Older Then Dirt...

[Guest guest]

Hey Mom, " one of my kids asked the other day, " What was your favorite fast food

when you were growing up? "

" We didn't have fast food when I was growing up, " I informed him. " All the food

was slow. "

" C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat? "

" It was a place called 'at home,' " I explained. " Grandma cooked every day and

when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table,

and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I

did like it. "

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer

serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have

permis sion to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told

him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course,

traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had

something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears

Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck

anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never

had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only

had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 10,

but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but

they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was

blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third

was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding

across someone's lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front

of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called " pizza pie. " When I bit

into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down,

plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza

I ever had.

We had only one car in our family. My grandfather called his Ford a " machine. "

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the

living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen

and make sure some people you didn 't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers, six

days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. Je had to

get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from

his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and

told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who

seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies.

Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they

didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French

movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share

some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me

if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend:

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he

brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with

a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no

idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew

it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to " sprinkle " clothes

with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.

Ignition switches on the dashboard.

Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.

Real ice boxes.

Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.

Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.

Us ing hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were

told about Ratings at the bottom.

1. Blackjack chewing gum

2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water

3. Candy cigarettes

4 Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles

5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes

6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers

7. Party lines

8. Newsreels before the movie

9. P.F. Flyers

10. Butch wax

11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)

12. Peashooters

13. Howdy Doody

14. 45 RPM records

15. S & H Green Stamps

16. Hi-fi's

17 Metal ice trays with lever

18. Mimeograph paper

19. Blue flashbulb

20. Packards

21. Roller skate keys

22. Cork popguns

23. Drive-ins

24. Studebakers

25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young

If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older

If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,

If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my life.

Don't forget to pass this along!!

Especially to all your really OLD friends....

=====

" Seni lity Prayer " ...God grant me...

The senility to forget the people I never liked

The good fortune to run in to the ones that I do

And the eyesight to tell the difference. "

Have a great week!!!

Love and Peace Always

Shaun and Barb