Reacting to surgery

[Guest guest]

There is something about the thread where many of us have shared our

thoughts with about how we are supported during surgery that

has me reflecting a little bit.

If I was to quantify one of the scariest things about going through

the surgery as a teen, it was exactly this same theme...except then

I didn't really expect it to play out as it did...and I didn't have

an adults skills in putting others peoples inability to deal with me

and my " differentness " into perspective.

I don't think I am alone when I say that as hurtful as it was to

find that many peers simply abandoned me during that long plaster

encrusted year, the friends that " stuck " were the friends that are

still in my life 35 years later. And I believe I discovered then

something that was invaluable....that when tested, as

noted....some people really rise to the occasion and it is not

always predictable who those folks will be. And with an adults

perspective today, like , I can see why people did what they

did and understand and forgive. But there is a nagging little vlice

telling me that is me doing what I do very well, overcompensate for

others shortcomings.

And then here we get a do-over of sorts..and I wonder if in our " re-

do " some of the old anxiety doesn't crop up again? I guess what I

mean, I know I was stunned as a teen to find some people I never

dreamt would abandon our friendship just vanished. Is it any wonder

that I (or ) would reserve some of that anxiety for a husband

and be afraid that he might " dissappear " too, either literally or

figurativly? After all, when children learn life lessons they tend

to stick.

The theme of abandoment may well be one of the recurring nightmares

of our childhood experience. Therapy anyone?

Cam