My heart gose out to you all

[Guest guest]

Hi Larry, Things just have to get better for us all. Sometimes I say things

that I don't really mean from the bottom of my heart, but at the time I may

think I feel that way. I have 4 children, of course I am glad to be here and

want

to be around for a long long time/ At least long enough to see my children

have children so I can spoil them and send them home to their mommy and daddy.

So I can see how they becomewhen they are really grown instead of thinking they

are.Ha Ha Ha. There is so much to look forward to in life. I know there are

many times I wish it would all end, but the truth is just the pain,I hope I

didn't make up upset, sometimes the pain makes me say things without thinking

how

others will take it, or bring them down too. I know this is really hard to

deal with, and it really sucks that we have to deal with it I just keep telling

myself that everything happens for a reason, maybe I am going through this so

my children won't, or maybe so they will keep on trying to find away to help

others. After all we all find something here or there that makes us feel

alittle better from time to time, a hot bath a pill, a good rub in the right

spots,

a new baby being born, or something specail that we might not of seen if we

didn't feel like this. Don't give up on hope, tell your wife to give you a hug

for me and you give her one back. Well I'll let you go now, and I'll keep you

and everyone out there in my prays

Thank you Vicki

[Guest guest]

This is so sad, that we all have to go through so much, to get some

relief. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. We don't know

if it will and when it does,if any, then we have to wonder how long

it will last, and if it feels better, are we really hurting ourselves

more, just because they gave us something to help the pain not hurt

so much. I had my first epidural shot on Dec.31st, and I had been

praying so hard to let it help me. I have heard so many others say it

only did for a few months, and some say it didn't at all. Well I

really felt so luckly after I had mine, I thought boy I was worried

over nothing. Well the good part was for two days I felt pretty damn

good, not all the pain was gone, but way more then half of it was.

The dr. said it could take up to 5 days, each day it will feel

better. I was really looking forward to that.

Well the 3rd day it started hurting more, I still thought it was

still going to get better. Well it has been hurting me so much more I

think, I just don't know what to expect anymore.

I have been try to get disability sence Feb. of last year, they have

turned me down twice, how can they go by what our dr. says, mine told

me I can go back to work, I can't even get around to taking showers,

shopping, taking care of my childern and one is only 6 1/2 months

old.If I could do ant kind of work and get paid for it don't they

think I would, before lossing everything that I've worked sooooo hard

for. Now they want to ask others how I feel, and what can I do? Just

ask me, my children, my friends and family. Just come live in my

house for a week and see how much I can and can't do. Give me test

and hook me up to monitors to see what it takes out of me, there are

other ways to do this then to put us through all this bull. They make

this go on and on as long as they can. Sometimes I just don't feel I

can go on anymore. I have tried going back to work, I have tried

babysetting, the pain just isn't worth it. I don't feel I have a life

any more, I am only here to feel the pain and hear and watch my life

go by me, and I can't get into it. I am sorry if I am not making much

sence, I get like this a lot anymore.

thanks for your time Vicki

[Guest guest]

Vicki

Hang in there, I think most of us go through times of despair just like you do.

I recently attended a chronic pain group and I was surprised that so many people

out there are suffering so much. Just try to do what you can and there is

always hope for better care and less suffering tomorrow. Right now try to take

it a day at a time.

meg

[Guest guest]

vicki hi its Larry i have been trying since last feb. my dr says he wants an

MRI and i can't afford due to not working so disa. is out the window so in

short were living on my wife's income and needless to say its only 400.00 a

month but she manages apartments so it helps some. vicki i know what you

feel. i sometimes wonder why we even bother gettin out of bed and some of us

its a struggle just to do that. i too wish some times i hadn't even been

born . if i knew i would be left like this for the rest of my life i just

assume not be here. pain every day . the only thing that changes is the date

on my calender. so yeah im right there with ya girl and i know we are not

alone. its just not right and not fair especially when some one else put you

in this situation i hate it. well nothing else really to add but i hate

this. i want my life back and its gone forever....Larry

My heart gose out to you all

> This is so sad, that we all have to go through so much, to get some

> relief. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. We don't know

> if it will and when it does,if any, then we have to wonder how long

> it will last, and if it feels better, are we really hurting ourselves

> more, just because they gave us something to help the pain not hurt

> so much. I had my first epidural shot on Dec.31st, and I had been

> praying so hard to let it help me. I have heard so many others say it

> only did for a few months, and some say it didn't at all. Well I

> really felt so luckly after I had mine, I thought boy I was worried

> over nothing. Well the good part was for two days I felt pretty damn

> good, not all the pain was gone, but way more then half of it was.

> The dr. said it could take up to 5 days, each day it will feel

> better. I was really looking forward to that.

> Well the 3rd day it started hurting more, I still thought it was

> still going to get better. Well it has been hurting me so much more I

> think, I just don't know what to expect anymore.

> I have been try to get disability sence Feb. of last year, they have

> turned me down twice, how can they go by what our dr. says, mine told

> me I can go back to work, I can't even get around to taking showers,

> shopping, taking care of my childern and one is only 6 1/2 months

> old.If I could do ant kind of work and get paid for it don't they

> think I would, before lossing everything that I've worked sooooo hard

> for. Now they want to ask others how I feel, and what can I do? Just

> ask me, my children, my friends and family. Just come live in my

> house for a week and see how much I can and can't do. Give me test

> and hook me up to monitors to see what it takes out of me, there are

> other ways to do this then to put us through all this bull. They make

> this go on and on as long as they can. Sometimes I just don't feel I

> can go on anymore. I have tried going back to work, I have tried

> babysetting, the pain just isn't worth it. I don't feel I have a life

> any more, I am only here to feel the pain and hear and watch my life

> go by me, and I can't get into it. I am sorry if I am not making much

> sence, I get like this a lot anymore.

> thanks for your time Vicki

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Vicki,

Just like the other responses I too can share in your madness and

pain. Fortunately for people like us there are chat boards and groups

we can turn to when we are having bad times, hitting really low

points and are just frustrated to the point of exhaustion. Quick

background on me so you know I've been there, Aug 02, had emergency

laminectomy and discectomy on the disc between L4/L5 after rupturing

it moving furniture. It didn't work, missed time off work, tried

phyiscal therapy, tried cortisone shots, all the while having intense

pain which affected every aspect of my life from sleep, to working,

to simple things like taking a shower or sitting, standing or walking

more then 5 minutes without excruciating pain!! Two and a half weeks

ago on Dec 22, had my second back surgery, this time spinal fusion of

the L4/L5 level with ALIF the method of surgery, which means they

went in through the front, took the disc, inserted spacers where the

disc used to be and filled in the gaps with bone marrow and other

properties. The pain is still here, not as bad, but I developed a bad

case of hip bursitis as a result of my posture and walking and

sitting habits changing to diminish my back pain. Now I face 6 months

out of work, tons of rehab, and just hope and pray the pain ends

completely or as much as possible so I can return back to my once

active lifestyle. So there you have it, we can all identify and

certainly sympathize with what you are going through, feel free to

vent or ask questions anytime as we are are hear for one another and

whatever you do, do not give up! We've got to remember that there is

always someone else out there with it worse and we have to be

grateful for what we have.....

In my thoughts and prayers,

> This is so sad, that we all have to go through so much, to get some

> relief. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. We don't know

> if it will and when it does,if any, then we have to wonder how long

> it will last, and if it feels better, are we really hurting

ourselves

> more, just because they gave us something to help the pain not hurt

> so much. I had my first epidural shot on Dec.31st, and I had been

> praying so hard to let it help me. I have heard so many others say

it

> only did for a few months, and some say it didn't at all. Well I

> really felt so luckly after I had mine, I thought boy I was worried

> over nothing. Well the good part was for two days I felt pretty

damn

> good, not all the pain was gone, but way more then half of it was.

> The dr. said it could take up to 5 days, each day it will feel

> better. I was really looking forward to that.

> Well the 3rd day it started hurting more, I still thought it was

> still going to get better. Well it has been hurting me so much more

I

> think, I just don't know what to expect anymore.

> I have been try to get disability sence Feb. of last year, they

have

> turned me down twice, how can they go by what our dr. says, mine

told

> me I can go back to work, I can't even get around to taking

showers,

> shopping, taking care of my childern and one is only 6 1/2 months

> old.If I could do ant kind of work and get paid for it don't they

> think I would, before lossing everything that I've worked sooooo

hard

> for. Now they want to ask others how I feel, and what can I do?

Just

> ask me, my children, my friends and family. Just come live in my

> house for a week and see how much I can and can't do. Give me test

> and hook me up to monitors to see what it takes out of me, there

are

> other ways to do this then to put us through all this bull. They

make

> this go on and on as long as they can. Sometimes I just don't feel

I

> can go on anymore. I have tried going back to work, I have tried

> babysetting, the pain just isn't worth it. I don't feel I have a

life

> any more, I am only here to feel the pain and hear and watch my

life

> go by me, and I can't get into it. I am sorry if I am not making

much

> sence, I get like this a lot anymore.

> thanks for your time Vicki