it took thirteen years

[Guest guest]

Finally, last week, I got a firm diagnosis after THIRTEEN YEARS of

swollen, painful ankles, fatigue, and progressive joint problems. I

have known for about a year but my primary care doc dragged her feet

unbelievably until I finally said, " Look, I have psoriasis, swollen

and painful joints, and detaching toenails. I think this is psoriatic

arthritis and I think I need a rheumatologist. " SHe agreed, and three

months later (!) I got in to see a rheumy who is well-known for being

open to antibiotic therapy though not married to it. Not only did he

say I have PA, he said it's too far gone to wait for antibiotics to

work, and put me on MTX. He also is sending a snitty letter to my

primary care doc. But here's what gets me--I have had this for

thirteen years now, and have been either diagnosed with or tested

for: rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, depression, heavy-metal poisoning,

brain tumor, food allergies, Sjogren's, thyroid disease, degenerative

disk disease, and last but not least hypochondria. In all that time

and with all those docs, NOT ONE thought to say to me, " DO you have

psoriasis? " When I think of all the years I could have been getting

treatment it makes me cringe. And even more, when I think of the

joint damage that has been done already, I could just scream.

Meanwhile, I am now having a hard time staying calm, because I got a

message from my new rheumatologist's office saying something turned

up in my lab results and they need to talk to me, but of course when

I called, the doc wasn't in and won't be until later, so I have to

just sit here and try not to make up horrible terminal conditions for

myself.

I took my first dose of MTX on Saturday morning and was fine all day

Saturday, so I thought I was one of the lucky ones who don't get side

effects, but Sunday I hit a wall of fatigue and was itchy and

headachy all day, and still am. I take it these are normal side

effects but they sure suck. I am kind of hoping the message from the

rheumy will be that I can't take MTX after all because of some benign

condition, because I hate feeling this way, especially since it is

too soon for the MTX to have relieved the joint pain and stiffness

yet. So I have pain PLUS side effects. Oh yay.

Do these side effects go away, or can I just start planning my life

around them? I am SO tired of always planning my whole life around my

arthritis, and having to add in headaches and itching and more

fatigue is JUST NOT FAIR, dammit.

Sorry to go on such a rant but I am really stressing at the moment.