behavior help

[Guest guest]

While you might find you need to look for more intense help, there ARE some

things you can be doing at home to help ease some of the stress she is

feeling. First, try not to get into a conflict with her. She has a reason

for having a bad day at school...and she can't get away with it, but at this

point, I think I would just stop and look at where the behaviors are coming

from and let some pass. I would ignore as much as you can and show lots of

affection, support and love whenever possible. I would stay away from going

to Blockbuster if she isn't going to get a movie and you know this is going

to upset her. Under normal circumstances, this might be the way to do it,

but not now.

Talk to her about...... " I know you are feeling mad...and that's OK.. you can

feel mad,,,you just can't hit. " Or..... " I see you are angry and wanting to

hit something...let's hit this pillow. I'll do it 3 times, then YOU can do

it three times. " . Make sure she gets plenty of physical outlets..go for a

run, do jumping jacks, jump on the trampoline..it does wonders for stress

reduction.

These are just some ideas that you can play around with at home. You should

also check around for therapists who work on a sliding scale fee.. you can

find some good ones that way. Or check with your DDD casemanager and see if

they have someone on staff who can help you through this time.

I know it is HARD...but just remember she is feeling LOTS of anger,

frustration and confusion right now and she needs to be comforted and not

confronted. Avoid as much as you can that is going to need some combat..and

create lots of success and positive times for her.

Ok..just my 2 cents.......hope something in there makes sense and helps.

M.

[Guest guest]

I don't have any legal expertise, but it seems logical that the court might

eventually order the " culprit " (trying to be nice) to pay for therapy. In

the mean time, it wouldn't hurt to document what she is doing each day, ask

her teacher to document behaviors, and ask the officials pursuing the case

if they want to have her checked by a mental health professional (at their

expense, of course!)

, does this seem like a logical procedure?

Bev

Behavior help

As many of you know, we've had some major problems here lately. Karrie's

behavior is reflecting all this mess, I am afraid.

I need help on what to do. I'm at a loss. She is hitting, kicking, spitting,

slapping and scratching. She doubles her fist and shakes it, screaming and

red in the face. She was evidently awful at school for the past 2 days.

I'm not able to think clearly tonight. When we went to Blockbusters tonight,

I didn't let her get a movie, telling her she was not very nice at school

and latchkey. She promptly wet her pants. I can't afford a therapist

(counselor) for her. I don't even know where to start....

Help......

Sue mom to Kate 13 and Karrie 6 w/ds

[Guest guest]

HI,

Well after 2 years of begging, we finally got our docs to order all the

yeast, bacteria and parasite tests, Our daughter has major yeast issues and

is currently going thru a major yeast detox thru our DAN. The first 4 days

were total bliss, a loving calm polite child we have never seen before,

but the last 5 days are absolutely mind altering. I am going thru these

guilt ridden states of why did I ever have this child? I feel horrible

about it, but I am being honest.

I know it is die off, and we are using activated charcoal. But she is 6,

and has the biggest mouth right now, absolutely no discipline works, she

is hitting , spitting, and just has horrible back talk. And nothing we do

works. She won't stop talking, grunting, making noises, yelling,

screaming. You name it.. She is PDD-NOS, ADHD, is on GF/CF/EF dye free

etc. she takes Houston enzymes, magnesium calm 3 times a day, What

behaviorally can I do to help control this, I cannot be a prisoner in my

home, with having other children that also have lives. My husband works

all 2nd shift, so I am the taxi----Please help, I don't know what to do

with her..

Jen

[Guest guest]

> Well after 2 years of begging, we finally got our docs to order all the

> yeast, bacteria and parasite tests, Our daughter has major yeast issues and

> is currently going thru a major yeast detox thru our DAN. The first 4 days

> were total bliss, a loving calm polite child we have never seen before,

> but the last 5 days are absolutely mind altering.

What does the yeast protocol look like?

> I know it is die off, and we are using activated charcoal.

Do you give the charcoal 45 minutes after the anti-fungals?

>>But she is 6,

> and has the biggest mouth right now, absolutely no discipline works, she

> is hitting , spitting, and just has horrible back talk. And nothing we do

> works.

Sometimes this is die off, other times it is intolerance to the anti-fungals,

other times it is overgrowth of bad bacteria, and other times it is liver

stress.

Dana

[Guest guest]

Oh hon I am so sorry. We've all been there...i 'm there quite often actually:)

Try to remember that the behaviors she's having aren't bad behavior. They are

the result of an illness that she can't help. Try to let go of the anger towards

her, and let yourself off the hook. It isn't anything you did or didn't do as a

parent that has her acting this way. She's sick. When a Doctor finally told me

that for some reason it got a lot easier to handle my son. I'm not saying it

always helps... if you're being sworn at, spit at and tortured all day long it's

a miracle if you don't get angry. But just try to take a deep breath and let it

go. This is die off...it sucks! It won't last much longer honestly. Afterwards

you won't believe the child who emerges. She's also at an age where she'll start

to behave a little better just because of gaining maturity. My son was a living

nightmare from the time he turned 2 until he was 10. He's still a nightmare at

times, but we've got about 70% or more peace time. My daughter with ASD is

completely different. She was a nightmare from 10 months until she was four.

Then she was the sweetest angel until puberty hit high gear two years ago. Her

period started a year ago. Now she's an angel until it's time for her cycle. You

mentioned that you're the taxi....does this mean you have to drive the kids to a

lot of places every day? The car has always been a problem for my son. I spend

most of my time single parenting b/c myhusband is a pilot. So when I have to

bring my son along for taxi time I try to do things that help calm him in the

car. The start of that is preparing him by telling him " we're going to drive to

bla bla bla...we'll be in the car for bla bla bla. I know you have a hard time

with driving around everywhere, but let's do some things to help you feel

better " . Then the trick is finding out what is causing her the problems , and

what can comfort her. With my son I think it's just simply too much imput...the

sound from the car , the radio, the air conditioner, the light if it's sunny ,

the different smell when the car's hot or whatever, and the movement of the car.

These are all things that I know bug him. For the movement I put a towel or

blanket under him. I explained why to him, and it seems to do the trick. If the

problem is with holdng still you can get those pilates bands or tension tube

bands and show her how to use them.Make a game of it by giving one to another

kid and saying " see who can do 10 stretches " or whatever. Or " guys watch how

strong 'Daughter' is, she can do so many of these stretches " . For the light,

baseball hat and sunglasses. We've got light shades on the windows, but

brightness still seeps around the edges and of course through the windsheild.

For the noises it depends on the day for us. Sometimes he needs quiet, so we use

etymotic ear plugs. You can buy those for cheap at Walmart and Target, they're

called Heros and they look like weird rubber gill things. My son uses them in

school too...you can here people talking to you, but it cuts out extra noise.

For days that he doesn't need quiet he likes to use his ipod shuffle. You can

get shuffles for just about the same price as cheap mp3 players now. I recommend

the shuffle b/c we went through the mp3 players pretty quickly.They tend to

break a lot. We've had the shuffles for three years and two major road trips,

and they're still in top shape. A snack can also go a long way in distracting

her attention. Ice water in a spillproof sipee cup incase she's a thrower... all

my kids know if they want a drink in the car or in their room it's in a sipee

cup. Hang in there, this will get better. Have you tried the epsom baths to help

with the die off symptoms? They help a lot. Talk to your other kids and explain

that your daughter has a special brain that doesn't work the same way as theirs.

That she loves them even though she doesn't act like it sometimes, and that

she's going to get better. e-mail me anytime. I'm so familiar with this behavior

and your feelings about it

[Guest guest]

See Below, I did also forget to mention that she ALWAYS had a huge

Ethiopian belly, that is starting to go away, so again that screams yeast

for me.....

Re: behavior help

> Well after 2 years of begging, we finally got our docs to order all the

> yeast, bacteria and parasite tests, Our daughter has major yeast issues

and

> is currently going thru a major yeast detox thru our DAN. The first 4

days

> were total bliss, a loving calm polite child we have never seen before,

> but the last 5 days are absolutely mind altering.

What does the yeast protocol look like? ******** 3 GSE DROPS 3 X DAY, 1000

BIOTIN DAILY, CANDIDASE, VIRASTOP, AND THREELAC PROBIOTICS AT NIGHT THIS

WAS OUR REGULAR ROUTINE, THEN ADDED DIFLUCAN LIQUID, AND HOMEOPATHIC DROPS

BEFORE BREAKFASNT AND BED ON EMPTY STOMACH...********.

> I know it is die off, and we are using activated charcoal.

Do you give the charcoal 45 minutes after the anti-fungals? *****YES*****,

>>But she is 6,

> and has the biggest mouth right now, absolutely no discipline works, she

> is hitting , spitting, and just has horrible back talk. And nothing we

do

> works.

Sometimes this is die off, other times it is intolerance to the

anti-fungals, other times it is overgrowth of bad bacteria, and other times

it is liver stress. *******AND HOW DO WE FIGURE THIS OUT? UNLESS WE STOP

EVERYTHING AGAIN? THEN SHE GETS YEAST INFECTIONS BACK, MORE SKIN BREAK

OUTS...AND WE ARE SEEING LOTS OF COTTAGE CHEESE LIKE WHITE STUFF COMING OUT

IN POOPS.*******

Dana

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Yes, we do Epsom salt baths nightly. And my daughter is a major social

bug, actually scares kids since she just does not get the whole personal

space thing. The car is no issue, since we correct the B-6 impbalance,

no more sensory to lights in stores or sunshine. She is just in your face

HERE I AM AND YOU BETTER TALK TO ME OR I WON'T LEAVE YOU ALONE TYPE OF

CHILD.. None of my 10 yrs old son's friends will come to our house,

because she scares them to death. Licking them, hitting, stripping, you

name it, I swear if I got her a pole, she would win the Olympic gold for

pole dancing. And we do not watch TV, but for sesame street and between the

Lions. We don't go to movies nothing, she is in Kindergarten, and is so

eroctically moved. It is so embarrassing...WE have found her humping our

sofa arms, playing with herself in bed. And I don't mean occasionally,

but often. I know it is yeast....Yes it is frustrating beyond belief,

but I don't know what to do, none of my family will keep her, they are

scared to death, or they work all day long. My parents are 80 so that is

out of the question, and her tss only has 15 , THANK GOD hours--to give

me a break. And it takes her and the BSC to keep her under control due

to stranger danger and her impulsiveness to dart in traffic or away from

them.... 5 years is really wearing on me, and I just don't know how much

longer I can do it. My husband avoids her like the plague, because he

just cannot accept it, she is up all night screaming and none of us are

sleeping. We have done all the melatonin, magnesium, baths, you name it ,

we have done it, but when she hits these yeasty major states. Forget it,

it is HELL for 3-4 days, but this one is really lasting....

Re: behavior help

Oh hon I am so sorry. We've all been there...i 'm there quite often

actually:) Try to remember that the behaviors she's having aren't bad

behavior. They are the result of an illness that she can't help. Try to let

go of the anger towards her, and let yourself off the hook. It isn't

anything you did or didn't do as a parent that has her acting this way.

She's sick. When a Doctor finally told me that for some reason it got a lot

easier to handle my son. I'm not saying it always helps... if you're being

sworn at, spit at and tortured all day long it's a miracle if you don't get

angry. But just try to take a deep breath and let it go. This is die

off...it sucks! It won't last much longer honestly. Afterwards you won't

believe the child who emerges. She's also at an age where she'll start to

behave a little better just because of gaining maturity. My son was a living

nightmare from the time he turned 2 until he was 10. He's still a nightmare

at times, but we've got about 70% or more peace

time. My daughter with ASD is completely different. She was a nightmare

from 10 months until she was four. Then she was the sweetest angel until

puberty hit high gear two years ago. Her period started a year ago. Now

she's an angel until it's time for her cycle. You mentioned that you're the

taxi....does this mean you have to drive the kids to a lot of places every

day? The car has always been a problem for my son. I spend most of my time

single parenting b/c myhusband is a pilot. So when I have to bring my son

along for taxi time I try to do things that help calm him in the car. The

start of that is preparing him by telling him " we're going to drive to bla

bla bla...we'll be in the car for bla bla bla. I know you have a hard time

with driving around everywhere, but let's do some things to help you feel

better " . Then the trick is finding out what is causing her the problems ,

and what can comfort her. With my son I think it's just simply too much

imput...the sound from the car , the

radio, the air conditioner, the light if it's sunny , the different smell

when the car's hot or whatever, and the movement of the car. These are all

things that I know bug him. For the movement I put a towel or blanket under

him. I explained why to him, and it seems to do the trick. If the problem is

with holdng still you can get those pilates bands or tension tube bands and

show her how to use them.Make a game of it by giving one to another kid and

saying " see who can do 10 stretches " or whatever. Or " guys watch how strong

'Daughter' is, she can do so many of these stretches " . For the light,

baseball hat and sunglasses. We've got light shades on the windows, but

brightness still seeps around the edges and of course through the

windsheild. For the noises it depends on the day for us. Sometimes he needs

quiet, so we use etymotic ear plugs. You can buy those for cheap at Walmart

and Target, they're called Heros and they look like weird rubber gill

things. My son uses them in school

too..you can here people talking to you, but it cuts out extra noise. For

days that he doesn't need quiet he likes to use his ipod shuffle. You can

get shuffles for just about the same price as cheap mp3 players now. I

recommend the shuffle b/c we went through the mp3 players pretty

quickly.They tend to break a lot. We've had the shuffles for three years and

two major road trips, and they're still in top shape. A snack can also go a

long way in distracting her attention. Ice water in a spillproof sipee cup

incase she's a thrower... all my kids know if they want a drink in the car

or in their room it's in a sipee cup. Hang in there, this will get better.

Have you tried the epsom baths to help with the die off symptoms? They help

a lot. Talk to your other kids and explain that your daughter has a special

brain that doesn't work the same way as theirs. That she loves them even

though she doesn't act like it sometimes, and that she's going to get

better. e-mail me anytime. I'm so

familiar with this behavior and your feelings about it

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

My heart really goes out to you on this. I know what it's like to have a child

who is a tormenter to all. My daughter's would bring friends over and my son

would literally charge them scremaing at the top of his lungs " get out of my

house! " . It took us a very long time to get him to break that habbit. He still

does it when his yeast gets high or he's got some other symptom going on. He

used to have me in tears many times a day every day. I'm happy to report he only

makes me cry about once a week or so now;) It really will get better. You can

make it through this. One day she'll be better and she'll know how much you love

her and how hard you worked for her. Have you tried a change of scenery for the

bad behavior? The alst thing i wanted to do was leave the hosue when my son is

acting up, but just saying " hey wanna go for a walk " and walking for five

minutes is enough to change the direction of the behavior sometimes. If that

doesn't work, go into the bathroom or somewhere they can't hear you and cuss a

blue streak;) Ignore the erotic behavior unless it's extremely inapropriate.Then

just say 'that's private you need to go in your room if you're going to do

that'. Eventually she'll outgrow that. in the mean time she could be doing it

more than she would if she thinks it's bothering you. I know what hell you're

living in. I know this is the hardest thing ever, but I promise it will get

better. I honestly think I have PTSD from the worst years with my two. I'm

starting counseling soon to deal with that. Maybe you could try some counseling

just to get yourself some relief from the stress

[Guest guest]

If he is also exhibiting similar behaviors at school, you can ask a multidisciplinary team (OT, speech, psychologist, teachers, social workers, etc.) at the school to perform a FBA (Functional Behavior Assessment) and BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan) which can carry over into home life. This is covered under Special Education Law.

Also, have you contacted services that have wraparound aides? Oftentimes, these are covered, not only at school, but at least parttime in the home environment. These are often covered under insurance if need is determined, but, since they have less certification & education (but not necessarily less training, but you would need to check into who would be most qualified to work with your child, of course), this might be a more viable option at this time for your family since the wait list for these helpers is often shorter.

Also, since you are in Kentucky (and I've heard they have one of WORST support and educational systems for educating children with autism, from several parents on forums, plus extended family members through marriage that have kids with autism there), I would check into Bloomington's (Indiana, next state over--where I live) IRCA (Indiana Research Center for Autism) at Indiana University (part of the Indiana Institute on Disability and Community (IIDC). They have several good people there that are great at doing assessments and putting together a good plan of action for kids and adults with all functioning levels of autism.

Another good resource (especially if you need help with advocacy issues) is MAAP Services Inc. (out of IN, but they help people all over).

Also, if time outs and taking things away is not working so well, work on rewarding him, not only for when he controls himself and doesn't do an undesired behavior, but when you "catch him" doing something good, such as picking up his clothes without asking or being nice to the neighbor kid.

Good luck, and may God grant you the patience to get through this; it's worth it!

Vivace, 36yo mom with autism, ptsd, bipolar d/o, etc.,

Mother to Matt, 16yo (orig. dx with moderate to severe infantile/Kanner's autism and MiMH) [i was originally told not to expect too much from him. Yes, he is in a separate day school because of his impulse control and anxiety issues, etc. but he is doing mostly regular work--He will be a junior in HS next year. Btw, he got 4 As and 3 Bs on his report card this last nine weeks (taking English 10, Affective Education (teaches social skills, etc.), Basic Skills (extra help and practice class in areas of academic need), Algebra I, Integrated Chemistry and Physics, Technology (this semester was model car building), and Gym--sorry, but I have to brag a little, proud mom here

Posted by: "carol_jines" caroljines@... carol_jines

Thu May 31, 2012 10:44 am (PDT)

I'm in need of some tips/advice. DS is 7 and has been displaying some unsavory behavior to say the least. I'm finding that punishments that worked before are no longer working. Time-outs do not phase him at all and usually while in a time-out he will spout off with foul language that would make a sailor blush. I've been taking away toys, games, TV time and activities but he really seems unaffected by all of this and thus this behavior continues. Any new ideas on punishments or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. We have the waiver program here in KY but I keep getting told there are no supports for behavior issues at this time, or that the one person available has an incredibly long waiting list. Ugh!