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anyone hear of Wakefield?

> Re: (unknown)

>

>

>

> The question for me is " Is your son happy? " Does he enjoy spending time in the

library and computer lab? Is he satisfied with the social contact he has after

school and online? Some children on the spectrum are perfectly happy with this

level of interaction. They love their intellectual pursuits, and tend to avoid

emotional relating. They enjoy interacting around their common interests or

intellectual pursuits, and feel more comfortable relating online where they do

not have to regulate the nonverbal pragmatics of face to face relating. In other

words they often feel more comfortable with intellectual interaction, rather

then emotional interaction. That's ok. As long as they learn to live and work

along side of others, they will do just fine.

>

>Bill

>

>

>> >

>> >> Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My

>> >> son is 15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him

>> >> and what he is going thru everyday. He has " normal friends " , but they

>> >> just are not close, more like aquaintances who tolerate him, they are

>> >> nice boys, but he has no " real " friends. Thanks

>> >>

>> >

>>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Yes it is Marilyn. It allows them to socialization in a way that is comfortable

for them. It is easy for them to process, requires less reading of nonverbal

communication, and gives them time to formulate a response. It slows down the

interaction and uses their strengths. Now, you have to watch who they are

chatting with, what they are chatting about, and that they are not getting into

trouble online. Also, " bullying " can be just as bad online, so be aware of it.

We need to use the children's strengthes to build " competence. " It can be a

good tool, as long as it doesn't become an obsession.

Bill

>

> >Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My son is

15

> >and wants desperately to find someone who understands him and what he is

going

> >thru everyday. He has " normal friends " , but they just are not close, more

like

> >aquaintances who tolerate him, they are nice boys, but he has no " real "

friends.

> >Thanks

> >

>

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Yes Francine it can be. We naturally tend to look at our children through our

own " social " experiences. We need to remember to look at it through the

children's eyes and natural interest. We need to provide them opportunities to

naturally be themselves, and regulate in the world competently " being

themselves. "

Bill

>

> Sometimes it's hard, as a parent, to see that. 

>  

> Francine

>  

>

>

> Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

> Spirit with Spirit can speak.

> Closer is Love than breathing,

> Nearer than hands and feet.

>

> (with appreciation for Tennyson)

>

>

> (unknown)

>

>   Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My son is

15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him and what he is

going thru everyday. He has " normal friends " , but they just are not close, more

like aquaintances who tolerate him, they are nice boys, but he has no " real "

friends. Thanks 

>

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Aspie children come in different social forms. One distinct personality style

is " I really want to have friends " and to relate on an emotional level with

others. They are the ones who struggle the most to fit in and to connect

emotionally with others. They are also the ones you have to watch out most for

anxiety and depression in teens and young adulthood (because of their constant

wish to " fit in " but repeated failures at trying). Sounds like you son might

fit that mode. He had a good friend. That is great. I would stay with trying

to get him involved in any group around his interests. Most children on the

spectrum can handle socializing better if it is around their favorite interests.

Also, socializing on line can be good also.

Then their are the aspies that do not have an inherent drive to relate

emotionally with others. They are perfectly find interacting instrumentally

(intellectually around their interests), and for getting alone " well enough " on

the job or at school. For them you do not want to drive them toward needing to

interact for emotional reasons, just because it is our desire.

> > >

> > >> Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My

> > >> son is 15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him

> > >> and what he is going thru everyday. He has " normal friends " , but they

> > >> just are not close, more like aquaintances who tolerate him, they are

> > >> nice boys, but he has no " real " friends. Thanks

> > >>

> > >

> >

>

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Ken, that is great. Then he is growing in the direction that is natural and

comfortable for him.

Bill

> > > >

> > > >> Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My

> > > >> son is 15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him

> > > >> and what he is going thru everyday. He has " normal friends " , but

> > they

> > > >> just are not close, more like aquaintances who tolerate him, they

> > are

> > > >> nice boys, but he has no " real " friends. Thanks

> > > >>

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

>

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Ken, that is great. Then he is growing in the direction that is natural and

comfortable for him.

Bill

> > > >

> > > >> Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My

> > > >> son is 15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him

> > > >> and what he is going thru everyday. He has " normal friends " , but

> > they

> > > >> just are not close, more like aquaintances who tolerate him, they

> > are

> > > >> nice boys, but he has no " real " friends. Thanks

> > > >>

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

>

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Gaming is such an attraction for these children for three main reasons. One, it

is one thing that helps them feel really " competent. " In a world that is filled

with so many things they don't feel competent doing, it is very attractive.

Two, it doesn't involve face to face regulating. Three, it is very stimulating

to the executive functioning part of the brain.

> > > >

> > > >> Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My

> > > >> son is 15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him

> > > >> and what he is going thru everyday. He has " normal friends " , but

> > they

> > > >> just are not close, more like aquaintances who tolerate him, they

> > are

> > > >> nice boys, but he has no " real " friends. Thanks

> > > >>

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

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i have been bullied online lots

> Re: (unknown)

>

> Yes it is Marilyn. It allows them to socialization in a way that is

comfortable for them. It is easy for them to process, requires less reading of

nonverbal communication, and gives them time to formulate a response. It slows

down the interaction and uses their strengths. Now, you have to watch who they

are chatting with, what they are chatting about, and that they are not getting

into trouble online. Also, " bullying " can be just as bad online, so be aware of

it.

>

> We need to use the children's strengthes to build " competence. " It can be a

good tool, as long as it doesn't become an obsession.

>

> Bill

>

>

> >

> > >Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My son is

15

> > >and wants desperately to find someone who understands him and what he is

going

> > >thru everyday. He has " normal friends " , but they just are not close, more

like

> > >aquaintances who tolerate him, they are nice boys, but he has no " real "

friends.

> > >Thanks

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

---------------------------------------

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That's really fascinating, Bill. My son is SUCH a videogame lover. What you stated makes perfect sense. MarilynFrom: Bill <nasonbill@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 6:20:00 AMSubject: Re: (unknown)

Gaming is such an attraction for these children for three main reasons. One, it is one thing that helps them feel really "competent." In a world that is filled with so many things they don't feel competent doing, it is very attractive. Two, it doesn't involve face to face regulating. Three, it is very stimulating to the executive functioning part of the brain.

> > > >

> > > >> Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My

> > > >> son is 15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him

> > > >> and what he is going thru everyday. He has "normal friends", but

> > they

> > > >> just are not close, more like aquaintances who tolerate him, they

> > are

> > > >> nice boys, but he has no "real" friends. Thanks

> > > >>

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

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It's not always easy. I know I've had a ton of anxiety about this school year (which started yesterday for us) because the twins started 4th grade (which is a new Sr. Elementary school for us) not only because of the school, but because *I* had such a traumatic, horrible 4th and 5th grade years. So I have lots of stress about it and had have to really talk myself down and try to emotionally detach from those memories. It's not easy. MarilynFrom: Bill <nasonbill@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 6:07:18 AMSubject: Re: (unknown)

Yes Francine it can be. We naturally tend to look at our children through our own "social" experiences. We need to remember to look at it through the children's eyes and natural interest. We need to provide them opportunities to naturally be themselves, and regulate in the world competently "being themselves."

Bill

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I am a huge gamer myself.

> Re: (unknown)

>

>

>

>

> Gaming is such an attraction for these children for three main reasons. One,

it is one thing that helps them feel really " competent. " In a world that is

filled with so many things they don't feel competent doing, it is very

attractive. Two, it doesn't involve face to face regulating. Three, it is very

stimulating to the executive functioning part of the brain.

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > >> Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My

> > > > >> son is 15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him

> > > > >> and what he is going thru everyday. He has " normal friends " , but

> > > they

> > > > >> just are not close, more like aquaintances who tolerate him, they

> > > are

> > > > >> nice boys, but he has no " real " friends. Thanks

> > > > >>

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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The obsession line is a fine one. He perseverates on a lot of things.As to his interactions (actually both my kids) I use webwatcherdata.com and the email program they use sends me copies of all emails (incoming and outgoing). Unfortunately (as far as my kids think ;-) Mommy is a computer geek and good at this stuff. ;-) So I track everything they do online. It allows me to spotcheck, etc. They are used to it (I locked down the PCs before they ever touched their first keyboard at 3) but they don't always love it--but they are used to it, since they know no other way. MarilynFrom: Bill <nasonbill@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 6:04:44 AMSubject: Re: (unknown)

Yes it is Marilyn. It allows them to socialization in a way that is comfortable for them. It is easy for them to process, requires less reading of nonverbal communication, and gives them time to formulate a response. It slows down the interaction and uses their strengths. Now, you have to watch who they are chatting with, what they are chatting about, and that they are not getting into trouble online. Also, "bullying" can be just as bad online, so be aware of it.

We need to use the children's strengthes to build "competence." It can be a good tool, as long as it doesn't become an obsession.

Bill

>

> >Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My son is 15

> >and wants desperately to find someone who understands him and what he is going

> >thru everyday. He has "normal friends", but they just are not close, more like

> >aquaintances who tolerate him, they are nice boys, but he has no "real" friends.

> >Thanks

> >

>

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I KNOW!!! I feel the same way, every start of a new school year is awful. The teachers here dont seem to give a good heads up about the kids triggers and individual needs. I always say at each new school year that I have to break in a new teacher,my son is in the special ed day class and is a sophomore this year,this year he has many of the same teachers, so I think (and hope) this year will be an easier transition. We are crossing our fingers anyways, and we are in the process of seeing a neuropsychologist, Dr. Leifler at Childrens Hospital Central Ca, so I am looking forward to that to see if they can offer more than we get here in Visalia, there isnt much of a choice of Dr.s here.

Candy

From: marilyn <onebusytwinmom@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 4:41:28 AMSubject: Re: Re: (unknown)

It's not always easy. I know I've had a ton of anxiety about this school year (which started yesterday for us) because the twins started 4th grade (which is a new Sr. Elementary school for us) not only because of the school, but because *I* had such a traumatic, horrible 4th and 5th grade years. So I have lots of stress about it and had have to really talk myself down and try to emotionally detach from those memories. It's not easy.

Marilyn

From: Bill <nasonbill@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 6:07:18 AMSubject: Re: (unknown)

Yes Francine it can be. We naturally tend to look at our children through our own "social" experiences. We need to remember to look at it through the children's eyes and natural interest. We need to provide them opportunities to naturally be themselves, and regulate in the world competently "being themselves."Bill

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Candy my son Westley is into the exact same things and had the same thing happen with his best friend he moved a half hour away and wes just doesn't seem to want to make a new friend he just wants gage to move back maybe we should try to get them writing or something, where do you live we live in freeport, illinois Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: marilyn <onebusytwinmom@...>Sender: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 04:37:50 -0700 (PDT)<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Reply Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: Re: (unknown) That's really fascinating, Bill. My son is SUCH a videogame lover. What you stated makes perfect sense. MarilynFrom: Bill <nasonbill@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 6:20:00 AMSubject: Re: (unknown) Gaming is such an attraction for these children for three main reasons. One, it is one thing that helps them feel really "competent." In a world that is filled with so many things they don't feel competent doing, it is very attractive. Two, it doesn't involve face to face regulating. Three, it is very stimulating to the executive functioning part of the brain.> > > >> > > >> Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My> > > >> son is 15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him> > > >> and what he is going thru everyday. He has "normal friends", but > > they> > > >> just are not close, more like aquaintances who tolerate him, they > > are> > > >> nice boys, but he has no "real" friends. Thanks> > > >>> > > >> > >> >> >> >>

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Gaming I wasnt so found of but you are right my now 8 year old I turned him onto the computer which he gains more knowledge and also feels confident in what he is doing...My son Dylan now shows me how to run the computer and fix it when something goes wrong...... Re: (unknown)

Gaming is such an attraction for these children for three main reasons. One, it is one thing that helps them feel really "competent." In a world that is filled with so many things they don't feel competent doing, it is very attractive. Two, it doesn't involve face to face regulating. Three, it is very stimulating to the executive functioning part of the brain.> > > >> > > >> Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My> > > >> son is 15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him> > > >> and what he is going thru everyday. He has "normal friends", but > > they> > > >> just are not close, more like aquaintances who tolerate him, they > > are> > > >> nice boys, but he has no "real" friends. Thanks> > > >>> > > >> > >> >> >> >>

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I am finding this attraction already with our 4.8yr old son. Started letting him go to PBS Kids and Disney Channel online games....and we have a Leap Frog Click Start Computer for him (which he enjoys less than the online games). I really have to limit his time with this also. If he plays too often or for too long I notice he seems to 'lose' some skills he had started to aqcuire. Less eye contact, less original thought, more echolalia. But, I see how much he enjoys it also, so I let him have time a few times a week. I see where all 3 of your points of attractions apply to him.

~ P.

From: Bill <nasonbill@...>Subject: Re: (unknown)Autism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Wednesday, September 1, 2010, 3:20 AM

Gaming is such an attraction for these children for three main reasons. One, it is one thing that helps them feel really "competent." In a world that is filled with so many things they don't feel competent doing, it is very attractive. Two, it doesn't involve face to face regulating. Three, it is very stimulating to the executive functioning part of the brain.> > > >> > > >> Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My> > > >> son is 15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him> > > >> and what he is going thru everyday. He has "normal friends", but > > they>

> > >> just are not close, more like aquaintances who tolerate him, they > > are> > > >> nice boys, but he has no "real" friends. Thanks> > > >>> > > >> > >> >> >> >>

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My son is 7 years old and is into pokemon and Avatar cartoons. He loves the gameboy and throw a fit when it is missing or one of his brothers have it. This is a everyday things.

Have anyone tried the Feingold diet?

god bless

Michele

From: marilyn <onebusytwinmom@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 11:44:03 PMSubject: Re: Re: (unknown)

a really excellent computer monitoring software is webwatcherdata.com. Not the cheapest out there, but very very effective and pretty much hack-proof by teenagers. You can approve all, nothing, or in-between, and also monitor texts, emails, and now they even have a cell phone version. I've used it for 7 years and can HIGHLY recommend it.My 9 year old is totally into Pokemon-- he can probably name all 400 of them. He loves Japanese Dragons too. This summer it's all things Wizards & Hogwarts.

Marilyn

From: Candy Crouch <dclecrouch@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 10:27:57 PMSubject: Re: Re: (unknown)

My son longs for someone to be a real friend to him. He had it once, but the boy moved away several years ago and we lost contact with him, they were exactly the same and were inseprable. He misses him terribly and I had tried to contact his family but I think they may moved again, they had moved about an hour away. They kept in contact for a couple of years, but they seem to disappeared now. He still stays that he is the only true friend he ever had, and its sad, he just wont let it go and move on. He seems happy most of the time, but I don't like for him to be online alot, I monitor it closely because in the past I have found him on some questionable sites and he looks for gaming cheat codes alot and we got a virus one time that wiped out our computer. I would actually prefer for him to have real life friends, and he would too, if he could only find someone he could realte to. He is very talented at drawing, and likes yugioh and

dragons, and pokemon, but we have tried to discourage the pokemon, he gets too obsessed with it.

From: Bill <nasonbill@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 6:51:11 PMSubject: Re: (unknown)

The question for me is "Is your son happy?" Does he enjoy spending time in the library and computer lab? Is he satisfied with the social contact he has after school and online? Some children on the spectrum are perfectly happy with this level of interaction. They love their intellectual pursuits, and tend to avoid emotional relating. They enjoy interacting around their common interests or intellectual pursuits, and feel more comfortable relating online where they do not have to regulate the nonverbal pragmatics of face to face relating. In other words they often feel more comfortable with intellectual interaction, rather then emotional interaction. That's ok. As long as they learn to live and work along side of others, they will do just fine.Bill> >> >> Does anyone in this group live in Visalia Ca or somewhere nearby. My > >> son is 15 and wants desperately to find someone who understands him > >> and what he is going thru everyday. He has "normal friends", but they > >> just are not close, more like aquaintances who tolerate him, they are > >> nice boys, but he

has no "real" friends. Thanks> >>> >>

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Hey Vickie,

Lots of people feel just like you. This is really a normal feeling. Take a deep breath and bring along something to read and keep your mind on what you are reading. If you are having problems let the Air Lines know that this is your first time and that you have some concerns. They will help you every step of the way. It is normal to have all these kinds of feels and fears. Hang in there girl, this is your answer to a WHOLE new life and you can do anything (like a plane ride) for a short time.

Hugs,

Suzanne

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o2 art(100mmhg) vein (40)co2 art(40) vein(46)From: schibin thampy <kuriachan4u@...> Cc: DENTAL <dentaljournalclub >; Farid

<nancyfarid@...>Sent: Fri, September 3, 2010 9:02:16 AMSubject: (unknown)

dear allwill anyone be kind enough to let me know the partial pre of oxygen ,co2 in arteries veins and venules

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thanks khallelFrom: khaleel ahamed <ka_almanar@...> Sent: Fri, 3 September, 2010 1:43:55 PMSubject: Re: (unknown)

o2 art(100mmhg) vein (40)co2 art(40) vein(46)From: schibin thampy <kuriachan4u@...> Cc: DENTAL <dentaljournalclub >; Farid

<nancyfarid@...>Sent: Fri, September 3, 2010 9:02:16 AMSubject: (unknown)

dear allwill anyone be kind enough to let me know the partial pre of oxygen ,co2 in arteries veins and venules

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Welcome to adolescence, Beth. This doesn't sound like a DS thing, but a

teenage-rebellion thing. You'll survive and be rewarded with grandchildren

because you did not kill your teenagers.

granny, been there, done that, got the T-shirt

On Fri, Sep 3, 2010 at 7:53 AM, Beth Jackman <bethjack73@...> wrote:

>

>

> Hey all...long time no see. I'm Beth, mom to Austin, 13/ds and Dakota, 13,

> nonds. My, has the list grown. At one time, before life got hectic, I was

> actively involved. I hope to be again. Not that life has settled down

> much,

> just changed. But last night, Austin had a major melt down, like never

> seen

> before, and I need some help. Please.

>

> I said big changes, and I meant that. The boys and I now live in the

> Florida

> Keys. Their father lives 5 hours away by car. I had major leg surgery in

> June,

> so the boys went to Indiana for a month, then spent 3 weeks with their dad

> while

> I recovered. To further add stress to Austin, I am a relationship with a

> great

> man, who is active with both boys, engages them in all we do, and we all

> live

> together. Its not perfect, but in all, it's going pretty well. New school

> too.

> So many changes for Austin, and I think he's having a really hard time with

> it

> all. His father hasn't called in two weeks.

>

> So, we were eating dinner. Austin started holding his fork like a shovel,

> getting food everywhere, putting feet on table, yeah, gotta love that

> flexibility...doing everything wrong that he can think of. Yes, i'm sure it

> was

> intentional. So, when Nick and I both told him to eat right, he got

> defiant.

> Ended up yelling, running to his room, trying to lock me out, and in this,

> he

> was mean. Down right mean. Never seen him like this. He made mention of his

> dad,

> and I think that's the major problem, but he would rant for a sec, then

> talk

> about aliens and his spiderman web, call 911 so he can get his web...etc.

> If it

> wasn't so frustrating and heartbreaking, I probably would have

> laughed...but

> it's not really funny.

>

> It's been building, starting with when asked to take out trash or help

> clean the

> pool he would say awe man, etc...steady backmouthing getting worse, now

> this

> melt down. Any insight would be welcomed. How do I connect with him? This

> morning he woke up aware of his actions, felt bad, apologized. And we know

> punishment like taking away video games for a week doesn't work, but how do

> I

> get him to understand that acting that way isn't appropriate? Oh, guys,

> help...

>

>

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Beth,

((((hugs))) I await responses with baited breath. is just starting

some of this behavior too. He is 13 1/2 years old. He's been less patient

and more moody for a while, but now there is door slamming, some yelling,

and this is so not like him.

Anxious to hear what others have to say.

Kym...mom to five including (13 w/ DS)

(unknown)

Hey all...long time no see. I'm Beth, mom to Austin, 13/ds and Dakota, 13,

nonds. My, has the list grown. At one time, before life got hectic, I was

actively involved. I hope to be again. Not that life has settled down much,

just changed. But last night, Austin had a major melt down, like never seen

before, and I need some help. Please.

I said big changes, and I meant that. The boys and I now live in the Florida

Keys. Their father lives 5 hours away by car. I had major leg surgery in

June,

so the boys went to Indiana for a month, then spent 3 weeks with their dad

while

I recovered. To further add stress to Austin, I am a relationship with a

great

man, who is active with both boys, engages them in all we do, and we all

live

together. Its not perfect, but in all, it's going pretty well. New school

too.

So many changes for Austin, and I think he's having a really hard time with

it

all. His father hasn't called in two weeks.

So, we were eating dinner. Austin started holding his fork like a shovel,

getting food everywhere, putting feet on table, yeah, gotta love that

flexibility...doing everything wrong that he can think of. Yes, i'm sure it

was

intentional. So, when Nick and I both told him to eat right, he got defiant.

Ended up yelling, running to his room, trying to lock me out, and in this,

he

was mean. Down right mean. Never seen him like this. He made mention of his

dad,

and I think that's the major problem, but he would rant for a sec, then talk

about aliens and his spiderman web, call 911 so he can get his web...etc. If

it

wasn't so frustrating and heartbreaking, I probably would have laughed...but

it's not really funny.

It's been building, starting with when asked to take out trash or help clean

the

pool he would say awe man, etc...steady backmouthing getting worse, now this

melt down. Any insight would be welcomed. How do I connect with him? This

morning he woke up aware of his actions, felt bad, apologized. And we know

punishment like taking away video games for a week doesn't work, but how do

I

get him to understand that acting that way isn't appropriate? Oh, guys,

help...

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I'm sorry, it is adolescence. Every one one of my boys have had melts down

like this.It seemed to have totally taken even them by surprise! I have not

had to deal with a boy who also has DS with these meltdowns, but I would

guess you treat him the same as you would any other kid- explain their body

is going through rapid changes and that it affects their emotions and they

need to learn to control them. This kind of behavior will not be tolerated

and will be punished. I think for the child with DS, a lot more time spent

on coping skills and teaching appropriate alternatives or maybe even

starting out by helping him see when he is beginning to melt down and ways

to stop it.

Maybe redirect him to some very physical type activity he likes... shooting

hoops, trampoline, bike, running, punching bag.. what ever he like to blow

off some steam.

Good news is, these *crazy* out bursts didn't seem to last a real long

time!!

Carol in IL

Mom to , 9 DS

My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me.

facebook- doihavtasay@...

Listen to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic

On Fri, Sep 3, 2010 at 8:57 AM, kym mac <mymacfamily@...> wrote:

>

>

> Beth,

>

> ((((hugs))) I await responses with baited breath. is just starting

> some of this behavior too. He is 13 1/2 years old. He's been less patient

> and more moody for a while, but now there is door slamming, some yelling,

> and this is so not like him.

>

> Anxious to hear what others have to say.

>

> Kym...mom to five including (13 w/ DS)

>

>

> (unknown)

>

> Hey all...long time no see. I'm Beth, mom to Austin, 13/ds and Dakota, 13,

> nonds. My, has the list grown. At one time, before life got hectic, I was

> actively involved. I hope to be again. Not that life has settled down much,

> just changed. But last night, Austin had a major melt down, like never seen

> before, and I need some help. Please.

>

> I said big changes, and I meant that. The boys and I now live in the

> Florida

> Keys. Their father lives 5 hours away by car. I had major leg surgery in

> June,

> so the boys went to Indiana for a month, then spent 3 weeks with their dad

> while

> I recovered. To further add stress to Austin, I am a relationship with a

> great

> man, who is active with both boys, engages them in all we do, and we all

> live

> together. Its not perfect, but in all, it's going pretty well. New school

> too.

> So many changes for Austin, and I think he's having a really hard time with

>

> it

> all. His father hasn't called in two weeks.

>

> So, we were eating dinner. Austin started holding his fork like a shovel,

> getting food everywhere, putting feet on table, yeah, gotta love that

> flexibility...doing everything wrong that he can think of. Yes, i'm sure it

>

> was

> intentional. So, when Nick and I both told him to eat right, he got

> defiant.

> Ended up yelling, running to his room, trying to lock me out, and in this,

> he

> was mean. Down right mean. Never seen him like this. He made mention of his

>

> dad,

> and I think that's the major problem, but he would rant for a sec, then

> talk

> about aliens and his spiderman web, call 911 so he can get his web...etc.

> If

> it

> wasn't so frustrating and heartbreaking, I probably would have

> laughed...but

> it's not really funny.

>

> It's been building, starting with when asked to take out trash or help

> clean

> the

> pool he would say awe man, etc...steady backmouthing getting worse, now

> this

> melt down. Any insight would be welcomed. How do I connect with him? This

> morning he woke up aware of his actions, felt bad, apologized. And we know

> punishment like taking away video games for a week doesn't work, but how do

>

> I

> get him to understand that acting that way isn't appropriate? Oh, guys,

> help...

>

>

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Hi Beth,

I am sure he is frustrated and so is mom. I am sorry for you both. That being

said, I would watch what he is watching on tv. Most of the " teen " shows have

kids stomping off in anger. My guy picked this lovely habit up quickly. They may

be delayed in many areas but teenage 'attitude' isn't one of them.

Keep communicating on all the changes - the unknown is scarey. The more he can

expect the moree prepared he will be.

Good Luck!

Dawn

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

(unknown)

Hey all...long time no see. I'm Beth, mom to Austin, 13/ds and Dakota, 13,

nonds. My, has the list grown. At one time, before life got hectic, I was

actively involved. I  hope to be again. Not that life has settled down much,

just changed.  But last night, Austin had a major melt down, like never seen

before, and I need some help. Please.

I said big changes, and I meant that. The boys and I now live in the Florida

Keys. Their father lives 5 hours away by car. I had major leg surgery in June,

so the boys went to Indiana for a month, then spent 3 weeks with their dad while

I recovered. To further add stress to Austin, I am a relationship with a great

man, who is active with both boys, engages them in all we do, and we all live

together. Its not perfect, but in all, it's going pretty well. New school too.

So many changes for Austin, and I think he's having a really hard time with it

all. His father hasn't called in two weeks.

So, we were eating dinner. Austin started holding his fork like a shovel,

getting food everywhere, putting feet on table, yeah, gotta love that

flexibility...doing everything wrong that he can think of. Yes, i'm sure it was

intentional. So, when Nick and I both told him to eat right, he got defiant.

Ended up yelling, running to his room, trying to lock me out, and in this, he

was mean. Down right mean. Never seen him like this. He made mention of his dad,

and I think that's the major problem, but he would rant for a sec, then talk

about aliens and his spiderman web, call 911 so he can get his web...etc. If it

wasn't so frustrating and heartbreaking, I probably would have laughed...but

it's not really funny.

It's been building, starting with when asked to take out trash or help clean the

pool he would say awe man, etc...steady backmouthing getting worse, now this

melt down. Any insight would be welcomed. How do I connect with him? This

morning he woke up aware of his actions, felt bad, apologized. And we know

punishment like taking away video games for a week doesn't work, but how do I

get him to understand that acting that way isn't appropriate? Oh, guys, help...

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