The Blame Game

May 31, 2005

Hi everybody!

I am so happy that I have some comparisons to make

here...

I have been reading through a few posts since my

subscription to your

group and I can find a lot of similarities with my son.

From

a smiling little boy who knew how to speak and count very

young,we are going through a nightmare.

He said to

today that he wished that he would be autistic, so he

could hide himself in his little world.

***************Welcome, I’ll I can

tell you is my son was sweet as well until his Ps. experience. We took him out

in fifth grade as the handwriting was on the wall, and he was going down hill

fast. I know this is not an option for everyone. From talking with people and

being in e-mail groups I have noticed the kids with higher IQ’s,

Asperger’s, do best in small group, alternative settings. I can tell you,

that one boy I know of was a different kid in a week of being in an

alternative, small private school. The school is only 20 kids, all ages. In the

AM the kids have work assigned to their individual needs and in the afternoon

they all participate in art, music, theatre something like this. By chance is

there anything like this in your area? Some schools have scholarships

available. Sometimes if the PS. can not meet the child’s needs, and will

admit this , they will pay. You might want to call a

meeting before school gets out and be honest about the situation, and ask the

group for ideas on how to go about helping your son. Go in with a let’s

work together attitude. If this does not produce any satisfactory results then

you write a formal letter stating you will be contacting your state(province?) civil rights organization. In Vt. any

complaint to the State Civil Rights board must be investigated by a State

lawyer. Complaints are taken seriously. If you do write you need to list

problems very clearly and get to the point. My husband who works for the State,

says to clearly state what has gone on. Civil Rights offices are very busy and

you need to make your concerns clear and also have options in mind. I am not

sure you are at this point but I am putting this out for others as well. Time

and time again I have seen the schools that seem to work for these kids seem to

be very small, alternative(Not for behavior problem

kids) or Home School. Check out www.orionacademy.org

If I were in Calif. and could afford it, this is where my son would be. We have a

school in Vt. ,Rutland Learning Cnt., which I know parents have been happy with when

their kids were going down fast. There are 20 kids in the school. Check into

the alternatives, as it doesn’t sound like where your son is at now is

going to work……Gail, ,12

Life

is not easy...We have been in touch with a couple of people, but

they were not assessing AS.

In the mean

time, life is not easy.

Anybody in Canada?

May 31, 2005

Thanks Gail for the encouragement.

We have found out yesterday that he skipped school. What disturbs me

is that the school has not called us as they usually do.

He told me that he did not want to go,because of this and that.

What disturbs me the most is that he tried to make me believe that he

went. He usually does not do that.

I read yesterday an article saying that kids with autistic problem

should abstain from gluten and dairies and sweets and cafeine.

Well, the problem is that this is almost all the foods that he likes

and we have no way to control him.

About alternative schools, I did research it and it does not seem

that there are any in our district.

I know that it would work better for him.

Yesterday was really frustating. The insults that came out of his

mouth are unbearable. Sometime, I feel so depressed ...

Still,until I am sure that this is really the problem he has, I am

wondering still if he does not have simply difficult times in his

adolescence. There are a few things that seem a bit different.

Gail, can you describe your son`s character if it is not too much to

ask? It would help me tremendously.

Lolo

We have found out aht

>

> Hi everybody!

> I am so happy that I have some comparisons to make here...

> I have been reading through a few posts since my subscription to

your

> group and I can find a lot of similarities with my son.

>

> From a smiling little boy who knew how to speak and count very

> young,we are going through a nightmare.

> He said to today that he wished that he would be autistic, so he

> could hide himself in his little world.

>

> ***************Welcome, I'll I can tell you is my son was sweet as

well

> until his Ps. experience. We took him out in fifth grade as the

> handwriting was on the wall, and he was going down hill fast. I know

> this is not an option for everyone. From talking with people and

being

> in e-mail groups I have noticed the kids with higher IQ's,

Asperger's,

> do best in small group, alternative settings. I can tell you, that

one

> boy I know of was a different kid in a week of being in an

alternative,

> small private school. The school is only 20 kids, all ages. In the

AM

> the kids have work assigned to their individual needs and in the

> afternoon they all participate in art, music, theatre something like

> this. By chance is there anything like this in your area? Some

schools

> have scholarships available. Sometimes if the PS. can not meet the

> child's needs, and will admit this , they will pay. You might want

to

> call a meeting before school gets out and be honest about the

situation,

> and ask the group for ideas on how to go about helping your son. Go

in

> with a let's work together attitude. If this does not produce any

> satisfactory results then you write a formal letter stating you

will be

> contacting your state(province?) civil rights organization. In Vt.

any

> complaint to the State Civil Rights board must be investigated by a

> State lawyer. Complaints are taken seriously. If you do write you

need

> to list problems very clearly and get to the point. My husband who

works

> for the State, says to clearly state what has gone on. Civil Rights

> offices are very busy and you need to make your concerns clear and

also

> have options in mind. I am not sure you are at this point but I am

> putting this out for others as well. Time and time again I have

seen the

> schools that seem to work for these kids seem to be very small,

> alternative(Not for behavior problem kids) or Home School. Check out

> www.orionacademy.org <http://www.orionacademy.org/> If I were in

Calif.

> and could afford it, this is where my son would be. We have a

school in

> Vt. ,Rutland Learning Cnt., which I know parents have been happy

with

> when their kids were going down fast. There are 20 kids in the

school.

> Check into the alternatives, as it doesn't sound like where your

son is

> at now is going to work..Gail, ,12

>

> Life is not easy...We have been in touch with a couple of people,

but

> they were not assessing AS.

> In the mean time, life is not easy.

> Anybody in Canada?

May 31, 2005

Lolo

I dont know if you have tried it already or have even heard about it. Have you tried cod liver oil or vitamin therapy?? My son is on a supplement called Behavior Balance and is taking Cod liver oil and we have seen tremendous improvement in his mood, repetative behaviors, coping skills, etc.. It is definately worth looking into. He is much calmer and happier and is not constantly telling me the same things over and over again which is nice for me . Definately look into it... It may help but speak with your sons doctor about supplementation.. Good Luck!!

in Lancaster, Ca

lolo52 <lolo52@...> wrote:

Thanks Gail for the encouragement. We have found out yesterday that he skipped school. What disturbs me is that the school has not called us as they usually do.He told me that he did not want to go,because of this and that.What disturbs me the most is that he tried to make me believe that he went. He usually does not do that.I read yesterday an article saying that kids with autistic problem should abstain from gluten and dairies and sweets and cafeine.Well, the problem is that this is almost all the foods that he likes and we have no way to control him.About alternative schools, I did research it and it does not seem that there are any in our district.I know that it would work better for him.Yesterday was really frustating. The insults that came out of his mouth are unbearable. Sometime, I feel so depressed

....Still,until I am sure that this is really the problem he has, I am wondering still if he does not have simply difficult times in his adolescence. There are a few things that seem a bit different.Gail, can you describe your son`s character if it is not too much to ask? It would help me tremendously.LoloWe have found out aht> > > Hi everybody!> I am so happy that I have some comparisons to make here...> I have been reading through a few posts since my subscription to your > group and I can find a lot of similarities with my son.> > > From a smiling little boy who knew how to speak and count very > young,we are going through a nightmare.> He said to today that he wished that he would be autistic, so he > could hide himself in his little world.>

> ***************Welcome, I'll I can tell you is my son was sweet as well> until his Ps. experience. We took him out in fifth grade as the> handwriting was on the wall, and he was going down hill fast. I know> this is not an option for everyone. From talking with people and being> in e-mail groups I have noticed the kids with higher IQ's, Asperger's,> do best in small group, alternative settings. I can tell you, that one> boy I know of was a different kid in a week of being in an alternative,> small private school. The school is only 20 kids, all ages. In the AM> the kids have work assigned to their individual needs and in the> afternoon they all participate in art, music, theatre something like> this. By chance is there anything like this in your area? Some schools> have scholarships available. Sometimes if the PS. can not meet the> child's needs, and will admit

this , they will pay. You might want to> call a meeting before school gets out and be honest about the situation,> and ask the group for ideas on how to go about helping your son. Go in> with a let's work together attitude. If this does not produce any> satisfactory results then you write a formal letter stating you will be> contacting your state(province?) civil rights organization. In Vt. any> complaint to the State Civil Rights board must be investigated by a> State lawyer. Complaints are taken seriously. If you do write you need> to list problems very clearly and get to the point. My husband who works> for the State, says to clearly state what has gone on. Civil Rights> offices are very busy and you need to make your concerns clear and also> have options in mind. I am not sure you are at this point but I am> putting this out for others as well. Time and time again

I have seen the> schools that seem to work for these kids seem to be very small,> alternative(Not for behavior problem kids) or Home School. Check out> www.orionacademy.org <http://www.orionacademy.org/> If I were in Calif.> and could afford it, this is where my son would be. We have a school in> Vt. ,Rutland Learning Cnt., which I know parents have been happy with> when their kids were going down fast. There are 20 kids in the school.> Check into the alternatives, as it doesn't sound like where your son is> at now is going to work..Gail, ,12 > > > Life is not easy...We have been in touch with a couple of people, but > they were not assessing AS.> In the mean time, life is not easy.> Anybody in Canada?__________________________________________________

May 31, 2005

I have bought some cod liver at one point, it is still in my pantry

with a bunch of other vitamins. I tried to give it to him,but I have

found out that he was spitting them out.

Is it only cod oil that you are giving, what else is part of that

system?

Lolo

> >

> > Hi everybody!

> > I am so happy that I have some comparisons to make here...

> > I have been reading through a few posts since my subscription to

> your

> > group and I can find a lot of similarities with my son.

> >

> > From a smiling little boy who knew how to speak and count very

> > young,we are going through a nightmare.

> > He said to today that he wished that he would be autistic, so he

> > could hide himself in his little world.

> >

> > ***************Welcome, I'll I can tell you is my son was sweet

as

> well

> > until his Ps. experience. We took him out in fifth grade as the

> > handwriting was on the wall, and he was going down hill fast. I

know

> > this is not an option for everyone. From talking with people and

> being

> > in e-mail groups I have noticed the kids with higher IQ's,

> Asperger's,

> > do best in small group, alternative settings. I can tell you,

that

> one

> > boy I know of was a different kid in a week of being in an

> alternative,

> > small private school. The school is only 20 kids, all ages. In

the

> AM

> > the kids have work assigned to their individual needs and in the

> > afternoon they all participate in art, music, theatre something

like

> > this. By chance is there anything like this in your area? Some

> schools

> > have scholarships available. Sometimes if the PS. can not meet the

> > child's needs, and will admit this , they will pay. You might

want

> to

> > call a meeting before school gets out and be honest about the

> situation,

> > and ask the group for ideas on how to go about helping your son.

Go

> in

> > with a let's work together attitude. If this does not produce any

> > satisfactory results then you write a formal letter stating you

> will be

> > contacting your state(province?) civil rights organization. In

Vt.

> any

> > complaint to the State Civil Rights board must be investigated by

a

> > State lawyer. Complaints are taken seriously. If you do write you

> need

> > to list problems very clearly and get to the point. My husband

who

> works

> > for the State, says to clearly state what has gone on. Civil

Rights

> > offices are very busy and you need to make your concerns clear

and

> also

> > have options in mind. I am not sure you are at this point but I am

> > putting this out for others as well. Time and time again I have

> seen the

> > schools that seem to work for these kids seem to be very small,

> > alternative(Not for behavior problem kids) or Home School. Check

out

> > www.orionacademy.org <http://www.orionacademy.org/> If I were in

> Calif.

> > and could afford it, this is where my son would be. We have a

> school in

> > Vt. ,Rutland Learning Cnt., which I know parents have been happy

> with

> > when their kids were going down fast. There are 20 kids in the

> school.

> > Check into the alternatives, as it doesn't sound like where your

> son is

> > at now is going to work..Gail, ,12

> >

> > Life is not easy...We have been in touch with a couple of people,

> but

> > they were not assessing AS.

> > In the mean time, life is not easy.

> > Anybody in Canada?

>

> ---------------------------------

>

June 1, 2005

It is hard to get it down but he takes it. I ususally mix it in a yogurt beverage. He doesnt really notice it that way. I am also giving him a supplement called Behavior Balance. He seems to be doing better with these 2 additions. Not as repetative thats for sure. He is calmer and sleeps better as well. Although I do also have him on an excercise regimen as well. He runs on the treadmill for about 40 minutes a day. It burns up alot of his pent up energy. We have noticed less mood swings since he started that. I just pop a tv in front of him, put on "The Incredibles" and he just runs his little butt off. You may want to consider easing him into some kind of physical activity as well. He has had the most improvement since we have started doing these 3 things. Cod liver oil, Behavior balance and rigorous excercise. Its worth a shot. Initially starting it is difficult but once it becomes part of the daily routine it is no problem... Hope this helps if you decide to try it.

in Lancaster, Calolo52 <lolo52@...> wrote:

I have bought some cod liver at one point, it is still in my pantry with a bunch of other vitamins. I tried to give it to him,but I have found out that he was spitting them out.Is it only cod oil that you are giving, what else is part of that system?Lolo> > > > > > Hi everybody!> > I am so happy that I have some comparisons to make here...> > I have been reading through a few posts since my subscription to > your > > group and I can find a lot of similarities with my son.> >

> > > > From a smiling little boy who knew how to speak and count very > > young,we are going through a nightmare.> > He said to today that he wished that he would be autistic, so he > > could hide himself in his little world.> > > > ***************Welcome, I'll I can tell you is my son was sweet as > well> > until his Ps. experience. We took him out in fifth grade as the> > handwriting was on the wall, and he was going down hill fast. I know> > this is not an option for everyone. From talking with people and > being> > in e-mail groups I have noticed the kids with higher IQ's, > Asperger's,> > do best in small group, alternative settings. I can tell you, that > one> > boy I know of was a different kid in a week of being in an > alternative,> > small private school. The school is only 20 kids,

all ages. In the > AM> > the kids have work assigned to their individual needs and in the> > afternoon they all participate in art, music, theatre something like> > this. By chance is there anything like this in your area? Some > schools> > have scholarships available. Sometimes if the PS. can not meet the> > child's needs, and will admit this , they will pay. You might want > to> > call a meeting before school gets out and be honest about the > situation,> > and ask the group for ideas on how to go about helping your son. Go > in> > with a let's work together attitude. If this does not produce any> > satisfactory results then you write a formal letter stating you > will be> > contacting your state(province?) civil rights organization. In Vt. > any> > complaint to the State Civil Rights board must be

investigated by a> > State lawyer. Complaints are taken seriously. If you do write you > need> > to list problems very clearly and get to the point. My husband who > works> > for the State, says to clearly state what has gone on. Civil Rights> > offices are very busy and you need to make your concerns clear and > also> > have options in mind. I am not sure you are at this point but I am> > putting this out for others as well. Time and time again I have > seen the> > schools that seem to work for these kids seem to be very small,> > alternative(Not for behavior problem kids) or Home School. Check out> > www.orionacademy.org <http://www.orionacademy.org/> If I were in > Calif.> > and could afford it, this is where my son would be. We have a > school in> > Vt.

,Rutland Learning Cnt., which I know parents have been happy > with> > when their kids were going down fast. There are 20 kids in the > school.> > Check into the alternatives, as it doesn't sound like where your > son is> > at now is going to work..Gail, ,12 > > > > > > Life is not easy...We have been in touch with a couple of people, > but > > they were not assessing AS.> > In the mean time, life is not easy.> > Anybody in Canada?> > > > > --------------------------------->

June 1, 2005

If it is just for the Omega 3's then flax oil is a good alternative. It doesn't taste good but it is better than fish oil.lolo52 <lolo52@...> wrote:

I have bought some cod liver at one point,

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04__________________________________________________

June 1, 2005

Not just for the Omega 3's which are great but also for the vitamin A. Some of these kids dont readily absorb other forms of it. carol sobczak <cpsobczak@...> wrote:

If it is just for the Omega 3's then flax oil is a good alternative. It doesn't taste good but it is better than fish oil.lolo52 <lolo52@...> wrote: I have bought some cod liver at one point,

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

__________________________________________________

June 2, 2005

Re:

The Blame Game

Still,

until I am sure that this is really the problem he has, I am

wondering still if he does not have simply difficult times

in his

adolescence.

There are a few things that seem a bit different.

Gail, can

you describe your son`s character if it is not too much to

ask? It

would help me tremendously.

Lolo

***************Hi Lolo, just getting back

to you as has been very sick for the past 5 days. He is coming around

today and is on an anti-biotic. When he is sick he likes me to “sit”

with him. I sure am behind in work, but watching Gunsmoke reruns from the 60’s

was actually nice to do. You asked about his character. He was not diagnosed

until almost 10 and as soon as I read up on Asperger’s I said, sounds

just like . However, he is very social if he likes the person. He fit the ‘little

professor’ image and the rule follower. From a very young age he had

special interests and learned everything he could about them. Did your son do

this? At 4 it was the solar system, tanks, anatomy. Before that was Tank

and trains at 1 year on for quite some time. He lined up his toys, especially

soldiers. He would make what he called ‘set ups’. Of course once

they were complete no one was supposed to move them. He was quiet, serious and

sensitive. Skipping forward at almost 13 he is still a nice boy. However, he is

apt to see ”the glass half full”. He has

no tolerance for little kids and calls them “little twerps”. He

sputters under his breathe about them, and if they speak to him he usually will

say nothing. He tells me “it’s better that way”. At 12 he

does stand out more so as different when there are group dynamics going on. If

he had continued in P.S. he would have been in trouble, because he was to the

point of not taking bull anymore. The Principal and teachers have told me they

miss him, but he seems much better. He does complain a lot. He complains about

almost everything I give him for school work, but then we compromise and he

does the work and actually enjoys some of it. He loves to read so I am very

lucky as certain subjects like History he just does because he is interested. He

does get very nerved up even when he is enjoying

himself. Therefore I can not picture him in P.S. The music teacher asked him to

play the theme song to the Flintstones the other day and he refused (hates the

song). The teacher was OK with this and is very tolerant of ’s ways.

What are your sons interests? Could the school work

off these or are they and your son to busy butting heads right now? I feel bad

for your son. He needs a different program. Is there anyone at the school he

likes? Just wondering if he could sit down and work out a

plan for his education. He’s at the age that trying to force him

most likely won’t work. Would he outline something for you? When was

in 4th grade and crashing we asked him to write a couple thoughts he

had on how to make school better for him. He wrote “teach me something I

don’t already know”. It was really quite sad. I bet your son feels

like this. What grade is he in? My best, Gail

June 2, 2005

Thanks for the tips. I have been giving him the cod oil for two days

now and he is taking it... I told him it was good for his brain,so it

works for now. Exercise wise, it would be a bit more difficult. He

likes biking but as he does not have many friends, and he does not

want to go alone, his exercise level has gone down. I don't own a

stationary bike, but it could be a good idea.

Lorraine

> > >

> > > Hi everybody!

> > > I am so happy that I have some comparisons to make here...

> > > I have been reading through a few posts since my subscription

to

> > your

> > > group and I can find a lot of similarities with my son.

> > >

> > > From a smiling little boy who knew how to speak and count very

> > > young,we are going through a nightmare.

> > > He said to today that he wished that he would be autistic, so

he

> > > could hide himself in his little world.

> > >

> > > ***************Welcome, I'll I can tell you is my son was sweet

> as

> > well

> > > until his Ps. experience. We took him out in fifth grade as the

> > > handwriting was on the wall, and he was going down hill fast. I

> know

> > > this is not an option for everyone. From talking with people

and

> > being

> > > in e-mail groups I have noticed the kids with higher IQ's,

> > Asperger's,

> > > do best in small group, alternative settings. I can tell you,

> that

> > one

> > > boy I know of was a different kid in a week of being in an

> > alternative,

> > > small private school. The school is only 20 kids, all ages. In

> the

> > AM

> > > the kids have work assigned to their individual needs and in the

> > > afternoon they all participate in art, music, theatre something

> like

> > > this. By chance is there anything like this in your area? Some

> > schools

> > > have scholarships available. Sometimes if the PS. can not meet

the

> > > child's needs, and will admit this , they will pay. You might

> want

> > to

> > > call a meeting before school gets out and be honest about the

> > situation,

> > > and ask the group for ideas on how to go about helping your

son.

> Go

> > in

> > > with a let's work together attitude. If this does not produce

any

> > > satisfactory results then you write a formal letter stating you

> > will be

> > > contacting your state(province?) civil rights organization. In

> Vt.

> > any

> > > complaint to the State Civil Rights board must be investigated

by

> a

> > > State lawyer. Complaints are taken seriously. If you do write

you

> > need

> > > to list problems very clearly and get to the point. My husband

> who

> > works

> > > for the State, says to clearly state what has gone on. Civil

> Rights

> > > offices are very busy and you need to make your concerns clear

> and

> > also

> > > have options in mind. I am not sure you are at this point but I

am

> > > putting this out for others as well. Time and time again I have

> > seen the

> > > schools that seem to work for these kids seem to be very small,

> > > alternative(Not for behavior problem kids) or Home School.

Check

> out

> > > www.orionacademy.org <http://www.orionacademy.org/> If I were

in

> > Calif.

> > > and could afford it, this is where my son would be. We have a

> > school in

> > > Vt. ,Rutland Learning Cnt., which I know parents have been

happy

> > with

> > > when their kids were going down fast. There are 20 kids in the

> > school.

> > > Check into the alternatives, as it doesn't sound like where

your

> > son is

> > > at now is going to work..Gail, ,12

> > >

> > > Life is not easy...We have been in touch with a couple of

people,

> > but

> > > they were not assessing AS.

> > > In the mean time, life is not easy.

> > > Anybody in Canada?

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> >

June 2, 2005

Hi Gail,

I see a lot of similarities in our two boys.

When he was young, before I sent him to daycare for the three first

years, he was the happiest kid in the world.

He was into ``The Land before time``movies. One day,he just repeated

the whole movie, scene after scene with intonations and dialogues. We

were simply amazed. From that, he got very deep in dinosaurs, knew

everything about it, then it was volcanoes. For the last two years up

until this year, he was playing historical,strategic games, he knew

everything about Greek civilizations, Roman,etc... and he was

impressing the teachers: English and History teachers. That is

when,last year they asked us to have him evaluated for IQ. He wrote a

long story about fictive civilizations, but was not happy with the

results, he is very critical of himself.

It was still going pretty good in school last year, because he liked

most of the teachers and respected their knowledge.

The tests at the psychologist revealed that he had High verbal skills

and very high memory skills, but could not understand social

issues,that he was very aloof and if he did not recognize

intelligence, he would not request help from adults. When we had been

made aware of Asperger`s syndrome, we called the psychologist to ask

if that would have not been overlooked, and they said catergorically,

that he did not fit the character of an AS. So, we forgot about it.

This year, with teenage, he wants justice and wants everybody who has

been bullying him to pay for what they did. So, he has bouts of

anger,because most of the time he does takes his fits at home,but

also he did have fits in school with teachers who don't seem to

respect him and other students who have been bullying him. He is

always the one to get caught,because he is not subtle, but

straightforward.

Right now, his interests are in some boards on the web, where people

do not know who he is and how old he is: he talks about his topics of

interest without restriction: Religion,History,and video games.

He still plays with legos to my horror. His bedroom is like a

battlefield with soldiers and pieces all over the floor. He builds

his society with legos and has control over his world.

He has only one friend who comes from time to time in the week-end.

He thinks that he is not at his level intellectually,but at least he

is looking up to him and don't put him down.

He really wants to have friends, and yes another thing, he does not

like girls. Well, does not feel comfortable at all with them. I would

not be surprised if he was going to remain single. I know it is a bit

early,but.

We have seen a school this week which is an alternative school,small

classes, but they do not have any room for September. They have a

waiting list, so we will go for it. It would be the best.

Thanks girls for listening to me in my bad English ( French is my

first language !!!)

Lolo

>

> Re: The Blame Game

>

> Still, until I am sure that this is really the problem he has, I am

> wondering still if he does not have simply difficult times in his

> adolescence. There are a few things that seem a bit different.

> Gail, can you describe your son`s character if it is not too much

to

> ask? It would help me tremendously.

> Lolo

>

> ***************Hi Lolo, just getting back to you as has been

very

> sick for the past 5 days. He is coming around today and is on an

> anti-biotic. When he is sick he likes me to " sit " with him. I sure

am

> behind in work, but watching Gunsmoke reruns from the 60's was

actually

> nice to do. You asked about his character. He was not diagnosed

until

> almost 10 and as soon as I read up on Asperger's I said, sounds just

> like . However, he is very social if he likes the person. He

fit the

> 'little professor' image and the rule follower. From a very young

age he

> had special interests and learned everything he could about them.

Did

> your son do this? At 4 it was the solar system, tanks, anatomy.

Before

> that was Tank and trains at 1 year on for quite some time. He

> lined up his toys, especially soldiers. He would make what he called

> 'set ups'. Of course once they were complete no one was supposed to

move

> them. He was quiet, serious and sensitive. Skipping forward at

almost 13

> he is still a nice boy. However, he is apt to see " the glass half

full " .

> He has no tolerance for little kids and calls them " little twerps " .

He

> sputters under his breathe about them, and if they speak to him he

> usually will say nothing. He tells me " it's better that way " . At 12

he

> does stand out more so as different when there are group dynamics

going

> on. If he had continued in P.S. he would have been in trouble,

because

> he was to the point of not taking bull anymore. The Principal and

> teachers have told me they miss him, but he seems much better. He

does

> complain a lot. He complains about almost everything I give him for

> school work, but then we compromise and he does the work and

actually

> enjoys some of it. He loves to read so I am very lucky as certain

> subjects like History he just does because he is interested. He

does get

> very nerved up even when he is enjoying himself. Therefore I can not

> picture him in P.S. The music teacher asked him to play the theme

song

> to the Flintstones the other day and he refused (hates the song).

The

> teacher was OK with this and is very tolerant of 's ways. What

are

> your sons interests? Could the school work off these or are they and

> your son to busy butting heads right now? I feel bad for your son.

He

> needs a different program. Is there anyone at the school he likes?

Just

> wondering if he could sit down and work out a plan for his

education.

> He's at the age that trying to force him most likely won't work.

Would

> he outline something for you? When was in 4th grade and

crashing we

> asked him to write a couple thoughts he had on how to make school

better

> for him. He wrote " teach me something I don't already know " . It was

> really quite sad. I bet your son feels like this. What grade is he

in?

> My best, Gail

June 2, 2005

Oh geez..... dont get my son started on volcanoes.......................... I think he can name every volcano on the planet.... active that is.......

in Lancaster, Calolo52 <lolo52@...> wrote:

Hi Gail,I see a lot of similarities in our two boys.When he was young, before I sent him to daycare for the three first years, he was the happiest kid in the world.He was into ``The Land before time``movies. One day,he just repeated the whole movie, scene after scene with intonations and dialogues. We were simply amazed. From that, he got very deep in dinosaurs, knew everything about it, then it was volcanoes. For the last two years up until this year, he was playing historical,strategic games, he knew everything about Greek civilizations, Roman,etc... and he was impressing the teachers: English and History teachers. That is when,last year they asked us to have him evaluated for IQ. He wrote a long story about fictive civilizations, but was not happy with the results, he is very critical of himself.It was still going pretty

good in school last year, because he liked most of the teachers and respected their knowledge.The tests at the psychologist revealed that he had High verbal skills and very high memory skills, but could not understand social issues,that he was very aloof and if he did not recognize intelligence, he would not request help from adults. When we had been made aware of Asperger`s syndrome, we called the psychologist to ask if that would have not been overlooked, and they said catergorically, that he did not fit the character of an AS. So, we forgot about it.This year, with teenage, he wants justice and wants everybody who has been bullying him to pay for what they did. So, he has bouts of anger,because most of the time he does takes his fits at home,but also he did have fits in school with teachers who don't seem to respect him and other students who have been bullying him. He is always the one to get caught,because he is not

subtle, but straightforward.Right now, his interests are in some boards on the web, where people do not know who he is and how old he is: he talks about his topics of interest without restriction: Religion,History,and video games.He still plays with legos to my horror. His bedroom is like a battlefield with soldiers and pieces all over the floor. He builds his society with legos and has control over his world.He has only one friend who comes from time to time in the week-end. He thinks that he is not at his level intellectually,but at least he is looking up to him and don't put him down.He really wants to have friends, and yes another thing, he does not like girls. Well, does not feel comfortable at all with them. I would not be surprised if he was going to remain single. I know it is a bit early,but.We have seen a school this week which is an alternative school,small classes, but they do not have any room for

September. They have a waiting list, so we will go for it. It would be the best.Thanks girls for listening to me in my bad English ( French is my first language !!!)Lolo> > Re: The Blame Game> > Still, until I am sure that this is really the problem he has, I am > wondering still if he does not have simply difficult times in his > adolescence. There are a few things that seem a bit different.> Gail, can you describe your son`s character if it is not too much to > ask? It would help me tremendously.> Lolo> > >

***************Hi Lolo, just getting back to you as has been very> sick for the past 5 days. He is coming around today and is on an> anti-biotic. When he is sick he likes me to "sit" with him. I sure am> behind in work, but watching Gunsmoke reruns from the 60's was actually> nice to do. You asked about his character. He was not diagnosed until> almost 10 and as soon as I read up on Asperger's I said, sounds just> like . However, he is very social if he likes the person. He fit the> 'little professor' image and the rule follower. From a very young age he> had special interests and learned everything he could about them. Did> your son do this? At 4 it was the solar system, tanks, anatomy. Before> that was Tank and trains at 1 year on for quite some time. He> lined up his toys, especially soldiers. He would make what he called> 'set ups'. Of course once

they were complete no one was supposed to move> them. He was quiet, serious and sensitive. Skipping forward at almost 13> he is still a nice boy. However, he is apt to see "the glass half full".> He has no tolerance for little kids and calls them "little twerps". He> sputters under his breathe about them, and if they speak to him he> usually will say nothing. He tells me "it's better that way". At 12 he> does stand out more so as different when there are group dynamics going> on. If he had continued in P.S. he would have been in trouble, because> he was to the point of not taking bull anymore. The Principal and> teachers have told me they miss him, but he seems much better. He does> complain a lot. He complains about almost everything I give him for> school work, but then we compromise and he does the work and actually> enjoys some of it. He loves to read so I am

very lucky as certain> subjects like History he just does because he is interested. He does get> very nerved up even when he is enjoying himself. Therefore I can not> picture him in P.S. The music teacher asked him to play the theme song> to the Flintstones the other day and he refused (hates the song). The> teacher was OK with this and is very tolerant of 's ways. What are> your sons interests? Could the school work off these or are they and> your son to busy butting heads right now? I feel bad for your son. He> needs a different program. Is there anyone at the school he likes? Just> wondering if he could sit down and work out a plan for his education.> He's at the age that trying to force him most likely won't work. Would> he outline something for you? When was in 4th grade and crashing we> asked him to write a couple thoughts he had on how to make

school better> for him. He wrote "teach me something I don't already know". It was> really quite sad. I bet your son feels like this. What grade is he in?> My best, Gail__________________________________________________

June 3, 2005

Gail.... and would have a blast together, lol!

"However, he is very social if he likes the person"

" From a very young age he had special interests and learned everything he could about them"

He has no tolerance for little kids and calls them “little twerps”.

At 12 he does stand out more so as different when there are group dynamics going on.

He does complain a lot. . He does get very nerved up even when he is enjoying himself.

“teach me something I don’t already know”. It was really quite sad. I bet your son feels like this.

June 3, 2005

Re:

The Blame Game

Hi Gail,

I see a lot of similarities in our two boys.

When he was young, before I sent him to daycare

for the three first

years, he was the happiest kid in the world.

He was into ``The Land before time``movies.

*****************Forgot

about those movies, same with though. Also, Fox and Hound, Charlotte’s Web, and several others.

One day, he just repeated

the whole movie, scene after scene with intonations and dialogues. We

were simply amazed.

***************ditto

From that, he got very deep

in dinosaurs, knew

everything about it, then it was volcanoes. For the last two years up

until this year, he was playing historical,strategic games, he knew

everything about Greek civilizations, Roman,etc...

********same with ,

Empire Earth and lots of Civil War games. Oh, I forgot the Mythology year, lots of knowledge in that area.

and

he was

impressing the teachers: English and History

teachers. That is

when,last year they asked us to have him evaluated

for IQ. He wrote a

long story about fictive civilizations, but was not happy with the

results, he is very critical of himself.

********ditto, has never understood

that he wasn’t already supposed to know the subject when they asked

questions in school. Of course in elementary most subjects discussed (except

math) he had studied on his own.

It was still going pretty good in school last

year, because he liked

most of the teachers and respected their knowledge.

The tests at the psychologist revealed that he had

High verbal skills

and very high memory skills, but could not understand social

issues,that he was very aloof and if he did not

recognize

intelligence, he would not request help from

adults.

*************Not asking

for help is very common with our kids. They don’t even think of it or

know how to ask. This skill has to be taught. Something for

you folks, with younger kids, to really work on. It is very important

and one of those abstract concepts that most just do… would just sit

in class and not ask. He was well behaved so the teacher didn’t notice…

When we had been

made aware of Asperger`s syndrome, we called the psychologist to ask

if that would have not been overlooked, and they

said catergorically,

that he did not fit the character of an AS. So, we

forgot about it.

**************2 Psychologists, 2

Psychiatrists did not see As. It took a Learning

Specialist reviewing the records and observing him one morning and then everyone

else agreed. The Principal knew after spending 45 min.’s with him one

day. She never told us, but did bring in the Learning Specialist, after seeing

no one else was coming up with a complete diagnosis. They were stuck on the OCD(Obsessive Compulsive, which he does have. Nine months in

a Psy.’s office once a week and she never saw it. I really don’t

feel they studied the test results, because there were discrepancies that

should have been questioned beyond OCD. In intelligence scores ranged from 7’s(average)

to 19 superior and the ceiling on scores….I wish the principal had told

us but now a days I guess many parents get bent out of shape when school

officials suggest a certain diagnosis. She did tell us we were the most

proactive of anyone she had seen trying to help our son.

This year, with teenage, he wants justice and

wants everybody who has

been bullying him to pay for what they did.

*************sorry to say

but this is exactly what would have happened to our son if he had stayed in PS.

He goes once a week 30 min’s for music. Last year there was a kid between

classes, going in and out of the music room that called a name. One day

chased him down the hall calling(yelling) him a

SOB. Another day grabbed him by the shirt and the same. could never

be there with these stinkers as he would be in fights and I am talking about a

very nice boy.

So, he has bouts of

anger,because most of the time he does takes his fits at home,but

also he did have fits in school with teachers who

don't seem to

respect him and other students who have been

bullying him. He is

always the one to get caught,because he is not subtle, but

straightforward.

***************ditto

Right now, his interests are in some boards on the

web, where people

do not know who he is and how old he is: he talks about his topics of

interest without restriction: Religion,History,and

video games.

He still plays with legos to my horror.

************ really

never liked Lego’s except an old set they had in first grade. Probably

the Lego’s are calming for your son, I wouldn’t worry about it.

Last night ,12, had me reading Beatrix Potter to

him. He also reads Shakespeare. I think certain things are calming.

He has only one friend who comes from time to time

in the week-end.

He thinks that he is not at his level

intellectually,but at least he

is looking up to him and don't put him down.

************I think this is good. has

a couple kids who come over. I have always put a lot of effort into this early

on and I am glad I did.

He really wants to have friends, and yes another

thing, he does not

like girls. Well, does not feel comfortable at all with them. I would

not be surprised if he was going to remain single.

*************Yes,

has said he may just have his dogs. He can’t stand kids and early on I

told him he does not have to have kids and used a couple of my friends as

examples. If he does marry he wants an ‘old fashioned’ girl.

I know it is a bit

early,but.

We have seen a school this week which is an

alternative school,small

classes, but they do not have any room for

September. They have a

waiting list, so we will go for it.

************Really glad

you did this. From what you said, at his age, the current situation is not

going to work.

It would be the best.

*************Were there other As. kids at

the school? Probably a real mix I imagine. It’s not for juvenile delinquents

is it? They are the one type you wouldn’t want him around which I know

you realize.

Thanks

girls for listening to me in my bad English ( French

is my

first

language !!!)

Lolo

***********You do great. English is my first language and I have

problems with it! Take care, Gail

June 3, 2005

Gail,

You are so good to me, in going through my post and pin pointing

everything and answering each and every one of them.

To answer your question, as if there were some other AS in the

school? I have no idea, and there is no psychologist in the school

either. The person in charge of the students with difficulties just

refuse to deal with him now, because at one point, she came to get

him during a course and he told her that he was busy. The vice-

principal then came to get him in the class and because it was almost

over,he followed him and that is when he called us to say that his

behaviour was not acceptable and very impolite. That from now on,if

we had a problem with our child to communicate with him or the

principal at all times. It does not seem to have any kind of

possibility of evaluating him in the school setting.

Sometime, I believe that he has OCD too,because at one point, he was

washing his hands like every five minutes to the point that it was

bleeding. All kinds of little things...

BTW,I viewed the movie: The Aviator last week-end and I was wondering

for those of you who saw it, if you think that was an

AS???

Also, I forgot to say that he always complain a lot about

everything,exactly like your son.

Oh well, I guess that even though all tests would say he is not, he

might have somehow a mild side of it.

Lorraine

> Re: The Blame Game

>

> Hi Gail,

> I see a lot of similarities in our two boys.

> When he was young, before I sent him to daycare for the three first

> years, he was the happiest kid in the world.

> He was into ``The Land before time``movies.

> *****************Forgot about those movies, same with though.

Also,

> Fox and Hound, Charlotte's Web, and several others.

> One day, he just repeated

> the whole movie, scene after scene with intonations and dialogues.

We

> were simply amazed.

> ***************ditto

> From that, he got very deep in dinosaurs, knew

> everything about it, then it was volcanoes. For the last two years

up

> until this year, he was playing historical,strategic games, he knew

> everything about Greek civilizations, Roman,etc...

> ********same with , Empire Earth and lots of Civil War games.

Oh, I

> forgot the Mythology year, lots of knowledge in that area.

> and he was

> impressing the teachers: English and History teachers. That is

> when,last year they asked us to have him evaluated for IQ. He wrote

a

> long story about fictive civilizations, but was not happy with the

> results, he is very critical of himself.

> ********ditto, has never understood that he wasn't already

supposed

> to know the subject when they asked questions in school. Of course

in

> elementary most subjects discussed (except math) he had studied on

his

> own.

>

> It was still going pretty good in school last year, because he

liked

> most of the teachers and respected their knowledge.

> The tests at the psychologist revealed that he had High verbal

skills

> and very high memory skills, but could not understand social

> issues,that he was very aloof and if he did not recognize

> intelligence, he would not request help from adults.

> *************Not asking for help is very common with our kids. They

> don't even think of it or know how to ask. This skill has to be

taught.

> Something for you folks, with younger kids, to really work on. It is

> very important and one of those abstract concepts that most just

do.

> would just sit in class and not ask. He was well behaved so the

teacher

> didn't notice.

> When we had been

> made aware of Asperger`s syndrome, we called the psychologist to

ask

> if that would have not been overlooked, and they said

catergorically,

> that he did not fit the character of an AS. So, we forgot about it.

> **************2 Psychologists, 2 Psychiatrists did not see As. It

took a

> Learning Specialist reviewing the records and observing him one

morning

> and then everyone else agreed. The Principal knew after spending 45

> min.'s with him one day. She never told us, but did bring in the

> Learning Specialist, after seeing no one else was coming up with a

> complete diagnosis. They were stuck on the OCD(Obsessive Compulsive,

> which he does have. Nine months in a Psy.'s office once a week and

she

> never saw it. I really don't feel they studied the test results,

because

> there were discrepancies that should have been questioned beyond

OCD. In

> intelligence scores ranged from 7's(average) to 19 superior and the

> ceiling on scores..I wish the principal had told us but now a days I

> guess many parents get bent out of shape when school officials

suggest a

> certain diagnosis. She did tell us we were the most proactive of

anyone

> she had seen trying to help our son.

>

> This year, with teenage, he wants justice and wants everybody who

has

> been bullying him to pay for what they did.

> *************sorry to say but this is exactly what would have

happened

> to our son if he had stayed in PS. He goes once a week 30 min's for

> music. Last year there was a kid between classes, going in and out

of

> the music room that called a name. One day chased him

down the

> hall calling(yelling) him a SOB. Another day grabbed him by the

> shirt and the same. could never be there with these stinkers

as he

> would be in fights and I am talking about a very nice boy.

> So, he has bouts of

> anger,because most of the time he does takes his fits at home,but

> also he did have fits in school with teachers who don't seem to

> respect him and other students who have been bullying him. He is

> always the one to get caught,because he is not subtle, but

> straightforward.

> ***************ditto

>

> Right now, his interests are in some boards on the web, where

people

> do not know who he is and how old he is: he talks about his topics

of

> interest without restriction: Religion,History,and video games.

> He still plays with legos to my horror.

> ************ really never liked Lego's except an old set they

had in

> first grade. Probably the Lego's are calming for your son, I

wouldn't

> worry about it. Last night ,12, had me reading Beatrix Potter to

> him. He also reads Shakespeare. I think certain things are calming.

>

> He has only one friend who comes from time to time in the week-end.

> He thinks that he is not at his level intellectually,but at least

he

> is looking up to him and don't put him down.

> ************I think this is good. has a couple kids who come

over.

> I have always put a lot of effort into this early on and I am glad I

> did.

>

> He really wants to have friends, and yes another thing, he does not

> like girls. Well, does not feel comfortable at all with them. I

would

> not be surprised if he was going to remain single.

> *************Yes, has said he may just have his dogs. He can't

> stand kids and early on I told him he does not have to have kids and

> used a couple of my friends as examples. If he does marry he wants

an

> 'old fashioned' girl.

> I know it is a bit

> early,but.

> We have seen a school this week which is an alternative

school,small

> classes, but they do not have any room for September. They have a

> waiting list, so we will go for it.

> ************Really glad you did this. From what you said, at his

age,

> the current situation is not going to work.

> It would be the best.

> *************Were there other As. kids at the school? Probably a

real

> mix I imagine. It's not for juvenile delinquents is it? They are

the one

> type you wouldn't want him around which I know you realize.

>

> Thanks girls for listening to me in my bad English ( French is my

> first language !!!)

> Lolo

> ***********You do great. English is my first language and I have

> problems with it! Take care, Gail

June 5, 2005

Re:

The Blame Game

Sometime, I believe that he has OCD too,because at

one point, he was

washing his hands like every five minutes to the

point that it was

bleeding. All kinds of little things...

****************Hi Lorraine, I’m rushing as this is a busy time of year for me with a

plant nursery but I did want to say The hand washing that you describe is OCD.

did this after 9/11. Luckily he quickly rinsed his hands so they did not get to

the bleeding point ever. Our Pediatrician made a referral to a Family

Psychiatry practice. First he met with a Psychologist for 6 weeks for CBT

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and then it was decided this wasn’t enough

and medication was added. This has really helped him and is absolutely necessary

for other issues as well such as tics. I can answer any specific questions

later……………Gail

June 5, 2005

I agree with both of you with the fact that if the interests do not

match,

forget it...

My son is

very,very knowledgeable in Star Wars, he has seen the

movies time

after time.

He just

started a board for video games and discussions on other

topics.

Perhaps,your sons would be interested.

Lorraine

******************Let me know the address

and when is feeling better, he has had a terrible virus, I will ask him.

Thanks Gail

lilies@...

June 5, 2005

He just started a board for video games and discussions on other topics.

Hi Lorraine

Is this list only for boys? or older kids? My dd loves video games but she is only 8 yo. She calls herself the queen of video games. I'm sure she would love to talk to other kids and would love to join, if she is old enough.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04__________________________________________________

June 5, 2005

Carol,

Does she like older men? lol, my 11 year old claims to be the King

-Charlotte

RE: Re: The Blame Game

He just started a board for video games and discussions on other topics.

Hi Lorraine

Is this list only for boys? or older kids? My dd loves video games but she is only 8 yo. She calls herself the queen of video games. I'm sure she would love to talk to other kids and would love to join, if she is old enough.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

__________________________________________________

June 5, 2005

I’m

sorry if I missed it, but do you have the name so that my boys (9 & 13) can

join this group?

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of carol sobczak

Sent: Sunday, June 05, 2005 5:14

AM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: RE:

Re: The Blame Game

He just started a

board for video games and discussions on other

topics.

Hi Lorraine

Is this list only for

boys? or older kids? My dd loves video games but she is only 8 yo.

She calls herself the queen of video games. I'm sure she would love to

talk to other kids and would love to join, if she is old enough.

Carol, mom

to

,

3/14/94

,

2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

__________________________________________________

June 5, 2005

That goes for my son as well.... He loves his Playstation 2. It took him 2 days to beat his new Star Wars game..... My son would be interested as well..... Thanks!!!

in Lancaster, Cacarol sobczak <cpsobczak@...> wrote:

He just started a board for video games and discussions on other topics.

Hi Lorraine

Is this list only for boys? or older kids? My dd loves video games but she is only 8 yo. She calls herself the queen of video games. I'm sure she would love to talk to other kids and would love to join, if she is old enough.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

__________________________________________________

June 8, 2005

Hi Charlotte

This is my AS kid, I don't think she would notice either way,lol.designs <scottdesigns@...> wrote:

Carol,

Does she like older men? lol, my 11 year old claims to be the King

-Charlotte

RE: Re: The Blame Game

He just started a board for video games and discussions on other topics.

Hi Lorraine

Is this list only for boys? or older kids? My dd loves video games but she is only 8 yo. She calls herself the queen of video games. I'm sure she would love to talk to other kids and would love to join, if she is old enough.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

__________________________________________________

June 8, 2005

Good point.....my son probably wouldn't either, lol!

RE: Re: The Blame Game

He just started a board for video games and discussions on other topics.

Hi Lorraine

Is this list only for boys? or older kids? My dd loves video games but she is only 8 yo. She calls herself the queen of video games. I'm sure she would love to talk to other kids and would love to join, if she is old enough.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

__________________________________________________

June 9, 2005

Thank goodness we can laugh about this because if we couldn't we'd all probably do nothing but cry. I know I would. I'm glad I have all of you to laugh with.designs <scottdesigns@...> wrote:

Good point.....my son probably wouldn't either, lol!

Re: Re: The Blame Game

Hi Charlotte

This is my AS kid, I don't think she would notice either way,lol.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

Discover Stay in touch with email, IM, photo sharing more. Check it out!

June 9, 2005

I couldn't agree more!!

Re: Re: The Blame Game

Hi Charlotte

This is my AS kid, I don't think she would notice either way,lol.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

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October 16, 2006

The Blame Game Daily Inspiration By Dr. H. Sklare Monday, October 16, 2006 I read a very interesting article in the paper a while back titled “Don’t Blame The Burgers.” It was an article regarding the two overweight teenagers from New York who were suing Mc’s over their current state of their health. This story provides another prime example of how some people avoid responsibility, claim victim status and point that fickle finger of blame. Only YOU can create the healthy life and fit body that you dream about and only YOU can endanger it. The bottom line is that the life you lead and the body you create are the end results of the choices that you make. And most people seem to agree. As a matter of fact, a 2003 Gallup Poll found that nine out of

ten Americans say that it’s wrong to hold food companies liable for obesity-related problems. Winning that lawsuit is certainly not going to make those two teenagers fit and healthy. What will make them fit and healthy is learning to take personal responsibility for their bodies and making an honest and heartfelt commitment to healthy living. Because, at the end of the day, the truth is this; only YOU can move you, only YOU can feel you, only YOU can live you and only YOU can change you. The healthy life and fit body that you want so badly all begins with taking

personal responsibility. Pointing fingers and blaming others does not help to close the gap between who you are and who you want to be. Mindful and responsible choices will do that for you. I rest my case your honor! What Have You Done Today To Make You Feel Proud?? - The Biggest Loser Theme Song -Sapphyre

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The Blame Game

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