Bullying

April 14, 2007

My son has also been subjected to bullying and ridicule for his

symptoms. It has been very hard for both of us. He is on homebound

instruction for the moment(also in va beach), which is another way

of saying he is homeschooled but the school assigns work and grades

it. I wish we had better options. I do not feel the school has

addressed the bullying at all. They suggest homeschooling often and

try to minimize the problem. It is an impossible situation. The

good news is my son is very outgoing and is still doing well in

extra curricular (non school) social outlets, but he should be able

to participate in school activities!

mm

>

> In a message dated 4/13/2007 11:27:15 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> wallflower67@... writes:

>

> I've talked to the counselor, and they have been good at moving

kids, but

> it's getting to the point where they can't just move everyone!

>

> How much is too much? I've thought about sending her to a

private school

> for learning disabled kids (because she has a serious learning

disability too,

> we have an IEP). But that would mean she would have to give up

violin, and

> she really likes playing in the orchestra.

>

> Laurie

>

> Oh - your poor dd. And bless her heart - violin!!!! Nothing too

easy

> there, eh? My dd took violin in 4th & 5th grade then finally

just gave it up.

> She still enjoyed playing it, but it was just too much practicing

for her - she

> wanted to do other things too.

>

> Many schools have a " zero tolerance " for bullying these days

because of all

> the bad press that has come of it. I would push the issue with

the school.

> Just physically moving kids is NOT the answer. These kids need

to be dealt

> with - they need to be taught that what they're doing is

unacceptable. Their

> parents should also be brought into it. Learning disability or

not, your

> daughter has every right to be in that school & not be harassed

> LT.

>

> ************************************** See what's free at

http://www.aol.com.

>

April 15, 2007

svdbyhislove <BJClosner@...> wrote: <I don't work outside the home.

The heart stuff is so unpredictable

that I can't. I can't imagine they would let you go lay down whenever

you needed to on a job. If I could work, the extra income would sure

help though.>

Oh duh....I knew that! That's another reason I was thinking about home

schooling. It is hard when I " m having my own health problems, to have to help

with homework. Sometimes on the phone with my step- kids now. Now that dh is

in town more, he can help his own kids. Their mom is a " sink or swim " mother.

So she doesn't help them much.

<When we are schooling, Josh schools for about 3-4 hours a day. He is

in 9th grade, so does more than he used to. Most of his friends who

go to public school put in 2-3 hours of homework once they get home.>

Okay...3-4, or even 5 hours a day doesn't sound bad. We would just have to do

extra on some days if I work a lot that week.

<I provide the curriculum, write up the assignments, correct his

schoolwork and take him to activities. If he gets stuck (which is

seldom) we tackle it together. There are answer books and solutions

manuals, so it's not as hard as it would sound.>

Do you use any particular curriculum? Or do you pick from a variety of

things? From what I've heard you can buy whole curriculums, but I'm not sure

I'd want to do that.

<There is a great site that gives you information on homeschool laws

concerning different states. It is hslda.com. >

Thanks for the link!

Laurie

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April 15, 2007

I know I will always support my daughter, even if she turns into a son, I know

she'll be the same person inside. It would just be REALLY hard for me. I'd

have to not let her know that, I think.

My brother is gay, and since he is younger than me, I actually knew what he

was first because he didn't know about the word homosexual. But we always knew

he was different. He is not out to our parents, but he is to my dh and me and

his friends.

My daughter started wanting to be a boy when she was about 7 or 8...the time

her OCD and ADHD kicked in. I wonder if she thought maybe she wouldn't have

those problems if she was a boy? I tried to get it out of her buy never could.

She has never been sexually abused, unless someone out side the home did it.

I've asked, as much as you can ask a kid without scaring them.

She always played with " action figures " rather than dolls. When she was

young, it was her Barney and Disney figures. I gave all her Barbies away. She

had one baby doll that she played with. She is physically active, and likes to

run like the boys, but she isn't really into sports, though. I put her in

soccer and basketball through the Y. But she also took gymnastics and dance.

She likes dance, and wants to ice skate like her friend...until I point out that

she would have to wear stage make up and girly clothes. We quit dance because I

told her I wasn't going another year with her screaming while I was putting make

up on her for the dance recital! (and also I objected to some of the " sexy "

costumes that the older girls were wearing "

She doesn't like having periods, but has adjusted. To her, sex is disgusting,

which is fine by me! But if you talk about someone being gay she just laughs

like any kid that age.

I gues I'll have to wait and see. Right now, school is a real problem for

her, socially. I wonder if gender dysphoria is part of the problem

And yet, occasionally she will say something that is girl-like.

Laurie

mzdaisee47 <mzdaisee@...> wrote:

" She actually wants to be a boy, which is it's own worry. "

Laurie,

I personally know 2 people who have dealt with gender dysphoria. One

had gender reasignment surgery. The other is married and therefore

will not have surgery. Both have believed all their lives that they

were given the wrong body at birth. It was not a decision they made.

Even as small children they felt more like the other gender. If your

daughter just says she wants to be a boy, perhaps this is not true

for her and she is just imagining her life would be easier as a boy.

Has she always wanted to change or this something recent? Also, does

she enjoy boy activities more than girly things? Has she ever been

sexually abused? It could be that she just does not want to deal with

monthly things, etc. My 11 yr old daughter is grossed out by the idea

of periods and still thinks sex is gross (although she fantasizes

about it a lot). She also has to be nagged constantly about

grooming/hygiene and dresses really weird, but not like a boy. She is

just very unique. Well, what I actually started out to say is that

whatever way your daughter goes as an adult, she is still the same

person inside and it is so wonderful that you are open-minded and

will support her no matter what. So many families are intolerant when

their offspring lead non-traditional lifestyles or want non-

traditional things in their life. If wanting to be a boy is part of

the OCD, it will pass. She has enough to deal with. Bless you both.

P.

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April 15, 2007

Wow...that sounds great!. So she can do sports, instruments, clubs, etc.? Do

you think they would have been willing to work with you if they had not been for

the homeschooling themselves?

Laurie

Wood <gladtobegreek@...> wrote:

Hi Laurie,

I live in Michigan and we are with the Livonia School district. It is pretty

large. My daughter missed a total of 68 days between Sept. and Jan. My husband

and I were at a meeting with them to figure out what we wanted to do. We were

ready to tell them that we had decided to homeschool, and believe or not, that

was the first thing out of the pricipal's mouth! He felt, along with everyone

else that it would be her best option. She has no learning disabilites, so he

said there was not much the school could do to help keep her stay there all day.

We had a 504, but she was so behind in school work she could never catch up. Her

anxiety and panic attacks were really bad. They had no problem and consider her

a part-time student. She's allowed to keep her locker, to participate in all

activities, etc. They have been very good. It is almost too hard to believe

sometimes. If I can help you in any other way, please let me know. It has been a

long, hard journey, but I think we

have some peace for now!

God bless,

Becky

wallflower wrote:

Yes, this helps a lot. Do you live in a large school district? Did they work

well with you right off, or did you have to fight with them a bit (or beg them

or whatever)?

Laurie

gladtobegreek wrote:

I'm homeschooling my 13 year old her core classes and she is

going to school for electives (computer, music, yearbook, etc.) The

school is working well with us. I understand what your mom is saying,

but the lasting damage that can be done by bullying is far worse then

any damage that would be done from not socializing. Besides, there

are many homeschooling groups and outside activities that she can be

a part of. My daughter is doing well. Her anxiety has lessened and

she finally seems happy. She actually enjoys going to school now. I

just realized that she couldn't be there all day. She was like a

square peg being forced to fit into a round hole. She's maturing and

she will get there someday, but for now, I feel this will help her to

succeed in the long run. I hope this has helped.

God bless,

Becky

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April 15, 2007