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Hi Faith

The last time we talked, you were considering contacting a different RD in

Springfield. I went ahead and contacted him to give him a heads up about you.

Did you ever contact them? Hang in there, sweetie. It is a long process

sometimes, and depression goes along with it. The antidepressant prescribed for

me is for the fibro, but it just helps everything. I was lucky in that the

first one they tried worked and we just had to increase the doseage once. Just

know that another Missouri girl is thinkin' about you!

Take Care

Stay healthy

Faith Holt wrote:

Hey Guys,

I haven't written very much in the last several days , haven't been very

interested in life lately. Things are on the up and up though, I hope. I went to

my GP's office today to see the nurse practitioner, who I think is great, about

some anti-depressants. Come to find out her hubby has Still's, I never knew.

It's a small world. She said that they went through all of the testing, almost

all were negative, and through all of the meds, MTX, etc. Eventually they sought

a Homeopathic doc and her hubby now controls it with Bee Venum, and other

natural remedies and his diet. She gave me his number and said to call him and

talk about Still's. I just get farther in a black hole the longer it takes for a

dx but this shed some light. She also told me to quit worrying about the testing

because they weren't really worth their weight, it was, like everyone says, a

process of elimination. I really needed this today because I had some major bad

thoughts this weekend. Faith-MO

---------------------------------

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,

The insurance said that because he was out of network, I would have to get a

referral from my RD to be covered. Do you know how much the first couple of

visits would be out of pocket? Thank you for the support? Faith

Palmer wrote:

Hi Faith

The last time we talked, you were considering contacting a different RD in

Springfield. I went ahead and contacted him to give him a heads up about you.

Did you ever contact them? Hang in there, sweetie. It is a long process

sometimes, and depression goes along with it. The antidepressant prescribed for

me is for the fibro, but it just helps everything. I was lucky in that the first

one they tried worked and we just had to increase the doseage once. Just know

that another Missouri girl is thinkin' about you!

Take Care

Stay healthy

Faith Holt wrote:

Hey Guys,

I haven't written very much in the last several days , haven't been very

interested in life lately. Things are on the up and up though, I hope. I went to

my GP's office today to see the nurse practitioner, who I think is great, about

some anti-depressants. Come to find out her hubby has Still's, I never knew.

It's a small world. She said that they went through all of the testing, almost

all were negative, and through all of the meds, MTX, etc. Eventually they sought

a Homeopathic doc and her hubby now controls it with Bee Venum, and other

natural remedies and his diet. She gave me his number and said to call him and

talk about Still's. I just get farther in a black hole the longer it takes for a

dx but this shed some light. She also told me to quit worrying about the testing

because they weren't really worth their weight, it was, like everyone says, a

process of elimination. I really needed this today because I had some major bad

thoughts this weekend. Faith-MO

---------------------------------

Building a website is a piece of cake.

Yahoo! Small Business gives you all the tools to get online.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

,

The insurance said that because he was out of network, I would have to get a

referral from my RD to be covered. Do you know how much the first couple of

visits would be out of pocket? Thank you for the support? Faith

Palmer wrote:

Hi Faith

The last time we talked, you were considering contacting a different RD in

Springfield. I went ahead and contacted him to give him a heads up about you.

Did you ever contact them? Hang in there, sweetie. It is a long process

sometimes, and depression goes along with it. The antidepressant prescribed for

me is for the fibro, but it just helps everything. I was lucky in that the first

one they tried worked and we just had to increase the doseage once. Just know

that another Missouri girl is thinkin' about you!

Take Care

Stay healthy

Faith Holt wrote:

Hey Guys,

I haven't written very much in the last several days , haven't been very

interested in life lately. Things are on the up and up though, I hope. I went to

my GP's office today to see the nurse practitioner, who I think is great, about

some anti-depressants. Come to find out her hubby has Still's, I never knew.

It's a small world. She said that they went through all of the testing, almost

all were negative, and through all of the meds, MTX, etc. Eventually they sought

a Homeopathic doc and her hubby now controls it with Bee Venum, and other

natural remedies and his diet. She gave me his number and said to call him and

talk about Still's. I just get farther in a black hole the longer it takes for a

dx but this shed some light. She also told me to quit worrying about the testing

because they weren't really worth their weight, it was, like everyone says, a

process of elimination. I really needed this today because I had some major bad

thoughts this weekend. Faith-MO

---------------------------------

Building a website is a piece of cake.

Yahoo! Small Business gives you all the tools to get online.

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Share on other sites

Guest guest

Hi Faith,

I really don't have any idea how much it would cost for you to see him out of

pocket. If I were you I would just ask the people at his office. Someone will

probably connect you to the billing department and they could tell you. Since

my medicare kicked in, I don't even have a copay. I do know that it won't be

cheap...what specialist is? I know what you mean about having to see someone in

your network, though. I was just lucky I guess, that a great RD who has dealt

with actual AOSD patients is in my network and within an hour's drive of home.

Let us know how you are doing.

Faith Holt wrote:

,

The insurance said that because he was out of network, I would have to get a

referral from my RD to be covered. Do you know how much the first couple of

visits would be out of pocket? Thank you for the support? Faith

Palmer wrote:

Hi Faith

The last time we talked, you were considering contacting a different RD in

Springfield. I went ahead and contacted him to give him a heads up about you.

Did you ever contact them? Hang in there, sweetie. It is a long process

sometimes, and depression goes along with it. The antidepressant prescribed for

me is for the fibro, but it just helps everything. I was lucky in that the first

one they tried worked and we just had to increase the doseage once. Just know

that another Missouri girl is thinkin' about you!

Take Care

Stay healthy

Faith Holt wrote:

Hey Guys,

I haven't written very much in the last several days , haven't been very

interested in life lately. Things are on the up and up though, I hope. I went to

my GP's office today to see the nurse practitioner, who I think is great, about

some anti-depressants. Come to find out her hubby has Still's, I never knew.

It's a small world. She said that they went through all of the testing, almost

all were negative, and through all of the meds, MTX, etc. Eventually they sought

a Homeopathic doc and her hubby now controls it with Bee Venum, and other

natural remedies and his diet. She gave me his number and said to call him and

talk about Still's. I just get farther in a black hole the longer it takes for a

dx but this shed some light. She also told me to quit worrying about the testing

because they weren't really worth their weight, it was, like everyone says, a

process of elimination. I really needed this today because I had some major bad

thoughts this weekend. Faith-MO

---------------------------------

Building a website is a piece of cake.

Yahoo! Small Business gives you all the tools to get online.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

Hi Faith,

I really don't have any idea how much it would cost for you to see him out of

pocket. If I were you I would just ask the people at his office. Someone will

probably connect you to the billing department and they could tell you. Since

my medicare kicked in, I don't even have a copay. I do know that it won't be

cheap...what specialist is? I know what you mean about having to see someone in

your network, though. I was just lucky I guess, that a great RD who has dealt

with actual AOSD patients is in my network and within an hour's drive of home.

Let us know how you are doing.

Faith Holt wrote:

,

The insurance said that because he was out of network, I would have to get a

referral from my RD to be covered. Do you know how much the first couple of

visits would be out of pocket? Thank you for the support? Faith

Palmer wrote:

Hi Faith

The last time we talked, you were considering contacting a different RD in

Springfield. I went ahead and contacted him to give him a heads up about you.

Did you ever contact them? Hang in there, sweetie. It is a long process

sometimes, and depression goes along with it. The antidepressant prescribed for

me is for the fibro, but it just helps everything. I was lucky in that the first

one they tried worked and we just had to increase the doseage once. Just know

that another Missouri girl is thinkin' about you!

Take Care

Stay healthy

Faith Holt wrote:

Hey Guys,

I haven't written very much in the last several days , haven't been very

interested in life lately. Things are on the up and up though, I hope. I went to

my GP's office today to see the nurse practitioner, who I think is great, about

some anti-depressants. Come to find out her hubby has Still's, I never knew.

It's a small world. She said that they went through all of the testing, almost

all were negative, and through all of the meds, MTX, etc. Eventually they sought

a Homeopathic doc and her hubby now controls it with Bee Venum, and other

natural remedies and his diet. She gave me his number and said to call him and

talk about Still's. I just get farther in a black hole the longer it takes for a

dx but this shed some light. She also told me to quit worrying about the testing

because they weren't really worth their weight, it was, like everyone says, a

process of elimination. I really needed this today because I had some major bad

thoughts this weekend. Faith-MO

---------------------------------

Building a website is a piece of cake.

Yahoo! Small Business gives you all the tools to get online.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

Hi Faith,

I really don't have any idea how much it would cost for you to see him out of

pocket. If I were you I would just ask the people at his office. Someone will

probably connect you to the billing department and they could tell you. Since

my medicare kicked in, I don't even have a copay. I do know that it won't be

cheap...what specialist is? I know what you mean about having to see someone in

your network, though. I was just lucky I guess, that a great RD who has dealt

with actual AOSD patients is in my network and within an hour's drive of home.

Let us know how you are doing.

Faith Holt wrote:

,

The insurance said that because he was out of network, I would have to get a

referral from my RD to be covered. Do you know how much the first couple of

visits would be out of pocket? Thank you for the support? Faith

Palmer wrote:

Hi Faith

The last time we talked, you were considering contacting a different RD in

Springfield. I went ahead and contacted him to give him a heads up about you.

Did you ever contact them? Hang in there, sweetie. It is a long process

sometimes, and depression goes along with it. The antidepressant prescribed for

me is for the fibro, but it just helps everything. I was lucky in that the first

one they tried worked and we just had to increase the doseage once. Just know

that another Missouri girl is thinkin' about you!

Take Care

Stay healthy

Faith Holt wrote:

Hey Guys,

I haven't written very much in the last several days , haven't been very

interested in life lately. Things are on the up and up though, I hope. I went to

my GP's office today to see the nurse practitioner, who I think is great, about

some anti-depressants. Come to find out her hubby has Still's, I never knew.

It's a small world. She said that they went through all of the testing, almost

all were negative, and through all of the meds, MTX, etc. Eventually they sought

a Homeopathic doc and her hubby now controls it with Bee Venum, and other

natural remedies and his diet. She gave me his number and said to call him and

talk about Still's. I just get farther in a black hole the longer it takes for a

dx but this shed some light. She also told me to quit worrying about the testing

because they weren't really worth their weight, it was, like everyone says, a

process of elimination. I really needed this today because I had some major bad

thoughts this weekend. Faith-MO

---------------------------------

Building a website is a piece of cake.

Yahoo! Small Business gives you all the tools to get online.

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Share on other sites

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Faith

one way to loo at all the testing is how i ended up doing .in the end after

feeliing scared and down I looked at it like this .I have one of the best base

lines to go forward with as if any thing now shows even a little i know were the

base line is when nothing showe . it gave me some peace but when i was goign

threw it all I did not even care if they said i had cancer at lest i would have

had a name and could go forward and fight some thing insead of living in fear

and wondering what . to this day I can tell you I still hold that thought and am

glad I had the base line with my family history on mom and dads side it gives me

peace now . some one some were told me you can find a good thing in every thing

just got to look for it and be willing to see it . well for this old coot it

took some time LOL

((((HUGS))))

the redneck

Marty

Stills ; An illness I know to well!

To learn about Stills http://www.stillsdisease.org/stills_info

To donate http://www.stillsdisease.org/donations

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Shape Yahoo! in your own image. Join our Network Research Panel today!

http://surveylink.yahoo.com/gmrs/yahoo_panel_invite.asp?a=7

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Faith

one way to loo at all the testing is how i ended up doing .in the end after

feeliing scared and down I looked at it like this .I have one of the best base

lines to go forward with as if any thing now shows even a little i know were the

base line is when nothing showe . it gave me some peace but when i was goign

threw it all I did not even care if they said i had cancer at lest i would have

had a name and could go forward and fight some thing insead of living in fear

and wondering what . to this day I can tell you I still hold that thought and am

glad I had the base line with my family history on mom and dads side it gives me

peace now . some one some were told me you can find a good thing in every thing

just got to look for it and be willing to see it . well for this old coot it

took some time LOL

((((HUGS))))

the redneck

Marty

Stills ; An illness I know to well!

To learn about Stills http://www.stillsdisease.org/stills_info

To donate http://www.stillsdisease.org/donations

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Shape Yahoo! in your own image. Join our Network Research Panel today!

http://surveylink.yahoo.com/gmrs/yahoo_panel_invite.asp?a=7

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  • 2 months later...

>

Hello, depressed>

> Hello group,

>

> I have not posted in awhile

because

> depression has gotten

>

> the best of me. I can not take it anymore! I do not know how to

live my

> life

>

> with all MY afflictions.

>

> Best part is neither does my hubby.

He is

> not supportive

>

> and in fact makes things worse ALOT of times. I just do not know how

>

> to restart my life. I miss it ! I feel everything falling apart

around

> me !

>

> I am only 42 and a new first

time

> grandma and

>

> it does not help me that my daughter lives 4 hrs away from me.

>

> I have a cam to see them but it is NOT the same. My daughter is my

>

> best friend and I miss her terribly ! I miss my 1 yr old

>

> granddaughter just as much if not more !

>

> I have Fibromyalgia and

Hello Kim, depressed and 42. There is a way through your tangle of

confusion and ugly feelings. I have just come out of a hating

depression wherein I lambasted ll those who did me wrong when I goe

fired.

Now I am getting closer to a place of peace. Still not able to work,

but sleeping more than 3 hours a day in 3 one hour shift

I encourage you to stay in touch. I will be here and will keep this

riff open.

Larry

osteoarthritis and DDD of the

>

> cervical spine. I want to just take off , run away. I miss where I

used

> to

>

> live and it is really hurting me deep down not to be there ! ! !

>

> Well, thank you for being here so I can

vent.

>

> God bless you all and have a low pain night.

>

>

> Gentle Hugs,

>

> Kim ( heavenscent )

>

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>

>

> Hello group,

>

> I have not posted in awhile

because

> depression has gotten

>

> the best of me. I can not take it anymore! I do not know how to

live my

> life

>

> with all MY afflictions.

>

> Best part is neither does my hubby.

He is

> not supportive

>

> and in fact makes things worse ALOT of times. I just do not know how

>

> to restart my life. I miss it ! I feel everything falling apart

around

> me !

>

> I am only 42 and a new first

time

> grandma and

>

> it does not help me that my daughter lives 4 hrs away from me.

>

> I have a cam to see them but it is NOT the same. My daughter is my

>

> best friend and I miss her terribly ! I miss my 1 yr old

>

> granddaughter just as much if not more !

>

> I have Fibromyalgia and

> osteoarthritis and DDD of the

>

> cervical spine. I want to just take off , run away. I miss where I

used

> to

>

> live and it is really hurting me deep down not to be there ! ! !

>

> Well, thank you for being here so I can

vent.

>

> God bless you all and have a low pain night.

>

>

> Gentle Hugs,

>

> Kim ( heavenscent )

>

I've gotten to where I can't take it anymore either. It's not

constant but I don't really believe I am bi-polar. I just don't know

WWHAT to do or say to anybody anymore. I just want it to STOP!!!

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STAY IN TOUCH. tHAT IS A WAY TO haNDLE DEPRESSION. 100 YEARS AGO THEY CALLED IT SAD, MELANCHOLY. MY DAD as a teenager would tell me, profoundly depressed, to "snap out of it." I eventually did. Write.Candace <candozier@...> wrote: >> > Hello group,> > I have not posted in awhile because>

depression has gotten> > the best of me. I can not take it anymore! I do not know how to live my> life> > with all MY afflictions.> > Best part is neither does my hubby. He is> not supportive> > and in fact makes things worse ALOT of times. I just do not know how> > to restart my life. I miss it ! I feel everything falling apart around> me !> > I am only 42 and a new first time> grandma and> > it does not help me that my daughter lives 4 hrs away from me.> > I have a cam to see them but it is NOT the same. My daughter is my> > best friend and I miss her terribly ! I miss my 1 yr old> > granddaughter just as much if not more !> > I have Fibromyalgia and> osteoarthritis and DDD of the> > cervical spine. I want to just take off , run away. I miss where I

used> to> > live and it is really hurting me deep down not to be there ! ! !> > Well, thank you for being here so I can vent.> > God bless you all and have a low pain night.> > > Gentle Hugs,> > Kim ( heavenscent )>I've gotten to where I can't take it anymore either. It's not constant but I don't really believe I am bi-polar. I just don't know WWHAT to do or say to anybody anymore. I just want it to STOP!!! __________________________________________________

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Hi Kim,I think most of us with chronic illnesses go through periods of deep depression. I know I do. Thankfully, it does pass. I have found I recover more quickly if I do not let myself feel guilty about being depressed. Sometimes it does not hurt to just say, " life sucks and I have had it!!!!" It is true............And then, I say so what if it sucks, there are a lot of people with worse lives, ggg. I have a slew of health problems. But, they ain't going away, at least not in the near future. So, I feel I have a right to pout, be sad give up. But, I usually just take a few days and do nothing, but what I want/and can do. I dont cook, dont clean, but I am pleasant, and civil well pretty much so.Sometimes we need to mourn our bad health, our loss. We are only human. Now if you can find an anti-depressant that will keep you euphoric forever, well then you might have it made. I have not found one yet and some make me really sick. Even healthy people get depressed from time to time.Tell your husband how you feel about his lack of caring. And, let him know it might not be easy for him to have to live with a sicky, but it isnt fun to be that sicky. Then tell him you want to do all you can for him and you, but you need his help and support. Don't feel guilty because you are ill and cannot do a lot. Make yourself do what you can, what you cant, too bad. If you want to make it, you must toughen up a bit.Sorry you are so far from your daughter. That would be hard. My advice is always to get a dog. ggg I love dogs. They saved my sanity when my health went. If you cannot sleep, do not worry. You will finally sleep when your body can no longer bear it. I have had the same problem with sleep. I now go to bed at around 2-3am and get up at 10-11am. Works good for me. If anyone gives you any static about not keeping up with things due to your health just tell them you do the best you can. Forget the guilt. Bad health sucks, but I say so what. I will do what I can as best I can. Its all we can do.Take care, B-----Original Message-----

>

>

> Hello group,

>

> I have not posted in awhile

because

> depression has gotten

>

> the best of me. I can not take it anymore! I do not know how to

live my

> life

>

> with all MY afflictions.

>

> Best part is neither does my hubby.

He is

> not supportive

>

> and in fact makes things worse ALOT of times. I just do not know how

>

> to restart my life. I miss it ! I feel everything falling apart

around

> me !

>

> I am only 42 and a new first

time

> grandma and

>

> it does not help me that my daughter lives 4 hrs away from me.

>

> I have a cam to see them but it is NOT the same. My daughter is my

>

> best friend and I miss her terribly ! I miss my 1 yr old

>

> granddaughter just as much if not more !

>

> I have Fibromyalgia and

> osteoarthritis and DDD of the

>

> cervical spine. I want to just take off , run away. I miss where I

used

> to

>

> live and it is really hurting me deep down not to be there ! ! !

>

> Well, thank you for being here so I can

vent.

>

> God bless you all and have a low pain night.

>

>

> Gentle Hugs,

>

> Kim ( heavenscent )

>

I've gotten to where I can't take it anymore either. It's not

constant but I don't really believe I am bi-polar. I just don't know

WWHAT to do or say to anybody anymore. I just want it to STOP!!!

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I am going through a rough patch myself and it doesn't seem to be

passing...if it is, I think a kidney stone would be LESS painful.

I have had someone back off from me (online) because I was sick. I'm

assuming that's the reason because she has never bothered to explain

herself to me. Don't expect everyone to walk a mile in my shoes but I

would hope this person would have tried to be a little more

empathetic. I think I am already past the guilt....I am not one of the

ones who feel I did something to " deserve " what has happened to

me....at least I HOPE I'm not. I wish I could really TALK to this

person and make her understand that she's more fortunate than she

knows.

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Candace, I'm Connie and I haven't written to you before. But I do understand what you are talking about people who lack empathy. But sometimes - although I'm a very empathetic person and care deeply for those of us who aren't having a party type of lifestyle - I withdraw into myself for a period before I am a mess calling the crisis lines and having another breakdown. My brother and sister in law firmly believe that pretending you aren't sick makes it so....My brother is starting to come around and realize a little that life isn't a party.....He is learning to be caring at age 60! I never would have thought it possible! If you need to talk to someone - anytime - please call me at 408-378-1953. I live in California (I'm not sure where you live) but most likely my time zone is behind yours and I usually stay up late anyway. My cell phone is broken and I'm supposed to

get a new one on Nov 1 and then I can make long distance calls again. I send a big hug and lots of love and care in the meantime. Love, Connie Candace <candozier@...> wrote: I am going through a rough patch myself and it doesn't seem to be passing...if it is, I think a kidney stone would be LESS painful. I have had someone back off from me (online) because I was sick. I'm assuming that's the reason because she has never bothered to explain herself to me. Don't expect everyone to

walk a mile in my shoes but I would hope this person would have tried to be a little more empathetic. I think I am already past the guilt....I am not one of the ones who feel I did something to "deserve" what has happened to me....at least I HOPE I'm not. I wish I could really TALK to this person and make her understand that she's more fortunate than she knows. __________________________________________________

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, I totally understand what you are talking about regarding sleeping and loving your pets SO much. I would sleep ALL the time if I could - as it is I do spend most of my time in bed unless I am cleaning or preparing food for my elderly mother or my cats. I am looking forward to my BIG sleep - the one you don't wake up from. I know it doesn't really mean much, but your dog is where we will all go eventually - where there is no pain and you can sleep and sleep. Love, Connie MGranadaHome <robert_g54463@...> wrote: It was making me depressed watching my dog waste away. And my husband says that it makes him depressed when I am in bed all the time sleeping I told him it was my "healing" time. He said just having my presence in the living room or the room he is in, helps him. My h/a pain isn't as great, while sleeping, actually any pain is gone while sleeping for me, that is probably why I like it so much (a hobby for me, apparently. i even liked it as a kid, wouldn't get up until 10 and missed breakfast to do it) though I do tend to get bored sometimes always in bed and I have to get out of the house at least once a week or I am just in a slump. I am on celexa 60mg right now and can't even tell if it is working or not though i want to go back on my nortriptaline and the doc took me off it to put me on Lyrica, which so far,

am not impressed. Got out of bed today and couldn't walk very far, or I should say it looked like I was on alcohol, kept falling over (I just doubled the dose up(150 mg) and yesterday I was so tired, i didn't want to take the dog to the vet but had to force myself). I have to talk to my doc about going back on the nortriptaline because i noticed a difference being on it, it did help me and even if i didn't take even my 25mg, a day later i'd be crying all the time. I call them my crying pills. Well, my yesterday story is below. Hope everyone feels better! am sorry if this is repeated: I had to put my 11 year old yellow Labrador to sleep yesterday. The only memory i hate is having to do that. I pick up his ashes in 2 weeks He had kidney failure and I would have to go to MN for dialysis and then each treatment is 1,000 a piece. Oh how i wish i did that. I would have borrowed heaven and earth to fix

him up. No one understands the saying "I treat my animals like I treat my kids", to me they are on equal footing but apparently not all think that way. That statement was used against me. And now not sure how much "rescuing" I can do until my kids are 18. I have to close or I will be crying more and my eyes are burning from crying so much. i did do a candle light vigil for both my dogs. just why do they not live as long as we do, it sucks /WI __________________________________________________

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I am

going through a rough patch myself and it doesn't seem to be

> passing...if it is, I think a kidney stone would be LESS painful.

>

> I have had someone back off from me (online) because I was sick.

I'm

> assuming that's the reason because she has never bothered to

explain

> herself to me. Don't expect everyone to walk a mile in my shoes

but I

> would hope this person would have tried to be a little more

> empathetic. I think I am already past the guilt....I am not one

of the

> ones who feel I did something to " deserve " what has happened to

> me....at least I HOPE I'm not. I wish I could really TALK to

this

> person and make her understand that she's more fortunate than she

> knows.

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

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Hi,I do understand about losing dogs. We lost our one Lab on April 1 of this yr and a sheltie in July. And, we have had many dogs and of course they either get old or sick and well then that is it. Dogs, any pet, are so wonderful but there is that horrible price one must pay when they die. The sorrow is awful. I am sorry you must go through that mourning period and adjustment to losing your Lab.As to your old meds that you liked better, tell your doctor you want it/them back. If it ain't broken why try to fix it. Nortriptaline is a tricyclic antidepressant and tricyclics are good for pain, depression and sleep. They are old, been around long time, and cheap. Lyrica is not safer nor better just new and different type seizure med used for pain, sometimes depression, but is lot more expensive and really being pushed by the drug companies. Its your buck, your life and your health; so take charge. B

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,

I understand what you're going through. Some years ago I had to put my

cat to sleep. She'd been with me for 13 years; she *was* family, and

so was your dog, no matter what anyone tells you.

I'm sorry for your loss.

-Carl

>

> It was making me depressed watching my dog waste away.

> And my husband says that it makes him depressed when I am in bed all

the

> time sleeping

> I told him it was my " healing " time.

> He said just having my presence in the living room or the room he is

in,

> helps him.

>

> My h/a pain isn't as great, while sleeping, actually any pain is

gone while

> sleeping for me, that is probably why I like it so much (a hobby for

me,

> apparently. i even liked it as a kid, wouldn't get up until 10 and

missed

> breakfast to do it) though I do tend to get bored sometimes always

in bed

> and I have to get out of the house at least once a week or I am just

in a

> slump.

>

> I am on celexa 60mg right now and can't even tell if it is working

or not

> though i want to go back on my nortriptaline and the doc took me off

it to

> put me on Lyrica, which so far, am not impressed. Got out of bed

today and

> couldn't walk very far, or I should say it looked like I was on

alcohol,

> kept falling over (I just doubled the dose up(150 mg) and yesterday

I was

> so tired, i didn't want to take the dog to the vet but had to force

myself).

> I have to talk to my doc about going back on the nortriptaline

because i

> noticed a difference being on it, it did help me and even if i

didn't take

> even my 25mg, a day later i'd be crying all the time. I call them my

crying

> pills.

> Well, my yesterday story is below.

> Hope everyone feels better!

>

>

>

> am sorry if this is repeated:

> I had to put my 11 year old yellow Labrador to sleep yesterday.

> The only memory i hate is having to do that.

> I pick up his ashes in 2 weeks

> He had kidney failure and I would have to go to MN for dialysis and then

> each treatment is 1,000 a piece. Oh how i wish i did that. I would have

> borrowed heaven and earth to fix him up. No one understands the

saying " I

> treat my animals like I treat my kids " , to me they are on equal

footing but

> apparently not all think that way. That statement was used against

me. And

> now not sure how much " rescuing " I can do until my kids are 18.

>

> I have to close or I will be crying more and my eyes are burning

from crying

> so much.

> i did do a candle light vigil for both my dogs.

> just why do they not live as long as we do, it sucks

>

> /WI

>

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Hang in there and I know things can be so hard being so sick all the time but I hope your good things in life help you and that you are able to cope with the help of the meds..........HUGS Colleen

Depression

It was making me depressed watching my dog waste away.

And my husband says that it makes him depressed when I am in bed all the

time sleeping

I told him it was my "healing" time.

He said just having my presence in the living room or the room he is in,

helps him.

My h/a pain isn't as great, while sleeping, actually any pain is gone while

sleeping for me, that is probably why I like it so much (a hobby for me,

apparently. i even liked it as a kid, wouldn't get up until 10 and missed

breakfast to do it) though I do tend to get bored sometimes always in bed

and I have to get out of the house at least once a week or I am just in a

slump.

I am on celexa 60mg right now and can't even tell if it is working or not

though i want to go back on my nortriptaline and the doc took me off it to

put me on Lyrica, which so far, am not impressed. Got out of bed today and

couldn't walk very far, or I should say it looked like I was on alcohol,

kept falling over (I just doubled the dose up(150 mg) and yesterday I was

so tired, i didn't want to take the dog to the vet but had to force myself).

I have to talk to my doc about going back on the nortriptaline because i

noticed a difference being on it, it did help me and even if i didn't take

even my 25mg, a day later i'd be crying all the time. I call them my crying

pills.

Well, my yesterday story is below.

Hope everyone feels better!

am sorry if this is repeated:

I had to put my 11 year old yellow Labrador to sleep yesterday.

The only memory i hate is having to do that.

I pick up his ashes in 2 weeks

He had kidney failure and I would have to go to MN for dialysis and then

each treatment is 1,000 a piece. Oh how i wish i did that. I would have

borrowed heaven and earth to fix him up. No one understands the saying "I

treat my animals like I treat my kids", to me they are on equal footing but

apparently not all think that way. That statement was used against me. And

now not sure how much "rescuing" I can do until my kids are 18.

I have to close or I will be crying more and my eyes are burning from crying

so much.

i did do a candle light vigil for both my dogs.

just why do they not live as long as we do, it sucks

/WI

Email and AIM finally together. You've gotta check out free AOL Mail!

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DITTO MELISSA;; IM VERY SORRY ALSO FOR YOUR LOSS OF YOUR DEAR PET;; THEY ARE SO MUCH A PART OF THE FAMILY;; MY DAUGHTER LOST HER DEAR DOG A COUPLE YEARS AGO;; I THOT SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN;; SHE TOOK IT SO HARD;; EVEN THO SHE HAS 3 BOYS HER DOG WAS HER BABY;;HE DIED IN HER ARMS;; WAS 13 & SICK ALSO HEALING ((HUGS)) DORTcrcbettis <crcbettis@...> wrote: ,I understand what you're going through. Some years ago I had to put mycat to sleep. She'd been with me for

13 years; she *was* family, andso was your dog, no matter what anyone tells you.I'm sorry for your loss.-Carl>> It was making me depressed watching my dog waste away.> And my husband says that it makes him depressed when I am in bed allthe > time sleeping> I told him it was my "healing" time.> He said just having my presence in the living room or the room he isin, > helps him.> > My h/a pain isn't as great, while sleeping, actually any pain isgone while > sleeping for me, that is probably why I like it so much (a hobby forme, > apparently. i even liked it as a kid, wouldn't get up until 10 andmissed > breakfast to do it) though I do tend to get bored sometimes alwaysin bed > and I have to get

out of the house at least once a week or I am justin a > slump.> > I am on celexa 60mg right now and can't even tell if it is workingor not> though i want to go back on my nortriptaline and the doc took me offit to > put me on Lyrica, which so far, am not impressed. Got out of bedtoday and > couldn't walk very far, or I should say it looked like I was onalcohol, > kept falling over (I just doubled the dose up(150 mg) and yesterdayI was > so tired, i didn't want to take the dog to the vet but had to forcemyself). > I have to talk to my doc about going back on the nortriptalinebecause i > noticed a difference being on it, it did help me and even if ididn't take > even my 25mg, a day later i'd be crying all the time. I call them mycrying > pills.> Well, my yesterday story is below.> Hope everyone feels better!> > >

> am sorry if this is repeated:> I had to put my 11 year old yellow Labrador to sleep yesterday.> The only memory i hate is having to do that.> I pick up his ashes in 2 weeks> He had kidney failure and I would have to go to MN for dialysis and then> each treatment is 1,000 a piece. Oh how i wish i did that. I would have> borrowed heaven and earth to fix him up. No one understands thesaying "I> treat my animals like I treat my kids", to me they are on equalfooting but> apparently not all think that way. That statement was used againstme. And> now not sure how much "rescuing" I can do until my kids are 18.> > I have to close or I will be crying more and my eyes are burningfrom crying> so much.> i did do a candle light vigil for both my dogs.> just why do they not live as long as we do, it sucks> >

/WI>

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IM SO SORRY KIM;; LIKE I SAID IN ANOTHER POST ;THIS IS A BAD TIME OF YEAR FOR DEPRESSION; I PRAY THAT IT GETS BETTER FOR YOU;; KEEP UP THE FAITH;;I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS ((HEALING HUGS)) TO YOU DORTkim <1heavenscent1@...> wrote: Hello group, I have not posted in awhile because depression has gotten the best of me. I can not take it anymore! I do not know how to live my life with all MY afflictions. Best part is neither does my hubby. He is not supportive and in fact makes things worse ALOT of times. I just do not know how to restart my life. I miss it ! I feel everything falling apart around me

! I am only 42 and a new first time grandma and it does not help me that my daughter lives 4 hrs away from me. I have a cam to see them but it is NOT the same. My daughter is my best friend and I miss her terribly ! I miss my 1 yr old granddaughter just as much if not more ! I have Fibromyalgia and

osteoarthritis and DDD of the cervical spine. I want to just take off , run away. I miss where I used to live and it is really hurting me deep down not to be there ! ! ! Well, thank you for being here so I can vent. God bless you all and have a low pain night. Gentle

Hugs, Kim ( heavenscent )

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  • 2 months later...

Hi Larry!

I didn't mean to imply that I beat the depression by such tools as the sundial! That tool and some others merely helped me survive until I found a way out! or perhaps the way, which became wayS, found me.

I am glad for you that your depression doesn't stay severe all the time though!

Orthomolecular medicine, which is a lot harder to find nowadays, I think, and no longer covered by Medicare, was my way toward health. And now I 'do' mostly 'energy medicines' to try to keep me going. And they are pretty much NOT covered by insurances. sigh. Right now I am taking a month off, smilin', as keeping up with them all got me TIRED!

Again I am so very fortunate not to have physical pain! At this point the main concerns for me are major fatigue, and my 'part-time brain'. That is with considerable cognitive losses, but sometimes I do quite well (and sometimes can't even make change etc).

I think you are pretty remarkable!!

Jean

Depression

thank you so much for telling me about your Dad giving you his knowledge on the way to look at things. I think its wounderful that you beat the depression problem that many of us have. I wish I could do something to keep it away from me but it seems like a couple times a year it appears so suddenly and I dont usually know why. I do have times when I hurt a little or not at all ,I didnt mean to sound like it is 100% of the time. Ive got pps which weakens my muscles with lots of aches and on top of that have had lymes for some time. Live in the woods and have four large Newfoundland type dogs and that means lots of wood ticks. Thank you again Larry

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  • 2 months later...
Guest guest

I sometimes find myself locked into a world where I worry too much about symptoms of HIV and this causes a depression which makes me bored with the world. Not just that, diarrhea sometimes keeps me tethered to the toilet all day.Jeff,We all have our bad days......glad you posted. I think we all live lives that are far too isolated. As a species, I think we're more adapted to annoying each other than to being alone.Are you getting out enough? Seeing the world? Have you talked to your doctor? Friends? What are you doing for the diarrhea? A little lomotil never hurt......and if fear of accidents is keeping your house bound, it's a serious problem, one that's affecting your quality of life.Take care of yourself.JB

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Does it help to know that you are not alone in dealing with these problems?

Sanford

Sanford M. Gross, OD, FAAO

Associate Professor

Illinois College of Optometry

3241 South Michigan Ave

Chicago, Illinois 60616

>>> <jefflabno@...> 3/3/2008 12:40 PM >>>

Hi all

I sometimes find myself locked into a world where I worry too much about

symptoms of HIV and this causes a depression which makes me bored with the

world. Not just that, diarrhea sometimes keeps me tethered to the toilet all

day.

I take medication for diarrhea, and also for depression.

Does anyone have any suggestions to help me break this terrible cycle?

I guess I just need cheering up today.

Thanks,

jeff

--

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http://www.labnoconsulting.com

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Depression is always a difficult topic, and kudos for sharing. While I'm in no way an expert, I do know that depression can have two major sources; chemical imbalance and life circumstances. After loosing my partner in November 2006, I am finally starting to come out of a very deep depression. I talked with my HIV doctor extensively as well as several friends, and I decided that using medications would probably not really help. I had tried them in the past and just didn't like how I felt. I also tried doing grief support groups, but I'm just not the open sharing type of guy.

I have recently started using injectable testosterone, which is proving to be amazing. Not only do I have a better outlook, I have more energy and a sex drive that's starting to return.

But, one very simple way to help on those difficult days is to get up and MOVE. Simple exercise can do wonders. There were days that were so bad for me that getting out of bed to go to the bathroom took every ounce of strength. But, I would make myself walk up and down the steps a couple of times, and I actually started to feel a little better. Exercise makes your body release lots of things that will help you mentally. My apologies for not having the more correct scientific terms but I've been doing my taxes. LOL

So, go for a walk, even if it's around your house. Find some support, either with a group or even one or two close friends. If nothing else, your best friend will always be looking back at you in a mirror. Remember what always made/makes you happy. . a good book, favorite food, outdoor activity. Just be good and kind to yourself. If you find your depression is around what MIGHT happen with your HIV, find out all you can so you know what's realistic and what's only a slim possibility.

And finally, this group has and always will be, a source of strength and understanding.

**************It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms, and advice on AOL Money & Finance. (http://money.aol.com/tax?NCID=aolprf00030000000001)

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