NEED ADVICE

[Guest guest]

I am fine with him learning to drink from a water bottle, but they have to

deal with the mess. And I don't think they will attend to him like he

should and I want him to get something to drink throughout the day. My

reply to her email was the same as you suggested, maybe offer him a book to

look at. And that I would do my best to move his bed time back. Other than

that, what can I do while I'm not there? It's so frustrating and my heart

hurts thinking about his day. I wish I could be a fly on the wall!

[Guest guest]

Is Evan your oldest or only child? If so, you may be experiencing what all

of us did when our eldest or only first began school full time: Separation

anxiety. You'll get through it.

granny

On Mon, Sep 13, 2010 at 8:11 AM, Troy and Rene Vaughn <

creativekidsdaycare@...> wrote:

>

>

> I am fine with him learning to drink from a water bottle, but they have to

> deal with the mess. And I don't think they will attend to him like he

> should and I want him to get something to drink throughout the day. My

> reply to her email was the same as you suggested, maybe offer him a book to

> look at. And that I would do my best to move his bed time back. Other than

> that, what can I do while I'm not there? It's so frustrating and my heart

> hurts thinking about his day. I wish I could be a fly on the wall!

>

>

>

--

[image: PLC 25 bumpersticker]

Not for ourselves but for the whole world we were born

[Guest guest]

Hi Rene,

First off, a note of caution: The note from the school was nice.. and it's

great that it is positive, but be careful about including the email of the

school on it. In the past on this list we had an incident where another parent

took it upon herself to email the school and thus created more problems for the

family. I also just had an occasion with this in some emails I sent to our

school and cc'd to a " support group " and then had the school and someone from

the group dialoging regarding our issues.

Secondly, and more importantly, you need to go over your IEP. His goals should

be specifically directed at him with appropriate accommodations for EVAN and not

for the class. You state that the teacher has a classroom aide.. does she need

another? Even just at certain times during the day? That would help with the 1

on 1 aide at this time.

If he has issues drinking out of a carton/bottle .. make it a goal.. let them

know that he will need assistance to drink out of the water bottle. What a

wonderful spot for an OT goal!

At the age that he is at he should not be expected to sit still and again, some

accommodations should be included for times that they know or see that he is

getting restless. I would push for positive behavior programs.. perhaps even

put in training as a need for all staff in his IEP. For most of Mav's

elementary years we had " inclusion training " and " positive behavior training " as

a part of his IEP and it happened yearly. If he has only been in school for 3

weeks, I would for sure not expect HIM to be able to settle down into a routine

or THEM to be able to know exactly how to handle things. As the staff gets

to know him they will know what are his " trouble " spots and how to read his

behavior a know if he needs a distraction. Make them aware of that and let

them know that it is their responsibility to learn this.

How great that they are open to you coming to the school to work with them and

teach them to know your son! However, if things are put in the IEP (water

bottles issue, toileting needs) the school has to work with him on his

individual needs.. there is none of this.. " the school wants the children to

have their own water bottle! " The IEP is a legal document that is there to

support your son's education. You can call an IEP meeting whenever you feel the

need. Put it in writing and they have 10 days to comply. Again, it doesn't

matter what the COUNTY does.. his IEP is what his education is led by. Sounds

like he is in a great situation for preK... becareful that they don't keep him

in lifeskills classes later on if you feel he would benefit from a reg ed

setting.

Go with your GUT. YOU know him better than any other person... and don't let

the school tell you that THEY are the professionals.. Parent trumps professional

anyday! Be a good advocate. Educate yourself. Coming to this list is good..

there are those of us who have been there and are still there and there are so

many different opinions.. it's good to get as many as you can and then figure

out what is best for your child and family.

The bus issue.. that's a hard one.. it's been on this list many times before.

Unfortunately there are no laws about the amount of time a child can/should be

on the bus. If you can transport, giving him an extra hour of sleep.. that

might be an option. And HEY.. do you know that many kindergarten classes NAP in

the afternoon with all day kindergarten? Of course he's going to get tired

after lunch... don't we all? I have a 20 yr old with DS and we were so happy

when we got to Jr. high and HS and we could SCHEDULE his classes to meet his

needs.. PE and BAND were great to have after lunch.. Math, Science, Reading,

History.. morning only classes. I bet the majority of our kids.. ds or not..

would benefit from schedules like that.

Keep up the good work.. keep the questions coming.. keep good positive

communication going with the school while you can!

We have an 8 yr old, 20 yr old, and 47 yr old with ds and we now have a 22 yr

old with ds living with us temporarily. Not ONE of them is the same as the

others.. just like our other 9 ..nds kids.. all wonderfully individual.

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for you reply , it was quite uplifting. Your

suggestion not to mention the school email is smart and it didn't even come

to mind! So many days I tell my husband I wish I didn't have to work

full-time. Unfortunately, between the two of us, our income doesn't cut it

:-( I would love to drive him to school in the morning, LOVE IT! But I do

childcare out of my home for a living and I can't drive all 5 of them every

morning to school (I don't think the parents would appreciate it). Anyhow,

you brought a lot of ideas into mind. I never thought of an aide just for

specific times of the day or putting in drinking from a water bottle in his

IEP.

I'm not even sure if special K is right for him because of all this other

stuff going on (running around, not focusing, etc). I'm hoping Evan will

adjust as the weeks go by. I don't even know exactly how functional skills

work and how different it is? Do most of us here push for special classes

with an aide? I can't see Evan keeping up without an aide, atleast at this

age. Homework was way over his head so I just don't know!!

By the way, you must be insane to have 12 kids, LOL!! You are a very strong

woman!!! I have 3 kids and I can't keep up!

Thanks for your input, I appreciate it and I'm so happy to have a support

group to discuss things with! Rene

_____

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf

Of and FRANK

Sent: Monday, September 13, 2010 4:22 PM

Subject: Re: Need advice

Hi Rene,

First off, a note of caution: The note from the school was nice.. and it's

great that it is positive, but be careful about including the email of the

school on it. In the past on this list we had an incident where another

parent took it upon herself to email the school and thus created more

problems for the family. I also just had an occasion with this in some

emails I sent to our school and cc'd to a " support group " and then had the

school and someone from the group dialoging regarding our issues.

Secondly, and more importantly, you need to go over your IEP. His goals

should be specifically directed at him with appropriate accommodations for

EVAN and not for the class. You state that the teacher has a classroom

aide.. does she need another? Even just at certain times during the day?

That would help with the 1 on 1 aide at this time.

If he has issues drinking out of a carton/bottle .. make it a goal.. let

them know that he will need assistance to drink out of the water bottle.

What a wonderful spot for an OT goal!

At the age that he is at he should not be expected to sit still and again,

some accommodations should be included for times that they know or see that

he is getting restless. I would push for positive behavior programs..

perhaps even put in training as a need for all staff in his IEP. For most of

Mav's elementary years we had " inclusion training " and " positive behavior

training " as a part of his IEP and it happened yearly. If he has only been

in school for 3 weeks, I would for sure not expect HIM to be able to settle

down into a routine or THEM to be able to know exactly how to handle things.

As the staff gets to know him they will know what are his " trouble " spots

and how to read his behavior a know if he needs a distraction. Make them

aware of that and let them know that it is their responsibility to learn

this.

How great that they are open to you coming to the school to work with them

and teach them to know your son! However, if things are put in the IEP

(water bottles issue, toileting needs) the school has to work with him on

his individual needs.. there is none of this.. " the school wants the

children to have their own water bottle! " The IEP is a legal document that

is there to support your son's education. You can call an IEP meeting

whenever you feel the need. Put it in writing and they have 10 days to

comply. Again, it doesn't matter what the COUNTY does.. his IEP is what his

education is led by. Sounds like he is in a great situation for preK...

becareful that they don't keep him in lifeskills classes later on if you

feel he would benefit from a reg ed setting.

Go with your GUT. YOU know him better than any other person... and don't let

the school tell you that THEY are the professionals.. Parent trumps

professional anyday! Be a good advocate. Educate yourself. Coming to this

list is good.. there are those of us who have been there and are still there

and there are so many different opinions.. it's good to get as many as you

can and then figure out what is best for your child and family.

The bus issue.. that's a hard one.. it's been on this list many times

before. Unfortunately there are no laws about the amount of time a child

can/should be on the bus. If you can transport, giving him an extra hour of

sleep.. that might be an option. And HEY.. do you know that many

kindergarten classes NAP in the afternoon with all day kindergarten? Of

course he's going to get tired after lunch... don't we all? I have a 20 yr

old with DS and we were so happy when we got to Jr. high and HS and we could

SCHEDULE his classes to meet his needs.. PE and BAND were great to have

after lunch.. Math, Science, Reading, History.. morning only classes. I bet

the majority of our kids.. ds or not.. would benefit from schedules like

that.

Keep up the good work.. keep the questions coming.. keep good positive

communication going with the school while you can!

We have an 8 yr old, 20 yr old, and 47 yr old with ds and we now have a 22

yr old with ds living with us temporarily. Not ONE of them is the same as

the others.. just like our other 9 ..nds kids.. all wonderfully individual.

[Guest guest]

Ok. I will admit I am insane.. however, it's not as bad as it sounds.

We have adopted 9. (2 with ds)... we have a friend with DS who lives with us

full time (47) and a friend who is living with us temporarily (22ds) and we have

guardianship of our grandsons who are preschoolers. Three of the 9 are grown

and out of the home. So.. they aren't all in our home. However, we do usually

have to take the suburban and minivan both wherever we go. LOL.

Another suggestion is to know the make up of the class and work on the best role

model to be a " buddy " to Evan. He can be the one he stands inline with, or

sits with at lunch.

Also, remind them that children with ds often need " transitioning " time. Let

him know that in 5 minutes they will be changing activities... then 3 minutes..

then 1 minute. A lot of these things that we do at home without thinking..

others don't realize as easily. If lunch time is an issue... perhaps he needs

an alternative activity after he's done eating? Sitting around and unstructured

time is the enemy of our kids.

I am a strong proponent of positive, positive, positive. Don't punish the

children.. reward them. This works with our kids at home as well as at school..

ds or not.

One day soon you'll be giving the advice!

[Guest guest]

Sorry. I always forget on this list to check the to box before I reply!

>

>----- Forwarded Message ----

>From: Kiersten <kiersten5560@...>

>creativekidsdaycare@...

>Sent: Mon, September 13, 2010 9:14:33 PM

>Subject: Re: Need advice

>

>

> Rene. I am so very sorry that you are dealing with this. I do not know what

>the rules are for you or what might be possible. I know for us, we have dealt

>with some of the same issues and solved the most important issues in different

>ways at different times.

>

>

>Is it possible to put him back into the other class? In other words,

retention,

>and let the teachers that worked well with him move him along in his learning

in

>a better environment that meets his current needs?

>

>

>(When our Alden was to go to Pre K4, it was not working either (and one of the

>issues WAS a long bus ride)... so we sent him back with the Head Start

classroom

>and he gained the skills that he needed to enter Kinder. He had to skip Pre

K4

>because that program was age based only. The Early Intervention classes

>actually had children in there up to age 5 and Kinder had different ages, also.

> I had him do Kindergarten twice, the first time was his Pre K4 experience and

>the second time he was much more on target as a Kinder in many ways. This only

>put him a year behind part of the year age-wise.)

>

>

>I am at a loss on the bathroom skills. Are these teachers nuts? I mean, even

>kids in First grade have accidents once in a blue moon! These are little

>kids!!! They need to work something out in that program. Either put him on a

>bathroom schedule to help him gain those skills or take him to the nurse or get

>an aide in the classroom OR the teacher will have to change the pull ups! They

>need to decide how they are going to handle those issues and get a program in

>place.

>

>

>(The best situation that I experienced was when Alden was on a schedule and

the

>nurse was the appointed " bathroom helper " for that school. All children that

>needed assistance in the bathroom had a schedule, went to the nurses office on

>schedule, and it worked very smoothly. The nurse was the ONLY person that

>tended to those private issues. He did much better in that situation than what

>we are dealing with currently. I still have not managed to potty train Alden

>and he is going to be 9 in Dec. He has absolutely no recognition of BM's and

>unless he is instructed to go to the bathroom, he has only managed to get to

the

>toilet for urinating a handful of times. I keep working on it. It has been

>very frustrating for us but it isn't for lack of trying. There are other

>children out there that have issues with toileting.)

>

>

>It should not matter if there are others in the class that need an aid or not.

> If he needs an aid, then he needs an aid. If they would rather him go back to

>the Special Pre K for a year, that might be an option... but his needs cannot

be

>based on if they have other kids that also need this aid, you know?

>

>

>(We DO deal with that here in El Paso. I have done different things at

>different times. I pulled Alden totally from the PS system last year and

>schooled him at home. What they were NOT doing was insane and what they DID do

>what even more nuts! I felt that we needed a break to " deprogram " after that

>fiasco. This year we are trying another school and while there are still

issues

>with the " system " , which DO need attention and if I were rich I would get a

>lawyer for sure... just to shake their tree a bit, Alden is getting more

>attention and is happy in this classroom. The problem for us here is that

>inclusion is NOT encouraged NOR implemented except for a bit here and there

for

> " looks " and I do not think that they are " teaching " at the level for Alden NOR

>do I believe that he is gaining much in the way of how non-disabled peers

>behave, play, act, react to life. This is probably the hardest part for me

>living where we do currently.)

>

>

>Modifications and accommodations need to be implemented. How sad is that?

They

>need to do the right thing! Have they thought of any peer tutoring or helping?

> I mean, really... if there are other children in the classroom who are more

>able, could they not be a " buddy " and help with a water bottle cap or

something?

> Alden needs help at times getting the lid off of his yogurt. Those are good

>things that peers could help with and feel good about their own helper skills!

>

>

>Perhaps Evan needs to be a " helper " , too, in certain situations? With only 6

>children to teach, surely this teacher with credentials could become more

>creative in making this work?

>

>

>Oh, what do I know. Would you mind if I let out a little scream for you, Rene?

> LOL Kiersten

>

>

>>

>>From: Troy and Rene Vaughn <creativekidsdaycare@...>

>>

>>Sent: Mon, September 13, 2010 6:55:24 AM

>>Subject: RE: Need advice

>>

>>

>>Patty, Evan is the one with the most severe delay. so maybe that's the

>>problem with only having 1 aide and he's the only one interrupting the

>>class. I wish there were others, so I could push for another aide. This

>>teacher actually told me that she has never had to change diapers before in

>>her special K class! I said, " This is SPECIAL K, right? " I told her that

>>was depressing, and she had no comment. I guess she's nice enough but my

>>instincts make believe that she doesn't have the time or patience for Evan.

>>I have to look at her side too though. She's trying to push academic

>>lessons on 6 kids, 5 of which are probably more developmentally ready for,

>>and Evan disrupting.

>>

>>Evan learned to count to 13, his colors, shapes, matching, identifying

>>objects, how to follow rules, in his special PRE-K class, but his teacher

>>and aide were the cream of the crop and I know that I was spoiled and very

>>blessed to have them. I wish there were more special teachers out there

>>like those two!

>>

>>_____

>>

>>From: Patty Derdzinski [mailto:pderdzinski@...]

>>Sent: Monday, September 13, 2010 7:50 AM

>>creativekidsdaycare@...; ;

>>down_syndrome

>>Subject: Re: Need advice

>>

>>Hi Rene,

>>

>>No wonder you are second-guessing this classroom! Of course, these are only

>>my opinions, coming from a mother whose 2nd-grade child is in a

>>special-needs class and goes to a " regular " class for instruction as part of

>>her day, but, if your son is in a special Kindergarten class, then

>>accomodating him with these small things like his drink shouldn't even be an

>>issue.

>>

>>They should have some ideas about how to direct his behavior in the

>>classroom, lunchroom, etc - this is wonderful that you came in to help give

>>some ideas, but in my experience, the teachers already have some techniques

>>ready to try. Olivia's teachers (the great ones, anyway) knew what to do to

>>help her follow the rules in those settings, or things to try. Now her

>>special ed class has 2 aides/1 teacher about the same amount of students,

>>although some have more severe delays. But more aides probably meant that I

>>got a better day-to-day communication, she sent home a daily communication

>>notebook.

>>

>>I think you are so right about the bus ride too! Olivia almost had a long

>>ride in the morning this year, and I really objected. That is just so long

>>for a young student, especially when he is getting used to all-day school

>>too - that is a big adjustment as well.

>>

>>I know you will hear from others, with good advice about what to do. I don't

>>know how or what you should change, but there should be accomodations at the

>>least.

>>

>>Patty

>>

>>_____

>>

>>From: Troy and Rene Vaughn <creativekidsdaycare@...>

>> ; down_syndrome

>>Sent: Mon, September 13, 2010 7:14:27 AM

>>Subject: Need advice

>>

>>My son Evan who is 5 just started Special K this year 3 weeks ago. Last

>>year and the year prior, he attended special Pre-K for about 3 hours a day

>>and he did very well. Well, this year he is in school all day for 8 hours.

>>Gets up at 6:00 a.m., catches bus at 7:00 a.m, rides the bus for 1 hour.

>>

>>He is in a small class of 6 children, a teacher and 1 aide. The children

>>have special needs, but very mild (some may even just have speech issues).

>>Evan is the only child with down syndrome. Without going into too much

>>detail, we are finding that this classroom/teacher hasn't been very

>>accomodating. I had to get the OT to tell them that Evan NEEDED them to

>>pour his water in milk into an open cup for him at snack and lunch because

>>he cannot drink out of a water bottle without making a mess. When I

>>requested it be done, I was kind of shrugged off as the school wants the

>>children to have their own water bottles! HELLO! He does have special

>>needs. Anyhow, below is a letter from the teacher last friday because I

>>requested that she keep me updated on how his week is going. They say Evan

>>is getting up and running around at lunch in the cafeteria (which he did

>>fine when I showed up and disciplined him twice). Also, he is not

>>cooperating in class.

>>

>>I believe that getting up at 6:00 a.m. and then riding the bus for an hour

>>takes a toll on him, not to mention adjusting to the new long day. We are

>>working on putting him to bed earlier and earlier.

>>

>>Is this a situation when I should request and aide for my son? I don't even

>>know if he his eligible for one right now. Apparently in our county,

>>special needs kids start out in special pre-K first (least restrictive) and

>>then after a year or earlier if identified, they may be moved to functional

>>skills classes to a school which is in my school district.

>>

>>A part of me wonders if this is where he needs to be? He also has

>>hirschsprungs disease, which requires diaper changes due to stooling. I

>>feel like he is disrupting the class and I know that he requires more

>>attention than the other children. I welcome any comments, advice, or your

>>own personal stories and resolutions.

>>

>>I don't even want to send him to school. Thanks. Rene (mom to Evan)

>>_____

>>

>>From: [mailto:robertse@...

>><mailto:robertse%40calvertnet.k12.md.us> ]

>>Sent: Friday, September 10, 2010 3:07 PM

>>creativekidsdaycare@...

>><mailto:creativekidsdaycare%40verizon.net>

>>Subject: Weekly update

>>

>>Hi Mrs. Vaughn,

>>Thank you for coming in and giving us some tips for the lunch room. The

>>following day, I had lunch duty and it worked well for me. However, Mrs.

>>Carrington is still having a difficult time getting Evan to respond to the

>>chips and to remain seated. In the classroom, Evan needs much adult

>>assistance to remain seated during direct instruction and to attend to the

>>lessons. He loves when we read a story and usually attends to lessons on

>>the smart board. The morning is more productive for him as after recess he

>>seems very tired and less cooperative. I have tried to get him to take a

>>break and lay down for a few minutes, but he doesn't seem interested. I saw

>>your note regarding homework, Mrs. Carrington was absent and there was a

>>lack of communication about where some of the copies were placed and until

>>she returned, I could not send it home. Thank you for completing it with

>>him and returning it on time.

>>If you have any suggestions/questions/comments please share.

>>I hope you enjoy your weekend!

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

Hi Karyn,

Well... I guess I have more questions than advice after reading your email.

First of all, are your parents sickly? If they are only in their 60's and don't

have health issues why would they not be the logical choice? We have kids

ranging in age from 3 to 33. My husband is 62 and I am 56 and we certainly

don't feel that we are too old to be raising children, sp need or not. Now, my

mother.. who is 86.. SHE is too old. LOL.

Another questions is regarding all the care it takes for your daughter. Does

she have medical needs other than her asthma? ( 5 of my kids and myself have

asthma.. it's the norm here in AZ). You mention that you have your mother, your

MIL and a student nurse to care for her...what is that need? I guess I need

more info for that one also.

Next, regarding your sister and brother in laws.. well, honestly, very few

people know what all is entailed in caring for a child/adult with sp needs if

they aren't living it 24/7 so that is not surprising. As for their busy

lifestyle, why wouldn't your daughter be able to thrive in that type of

lifestyle? I know we are very busy.. in and out.. and get out of town as often

as we can.. .of course, the children are always WITH us and it's very low

budget, but we don't say no to anything because we have family members with ds.

AND, who is to say that they won't slow down and change their lifestyle if the

opportunity presented itself? There is a family.. all Type A personalities,

very intelligent children, and they just had a baby with ds. It is their 4th

child. They are excited and realize that this will be very different than

raising their other children but not a hardship, just a difference.

So, I wouldn't rule them out. I would suggest that you sit down with them..

both you and your husband, and talk about it openly.. about the pros and cons..

and your concerns. That way you'll have a good idea of where they stand and

the dialogue will be open between you and they can either say.. NO WAY we won't

be tied down like that! Or.. NO PROBLEM, we will embrace her as our own if the

time comes.

My daughter is going to have responsibility for our younger children if anything

happens to or I. We have discussed this as a matter of fact ever since she

was a young teen. She has the heart for it and the kids love her like a 2nd

mom as it is. Now, when she got serious about a boy.. one of the first things I

did was tell him... You KNOW, if anything happens to us, Shalana is going to be

parenting these kids. That way he knew right from the start if he didn't want

to get involved. Well, they are getting married next year. In the past 4 yrs

we have seen him grow to become a much more compassionate person. He works so

well with , Mav, Logan and all our other kids. He surprises even himself!

Hope this helps and I really AM curious about my questions. LOL.

[Guest guest]

These are hard questions. My daughter is now 21. I would never leave my

children with my in laws because of their mental health issues. My own parents

love her to death, but we still didn't feel comfortable making them guardians

mostly because my mom has some really backwards ideas about people with DD. So

we have some wonderful friends who love and cared about our daughter, and we

made them guardians in our will. Fortunately, we never had to call on them.

Now that she is an adult, we are the legal guardians, and her sister is the

backup guardian (she's 25) and her brother is the second backup and we are fine

with this. I think part of the question has to be not only that they love and

care about the child, but whether they will be willing to be an advocate for

her, and seek out services and such she will need. Some people actually write a

plan of their wishes if they pass-- what do you want her life to look like?

Where would you want her to live when she is an adult? Then talk about it with

potential guardians. If you don't make family the guardians you will probably

need to make visitation rights part of the plan, if you want them involved in

any way.

[Guest guest]

Hi Maja--Here's a link to TheBody.com website--which has an entire section devoted to the newly diagnosed--you & your friend should find it most helpful.  http://www.thebody.com/content/49985/just-diagnosed-with-hiv-aids.html

In the UK, iBase has very good info, and they may provide other services as well http://i-base.info/hiv-positive/

Give him time, and just be there for him--he'll have to deal with it eventually--an HIV diagnosis is often like the stages of grief--the first of which is denial.  Good luck!Jeff

Need advice

Posted by: " Maja Ruèman "  maja_rucman@...   maja_rucman

Fri Jun 10, 2011 6:47 am (PDT)

Hey all!A friend of mine has just been diagnosed HIV positive last week.Since he's told me he was getting tested I've basically moved in with him and we got the news together.I'm the only one he's told.

I really want to help him, but I have no idea what is the 'right' way to go about it.Initially he was offcourse in shock, now he is trying to ignore his diagnosis, find as many distractions as he can so he doesn't have to face it.

The last two days he gets angry about every little thing..... I can't get him to talk to me seriously for more than 5 minutes and I'm not even sure if I should try to....I can imagine to some extent what he is going through, but I can't know 

everything.I'm not sure if this is the right group to turn to (is it mostly health-related?) but I'd really appreciate any advice - I really don't know how best to help him to get through this...

Maja

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Messages in this topic 

[Guest guest]

Hi Maja--Here's a link to TheBody.com website--which has an entire section devoted to the newly diagnosed--you & your friend should find it most helpful.  http://www.thebody.com/content/49985/just-diagnosed-with-hiv-aids.html

In the UK, iBase has very good info, and they may provide other services as well http://i-base.info/hiv-positive/

Give him time, and just be there for him--he'll have to deal with it eventually--an HIV diagnosis is often like the stages of grief--the first of which is denial.  Good luck!Jeff

Need advice

Posted by: " Maja Ruèman "  maja_rucman@...   maja_rucman

Fri Jun 10, 2011 6:47 am (PDT)

Hey all!A friend of mine has just been diagnosed HIV positive last week.Since he's told me he was getting tested I've basically moved in with him and we got the news together.I'm the only one he's told.

I really want to help him, but I have no idea what is the 'right' way to go about it.Initially he was offcourse in shock, now he is trying to ignore his diagnosis, find as many distractions as he can so he doesn't have to face it.

The last two days he gets angry about every little thing..... I can't get him to talk to me seriously for more than 5 minutes and I'm not even sure if I should try to....I can imagine to some extent what he is going through, but I can't know 

everything.I'm not sure if this is the right group to turn to (is it mostly health-related?) but I'd really appreciate any advice - I really don't know how best to help him to get through this...

Maja

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[Guest guest]

Two valuable numbers to call and speak with volunteer operators, most of whom are hiv+, are: Project Inform, which also has an excellent pamphlet- free to be mailed or printed out from www.projectinform.org, " Now that You've Tested Positive; " which is actually the first of a three part series. Otherwise, call toll-free Pacific time 10 am to 4 pm Mon-Fri, 800-822-7422. Also the AIDS Nightline has specially trained operator/volunteers to talk at night 5 pm to 5 am in your time zone for emotional support and referral. The national call in number for which they only have a few lines is 800-628-9240 or the local phone number, if you have toll-free long-distance calling, and they have more lines is 415-434-2437.

-- Healthfully & Electronically, GoldmanSan Francisco, CAHome of the 2010 WorldChampion Giants!

[Guest guest]

The direct link to the three pamphlet series, I previously cited is- http://projectinform.org/hivhealth/

and for the first one, " After You've Tested Positive, "  it's: http://projectinform.org/HIVhealth/day1.shtml

-- Healthfully & Electronically, GoldmanSan Francisco, CAHome of the 2010 WorldChampion Giants!

[Guest guest]

I'd get the 5200 refurbished.

$379 (was on sale for $359 not sure if still on sale)

Tony

[Guest guest]

Contact Lea Ann Savage on this list for the best deal. She will get you the best price, 7 year Warranty and free shipping.Lea Ann Savage lsavage@...If you'd rather hear her voice and talk call her at:(321) 773-7088 (home)(321-961-9219 (cell) Bro & BillieFrom: jujubee <jujubee785@...> Sent: Thu, September 22, 2011 5:24:03 PMSubject: Need advice

I would like to purchase a Vita Mix..What is the best one that will do everything? I saw the 4500 for $338 and the 5200 for $405.

Please advise.

Judy

[Guest guest]

I just ordered the 5200.

AmicoCT zone6

From: jujubee

Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 6:24 PM

Subject: Need advice

I would like to purchase a Vita Mix..What is the best one that will do everything? I saw the 4500 for $338 and the 5200 for $405.Please advise.Judy

[Guest guest]

That’s the one I just ordered. It came to $404 something with tax.

AmicoCT zone6

From: Tony Szpara

Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 6:30 PM

Subject: Re: Need advice

I'd get the 5200 refurbished.$379 (was on sale for $359 not sure if still on sale)Tony

[Guest guest]

Hello friends,I'm preparing for the ore part 2 next year as I was looking for

some information about this exam in this site,it seems all files have been

removed ?!!So if anyone can help me in this matter ,I'd be so appreciated.I need

to know what should I do and from where I should start ?? I heard that this

part of the exam is very difficult so pleaaaaaase give me some advices.

Many Thanks