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Hello,

I'm still holding steady after my Arava was pulled due to high liver

enzymes. I realized I didn't have my next appointment with my rheumy

set up, so I called today to make it. They said the next one's not

available 'til Sept. but they would check with her about whether I

should be seen sooner. I'm sure she'll say yes, but it gave me a kind

of abandoned feeling to hear that she's not readily available to help

me through this time. Logically, I know it would never happen, but a

phone call to ask, " How are you doing? " would mean so much! I feel

like I'm going through a big transition without any support.

Last evening I felt some pain and fatigue come back and had

disappointing reactions from my husband and daughter. My lying on the

couch and being unavailable to meet their desires made my husband

depressed and my daughter angry.

Today I had a conversation with a friend and she laid some new age

crap on me about personal responsibility for illness...I felt angry

after talking with her. Her view of me and my physical condition felt

judgemental. I'm not sure I like her anymore (not only for this

reason).

I'm so glad I'm going to the naturopathic doctor this week. I'm

prepared for the worst, but have a glimmer of hope for the best.

A doctor who cares and inspires hope would be wonderful.

Tonight I feel damaged and alone.

Thanks for listening.

Sierra

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