Introductions

[Guest guest]

Hi Kym,I think you will get some good info from this group. We are all going through similar frustrations. It sounds like you could really use a break to recharge your batteries. It is only fair..you can't possibly be all things to all your family members all the time. Can you get some time off for yourself whether it be to go on a walk or join a support group or do something fun? Maybe getting a family member to come over or friend to help. Maybe some counseling for you and your family would be beneficial. I hope this helps. You are not alone. This group has some creative people who can offer advice and lend an ear when you are feeling down.Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: "Kym" <kymstyr@...>Sender: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2010 19:00:39 -0500<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Reply Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: Introductions Hi. I am the mother of a 10 yr old adopted son with AS, ADHD, IED, and a whole alphabet soup of diagnoses, and also mom to a 3 year old "normal" biological son. My husband is a good father but very removed from the daily "going-on" in our household because he is hearing-impaired. I basically single parent my children while my husband works, and when he is here, it is sometimes easier to handle the situation myself than to try and take the time to sign to him what is going on. Usually because the situation requires my immediate attention and I don't have time to locate my husband, translate what is happening and then tend to the situation. In my application to the group I stated I needed help with my 10 year old. He was just like all the other 3 year olds when he first came into our home as a foster child. He has matured, but the affects of his disorders have become more and more apparent to us and to his peers as he gets older. He has become very depressed and I feel like I put some undue expectations on him as the "older brother". I expect him to reason and deduce when it comes to helping a bit with his 3 year old brother, and he just isn't capable. I get so very frustrated sometimes. When I am at the end of my frayed rope, is there any chat room or instant help for ME after I have diffused the meltdown, calmed the fears of my little one, explained what happened to my husband and am about ready to cry? My older son has become very depressed and I think it is because of me and how I react to him sometimes. He feels like he isn't what I expect him to be. How miserably I have failed him! I feel awful and need someone to talk things through. I am so literally exhausted at the end of the day and I don't take the time and energy to really explain what is going on to my husband. I am failing him, too. He needs to know about all that goes on, but I just don't have it in me sometimes to rehash it again in sign language. It involves showing the facial emotion so he understands the intensity of what I am describing, etc. Most times I am so happy to be passed the situation, I don't want to relive it all over again. I love all of my family and I don't want to do a disservice to any of them but I don't know how to change my patterns. What I want most is to help my son. He really feels like he isn't loved and nothing could be farther from the truth. I love him so much it hurts. He really perceives things differently from how they actually are in all areas of his life and I just don't know what to do. Anyone have advice?Kym

[Guest guest]

Hi

No, anyone who gets acepted is considered a real person.  Groups

without the process of signing up get flooded with SPAM because

websites sign up and then share their products.  We still gets lots

of posts from pharmaceutical companies, etc, but they get caught

either in our spam page or I delete them.  Anyone who joins up is

moderated until they have posted a few times.  It has happened that

people have signed up only so they can advertise their products,

often with no connection to autism at all.  There is an unoffical '3

strikes and you're out' policy.  The first 2 times they are asked

not to post again, the third time they are not allowed to post

again.

If your posts don't go through straight away, it's because you are

moderated.  After I see posts from the same people for a week or two

with no spam and no flaming, I set their membership to 'unmoderated'

as soon as I get time (which sometimes takes a few days), and then

posts go straight to the group.  If anyone has been here a while and

i haven't 'unmoderated' them yet, they can remind me.

Most posts get a reply fairly quickly.  Sometimes one doesn't. 

There seems to be no real reason for this - I guess sometimes we all

get busy, or we simply don't know the answer.  Every so often

takes a dislike to someone and all their posts go to Spam.  I check

every few days, but if your post doesn't show up after 24 hours, it

wouldn't hurt to send an email to the group owner, as that won't end

up in Spam.

On 23/11/2010 11:11 AM, Seeley wrote:

 

, parent of AS child, age 14. Yes, I am a real

person, no my

messages are not spam.

Is that why I'm not getting any responses? I had no idea

you thought I

was spamming!

On 11/22/2010 3:29 PM, Riley wrote:

> When signing up for this group everyone has to state

why they want to

> join. The most common response is 'parent of AS

child'. What you put

> doesn't really matter, it's just to prove you are a

real person and the

> group won't get flooded with SPAM. I've noticed some

people do write

> more of an introduction which it would be useful for

the whole group to

> see. Unfortunately, what you write when applying is

seen only by me,

> and once I approve the application it disappears ...

somewhere. I have

> tried forwarding a couple on to the group, but it

doesn't work.

>

> So, if you wrote your introduction when applying

thinking it would go to

> the whole group, could you please share in your first

post to the

> group. And, because rules on education, etc, differ

so much between

> countries and states, could you please let us know at

least what state

> you are in when asking questions about education?

>

> And welcome to any new members.

>

> Thanks

>

> [moderator

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,Is there a way to get the digest version of the emails?Thanks,Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: Riley <klriley@...>Sender: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2010 10:29:39 +1100<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Reply Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Introductions When signing up for this group everyone has to state why they want to join. The most common response is 'parent of AS child'. What you put doesn't really matter, it's just to prove you are a real person and the group won't get flooded with SPAM. I've noticed some people do write more of an introduction which it would be useful for the whole group to see. Unfortunately, what you write when applying is seen only by me, and once I approve the application it disappears ... somewhere. I have tried forwarding a couple on to the group, but it doesn't work.So, if you wrote your introduction when applying thinking it would go to the whole group, could you please share in your first post to the group. And, because rules on education, etc, differ so much between countries and states, could you please let us know at least what state you are in when asking questions about education?And welcome to any new members.Thanks [moderator

[Guest guest]

Thanks ! Not to worry...

On 11/22/2010 4:32 PM, Riley wrote:

> Hi

>

> No, anyone who gets acepted is considered a real person. Groups

> without the process of signing up get flooded with SPAM because

> websites sign up and then share their products. We still gets lots of

> posts from pharmaceutical companies, etc, but they get caught either

> in our spam page or I delete them. Anyone who joins up is moderated

> until they have posted a few times. It has happened that people have

> signed up only so they can advertise their products, often with no

> connection to autism at all. There is an unoffical '3 strikes and

> you're out' policy. The first 2 times they are asked not to post

> again, the third time they are not allowed to post again.

>

> If your posts don't go through straight away, it's because you are

> moderated. After I see posts from the same people for a week or two

> with no spam and no flaming, I set their membership to 'unmoderated'

> as soon as I get time (which sometimes takes a few days), and then

> posts go straight to the group. If anyone has been here a while and i

> haven't 'unmoderated' them yet, they can remind me.

>

> Most posts get a reply fairly quickly. Sometimes one doesn't. There

> seems to be no real reason for this - I guess sometimes we all get

> busy, or we simply don't know the answer. Every so often takes

> a dislike to someone and all their posts go to Spam. I check every

> few days, but if your post doesn't show up after 24 hours, it wouldn't

> hurt to send an email to the group owner, as that won't end up in Spam.

>

>

>

> On 23/11/2010 11:11 AM, Seeley wrote:

>>

>> , parent of AS child, age 14. Yes, I am a real person, no my

>> messages are not spam.

>> Is that why I'm not getting any responses? I had no idea you thought I

>> was spamming!

>>

>> On 11/22/2010 3:29 PM, Riley wrote:

>> > When signing up for this group everyone has to state why they want to

>> > join. The most common response is 'parent of AS child'. What you put

>> > doesn't really matter, it's just to prove you are a real person and

>> the

>> > group won't get flooded with SPAM. I've noticed some people do write

>> > more of an introduction which it would be useful for the whole

>> group to

>> > see. Unfortunately, what you write when applying is seen only by me,

>> > and once I approve the application it disappears ... somewhere. I have

>> > tried forwarding a couple on to the group, but it doesn't work.

>> >

>> > So, if you wrote your introduction when applying thinking it would

>> go to

>> > the whole group, could you please share in your first post to the

>> > group. And, because rules on education, etc, differ so much between

>> > countries and states, could you please let us know at least what state

>> > you are in when asking questions about education?

>> >

>> > And welcome to any new members.

>> >

>> > Thanks

>> >

>> > [moderator

>> >

>> >

>>

>>

>

[Guest guest]

The easiest way is to log-in to the home page.  Up near the top of

the page, left hand side, it says 'Edit Membership'.  Click on

that.  About 2/3 of the way down the page that takes you to, there

is 'Message Delivery' and the option of either 'individual emails'

or 'daily digest'.  Click the one you want and then click 'Save

Changes' down the bottom of the page, right hand side.  Changes

sometimes take a while (up to 1 hr) to work, but you should not get

any individual emails after that.  If you have trouble, send me an

email and I can change it for you.

On 23/11/2010 11:51 AM, mdecola3@... wrote:

 

Hi ,

Is there a way to get the digest version of the emails?

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

Hi Kym,

I can so relate to your problems! I have a

13yr old son AS-ADHD and a 7yr old daughter whom we believe is ADHD. My son is

not biologically my husbands, his father died nearly 10 years ago. My son went

through A LOT of changes at an early age, his father passed (I never was

married to him), I married and he learnt he would become a big brother this was

all in kindy for him. For years he was the ONLY child. We were just learning

that something wasn’t quite right but we couldn’t put our finger on it. In

kindy for him, I just brushed it off to the passing of his father. The kindy

teacher was literally flaying her arms in drama when I would see her to tell me

“how smart he was, but he doesn’t pay attention”. She was literally at her wits

end with him, after that year she retired at an early age. To this day, if I

see her in public she always tells me how smart he is and how is he doing.

Later as the little sister arrived, it was all a blur to me then. (Pregnancy

was unexpected and I had complications with my son, either child that I have

birthed; I have a long story about their births-lets just keep it simple and

say they were both miracles). For this they are very special to me but

especially my son’s birth.

Today, we still struggle with how the kids

interact. Both children have entirely different methods of learning, they are

the total opposites. This makes it very tough as a parent alone not to mention

the dx they each carry. I explain and encourage my son to be an example to his

sibling. When I notice him doing something, I praise him a lot. My son went

through a deep depression in 5th grade. It was agonizing as his

mother-I felt my hands were so tied! I always set up something for them to

interact and make them each feel a part of the family. I do this with chores

even, dish time they end up working together and don’t even realize it. Not

every night it works but I still encourage and tell them that we are a family

and each of us must do our share. My husband has a heart condition and when this

incident happened, I sat them both down and explained they would have to come

together more as a family. Perhaps your son may understand this better than the

3yr old of course but make him feel he is important by telling him, you rely on

him and you need his help.

My son has gotten better with his

depression, he was also suicidal, I believe it was a mixture of changes-school

was a HUGE part of the problem. Transferring to a new school, we were made to

and fifth grade being a transitional year, the students had to move to class to

class per subject. This threw him into a depression because he didn’t know or

couldn’t relate to say what the problem was. I was doing all I could do and

begging the school to make changes, I pre warned them that this would happen. I

would also suggest you sitting down and talking to your husband, alone of

course and explain just how you feel, maybe the two of you could brainstorm

together to make things much better or atleast where you get a break!

Keep posting and pouring it all out here—if

it wasn’t for my groups years ago- I wouldn’t have a clue!

Deb’s

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of Riley

Sent: Monday, November 22, 2010

6:21 PM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: Re:

Re: Introductions

Our son

(AS, ADHD) also went through a bad stage at about 10. He has improved a

lot since then. He was depressed to the point of talking about suicide,

often got angry, etc. We went to the paediatrician and found out a few

specific things to do to help. I think part of it was also just growing

up. While he is in some ways maturing more slowly than his peers, he is

getting there. We learnt early not to expect him to help with his younger

sister. If she cried or got upset, his only response was to run and get

us. They could play together ok - most of the time - but he was not any

help with actually looking after her. As she got older, I think she spent

more time looking after him than the other way round. It took us years to

persuade our son that we love him, and he still doubts it often. At 16 he

can reason that we probably do, even if he doesn't feel like it. But not

when he is in a dark mood - then all that exists is how he feels right

now. We just have to let that pass, and then he'll be OK. Don't

beat yourself up about reacting sometimes. I also have AS/ADHD and my son

still manages to push me past my limit of patience. Sometimes I think he

takes it as a challenge to get me to react. We're enough alike that he

knows exactly how to get to me. Other times we are just both having a bad

day, and the only thing either can do is apologise when it's all over.

<sigh>

I don't know of any chat room, etc, but someone on here probably will.

KEvin

On 23/11/2010 11:00 AM, Kym wrote:

Hi. I am the mother of a 10 yr old adopted son with

AS, ADHD, IED, and a whole alphabet soup of diagnoses, and also mom to a 3 year

old " normal " biological son. My husband is a good father but

very removed from the daily " going-on " in our household because he is

hearing-impaired. I basically single parent my children while my husband

works, and when he is here, it is sometimes easier to handle the situation

myself than to try and take the time to sign to him what is going on.

Usually because the situation requires my immediate attention and I don't have

time to locate my husband, translate what is happening and then tend to the

situation. In my application to the group I stated I needed help with my

10 year old. He was just like all the other 3 year olds when he first

came into our home as a foster child. He has matured, but the affects of

his disorders have become more and more apparent to us and to his peers as he

gets older. He has become very depressed and I feel like I put some undue

expectations on him as the " older brother " . I expect him to

reason and deduce when it comes to helping a bit with his 3 year old

brother, and he just isn't capable. I get so very frustrated

sometimes. When I am at the end of my frayed rope, is there any chat room

or instant help for ME after I have diffused the meltdown, calmed the fears

of my little one, explained what happened to my husband and am about ready to

cry? My older son has become very depressed and I think it is because of

me and how I react to him sometimes. He feels like he isn't what I expect

him to be. How miserably I have failed him! I feel awful and need

someone to talk things through. I am so literally exhausted at the end of

the day and I don't take the time and energy to really explain what is going on

to my husband. I am failing him, too. He needs to know about all

that goes on, but I just don't have it in me sometimes to rehash it again in

sign language. It involves showing the facial emotion so he understands

the intensity of what I am describing, etc. Most times I am so happy

to be passed the situation, I don't want to relive it all over again. I

love all of my family and I don't want to do a disservice to any of them but I

don't know how to change my patterns. What I want most is to help my

son. He really feels like he isn't loved and nothing could be farther

from the truth. I love him so much it hurts. He really perceives

things differently from how they actually are in all areas of his life and I

just don't know what to do. Anyone have advice?

Kym

[Guest guest]

,

I am in Plano, TX---where in TX are you?  Your name sounds very familiar---have we met?

On Mon, Jul 18, 2011 at 9:04 PM, <gregorynicole71@...> wrote:

 

My name is and I am an occupational therapist from Texas. I am recent graduate with my Masters in OT. I took the postural and dynamic reflex course in April. I am very excited about this work and have seen it work in the kids I serve. I am currently working with an early childhood intervention program and work with kids from birth to 3 years with a variety of diagnoses. I am eager to learn and look forward to chatting with the group.

Sincerely,

-- Donna BatemanNeurodevelopmental Specialistwww.parentswithpurpose.com

Natural Moms Talk Radio Interview Podcast:  http://is.gd/4WwibMom to 26, Katy Kartchner 24 , Preston 22, Annie 20, Kent 18, Callie 15 (cured from dyslexia), Carson 13, Dawson 11 (brain injured--was severe now mild!)

[Guest guest]

I am from Tyler, TX. I graduated in December from the TWU OT program so there is a possibility that we have met. On Jul 19, 2011, at 10:25 AM, Donna Bateman <donna.bateman@...> wrote:

,

I am in Plano, TX---where in TX are you? Your name sounds very familiar---have we met?

On Mon, Jul 18, 2011 at 9:04 PM, <gregorynicole71@...> wrote:

My name is and I am an occupational therapist from Texas. I am recent graduate with my Masters in OT. I took the postural and dynamic reflex course in April. I am very excited about this work and have seen it work in the kids I serve. I am currently working with an early childhood intervention program and work with kids from birth to 3 years with a variety of diagnoses. I am eager to learn and look forward to chatting with the group.

Sincerely,

-- Donna BatemanNeurodevelopmental Specialistwww.parentswithpurpose.com

Natural Moms Talk Radio Interview Podcast: http://is.gd/4WwibMom to 26, Katy Kartchner 24 , Preston 22, Annie 20, Kent 18, Callie 15 (cured from dyslexia), Carson 13, Dawson 11 (brain injured--was severe now mild!)

[Guest guest]

Hello all, I am new to the group and figured I would just jump right in and tell

you all about myself. I was diagnosed with scoliosis 36 years ago. I had a 56

degree C curve, had a Harrington rod inserted 34 years ago, and each day am is

some kind of hip or back pain. I can't say that I have gotten use to the pain

but have just learned to live with it. To help me deal with the pain I have

been going to a chiropractor for the past 25 years. There are certain spinal

manipulations that he cannot do becuasuse of the rod, but he does his best to

get rid of the pain and for the most part it has worked for me.

I just stumbled across this group and I wanted to check it out to see what it

was all about. I have three other sisters and two of them have also had

scoliosis surgery. We all went to the same surgeon who worked out of NY

Presbyterian Hospital. We had never heard of scoliosis, but sing the day I was

diagnosed I've heard so much. I am looking forward to geting to know all of

you.

[Guest guest]

Hi Gail,

I also had my first scoliosis surgery, 81 degree curve, in columbia, in 1980

with Dr. Roye. Welcome to the group. Its been very informative to me. They

have helped me with support during my revision surgery this past January.

Tricia

Sent from my iPad

[Guest guest]

Gail, I remember seeing an illustration in a booklet Dr. Keim showed me and my mother of the body cast I was going to have to wear, and my heart stopped. I was 18 and the cast was the epitome of UGLY. I was mortified. It IS funny the things we remember! I did have to have revision surgery (in 2003 with Dr. Boachie at the Hospital for Special Surgery in NYC). I had developed Flatback Syndrome, sciatica, stenosis and a ton of referred pain (in my right foot). I was in so much pain I was overdosing daily on Ultram. I was a psychotherapist at the time and I would start to sweat from the pain during sessions with my clients. I was such a mess. The revision resolved all of the those problems but, unfortunately, I developed two others and they became debilitating. I have scar tissue pain where my curve was and also chronic fatigue. I’m now working with doctors to reduce those, but I don’t feel very optimistic. Still, I’ll give anything a try. Sad to say, I haven’t been able to work since 2005 and it’s been a very hard adjustment (psychologically). How are you and your sisters and your mom doing? Andy From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of gailnewfeldSent: Thursday, September 15, 2011 7:15 PM Subject: Re: Introductions Yes I did. I remember like it was yesterday sitting in his office with my parents and all I could see was the thickness of his glasses. When we got out of his office I turned to my parents and said " did you see how thick those glasses were? You're gonna let him operate on my spine!!! " Funny what we remember, huh? Yes, he operated on me in 1978, two of my sisters, and my mother. Are you having any problems?>> Hi Gail! > > > > Did you see Hugo Keim at Columbia-Pres? So did I! In 1973, for a 56 degree> curve!> > > > Welcome to the group!> > > > Andy Stanton> > Boulder CO>

[Guest guest]

hi all my name is joseph from the uk, and i have been in a lot of pain with my scoliosis, till i when to my gp, he has put me on prednisolone tablets 2 days into taking them NO PAIN, I CAN DO A LOT I COULD NOT DO BEFORE, MOVING AROUND IS GOOD, WALKING GOOD, BUT I DONT NO HOW IT WILL KEEP GOING, I WILL KEEP YOU ALL UPDATE, BUT NOW ITS GREAT JOSEPH From: Leger

<legerpj@...> Sent: Thursday, 15 September 2011, 16:35Subject: RE: Introductions

Introductions

Hello all, I am new to the group and figured I would just jump right in and

tell you all about myself. I was diagnosed with scoliosis 36 years ago. I

had a 56 degree C curve, had a Harrington rod inserted 34 years ago, and

each day am is some kind of hip or back pain. I can't say that I have

gotten use to the pain but have just learned to live with it. To help me

deal with the pain I have been going to a chiropractor for the past 25

years. There are certain spinal manipulations that he cannot do becuasuse

of the rod, but he does his best to get rid of the pain and for the most

part it has worked for me.

I just stumbled across this group and I wanted to check it out to see what

it was all about. I have three other sisters and two of them have also had

scoliosis surgery. We all went to the same surgeon who worked out of NY

Presbyterian Hospital. We had never heard of scoliosis, but sing the day I

was diagnosed I've heard so much. I am looking forward to geting to know

all of you.

------------------------------------

Support for scoliosis-surgery veterans with flatback syndrome caused by

spinal hardware. Not medical advice. Group does not control ads at

site.

[Guest guest]

Hugo Keim Alumni.... 42 degrees...I was 15 years old. 1974. There were 7 of us

at Babies Hospital that week. 9 months later to the day, I got my cast off...

and there was one of the boys who was on my floor for those 3 weeks getting his

cast off too... to celebrate.... we made out.

Thanks for the memories. Thankfully the revision surgery has made me pain free.

Now 2 years 3 months....

[Guest guest]

Andy,

Regarding your CFS, have you been evalaluated for sleep apnea?

Best,

> >

> > Hi Gail!

> >

> >

> >

> > Did you see Hugo Keim at Columbia-Pres? So did I! In 1973, for a 56

degree

> > curve!

> >

> >

> >

> > Welcome to the group!

> >

> >

> >

> > Andy Stanton

> >

> > Boulder CO

> >

>