RE: a recovery question about childcare

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

When I had my revision in December 2003, I had my mother here for 2 weeks and my older sister, an LPN, here for 6 weeks. My daughter was 12 at the time, which is much older than your two, but she still had to be driven to school, fed, pushed to do homework, etc... There is no way I could have "done" making dinner, washing clothes, loading / unloading a dishwasher, grocery shopping, making beds... As it is, I had fusion failure at S1, even with help and precautions, for whatever reasons. And with little ones, I would hate to think of you being tempted to pick them up - I know I was with my then-infant grandson. I also would not recommend doing it around the holidays. I have been sitting on the fence about my NEXT revision for 2 years for all the usual reasons - fear of failure, fear of unknown/worse complications, pain, putting my family thru the whole process again. Since my pain is now minimal and I do not have to work, I can afford to wait for the right time. I have even considered waiting until my daughter is out of high school in May 2009, just so she wouldn't have to deal with her emotions watching the whole thing again. With yours being so young, they will probably not absorb just how much Mommy is going thru', which is good. But you will need help, I truely believe.

Not trying to sound negative, but it would be much better to be overly prepared with extra hands ready, and then maybe, happily, find you do NOT need them... which would be fantastic.

- Marty

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

While I didn't have very young ones while recovering, I would expect you to go for a few months without being able to pick them up from the ground. Lorrie comes to mind as someone who could give you great advice as her daughter was young too when she had her revision. I would expect you would need a Mommie's helper with childcare, since you won't be able to lift. After a normal beginning stage of recovery,about six weeks, you could do meals and some household care stuff, but with two very young kids I think you would need help for a few months, at least parttime. I mean how would you get them in and out of car seats, etc. Having young children would make it difficult without a lot of help, by either family, friends or church support.

Let me say that revision has enabled me to be a very active grandmother to my 20 month old granddaughter. I keep her about eight days a month, and yes I'm able to pick her up using good form. While it tires me out( and it would any 47 year old woman) I'm thankful I had the revision before she came along. So I say it would be doable for you, but you would need a lot of support during the recovery process.

Colorado Springs

[ ] a recovery question about childcare

I know that this varies A LOT from person to person, depending on their health and other various circumstances. But I am just curious to hear people's opinions on this.I have two kids - ages 1.5 and 3. If I go ahead with revision surgery (the only details I know of the surgery is that it is expected to involve multiple osteotomies, removal of Harrington & Luque rods, fusion to sacrum, and lots of pedicle screws), what should I expect of my abilities to take care of my children after coming home from the hospital? Both kids are fairly independent and helpful (as much as can be expected), due to other health problems of mine which force them to do things on their own more than "typical" children their ages.

[Guest guest]

Marty,

I agree about having the extra childcare available! Luckily, my kids

are already used to not being picked up by me, since I haven't been

able to do that for most of their lives.

Good luck with your own revision decision! Do they know why your

fusion failed at S1?

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks for that info. I'm glad to hear that you are able to be so

active with your granddaughter!

As far as getting the kids in & out of their carseats, I don't worry

too much about that, since I haven't been able to drive in over a

year due to mobility problems with multiple sclerosis. My husband

is a great guy. He handles getting me in a wheelchair and both kids

in & out of the carseats whenever we go out anywhere. He also does

all the grocery shopping, dishes, some cleaning, some laundry, etc.

So he is used to my health problems keeping me from doing that kind

of stuff around the house. So hopefully it won't be too hard on him

during my recovery time. And maybe I'll even be able to help out

more after having revision.

>

> Dear ,

>

> While I didn't have very young ones while recovering, I would

expect you to go for a few months without being able to pick them up

from the ground. Lorrie comes to mind as someone who could give you

great advice as her daughter was young too when she had her

revision. I would expect you would need a Mommie's helper with

childcare, since you won't be able to lift. After a normal beginning

stage of recovery,about six weeks, you could do meals and some

household care stuff, but with two very young kids I think you would

need help for a few months, at least parttime. I mean how would you

get them in and out of car seats, etc. Having young children would

make it difficult without a lot of help, by either family, friends

or church support.

>

> Let me say that revision has enabled me to be a very active

grandmother to my 20 month old granddaughter. I keep her about eight

days a month, and yes I'm able to pick her up using good form. While

it tires me out( and it would any 47 year old woman) I'm thankful I

had the revision before she came along. So I say it would be doable

for you, but you would need a lot of support during the recovery

process.

>

>

> Colorado Springs

> [ ] a recovery question about childcare

>

>

> I know that this varies A LOT from person to person, depending

on

> their health and other various circumstances. But I am just

curious

> to hear people's opinions on this.

> I have two kids - ages 1.5 and 3. If I go ahead with revision

surgery

> (the only details I know of the surgery is that it is expected

to

> involve multiple osteotomies, removal of Harrington & Luque

rods,

> fusion to sacrum, and lots of pedicle screws), what should I

expect of

> my abilities to take care of my children after coming home from

the

> hospital? Both kids are fairly independent and helpful (as much

as

> can be expected), due to other health problems of mine which

force

> them to do things on their own more than " typical " children

their ages.

>

>

[Guest guest]

No explanation was ever given. I do know the doctor did not want to

rework anything in my old fusion area. I did not have a bone stim unit

nor a post-op brace either... and this was taking old fusion from T4

to L1 and extending it down to S1 with all the hardware. Nite, Marty

... Good luck with your own revision

decision! Do they know why your fusion failed at S1? >

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Is your husband home during the day? If he isn't, I would think you will still need a great deal of help during your recovery. Having a toddler is a non stop job and a three year old, I can't imagine how you would handle all that without a great deal of support. In away you have already been accustomed to restrictions( not driving) etc, but the pain and the " hit by a bus feeling" after surgery would require you to have a big support system following surgery. Granted down the road if you get the desired results from surgery you will have a lot less pain, or none, but that is definately down the road following surgery, a lot of us are on med's for at least a couple of months if not more. I only say this from experience, following my recoveries and seeing the recovery of a fellow member first hand. In no way would I have been able to be a full time caregiver for a small child (ren) during that first six weeks following surgery. My friend Carla from the group had a six year old while dealing with her recovery. She before surgery could only walk a VERY short distance with a walker. She totally planned on doing it alone once she got home, and found that couldn't be done, and her church family wouldn't allow it. She found after surgery that she needed to go stay with friends from her church, she couldn't recover without supports for her and her daughter. You also will need to be mindful of burn out with your husband, this is a tough surgery on them, and given your other medical problems he maybe more near that than you know. As Marty said better to be over prepared, to have tons of friends set up to help and not need them. All of us heal at different paces, but generally most of us feel like we are healing for at least a year, getting energy back and dealing with a very fused spine and the effects it has on our bodies. This surgery is unlike any others will comment about (Friends and Family), it has a very long recovery period. I know I laid it out in very plain terms for Carla's family and Church, and they have commented to Carla that they were thankful for my candidness, since it has been a lot like I said for her. I say this in friendship since I don't want you to underestimate how tough this recovery is. I also chime in because you want the surgery to be a total success, and if you do too much and in the wrong form you risk having fusion failure or worse. And imagine having to do the whole thing over again, I've had two full revisions, not fun. So while I'm not trying to bring you down, this surgery affords many of us a second chance at a full life,you must have the supports you will need to heal.

Colorado Springs

[ ] a recovery question about childcare> > > I know that this varies A LOT from person to person, depending on > their health and other various circumstances. But I am just curious > to hear people's opinions on this.> I have two kids - ages 1.5 and 3. If I go ahead with revision surgery > (the only details I know of the surgery is that it is expected to > involve multiple osteotomies, removal of Harrington & Luque rods, > fusion to sacrum, and lots of pedicle screws), what should I expect of > my abilities to take care of my children after coming home from the > hospital? Both kids are fairly independent and helpful (as much as > can be expected), due to other health problems of mine which force > them to do things on their own more than "typical" children their ages.> >

[Guest guest]

Hi – I had revision surgery

November 8, 2005 with Dr. Boachie. My little girl was 18 months old at

the time. Fortunately, I was able to take her and my husband to my parent’s

home on Long Island (I live in land)

and had them stay there while I had my surgery in NYC. My husband came to

visit me everyday. My mom took care of my daughter. After about 18

days in the hospital, I came home to my mom’s house. My daughter

did very well and really didn’t have a problem with my absence. My

mom really did continue to care for her – feeding her and diaper changes

for about 2 more weeks at her home. Then my husband, mom and my daughter

all traveled down to land.

My mom stayed for about 2 months to help me.

After she left, I still wasn’t

allowed to pick Jill up for about 2 months. I would get up early in the

AM with my husband and he would lift Jill out of the crib. The rest of

the day I got down on the floor to change her clothes and diapers. It was

very tough, but I did it – I was exhausted all the time and partially depressed.

I would cry a lot – but a lot had to do with the Fentanyl patch and

Percocet. Fortunately, Jilly would climb into the high chair for

meals. I managed well. If I need someone to pick Jill up for any

reason (like my husband worked late and Jill needed to go in the crib) I would

call one of the neighbors and they would send one of their kids over to lift

Jill. I knew if I had to get out of the house for an emergency –

like fire etc, Jill would walk out of the house with me. We had to stay

home, I read a lot of books to her while I was lying on the sofa. We

managed.

Jill is almost 3 now – she would

really miss me if I was away now having surgery. She was at a perfect age

to have my surgery. My mom was an angel – I’m glad I did it

when I did.

Lorrie Snyder

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of rebeccamaas

Sent: Wednesday, December 20, 2006

5:56 PM

Subject: [ ] a

recovery question about childcare

I know that this varies A LOT from person to person,

depending on

their health and other various circumstances. But I am just curious

to hear people's opinions on this.

I have two kids - ages 1.5 and 3. If I go ahead with revision surgery

(the only details I know of the surgery is that it is expected to

involve multiple osteotomies, removal of Harrington & Luque rods,

fusion to sacrum, and lots of pedicle screws), what should I expect of

my abilities to take care of my children after coming home from the

hospital? Both kids are fairly independent and helpful (as much as

can be expected), due to other health problems of mine which force

them to do things on their own more than " typical " children their

ages.