Need to vent

[Guest guest]

So I need to vent to some people that understand....I have late stage

neurological lymes, I am 28 years old and feel like a 70 year old. I have lost

all that makes me, me. I have no energy, physically or mentally, I never want to

do anything, I used to be nonstop, fun, happy, energetic. I used to live every

day like it was my last, getting every last second out of it and enjoyed it, now

I just survive thru the day so I can go to bed where I can sleep and not be a

burden to anyone. My daughter needs her mom, before she is a teenager, she is 4

and already I have missed out on a year of her life, we haven't been able to do

the fun stuff I looked forward to, we stay home, I don't want to be a hermit and

I don't want her wanting to be one when she gets big. I wake up each day feeling

like shit and don't even want to get out of bed because I know what lays ahead.

people dont even invite me to do things anymore, I don't know if it's because I

am such a miserable companion, or because I refuse to make a committment, not

knowing how I will feel one day to the next. I just need to hear that it will

get better, I can't live like this anymore, I don't want to be this person. I

want to be able to go camping, hiking, fishing, ride my horse again. I can't

feel my fingers or toes anymore, I have pain constantly, I am crabby and sad,

what the hell is with this disease???? I honestly would rather lose an arm or

leg, or have cancer. at least then I would know what to expect and deal with it

and live with it, I have no idea if I am going to get better from this, or if

the damn antibiotics are going to start working, after 3 months on them...

Uuuugggghhhh

sorry, I just needed to vent, I couldn't sleep last night, couldn't wake up

until 10:30 am, my daughter bouncing on the bed to get up, and found out my

friends went somewhere with all of their kids without even bothering to ask me

if I wanted to go. I just feel like a horrible mom.

Again, sorry, just needed to get that out

Bridget