Checking in...

[Guest guest]

Gail wrote:

> I am now sending out feelers with my other therapist friends

to find out a competent, March trained therapist for her ASAP.

Even with my networking, it's an awesome task. ...

Have passport, will travel!! Its a year since I was in New Orleans - time

for a visit?!

>On an upbeat note, tho, I have finally realized that I have to be in >top

>form to hanlde all this, and am eating better, getting more sleep and

>forcing myself to cut back on unnecessary committments right now. I feel

>much healthier anad have lost 11 pounds (so far). what do you think ?

>>Gail in N'Awlins

Gail, good for you!! Eating well and getting enough sleep really help to

think clearly and make decisions for yourself and the others... you go

girlfriend!

wendy (getting cold in canada)

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[Guest guest]

Dear Gail and all,

Not that I am happy that you are going thru the same difficulties with doctors that we are, but tonight I was feeling incompetent at my seeming inability to find someone who will HELP. Keep thinking we are in NY, there are so many choices here, and yet more and more miserable.

Finally convinced both husband and daughter that our extremely expensive far away doctor in the city doing more harm than good, he has everyone, including , convinced that all ALL of her problems stem from our bad parenting, and the conflicts that we have had this year. Unfortunately, spoke briefly to Packer tonight, she had to cancel our appt tomorrow due to illness in the family, she with our permission spoke to our last psych, and it seems as if he has her convinced that our family situation is causing too much harm, backtracking from her earlier position.

Meanwhile, what we still need I believe, is someone who really understands this disorder and its comorbidities, and who is competent to prescribe medication, and really work with us on an intensive basis to deal with side effects and such. Haven't found anyone yet to do this, and right now don't have a prescribing doctor at all. Just frustrated and impatient at the moment at how slowly this is all moving, as is .

All for now, and the other thread on being manic? finally off all SSRI's although still on Anafranil, and she has started getting manic every night around 9PM, just in time to try to put her to sleep, and when my patience has worn thin! As I said, we need someone who is competent with medication.

Ellen

[Guest guest]

Gail:

Way to go!!! Tell me the secret of your weight loss. I'm spending my time

running around putting out fires.

Jule

[Guest guest]

The therapy has been a bomb! I could kick myself for not following my

instincts and, as Kathy H. so elequently puts it "Run the other way as fast

as you can."

Gail,

Don't be hard on yourself about this. It's hard to walk the line

between keeping an open mind and dispassionately evaluating at the same

time. I know when I take Ava to a new doctor part of me is so much

hoping that it will be the right one, part of me is trying to remain open

to new or different ideas and another part of me is trying to evaluate

these ideas based on what I know and have learned here and through

reading. I'm going through this right now with Ava's new doctor.

Another worry I have during this process is trying not to care that

the doctor is also evaluating me as I evaluate the process - so many of

us have been told at some point that "the problem" was our parenting and

some of us were led to believe that in our search for help for our children

we were really seeking attention for ourselves. It's hard to disagree

with so called experts, especially when you live in a small town and they

all know each other.

I'm glad you got away from this person when you did and I'm sorry you

have to look for someone else.

Dana in NC

[Guest guest]

Hi Ellen:

You are raising an all too common problem. We also found that since

Steve's case was complicated by several comorbidities, a very wide range of

OCD symptoms, his great reluctance towards CBT, meds, and considerable

depressive syptoms, many of the early docs we went to got pretty

overwhelmed. Sometimes I felt my role was to be their cheerleader that

things could turn around!

Although I am not a mental health professional I wonder if their training

includes moving towards focusing on the family when evidence-based

treatments are not being successful? Perhaps some of the mental health

professionals on our list can comment. Add to that the fact that any

family would be dysfunctional trying to live with a child with severe OCD

and other comorbidities, it is hard to avoid being tarred with this brush.

I did not get so upset when our family dysfunction was being blamed for

causing Steve's illness and making his treatment impossible, but when my

cancer was blamed for causing his OCD and complicating his treatment I was

very concerned and hurt.

ly I had to agree with anyone, mental health professional or other,

who might see our family during this time and say we were not managing. It

was my interpretation too, that was why we went for help!

However we did find it necessary to be very open to interventions suggested

to turn this around by the various mental health professionals we

consulted. Partly because we were so desperate we would try anything to

help our precious child, but partly because it is so hard to find a mental

health professional here who will even give you an appointment.

The first three psychiatrists Steve had dropped him as a patient. I had

never experienced this before as every doctor I had had who could not take

care of me anymore had always provided a referral before exiting the scene.

This did not happen for Steve and often I was at a loss to explain to him

why Dr. X was unwilling to have him as a patient any longer!

While some of the suggestions we received to fine tune the family or

correct us, did little to help Steve's OCD, being open to them did signal

to the mental health professionals that we were willing to do anything to

help Steve. This enhanced their commitment to treating him. Also some of

the ideas were very helpful in turning us into more competent parents. I

do deeply believe that parenting a child with a mental illness (or two,

three, etc.) requires extra skillful parenting of us. So we went to

parenting classes, did extensive family therapy, had in home observations

of how our family operates, you name it, to show our willingness to

cooperate. We learned how to be more effective parents and how essential

it is to align our parenting styles in the best interests of our children.

This has been very valuable to our family, although I believe it is by no

means the most important reason why Steve is doing so well today. That I

attribute to competent CBT therapy and appropriate medication.

We have to be willing to take a good, hard and often painful look at our

coping styles, our parenting styles, our communication styles, and how our

family interacts in the interests of our kids. If we are lucky we can do

this with a supportive and understanding team of professionals. If you

feel that a doc, no matter how lofty their credentials, cannot understand

and respect our pain and anguish while we do this, it is time to work with

someone who can. It took me quite a bit of searching, but it is like a

serious relationship. You might have to kiss a few toads but you will know

when you meet your prince. What we noticed was that Steve had about a

dozen different docs in the first year or less of his treatment. Now he

has a team who have been working with him in a stable fashion for over two

years. When it works, it is worth all the seeking and worry.

Good luck Ellen, take care, aloha, Kathy (H)

kathyh@...

At 12:19 AM 11/02/2000 EST, you wrote:

>Dear Gail and all,

>

>Not that I am happy that you are going thru the same difficulties with

>doctors that we are, but tonight I was feeling incompetent at my seeming

> Keep thinking we are in NY, there

>are so many choices here, and yet more and more miserable.

>

>Finally convinced both husband and daughter that our extremely expensive far

>away doctor in the city doing more harm than good, he has everyone,

including

>, convinced that all ALL of her problems stem from our bad parenting,

> Unfortunately, spoke briefly

>to Packer tonight, she had to cancel our appt tomorrow due to illness

>in the family, she with our permission spoke to our last psych, and it seems

>as if he has her convinced that our family situation is causing too much

>harm, backtracking from her earlier position.

>

>Meanwhile, what we still need I believe, is someone who really understands

>this disorder and its comorbidities, and who is competent to prescribe

>medication, and really work with us on an intensive basis to deal with side

> Haven't found anyone yet to do this, and right now don't

> Just frustrated and impatient at the

>moment at how slowly this is all moving, as is .

>

>All for now, and the other thread on being manic? finally off all

>SSRI's although still on Anafranil, and she has started getting manic every

>night around 9PM, just in time to try to put her to sleep, and when my

> As I said, we need someone who is competent with

>medication.

>

>Ellen

>

[Guest guest]

At 09:39 PM 11/1/00 EST, you wrote:

> We are on quite a rollercoaster here. 's meds are holding tight

>(200 mg Luvox) and we are titrating down on the respirdal at the rate of

0.10

>mg per week for the next 10 weeks. The pdoc added Topmax to combat the

>sluggish metabolism and weight gain from the respirdal. The med part is

>going okay for now.

I am sorry things are unstable for right now. What is Topmax? Does it

help people lose weight even if they stay on Risperdal? Are there dangerous

side effects?

> The therapy has been a bomb! I could kick myself for not following my

>instincts and, as Kathy H. so elequently puts it " Run the other way as fast

>as you can. " Last session, the therapist spent most of the time talking

with

> about how she FEELS about having OCD. Gosh I could sum that up in just

>a few choice, unprintable words!

This is where we are right now too. Aggravating, as there isn't anybody

else (that we haven't already tried) in 200 miles in any direction. But my

daughter says the OCD isn't bothering her so much right now, so we'll see.

Chrystal does not want to even discuss OCD with the counsellor right now,

" there are other things more important " she says - but if she weren't so

darn anxious about every little thing, the " other things " might not seem

" so important. " And the counsellor hasn't shown me that she knows a darn

thing about OCD anyway... Vicki in Montana

[Guest guest]

>

> The first three psychiatrists Steve had dropped him as a patient.

I had

> never experienced this before as every doctor I had had who could

not take

> care of me anymore had always provided a referral before exiting

the scene.

> This did not happen for Steve and often I was at a loss to explain

to him

> why Dr. X was unwilling to have him as a patient any longer!

I find this incredible BUT have wondered before whether a doc who is

suddenly very difficult to contact, won't return messages and so

forth is trying to send a message. Or, am I just paranoid? (is that

in the spectrum??! :-)

Kel's first psych behaved this way. He was very available,

responsive and so on for about three months, then seemed to tire of

Kel's ongoing " very unusual " (his words) reactions and side-effects

to the Prozac he'd prescribed for her. As he'd already told me, he

was uncomfortable prescribing any other SSRI for a young 5-year-old,

so maybe we were soon to be dumped. I had already identified another

psych I wanted Kel to see, so we exited at this point.

At least doctors who dismiss patients are saving you the time,

expense and trouble of figuring out on your own that the doctor's not

able to help. But a referral would be a nice touch.

Kathy R. in Indiana

[Guest guest]

Hi Vicki:

For those of us living in isolated rural areas we have to go very far to

get the right treatment for our kids. Steve would also tell me that all

was A-ok and no need to keep looking. So did the rest of my family. I am

very glad that I didn't listen to them and followed my heart and kept

looking for a good treatment team. It is a lot of work, I even considered

moving Steve and myself away from the family to get good treatment.

Hang in there Vicki, good luck, aloha, Kathy (H)

kathyh@...

At 10:36 PM 11/02/2000 -0700, you wrote:

>This is where we are right now too. Aggravating, as there isn't anybody

>else (that we haven't already tried) in 200 miles in any direction. But my

>daughter says the OCD isn't bothering her so much right now, so we'll see.

>Chrystal does not want to even discuss OCD with the counsellor right now,

> " there are other things more important " she says - but if she weren't so

>darn anxious about every little thing, the " other things " might not seem

> " so important. " And the counsellor hasn't shown me that she knows a darn

>thing about OCD anyway... Vicki in Montana

[Guest guest]

HI Kathy:

I don't think you are paranoid.

In the docs defense, one was leaving the country. But I do agree a

referral would have been nice. Another just wrote us a letter (quite cold

in my opinion) and one seemed to embarrassed after giving us the wrong

treatment to agree to continuing with us. Oh well, it's water under the

bridge now.

YOu are so right exiting does save us money, even when we are so desperate

for help that we would continue on a path that does not offer us solutions.

It took me ages to learn how to be a savvy consumer. Take care, aloha,

Kathy (H)

kathyh@...

At 02:52 PM 11/03/2000 +0000, you wrote:

>I find this incredible BUT have wondered before whether a doc who is

>suddenly very difficult to contact, won't return messages and so

>forth is trying to send a message. Or, am I just paranoid? (is that

>in the spectrum??! :-)

>

>Kel's first psych behaved this way. He was very available,

>responsive and so on for about three months, then seemed to tire of

>Kel's ongoing " very unusual " (his words) reactions and side-effects

>to the Prozac he'd prescribed for her. As he'd already told me, he

>was uncomfortable prescribing any other SSRI for a young 5-year-old,

>so maybe we were soon to be dumped. I had already identified another

>psych I wanted Kel to see, so we exited at this point.

>

>At least doctors who dismiss patients are saving you the time,

>expense and trouble of figuring out on your own that the doctor's not

>able to help. But a referral would be a nice touch.

>

>Kathy R. in Indiana

[Guest guest]

HI Kathy:

I don't think you are paranoid.

In the docs defense, one was leaving the country. But I do agree a

referral would have been nice. Another just wrote us a letter (quite cold

in my opinion) and one seemed to embarrassed after giving us the wrong

treatment to agree to continuing with us. Oh well, it's water under the

bridge now.

YOu are so right exiting does save us money, even when we are so desperate

for help that we would continue on a path that does not offer us solutions.

It took me ages to learn how to be a savvy consumer. Take care, aloha,

Kathy (H)

kathyh@...

At 02:52 PM 11/03/2000 +0000, you wrote:

>I find this incredible BUT have wondered before whether a doc who is

>suddenly very difficult to contact, won't return messages and so

>forth is trying to send a message. Or, am I just paranoid? (is that

>in the spectrum??! :-)

>

>Kel's first psych behaved this way. He was very available,

>responsive and so on for about three months, then seemed to tire of

>Kel's ongoing " very unusual " (his words) reactions and side-effects

>to the Prozac he'd prescribed for her. As he'd already told me, he

>was uncomfortable prescribing any other SSRI for a young 5-year-old,

>so maybe we were soon to be dumped. I had already identified another

>psych I wanted Kel to see, so we exited at this point.

>

>At least doctors who dismiss patients are saving you the time,

>expense and trouble of figuring out on your own that the doctor's not

>able to help. But a referral would be a nice touch.

>

>Kathy R. in Indiana

[Guest guest]

At 08:34 AM 11/3/00 -1000, you wrote:

>Hi Vicki:

>

>For those of us living in isolated rural areas we have to go very far to

>get the right treatment for our kids. Steve would also tell me that all

>was A-ok and no need to keep looking. So did the rest of my family. I am

>very glad that I didn't listen to them and followed my heart and kept

>looking for a good treatment team. It is a lot of work, I even considered

>moving Steve and myself away from the family to get good treatment.

>

>Hang in there Vicki, good luck, aloha, Kathy (H)

>kathyh@...

Thanks, Kathy --

I have considered (briefly) moving away from home with Chrystal but she

does graduate from highschool this spring & will be off to college in the

fall. She is counting the days! I am really hoping that she will seek out &

find treatment for the OCD (or let me help her!!) It is true that her OCD

is not at the levels that I've seen described by many on this list. But I

do believe that it permeates everything for her & heightens anxiety so that

she finds herself looking for reasons to be anxious & depressed -- so that

her feelings make sense to her & she doesn't have to believe that she is

" crazy. "

She does understand that she has OCD - in fact she diagnosed herself and

told me she needed help. But she does NOT want to discuss the particulars,

especially with me, because I seem to be the one in her life who is most

contaminated. :-( And I am the only one reading & reading & learning about

E & RP around here!

I was trying to explain this to my husband this morning - he thinks I am

" pushing " her to deal with the OCD, and she is not ready yet. Well, maybe.

But I told him how people on this list have said that when they finally got

appropriate treatment for the OCD, wonder of wonders, the other " stuff "

melted away. And in your descriptions of all your lives, I see the life my

family has been living. Like I told my husband - if you have measles, you

get rash & fever. If you have OCD, there are meltdowns & rituals &

comorbidities like depression & sensory issues & tics. Culture & family

dynamics & bad attitudes don't cause measles or OCD -- but they can

interfere with treatment.

Thanks for listening. As I explain my thought to you all, I understand them

better myself! :-) Teela - I'm so glad to read your new baby looks healthy!

Vicki in Montana

[Guest guest]

Vicky,

I could have written this myself...it is so similar to our

situation. At some point, I think I will try to give my daughter

more information on the therapy to share with her therapist. But I'm

afraid she won't really begin to deal with it until she sees the

need. I guess this is where they are like normal teens who sometimes

have to learn the hard way. I imagine that when the going gets

tough, they will know they can turn to us because we have shown

ourselves to be supportive and able to understand. My prayers are

with you.

Gwen in Oregon

> I have considered (briefly) moving away from home with Chrystal but

she

> does graduate from highschool this spring & will be off to college

in the

> fall. She is counting the days! I am really hoping that she will

seek out &

> find treatment for the OCD (or let me help her!!) It is true that

her OCD

> is not at the levels that I've seen described by many on this list.

But I

> do believe that it permeates everything for her & heightens anxiety

so that

> she finds herself looking for reasons to be anxious & depressed --

so that

> her feelings make sense to her & she doesn't have to believe that

she is

> " crazy. "

>

> She does understand that she has OCD - in fact she diagnosed

herself and

> told me she needed help. But she does NOT want to discuss the

particulars,

> especially with me, because I seem to be the one in her life who is

most

> contaminated. :-( And I am the only one reading & reading &

learning about

> E & RP around here!

>

> I was trying to explain this to my husband this morning - he thinks

I am

> " pushing " her to deal with the OCD, and she is not ready yet. Well,

maybe.

> But I told him how people on this list have said that when they

finally got

> appropriate treatment for the OCD, wonder of wonders, the other

" stuff "

> melted away. And in your descriptions of all your lives, I see the

life my

> family has been living. Like I told my husband - if you have

measles, you

> get rash & fever. If you have OCD, there are meltdowns & rituals &

> comorbidities like depression & sensory issues & tics. Culture &

family

> dynamics & bad attitudes don't cause measles or OCD -- but they can

> interfere with treatment.

>

> Thanks for listening. As I explain my thought to you all, I

understand them

> better myself! :-) Teela - I'm so glad to read your new baby

looks healthy!

>

> Vicki in Montana

[Guest guest]

Vicki:

Although it is my 12 yo with OCD, I see shadow syndromes in my almost 19 yo

daughter. She is a freshman this year (at Lawrence U for those of you in

Wisconsin), and is just coming out of a pretty severe depression precipitated by

thinking that her problems would all go away when she went to college. While I

had tried to convince her to talk to someone before she left, it wasn't until

she came to the realization on her own about 3 weeks ago that she took my advice

and went to the counseling center at school. You might pick up a copy of

Kissing Doorknobs and leave it around. It's about a teenager with ocd and she

might be able to relate to the story. I could also ask my daughter if she would

be willing to email your daughter. You can write me off list if she's

interested in talking to a peer.

Jule in Cleveland

[Guest guest]

Vicki:

Although it is my 12 yo with OCD, I see shadow syndromes in my almost 19 yo

daughter. She is a freshman this year (at Lawrence U for those of you in

Wisconsin), and is just coming out of a pretty severe depression precipitated by

thinking that her problems would all go away when she went to college. While I

had tried to convince her to talk to someone before she left, it wasn't until

she came to the realization on her own about 3 weeks ago that she took my advice

and went to the counseling center at school. You might pick up a copy of

Kissing Doorknobs and leave it around. It's about a teenager with ocd and she

might be able to relate to the story. I could also ask my daughter if she would

be willing to email your daughter. You can write me off list if she's

interested in talking to a peer.

Jule in Cleveland

[Guest guest]

Hey Dawn-

It is good to hear good news! When my husand and I split, I remember

how relaxed my house was without him.

Speaking of relaxed...my seven year old said her first real phrase to

me this weekend. On Saturday I was attempting to sleep in and

Kathleen walked in my room and said " get out of bed, mom.. " So I got

out of bed right away, talk about motivation!

Good luck in school, I'll be joining you sometime soon....

-- In Autism_in_Girls@y..., " Dawn D. " <dawndes@h...> wrote:

>

> Hi everyone! I've been quiet again. I've been reading

everything

> tho. It just seems like I have no time these days.

>

> Allie has changed dramatically since daddy moved out. It amazes

me.

> The tension is gone and so are most of her outbursts and aggressive

> behaviors. She's finally wearing undies, without promting from me,

and

> making it all day in school by using the potty. Needless to say,

I'm

> thrilled! Now if she'd just use the potty at home. *lol* She loves

> school and her teacher says she's doing great. She's also

transitioning

> well between our homes. We went to the Baltimore Inner Harbor the

other

> day and she actually used her words to tell me when she was tired

and

> needed to go home. It was such a nice change from her breaking

down and

> crying!

>

> Shelby misses her big sister very much while she's at school. We've

> added mommy and me gymnastics to our schedule to get her out and

about.

>

> I'm doing fine since Pat left. To lighten my daily load

(hahahaha!) I

> enrolled in Distance Education through Univ of land Univ

College to

> pick up an undergraduate certificate in Human Resources

Management. I'm

> starting with only one course. Everything is done online except

exams.

> I'm nervous about being back in school again. I already have

degrees in

> computers and psych, but I don't feel like I can walk back into a

real

> job and I won't settle for less. Shelby's only 2, so I still have

some

> time home with her where I won't have to work full time. In the

> meantime, I'm earning some extra money doing secret shopper

assignments.

> I love them because they are flexible in scheduling and they're

fun! It

> also never hurts to get paid to get your carpet cleaned or to go

out to

> dinner. =)

>

> Dawn

> Allie 4 PDDNOS & Shelby 2 NT

[Guest guest]

Boy, it's sure funny what happens when you boot the hubby out!!

I'm still happily married, but I have two close friends whose divorces were

finalized this year.

One of the moms, whose two children 7 and 9 have Attention Deficit, has

said to me since she parted with her hubby she was able to decorate the

house the way SHE wanted. She hasn't gotten a cold or has been rundown,

and when I see her she is smiling all the time and her house (which was

sparcely furnished due to hubby) is decorated beautifully and looks more

" homey " .

I never realized what an impact being unhappily married could have on everyone.

I feel for all of you, and I wish you and your children Happy, Healthy Lives!!

God Bless.

Visit iWon.com - the Internet's largest guaranteed cash giveaway! Click

here now for your " Thank You " gift:

http://www.iwon.com/giftcenter/0,2612,,00.html?t_id=20157

[Guest guest]

Hey! That's awesome! I'd be motivated to get out of bed too!! I hope

her speech continues to improve.

Dawn

> Speaking of relaxed...my seven year old said her first real phrase to

> me this weekend. On Saturday I was attempting to sleep in and

> Kathleen walked in my room and said " get out of bed, mom.. " So I got

> out of bed right away, talk about motivation!

>

[Guest guest]

Ok, I have to laugh here 'cause my house is now almost completely

redecorated. I still need a handful of things, but now I can decorate

the way I want to. =)

I went to my sisters wedding a few weeks ago and everyone commented on

how much happier I am. His leaving has made a huge difference in my

life.

Dawn

> One of the moms, whose two children 7 and 9 have Attention Deficit,

> has

> said to me since she parted with her hubby she was able to decorate

> the

> house the way SHE wanted. She hasn't gotten a cold or has been

> rundown,

> and when I see her she is smiling all the time and her house (which

> was

> sparcely furnished due to hubby) is decorated beautifully and looks

> more

> " homey " .

[Guest guest]

Dawn, and when you're happy, so are the kids!! I'm happy for you!

Visit iWon.com - the Internet's largest guaranteed cash giveaway! Click

here now for your " Thank You " gift:

http://www.iwon.com/giftcenter/0,2612,,00.html?t_id=20157

[Guest guest]

Dawn...

So cool!

Glad to hear things are going so well for you and the girls!

Penny-------------------------------------------------------- " Just remember this: Plenty of Horsepower, No Traction " - R. S. on

" If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away. " --Henry Thoreau

[Guest guest]

Hey Dawn- Thanks for checking in. I hope to be joining you in school

sometime soon. For me it will be nursing school. I've started

homeschooling Bridget and it's going well. It you don't count

Bridget asking when it's going to be Sept., " can I go to school? "

and " can I go on the bus " . LOL We had prepared her last spring for

the big transition this fall and obviously it worked!! I could

really use less tension...must be nice...I'm glad things are going so

well for you and the girls!!!! Keep up the good work and study

hard.

Deanna

>

> Ok, I have to laugh here 'cause my house is now almost completely

> redecorated. I still need a handful of things, but now I can

decorate

> the way I want to. =)

>

> I went to my sisters wedding a few weeks ago and everyone commented

on

> how much happier I am. His leaving has made a huge difference in my

> life.

>

> Dawn

>

> > One of the moms, whose two children 7 and 9 have Attention

Deficit,

> > has

> > said to me since she parted with her hubby she was able to

decorate

> > the

> > house the way SHE wanted. She hasn't gotten a cold or has been

> > rundown,

> > and when I see her she is smiling all the time and her house

(which

> > was

> > sparcely furnished due to hubby) is decorated beautifully and

looks

> > more

> > " homey " .

[Guest guest]

WOW -- a spontaneous phrase like that is great!

Doesn't it just thrill your heart?! Something that

most parent don't get to appreciate -- communication.

Tamara

--- tamer2620@... wrote:

> Hey Dawn-

>

> It is good to hear good news! When my husand and I

> split, I remember

> how relaxed my house was without him.

>

> Speaking of relaxed...my seven year old said her

> first real phrase to

> me this weekend. On Saturday I was attempting to

> sleep in and

> Kathleen walked in my room and said " get out of bed,

> mom.. " So I got

> out of bed right away, talk about motivation!

>

> Good luck in school, I'll be joining you sometime

> soon....

>

> -- In Autism_in_Girls@y..., " Dawn D. " <dawndes@h...>

> wrote:

> >

> > Hi everyone! I've been quiet again. I've been

> reading

> everything

> > tho. It just seems like I have no time these

> days.

> >

> > Allie has changed dramatically since daddy moved

> out. It amazes

> me.

> > The tension is gone and so are most of her

> outbursts and aggressive

> > behaviors. She's finally wearing undies, without

> promting from me,

> and

> > making it all day in school by using the potty.

> Needless to say,

> I'm

> > thrilled! Now if she'd just use the potty at

> home. *lol* She loves

> > school and her teacher says she's doing great.

> She's also

> transitioning

> > well between our homes. We went to the Baltimore

> Inner Harbor the

> other

> > day and she actually used her words to tell me

> when she was tired

> and

> > needed to go home. It was such a nice change from

> her breaking

> down and

> > crying!

> >

> > Shelby misses her big sister very much while she's

> at school. We've

> > added mommy and me gymnastics to our schedule to

> get her out and

> about.

> >

> > I'm doing fine since Pat left. To lighten my

> daily load

> (hahahaha!) I

> > enrolled in Distance Education through Univ of

> land Univ

> College to

> > pick up an undergraduate certificate in Human

> Resources

> Management. I'm

> > starting with only one course. Everything is done

> online except

> exams.

> > I'm nervous about being back in school again. I

> already have

> degrees in

> > computers and psych, but I don't feel like I can

> walk back into a

> real

> > job and I won't settle for less. Shelby's only 2,

> so I still have

> some

> > time home with her where I won't have to work full

> time. In the

> > meantime, I'm earning some extra money doing

> secret shopper

> assignments.

> > I love them because they are flexible in

> scheduling and they're

> fun! It

> > also never hurts to get paid to get your carpet

> cleaned or to go

> out to

> > dinner. =)

> >

> > Dawn

> > Allie 4 PDDNOS & Shelby 2 NT

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi

I have spells of severe dizziness, and you're right, it gets worse if you fight it. I have many things wrong with me and I am in a wheelchair and do just sit and feel like a limp lump, but I know I'm here for a reason. I stopped feeling guilty about doing nothing. I've learned to accept me as I am, because I still have a mind that works well, and hands that can type. I spend a lot of time on the computer talking to others that have problems. This helps all of us to feel better. On good days I help them and on bad days I let them know so they help me.

My home is arranged so that I can walk where I have to go by hanging on to walls. I don't feel so helpless that way. I use the wheelchair when I go to the Dr. I haven't been out of the house except to go to the Dr. for 2 1/2 years. My chair flipped over two weeks ago and I have a very sore tail bone now. The fire department had to come at 3:00AM to pick me up. I feel that we do get down but keeping positive really does help. Your husband loves you and helps you. When I first got sick my husband of 34 years told me he didn't love me anymore and was not going to take care of me. Well he can't do enough for me now, and can't tell me enough that he loves me and admires the way I handle things. So there is hope. I'm not really patting myself on the back, I'm trying to let you know it can work for you. Make peace with yourself and it will come together. I'm hoping this helps.

(((((Caring Hugs)))))

Carolyn

[Guest guest]

(((((((((()))))))))))))))

Nice to hear from you. I've been quiet myself. I'm *okay*...have a (possibly) new boyfriend...the potential for something to grow is there, I think we are both just a bit gun shy.

I guess I'm checking in, too. I'm here, just not real talkative.

Checking in...

Heyla all,

Yeah, I know... you haven't heard from me in months or heard OF me :-)

I've been very busy with adjusting to married life, our first set of holidays together, in-laws building a new home and all that THAT entails, work, and... of course, the thing that makes me a part of this list, Hydrops (an inner ear/vestibular/balance disorder).

I have to talk with someone who understands about being ill. I know my hubby understands and loves me in many ways, as well as his family, but... *sigh*...

I love my work, I love the fact that this company is willing to let me work at home for the majority of the time; but what I hate about it is that I feel as if I'm not doing my job well. The network is very slow so it takes forever to input my invoices, and half the time I'm so out of it that... they don't even make sense to me.

I've been telling myself for months that I should just give my notice and be done with it. Surrender to the fact that, for the most part, I'm always going to be unfocused, in a brain fog, dizzy, and just plain out of it.

Yes, I have a doctor; yes, I'm on medication; however... there are many people who just can't function normally do to this condition and... maybe I'm one of them. But... than there are times when I'm doing just fine (well... I'm still dizzy, but at least I can DO something) and I feel like, during my bad times, I'm just being lazy and such and if I just pushed myself to do it better and worked harder, I know that everything would be ok.

.... But when I push myself in those bad times, I feel even worse.

So... here I sit... a bump on the log of life.

I HATE THIS THING. Sometimes I feel it would be so much easier or better if I were in a wheelchair or something. But I know it wouldn't and I would hate it just the same.

*sigh*

Feeling fragile and utterly worthless...

s Portland, OR USA

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ The Being Sick CommunityMemorial Pagehttp://www.dreamwater.net/lovingmemory/Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:-/messagesChat:- Scheduled Daily Chats at # on IRC DALnet./files/chat.htmBookmarks:-Add a website URL you have found useful./linksPersonal Complaints or problems:-Please contact a moderator email: -owner Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit:- /joinTo subscribe or unsubscribe please email:--subscribe -unsubscribe ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to let go." - Pueblo Prayer~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

,

Being sick is something we are all dealing with, and it is such a tough job, isn't it? Portland? Oh, I was born and raised in SE Portland. Attended Centennial HS in Gresham, had my first house in Tigard. I wish I could go home, I hate California, but Oregonians hate my license plate. I'd like to put my old Oregon ones back on when I drive through Oregon. Especially Astoria. Really, you are quite lucky to have a job that would let you work at home, I have had to quit, and I feel like such a bump on the couch. I know that doesn't help, just thought I'd throw it in. Hydrops is similar to menieres isn't it? I've heard of it....I have mondini's dysplasia....a deformity of the cochlea. The being sick blues.....we all get it. It is so normal, but doesn't feel normal in any sense of the word. The best advice I can give, is vent vent vent to this group. You can scream and yell and scream and yell profanities if you like...we all go through this, and it sure is tough. I'm glad that you have a great support network...it is a good start. Do you like to be creative? Is there some way to express your dizziness through crafts? That sure has helped my mother. She is so crafty it makes me jealous. Wish I had a magic solution for you, but I do know that talking these things out helps. Good luck

-- Checking in...

Heyla all,

Yeah, I know... you haven't heard from me in months or heard OF me :-)

I've been very busy with adjusting to married life, our first set of holidays together, in-laws building a new home and all that THAT entails, work, and... of course, the thing that makes me a part of this list, Hydrops (an inner ear/vestibular/balance disorder).

I have to talk with someone who understands about being ill. I know my hubby understands and loves me in many ways, as well as his family, but... *sigh*...

I love my work, I love the fact that this company is willing to let me work at home for the majority of the time; but what I hate about it is that I feel as if I'm not doing my job well. The network is very slow so it takes forever to input my invoices, and half the time I'm so out of it that... they don't even make sense to me.

I've been telling myself for months that I should just give my notice and be done with it. Surrender to the fact that, for the most part, I'm always going to be unfocused, in a brain fog, dizzy, and just plain out of it.

Yes, I have a doctor; yes, I'm on medication; however... there are many people who just can't function normally do to this condition and... maybe I'm one of them. But... than there are times when I'm doing just fine (well... I'm still dizzy, but at least I can DO something) and I feel like, during my bad times, I'm just being lazy and such and if I just pushed myself to do it better and worked harder, I know that everything would be ok.

.... But when I push myself in those bad times, I feel even worse.

So... here I sit... a bump on the log of life.

I HATE THIS THING. Sometimes I feel it would be so much easier or better if I were in a wheelchair or something. But I know it wouldn't and I would hate it just the same.

*sigh*

Feeling fragile and utterly worthless...

s Portland, OR USA

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ The Being Sick CommunityMemorial Pagehttp://www.dreamwater.net/lovingmemory/Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:-/messagesChat:- Scheduled Daily Chats at # on IRC DALnet./files/chat.htmBookmarks:-Add a website URL you have found useful./linksPersonal Complaints or problems:-Please contact a moderator email: -owner Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit:- /joinTo subscribe or unsubscribe please email:--subscribe -unsubscribe ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to let go." - Pueblo Prayer~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~