[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/3/01 8:16:50 AM Central Standard Time,

neilgerl@... writes:

<<

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves assigned

to

the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. After the initial

embarrassment and uneasiness, they both go to sleep, the man in the

upper berth, and the woman in the lower berth.

In the middle of the night the man leans over, wakes the woman and

says,

" I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if

you

could possibly reach over and get me another blanket? "

The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye says, " I have a

better

idea. Just for tonight let's pretend that we are married. "

The man happily says, " OK. Brilliant! "

The woman says " Good ... get your own blanket. "

>>

[Guest guest]

thanks jeannette, it was just a horrible time with many bad memories.he left

on his own terms. i worked at a hospital back then, thats where they brought

him. he sat in the side of the road waiting for the train to come. they said

they saw him. he waited until the train couldn't stop and pulled out on to

the tracks. put his hands over his head. they found his id in the car. i had

to go identify him. not just your normal day of work. thats for sure. sorry,

hope i didn't offend anyone. in some ways i was really lucky. since it was a

suicide the insurance companies wouldn't pay for anything. i had to pay for a

car i drove 3x's a funeral, plot casket creamation burial. plus metra sued me

for damages on the train. i was fortunate no one on the train was injured.

well except the engineer. he was a student driver. he has had emotional

problems. i can only imagine. they told me flight for life was on it's way

but they had it turn around. that would have been another 10,000!! the

ambulance ride they considered over reasonable and customary charges. how was

he supposed to get there?? sorry, guess i needed to let it out. i eventually

had to leave the hospital. only lasted about 6 mos there. part of my job

consisted of going to the e/r and getting the reports from the day before,

everytime i went in there it was flashback city. i saw his feet in the

doorway. i liked my job and the people there. been there about 6 yrs. just

couldn't do it to myself day after day. now i do it once a year i guess. hard

too the following day we were with his mom getting her hair done for the

funeral in palatine il in the same shopping center as the browns chicken, we

almost went for dinner but we were late for the florist. that day 7 people

were murdered in that resturaunt. they have never resolved it. so every year

it is on the news and i think to myself. i was there that day. it is just so

wierd. anyway enough sloppy sorrow from me. it was 8 yrs ago now. sometimes

it seems like yesterday. sorry about getting off topic thanks for listening.

kathy

[Guest guest]

Kathy:

What a horrible horrible thing to go through. In a case like that, I do not

think it is fair that the spouse has to pay for everything. After all, you

were not the one who did it. He did leave you with some horrific memories.

He must have been very sick. Depression is an illness in and of itself. The

depressed person often does not even recognize their own depression and does

things they have no control over such as suicide. I am so sorry you had to

go through that. I can understand that every year you relive such an awful

event. My thoughts and prayers are with you Kathy.

Lovingly, Jeannette

[Guest guest]

Thank you Tery,

My email was down yesterday after my Doctor's visit. But I did get

meds-antibiotics and cough meds. Do have bronchitis and was feeling much

better yesterday but not today so it's do nothing again!

Temple

Kuddle Kritters Farm

3 Fox Haven Way

Chelmsford, MA 01824

dat2352@...

http://www.homestead.com/kuddlekrittersfarm/index.html

http://www/homestead.com/kuddlekraft/index.html

[Guest guest]

our ears are big and shoulders broad with prayers for

you too.

rhoda

--- kringlemom@... wrote:

> thanks jeannette, it was just a horrible time with

> many bad memories.he left

> on his own terms. i worked at a hospital back then,

> thats where they brought

> him. he sat in the side of the road waiting for the

> train to come. they said

> they saw him. he waited until the train couldn't

> stop and pulled out on to

> the tracks. put his hands over his head. they found

> his id in the car. i had

> to go identify him. not just your normal day of

> work. thats for sure. sorry,

> hope i didn't offend anyone. in some ways i was

> really lucky. since it was a

> suicide the insurance companies wouldn't pay for

> anything. i had to pay for a

> car i drove 3x's a funeral, plot casket creamation

> burial. plus metra sued me

> for damages on the train. i was fortunate no one on

> the train was injured.

> well except the engineer. he was a student driver.

> he has had emotional

> problems. i can only imagine. they told me flight

> for life was on it's way

> but they had it turn around. that would have been

> another 10,000!! the

> ambulance ride they considered over reasonable and

> customary charges. how was

> he supposed to get there?? sorry, guess i needed to

> let it out. i eventually

> had to leave the hospital. only lasted about 6 mos

> there. part of my job

> consisted of going to the e/r and getting the

> reports from the day before,

> everytime i went in there it was flashback city. i

> saw his feet in the

> doorway. i liked my job and the people there. been

> there about 6 yrs. just

> couldn't do it to myself day after day. now i do it

> once a year i guess. hard

> too the following day we were with his mom getting

> her hair done for the

> funeral in palatine il in the same shopping center

> as the browns chicken, we

> almost went for dinner but we were late for the

> florist. that day 7 people

> were murdered in that resturaunt. they have never

> resolved it. so every year

> it is on the news and i think to myself. i was there

> that day. it is just so

> wierd. anyway enough sloppy sorrow from me. it was 8

> yrs ago now. sometimes

> it seems like yesterday. sorry about getting off

> topic thanks for listening.

>

> kathy

>

> Our websites:

> http://rheumatoid.arthritis.freehosting.net/

> http://www.rasupport.webprovider.com/

> Change subscription options:

>

>

_______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

thanks paula, yes it was terrible. first they told me they'd pay for

everything, funeral , car, but after the inquest. they all reversed their

decision. car insurance doesn't cover reckless acts or things with intent

either. never admit to finding a letter. that's for sure. they took that too.

i did get it back but still. i hope no one has to go through with anything

like that. i think i am having a hard time with it because i am not working

now, plus my son who is now 17 is being more vocal about it which is good. he

never wanted to talk about it when he was younger. i took him to counseling

for over a year. they told me he'd go through it in his own time. he fell

apart a couple years ago and had to be admitted, on suicide watch for about a

week. he thought it was his fault the whole time. poor guy. but i think thats

why i am going thru it all again. because the counselors would all ask, why

are you here? you seem relieved. i was because it was over and he was at

peace. i know he was unhappy, he had tried several times before. it was all

from his childhood, he just couldn't let it go. he wasn't really with it the

last year. stayed in the bedroom, drank lots o coffee. he was going to

counseling, or so i thought until the inquest. i then found out he had been

cancelling appts. and was supposed to be taking prozac which i did not know.

[Guest guest]

a:

I did not realize you had lost a husband to cancer. That is very sad. I am

glad that you did find someone else to make your life fulfilled though. It

must have been a terribly hard thing to go through.

Kathy:

I hope you are feeling a little better today. My prayers are with you.

Jeannette

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

This is a horrible nightmare for you. It's bad enough to loose your husband

this way, but the financial devastation doesn't seem right. I am appalled

that you were made liable for your husband's actions. I know life insurance

policies don't pay on suicide during the first 2 years, but I didn't realize

other insurances didn't have to pay. I can understand why you left that

job. I hope you are able to look to the future and not dwell on the pain

of the past. It's the only way I survive.

I lost my husband to cancer very suddenly and when I dwell on it, I get very

depressed. Although I am happily remarried, the pain of the past and my

love for my late husband will always be with me.

a

----- Original Message -----

From: <kringlemom@...>

< egroups>

Sent: Friday, January 05, 2001 9:26 AM

Subject: Re: [ ]

> thanks jeannette, it was just a horrible time with many bad memories.he

left

> on his own terms. i worked at a hospital back then, thats where they

brought

> him. he sat in the side of the road waiting for the train to come. they

said

> they saw him. he waited until the train couldn't stop and pulled out on to

> the tracks. put his hands over his head. they found his id in the car. i

had

> to go identify him. not just your normal day of work. thats for sure.

sorry,

> hope i didn't offend anyone. in some ways i was really lucky. since it was

a

> suicide the insurance companies wouldn't pay for anything. i had to pay

for a

> car i drove 3x's a funeral, plot casket creamation burial. plus metra sued

me

> for damages on the train. i was fortunate no one on the train was injured.

> well except the engineer. he was a student driver. he has had emotional

> problems. i can only imagine. they told me flight for life was on it's way

> but they had it turn around. that would have been another 10,000!! the

> ambulance ride they considered over reasonable and customary charges. how

was

> he supposed to get there?? sorry, guess i needed to let it out. i

eventually

> had to leave the hospital. only lasted about 6 mos there. part of my job

> consisted of going to the e/r and getting the reports from the day before,

> everytime i went in there it was flashback city. i saw his feet in the

> doorway. i liked my job and the people there. been there about 6 yrs. just

> couldn't do it to myself day after day. now i do it once a year i guess.

hard

> too the following day we were with his mom getting her hair done for the

> funeral in palatine il in the same shopping center as the browns chicken,

we

> almost went for dinner but we were late for the florist. that day 7 people

> were murdered in that resturaunt. they have never resolved it. so every

year

> it is on the news and i think to myself. i was there that day. it is just

so

> wierd. anyway enough sloppy sorrow from me. it was 8 yrs ago now.

sometimes

> it seems like yesterday. sorry about getting off topic thanks for

listening.

> kathy

>

> Our websites: http://rheumatoid.arthritis.freehosting.net/

> http://www.rasupport.webprovider.com/

> Change subscription options:

>

[Guest guest]

Kathy-

I haven't responded to your posts regarding your

husband's suicide - not because I don't care but because

words seem so inadequate! I am a lawyer and yet I hate

this " I have to blame someone...so I'll be callous and

sue anyone regardless of their pain " attitude. Sometimes

there is not anyone to really blame...and life is quite

quixotic. Accountability is appropriate - where there is

something to be held accountable for and someone who can

be held directly liable ( A slum landlord who

intentionally rents condemned buildings to people who

can afford nothing more; Drug manufacturers who produce

and sell a drug knowing it to be unduly dangerous or in

reckless disregard of that- for example.) Your husband's

death was a suicide - it was not intentional in the true

sense of the word. Neither you or anyone else can be

accountable for it - not even your husband - it sounds

as if he was unable to rationally work through his pain

and depression. The young engineer's experience of it

was tragic as was yours- but to lay blame makes no

sense- legally or otherwise. If anything that is why his

employer had insurance for any type of disability

arising out of his employment -it was an accident in the

very broad sense.

When I was in private practice one of the wives of one

of my colleagues was bitten by a bee and had a very

severe allergic reaction and a bad infection- had

treatment been delayed she could have easily died. It

occurred while she was cleaning church. Another of the

attorneys in my office- something of a ghoul regarding

personal injury matters heard about it and was trying to

figure an angle on it. Joan's reaction delighted me :

She told him " Tim - I'm sorry - the bee wasn't insured! "

She had no intention of suing the premises liability

carrier of the church- the bee sting was a random

senseless bleep in the scheme of things.

I am not trying to make light of your situation or

suggest that it is in anyway comparable - but there are

so many people who try to lay blame or accept guilt for

something that is not theirs - or anyone elses. None of

us can blame anyone for our illnesses (RA, Lupus, etc.)

directly.

Kathy - you are in my prayers in a very special way. I

can barely imagine the pain you have been through and

are still working through. Understand as has already

been said ... people here care and are willing to listen.

Love,

[Guest guest]

thanks, i am feeling better today.

[Guest guest]

ok anybody ever heard of inflammatory spondyloarthropathy, this is what she

called it when she got me on enbrel. the letter says a bone scan demonstrated

significant inflammatory arthritis in th shoulders, wrists, ankles knees,

feet and sacroiiliac joints. any info is appreciated, thanks kathy. ps, i

went to the dr today for my cold, he said he can't really tell, thinks i've

just got another virus. what i went 3 days without!!! my nose is so sore.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/9/01 10:13:57 AM Central Standard Time,

gmetoxen@... writes:

<< Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama:

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great=20

risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, respect for others responsibility=

=20

for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderfulstroke o=

f=20

luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to

correct=20

it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back,=20

you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current

situation.=20=

=20

Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for=20

eachother exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

>>

[Guest guest]

that's how i feel right now about my enbrel. i started back with my tossing

and turning and my back hurts almost all the time and my ankles too. but i

have to get rid of this cold!~

Kathy

[Guest guest]

I have to put in my 2 cents worth too. I am deathly afraid of the dentist

cause as a child i had a dentist that love to torture people but as i lived

in a small town in Vermont i didn't have alot of choice. Anyway, after my 4th

child my teeth started to really break down and decay(also family history of

week teeth) back in 97 i had a tooth absess and the infection happend over

night. i ended up in the ER from the pain but also cause my boyfriend noticed

that i had a eerie green shade to my skin on that side of my face. The ER dr

said the infection was spreading through out my face and had to have iv

anitbotics for 3 days straight and the ER dr called my dentist herself

telling him that if he didn't fit me in the next day she didn't know if i

would make it cause the infection even with the antibotics was spreading

upward to my brain. Iam lucky that it didn't.

So please no matter how much you don't want to go please go. It is to

dangerous not to.

good luck,

shelly

[Guest guest]

Dear :

Thank you for your good words of advice. You are right and I will go to the

dentist. I know I shouldn't play around with this problem.

Thanks

[Guest guest]

,

iam so glad you will go. good luck and i will be thinking about you.

shelly

[Guest guest]

a,

I didn't give jesse his injection over the weekend cause of the bug and this

morning is the first that he has taken his meds since Thursday night. He

spent most of the weekend in bed and didn't get to spend much time with his

dad. Maybe next time will be better.

We will be going to the hospital shortly for 's chest xray and labs. CT

won't do the scan without a base line chest xray and the lab has a standing

order for labs on jesse and they lost it. They now have all kinds of new

procedures now. From what i understand it has something to do with a 17yr old

boy getting into a car wreck and going to the ER and the ER dr sent him home

and to take tylenol for discomfort. The boy died later that night from

internal bleeding. Mother is filing a law suit i believe. Anyway since that

happend, the whole hospital has been turned up side down. Then i got really

upset Thursday after we got back from Pensacola. We stopped at the hospital

to do jesse's labs and the supervisor of registration told the girl helping

us that he was medicaid and he was not prioity, she didn't have time to deal

with finding out where the lab order was.From what i understand the boy that

died didn't have insurance so he got sent home. Makes ya wonder doesn't it?

Sure does me.

sorry for being a downer. thanks for listening and worry about jesse.

shelly

[Guest guest]

,

Egroups strips any designs. It only sends plain text. If you have a URL

to the website it was on, you can post it so we can see it.

a

----- Original Message -----

From: linda <linda@...>

<Undisclosed-Recipient:;>

Sent: Sunday, January 21, 2001 8:02 PM

Subject: [ ]

> When I sent the previous email, I had some neat backgrounds that I thought

would be included. If I can figure out how to do it, I will resend it.

>

> P

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

You actually HEARD the supervisor of registration say this? She needs a

job change. That is a cold and insensitive remark to make. I hope when

they turn that hospital upside down, she gets the boot! should have

had priority treatment because he is a seriously ill child, regardless of

his insurance status. I am sorry you and were treated that way. No

downer apologies needed . I'd be down too. It's bad enough that

they lost standing orders, but then to add insult to injury?

I wouldn't be able to keep my big mouth shut. I'd be on the phone to the

hospital administration just to let them know what kind of employee they

had. Of the countless times I've been hospitalized, only once did I have

to report someone. The majority of hospital staff is kind, so please don't

feel everyone is like her. It makes me wonder if she had anything to do

with the boy that died. Maybe HE wasn't a priority either.

I hope his testing went well and he feels better soon.

hugs,

a

----- Original Message -----

From: <12341234@...>

< egroups>

Sent: Monday, January 22, 2001 8:05 AM

Subject: Re: [ ]

> a,

>

> I didn't give jesse his injection over the weekend cause of the bug and

this

> morning is the first that he has taken his meds since Thursday night. He

> spent most of the weekend in bed and didn't get to spend much time with

his

> dad. Maybe next time will be better.

>

> We will be going to the hospital shortly for 's chest xray and labs.

CT

> won't do the scan without a base line chest xray and the lab has a

standing

> order for labs on jesse and they lost it. They now have all kinds of new

> procedures now. From what i understand it has something to do with a 17yr

old

> boy getting into a car wreck and going to the ER and the ER dr sent him

home

> and to take tylenol for discomfort. The boy died later that night from

> internal bleeding. Mother is filing a law suit i believe. Anyway since

that

> happend, the whole hospital has been turned up side down. Then i got

really

> upset Thursday after we got back from Pensacola. We stopped at the

hospital

> to do jesse's labs and the supervisor of registration told the girl

helping

> us that he was medicaid and he was not prioity, she didn't have time to

deal

> with finding out where the lab order was.From what i understand the boy

that

> died didn't have insurance so he got sent home. Makes ya wonder doesn't

it?

> Sure does me.

>

> sorry for being a downer. thanks for listening and worry about jesse.

> shelly

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Shirley,

I too am on remicade, but to be honest I really didn't see any improvement

until I added in methotrexate. . I was prepared to have cortisone

injections in my knees, but insisted on holding off for a few weeks. I

wanted to let the MTX start working with the remicade, and boy did it. I

started remicade at the end of Sept and added in the MTX at the end of Nov.

I am on 3cc of MTX, and have had 5 remicade infusions. I still have some

flaring when I over do it, but my knees are much, much better. Infact this

is my first winter since '97 that I haven't taken prednisone. last winter I

was on 20mg of pred a day. Also, I had to stop the MTX for four weeks

because I was having really bad allergies and my Allergist didn't want to

tweak my immune system too much. The benadryl, atarax, allegra, didn't seem

to help. I have been having more problems with my hands and knees again, so

I know that my " cocktail " is remicade WITH MTX.

Ok I hope this helps, my nurses think that I should be a spokesperson for

remicade. They say they didn't recognize me when I dropped in on one of my

good days, (Personally I think I go from " bow to wow " by just applying my

Kay) so some of it may be because on infusion days I go with my long

hair up, in sweats, and with no makeup on. I figure, why bother, I'm knocked

out from the benadryl within an hour of getting there anyway, so who cares

what I look like, I just want to be comfortable!

I hope this helps some in your decision making.

Barb in CA

-----Original Message-----

From: Edmis3@... <Edmis3@...>

egroups < egroups>

Date: Wednesday, January 24, 2001 6:44 PM

Subject: Re: [ ]

>Thanks for a couple of responses regarding the remmicade, please if anyone

>else is on this drug please send me a note as I have to make up my mind by

>Friday if I want to go on this drug or not. How soon did you notice if it

>was going to help or not, does it take more than one infusion, or did you

>notice it helped after the first time. I didn't know they lasted for

three

>hours until I just received a response. Please let me know. Shirley

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

shirley, so sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. i know it can be

overwhelming. my son has some pinched nerves and i have been taking him to

the chiropractor every day this week. he is also in alot of pain, can hardly

move, or sleep. just can't get comfortable. now he says mom now i know how

you feel. when i saw his x-ray, he was right. i think he does know

unfortunatly. he has not been at school all week. just started a job 3 days

ago that he can't do right now. i had my social security interview today. now

i have to wait.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

Thanks for a couple of responses regarding the remmicade, please if anyone

else is on this drug please send me a note as I have to make up my mind by

Friday if I want to go on this drug or not. How soon did you notice if it

was going to help or not, does it take more than one infusion, or did you

notice it helped after the first time. I didn't know they lasted for three

hours until I just received a response. Please let me know. Shirley

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

From: a

Sent: Thursday, January 25, 2001 12:22 AM

[Guest guest]

,

You're not alone, it fits me too. This is a good message, thanks.

a

----- Original Message -----

From: linda <linda@...>

<Undisclosed-Recipient:;>

Sent: Saturday, January 27, 2001 8:31 PM

Subject: [ ]

>

> I just got this in my email today. Man, does it ever fit me. It really

makes me think - am I really doing the best for my own kids and how about

the students I work with at school. How often do I use " but " ? Much too

often, I'm sure. Have a great weekend!

>

> P

>

>

[Guest guest]

....thanks for telling me 's incredible story! It is both sad and

wonderful at the same time...he will grow up with compassion for others

beyond his years...

I hope that someday soon he will be able to do all the things he wants to!

Kathy in Washington State