Newbie

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone. Hope you all had a Very Merry Christmas. Well I just

found this group and joined right away so let me introduce myself. I

am 47 years old and was diagnosed with PA in late 1999. I had been

having problems for about a year at that time and had gotton to the

point where I could barely move my body without something hurting.

It seemed even my eyelashes hurt when I would blink. I was refered

to my first rheumatologist in early 2000 but that one didn't work

out at all. My second was great but about halfway into 2002 she

became very ill herself and had to leave her practice so now I am on

number three who was actually a good friend of #2 and she is working

out very well also. Believe it or not she actually talks to me. She

goes over everything at each visit, gives me a few options that SHE

would be comfortable with if any changes need to be made and lets ME

make the final decisions. After going through many Rx. Vioxx,

Celebrex, Prednisone, MTX, Arava, ETC... (I'm sure you all know what

I'm talking about there)I have now been on Enbrel for one year & 2

months. I have had such good results with it that it is sometimes

hard to believe. I still have some very bad days but I guess we all

do and for the most part things are going ok. I do still have to

take prednisone but at a very low dose and I also see a chronic pain

specialist who keeps the pain breakthroughs under fair control.

Everyday it seems I think of something I would like to learn more

about so now I guess I have found a place to get some answers from

people with actual experience. Personally I feel that no matter how

good a doctor is or how hard a family member or friend tries to

understand that unless they have PA and are dealing with the

symptoms not only physical but also mental they really can't truly

understand. I have had days where I became so depressed that I just

didn't want to wake up and my family would tell me " you can't let it

get you down you have got to keep fighting " Well I know all that but

to be perfectly honest that's not what I want to hear sometimes.

They think I have started to give up if I just give into my misery

for a few minutes. It can really wear you down sometimes or at least

it does me. If they only realized that on all of those really good &

happy days that I seem to have I am fighting tooth and nail. I will

never give up as long as I have the strength to fight this disease

but for crying out loud, Just let me have a minor breakdown once in

a while without thinking I'm throwing in the towel. Does anybody

else out there feel that way?

~Tired in Tennessee