Re: What sets me off...

[Guest guest]

...see my posting in response to Tom. I would believe your

grandmother knew you. (And I also agree I would hate to have to live

with this disease...It's so cruel in that it robs you of

everything.) Louise

>

> My paternal grandmother had Alzheimer's. The first functions to go

were

> memory, short term mainly, and some control over emotions. I can

remember her

> putting a deck of cards on the table then going to get some tea,

then coming

> back into the room and asked if I was done playing cards. When I

told her that

> she had gotten the cards, she said she hadn't and get rather

snippy. Later on

> she lost more and more of her short term memory so that she

couldn't function

> and was put in a home. Eventually she lost the ability to speak,

so it was

> hard to tell at that point if she could recognize people anymore

or not.

> However, before then she would often forget who people were and

would ask them

> over and over who they were and what they were doing there. When

she was told,

> she would remember them and things from the past, but would slip

away again.

> The last time I saw here about a year before she died, she was

unable to speak

> or even move. She had to be moved by someone else even to the

toilet. Pretty

> much all she could do by then was to shake like a palsy.

>

> Still, it is uncertain home much of the conscious mind is still

functioning.

> The last time I saw my grandmother, she watched me the whole time

I was

> there and never looked at anyone else, though she did look away to

a picture of

> me as a child that was on her dresser. That makes me think that

there was

> still something left in there and my uncle, the one who lived

nearest to her and

> visited often, said that she was still able to recognize people

and try to

> make her wishes known, though that wasn't easy since she couldn't

talk nor

> could she really control her movements. That is one reason I hope

they don't ban

> firearms or if they do that I can keep one hidden. If I start

ending up like

> that or something else that is terrible, I'll have a quick way out

of it.

>

>

>

>

> In a message dated 5/29/2008 1:06:41 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> no_reply writes:

>

> I don't want to evoke an unpleasant image here, but Alzheimers

causes

> the brain to atrophy in a way that causes it to resemble Swiss

> cheese. If I recall correctly, the least important functions go

first

> (memory) and the most important last (involuntary functions). If

he

> is near the end, know that he will be spared considerable

suffering.

> My thoughts are with you and Marsha as always during this time.

>

>

> Administrator

>

>

>

>

> **************Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch " Cooking

with

> Tyler Florence " on AOL Food.

> (http://food.aol.com/tyler-florence?video=4 & ?

NCID=aolfod00030000000002)

>

[Guest guest]

Tom...What you, and many other straight people don't realize is that

you DO announce your sexuality...It's just because it's the norm that

you don't realize it. Sexuality is not just about who you sleep

with; it's about who you love and live your life with. When you say

that you and Raven are dating, you are in a sense announcing that you

are heterosexual. If you walk down the street and hold Raven's hand,

you are announcing your sexuality. When wedding announcements appear

in the paper, the couples are announcing their sexuality. In order

to " not announce my sexuality, " I would have to change pronouns and

avoid telling everyone that my partner of 19 years is a woman. This

would mean people not understanding what it is like for me to watch

her biological child (my stepchild) slowly die. Thus, in order for

me to live an honest life and not have to worry about lying every

step of the way, I MUST announce my sexuality. (Again, this really

nothing to do with sex...it has everything to do with affectional

orientation....and I actually wish that was what it was called.)

Louise

>

> " I hit what is practically full shutdown when I try to come out to

my

> parents. (I'm bisexual and transexual).

>

> " It scares me to no end, but for some reason they don't seem to

> understand that I'm shutting down. I've been trying to find a way to

> override that for about fifteen to thirty minutes. The psychologist

> seemed to lack experience in asperger's, based on the fact that she

> thought I was faking the shutdowns and that she seemed surprised

when

> I figured out that she was sharing details of my sessions with

Mom...

> *sighs* I'm still a little angry over the whole fiasco. "

>

> 1) If you were an adult, the psychologist should not be sharig

anything

> with your mom. If you were underaged, then, unless I am mistaken,

you

> MAY have had a right to keep your sessions private, and the

> psychologist may have violated that right.

>

> 2) Why do you feel the need to come out to your parents? What

purpose

> would it serve? I have never understood this aspect of homo or

> bisexuality or transexualism. Even if I lived in a world where

everyone

> was homosexual and the world procreated by in-vitro fertilization,

I

> would not be inclined or have the desire to tell anyone about my

> sexuality. Additionally, I do not think I would feel any sort of

need

> to express my sexuality publically and be accepted for it. I am

trying

> to imagine byself being gay and I can't see myself feeling relief

about

> being able to say out loud " Hey everybody! Look at me! I'm gay! Woo

> hoo! " For me, I think sexuality is a private thing no matter what

my

> sexuality is.

>

> I had no inclination or desire to tell my parents about my AS but

it

> slipped out one night during an argument. Otherwise, I would not

have

> told them, and they would have gone to their graves not knowing. As

far

> as I am concerned, my AS diagnosis and my sexuality (hetero) is no

> one's business but my own. I am open about AS here of course, but

> outside of this forum, I keep my AS to myself most of the time.

>

>

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

Tom...What you, and many other straight people don't realize is that

you DO announce your sexuality...It's just because it's the norm that

you don't realize it. Sexuality is not just about who you sleep

with; it's about who you love and live your life with. When you say

that you and Raven are dating, you are in a sense announcing that you

are heterosexual. If you walk down the street and hold Raven's hand,

you are announcing your sexuality. When wedding announcements appear

in the paper, the couples are announcing their sexuality. In order

to " not announce my sexuality, " I would have to change pronouns and

avoid telling everyone that my partner of 19 years is a woman. This

would mean people not understanding what it is like for me to watch

her biological child (my stepchild) slowly die. Thus, in order for

me to live an honest life and not have to worry about lying every

step of the way, I MUST announce my sexuality. (Again, this really

nothing to do with sex...it has everything to do with affectional

orientation....and I actually wish that was what it was called.)

Louise

>

> " I hit what is practically full shutdown when I try to come out to

my

> parents. (I'm bisexual and transexual).

>

> " It scares me to no end, but for some reason they don't seem to

> understand that I'm shutting down. I've been trying to find a way to

> override that for about fifteen to thirty minutes. The psychologist

> seemed to lack experience in asperger's, based on the fact that she

> thought I was faking the shutdowns and that she seemed surprised

when

> I figured out that she was sharing details of my sessions with

Mom...

> *sighs* I'm still a little angry over the whole fiasco. "

>

> 1) If you were an adult, the psychologist should not be sharig

anything

> with your mom. If you were underaged, then, unless I am mistaken,

you

> MAY have had a right to keep your sessions private, and the

> psychologist may have violated that right.

>

> 2) Why do you feel the need to come out to your parents? What

purpose

> would it serve? I have never understood this aspect of homo or

> bisexuality or transexualism. Even if I lived in a world where

everyone

> was homosexual and the world procreated by in-vitro fertilization,

I

> would not be inclined or have the desire to tell anyone about my

> sexuality. Additionally, I do not think I would feel any sort of

need

> to express my sexuality publically and be accepted for it. I am

trying

> to imagine byself being gay and I can't see myself feeling relief

about

> being able to say out loud " Hey everybody! Look at me! I'm gay! Woo

> hoo! " For me, I think sexuality is a private thing no matter what

my

> sexuality is.

>

> I had no inclination or desire to tell my parents about my AS but

it

> slipped out one night during an argument. Otherwise, I would not

have

> told them, and they would have gone to their graves not knowing. As

far

> as I am concerned, my AS diagnosis and my sexuality (hetero) is no

> one's business but my own. I am open about AS here of course, but

> outside of this forum, I keep my AS to myself most of the time.

>

>

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

There were similar problems with my grandmother. They finally put her in a home because she had left things on the stove until they caught fire several times.

What really did her in was breaking her hip. My uncle had gone to pick her up for her weekly hair appointment and told her to wait on the walk while he got the car. She was always impatient and stubborn, aspects the Alzheimer's made worse, and she stepped off the curb and fell. After that she was bed ridden and her health rapidly declined. Even so, she hung on far longer than the doctors had expected.

My mother-in-law was also afflicted and we knew something was up whenshe had trouble dialing phone numbers, even with the number printed inher hand while she dialed. The doctor would not diagnose this becauseshe passed the test where she could recall accurately the date, thepresident, etc. She then began to get lost driving to familar placesand we were scared for her safety and the safety of others.Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch "Cooking with Tyler Florence" on AOL Food.

[Guest guest]

There were similar problems with my grandmother. They finally put her in a home because she had left things on the stove until they caught fire several times.

What really did her in was breaking her hip. My uncle had gone to pick her up for her weekly hair appointment and told her to wait on the walk while he got the car. She was always impatient and stubborn, aspects the Alzheimer's made worse, and she stepped off the curb and fell. After that she was bed ridden and her health rapidly declined. Even so, she hung on far longer than the doctors had expected.

My mother-in-law was also afflicted and we knew something was up whenshe had trouble dialing phone numbers, even with the number printed inher hand while she dialed. The doctor would not diagnose this becauseshe passed the test where she could recall accurately the date, thepresident, etc. She then began to get lost driving to familar placesand we were scared for her safety and the safety of others.Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch "Cooking with Tyler Florence" on AOL Food.

[Guest guest]

, Im sorry about that. *Offers a hug*.

About the games, perhaps you can force them to slow down by reducing

the task priority, and adding something processor intensive?

[Guest guest]

Thanks. It is kind of silly to get so worked up over a game, but that is just an example of the kind of influence they can have on people. Like I said though, what got to me most about Freelancer is that the people who made the game changed it so much from the original intent. Anyway, I've put the difficulty level at 70%, which seems to balance using a freighter and not wanting an all out violent game, for now anyway. This is unusual since I otherwise either play at normal settings or even a higher difficulty.

Those old games were meant for ancient machines. If I recall correctly, Megatraveller 2 and Mechwarrior both required the astounding power of the machines that predated the 286. I tried playing Mechwarrior on a 386 and the battles were over in seconds, with me getting slaughtered. MT 2 also had that problem when getting ambushed in the cities on planets. The action was over in the blink of an eye. Literally I was wondering why one of my characters was suddenly dead. I have seen a program, well I did years ago, that would adjust the clock speed of your computer so you could play the games, but I didn't get it because it and the games were on a website hosted in Russia. The last thing I wanted to do was to download anything from there or give out my credit card number.

What I think is interesting is that so many of the older games focuses on the story and character development because graphics were terrible (blocky 16 bit things with a basic like 256 or usually much less color pallet), but the modern games are all about graphic that take virtual supercomputers to run, but story is secondary. I really think that is why first person shooters, simulators and sports games are so popular with the companies. They don't have to spend a lot of time developing characters and game worlds: they just have to make cool weapons and things to blow up.

Thanks again,

, Im sorry about that. *Offers a hug*.About the games, perhaps you can force them to slow down by reducingthe task priority, and adding something processor intensive?Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch "Cooking with Tyler Florence" on AOL Food.

[Guest guest]

Thanks to you and Raven and everyone else who responded. I have a

better understanding now.

Administrator

" Tom...What you, and many other straight people don't realize is that

you DO announce your sexuality...It's just because it's the norm that

you don't realize it. Sexuality is not just about who you sleep

with; it's about who you love and live your life with. When you say

that you and Raven are dating, you are in a sense announcing that you

are heterosexual. If you walk down the street and hold Raven's hand,

you are announcing your sexuality. When wedding announcements appear

in the paper, the couples are announcing their sexuality. In order

to " not announce my sexuality, " I would have to change pronouns and

avoid telling everyone that my partner of 19 years is a woman. This

would mean people not understanding what it is like for me to watch

her biological child (my stepchild) slowly die. Thus, in order for

me to live an honest life and not have to worry about lying every

step of the way, I MUST announce my sexuality. (Again, this really

nothing to do with sex...it has everything to do with affectional

orientation....and I actually wish that was what it was called.) "

[Guest guest]

wrote: " Thanks to you and Raven and everyone else who

responded. I have a better understanding now. "

You're very welcome.

Raven

Co-Administrator

[Guest guest]

Raven...As always, your analogy accurately described our experience. -

-- In FAMSecretSociety , " ravenmagic2003 "

wrote:

>

> Zoe wrote: " ... <snip> ... I hit what is practically full

shutdown

> when I try to come out to my parents. (I'm bisexual and

> transexual) ... <snip> ... "

>

> responded: " ... <snip> ... Why do you feel the need to

come

> out to your parents? What purpose would it serve? I have never

> understood this aspect of homo or bisexuality or transexualism ...

> <snip> ... "

>

> While the points you made were valid, , there are other

points

> you have overlooked.

>

> First, secrets are dangerous things that eat away at one's soul.

>

> Second, the adage " To thine own self be true " has considerable

> merit. For some, being true to himself or herself is to remove the

> secrecy that shrouds the truth of who they are as an individual.

>

> Homosexuality, bisexuality and transsexualism is more than a

> preference. It is an expression of who the individual is.

>

> Imagine if you spoke another language and practiced another culture

> but still lived in America. Now imagine if you were told that you

> are to never speak that language with others -- even those whom you

> know speak the same language as you -- and that you are to keep

your

> culture shrouded in mystery and hidden from the public.

>

> Would that not be discriminatory?

>

> Would that not be cruel?

>

> This is what most people want ... to be accept for who he or she is

> and to be able to express who he or she is publicly while still

> within the parameters of the law.

>

> Now imagine this scenario. Imagine that you, with your different

> language and different culture, decide that you will force everyone

> in your environment -- regardless of whether they are part of your

> circle of influence or merely strangers passing by -- to not only

> speak your language and actively experience your culture, but to

> diminish their language and diminish their culture?

>

> The backlash is understandable because the expectation and actions

> therein are now intrusive and discriminatory towards those who do

not

> speak your language or share your culture.

>

> It is important for those who wish to express the truth about

> themselves in their way that they be allowed to do so without

> judgment and without fear of negative repercussions, especially

from

> those they love.

>

> That your diagnosis was revealed after an argument with your family

> is unfair to you and disrespectful towards you as a person. You

> should have had the freedom to disclose this truth about yourself

in

> a safe and welcoming environment if you wanted to disclose it. It

> should not have been forced out of you in an argument.

>

> Raven

> Co-Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Tom...How do we get NTs to be as open to change as you are???? I

can't tell you how many people would rigidly hold to their views,

denouncing that which both Raven and I said as " having nothing to do

with what they are saying..... "

>

> " Tom...What you, and many other straight people don't realize is

that

> you DO announce your sexuality...It's just because it's the norm

that

> you don't realize it. Sexuality is not just about who you sleep

> with; it's about who you love and live your life with. When you say

> that you and Raven are dating, you are in a sense announcing that

you

> are heterosexual. If you walk down the street and hold Raven's

hand,

> you are announcing your sexuality. When wedding announcements

appear

> in the paper, the couples are announcing their sexuality. In order

> to " not announce my sexuality, " I would have to change pronouns and

> avoid telling everyone that my partner of 19 years is a woman. This

> would mean people not understanding what it is like for me to watch

> her biological child (my stepchild) slowly die. Thus, in order for

> me to live an honest life and not have to worry about lying every

> step of the way, I MUST announce my sexuality. (Again, this really

> nothing to do with sex...it has everything to do with affectional

> orientation....and I actually wish that was what it was called.) "

>

[Guest guest]

" Hey Tom...How do we get NTs to be as open to change as you are???? I

can't tell you how many people would rigidly hold to their views,

denouncing that which both Raven and I said as " having nothing to do

with what they are saying..... "

I don't particularly see myself as being open to change. I simply had a

question and you all answered in a way that helped me to understand

what I was missing. The difference between me and others, I think, is

that there is no real or implied lesson or hostility or side-taking in

the questions I ask. I am merely asking questions for the purposes of

enlightenment, not surruptitiously trying to assert a political view or

put forth a veiled opinion...and not necessarily trying to change

myself or my way of thinking either, but still being open to the idea

that the answers I receive may change my thinking.

Administrator

[Guest guest]

I am merely asking questions for the purposes of

> enlightenment, >

>

> Administrator

>

Perhaps that's the real difference, Tom....I've come to the conclusion

that the majority of NTs are really not interested in enlightenment;

rather they are interested in obtaining information to prove their

point of view.

[Guest guest]

" I've come to the conclusion that the majority of NTs are really not

interested in enlightenment; rather they are interested in obtaining

information to prove their point of view. "

I came to that conclusion a long time ago also. All you need to do is

look at the Family Forum and the lack of participation in it. People

don't like a point of view that forces them to think outside of their

own little minds.

Administrator

[Guest guest]

>

I am open about AS here of course, but

> outside of this forum, I keep my AS to myself most of the time.

>

>

> Administrator

>

I too can be open here but in the face to face world where everything

can be used to judge against you, I keep my cards close to me.