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Re: Murder at Krogers

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Groan.... :) Good one. You still have Krogers? I remember we had them years ago when I was a kid. It was Krambo's then Kroger Krambo's then they just disappeared, from the midwest anyway. -dz-

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I have looked at this posting for a while thinking that I didn't

want to read about some nut going crazy at the local Kroger. Since

we're more relaxed in our house tonight after the biopsy I

thought " why not " . I am so glad I did. Cute laugh. Thanks.

Hey, think Artie has a brother/cousin here in the Dallas area. I'm

sure we could scare up a couple bucks if he could hold down the doc

while Shane and I show him what a liver biopsy feels like.

Ya'll enjoy your Friday night!

Jen

> Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage,

a

> > > young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a

large

> > > insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary,

and

> > > arranging to have her killed.

> > >

> > > A " friend of a friend " put him in touch with a nefarious

underworld

> > > figure who went by the name of " Artie. "

> > >

> > > Artie explained to the husband that his going price for

snuffing out a

> > > spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that

amount

> > > but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could

collect his

> > > wife's insurance money.

> > >

> > > Artie insisted on being paid something up front. The man

opened up his

> > > wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.

> > >

> > > Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to

accept the

> > > dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

> > >

> > > A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local

Kroger gr!

> > > ocery store. There, he surprised her in the produce department

and

> > > proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands.

> > >

> > > As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and

slumped to the

> > > floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled

unexpectedly onto

> > > the scene.

> > >

> > > Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice

but to

> > > strangle the produce manager as well.

> > >

> > > Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by

hidden cameras

> > > and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately

called the

> > > police.

> > >

> > > Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store.

> > >

> > > Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie

revealed the

> > > sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the

hapless

> > > husband.

> > >

> > > DRUM ROLL (PAUSE) Go all the way to the end!!!!!

> > >

> > >

> > > And that is why, the next day in the newspaper,

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > the headline declared

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ready?

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ok, here it is

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > " ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT KROGERS "

>

> OLD IS WHEN...a sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker

opens the

> garage door.

>

> Eddie

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