bummed

[Guest guest]

> <i love my kids to death and don't

> regret them for a minute, buti often ponder if i willever have a life of my

> >

Hi, Everyone........thanks for the responses. and Leah......I hope you

realize prayers are said for you and everyone else, too. Sorry about the

cancelled surgery. We will need to go to Chicago to see a

specialist........nothing here in this little town. I am feeling better

today......just so bummed, but not angry at God. I do realize he has his own

agenda and I have to accept it and do the best I can. There's been a lot of

pressure in our lives lately: DH is already in Pa.:trying to find a new

house there: trying to get this house sold in Illinois:kids with the flu bug

for the past week:hearing all the negative reasons people don't want to buy

your house:etc. Today it is sunny and warm........that's as good a sign as

any for me!!! Take care, Everyone. Got a lot to do today.

Margaret

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/14/01 9:58:20 AM Eastern Standard Time, mfroof@...

writes:

<< Today it is sunny and warm........that's as good a sign as

any for me!!! Take care, Everyone. Got a lot to do today.

Margaret

>>

So happy you are feeling a little brighter today Margaret. Gosh, you got the

bug stuff too? This has been a really rotten winter with all the sicknesses

all over the country. No bites on the house? What will you do if it doesn't

sell?

Gail

[Guest guest]

Hang in there, Margaret! Hopefully today will be a turning point for the

better for you and your family! Prayers coming your way for that!

Terry

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/9/01 5:30:41 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

writes:

> Gosh . I am sorry. How are you feeling today?

> Donna

>

>

>

I was on the mend until I got the news about my foster care money........I'm

really bummed and getting into a depression over it.....not much to say.....

[Guest guest]

Deb,

I wouldn't even worry about that...I'm positive it's just the way

the person that tested you did it. If your clothes are fitting

looser, then you're doing something right. If you don't put those

calipers EXACTLY where they were before (which is virtually

impossible, unless you have " caliper testing site " tattoos!) then

the reading will be off. As long as your clothes are fitting

looser, something's working!

[Guest guest]

DO NOT GIVE UP! My measurements stayed the same and at some points

actually INCREASED at the 4 week mark! Don't ask me to explain why,

I have not got a clue. Keep going, then measure again at six weeks.

And as you know, you should get in your car, put the scale behind it

and back over it several times like it was a cheating husband.

> Hi all,

>

> This is Wednesday night of my 3rd perfect week. I have eaten by the

> book for this whole time and guess what. I'm getting exactly the

same

> results as when I was doing a half assed attempt at eating right

(ie.

> the first six weeks of this challenge).

>

> The results are exactly nothing. The ONLY weight (yes, I know, I

> know) that moved was the 3lb in the week when I gave up coke. Since

> then, nothing. Not only the weight, but the measurements aren't

> moving, this 30 " waist is something I would literally like to take

a

> knife to. I used to have a 26 " waist. I'm in WEEK NINE. I feel

like

> crying.

>

> The only thing I can think of is to give up free day. There is

> nothing else to do. This particular thought just makes me so

> depressed that I want free day right NOW. I honestly don't think

I

> can do it, but I've worked out that 4 pieces of pizza and 3 donuts

> (what I would have for dinner, not counting the whole freeday)

> actually adds up to approximately my whole days caloric burn.

> Obviously I'm just a food obsessed pig. No wonder I can't lose any

> fat.

>

> Sorry to bum everyone out,

> Phoenix

[Guest guest]

DON " T GIVE UP!!!!! you are doing great. I wouldn't suggest taking

your free day away but if you think that it will halo try having

afree meal instead of a free day. I knowI love my free days and t

would be hard to give it up but maybe a free meal would work instead

of taking the whole day off. Also if you haven't already and 2 more

cardio workouts in through out the week.

Take care and good luck.

Betty

> Hi all,

>

> This is Wednesday night of my 3rd perfect week. I have eaten by

the

> book for this whole time and guess what. I'm getting exactly the

same

> results as when I was doing a half assed attempt at eating right

(ie.

> the first six weeks of this challenge).

>

> The results are exactly nothing. The ONLY weight (yes, I know, I

> know) that moved was the 3lb in the week when I gave up coke.

Since

> then, nothing. Not only the weight, but the measurements aren't

> moving, this 30 " waist is something I would literally like to take

a

> knife to. I used to have a 26 " waist. I'm in WEEK NINE. I feel

like

> crying.

>

> The only thing I can think of is to give up free day. There is

> nothing else to do. This particular thought just makes me so

> depressed that I want free day right NOW. I honestly don't

think I

> can do it, but I've worked out that 4 pieces of pizza and 3 donuts

> (what I would have for dinner, not counting the whole freeday)

> actually adds up to approximately my whole days caloric burn.

> Obviously I'm just a food obsessed pig. No wonder I can't lose any

> fat.

>

> Sorry to bum everyone out,

> Phoenix

[Guest guest]

Phoenix,

DON'T GIVE UP!!!! Stay positive, follow the program, and you will

see results. Now with that being said, after reading your post it

seems to me that you are not in your 9th week of the program. If you

didn't follow it like you were supposed to for the first 6 weeks,

then you probably shouldn't count them. You are actually in your 3rd

week of the program, and alot of people don't see REAL results that

soon. As far as your last comment about you being " a food obsessed

pig " , well if you've done 3 perfect weeks then you've proven to

yourself that you are not food obsessed, you do have self-control,

and you should be proud of that. I can tell you that it did not take

you 3 weeks, or even 9 weeks to get you to the shape you're in

today. Stay motivated, read your goal list if you made one, eat

healthy out of the book, exercise, and enjoy your free day. Take it

one day at a time... you still have 9 weeks to go :-)

Jill

> Hi all,

>

> This is Wednesday night of my 3rd perfect week. I have eaten by the

> book for this whole time and guess what. I'm getting exactly the

same

> results as when I was doing a half assed attempt at eating right

(ie.

> the first six weeks of this challenge).

>

> The results are exactly nothing. The ONLY weight (yes, I know, I

> know) that moved was the 3lb in the week when I gave up coke. Since

> then, nothing. Not only the weight, but the measurements aren't

> moving, this 30 " waist is something I would literally like to take

a

> knife to. I used to have a 26 " waist. I'm in WEEK NINE. I feel

like

> crying.

>

> The only thing I can think of is to give up free day. There is

> nothing else to do. This particular thought just makes me so

> depressed that I want free day right NOW. I honestly don't think

I

> can do it, but I've worked out that 4 pieces of pizza and 3 donuts

> (what I would have for dinner, not counting the whole freeday)

> actually adds up to approximately my whole days caloric burn.

> Obviously I'm just a food obsessed pig. No wonder I can't lose any

> fat.

>

> Sorry to bum everyone out,

> Phoenix

[Guest guest]

>read your goal list if you made one,

And Phoenix, if you DIDN'T make one, make it TODAY!!!!!

_________________________________________________________________

Protect your PC - get McAfee.com VirusScan Online

http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963

[Guest guest]

Phoenix

I would not recommend giving up your free day, but maybe tone it down

a little. This is a lifetime plan and you want it to be liveable for

you. How do you feel after your free day, physically? If you feel

bloated and tired then that is a good indication that you are

overdoing it. I set down some loose free day rules that have helped

me without ruining my fun at all.

I still eat protein with my carbs

I still eat small portions

I can have anything I want as long as I really want it

I stil drink all my water.

So I may still have 4 slices of pizza, but i have them throughout the

day, I may still have 5 cookies, but I spread them throughout the day

and I have milk with them!

Beyond that, I wouldn't add anything to the program, but make sure

you are following everythign to the T. Are you confident that your

portions are right on? Are you hitting your 10 in your weightlifting

and cardio?

If everything is in place, keep in mind that there ARE women who

build muscle faster than they burn fat, and the rest of us mortals

are green with envy!! I had a friend who started BFL last Jan, her

weight wasn't going down, her pants were tighter, but you could see

new definition in her arms. Her husband is a trainer and he was

tracking our BF with a 7 site caliper test. Her BF WAS going down.

But after a couple of months she had had enough and stopped doing

straight BFL. But she did say to me last month, " I wonder where I

would be if I had stuck with it. " I know it is hard, but keep at it,

just go with the basics that are in the book. If you are building

muscle now, you will be so much better off in the end. Generally, it

is much harder to build muscle than to lose fat. Really.

HTH,

Lynda

[Guest guest]

Funny image I'm just about willing to do it!

JennA

> > Hi all,

> >

> > This is Wednesday night of my 3rd perfect week. I have eaten by

the

> > book for this whole time and guess what. I'm getting exactly the

> same

> > results as when I was doing a half assed attempt at eating right

> (ie.

> > the first six weeks of this challenge).

> >

> > The results are exactly nothing. The ONLY weight (yes, I know, I

> > know) that moved was the 3lb in the week when I gave up coke.

Since

> > then, nothing. Not only the weight, but the measurements aren't

> > moving, this 30 " waist is something I would literally like to

take

> a

> > knife to. I used to have a 26 " waist. I'm in WEEK NINE. I feel

> like

> > crying.

> >

> > The only thing I can think of is to give up free day. There is

> > nothing else to do. This particular thought just makes me so

> > depressed that I want free day right NOW. I honestly don't

think

> I

> > can do it, but I've worked out that 4 pieces of pizza and 3

donuts

> > (what I would have for dinner, not counting the whole freeday)

> > actually adds up to approximately my whole days caloric burn.

> > Obviously I'm just a food obsessed pig. No wonder I can't lose

any

> > fat.

> >

> > Sorry to bum everyone out,

> > Phoenix

[Guest guest]

Hi there~ I had really great results on BFL and I took a full free days

sometimes I ate candy at midnight I was so excited! LOL... But now that I

am looking back at how and why I was so sucessful I realized that the day

after Free Day I ate 4 clean meals instead of 6... I didn't even know I did

that until recently. I don't know if this is one of the reasons that I was so

sucessful but I am going to do everything I did in the past to get this

weight off again!

Good Luck

Dawn

[Guest guest]

first, I havent found tranquilizers to work on DS... one time he had to have

stitches & they gave him something to put him to sleep...HA! He laid there are

hallucinated the whole time, twitching and making noises.

secondly, check with your local autism society or FEAT org for autism friendly

dentists. We have one here in town & while DS is only 4 and doesnt really need

to go yet, I will probably take him there once he does. This dentist has a

child with AS & his wife is really active in the autism community. considering

the incidence of ASD, there must be a dentist in your area who is affected by

it somehow.

good luck! I feel for you!

Donna RL

>===== Original Message From Congdon-Barnello <Luvourlives@...>

=====

>Well I tried to take Alonzo to the dentist today for a checkup. He had only

been to the dentist once before at age 3 to get his teeth counted. It didn't

go well. I couldn't get him to sit in the chair, or let the dentist put the

mirror in his mouth. Lots of tears, lots of yelling don't touch me. The

dentist offered to give him nitrous oxide, but it would have meant putting him

in the chair and at least gentle restraining until he relaxed. Unfortunately

there is no gentle restraining Alonzo, especially in a new environment. The

panic sets in and would end with complete restraint and then dealing with the

after effects of a stressed child for at least a week...probably longer.

>

>I don't know what to do. I am so concerned that some day he will have a

dental emergency and won't be able to handle it having had no positive dental

experiences prior. When I talked to his ped he said he wouldn't give him

anything for anxiety unless it was a med he would take every day. I don't

think Zo's anxiety calls for that. It is only situational and those situations

are infrequent enough that it doesn't make sense to medicate every day. Does

anyone know...IS there something that a 7 yo could be given (a tranquilizer or

something) for dealing with this? Something that he might just take that day?

>

>

>

>

>

D. Marie Ralstin-

University of Oregon

Graduate Teaching Fellow, Department of Sociology

Native American Event Coordinator, Office of Admissions

717 PLC Hall

Eugene, Oregon 97403

541-346-5071

dralstin@...

d.ralstin@...

http://gladstone.uoregon.edu/~dralstin/

Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which we should not

put. - Winston Churchill

Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be

counted. -Albert Einstein

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Did you try writing a social story (with pictures) to show Alonzo what would

happen?

It would help if you could maybe take him when you are going for a check-up

to watch and see that nothing dreadful happens.

You could also try making a game at home - first where he is the dentist,

you sit in the chair and he puts a mirror in your mouth (make one out of

cardboard or similar, so it can't hurt anyone), and when he is comforatble

with that, then the other way around.

Also, ask your dentist if he can sit on your lap, or even not go near the

chair at all. Make appointments where you just go in and come out, without

doing anything. Then progress to having his teeth checked, either in or out

of the chair, with the aim of doing it 'properly' one day, but maybe not for

a long time.

I think lots of small steps are the way to tackle this (but wait until he

has forgotten today's experience if you can).

in England

[Guest guest]

Our dentist also mentioned using a shot to help sedate ds -- he's got to have six cavities filled. She's wonderful, has TV screens in the ceiling above the chairs, uses nitrous, too, and offers all kinds of options to make the child more comfortable. She also has experience with spectrum children. Perhaps you could look for a dentist more geared to special needs children?

Ds let the first dentist scan his mouth quickly. He referred us to this ped dentist, whom we love. Her staff is also extremely accommodating. They let parents stay in (except we can't stay in the whole time if it's done under general, though we would be with him while he falls asleep and when he wakes up) and when she first examined him, he laid there, was cooperative after she really took nice time showing him everything, then fell asleep, which he often does when overstim'd. I think we'll be successful under nitrous and/or shot, but my suggestion would be to find a dentist with lots of options, and if there's no problems with his teeth, perhaps wait and only put him through it if he needs it?

bummed

Well I tried to take Alonzo to the dentist today for a checkup. He had only been to the dentist once before at age 3 to get his teeth counted. It didn't go well. I couldn't get him to sit in the chair, or let the dentist put the mirror in his mouth. Lots of tears, lots of yelling don't touch me. The dentist offered to give him nitrous oxide, but it would have meant putting him in the chair and at least gentle restraining until he relaxed. Unfortunately there is no gentle restraining Alonzo, especially in a new environment. The panic sets in and would end with complete restraint and then dealing with the after effects of a stressed child for at least a week...probably longer.

I don't know what to do. I am so concerned that some day he will have a dental emergency and won't be able to handle it having had no positive dental experiences prior. When I talked to his ped he said he wouldn't give him anything for anxiety unless it was a med he would take every day. I don't think Zo's anxiety calls for that. It is only situational and those situations are infrequent enough that it doesn't make sense to medicate every day. Does anyone know...IS there something that a 7 yo could be given (a tranquilizer or something) for dealing with this? Something that he might just take that day?

[Guest guest]

I know a few kids were given small doses of valium before the dentist fort the same reason. was SO BAD until he was like 8 or 9, we did as little as possible and went as little as possible.

One year at school the mobile dentist came, it was a huge RV set up like the dentist office. They gave all the kids a tour and later he saw all the other kids just having their teeth cleaned like it was no big deal, he tried it himself and that was it...problem solved!! Do you have a pediatric dentist locally??? ours is great!!!

-Charlotte

bummed

Well I tried to take Alonzo to the dentist today for a checkup. He had only been to the dentist once before at age 3 to get his teeth counted. It didn't go well. I couldn't get him to sit in the chair, or let the dentist put the mirror in his mouth. Lots of tears, lots of yelling don't touch me. The dentist offered to give him nitrous oxide, but it would have meant putting him in the chair and at least gentle restraining until he relaxed. Unfortunately there is no gentle restraining Alonzo, especially in a new environment. The panic sets in and would end with complete restraint and then dealing with the after effects of a stressed child for at least a week...probably longer.

I don't know what to do. I am so concerned that some day he will have a dental emergency and won't be able to handle it having had no positive dental experiences prior. When I talked to his ped he said he wouldn't give him anything for anxiety unless it was a med he would take every day. I don't think Zo's anxiety calls for that. It is only situational and those situations are infrequent enough that it doesn't make sense to medicate every day. Does anyone know...IS there something that a 7 yo could be given (a tranquilizer or something) for dealing with this? Something that he might just take that day?

[Guest guest]

We have a

pediatric dentist that specializes in special needs. The whole office is set to

go at the child’s pace. Everything is made “fun”. It is low stimulation, lots

of explaining, asking the child’s permission after showing them on themselves/parent/each

other what they are going to do, letting the kids fiddle with the equipment so

that it takes the scariness out of it, and then causing as little stimulation

to the mouth/gums as possible when any cleaning/work is done… They also can

bring their friends, their comfort items, parents, etc for support. Tyler is

very tactilely sensitive and can become highly anxious, so this really works

well for him!!!

~hugs~

Rabecca

-----Original

Message-----

From: designs

[mailto:scottdesigns@...]

Sent: Thursday, February 17, 2005

11:12 AM

To:

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: Re:

bummed

I know a few kids were given small doses of valium before the

dentist fort the same reason. was SO BAD until he was like 8 or 9,

we did as little as possible and went as little as possible.

One year at school the mobile dentist came, it was a huge RV set

up like the dentist office. They gave all the kids a tour and later

he saw all the other kids just having their teeth cleaned like it was no big

deal, he tried it himself and that was it...problem solved!! Do you have

a pediatric dentist locally??? ours is great!!!

-Charlotte

-----

Original Message -----

From:

Congdon-Barnello

ASD

Sent: Thursday, February 17,

2005 11:04 AM

Subject:

bummed

Well I tried

to take Alonzo to the dentist today for a checkup. He had only been to the

dentist once before at age 3 to get his teeth counted. It didn't go well. I

couldn't get him to sit in the chair, or let the dentist put the mirror in his

mouth. Lots of tears, lots of yelling don't touch me. The dentist offered to

give him nitrous oxide, but it would have meant putting him in the chair and at

least gentle restraining until he relaxed. Unfortunately there is no gentle

restraining Alonzo, especially in a new environment. The panic sets in and

would end with complete restraint and then dealing with the after effects of a

stressed child for at least a week...probably longer.

I don't know

what to do. I am so concerned that some day he will have a dental emergency and

won't be able to handle it having had no positive dental experiences prior.

When I talked to his ped he said he wouldn't give him anything for anxiety

unless it was a med he would take every day. I don't think Zo's anxiety calls

for that. It is only situational and those situations are infrequent enough

that it doesn't make sense to medicate every day. Does anyone know...IS there

something that a 7 yo could be given (a tranquilizer or something) for dealing

with this? Something that he might just take that day?

[Guest guest]

I would take him to see Dr. Ron Garza. He has a child on the spectrum and is great with SI kids. Mine is deathly afraid and he was able to remove a absessed tooth in the office. He is very patient and has a calming effect. (214) 341-3114 A few weeks after this Kody needed dental surgery and when surgery was over he spent time talking with us about Kody and his many issues and even gave me his cell phone # incase we had any emergencies.

Wonderful DENTIST!!!

Mom4kody

From: Congdon-Barnello [mailto:Luvourlives@...] Sent: Thursday, February 17, 2005 10:01 AMttyreeSubject: bummed

Well I tried to take Alonzo to the dentist today for a checkup. He had only been to the dentist once before at age 3 to get his teeth counted. It didn't go well. I couldn't get him to sit in the chair, or let the dentist put the mirror in his mouth. Lots of tears, lots of yelling don't touch me. The dentist offered to give him nitrous oxide, but it would have meant putting him in the chair and at least gentle restraining until he relaxed. Unfortunately there is no gentle restraining Alonzo, especially in a new environment. The panic sets in and would end with complete restraint and then dealing with the after effects of a stressed child for at least a week...probably longer.

I don't know what to do. I am so concerned that some day he will have a dental emergency and won't be able to handle it having had no positive dental experiences prior. When I talked to his ped he said he wouldn't give him anything for anxiety unless it was a med he would take every day. I don't think Zo's anxiety calls for that. It is only situational and those situations are infrequent enough that it doesn't make sense to medicate every day. Does anyone know...IS there something that a 7 yo could be given (a tranquilizer or something) for dealing with this? Something that he might just take that day?

[Guest guest]

,

Where are you? We have a wonderful pediatric dentist. Jack thinks

he is at the circus. Tons of prizes and fun, we've never had a

problem - and believe me we expected one after being kicked out of

several hair cutting establishments!! If you are anywhere near PA

let me know and I will send you the phone number!

How about asking your dentist if you can pop in to just to say hello

a few times to get him used to the dentist? There are several great

kids books about going to the dentist too. Also, how about that play-

doh toy that is a giant mouth with dental tools to let him try to

play at being the dentist first?

Anne, Mom to Jack, 7.4, AS, DSI, ADD

[Guest guest]

I am in Ithaca, NY. We are a couple of hours from PA. I did take him

to a pediatric dentist. Another dentist I called recommended them.

The dentist did seem familiar with autism, reassuring me that Alonzo

may be able to do this in time. I guess I feel an unneccessary

urgency, ya know. Maybe I will try the playdough thing.

He just is very defensive...doesn't like being touched by strangers

(in what he perceives as an aggressive manner) or having anything

put in his mouth...like at the drs. they cannot use a tongue

depressor. He did give the dentist a hug before he left though so I

guess that is a step in the right direction.

>

> ,

>

> Where are you? We have a wonderful pediatric dentist. Jack

thinks

> he is at the circus. Tons of prizes and fun, we've never had a

> problem - and believe me we expected one after being kicked out of

> several hair cutting establishments!! If you are anywhere near PA

> let me know and I will send you the phone number!

>

> How about asking your dentist if you can pop in to just to say

hello

> a few times to get him used to the dentist? There are several

great

> kids books about going to the dentist too. Also, how about that

play-

> doh toy that is a giant mouth with dental tools to let him try to

> play at being the dentist first?

>

> Anne, Mom to Jack, 7.4, AS, DSI, ADD

[Guest guest]

Best of luck........... Do you have any Sensory Integration Specialty Clinics there? That's how I found our pediDentist here in Texas. It's worth a shot

if he doesn't do well on the next visit.

Hope all goes well there!

Mom4kody

From: [mailto:Luvourlives@...] Sent: Thursday, February 17, 2005 4:30 PMttyreeSubject: Re: bummed

I am in Ithaca, NY. We are a couple of hours from PA. I did take him to a pediatric dentist. Another dentist I called recommended them. The dentist did seem familiar with autism, reassuring me that Alonzo may be able to do this in time. I guess I feel an unneccessary urgency, ya know. Maybe I will try the playdough thing. He just is very defensive...doesn't like being touched by strangers (in what he perceives as an aggressive manner) or having anything put in his mouth...like at the drs. they cannot use a tongue depressor. He did give the dentist a hug before he left though so I guess that is a step in the right direction.> > , > > Where are you? We have a wonderful pediatric dentist. Jack thinks > he is at the circus. Tons of prizes and fun, we've never had a > problem - and believe me we expected one after being kicked out of > several hair cutting establishments!! If you are anywhere near PA > let me know and I will send you the phone number!> > How about asking your dentist if you can pop in to just to say hello > a few times to get him used to the dentist? There are several great > kids books about going to the dentist too. Also, how about that play-> doh toy that is a giant mouth with dental tools to let him try to > play at being the dentist first?> > Anne, Mom to Jack, 7.4, AS, DSI, ADD

[Guest guest]

Thanks, he did have a sensory eval at the OT clinic at a local

college, maybe I will call them and ask for a recommendation.

> >

> > ,

> >

> > Where are you? We have a wonderful pediatric dentist. Jack

> thinks

> > he is at the circus. Tons of prizes and fun, we've never had a

> > problem - and believe me we expected one after being kicked out

of

> > several hair cutting establishments!! If you are anywhere near

PA

> > let me know and I will send you the phone number!

> >

> > How about asking your dentist if you can pop in to just to say

> hello

> > a few times to get him used to the dentist? There are several

> great

> > kids books about going to the dentist too. Also, how about that

> play-

> > doh toy that is a giant mouth with dental tools to let him try

to

> > play at being the dentist first?

> >

> > Anne, Mom to Jack, 7.4, AS, DSI, ADD

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

>

[Guest guest]

Valium is always safe and reliable. He wouldn't need very much and it would help him relax.

Just a suggestion,

Donna.

bummed

doesn't make sense to medicate every day. Does anyone know...IS there something that a 7 yo could be given (a tranquilizer or something) for dealing with this? Something that he might just take that day?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/19/2006 6:16:08 AM Central Standard Time, lindelou@... writes:

I have looked into the lap band procedure with Dr. A and have actually been accepted for the procedure. My problem in that I haven't mentioned it to my husband or family. How can they understand that I need to spend 8200 dollars to lose the weight when I can't accept it myself? If I just had some discipline I would be able to lose the weight myself. It is an endless cycle of setting goals for myself and then failing to meet them. In the end I feel sad and weak and like I am becoming more invisible every day. People seem to look through me, avoid me like what I have might be contagious or assume that the excess weight has affected my mind and talk over me to someone of a more normal weight. I am a professional in the health care field and I feel that my body image weakens my ability to do my job. Not just through the public's eyes but also my own. Enough wallowing for this evening. Thanks for the ear.

, when the day comes that you value your own opinion more than others, and are convinced your life is worth $8,200.00 will be the day you "announce" your decision to them. It would be nice to have their support and encouragment, but it's not nessecary. After you have read this board for a while you will see that others have had the same quandry. This is about YOU, your life, your ability to feel proud and VISIBLE. This is YOUR decision to make. As others before you, you can do it without their support, but it would make it nicer and more pleasant if they are behind you.

Good luck,

[Guest guest]

, We have all been right where you are. Your statement, "If I just had some discipline I would be able to lose the weight myself..." I wish I had a dime for everytime an overweight person said that because Bill Gates and I would probably be neighbors by now! Look, if that were possible, Dr. Aceves would have to be in another line of work because no one would need bariatric surgery. You know that overeating is an addiction, right? It has little to do with self-discipline. Now, the band, however, is not a cure all for obesity. It is a tool that gives you the power to be successful. Think about that...the power to be successful. You can't sit back and assume it will do it all for you but if you use your tool properly, it will work. As far as you accepting that you need to do something about your weight, I have found that many

people, even some on this board, are somewhat ashamed (maybe that word is a little strong) of having their bands and they don't tell people about them. Me, on the other hand, will proclaim it to the world if I get the opportunity. I have always been one of those people who has silently envied those people who have muscular bodies, firm and fit....those who work out in a gym every day...those who use the PROPER TOOLS necessary to reach their goals....Follow me??? I look at my band like that. I am using the proper tool necessary to help me reach my goal. How could that cause shame? How could I NOT be proud of that? Look, sometimes I get on this morbid kick about the necessity of having my band. My mother died unexpectedly from complications from being obese. I didn't want that to happen to me but I knew that was where I was headed if I didn't do something drastic. My husband has

never dealt with personal weight issues but when I mentioned the idea of a lapband and asked him to go to a seminar locally with me, he was very supportive. In fact, once I heard the local cost of the band, I put it out of my head. He was the one who said that we should research going out of the country to have it done. He was the one who found Nina and Dr. Aceves. And I thought he would tell me no from the very beginning. If your husband knows you have been struggling with weight issues and the depression and damaged self-esteem it causes, perhaps he will also be supportive. You won't know until you try. Now, I held off telling my father for a very long time. In fact, my husband wouldn't let me make final arrangements with Nina until I told my dad what my plans were. I sort of manipulate my dad, I think. He called to tell me some news that I think he was afraid I wouldn't take too

well. He called to tell me that he had found a woman that he was falling in love with (almost a year after my mom's death) and wanted to let me know what was going on. Well, I hid my shock and gave him all the encouragement he needed to hear and basically gave him my approval (not that he really needed it at that moment). The next day, I called him back and told him MY news....how could he not approve??? Pretty sneaky, don't ya think? Anyway, my family have all been supportive and have all been interested in my weightloss journey. Hopefully your family will as well. , do what is best for YOU. I could ramble on and on and on but each of us has to find a way in which to feel better about ourselves. My band has been the catalyst that has pushed me into a much more rewarding, much more active life. Good luck with your decision and keep in touch. Jenni

Currie DOB 2/23/06 231/163/145lindelou <lindelou@...> wrote: I have looked into the lap band procedure with Dr. A and have actually been accepted for the procedure. My problem in that I haven't mentioned it to my husband or family. How can they understand that I need to spend 8200 dollars to lose the weight when I can't accept it myself? If I just had some discipline I would be able to lose the weight myself. It is an endless cycle of setting goals for myself and then

failing to meet them. In the end I feel sad and weak and like I am becoming more invisible every day. People seem to look through me, avoid me like what I have might be contagious or assume that the excess weight has affected my mind and talk over me to someone of a more normal weight. I am a professional in the health care field and I feel that my body image weakens my ability to do my job. Not just through the public's eyes but also my own. Enough wallowing for this evening. Thanks for the ear.

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