I need advice

[Guest guest]

I am recently divorced after a 24 year marriage and three children as well as

recently dx with lyme. I am 52.

I was bit in 87, at an ag experiment station in western NE where my ex was

employed, have been ill for the past 14 years and have a 15 and 17 year old

living with me.

My 15 year old daughter was born a year after I was bit (my illness didn't

show in a major way until 3 years after bite-I went through a pregnancy and c-

section in 88, my daughter was born without problems, and my lyme

meningitis showed up in 90).

My daughter, Ruth, tested + last summer after our dog came down with

Ehrlichiosis and Rocky Mtn. My ex-husband hikes alot. The dog was - for

lyme, but of course we know that they may not have been accurate.

The puzzle is did my daughter get antibodies from me or did she get the

organism or did she get something from the dog? She also was at a camp in

New Mexico last summer.

She was retested by an infectious doc here and he said it was neg. At this

point after research, I was wondering about my fibromyalgia dx because of

the original tick bite, I did have tests in the nineties when I found out about

lyme and they were neg.

Anyway, the infectious doc refused to see me after I asked him about the Qrib

test as my daughter was receiving the negative dx. It's all so complicated and

unbelieveable.

Dr. M, when I saw him for the first time last week gave me a test kit for her.

She does have some symptoms like fleeting chest pains and abdominal pains

but nothing big. Last summer she did 2 weeks of doxy and was refused more

medication. After that, is when the pains started. She doesn't have headaches

although once during her cycle she did the nausea thing and couldn't walk

and I gave her phenegren. Even if she had a positive western blot, does this

mean she sould take abx?

Everyone, I am so discouraged at this point. I myself know I need, from all the

reading I've done, the iv abx. Should I give my teenagers to their father, leave

Amarillo and focus on the iv? I am not from here and have no family and few

friends. I have no friends that really understand what I'm going through. I know

no one with lyme although I know there are people here with the fibro dx. Dr.

M told me that fibro is lyme in all probability.

My natural parents are gone and my remaining family don't understand and

are in other parts of the country. I was constantly moved thoughout my

childhood. I have lost close contact with them since my marriage and the

distance. But I do have a friend here and there that I might be able to start a

new life somewhere.

I don't feel comfortable here. My illness and former focus don't fit here. I

have

a teaching degree in French-its expired so I would have to renew it. There are

few opportunities in French here and most keep their positions forever-a few

spots in high school. There is a four year college part of the Texas A & M

system about 20 miles south but there is no French. I didn't know I was going

to live here or I would have chosen Spanish!

I'm sorry about all of this info but today I am just so discouraged.

I am a Christian now but was in some confusion throughout the marriage. My

ex- husband is a Buddhist. Like many growing up in the seventies, we grew

up in darkness. I am so thankful that I finally found the light. I was saved

when

I was 10, but such confusion in my education and the world around me

created a double mind.

I never lost a love for Jesus and always used Him as a moral compass even

through my sin of looking at other faiths which never brought peace. And at

times I truly did not understand sin. Modern psychology makes such excuses

for our behaviour.

My mother and stepfather sent us to a Lutheran church in Omaha but they did

not attend. I'm not blaming them, it's just a fact. And those of you who grew up

at this time without good Bible translation may understand the confusion. I

actually had never read the Bible until about five years ago. I was so

convicted. For example, I didn't realize that listening to psychics on tv was

dangerous. However, it was the realization that this negative spiritual world

existed that caused me to read the Bible.

This is all I have to cling to. I am really in that spot where I am totally

dependent on Jesus.

Should I leave Amarillo and try to find the iv? By searching, I may be helping

my daughter. Doctors here don't want to acknowledge it. The home health

agencies have only treated one person whose doc was Dr. Harvey in

Houston, who is no longer taking patients.

I feel like I had to tell you some of the details of my life so that if you

choose to

respond, you will know what I'm up against. Thank You for reading this far!!

I'm exhausted from just writing it, so I will not take it personally if you

can't

handle this. May our Father God help all of you-Anne