Re: TABOO

December 31, 2005

I agree Alana, I don't think Meg has to wait for

marriage, that just happened to be my choice in my

situation. What I meant was, " Meg, please don't give

in to raging hormones " , at least care about the guy

first. One thing I've learned is that sex for women

is more emotional than guys. I just didn't want her

to give in to her hormones because she had the

opportunity. So, I second that, follow your heart

Simone

--- Alana <alrt@...> wrote:

> vicki...i'm one of the jezabels, too...lol...still

> " living in sin " .

>

> but in all seriousness, simone earlier on the this

> thread said to meg

> that she'll be happy that she waited for the right

> partner...preserving virginity was the topic.

> reading this reminded

> me how very diverse this list is. it's so important

> for each

> individual to follow her or his heart on this issue

> of sex. some

> have spiritual and/or ethical beliefs that guide

> them to maintain

> their virginity until they marry or go through some

> sort of

> sanctioned joining. i myself am glad i didn't wait

> for the right man

> or woman. i've learned so much from each partner

> both emotionally

> and physically, and i've really enjoyed my

> relationships [except for

> that one asshole ]. i don't have spiritual,

> ethical beliefs or

> family pressure that disagree with other than what i

> have done, so

> this has made my choices right for me.

>

> people should definitely follow their hearts while

> paying attention

> to their hormones.

>

> alana

>

> >

> > Jeez, I feel like a real Jezebel! I had 6 sexual

> partners before I

> married

>

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December 31, 2005

As for the still " living in sin " , you and Chuck are

very committed to each other, in my eyes, that's not

living in sin. Not to mention, you guys make a cute

couple. Okay, I'm outta here. Happy New Year!!!

Hugs,

Simone

--- Alana <alrt@...> wrote:

> vicki...i'm one of the jezabels, too...lol...still

> " living in sin " .

Album: http://community.webshots.com/user/ssegerter

Website: http://www.geocities.com/sunshine9573

" Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of

trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition

inspired, and success achieved. "

__________________________________________

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Just $16.99/mo. or less.

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December 31, 2005

I'm with ya there, darlin!!

>

> I play a huge role in our sex life despite having little

independent

> movement. I *can* move all the important parts.

>

> Amy

> Wife to Will 11/3/95

> Mama to Olivia Isabelle 9/18/03 - she's two!

> http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/o/oliviathegreat/

> Phineas Maximilian 11/30/05 - he's here!

> http://babiesonline.com/babies/m/mama20305/

>

December 31, 2005

Im not exactly waiting for marriage or for that

" perfect " guy.... I moreso am waiting to be with a guy

that I could trust. Some of the guys Ive dated were

great and I had fun with them and all, but I dont know

that I would have felt completely at ease if I had

gone all the way with them. I think the only guy I

have felt that way about was when I was 15! And at

that age I just wasnt ready for sex maturity wise I

dont think. If I were with that guy now at this time

and age, I'd so jump his bones! lol

I think that sex can be great no matter what your

'ability'. It might feel a bit weird telling your guy

or girl to help ya out, but I think that if you are

having sex with that person in the first place, your

communication skills should already be up to par!

I look forward to that day that I get to 'share

myself' but in the same, I am just fine not having

sex!

--- Alana <alrt@...> wrote:

> vicki...i'm one of the jezabels, too...lol...still

> " living in sin " .

>

> but in all seriousness, simone earlier on the this

> thread said to meg

> that she'll be happy that she waited for the right

> partner...preserving virginity was the topic.

> reading this reminded

> me how very diverse this list is. it's so important

> for each

> individual to follow her or his heart on this issue

> of sex. some

> have spiritual and/or ethical beliefs that guide

> them to maintain

> their virginity until they marry or go through some

> sort of

> sanctioned joining. i myself am glad i didn't wait

> for the right man

> or woman. i've learned so much from each partner

> both emotionally

> and physically, and i've really enjoyed my

> relationships [except for

> that one asshole ]. i don't have spiritual,

> ethical beliefs or

> family pressure that disagree with other than what i

> have done, so

> this has made my choices right for me.

>

> people should definitely follow their hearts while

> paying attention

> to their hormones.

>

> alana

>

> >

> > Jeez, I feel like a real Jezebel! I had 6 sexual

> partners before I

> married

>

__________________________________

for Good - Make a difference this year.

http://brand./cybergivingweek2005/

December 31, 2005

I think that was well stated . I disagree with the sexual peek

for men that was posted. males from about 12 to mid 20s will hump

anything that will stand still. women in mid 30s to 40s are more

sexually hungery than they were in their 20s. but i dont think

comparing ab people to special situation people is a linear scale

either.

> > >

> > > Jeez, I feel like a real Jezebel! I had 6 sexual

> > partners before I

> > married

> >

>

> __________________________________

> for Good - Make a difference this year.

> http://brand./cybergivingweek2005/

>

December 31, 2005

I don't agree about DA men.. I think urges can be equal, & men have easier

access to satisfy them.

Ksmile96@...aol12/30/05 5:55 PM

Nick,

I've always felt DA men have it harder than DA women when it comes to

sexual

urges. Most men have a higher sex drive than most woman, thus needing a

outlet for it or a need to satisfy the urges. I heard about the DMD guy

who was

reported by his nurse for masterbating, and IMO it's the nursing agency's

duty to help w/psycho-social needs which includes sex. I'm not saying that

they are required to help them actively relieve themselves, but setting a

guy up

or giving him a urinal to masterbate in doesn't seem very harmful to either

party. I also wish there was a way to educate society and especially

caregivers of the DA about sexual needs of DA ppl. This is also a heated

ethical

topic when it comes to the mentally DA. I know of one institution in PA

where

a male sex therapist instructs the mentally DA on how to masterbate. Some

may think this is gross and wrong, but really is it?? I'd like to hear

others

thoughts on how to educate society about the sexual needs of the DA.

Kimi

In a message dated 12/30/2005 12:37:07 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

nickdupree@... writes:

Remember disabled men too.....

Unfortunately, it is still taboo for most people with disabilities.

Hell, as recently as the 1970s Americans with disabilities were still

subject to court-ordered forced sterilization.

A guy on Duchenne's listserv got reported to the agency for " sexual

harrassment " just because a nurse caught him masturbating (in his own

house) in the urinal she gave him and freaked out. This is the

predominant attitude in most parts of the US, that people with

disabilities should not be sexual and we shouldn't see it or talk about

it. .

How do we change this? How do we go from taboo to no taboo?

Nick

December 31, 2005

LOL. yes, sin is such a relative thing...isn't it.

Hugs,

Alana

>

> As for the still " living in sin " , you and Chuck are

> very committed to each other, in my eyes, that's not

> living in sin. Not to mention, you guys make a cute

> couple. Okay, I'm outta here. Happy New Year!!!

>

> Hugs,

> Simone

>

December 31, 2005

>

> I agree Alana, I don't think Meg has to wait for

> marriage, that just happened to be my choice in my

> situation. What I meant was, " Meg, please don't give

> in to raging hormones " , at least care about the guy

> first. One thing I've learned is that sex for women

> is more emotional than guys. I just didn't want her

> to give in to her hormones because she had the

> opportunity. So, I second that, follow your heart

>

> Simone

>

December 31, 2005

my thing is, i met an AWESOME guy, but hes got another form of md, & is

almost totally paralized, hes also full time on a vent, & i can only use 1

hand & its extremely limited. i dont really know how we could ...........

ive had sexual relationships b4 with other da men, but i was stronger then &

they were more abled too. we never had intercourse, but we did EVERYTHING

else. any1 got any ideas 4me???????

ty,

~

Ksmile96@...aol12/30/05 3:46 AM

Your ? is not Taboo. 1st off you need to get away from the stereotypical

notion that disabled people do not have sex. You are woman, and that's a

natural part of a woman's life, disabled or not. There are many couples

here who

have kids, so we all know they have had sex . Just b/c you can't always

physically do everything involved w/sex, doesn't mean " no sex. " The right

person will be willing to help you out to make you feel comfy. My fiance

and I

are both disabled but still have an active and healthy sex life in my

opinion.

So I wouldn't say sex is not in the cards for you. If you find the right

person, there's nothing wrong w/experimenting w/your sexual side. It's

natural for God's sake!

Kimi

PS Where are you from?

In a message dated 12/30/2005 3:32:36 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

deepatarzan@... writes:

hI Kimi,ALana, MEg,and all

Im back to ask all u people a taboo stuff..or atleast

i feel it to be a taboo..for me.

I get my minds open when peoples opnion bout it...and

please dont feel bad bout wat im gonna say and

ask...its just taut of sharing my views to u people.

" SmA women and SeX "

Being a SMA gal i feel when it comes to sex, i feel im

not right person for it. since sex if full of action

generally..i feel awful that action and me are not

that connected

Yup i have never had once till time ...even thou its

like a no word for my mind.

MY QUESTION WUD BE... IS IT OK TO HAV SEX,WHEN U PLAY

A LIL ROLE IN DOIN STUFFS[ ] SORRY ...?

OR EVEN TO HAV SEX..IS IT TO BE PLANNED FOR OUR

COMFORT?

Please let me kno wat u people thing bout it..if its ok..

Love u

December 31, 2005

Hormones change, just like the weather. It's easy to just give in to

them rather than practicing self-control and discipline. Just turn on

tv or open a magazine, sex is every where. It seems like every one is

doing it - perhaps this may contribute to the high divorce rate and

people cheating on each other and unfaithfullness.

Waiting for marriage (or in the case for us on disability financial

support than often decreases when you get married) deeply commited

relationship is much better in the long run. If I am struggling with

my self-image and my sexual side, if I know my partner and I have

saved ourselves, we can be sure that we aren't comparing each other

with people we've been with before or thinking that I am not good enough.

This belief is so contrary to the majority. Look at the pain people

deal with when they find their partner sleeping with someone else. If

I can't discipline myself to wait for that committed relationship, how

can I maintain that faithfullness when the hormones rage again, or

relationships go through difficult times and someone else catches my

eye, and a million other scenarios.

I will refrain from this topic cuz this list is about SMA. I had to

express contrary opinions to what is being expressed by many on the list.

Lori

>

> people should definitely follow their hearts while paying attention

> to their hormones.

>

December 31, 2005

me too.

PurplGurl3@... wrote:

Thanks for sharing your beliefs, Lori. Just for the record, I agree with

you.

-e

In a message dated 12/31/2005 6:17:04 P.M. Pacific Standard Time,

LKMartz@... writes: