little step adds a little more peace, and each day is

another=

> day

> that is my own.

>

> peace,

> V

[Guest guest]

with forgiveness. I am far from it with nada. I can understand

forgiveness, because I've forgiven 2 people for major things. One

was my father and he asked for forgiveness before he died. The

other was my first husband who committed suicide. With my

father is was more straightforward. I had a laundry list --he knew

what it was, and he was very sorry. So in a way there was instant

healing and it all flew away. Over this summer I have realized I

had buried anger with him over the heavy load he put on me (he

and nada) to be their emotional support when things were bad

when I was a kid. Anyway...I named what it was and felt it and

was able to feel the anger towards my father and it would sort of

lift off and go away and I would feel better. I can truly say I miss

him very much.

With first husband, it was more a system of being young, having

hope, and lots of friends who were there for me. I had a year of

crying and lots of wet shoulders ...but the gift of that year was

friendship. I came to a place of understanding about suicide and

I realized that there was nothing I could do about it. Imagine

being a kid with a nada and dealing with suicide. I blamed

myself for months until I realized I was not in control of his life.

Then I fell in love again, and I just let the old life go and stepped

into the new.

With nada......she is still ticking and meddling and being BPD. I

can imagine forgiving her as long as I didn't have to go be

around her anymore. My FOO is so enmeshed, they are so blind

to the reality of what the effect of a lifetime of nada is, that I

cannot see being part of the family in the way it was.

Just tonight I was watching the email come in and thought I saw

the name of my cousin who lives near and socialized with the

FOO. She is a Codependents Anon. member and she sort of

pushes forgiveness prematurely. Just the idea of seeing her

name made my heart start racing. So much for thinking I can

handle communication from the FOO.

I can't force anything. I think I am emotionally numb bec. of the

lifetime of picking and pecking that nada has done to me and her

rigid, rigid heartless attitude.

For instance, I heard from my late sister's husband that nada

has contacted my nephews once since my sister died. Yet nada

has this huge mythology of what a loving grandmother she is.

She plays favorites terribly and my sister's boys don't register on

her grandchild screen.

So....forgiveness is something I hope to achieve one day, but I

cannot leapfrog over my own wellness process to " help " them,

bec. that would be a version of the old game. I have to pay

attention to me.

Kathleen

[Guest guest]

Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this issue so much I could puke

on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " .

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this issue so much I could puke

on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " .

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy, and everyone on this thread..........

It's been a lengthy process, much like exercising.

I started doing a little meditation twice a day, before getting up in

the morning and going to bed at night. I'd make sure no one could see

or hear me, then quietly sit on my bed and visualize mother in my mind's

eye, and say to myself, " I forgive you for everything you've done, and I

wish you health, happiness and well-being. " I thought it would be easy

enough to do, but there was only one problem. I literally could not say

those words. Instead, I'd break down and cry. I didn't give up,

though, nor did I berate myself. I kept at it every day, and after a

week, I was finally able to say them, but it unleashed Niagara Falls!

As the days rolled by, I cried less often, and sometimes I wouldn't cry

at all. I couldn't predict it. As time passed, the crying occurred

less frequently, until now, over a year later, I rarely cry anymore.

Yes, I've been at this every day for over a year now. But, the very

first week I began to notice a slight sense of peace as I went about my

day, but I thought it was just my imagination. But, as it gradually

became more and more noticeable, I realized it was real.

It's difficult to explain, but because I'm a product of a BPD mother,

she was always right, which inferred the converse, that I was always

wrong. To forgive someone implies that they're wrong, and since mother

was never wrong, how could I forgive her for being right? When I

started to forgive her, it forced me to accept the wrongness of her

actions. By repeating those words, day in and day out, they finally

sank into my consciousness. I think I had difficulty saying them the

first week, because they were a lie, according to my beliefs at that

time.

In retrospect, I spent my entire life rationalizing the rightness of

mother's actions. When she started to nose dive horribly the past ten

years, and I was knocked off my pedestal in the process, I drove myself

insane trying to figure out what I'd done wrong, what I could do to fix

things, and how I could hang on to the poison. The process of daily

forgiveness forced me to accept what I wouldn't otherwise, that mother

had been wrong all this time. For us non-BPDs, accepting the rightness

of our own actions is a very foreign concept, and one which shackles us

to the cycle of abuse that our BPD parent(s) so offhandedly

wield.

The process of forgiveness, when down within the private confines of

one's own consciousness, has nothing to do with reconciliation and

manipulation. It's merely a process that changes our belief box.

Best wishes,

Carol

Kathy at jordhka@... wrote:

> Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your

> mother?

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy, and everyone on this thread..........

It's been a lengthy process, much like exercising.

I started doing a little meditation twice a day, before getting up in

the morning and going to bed at night. I'd make sure no one could see

or hear me, then quietly sit on my bed and visualize mother in my mind's

eye, and say to myself, " I forgive you for everything you've done, and I

wish you health, happiness and well-being. " I thought it would be easy

enough to do, but there was only one problem. I literally could not say

those words. Instead, I'd break down and cry. I didn't give up,

though, nor did I berate myself. I kept at it every day, and after a

week, I was finally able to say them, but it unleashed Niagara Falls!

As the days rolled by, I cried less often, and sometimes I wouldn't cry

at all. I couldn't predict it. As time passed, the crying occurred

less frequently, until now, over a year later, I rarely cry anymore.

Yes, I've been at this every day for over a year now. But, the very

first week I began to notice a slight sense of peace as I went about my

day, but I thought it was just my imagination. But, as it gradually

became more and more noticeable, I realized it was real.

It's difficult to explain, but because I'm a product of a BPD mother,

she was always right, which inferred the converse, that I was always

wrong. To forgive someone implies that they're wrong, and since mother

was never wrong, how could I forgive her for being right? When I

started to forgive her, it forced me to accept the wrongness of her

actions. By repeating those words, day in and day out, they finally

sank into my consciousness. I think I had difficulty saying them the

first week, because they were a lie, according to my beliefs at that

time.

In retrospect, I spent my entire life rationalizing the rightness of

mother's actions. When she started to nose dive horribly the past ten

years, and I was knocked off my pedestal in the process, I drove myself

insane trying to figure out what I'd done wrong, what I could do to fix

things, and how I could hang on to the poison. The process of daily

forgiveness forced me to accept what I wouldn't otherwise, that mother

had been wrong all this time. For us non-BPDs, accepting the rightness

of our own actions is a very foreign concept, and one which shackles us

to the cycle of abuse that our BPD parent(s) so offhandedly

wield.

The process of forgiveness, when down within the private confines of

one's own consciousness, has nothing to do with reconciliation and

manipulation. It's merely a process that changes our belief box.

Best wishes,

Carol

Kathy at jordhka@... wrote:

> Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your

> mother?

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy, and everyone on this thread..........

It's been a lengthy process, much like exercising.

I started doing a little meditation twice a day, before getting up in

the morning and going to bed at night. I'd make sure no one could see

or hear me, then quietly sit on my bed and visualize mother in my mind's

eye, and say to myself, " I forgive you for everything you've done, and I

wish you health, happiness and well-being. " I thought it would be easy

enough to do, but there was only one problem. I literally could not say

those words. Instead, I'd break down and cry. I didn't give up,

though, nor did I berate myself. I kept at it every day, and after a

week, I was finally able to say them, but it unleashed Niagara Falls!

As the days rolled by, I cried less often, and sometimes I wouldn't cry

at all. I couldn't predict it. As time passed, the crying occurred

less frequently, until now, over a year later, I rarely cry anymore.

Yes, I've been at this every day for over a year now. But, the very

first week I began to notice a slight sense of peace as I went about my

day, but I thought it was just my imagination. But, as it gradually

became more and more noticeable, I realized it was real.

It's difficult to explain, but because I'm a product of a BPD mother,

she was always right, which inferred the converse, that I was always

wrong. To forgive someone implies that they're wrong, and since mother

was never wrong, how could I forgive her for being right? When I

started to forgive her, it forced me to accept the wrongness of her

actions. By repeating those words, day in and day out, they finally

sank into my consciousness. I think I had difficulty saying them the

first week, because they were a lie, according to my beliefs at that

time.

In retrospect, I spent my entire life rationalizing the rightness of

mother's actions. When she started to nose dive horribly the past ten

years, and I was knocked off my pedestal in the process, I drove myself

insane trying to figure out what I'd done wrong, what I could do to fix

things, and how I could hang on to the poison. The process of daily

forgiveness forced me to accept what I wouldn't otherwise, that mother

had been wrong all this time. For us non-BPDs, accepting the rightness

of our own actions is a very foreign concept, and one which shackles us

to the cycle of abuse that our BPD parent(s) so offhandedly

wield.

The process of forgiveness, when down within the private confines of

one's own consciousness, has nothing to do with reconciliation and

manipulation. It's merely a process that changes our belief box.

Best wishes,

Carol

Kathy at jordhka@... wrote:

> Carol, can you talk more about what it means to you to forgive your

> mother?

[Guest guest]

Cyndy,

I am off to visit my Aunties (sisters of Megatron) and smack them all

silly!!! Heh-heh-heh.

Thanks for the giggle!

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Cyndy,

I am off to visit my Aunties (sisters of Megatron) and smack them all

silly!!! Heh-heh-heh.

Thanks for the giggle!

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Cyndy,

I am off to visit my Aunties (sisters of Megatron) and smack them all

silly!!! Heh-heh-heh.

Thanks for the giggle!

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Smack them upside the head and then insist that they forgive you.

Cyndy

sweepea1215@... wrote: Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this

issue so much I could puke

on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " .

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Smack them upside the head and then insist that they forgive you.

Cyndy

sweepea1215@... wrote: Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this

issue so much I could puke

on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " .

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Smack them upside the head and then insist that they forgive you.

Cyndy

sweepea1215@... wrote: Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling with this

issue so much I could puke

on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " .

Debbie

[Guest guest]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm laughing my ass off!

I think I can forgive anyone who apologizes in a sincere way. But how

can I forgive my mother if she tells me that " I deserved it " and does

not think she did anything wrong?

The big challenge is not so much forgiveness but coming to terms with

the feelings of anger and bitterness. Trying to heal myself, setting

my boundaries and finding people who are good to me, that is what

matters to me.

Hildegard

Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling

with this issue so much I could puke

> on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " .

>

> Debbie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm laughing my ass off!

I think I can forgive anyone who apologizes in a sincere way. But how

can I forgive my mother if she tells me that " I deserved it " and does

not think she did anything wrong?

The big challenge is not so much forgiveness but coming to terms with

the feelings of anger and bitterness. Trying to heal myself, setting

my boundaries and finding people who are good to me, that is what

matters to me.

Hildegard

Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling

with this issue so much I could puke

> on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " .

>

> Debbie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm laughing my ass off!

I think I can forgive anyone who apologizes in a sincere way. But how

can I forgive my mother if she tells me that " I deserved it " and does

not think she did anything wrong?

The big challenge is not so much forgiveness but coming to terms with

the feelings of anger and bitterness. Trying to heal myself, setting

my boundaries and finding people who are good to me, that is what

matters to me.

Hildegard

Excellent idea Carol...I am struggling

with this issue so much I could puke

> on the next person who tells me I have to " forgive and forget " .

>

> Debbie

>

>

>