Bullying

December 1, 2001

Thanks for the advice Robin and everyone. I did threaten legal action, his

response was.. " You need to do what you need to do. " This principle feels the

same way about everyone, if your being bullied YOU did something.

Tammy

December 1, 2001

I hate that macho type that blames the victim.

Judy

Re: bullying

Thanks for the advice Robin and everyone. I did threaten legal action, his

response was.. " You need to do what you need to do. " This principle feels

the

same way about everyone, if your being bullied YOU did something.

Tammy

May 27, 2004

Oh my goodness! I'm so glad the worst that ever happened to me was a boy

verbally making fun of me. I was called " ostrich legs " but what do you expect

I hope that girl gets everything she deserves. Summer school shouldn't

happen because it wasn't her fault, they should just let her come back!!! Poor

girl!!!!!!!!

~

>===== Original Message From Marty <martie@...> =====

>I found it outrageous that a disabled child would be treated in this

>manner.

>

>http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/3348196/detail.html

>

>While the administration is admitting to an error in judgment and is now

>offering to help the family with summer school, they are stonewalling

>the media. You all know I've always been reluctant to voice my opinion

>(rrrrright, I'm just a wallflower) but I think this is an err that

>should never have come close to being made.

>

>The phone # to the school is 303-375-5970 and the principle's name is

> Gatewood (the article said something about an interim principle

>so may be in the process of updating her resume and might be

>too busy to take calls). During the summer the office closes at 3PM.

>Their website appears to be inoperative at the moment.

>

February 28, 2005

Thanks, It is a very good idea. It may not working fully for my

child, but it sure will help some other kids, I will forward this to

his teachers.

Jin

--- In , " Doug & McCreary " <dmccreary@s...>

wrote:

>

> There was a thread on bullying earlier this week. Here is something

interesting from another list I'm on.

>

> Ben's recess buddies effective bullying deterrent

> Monday, February 28, 2005

> I wanted to write in regards to Moir's response to a

parent's question on the issue of bullying. My son is also eight

years of age, has autism, has some language capabilities, but many

difficulties in communicating.

>

> When I first heard from teachers and school mates that bullying was

going on during recess, I decided to take action quickly. Since my

son loves school, I did not want bullying to become a deterrent to

learning for him. I spoke to his teacher and EA and suggested a

recess " buddy " program. The children volunteer each day to be my

son's recess buddy. Their job is to " shadow " Ben and, if they see

bullying taking place, to help him verbalize (e.g., " Stop it. " , " Go

away " , " Leave me alone " ) or to help him use his words to tell a

teacher.

>

> This has proven effective on several levels. First of all, it

involves his classmates in the solution to the problem of bullying.

They enjoy the responsibility and take it very seriously. Second, it

has the added benefit of encouraging socialization. One of his

classmates recently told me about her experience being Ben's recess

buddy. During the morning recess she had asked him if he wanted to

play, to which he responded, typically, " No. " During the afternoon

recess, she asked him again and he agreed to play. Since then, many

of the children play with Ben during recess, if he is inclined to do

so.

>

> I believe that empowering his classmates to stop the bullying was

an incredibly positive step for both Ben and the other children.

Please share our story if you think it will be of help.

>

> Sherry Houston,

> Vice-President

> Autism Society Ontario, Hamilton Chapter

>

> ---------------------------------

>

> I missed most of the Academy Awards last night, but from the

mentions on the papers today, I believe Autism is a World won an

award for short story documentary. A listmate shared the following:

>

> Autism is a World will broadcast on CNN Presents, Sunday May 22,

2005

> 8PM EST.

>

> ------------------------

>

May 21, 2006

Shayla, I had this experience in the school my son attended. He is LD/ADHD but the child who was bullying the whole class was ED. His teacher at the time wrote something on a behavior assessment that I had submitted to her that sparked concern. I called her and asked why she put the comment on the assessment. She then proceeded to tell me there was student bullying the class and was disruptive. She spoke with his mother on many occasions and mom said it was puberty!! Teacher told me she wanted to build a case by documenting notes to me and I guess other parents. I asked my son about these incidents. He was terrified to talk about what he was experiencing. All the blood rushed to my head--I was livid. I looked at the slaw website (this incident happend maybe a year after the Columbine incident) and read

about bullying. I also remembered reading on a listserv that a parent wrote a letter to the principal. I checked out law website. The principal is the one who needs to be notified in writing about what is going on and involve the teacher also. I wrote the letter quoted info from the slaw website, cc'd a special ed attorney, and other advocates who could help the parent get help for her son if the mom did not know how to access services. The letter had a threatening tone. I did state this behavior was affecting my sons mental health. They were livid with me but took immediate action and took the child out of the class. In your case the teacher should not allow the kids to bully him. She has to set the rules in the classroom. Turn the tables--how would she like to be bullied every day!! Chelly

January 30, 2007

Sally,

That was my first inclination because I was so angry. I doubt I'd have carried out anyway as logic usually overrules me in the end :-))

Sorry about your daughter. That of course rings bells here too...>>sigh<<<

bullying

You mustn't visit them at home. You immediately become wrong. Going through the school is the way the school recommends. As long as you follow that you can complain if it is ineffective.My daughter was persecuted by two girls in school who got hold of her phone no and rang it all the time pretending to be friends asking for her. We left it on answerphone all the time and let her listen to their voices floundering around trying to make up stuff to say. Sally

January 30, 2007

I think there was a DfES initiative about bullying and the NAS gave

evidence - might be worth checking their websites. Also perhaps try

Young Minds website.

Margaret

>

> Sally,

>

> That was my first inclination because I was so angry. I doubt I'd

have carried out anyway as logic usually overrules me in the end :-))

>

> Sorry about your daughter. That of course rings bells here

too...>>sigh<<<

>

> bullying

>

> You mustn't visit them at home. You immediately become wrong.

Going through the school is the way the school recommends. As long as

you follow that you can complain if it is ineffective.

> My daughter was persecuted by two girls in school who got hold of

her phone no and rang it all the time pretending to be friends asking

for her. We left it on answerphone all the time and let her listen to

their voices floundering around trying to make up stuff to say.

> Sally

>

January 30, 2007

Off for a look.

J

bullying> > > You mustn't visit them at home. You immediately become wrong. Going through the school is the way the school recommends. As long as you follow that you can complain if it is ineffective.> My daughter was persecuted by two girls in school who got hold of her phone no and rang it all the time pretending to be friends asking for her. We left it on answerphone all the time and let her listen to their voices floundering around trying to make up stuff to say. > Sally>

April 13, 2007

OOPS. . .Hugs was for you, Laurie and your dd. lol Got mixed up when

responding and put LT. Sorry.

BJ

>

> My dd is increasingly becoming the target of harrassment from her

class mates. This is mostly nasty girl stuff...snotty remarks. She

stands out, and is quiet. She is getting depressed again, and has

stomach aches before school. She's in 6th grade, middle school.

>

> I've talked to the counselor, and they have been good at moving

kids, but it's getting to the point where they can't just move everyone!

>

> How much is too much? I've thought about sending her to a private

school for learning disabled kids (because she has a serious learning

disability too, we have an IEP). But that would mean she would have

to give up violin, and she really likes playing in the orchestra.

>

> I've also thought about home schooling, though that would be

really hard. My mom, a former teacher, is completely against that

because of the socialization factor. But isn't there homeschool

groups for that?

>

> I'm sure some of you have had to deal with your kids getting

picked on. How do you deal with it? I wanted to cry when I sent my

dd into school today.

>

> Laurie

>

> ---------------------------------

> Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell?

> Check outnew cars at Autos.

>

April 13, 2007

OOPS. . .Hugs was for you, Laurie and your dd. lol Got mixed up when

responding and put LT. Sorry.

BJ

>

> My dd is increasingly becoming the target of harrassment from her

class mates. This is mostly nasty girl stuff...snotty remarks. She

stands out, and is quiet. She is getting depressed again, and has

stomach aches before school. She's in 6th grade, middle school.

>

> I've talked to the counselor, and they have been good at moving

kids, but it's getting to the point where they can't just move everyone!

>

> How much is too much? I've thought about sending her to a private

school for learning disabled kids (because she has a serious learning

disability too, we have an IEP). But that would mean she would have

to give up violin, and she really likes playing in the orchestra.

>

> I've also thought about home schooling, though that would be

really hard. My mom, a former teacher, is completely against that

because of the socialization factor. But isn't there homeschool

groups for that?

>

> I'm sure some of you have had to deal with your kids getting

picked on. How do you deal with it? I wanted to cry when I sent my

dd into school today.

>

> Laurie

>

> ---------------------------------

> Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell?

> Check outnew cars at Autos.

>

April 13, 2007

I hate bullying. 6th grade is hard enough. My DD has had her share of

" girl issues " this year too (6th). I hope we all survive it.

Dina

April 13, 2007

> >

> > My dd is increasingly becoming the target of harrassment from her

> class mates. This is mostly nasty girl stuff...snotty remarks. She

> stands out, and is quiet. She is getting depressed again, and has

> stomach aches before school. She's in 6th grade, middle school.

> >

> > I've talked to the counselor, and they have been good at moving

> kids, but it's getting to the point where they can't just move

everyone!

> >

> > How much is too much? I've thought about sending her to a

private

> school for learning disabled kids (because she has a serious

learning

> disability too, we have an IEP). But that would mean she would have

> to give up violin, and she really likes playing in the orchestra.

> >

> > I've also thought about home schooling, though that would be

> really hard. My mom, a former teacher, is completely against that

> because of the socialization factor. But isn't there homeschool

> groups for that?

> >

> > I'm sure some of you have had to deal with your kids getting

> picked on. How do you deal with it? I wanted to cry when I sent my

> dd into school today.

> >

> > Laurie

> >

> > Hi Laurie,

I'm homeschooling my 13 year old her core classes and she is

going to school for electives (computer, music, yearbook, etc.) The

school is working well with us. I understand what your mom is saying,

but the lasting damage that can be done by bullying is far worse then

any damage that would be done from not socializing. Besides, there

are many homeschooling groups and outside activities that she can be

a part of. My daughter is doing well. Her anxiety has lessened and

she finally seems happy. She actually enjoys going to school now. I

just realized that she couldn't be there all day. She was like a

square peg being forced to fit into a round hole. She's maturing and

she will get there someday, but for now, I feel this will help her to

succeed in the long run. I hope this has helped.

God bless,

Becky

> > ---------------------------------

> > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell?

> > Check outnew cars at Autos.

> >

April 13, 2007

(((hugs)))

Are the classmates threatening or just making fun/teasing (mean) type

stuff? Is it mainly in class or in the hallway, lunch...?

I would call a meeting with the teachers. Make them aware of it.

And they had best take it seriously! That's one thing I did with

. The teachers pay no attention or are out of the room when

things are said/done, so I told them about it and that I would *like*

them to keep an eye out for it, that I wanted it to stop (of

course!). And one year while talking to the principal about

something, I mentioned that was a good target and had been

teased/made fun of and he wanted to be informed if it happened.

My older son was being threatened by a classmate in 6th grade. I

spoke with his teachers and they arranged things so that the

classmate wouldn't have an opportunity to do/say anything. Had the

bathroom breaks split, had them in different groups for that; might

have my son leave class early for the next by taking a to someone for

them, or delay one of them and another would watch the hallway or

something, watched them in class.... All without letting my son or

other guy know I had ever said anything to them, just kept

it " natural. " Luckily the classmate got over being mad at my son.

I had stuff saved on harassment in schools back then. Let me know if

you want me to look for it. I was doing that so I would have written

backup if the school didn't seem to care. If it's making your child

uncomfortable in school, it's affecting her learning, etc., so falls

under harassment if I recall correctly.

>

> My dd is increasingly becoming the target of harrassment from her

class mates. This is mostly nasty girl stuff...snotty remarks. She

stands out, and is quiet. She is getting depressed again, and has

stomach aches before school. She's in 6th grade, middle school.

April 13, 2007

In a message dated 4/13/2007 11:27:15 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

wallflower67@... writes:

I've talked to the counselor, and they have been good at moving kids, but

it's getting to the point where they can't just move everyone!

How much is too much? I've thought about sending her to a private school

for learning disabled kids (because she has a serious learning disability too,

we have an IEP). But that would mean she would have to give up violin, and

she really likes playing in the orchestra.

Laurie

Oh - your poor dd. And bless her heart - violin!!!! Nothing too easy

there, eh? My dd took violin in 4th & 5th grade then finally just gave it up.

She still enjoyed playing it, but it was just too much practicing for her - she

wanted to do other things too.

Many schools have a " zero tolerance " for bullying these days because of all

the bad press that has come of it. I would push the issue with the school.

Just physically moving kids is NOT the answer. These kids need to be dealt

with - they need to be taught that what they're doing is unacceptable. Their

parents should also be brought into it. Learning disability or not, your

daughter has every right to be in that school & not be harassed

LT.

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

April 13, 2007

I'm rethinking my decision to keep her in public schools. I had good success

with the IEP meeting, and the teachers have been working with her. She had been

bullied before, but it seems like it has gotten worse since she was gone for 3

weeks in the hospital.

She REALLY stands out right now. She's growing so fast it seems like every

time I buy her clothes (and it has to be sweats or wind pants...no jeans or

anything that would make her look in style) they are high water on her within 3

months. So I've been buying her the cheap stuff which ends up shrinking faster.

She cares nothing about her appearance, and I constantly have to enforce bra,

deodorant, brush hair. I don't want to get into implying that if she changes

her looks (beyond basic hygeine) that people will like her better.

She actually wants to be a boy, which is it's own worry. However, I haven't

heard that one as much lately.

She is not withdrawn outside of school, generally. She has become withdrawn

when she is depressed. She has no problems talking to adults. Until this year,

she easily made and kept friends.

Do you work outside the home at all? I work part time, two to three days a

week. HOw many hours a day do you spend with home schooling?

thanks for your help!

Laurie

svdbyhislove <BJClosner@...> wrote:

In , wallflower wrote:

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. As if you don't have

enough to deal with, with the OCD and depression. I'm so upset for you.

We've not dealt with this too much because we've homeschooled for 8

years. We've never experienced bullying with any of the homeschooled

kids functions or get togethers. I will say though, a neighbor kid

was once picking on Josh when a bunch of them were playing together.

I thought Josh handled it really well. The kid kept pushing Josh and

trying to get Josh to fight with him, but Josh is a really easy going,

likeable kid. . doesn't want to fight and argue, so Josh just wrestled

him the ground and sat on him until the kid agreed to quit it. lol

They actually became friends after that. That poor kid had some real

family issues that made me realize why he had behaved that way.

When Josh was in school, we had contacted the school a couple of times

about situations where there was some bullying (a kid who was acting

out with pretty much everyone), but sadly, the school didn't do much

to rectify it. I wish I had some pearls of wisdom for you. I hope

someone else here has some advice that works and helps.

Hugs again,

BJ

---------------------------------

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell?

Check outnew cars at Autos.

April 13, 2007

No problem! thanks for the hugs!

svdbyhislove <BJClosner@...> wrote: OOPS. . .Hugs was for you, Laurie

and your dd. lol Got mixed up when

responding and put LT. Sorry.

BJ

---------------------------------

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell?

Check outnew cars at Autos.

April 13, 2007

Yes, this helps a lot. Do you live in a large school district? Did they work

well with you right off, or did you have to fight with them a bit (or beg them

or whatever)?

Laurie

gladtobegreek <gladtobegreek@...> wrote: