Re: I give up......

May 4, 2012

Okay. I'll try the meletonin that way. We, and his doc, have talked relentlessly about excercise. He said that doesn't work for him. By the way, his doc said he has never seen anxiety as bad as my son has it. They won't give him the typical meds for anxiety because he is a recovering addict. Thank you. From: Caudle

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012 9:26 PM Subject: Re: I give up......

ï»¿

you might give the melatonin another try our doc says to take 1mg about 5pm and then to take a larger pill about an hour before bed the extra one early triggers the body like natural light does

does he get exercise? some vigorous exercise mid afternoon might help also turn off all things that have little lights or cover the lights plays with your brain no TV or computer about an hour before bed helps also

good luck no sleep sucks

and make arrangements for someone to check on your son go on the trip have a good time and recharge your energy and your relationship with hubby both are important

May 4, 2012

When my son was in re-hab, they had this saying that I heard over and over Take Life on Life's terms. Maybe it doesn't make sense to all of you but it's something I still say to my son when he whines about something stupid. To: autism-aspergers

Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012 7:36 PM Subject: Re: I give up......

Sometimes we just have to not listen to the thoughts in our heads.

I have two kids with AS. When they are going through a bad time, I

don't just feel bad for them, I feel responsible as they inherited

it from me. Getting depressed about it does no good for them or

me. We just have to deal with life as it is and make the best of

it. If we go blaming ourselves for things we can't change, we just

make things worse. We can't always stop our thoughts, but we can

choose to focus on doing what we can to make things work better.

Life gets bad at times, but there are also good times as well.

Perspective is important. If our kids are safe and happy, then

things are much better than they could have been.

A bad mother wouldn't worry as much as you do. And, you

need the break too! If you worry about spending time with

him, maybe after things have calmed down, you could hang

out in his room for part of the time he is in there. Just

being in the same room might feel good? I think it is just

like our older children chilling out in their rooms, my 9

year old loves to be in his room completely under the

covers. I let him spend the time he needs like that. Like

said, if he is happy and safe then you are doing

things right. Be easy on yourself.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Sender: autism-aspergers

Date: Thu, 3 May 2012 16:09:54 -0700

To: autism-aspergers <autism-aspergers >

ReplyTo: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: I give up......

Agreed!

Sent from my iPhone

On May 3, 2012, at 4:03 PM, Riley

wrote:

We all need somewhere to hide sometimes. If he

is happy, how can it possibly make you a bad

mother?

Well I don't leave him in there for

a long time but like in the mornings when

he wakes up if you go in there to get him

he wants nothin to do with you. So I

always just walk out and leave him in

there to play for about an hour and come

back to see if he's ready to come out and

some times he is and sometimes he isn't.

And periodically during the day if he is

really stimming way to much or having a

lot of meltdowns I will put him in there

and he immediately is happy. and I'll

leave him in there for about an hour and

come check on him to see if he's ready to

come out. His bed has absolutely nothing

in it except a sheet. Which is blue. For

the most part he is outside of his crib,

but he seems to be so much happier in his

crib but I don't like putting him in there

cause then I feel like a bad mom. But that

is where he is happy.

From:

Muehleisen Family

To:

autism-aspergers

Sent:

Thursday, May 3, 2012 12:03 AM

Subject:

Re: I give up......

What about a small

tent that he could

play quietly in. It

would give him the

enclosed feeling he

needs and he could

come and go as he

wanted to. I'd get one

that's not too big and

not colorful (maybe a

dark blue, not red).

Put it in a room that

you want him

in. Little or no noise

would be best at

first. If you get one

that you can connect

to others via a tube,

you would be able to

add to it when he gets

older. The problem

might be the super

bight colors. Is

is his crib colorful?

http://www.amazon.com/Pacific-Play-Tents-Safari-Tunnel/dp/B00083DD4O/ref=sr_1_3?s=toys-and-games & ie=UTF8 & qid=1336017388 & sr=1-3

To begin with,

maybe find a large

box. See if he will

pay in that.

That would be more

socially acceptable

that keeping him in

the bed. I completely

understand and agree

with you. He needs to

be able to live his

life outside of his

crib but if he is

happy in his bed then

let him be in his

crib...but it needs to

be limited so he can

grow. However, if you

tell the drs that you

keep him in his bed

for extended

periods, CPS might get

involved. None of

those people

understand so it could

be bad.

ï»¿

Only two

defining forces

have ever offered

to die for you;

Jesus

Christ and the

American Soldier.

One died

for your soul; the

other for your

freedom.

-------Original

Message-------

From:

Lori

Yurtin

Date:

5/1/2012 12:25:39 PM

To:

autism-aspergers

Subject:

Re:

I

give up......

Poor Colton. The

world is just too

much for him.

Sensory overload.

That is why he is

happy in his crib

all alone.

Sent from my iPhone

On May 1, 2012, at

12:14 PM, sara

degeer

wrote:

Wow, Well

Colton has

been getting

worse with the

head banging.

Just in 3

weeks he's had

2 black eyes

and the giant

knot on his

forehead. I'm

so worried

about him

getting

seriously

injured

because I know

he's not. I

really worry

about his face

and his teeth.

His teeth are

so perfect.

Colton doesn't

chew his

tongue but he

sucks on it. I

personally

because of my

anxiety I chew

the inside of

my mouth to

the point that

it bleeds. I

hate when I

get like that.

Since this

past weekend

Colton has

been

absolutely

awful. He has

been in bed

for almost 2

days because

every time I

let him out he

is so violent

and just walks

around

screaming and

crying. But

when he's in

his crib all

alone he's all

smiles. But

he's happy, I

don't know

what to do.

From:

"sandradaniels2001@..."

To:

autism-aspergers

Sent:

Monday, April

30, 2012 8:44

AM

Subject:

Re:

I give

up......

No virus

found in this message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database: 2425/4976 - Release Date:

05/03/12

May 4, 2012

I just feel bad about leaving him in there but I go check on him a lot to see if he wants out but usually he doesn't. And now my sister is on my case because I used to yell and scream at her all the time about her leaving her kid in the crib all the time but she did it because she didn't want to watch her kids. And I don't know how to explain to her that this is different than me not wanting to watch him. To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012 7:03 PM Subject: Re: I give up......

We all need somewhere to hide sometimes. If he is happy, how can it

possibly make you a bad mother?

Well I don't leave him in there for a long time

but like in the mornings when he wakes up if you go in

there to get him he wants nothin to do with you. So I

always just walk out and leave him in there to play

for about an hour and come back to see if he's ready

to come out and some times he is and sometimes he

isn't. And periodically during the day if he is really

stimming way to much or having a lot of meltdowns I

will put him in there and he immediately is happy. and

I'll leave him in there for about an hour and come

check on him to see if he's ready to come out. His bed

has absolutely nothing in it except a sheet. Which is

blue. For the most part he is outside of his crib, but

he seems to be so much happier in his crib but I don't

like putting him in there cause then I feel like a bad

mom. But that is where he is happy.

From:

Muehleisen Family

To:

autism-aspergers

Sent:

Thursday, May 3, 2012 12:03 AM

Subject:

Re: I give up......

What about a small tent that he

could play quietly in. It would

give him the enclosed feeling he

needs and he could come and go as

he wanted to. I'd get one that's

not too big and not colorful

(maybe a dark blue, not red). Put

it in a room that you want him

in. Little or no noise would be

best at first. If you get one that

you can connect to others via a

tube, you would be able to add to

it when he gets older. The problem

might be the super bight colors.

Is is his crib colorful?

http://www.amazon.com/Pacific-Play-Tents-Safari-Tunnel/dp/B00083DD4O/ref=sr_1_3?s=toys-and-games & ie=UTF8 & qid=1336017388 & sr=1-3

To begin with, maybe find a

large box. See if he will pay in

that.

That would be more socially

acceptable that keeping him in the

bed. I completely understand and

agree with you. He needs to be

able to live his life outside of

his crib but if he is happy in his

bed then let him be in his

crib...but it needs to be limited

so he can grow. However, if you

tell the drs that you keep him in

his bed for extended periods, CPS

might get involved. None of those

people understand so it could be

bad.

ï»¿

Only

two defining forces have ever

offered to die for you;

Jesus

Christ and the American

Soldier.

One

died for your soul; the other

for your freedom.

-------Original

Message-------

From: Lori

Yurtin

Date:

5/1/2012 12:25:39 PM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject:

Re: I give

up......

Poor Colton. The world is

just too much for him. Sensory

overload. That is why he is

happy in his crib all alone.

Sent from my iPhone

On May 1, 2012, at 12:14 PM,

sara degeer

wrote:

Wow, Well Colton has

been getting worse with

the head banging. Just

in 3 weeks he's had 2

black eyes and the giant

knot on his forehead.

I'm so worried about him

getting seriously

injured because I know

he's not. I really worry

about his face and his

teeth. His teeth are so

perfect. Colton doesn't

chew his tongue but he

sucks on it. I

personally because of my

anxiety I chew the

inside of my mouth to

the point that it

bleeds. I hate when I

get like that. Since

this past weekend Colton

has been absolutely

awful. He has been in

bed for almost 2 days

because every time I let

him out he is so violent

and just walks around

screaming and crying.

But when he's in his

crib all alone he's all

smiles. But he's happy,

I don't know what to do.

From:

"sandradaniels2001@..."

To:

autism-aspergers

Sent:

Monday, April 30,

2012 8:44 AM

Subject:

Re:

I give up......

My daughter

who is now 13

, does the

hand rubbing ,

when she gets

stressed ,

almost to the

point of

rubbing her

hands until

the skin

started to

peel on her

hands , at one

point she

began to chew

the side of

her tongue

also. I have

also had to

deal with head

banging ,not

from her but

my 6 year old

grandson is

autistic also

, and at one

point he was

so bad we were

thinking of

getting him a

helmet to keep

him from

injuring

himself.

Thank

goodness for

our

pediatrician

he really

helped my

family .

Things are

getting better

its all about

good days and

bad ones . We

just roll with

the punches

and start over

the next day

Sent from my

HTC smartphone

on the Now

Network from

Sprint!

-----

Reply message

-----

From: "Ashton"

To: <autism-aspergers >

Subject:

I give

up......

Date: Sun, Apr

29, 2012 11:48

pm

My 7 yo

meows and

walks on all

fours. He does

it in response

to stress.

He'll do it

for a week or

so then stop.

He is also

obsessed with

all things

cat. He brings

home book

after book on

cats and talks

about them

incessently.

When our

female passed,

had panic

attacks off

and on for a

week. He

brings her up

alot and says

she's with

Jesus and our

dog.

Ashton

sara

degeer

wrote:

>

>Well now

this meowing

thing is

getting out of

control. He

does it

constantly.

Even in public

really loud

and hes not

saying the

word meow he

is more like

making the

noise and

people just

stare at us

like wth is

wrong with

your kid? Not

to mention its

just gettin

kinda

annoying. And

now im scared

to teach him

any other

animal sounds.

God forbid he

learn how to

"moo". Lol

>

>------------------------------

>On Sat,

Apr 28, 2012

9:45 AM EDT

R.

Tucker wrote:

>

>>No, ha

ha, no

meowing!

Thank

goodness!

>>

>>________________________________

>> From:

sara degeer

>>To: "autism-aspergers "

<autism-aspergers >

>>Sent:

Friday, April

27, 2012 3:22

PM

>>Subject:

Re:

I give

up......

>>

>>Does

he meow too,

cause my older

daughter

taught colton

how to and he

has been doing

it ever since

over and over

and over

>>

>>________________________________

>> From:

R.

Tucker

>>To: "autism-aspergers "

<autism-aspergers >

>>Sent:

Thursday,

April 26, 2012

7:06 PM

>>Subject:

Re:

I give

up......

>>

>>OMG!!!

My son licks

the back of

his hand!! We

call him kitty

cat! What

makes someone

do this??????

I gotta hear

why!!

>>

>>________________________________

>> From:

sara degeer

>>To: "autism-aspergers "

<autism-aspergers >

>>Sent:

Thursday,

April 26, 2012

3:49 PM

>>Subject:

Re:

I give

up......

>>

>> YOU

WROTE: He

would also rub

the back of

his hand

against his

lips

>>

>>That

is what colton

does. And

sometimes will

have his

tongue

sticking out

so that he's

licking the

back of his

hand.

>>

>>________________________________

>> From:

Lori Yurtin

>>To: autism-aspergers

>>Sent:

Thursday,

April 26, 2012

3:18 PM

>>Subject:

Re:

I give

up......

>>

>>My son

showed signs

of autism

almost from

birth. He

would stare at

bright lights,

trees moving

and anything

that spun. He

never turned

to our voices

like his twin

sister did

from a very

early age. I

told his Ped

that he had

autism during

a 7/8week well

care visit!

Yes, things

got worse

before they

got better.

Before

intensive

therapy (25-30

hours each

week!)

>>

>>He

never moved so

much so that

he developed a

flat back of

his head. We

had to move

him to his

side several

times in the

middle of the

night but, he

just kept

flopping over

to his back.

Almost had to

wear a helmet.

>>

>>He

couldn't sit

up or do tummy

time because

he didn't have

the strength

to lift his

head up...he

would just

scream bloody

murder with

his head

smashed into

the carpet.

>>

>>Anyway...my

son would flip

his hand over

and suck on

the outside of

his pinky when

he would get

upset. He

would also rub

the back of

his hand

against his

lips. Totally

for sensory

calming....

>>

>>Lori

>>

>>Please

BOYCOTT the

movie 21 Jump

Street! It

makes fun of

those with

autism!

>>https://www.facebook.com/BoycottMovie21JumpStreetForAutism

>>

>>--- On

Thu, 4/26/12,

sara degeer

wrote:

>>

>>>From:

sara degeer

>>>Subject:

Re:

I give

up......

>>>To:

"autism-aspergers "

<autism-aspergers >

>>>Date:

Thursday,

April 26,

2012, 12:07 PM

>>>

>>>Wow,

thats crazy I

think if

Colton ever

told me He

hated me, I

think a piece

of me would

just die. I

love all of my

kids the same

I would do

anything in

the world for

anyone one of

them but

Colton just

has a really

special place

in my heart.

And his anger

hurts me the

most. I never

really paid

much attention

to the nose

rubbing thing

I knew he did

it a lot. Even

when he just

gets excited

he rubs his

nose. Even if

he doesn't

have snot. And

everyone keeps

asking me if

he ways his

hands in front

of his face

but he didn't

use to but

have been

noticing that

when he is

holding his

brush he waves

that like on

the side of

his face. and

now he has

started taking

the back of

his hand and

rubbing it

back and forth

really fast

against his

lips. but he

usually only

does that when

he is mad and

crying. I feel

like everyday

he starts

something new.

I used to

think he was

just mildly

autistic if at

all. but now i

feel like it

may be getting

much worse.

Because

>>

everything i

have read and

from what

people tell me

is usually

kids dont

start showing

signs til

about right

now where as

he has had

them almost

his whole

life, and are

just getting

worse.

>>>

>>>________________________________

>>>

From: Ashton S

>>>To:

autism-aspergers

>>>Sent:

Wednesday,

April 25, 2012

6:10 PM

>>>Subject:

Re:

I give

up......

>>>

>>>Hi

Sara,

>>>

>>>You

ARE seeing

what you think

you are seeing

in your son.

I watched your

vodeos of him

and it's like

looking at me

and my

youngest. His

nerves are in

overdrive and

he's

responding to

that by

melting down.

If you notice,

he rubs his

nose a lot,

not just

because it's

running from

crying but

because it is

tingling. The

stimming he

does is his

way of trying

to calm down

the sensations

his little

body is going

through,

neurologically

and anxiety.

>>>

>>>I

see him

lashing out

then he'll hug

you. He is

trying to tell

you what is

going on

inside him and

that he is

sorry. I've

lived this my

entire life

inside, it's

like a war

inside, and

you cannot

stop it, so

you just want

to scream.

I'm 44 years

old and I

still have

these same

issues, and

have learned

to be by

myself when I

feel out of

control. My

son melted

down like

this, and at

7, still does,

but not as

often. Now it

comes out in

defiance

against his

brother and

me.

>>>

>>>My

son wears a

compression

suit from the

time he wakes

up, until

bedtime. His

school and

occupational

therapist said

that they

notice a big

difference in

him since he

got his SPIO

suit. I

notice that

he's able to

calm himself

more now than

prior. I

would love to

have an adult

sized SPIO

suit myself,

but I don't

have the money

or the

insurance to

get one.

>>>

>>>My

youngest's

meltdowns were

violent toward

me and my son,

they still

are, but now

his is more

able to talk

instead of

hit/punch/shove

first. I

think the

difference was

when he gained

his ability

speak better.

He still

struggles but

he can tell me

better what

has upset

him. Until

that happened,

it was so bad,

we had to

remove all

knives from

the kitchen

because he

would go get

one and either

throw it at me

or my oldest,

or threaten to

stab us "I

stab you." He

hasn't done

that in a long

time. He

mostly tells

me he hates me

when he's mad,

and I remind

him, "No, you

don't hate me,

you are mad at

me."

>>>

>>>Please

don't let this

therapist stop

you from

pursuing what

Colton needs

most,

intervention

and help as

early as

possible. Keep

seeking until

someone will

listen. I had

friends tell

me nothing was

wrong with my

sons or me,

that, Ethan

was just

acting out for

attention. I

finally got

him evaluated

and now he is

in IEP and

Speech/Occu

therapy. They

are helping so

much,

especially

with the

behavioral and

eating issues

>>>

>>>Ashton

(Aspie Mom

with 2

Autistic sons)

>>>

>>>On

Tue, Apr 24,

2012 at 10:48

AM, sara

degeer

wrote:

>>>

>>>So

for the last 7

weeks that

Coltons

therapist has

been coming to

see him he has

only showed up

3 times. He is

suppose to

come once a

week for an

hour. When he

cancels he

texts me

minutes away

from the appt.

time. Which I

find

ridiculous. So

I called

yesterday to

have Early

Steps try and

get me a

different

Therapist. And

to have Colton

tested for

ASD. And to

get him into a

Gifted school.

They accept

children that

have anything

from

developmental

delays to

Severe

Retardation.

And you can

start at 18

months old.

Everything

went good til

today. When

The old

Therapist

comes to my

house and is

like well can

you tell me

why I'm not on

your case

anymore? And I

calmly

explained to

him that I

need someone

more reliable.

He mentioned

that I should

not seek a dx

and that I

should wait a

few years if I

am told to do

so. And then

he goes on to

talk about how

everyone at

the office is

"talking"

about "certain

parents" that

only want

their child dx

so they can

>>

receive

government

benefits. And

said that they

don't say

names cause

they aren't

allowed to but

didn't think

any of it was

about me. I in

no way shape

or form want

anything from

the government

only the right

kind of care

for my child.

I am extremely

hurt by what

he said. And

Think that you

know maybe

there isn't

anything wrong

with him.

Maybe he's

just weird and

quirky. I

can't stop

thinking about

it. I don't

know what to

do. I am

really

starting to

question if

there is

anything wrong

at all. :-/

>>>

>>>P.S.

This is my Son

Colton http://www.youtube.com/user/bradleysmommy1?feature=mhee

>>>

>>

Well now this

meowing thing

is getting out

of control. He

does it

constantly.

Even in public

really loud

and hes not

saying the

word meow he

is more like

making the

noise and

people just

stare at us

like wth is

wrong with

your kid? Not

to mention its

just gettin

kinda

annoying. And

now im scared

to teach him

any other

animal sounds.

God forbid he

learn how to

"moo". Lol

------------------------------

On Sat, Apr

28, 2012 9:45

AM EDT

R. Tucker

wrote:

>No, ha ha,

no meowing!

Thank

goodness!

>

>________________________________

> From:

sara degeer

>To: "autism-aspergers "

<autism-aspergers >

>Sent:

Friday, April

27, 2012 3:22

PM

>Subject:

Re:

I give

up......

>

>Does he

meow too,

cause my older

daughter

taught colton

how to and he

has been doing

it ever since

over and over

and over

>

>________________________________

> From:

R.

Tucker <

No virus

found in this message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database: 2425/4976 - Release Date:

05/03/12

May 4, 2012

Okay. I really appreciate all the help and advice for everyone, It is really great! To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012 7:15 PM Subject: Re: I give up......

A bad mother wouldn't worry as much as you do. And, you need the break too! If you worry about spending time with him, maybe after things have calmed down, you could hang out in his room for part of the time he is in there. Just being in the same room might feel good? I think it is just like our older children chilling out in their rooms, my 9 year old loves to be in his room completely under the covers. I let him spend the time he needs like that. Like said, if he is happy and safe then you are doing things right. Be easy on yourself.Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Sender: autism-aspergers

Date: Thu, 3 May 2012 16:09:54 -0700To: autism-aspergers <autism-aspergers >ReplyTo: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: I give up......

Agreed! ;)Sent from my iPhone

We all need somewhere to hide sometimes. If he is happy, how can it

possibly make you a bad mother?

Well I don't leave him in there for a long time

but like in the mornings when he wakes up if you go in

there to get him he wants nothin to do with you. So I

always just walk out and leave him in there to play

for about an hour and come back to see if he's ready

to come out and some times he is and sometimes he

isn't. And periodically during the day if he is really

stimming way to much or having a lot of meltdowns I

will put him in there and he immediately is happy. and

I'll leave him in there for about an hour and come

check on him to see if he's ready to come out. His bed

has absolutely nothing in it except a sheet. Which is

blue. For the most part he is outside of his crib, but

he seems to be so much happier in his crib but I don't

like putting him in there cause then I feel like a bad

mom. But that is where he is happy.

From:

Muehleisen Family

To:

autism-aspergers

Sent:

Thursday, May 3, 2012 12:03 AM

Subject:

Re: I give up......

What about a small tent that he

could play quietly in. It would

give him the enclosed feeling he

needs and he could come and go as

he wanted to. I'd get one that's

not too big and not colorful

(maybe a dark blue, not red). Put

it in a room that you want him

in. Little or no noise would be

best at first. If you get one that

you can connect to others via a

tube, you would be able to add to

it when he gets older. The problem

might be the super bight colors.

Is is his crib colorful?

http://www.amazon.com/Pacific-Play-Tents-Safari-Tunnel/dp/B00083DD4O/ref=sr_1_3?s=toys-and-games & ie=UTF8 & qid=1336017388 & sr=1-3

To begin with, maybe find a

large box. See if he will pay in

that.

That would be more socially

acceptable that keeping him in the

bed. I completely understand and

agree with you. He needs to be

able to live his life outside of

his crib but if he is happy in his

bed then let him be in his

crib...but it needs to be limited

so he can grow. However, if you

tell the drs that you keep him in

his bed for extended periods, CPS

might get involved. None of those

people understand so it could be

bad.

ï»¿

Only

two defining forces have ever

offered to die for you;

Jesus

Christ and the American

Soldier.

One

died for your soul; the other

for your freedom.

-------Original

Message-------

From: Lori

Yurtin

Date:

5/1/2012 12:25:39 PM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject:

Re: I give

up......

Poor Colton. The world is

just too much for him. Sensory

overload. That is why he is

happy in his crib all alone.

Sent from my iPhone

On May 1, 2012, at 12:14 PM,

sara degeer

wrote:

Wow, Well Colton has

been getting worse with

the head banging. Just

in 3 weeks he's had 2

black eyes and the giant

knot on his forehead.

I'm so worried about him

getting seriously

injured because I know

he's not. I really worry

about his face and his

teeth. His teeth are so

perfect. Colton doesn't

chew his tongue but he

sucks on it. I

personally because of my

anxiety I chew the

inside of my mouth to

the point that it

bleeds. I hate when I

get like that. Since

this past weekend Colton

has been absolutely

awful. He has been in

bed for almost 2 days

because every time I let

him out he is so violent

and just walks around

screaming and crying.

But when he's in his

crib all alone he's all

smiles. But he's happy,

I don't know what to do.

From:

"sandradaniels2001@..."

To:

autism-aspergers

Sent:

Monday, April 30,

2012 8:44 AM

Subject:

Re:

I give up......

May 4, 2012

Yeah, I can't argue there. Your right! To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012 7:36 PM Subject: Re: I give up......