FEELING ALONE

[Guest guest]

Dear Feeling Alone,

What you are going through, even though it can be miserable at times is

pretty normal for any major disease, especially when chronic pain is

involved. First of all you don’t sound stupid. Almost all of us have been

in your shoes at one time or another. I’m sure there are a lot of people

feeling like you are right now and aren’t sure how to get help. For some

reason, when our shoulder hurts we go to the doctor, but when our mental

health is involved, everyone waits as long as possible before talking to the

doctor about it. I did the same thing, so I can understand how you feel. I

also shut myself off from people. I felt like all I had to say was bad news

and soon everyone was going to get really tired of me anyway. Finding this

group is a big help. When you are really frustrated or feeling on edge you

can reach out to everyone on this support group. Not everyone is going to

respond, but I’m sure you will get a lot of emails back just from your first

email to the group.

You are dealing with 3 major problems and the easiest thing to do is just

deal with the problem that is most painful. For me, I had to get my pain

under control, so I ended up in pain management. I remember how I hated it

the first day and how blamed my family doctor for not being able to actually

treat me. I felt like he was pushing me off on someone else. Now I know

that going to a pain specialist probably saved my life. Once we got the

pain under control, I could start to take care of some of my other problems.

It took sometime, but we finally got it where I felt like I had my life back

somewhat. I still am not able to work, drive, or even do hardly anything

around the house. But I wasn’t in horrible pain before and even though I

have pain now, it’s not as bad as it used to be.

For the depression, antidepressants helped me, even though my doctor said

they would help decrease the pain. I found out that’s true as well, so a

lot of people who take these drugs take them for reasons other than

depression. But it would be a good place for you to start, and then talking

to a pain counselor might be really helpful too. Mine helped me learn some

relaxation methods and we are still planning to start a session of

biofeedback. So there is hope, ok, just don’t give up. I know it’s hard

when you feel all alone, in pain and depressed, but things can and do get

better.

As far as shutting your family out of your problems, well helping out in

times of need is what families are for. Sometimes it helps to just educate

them, since they really don’t understand our disease at all. Several times

I had my husband come in with me to talk to the doctor, and he always seemed

to learn something about my disease, and it increased his compassion for me

as well. I guess hearing it from a doctor makes a difference sometimes.

Would you boyfriend go with you? I hope so. All of this can be pretty hard

on a relationship.

I don’t know if my email was of any help, but feel free to write me anytime

ok? You really aren’t alone and don’t give up hope. Hope was and still is

the only thing that keeps me going on bad days. Just stay in touch with the

group and you won’t feel so alone.

Take care and it really can get better. Sincerely, Fran

Hi I am new to this so sorry if I sound stupid. I am a 27 year old

female with psoriasis who has recently been diagnosed with pa,

fibromialga and depression, and to be honest right now I feel alone.

My mums their as always but I don't want to burden her with how I feel

my boyfriend doesn't understand and well I've basically shut my self

off from veryone else. I think I need help. My doctor is great and

takes the time to listen to me but i would appreciate any feelings for

fighting the blues.

_____