Re: Oprah/Dr. Phil: Fighting the Fat War

June 12, 2002

I love Dr. Phil. That was a great show. I don't manage to watch Oprah very often

either, but I love to catch it when Dr. Phil is on. The guy is a riot. He seems

to say exactly what you DON'T want to hear! It's certainly tough to come up with

any excuses after listening to him for an hour.

There are video clips for that show on her website:

http://oprah.com/tows/pastshows/tows_past_20010130.jhtml

June 12, 2002

In a message dated 6/12/2002 2:06:03 AM Eastern Standard Time,

skwigg@... writes:

> love Dr. Phil. That was a great show

I watched part of it and found myself agreeing with everything he said. We

have definite food issues in my family, stemming from a loveless

emotionally-abusive childhood. My older sister was anoxeric for years and she

" taught " her two daughters to throw up after large meals like Thanksgiving,

etc. (True story). I

June 12, 2002

In a message dated 6/12/2002 2:06:03 AM Eastern Standard Time,

skwigg@... writes:

> love Dr. Phil. That was a great show

Continued....I was anorexic also for many years...ate only once a day and

exercised three hours or more 7 days a week. My younger sister is obese and

her daughters are all obese. It is so sad...she has taken them for years to a

" fat doctor " who gives them all diet pills. This has gone on for years and

all are still fat. The youngest daughter has been and out of rehab's since

she was 15 (4 years ago). She has been arrested for trying to fill a forged

perscription for xanax. Of all the sisters, I am the only one who has been

through therapy and who (I feel) has a damn good understanding of the food

issues that we carry as baggage. I can truthfully say that BFL has reeduc

June 12, 2002

In a message dated 6/12/2002 2:06:03 AM Eastern Standard Time,

skwigg@... writes:

> love Dr. Phil. That was a great show

YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO HATE ME FOR HITTING THE SEND BUTTON TOO SOON ALL THE

TIME...anyway, BFL has reeducated me as to food consumption. I keep telling

my younger sister and my nieces all about it but they haven't seemed

interested. They still buy into the fantasy that some pill somewhere will

make them thin. a

June 12, 2002

Hi Dani,

I've never seen Oprah, but she sounds WONDERFUL, and Dr. Phil sounds

great.

I'd just like to share some of the " payoffs " and other neurotic reasons for my

overweight/overeating (since I have put words to this and worked on this,

some weight has fallen off, and I am alot more willing to commit to goals etc.)

Of course, this is just me, so it will only be an example of what you might

discover (the demons can be very tough to face, but I promise you, it is even

harder to live with them, so it's worth it ))

FAT as protection

- when I was sixteen I got raped. In the following months I gained alot of

weight. If I wasn't attractive, then I wouldn't get negative attention. Maybe I

could even feel invisible.

- when I was a kid my dad was kind of violent. He would yell, and curse, and

smash furniture. He didn't ever hit us. But I was still afraid. I decided to eat

as much as him so that I would become big and strong.

FAT as an excuse

- Since all my failures were due to my being fat, then I didn't have to look at

the actual failures or more likely, the NON action... not doing things, not

acting, not making choices, not standing up for myself. " It won't change

anything, anyway... I'm fat and ugly and nobody loves me "

- Being fat allowed me to feel sorry for myself. What in all earth did feeling

sorry for myself give me? Well, the right to be sad, the right to feel like my

life

should have been better. It goes on and on.

EATING

- I discovered, one day, after a lot of meditating, that I want to eat because

I'm afraid that I'll feel deprived. I talked to my mom, and she told me about

the first months of my life. They were pretty chaotic, and she wasn't able to

give me the attention a baby usually needs. She may well have " missed

meals " , and I, as a baby, started overeating when I was given the chance...

to store up for future hunger.

- I also eat for comfort. When I feel abandoned or lonely or defeated... FOOD

seems to be the answer.

- I eat to celebrate.

There is more. It's layer upon layer upon layer...

The key question seems to be: What is the emotional payoff? What happens

when I do this? What does that allow me to do or feel? why would I want to

feel that?

Are there feelings that I wasn't allowed to express (sadness, anger)?

There is also a very large part of self-esteem and self-confidence (I pretty

much define self-esteem as the positive emotions of BEING who I am, while I

put self-confidence down as DOING. Once again - that's just me, and I only do

it because I feel a need to define things).

I discovered that I depend on OTHER PEOPLE's opinion of me to define me,

their approval to validate my self worth. What they thought about what I did,

said, felt, thought... MATTERED.

Another discovery was that for many girls our self esteem has to do with how

we perceive our appearance. If we feel pretty, we are more confident and

feel better about ourselves.

Guys seem to have it easier. They depend more on their capabilities for self

esteem. Good at soccor? Good at making people laugh? Good at math?

There is an excellent book about this called " schoolgirl "

Anyway... all the work to figure out emotional payoff REALLY HAS HELPED. It

really is worth it.

Over the last few months I have started doing what I love. Making choices for

myself, not taking responsibility for other people's feelings or choices. I no

longer depend on what other people think about me to decide whether I'm

worthy or not.

In short, I've probably quit doing what I don't want to do, and started doing

what I like doing (learning mandarin chinese and hawaiian.. going for a steam

bath, quitting my job that was killing me slowly, cooking up a storm with

veggies and spices).

It's hard to explain like this... but I did want to share, in case any of what I

mention can be of help to you.

Love,

Katrina

June 12, 2002

I don't get the chance to watch Opra or Dr. Phil but recently People

magazine had a cover story on " how the stars stay trim " or something

like that. I read with interest hoping that at least one of them used

BFL but none of them did. I must say that surprised me a lot because

BFL is the only thing I have found to transform one's body to the

extent that it claims. But then again, many of those stars are thin

but none too buff so there's my answer. What I want to know is what

plan Janet uses. She's more buff than any of them so what's

her secret?

Stasia

June 12, 2002

Dani, I LOVE Dr Phil, and am a big Oprah fan too (even though I used

her name in vain in a previous post). I like Phil because I, too,

believe we cannot go forward in our lives if we allow ourselves to

always be victims. When you are a victim you have no controle.

The one thing that bothered me is that he was asking us to identify

the emotional reasons we are over weight, but not telling us what to

do with them once we see them. I have known for a long time the

reasons behind my problem. I just am not sure how to get around them

permanently.

Alys

June 12, 2002

Katarina,

Thank you for your post. It shows that you are a women in touch with

herself. An inspiration to us all.

Alys

June 12, 2002

Not having a TV, the one recent time that I've seen Oprah was while I was at

a Doctor appointment. For 20 minutes I listened (since I was unable to focus

on my book) to very obese women talk about how they are unable to control the

food they eat. I listened to the " I'm fat and it's not my fault. I have no

control of what goes into my mouth. " And, I'm sorry since I know this will

offend half the posting population if not more, but that's a load of BS. If

you truly cannot control your actions (which include eating), you need to

seek professional (not Oprah) help. People plead insanity in murder cases

since they are unable to control their actions.

It just really pisses me off. I'm fat because I made the choice to eat

poorly and not exercise. I think the only way people can make a successful

lifestyle change is if they actually own up and take responsibility for their

actions. I am so sick of the " oh woe am I.. have pity on me since I can't

control myself " culture that is so prevalent these days.

Grrrr.

Sorry for the rant

Serenity

June 12, 2002

I just have to make a comment on the Janet

thing. First of all I think she is absolutely

gorgeous and I think she is a great performer, I have

admired her for many years (so has my husband, he

thinks she is to die for ;-)

ANYWAYS....from what I have seen of her she has always

seemed to struggle with her weight, she would go up

and down being thin and then getting a little chubby

(in hollywoods standards that is). Well recently she

has just been in FANTASTIC shape, she has abs any

woman would kill for. I wanted to know how she did it

and exactly how much work she had to put into getting

those rock hard abs. Well to my dissapointment I have

heard something that made me rather sad, those abs are

not a product of her own hard work and dedication, she

had surgery to get them to look that way. I never

knew there was such a thing, but I guess so, I should

have known they have surgery reconstructive surgery

for EVERYTHING now a days. I guess it just

dissapointed me because I thought it was something she

did on her own, I guess all of hollywood is the same,

they have the money for it why sweat and work hard

when you can pay to look great.

Just my two sense worth, not that anyone asked.

--- s_bachrach <s_bachrach@...> wrote:

> I don't get the chance to watch Opra or Dr. Phil but

> recently People

> magazine had a cover story on " how the stars stay

> trim " or something

> like that. I read with interest hoping that at least

> one of them used

> BFL but none of them did. I must say that surprised

> me a lot because

> BFL is the only thing I have found to transform

> one's body to the

> extent that it claims. But then again, many of those

> stars are thin

> but none too buff so there's my answer. What I want

> to know is what

> plan Janet uses. She's more buff than any of

> them so what's

> her secret?

>

> Stasia

>

__________________________________________________

June 12, 2002

Thank you for your support!!!!!!!!!

I'm working hard at fixing myself up, and it is sooooo rewarding.

Now I want everyone else to do it, too *LOL*

All I can do is share my thoughts and my successes.

Hugs,

Katrina

> Katarina,

>

> Thank you for your post. It shows that you are a women in touch with

> herself. An inspiration to us all.

>

> Alys

June 12, 2002

I haven't heard Dr. Phil utter a word that wasn't totally 100% dead-

on-balls accurate. He da man.

I think this is true. When I eat, it's out of boredom usually, or so

I think. It's also triggered by stresses, I have alot of emotional

issues from growing up and all that jazz...don't we all?

Someone asked WHAT to do with your problems once you've identified

them. I think each problem is so unique that you truly need to speak

with a counselor or someone to determine that.

I got over alot of things with my father by writing him a letter.

Did it change how he acted? No. But I was heard and found out a lot

about him and myself. It changed our relationship and I was able to

let go of alot of anger and hurt feelings that were roadblocks to any

success I might have.

So, that's just one way. Has it helped my eating? Not really. I

don't think I've SOLVED that problem, but I've definitely changed my

actions. I think educating yourself as much as possible about food

is key here. That way, you make an EDUCATED DECISION about every

morsel you put in your mouth. You can't make the excuse of

ignorance...removes that for you.

That's all I have to say. Great topic.

Astra

June 12, 2002

> I think the only way people can make a successful

> lifestyle change is if they actually own up and take responsibility for their

> actions. I am so sick of the " oh woe am I.. have pity on me since I can't

> control myself " culture that is so prevalent these days.

> Grrrr.

Serenity, THAT IS SOOOO TRUE!

once you really take responsibility for your own condition and situation YOU

are in charge!

Imagine the empowerment )

And I've never seen Oprah or Doc Phil, but it seemed to me that Phil was

saying exactly what you said: If you don't own up to your own part in your

situation, you'll never budge an inch!

Katrina

June 12, 2002

In a message dated 6/12/2002 12:33:28 PM Eastern Standard Time,

ribar@... writes:

> JUST when I was going to start C2. Now ordinarily this would be my perfect

> excuse to also go back to my old eating habits - but I haven't!!! BFL

> RULES!!!

>

Excellent, Rita! What a major accomplishment! When do you think you'll be

able to resume working out? a

June 12, 2002

k4ina wrote:

> > I think the only way people can make a successful

> > lifestyle change is if they actually own up and take responsibility for

their

> > actions. I am so sick of the " oh woe am I.. have pity on me since I can't

> > control myself " culture that is so prevalent these days.

> > Grrrr.

>

> Serenity, THAT IS SOOOO TRUE!

>

> once you really take responsibility for your own condition and situation YOU

> are in charge!

>

> Imagine the empowerment )

>

> And I've never seen Oprah or Doc Phil, but it seemed to me that Phil was

> saying exactly what you said: If you don't own up to your own part in your

> situation, you'll never budge an inch!

>

> Katrina

*smile* Maybe he came on later on in that episode.. but I had already gone to

see

the doc by that point so I'll never know.

Serenity!

June 12, 2002

I think for the most part he has good points to make ... but I'll bet the people

out there with severe thyroid (or other health issues which affect weight)

problems took issue with his remarks!

I enjoy Dr. Phil and was sorry I missed yesterday's show. I don't watch Oprah

every day but I do tune in on Tuesdays to see what his topic will be.

Oprah/Dr. Phil: Fighting the Fat War

I don't know if any of you watch Oprah. I don't watch her show

regularly, but I'm a big fan. I happened to be watching today, and

she had Dr. Phil McGraw, a psychologist, on. The topic was weight

issues, specifically being overweight. Dr. Phil is really into

the " no one is a victim " mantra. The gist of what he said is that

being overweight carries with it a " payoff, " and that,

subconsciously, overweight people are choosing to stay heavy because

they get something from it.

According to him, we overeat for a reason; something triggers our

bingeing, and the cycle is perpetuated by the guilt we feel when we

eat, so we turn to food once again for comfort. He called this

the " downward spiral of food addiction. " He thinks too many people

utilize excuses such as " I have a slow metabolism " or " Everyone in my

family is overweight " in order to justify their being overweight.

He also stated that if you don't understand the reason for your

overeating you will never permanently lose weight. In other words,

you can start by changing the behavior, but you have to eventually

change the underlying causes of the behavior. You have to deal with

the emotional issues of your overeating by asking yourself, " What am

I getting by keeping this weight on? If I'm so unhappy about being

fat, why don't I do something about it? Why do I continue making

excuses for myself? " Dr. Phil claims that no matter how much you

deny it, you're somehow hiding behind your weight; there must be a

payoff, or you wouldn't engage in the behavior.

Finally, he stressed that there is no magic diet, potion or pill that

will help you lose weight, and that it is much more significant to

focus on your weight two years from now than two weeks from now. In

other words, even if you lose weight quickly, you're bound to gain it

back if you don't understand WHY you put on the pounds in the first

place. You must have a set of strategies in place that will prevent

your gaining the weight back.

It was a fascinating show and discussion. I'd love to hear all your

input.

Dani

June 12, 2002

What a shame a ... I was a diet pill addict for almost 30 years - not that

it helped at ALL ... but how I didn't make myself really sick between diet pills

and water pills I have no idea - just lucky I guess. Oddly enough what got me

off the diet pills was the Atkins Diet! I had just decided I would give it a

try and weaned myself off the diet pills and have never taken another one - that

was 3 years ago - I did lose a lot of weight but of course as soon as I hit my

" goal " I yoyo'd right back up.

I was actually going to start again early in January this year but I went to the

doctor and she told me because of some gout-like symptons I had that I had to

start lessening my fat intake. AND stop the GD water pills!

By then a friend had started talking to me (on line) about BFL ... she kept

telling me what a great book it was ... motivational ... and that she had

started and loved it ... I finally got the book and will always be thankful to

her for bringing this into my life.

One way I KNOW it is working that I hurt my back just at the end of my Challenge

1. I was told by a doctor and now a physical therapist I had to STOP all my

workouts for a while. JUST when I was going to start C2. Now ordinarily this

would be my perfect excuse to also go back to my old eating habits - but I

haven't!!! BFL RULES!!!

Rita

Re: Oprah/Dr. Phil: Fighting the Fat War

In a message dated 6/12/2002 2:06:03 AM Eastern Standard Time,

skwigg@... writes:

> love Dr. Phil. That was a great show

YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO HATE ME FOR HITTING THE SEND BUTTON TOO SOON ALL THE

TIME...anyway, BFL has reeducated me as to food consumption. I keep telling

my younger sister and my nieces all about it but they haven't seemed

interested. They still buy into the fantasy that some pill somewhere will

make them thin. a

June 12, 2002

She probably rehearses several hours a day!

Re: Oprah/Dr. Phil: Fighting the Fat War

I don't get the chance to watch Opra or Dr. Phil but recently People

magazine had a cover story on " how the stars stay trim " or something

like that. I read with interest hoping that at least one of them used

BFL but none of them did. I must say that surprised me a lot because

BFL is the only thing I have found to transform one's body to the

extent that it claims. But then again, many of those stars are thin

but none too buff so there's my answer. What I want to know is what

plan Janet uses. She's more buff than any of them so what's

her secret?

Stasia

June 12, 2002

Hi Dani,

I have heard Dr. Phil discourse on this subject a number of times. It's funny -

at 225 lbs I felt he was just a wee bit unfeeling and hard on " large " people.

Now, at 164 lbs, I totally agree with everything he says. I have learned that

nearly everything to do with ME is in MY power to control. I have learned that

excuses of bad genes, poor metabolism, and stress are simply excuses. I have

learned that I can change my body in the midst of all of these odds.

Dr. Phil seems to be one of those people that you either love or hate. I

personnally like his no nonsense / common sense approach and agree with most of

his work.

Park