Re: Frustrated:

[Guest guest]

If you are getting sick from the Mtx. you might want to try

injections. It is a lot easier on your stomach. I have had better

results with it than the pill form. I also take Humira with it and I

have seen a vast improvment although I still am tired and stiff, but

the pain in now tollerable and I only need a minor pain pill a day.

I think eventually things will get under control. You need the right

combo of meds and a a lessoning of your flare up and you will feel

much better. Hang in there. Something will eventually work just

don't give up. It sounds like you have a careful doctor and that is a

good thing. I took me about 4 months to get under control, but now

that I am I feel much better. Just be patient, your rhuemy probably

wants to be absoutely certain the meds aren't working before your

meds are increased, I know that's what mine did.

All I can say is things will get better. You need to learn to take

advanage of your good days and slow down on your bad. I admit, I

cry a bit too especially on my bad days, but you have to play with

what your dealt. I won't lie, it takes some life adjustments and

getting used to and you will find that people don't quite understand

your battle. I'm lucky I have a wonderful fiance who takes care of me

when I'm not feeling well and understands when I'm tired. I take what

pleasures I can a make the most of it.

>

> I have been in pain waiting for my next line of treatment. My doc

put

> me on Methotrexate and I have been sick to my stomach most of the

> week. My current flare isn't getting better, not to mention pain

> relief too. I am taking Ultram ER for pain daily now. Thank God

for

> Ultram ER. When I told my doc about getting sick to my stomach

since

> taking MTX, she gave me a prescription for Folic Acid. It has

helped

> some. The reason I'm frustrated is since I went to my doc I

thought I

> would get the next line of treatment. She wants to wait to see how

I

> deal with taking MTX and Folic Acid together before she gives me the

> 2x weekly MTX. I also sweat and feel like I have a low grade at

> different times during the week.

>

> My middle finger is bent down and will no longer straighten out on a

> flat surface. The doc wants me to get therapy on it. I'm not so

sure

> therapy will help it. I use my hand and finger all the time. I'm

> afraid the therapist will want to force it open. Years ago my

mother

> had a frozen shoulder, and they reset it. She said it hurt so

much.

> I can't deal with any more pain on top of what I already have now.

>

> I'm 43 years old, thinking how am I going to live to be 80 years old

> like this? I cry and go on. I cry for the loss of what I can't do,

> and what I do, it hurts like hell some days. Lately it's been most

> days. How do I get my perspective back in line to deal with this

> horrible chronic disease. Dealing with this disease is a battle

> because the pain is constant.

>

> Thanks for letting me vent!

> Rhonda

>

[Guest guest]

Rhonda...First off, I'm a praying woman and I'm praying for you. Secondly, stick

up for what you feel that you need and VENT to your doctor. I acted so brave for

the first year and a half of my diagnosis that my doctor was not able to gage

how I was really doing. Now I cry to her if I need to. And I just gave myself my

first Enbrel injection 15 minutes ago! My first one. I can't believe it. I can't

beleive my life lead me to a point where I would need to give myself a shot in

hopes of walking normally again. But here I am. I thank God for Ultracet. I take

it an hour before I get up each morning and then go back to sleep. It makes

getting up much easier. It wears off long before it should but I am thankful for

the time that it works. You WILL have to put alot of effort into gaining your

perspective back. You will have to force yourself to do some things that might

not come easily right now. You will have to MAKE yourself name 5 things that you

are thankful for each time you

think of ONE thing that you cannot do. I spend the whole day saying stupid

stuff like " Thank you that I can still wipe my butt " . " Thank you that I can

still hug my daughter " . " Thank you that I can still type " I miss writing. I

loved the feel of a pen in my hand. But I can type. Sometimes that hurts too but

I can do it. " I'm thankful that I can feel the warmth of the water in a hot

bath " . What if I could not feel it? What if I could not smell the lavender soap?

One day I stared up at a tree and just to be a smart ass, I said " Thank you for

that leaf and that leaf and that one and that one and that one........ " and I

went on and on until I was laughing my tail off. Wonder what the neigbors

thought? You'll have to make yourself be thankful. If you want it badly enough,

there will be people who you will cross paths with who will make you feel

grateful for what you DO have. They are all around you already if you look

closely. And you know that you can ask your doctor for

something for depression if you cannot pull yourself out of it. There are lots

of postive people on this site and I bet most of us positive folk have taken

something for depression at least once in our lives. It comes with this disease

so don't be afraid to ask for help in that respect. Meanwhile, all I can say is

the 5 things you are thankful for routine did wonders for me. And I did not

believe it would. Now it's a part of my lifestyle and a part of my daughters as

well. It seems too simple to work but that's how life is sometimes. I have two

friends who are in wheel chairs. They keep me in check. If you have time to do

some volunteer work...even if you are in pain...that might help. But if it's too

bad to do that then start forcing the thankfulness. And I think it's ok to vent

on here. As long as you don't mind strangers like me who know your pain but know

nothing else of your life giving you suggestions. Oh...and the only reason I was

not put on Methotrexate is because

I have a blood disorder that effects my liver so we decided to hold off on it

and see if the Enbrel will work on it's own. So what are the first 5 things you

are thankful for? Hugs and prayers, Betz

cranefamily6 <cranefamily6@...> wrote: I have been in pain waiting for my

next line of treatment. My doc put

me on Methotrexate and I have been sick to my stomach most of the

week. My current flare isn't getting better, not to mention pain

relief too. I am taking Ultram ER for pain daily now. Thank God for

Ultram ER. When I told my doc about getting sick to my stomach since

taking MTX, she gave me a prescription for Folic Acid. It has helped

some. The reason I'm frustrated is since I went to my doc I thought I

would get the next line of treatment. She wants to wait to see how I

deal with taking MTX and Folic Acid together before she gives me the

2x weekly MTX. I also sweat and feel like I have a low grade at

different times during the week.

My middle finger is bent down and will no longer straighten out on a

flat surface. The doc wants me to get therapy on it. I'm not so sure

therapy will help it. I use my hand and finger all the time. I'm

afraid the therapist will want to force it open. Years ago my mother

had a frozen shoulder, and they reset it. She said it hurt so much.

I can't deal with any more pain on top of what I already have now.

I'm 43 years old, thinking how am I going to live to be 80 years old

like this? I cry and go on. I cry for the loss of what I can't do,

and what I do, it hurts like hell some days. Lately it's been most

days. How do I get my perspective back in line to deal with this

horrible chronic disease. Dealing with this disease is a battle

because the pain is constant.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Rhonda

[Guest guest]

I wanted to add that I am having a procedure done on my middle

finger (I believe I have the same problem as " Cranefamily6 " - the

middle finger that won't straighten up). I have therapy on it, and

it did absolutely no good. So the surgeon is going to do what he

calls a " closed manipulation " to attempt to straighten it out.

Anesthetic will be administered and he will manually " rupture " (his

word, not mine) the ligaments that are preventing the finger from

opening and then he will inject steroid into each side of the joint

(PIP joint). This is supposed to soften them. Then he will splint

the finger (it will be straight at this point) and after two weeks,

I will start therapy to bend it again normally (only this time, it

won't " stay " bent). The surgeon said if this doesn't work, then he

will have to go in and do " real " surgery (not a closed manipulation

procedure) to loosen up whatever is being stubborn in there.

I have suffered with this finger ever since I had a horrible flare

last year where my fingers swelled up like sausages, and it's been

this way ever since. The other fingers went back to their normal

(or close) size, but this one just never would straighten out.

If you like, I will report back after the procedure and let you know

how it went. I have been scared to death that the condition of this

finger will eventually affect the job I love, so I felt that I had

to do something about it. It's so embarrassing to stand in front

of people while giving a speech and raise two fingers and only one

and a half fingers really go up. It happened today....and I wanted

to cry. I sure hope this procedure is successful.

>

> cranefamily6 <cranefamily6@...> wrote: I have been in pain

waiting for my next line of treatment. My doc put

> me on Methotrexate and I have been sick to my stomach most of the

> week. My current flare isn't getting better, not to mention pain

> relief too. I am taking Ultram ER for pain daily now. Thank God

for

> Ultram ER. When I told my doc about getting sick to my stomach

since

> taking MTX, she gave me a prescription for Folic Acid. It has

helped

> some. The reason I'm frustrated is since I went to my doc I

thought I

> would get the next line of treatment. She wants to wait to see

how I

> deal with taking MTX and Folic Acid together before she gives me

the

> 2x weekly MTX. I also sweat and feel like I have a low grade at

> different times during the week.

>

> My middle finger is bent down and will no longer straighten out on

a

> flat surface. The doc wants me to get therapy on it. I'm not so

sure

> therapy will help it. I use my hand and finger all the time. I'm

> afraid the therapist will want to force it open. Years ago my

mother

> had a frozen shoulder, and they reset it. She said it hurt so

much.

> I can't deal with any more pain on top of what I already have

now.

>

> I'm 43 years old, thinking how am I going to live to be 80 years

old

> like this? I cry and go on. I cry for the loss of what I can't

do,

> and what I do, it hurts like hell some days. Lately it's been

most

> days. How do I get my perspective back in line to deal with this

> horrible chronic disease. Dealing with this disease is a battle

> because the pain is constant.

>

> Thanks for letting me vent!

> Rhonda

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Rhonda,

How are you doing now? Has the MTX started helping or is there no change

since you posted this?

I think we all go through these periods of being down to a greater or lesser

degree. It doesn't last long with me. I find not being happy too stressful.

lol I hope you are feeling a bit better about things now. You know you can vent

here at any time.

Are you going to have the therapy on your finger or are you just going to

wait to see how it goes?

Take care,

In a message dated 30/05/2006 23:45:32 GMT Daylight Time,

cranefamily6@... writes:

I'm 43 years old, thinking how am I going to live to be 80 years old

like this? I cry and go on. I cry for the loss of what I can't do,

and what I do, it hurts like hell some days. Lately it's been most

days. How do I get my perspective back in line to deal with this

horrible chronic disease. Dealing with this disease is a battle

because the pain is constant.