OPENING THE ACCOUNT

[Guest guest]

Dear friends, I have rejoined the proup about 5 minutes ago,so to start with, please enjoy because laughter is big healer. I wishing every member good luck. nEXT POST WILL BE ABOUT TIPS TO CURE HEP-C.saleem NO-1 A man stayed in his house as a flood engulfed his town. Two men in a rowboat came to his house and offered to take him to safety. "No thank you", the man said, "God will help me". As the waters rose, the man retreated to the second story of his house. Now, two men in a motorboat came by and offered to rescue him. Again, the man declined, saying, "No thank you, God will help me." As the waters rose still higher, the man retreated again to the rooftop of his house. A helicopter came by, and someone inside it threw down a rope, urging the man to grab it and be pulled up into the helicopter. Once more, the man declined and said, "No thank you, God will help me." Whereupon a mighty voice called out to the man, "You idiot! I sent

you a rowboat, a motorboat, and now a helicopter. What more do you want me to do?". NO 2 A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache."2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!" NO3 A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.He said, "Shingles."So she took down his name, address,

medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had.He said, "Shingles."So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room. Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had.He said, "Shingles."So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had.He said, "Shingles."The doctor said, "Where?"He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them? NO 4 A lady rushes into the veterinarian and screams, "I found my dog unconscious and I can't wake him -- do something." The vet lays the dog on the examination table and after a few simple tests he says, "I'm sorry, I don't feel a pulse, I'm afraid your dog is dead". The lady can't accept this and says, "No, no, he can't be dead -- do something else." The vet goes into the other room, and comes back with a little cat. The cat jumps up on the table and starts sniffing the dog from head to toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden just stops and jumps off the table and leaves. "Well, that confirms it," the vet says, "your dog is dead." The lady is very upset but

finally settles down. "Okay, I guess you're right. How much do I owe you?" The vet says, "That will be $340." The lady has a fit and asks, "Why is it so much? After all the vet didn't do anything for the dog." "Well", the vet replied, "it's $40 for the office visit and $300 for the CAT SCAN!" __________________________________________________