Guest guest Posted May 29, 2000 Report Share Posted May 29, 2000 Sara, I assume the agency knows, because I have to sign a form every time she does show up. But, I'm giving my case worker a call tomorrow. Of all people, a TA who works with autistic kids should know they need consistency. Another thing I noticed lately (with that 20/20 hindsight) is that the last time I left with the kids, cried and held his arms out to me like he didn't want me to go. He's a smart 11 month old, and I guess he feels being mean to his brother. Loriann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2000 Report Share Posted May 29, 2000 That could very well explain why is lashing out. He doesn't hit when I'm around, but I don't yell at him. He knows when someone has no patience with him. He likes her as a friend, when I'm around. I think maybe that's all it's going to be from now on......no more baby sitting. Loriann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2000 Report Share Posted May 29, 2000 Loriann,I would think 14 is just too young,to cope with this and she probably is exaggerating and God knows what she is telling her friends,and you are nt really getting any respite is causing you more hassle than the kids,buy her a present and tell her you are nt going out for a while and find some one more mature.I have the same problem Nicky gets respite money but finding someone to do the respite is hard Pat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2000 Report Share Posted May 29, 2000 Terrible situation to be in. It has been my personal experience that more than one " funny feeling " or situation that " doesn't match " is a big clue that you are right. Go with your gut. It is awful to have to give up such a semingly reliable lifeline, but remember you do have another apparently better option. As far as hurting her feelings, I would simply tell her the truth, in a positive way. Perhaps something like, " You have been so good to us, helping us with the kids, and I really appreciate it. But it seems that we no longer fit together because my experiences with my children are different from what you are telling me your experiences are. People, especially kids ( sidebar, remember she still is a kid too, so who knows what is happening with her?) go through changes where they don't match up for awhile, then sometimes they match up again in the future when they grow and change again. So we have decided to hire a Mom with several children who might match up better for now. Who knows? Perhaps in the the future our mutual needs will change again and match up again. When that happens, I will be delighted. Until then, I hope you will feel free to come visit us because I know that I and the kids will miss you. " That is just off the top of my head and probably needs work, but it is all I can have time for right now. Hope it helps. ine ---------- > From: Lori <hsmyangel@...> > egroups; autie-friendsegroups > Subject: Need advice > Date: Sunday, May 28, 2000 1:49 PM > > I need some advice. First let me give some background. When we got approval for respite dollars (they reimburse us $100 a month at $5.15 an hour), we were told we had to find our own worker. The only one at the time we could find was a youth from our church. She's 14 now, was almost 13 when we started using her. She's been through CPR and the Military's baby sitting course. A while back we had a neighbor tell us that she saw (the teenager) walking down to the mini-mart and that she was being very mean to him. I dismissed it as I knew pretty well and it didn't sound like her, and the neighbor had a reputation for being dramatic and possibly misinterpreted ( said that wanted to run a Little Tykes ride-in car into the newspaper stand and she wasn't letting him, so he was screaming no.) I wrote about this to this list, in case anyone remembers. > > had been watching in Sunday school. She had gotten to where she was bringing him down to me every Sunday (I'm the " teacher " for bed babies - birth to 18 months). I've told her she can't bring him to me, because it becomes a reward for bad behavior. It's much more fun to play with his brother than have to participate in Sunday school. Then we got a TA who was supposed to go with him to SS and children's church. Well, today the TA just didn't show up. She wasn't there when I dropped him off in his room, so DH stayed for a while. I was thinking out loud in the bed babies room ( was there) and wondered if the TA showed up. She volunteered to go peek in the window and see. She came back with in tow. She said he was under the table, and the teacher was letting him stay under there instead of dealing with it. All the girls had their legs up in their chairs with their dresses pulled down to cover their knees. Bottom line, he was back with me. volunteered to watch him with the bently) grabbed my face, and gave me an open-mouth kiss on the cheek and said, that. Meaning that's what he had done to her. He didn't want to talk about it, but he was calm and listening to me. I find it so hard to believe that he could be such a terror and then just 20 minutes later be calm as pie. I'm beginning to think maybe is either exaggerating, or just out right making it up, or instigating. She watches both kids here, the last time was Friday. She baked cookies (without clearing it with us and left a HUGE mess that I had to clean up when I got home), plus left Cheerios spread all over the floor where they had been knocked off the table, left puke in 's room where he had gotten sick (said she doesn't do puke). Basically, I can't go out and trust that my child is being taken care of. The only reason I can think of that he would make such a mess and do things li's said she will watch him and his brother here, instead of her house because she has 3 kids of her own and 5 is a little too much, but she is willing to watch them, maybe bring her 5 year old over for to play with (her husband would have their 2 smaller ones). How do I tell without accusing her of something? I don't know anything for sure. I was thinking of telling her that we're not going to use her anymore because has put her in that " friend " box, and therefore doesn't want to listen to her. But if she's lying, then is going to think I'm taking her word over his. He already acts a little like that now. > > Thanks for listening to me rant. This upset me so much this morning, I was telling Dh I wanted to go home in August to start the school year in our new home (we're not scheduled to leave until March, 2001). He would be a geographical bachelor. He says he won't get the housing allowance to send to us because it would be by choice. I said I could get my psychiatrist to say that I need to be home near my support system (my in-laws are great). I'm under so much stress with homeschooling, and then having a respite worker tell me EVERYTHING that he did that was bad EVERY TIME she watches him, that I'm having 2-3 migraines a WEEK. I've already given notice that I'm quitting as the teacher of bed babies, and I'll just go with him to his Sunday school class. If I can teach him through the week, I guess I can teach him during Sunday school. > > Give me some suggestions, PLEASE! > > > Loriann > Wife to Dewight > Mom to , 10 years old, DS-ASD, ADHD, ODD > And , 11 months old > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2000 Report Share Posted May 29, 2000 IMO - the first thing is tell the 13 yo that another arrangement will be made because " seems to be too difficult for her. " Tell that you will find a " more grownup person " to leave him with. If the neighbor will do it - take her. I know how difficult it is to find care - especially respite. If the TSS worker isn't showing up - does the agency that supplies her aware?? Are your funds still paying them?? Request another worker. Another resource I am just learning is one of the Senior Citizens Clubs. There are members in some of these clubs who are my age (over 55) and quite able to manage our little darlings. I have made a contact for my new house with one of the Centers and will start interviewing in June. Sara >>> hsmyangel@... - 05/28/0 4:49 PM >>> I need some advice. First let me give some background. When we got approval for respite dollars (they reimburse us $100 a month at $5.15 an hour), we were told we had to find our own worker. The only one at the time we could find was a youth from our church. She's 14 now, was almost 13 when we started using her. She's been through CPR and the Military's baby sitting course. A while back we had a neighbor tell us that she saw (the teenager) walking down to the mini-mart and that she was being very mean to him. I dismissed it as I knew pretty well and it didn't sound like her, and the neighbor had a reputation for being dramatic and possibly misinterpreted ( said that wanted to run a Little Tykes ride-in car into the newspaper stand and she wasn't letting him, so he was screaming no.) I wrote about this to this list, in case anyone remembers. had been watching in Sunday school. She had gotten to where she was bringing him down to me every Sunday (I'm the " teacher " for bed babies - birth to 18 months). I've told her she can't bring him to me, because it becomes a reward for bad behavior. It's much more fun to play with his brother than have to participate in Sunday school. Then we got a TA who was supposed to go with him to SS and children's church. Well, today the TA just didn't show up. She wasn't there when I dropped him off in his room, so DH stayed for a while. I was thinking out loud in the bed babies room ( was there) and wondered if the TA showed up. She volunteered to go peek in the window and see. She came back with in tow. She said he was under the table, and the teacher was letting him stay under there instead of dealing with it. All the girls had their legs up in their chairs with their dresses pulled down to cover their knees. Bottom line, he was back with me. volunteered to watch him with the bed babies during services, since he was " having a bad day. " About 15 minutes into the services, she brings him up to the sanctuary and opens the door to get our attention. I made DH go see what was wrong. said he was being bad, biting, hitting, and not listening. DH said was almost in tears he was so upset. DH took him down to play with the 3 year olds (which is where had moved because she said ** got kicked out of the bed babies by the people working in there). When DH went to get him after services, met him with, this boy needs a big spanking when you get home. I tried to have a talk with , and he kept saying me good boy, me good boy. When I brought up that he bit her, he (semi-gently) grabbed my face, and gave me an open-mouth kiss on the cheek and said, that. Meaning that's what he had done to her. He didn't want to talk about it, but he was calm and listening to me. I find it so hard to believe that he could be such a terror and then just 20 minutes later be calm as pie. I'm beginning to think maybe is either exaggerating, or just out right making it up, or instigating. She watches both kids here, the last time was Friday. She baked cookies (without clearing it with us and left a HUGE mess that I had to clean up when I got home), plus left Cheerios spread all over the floor where they had been knocked off the table, left puke in 's room where he had gotten sick (said she doesn't do puke). Basically, I can't go out and trust that my child is being taken care of. The only reason I can think of that he would make such a mess and do things like that is to get attention, like only pays attention to (she likes babies better). My problem is, how do I deal with this? The only other person who is willing to watch for respite is our neighbor. She's said she will watch him and his brother here, instead of her house because she has 3 kids of her own and 5 is a little too much, but she is willing to watch them, maybe bring her 5 year old over for to play with (her husband would have their 2 smaller ones). How do I tell without accusing her of something? I don't know anything for sure. I was thinking of telling her that we're not going to use her anymore because has put her in that " friend " box, and therefore doesn't want to listen to her. But if she's lying, then is going to think I'm taking her word over his. He already acts a little like that now. Thanks for listening to me rant. This upset me so much this morning, I was telling Dh I wanted to go home in August to start the school year in our new home (we're not scheduled to leave until March, 2001). He would be a geographical bachelor. He says he won't get the housing allowance to send to us because it would be by choice. I said I could get my psychiatrist to say that I need to be home near my support system (my in-laws are great). I'm under so much stress with homeschooling, and then having a respite worker tell me EVERYTHING that he did that was bad EVERY TIME she watches him, that I'm having 2-3 migraines a WEEK. I've already given notice that I'm quitting as the teacher of bed babies, and I'll just go with him to his Sunday school class. If I can teach him through the week, I guess I can teach him during Sunday school. Give me some suggestions, PLEASE! Loriann Wife to Dewight Mom to , 10 years old, DS-ASD, ADHD, ODD And , 11 months old Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2000 Report Share Posted May 29, 2000 It could just be that he feels the anger and harshness and is reacting to that. One thing that we tell everyone who cares for Elie is that he responds with GREAT VIGOR (as in he will hit and hard) if someone shouts at him! Sara >>> hsmyangel@... - 05/29/0 4:45 AM >>> Sara, I assume the agency knows, because I have to sign a form every time she does show up. But, I'm giving my case worker a call tomorrow. Of all people, a TA who works with autistic kids should know they need consistency. Another thing I noticed lately (with that 20/20 hindsight) is that the last time I left with the kids, cried and held his arms out to me like he didn't want me to go. He's a smart 11 month old, and I guess he feels being mean to his brother. Loriann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2000 Report Share Posted May 30, 2000 Loriann, Just a quick note right now, but I think a simple " It is not working out any more for you to be watching and Derrick " is sufficient. A 14 year old will probably not question anyway, but if she does, you can tell her that she is not able to properly watch him as he gets older, and bigger. You need a much older person. That's it. Period. You dont' owe her a life long job. She may be looking for an out too. Just My humble opinion. S ________________________________________________________________ YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET! Juno now offers FREE Internet Access! Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2000 Report Share Posted October 11, 2000 , As has been mentioned recently, many of us know what it is like to be on medication...it impacts the way you generally perform. I'm on 10 mg of Paxil daily and find that some mornings it is very difficult to get up for work. I feel that it is totally reasonable to ask for more time. What is the point of the assignment...to learn or to meet a deadline. While I realize that part of being in school is learning to meet deadlines, we need to be sure that we advocate for accommodations for our children when the tasks at hand are likely to be highly anxiety- provoking. You son will have other opportunities to work on the skills required to meet deadlines and will be better able to handle them when the medications are adjusted and symptoms lessened. My daughter has been having a difficult time this year with anxiety at school. I met with the school counselor today and we have decided to have " home instruction " for two classes and a reduced schedule. This will be written into a 504 plan. The school is providing all of this for our daughter. The counselor's comment was, " We need to do anything and everything we can to support your daughter's educational needs. We feel that a reduced schedule and home instruction would be very helpful to reduce her anxiety and at the same time help her to be successful. " I was blown away. It is always good to start with the least intrusive options (like working directly with the teacher). But if that doesn't work, I would encourage you to take full advantage of all that the law requires. Your son deserves " anything and everything " to support him in being successful in school! Good luck. And don't be afraid to stand up for him. I know you will! Gwen in Oregon > Can I ask for some quick advice or opinions before my parent/teacher conference in the morning? My son, Ian,(9) has been titrating down off of Wellbutrin for weeks and titrating up on Adderall to try to address some of the ADHD problems he has (lack of concentration, disorganization, etc.). He is also on 5 mg of Prozac to help take the edge off of irritability. The main changes I have noticed so far are increased moodiness, tiredness, and slow motion on tasks like getting out of bed, getting dressed, etc. > O.K., so my question is - is it unreasonable to ask the teacher to excuse him from a very large at-home project due on Oct. 18? Of course, he didn't get home with the assignment for several weeks and has only just begun to read about the subject. We have already had a great deal of tension about just sitting down to look at the material. I foresee a week of heck and late nights to force this project with Dad and I doing most of the organization. Ian doesn't have an IEP or a 504 because he's an A student in the gifted program. The school feels that he is meeting expectations (theirs, not mine) and doesn't need any formal accommodations. So far, I have just been working with his teachers on modifications. > I feel like he is under enough physical and emotional stress right now with the meds change. He has also just started with a new therapist. Am I asking too much or being too lenient? Ian says that this project is a major part of his social studies grade. If so, why is it strictly an at-home project? > Any advice or opinions would be appreciated! > Thanks, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2000 Report Share Posted October 11, 2000 Dea , It really gets my goat when I hear about schools saying that because a student is getting good grades they don't need accomodations. That's what they told us when we wanted help for . They said the only place they could put him was with the special ed class and he wasn't in need of it. What you need are accomodations for your child's mental well-being. And if that means not having to do an overly long or complicated assignment, I think they should allow the exception! had one thoughtful teacher in high school who allowed him to tell her about the history topic he was researching. She could tell from the wealth of detail that he had actually done a considerable amount of reading and work. It was just that at that time he was very anxious about putting things down on paper because they had to be " better than good " . So because of her willingness to make allowances for his disorder, he was able to get a good grade for the class. Other teachers were not as flexible and saw no reason to allow him any leeway because of his disorder. One actually told us " My son was ill and we didn't ask for any help for him " . My thought at that time was " I feel sorry for him, then. " so go ahead and tell them that the allowances you need for your child are for his mental well-being, not just to help him get a good grade! Take care, Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2000 Report Share Posted October 12, 2000 Hi : You are asking a lot of good questions that I hope you will raise with Ian's teachers. We have sometimes found that the GT teachers are less sympathetic about giving accommodations and we often placate them with telling them we are very committed to Steve's academic advancement. The best way we have gotten through to the teachers is by taking Steve's psychologist or CBT therapist along to meetings. That way we have avoided seeming overly protective parents and it is easier for the teachers to move off their positions based on the advice of another professional. Perhaps you can also find a middle ground between not doing the assignment and the parents doing it to meet the short deadline. More time to complete it, doing a smaller assignment, or just parts of it, might be compromises that will work. BTW, Steve is also in the gifted program and he is a 504 student. I know too he is not the only one. The 504 gives us more clout in asking for accommodations and here also gives us access to financial support for his treatments. If you are finding that an in-school response is not providing Ian with the support he needs I suggest you pursue the 504 option and get help from a parent advocate to make this happen if you run into any roadblocks. Good luck, please keep us posted about the meeting. Take care, aloha, Kathy (H) kathyh@... At 07:09 PM 10/11/2000 -0500, you wrote: Can I ask for some quick advice or opinions before my parent/teacher conference in the morning? My son, Ian,(9) has been titrating down off of Wellbutrin for weeks and titrating up on Adderall to try to address some of the ADHD problems he has (lack of concentration, disorganization, etc.). He is also on 5 mg of Prozac to help take the edge off of irritability. The main changes I have noticed so far are increased moodiness, tiredness, and slow motion on tasks like getting out of bed, getting dressed, etc. O.K., so my question is - is it unreasonable to ask the teacher to excuse him from a very large at-home project due on Oct. 18? Of course, he didn't get home with the assignment for several weeks and has only just begun to read about the subject. We have already had a great deal of tension about just sitting down to look at the material. I foresee a week of heck and late nights to force this project with Dad and I doing most of the organization. Ian doesn't have an IEP or a 504 because he's an A student in the gifted program. The school feels that he is meeting expectations (theirs, not mine) and doesn't need any formal accommodations. So far, I have just been working with his teachers on modifications. I feel like he is under enough physical and emotional stress right now with the meds change. He has also just started with a new therapist. Am I asking too much or being too lenient? Ian says that this project is a major part of his social studies grade. If so, why is it strictly an at-home project? Any advice or opinions would be appreciated! Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2001 Report Share Posted February 22, 2001 Thanks Penny, I will let you know if I hear of anyone having there soap go bad. I have only been wraping with saran wrap because I don't sell. Plus I wait at least 6 weeks before wraping, so it is really dry. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2001 Report Share Posted February 22, 2001 Thanks Deb for the advice./ I will continue to check with other members. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2001 Report Share Posted February 22, 2001 Hi Kathy: The majority of the soaps I make are with milk, I don't use a preservative and have yet for a bar to spoil. You might get spoilage if you shrink wrap it to where it can't breath is the only thing I can think of. Penny > I have been doing my CP soaps with milk lately instead of water, I have > asked several people if the milk would spoil, and everyone says No. But > someone from another group this morning said I should be adding benzoin. I > have no idea what that is, and please tell me I don' t need it. If my soap > is going to go bad, I have a lot of baths to get in. Thanks Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2001 Report Share Posted February 22, 2001 To be honest-I have only made my CP with milk once(my gms with mint) but I stay away from sealing mine with any kind of non-breathable material as I have seen on so many posts for so many years on not sealing CP soap. I use my paper cigar bands. I have seen lots of gms soapers not use preservatives. Terry on our list is a gms gal and could probably give you a good answer but I haven't seen her posts lately, maybe Teri(list mom;D ) can e-mail her for ya? Deb Re: Need advice > Hi Kathy: > > The majority of the soaps I make are with milk, I don't use a preservative > and have yet for a bar to spoil. You might get spoilage if you shrink wrap > it to where it can't breath is the only thing I can think of. > > Penny > > > > I have been doing my CP soaps with milk lately instead of water, I have > > asked several people if the milk would spoil, and everyone says No. > But > > someone from another group this morning said I should be adding benzoin. > I > > have no idea what that is, and please tell me I don' t need it. If my > soap > > is going to go bad, I have a lot of baths to get in. Thanks Kathy > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2001 Report Share Posted February 22, 2001 oh, also benzoin is a big skin sensitizer to some people. Deb Need advice > I have been doing my CP soaps with milk lately instead of water, I have > asked several people if the milk would spoil, and everyone says No. But > someone from another group this morning said I should be adding benzoin. I > have no idea what that is, and please tell me I don' t need it. If my soap > is going to go bad, I have a lot of baths to get in. Thanks Kathy > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2001 Report Share Posted September 11, 2001 Josh got into that for awhile--We did neosporin & a bandaide on each one..he hates bandaides..but told him they had to be covered in school..He stopped pretty quick..#1 they heal quicker #2 he wanted no bandaides....of course having said that I see he has a few new ones tonight..with all the strain of today.....We also are in CT...Joy Mschell678@... wrote: > hi everyone! i am new too the group and i have never posted before. i > live in connecticut and today i had a meeting with my son's teacher > and social worker and psycholgist. it was originally supposed to be > the teacher but those other people wanted too be in on it. well > needless to say the meeting did not go well at all. allen who is 8 > years old is having a hard time. allen picks his skin alot and he has > cut on his arm and legs. alot of people as if he has chicken poxs > that is how bad it is. kids are teasing him too and i feel so bad for > him. i can't put this child in long sleeves everyday because it is > still warm out. i don't know what i can do too help him stop picking > and making it worse. i need some advice on this. each time i tell him > too stop doing it he just goes right back too it in a few minutes. > thanks for your time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2001 Report Share Posted September 11, 2001 Mschell, Welcome to the group. How did you find us? I am sorry to hear that your son is having hard time right now. Have you been seeing anyone for treatment? It sounds like the school is concerned for your son. I have a 17 y/o son who was dx at age 12. I have found this group to be very helpful. The best thing you can do is find someone who can offer the kind of help needs. Obviously he just can't stop, he needs to get someone to work with him. This can be so stressful for our children and parents and siblings. You said you live in CT. On the OC Foundation web site there are the following listings for support groups. I pasted them at the end of this message. Maybe you could contact them for a possible Dr. and help/guidance. The web site is www.ocfoundation.org Please keep us posted and let us know how things are going. We are here to listen and give our thoughts on how this effects our own personal lives and the lives of our children. Vivian in WA ST Danbury, CT, USA CONTACT: Urban-Gentile, (203) 794-0819 OPEN TO: Individuals with OCD, and their supporters FREQUENCY: Tuesday, 2pm LOCATION: 66 West Street, Danbury FEE: Free TYPE: Mutual Help Group DATED: 3/01 Farmington, CT, USA CONTACT: Fidler, LCSW, (860) 679-6716 fidler@... OPEN TO: Individuals with OCD FREQUENCY: Every other Monday LOCATION: Univ. of Conn Hlth. Ctr., 10 Talcott Notch Rd., Psych. Outpatient Serv. FEE: $85 TYPE: Therapy Group: Cognitive Behavioral DATED: 3/01 Middletown, CT, USA CONTACT: Ginger Blume, Ph.D, (860) 346-6020 or Terry 289-1683 (860) gblumeasso@... OPEN TO: Individuals with OCD FREQUENCY: Tuesday 6-7:30pm, Twice a month LOCATION: 300 Plaza Middlesex TYPE: Therapy Group MISC INFO: Based on Dr. Schwartz book " Brainlock " DATED: 5/01 Milford, CT, USA CONTACT: Deena Grabinski, (203) 932-4951 OCD Children@... OPEN TO: Parents and children with OCD. FEE: Free TYPE: Mutual Help Group MISC INFO: Please remember there is no age limit to the disorder, so there is no age limit to our support group. DATED: 3/01 New Haven, CT, USA CONTACT: Self-Help/Mutual Support Network (203) 624-6982 MISC INFO: Structured self-help group using Living With Fear (Marks, i.m. McGraw Hill) Weathersfield, CT, USA CONTACT: at Mental Hlth. Asstn. (800) 842-1501 ext.15 jgriese@... OPEN TO: Individuals with OCD. Family and Friends. FREQUENCY: 1st & 3rd Sunday of each month from 4-6 pm LOCATION: Mental Health Association of CT, 23 Beaver Rd. FEE: Free TYPE: Mutual Help Group DATED: 3/01 --- Mschell678@... wrote: > hi everyone! i am new too the group and i have never > posted before. i > live in connecticut and today i had a meeting with > my son's teacher > and social worker and psycholgist. it was originally > supposed to be > the teacher but those other people wanted too be in > on it. well > needless to say the meeting did not go well at all. > allen who is 8 > years old is having a hard time. allen picks his > skin alot and he has > cut on his arm and legs. alot of people as if he has > chicken poxs > that is how bad it is. kids are teasing him too and > i feel so bad for > him. i can't put this child in long sleeves everyday > because it is > still warm out. i don't know what i can do too help > him stop picking > and making it worse. i need some advice on this. > each time i tell him > too stop doing it he just goes right back too it in > a few minutes. > thanks for your time. > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2001 Report Share Posted September 12, 2001 Welcome to the group. My 13 year old daughter had problems with skin-picking also. When she was 10 it was so bad that she had sores all over her arms and legs. I tried the neo-sporen (sp?), Band-Aid approach but she got accustomed to the look of Band-Aids all over her body and continued picking. So I told her that the summers are too hot and muggy here in NC to have so many open sores and she would have to wear long sleeves and pants to prevent infection and impetigo OR she could go see a CBT therapist. She reluctantly chose the latter. Fortunately he was very good and after about 3-4 visits the skin picking stopped. She still occasionally picks but nothing like before. The good news for you is that he has a website where he offers free self help and info about a variety of OC symptoms. His name is Dr. Reid and he also co-wrote a book with Dr. Edna Foa called " Stop Obsessing " . Here is his web site address: http://www.anxieties.com/home.htm I hope this helps. Dana in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2001 Report Share Posted September 12, 2001 I am in CT also. Where are you? I live in Fairfield County (Norwalk). My son is 14 now but was diagnosed in 2nd grade. He sometime skin picks but isn't right now. Last spring/early summer he did it a lot - mosquito bites = lots of scabs picked = scars. He also has scars on his arms - he had a long cut (more like a narrow rug burn) from a dog leash that he repeated picked the scab and it looks like he slit his arm open - the scar is 6 inches long. We never tried to do CBT for it because it is usually seasonal - but he old enough to be self conscience now so if he does it again next spring I will. Is you son seeing a psychologist /and taking meds? Someone to do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with your son would be the first thing to do. They can help you know what to do at home to help him. Anne in CT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2001 Report Share Posted December 21, 2001 Hi ! Definately don't give up! You can do this. It was very smart of you to go and call QVC up and ask for the instructional tape. That will really help you out! Just take it slow. ANd remember that everyone has been where you are today. Sometimes I still end up there. It happens! But, before you know it....months will pass and you will amaze yourself and will feel so strong and powerful! Take care and have a great holiday! > Hi.... > > I just joined the list and am new to taebo. Hubby bought me the QVC total > tapes for X-mas. They arrived yesterday and I just had to take a > peek............ > I put in basic one in my VCR and tried it. I couldn't do half the things that > everyone was doing. I am not very overweight but I was huffing and puffing > and extremely dizzy. I am starting to think taebo isn't for me. > I begged hubby to get me the tapes and he wanted me to try something alittle > easier. But when I watched everyone on QVC I really believed I could do it!! > Should I just throw in the towel and return them? I would hate for hubby to > be right! > > Discouraged, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2001 Report Share Posted December 21, 2001 Hi ! Definately don't give up! You can do this. It was very smart of you to go and call QVC up and ask for the instructional tape. That will really help you out! Just take it slow. ANd remember that everyone has been where you are today. Sometimes I still end up there. It happens! But, before you know it....months will pass and you will amaze yourself and will feel so strong and powerful! Take care and have a great holiday! > Hi.... > > I just joined the list and am new to taebo. Hubby bought me the QVC total > tapes for X-mas. They arrived yesterday and I just had to take a > peek............ > I put in basic one in my VCR and tried it. I couldn't do half the things that > everyone was doing. I am not very overweight but I was huffing and puffing > and extremely dizzy. I am starting to think taebo isn't for me. > I begged hubby to get me the tapes and he wanted me to try something alittle > easier. But when I watched everyone on QVC I really believed I could do it!! > Should I just throw in the towel and return them? I would hate for hubby to > be right! > > Discouraged, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2001 Report Share Posted December 21, 2001 Hi ! Definately don't give up! You can do this. It was very smart of you to go and call QVC up and ask for the instructional tape. That will really help you out! Just take it slow. ANd remember that everyone has been where you are today. Sometimes I still end up there. It happens! But, before you know it....months will pass and you will amaze yourself and will feel so strong and powerful! Take care and have a great holiday! > Hi.... > > I just joined the list and am new to taebo. Hubby bought me the QVC total > tapes for X-mas. They arrived yesterday and I just had to take a > peek............ > I put in basic one in my VCR and tried it. I couldn't do half the things that > everyone was doing. I am not very overweight but I was huffing and puffing > and extremely dizzy. I am starting to think taebo isn't for me. > I begged hubby to get me the tapes and he wanted me to try something alittle > easier. But when I watched everyone on QVC I really believed I could do it!! > Should I just throw in the towel and return them? I would hate for hubby to > be right! > > Discouraged, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2001 Report Share Posted December 26, 2001 > > Discouraged, > , Like everyone else has told you, DO NOT return them! When I got my tapes about 1 1/2 years ago, I was soooo excited because of all the good things I heard and saw about Tae Bo, but let me tell you, when I first did it, I thought I was going to DIE. Every time kept saying " come on, you can do it! " I was like " SHUT UP! " hahahaha! I look back and laugh now, because it has totally changed my life. Even though after Mike and I got married, I went off track a bit, healthwise. Those tapes are one thing that I know I invested wisely in. I don't think anything I've ever purchased has given me as much satisfaction. Don't worry about how you look outside at all until you get your will and spirit together, than you will be AMAZED at how your body responds. Set small goals each week. Say " Okay, I will do 1/2 the tape without stopping by Friday, " etc, etc. Then eventually you'll ask yourself, " why did I ever think this was so hard? " Don't give up, you'll thank us all for making you stick to it, I promise. Keep us updated on how you do! God Bless and Tae Bo on! Christiana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2002 Report Share Posted May 14, 2002 Stacie... You shouldn't have to carry this burden... it cannot be helping your medical condition at all ... you and your father must remember you are the child and he is the adult... I'm sure he didn't mean it when he said you and your illness are the cause of his illness... it sounds to me as if he simply has not adjusted to his condition... often it takes more time than he's had to do so... if there are no other adult family members to help deal w/his emotions perhaps you could mention it to one of your medical caregivers and they might be able to steer you in the right direction to get professional help for him... it sounds as if he needs counceling to learn how to cope w/his diagnosis and all the emotions that go along w/it... whatever comes to be, please don't allow yourself to feel responsible for what is happening to another... you are not and you do not need that burden to deal w/... you hang in there girl!!! {{{S}}} JES in NJ... God Bless America A wish is an opportunity to change tomorrow. > hi all me again once again i need advice about my dad he wants to kill > himself says he has no perpus in life says i could not understand because i > have been sick all my life and i'm used to it althou i'm not i'm not sure > what to do he keeps asking us to shoot him get it over with it's scaring me > i love him i'm unsure how to feel i mean i love my dad but he is hurting us > saying it's defferent i WENTED mine and he did not HELLO i did not want mine > either i'm scared he wanted to jump in a lake then wanted us to shoot him > ( i thank he was just talking but unsure if thats all ) what am i supposed > to say or do he blames me says i caused him stress and that i made him sick > from the stress he's told me to move out more then once told me i could > never understand and told me that if i was never born he might not be sick > so as of right now i'm not sure what to do i cant handle this it's putting > stress on me and him i just dont know how to help him he makes me feel like > it's my falt i'm not sure anymore weather it is or not thanks for listenign > and for any help i know i will get yelled at once he sees this email but i > have no where ealse to turn > > stacie,18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2002 Report Share Posted May 14, 2002 Stacie, I wish I offer you some encouragement at the moment but following my stroke it difficult to type. Here's a homily I preached about illness few months ago: you might find some comfort in this. Most of a homily is preparation for Lent, but the last four paragraphs gives us a sense of our worth. http://www.briantumelty.dnet.co.uk/h2002/A05_Ord_02.htm In prayers, Tumelty, Northern Ireland. NEED ADVICE > hi all me again once again i need advice about my dad he wants to kill > himself says he has no perpus in life says i could not understand because i > have been sick all my life and i'm used to it althou i'm not i'm not sure > what to do he keeps asking us to shoot him get it over with it's scaring me > i love him i'm unsure how to feel i mean i love my dad but he is hurting us > saying it's defferent i WENTED mine and he did not HELLO i did not want mine > either i'm scared he wanted to jump in a lake then wanted us to shoot him > ( i thank he was just talking but unsure if thats all ) what am i supposed > to say or do he blames me says i caused him stress and that i made him sick > from the stress he's told me to move out more then once told me i could > never understand and told me that if i was never born he might not be sick > so as of right now i'm not sure what to do i cant handle this it's putting > stress on me and him i just dont know how to help him he makes me feel like > it's my falt i'm not sure anymore weather it is or not thanks for listenign > and for any help i know i will get yelled at once he sees this email but i > have no where ealse to turn > > stacie,18 > > > > > Please visit the Zapper homepage at > http://www.ZapLife.org > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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