Re: Police were here this morning for attack to mom

[Guest guest]

Where do you live? Could you contact the school district, or even through the behavioralist and see if anyone near where you live offers Mandt training. This is a training that helps a person being attacked by teaching them ways to provide safe restraint until the child is back in control again. I have taken Mandt in the past and it has been very beneficial with my daughter.

From: marciawho_01 <marcial7777@...>Subject: ( ) Police were here this morning for attack to mom Date: Friday, February 5, 2010, 7:28 PM

I really feel like I am at a loss here. My 12 year old son woke up before 5 am to watch tv, when I came down I really dont like to hear the tv that early in the morning I sent him upstairs to watch till his aid came. When he came downstairs he immediatly started to whine about his father (I'm a single parent and his father is a dead beat dad) he wanted me to call him. His father is in yet another rehab and cannot have visitors letters or any contact for the rest of the month my son KNOWS this. He immediatly started to attack me yank my hair pull at my clothes and push me. I in turn immediatly tried to leave the area for "planned ignoring" as suggested by the behaviorist. Mind you I just had my son at the autism clinic on Tuesday morning and had his abilify bumped up in the evening so he may sleep better.( dont think thats working). He followed me around and tried to get into my room to attack me further until finally I had to call the police to get

him to calm down. I'm sittinghere waiting for a phone call from the autism clinic. I am reading the book the exposive child but have yet to get more than just an understanding of why he does this with delayed language and emotional pathways.. This after scratching the hell out of me on Saturday morning, I dont expect anyone to be able to help me but I just needed to vent and get it out to the group, I am tired of bieng attacked by my son. I tried to reason with him before he got to the point of attacking me by staying ultra calm but that did not help at all. Just wondered if anybody has any ideas.

[Guest guest]

I feel for ya! I don't really have a lot of experience(my ds is only 6 and

kinda small for his age). But I do understand about the deadbeat dad issue and

I totally feel for you and for your son. My son asks to see his dad and his dad

very rarely picks him up for visits and NEVER pays child support. His dad

doesn't understand how much consistency really does matter to these kids.

Thankfully his step dad is far more supportive, but I really feel for the kids

yours and mine. It is a shame that their fathers can't step up. As for the

police issue, I wish I could give you a big hug, it sounds like you need one.

And I wish I had more advice.

>

> I really feel like I am at a loss here. My 12 year old son woke up before 5

am to watch tv, when I came down I really dont like to hear the tv that early in

the morning I sent him upstairs to watch till his aid came. When he came

downstairs he immediatly started to whine about his father (I'm a single parent

and his father is a dead beat dad) he wanted me to call him. His father is in

yet another rehab and cannot have visitors letters or any contact for the rest

of the month my son KNOWS this. He immediatly started to attack me yank my hair

pull at my clothes and push me. I in turn immediatly tried to leave the area

for " planned ignoring " as suggested by the behaviorist. Mind you I just had my

son at the autism clinic on Tuesday morning and had his abilify bumped up in the

evening so he may sleep better.( dont think thats working). He followed me

around and tried to get into my room to attack me further until finally I had to

call the police to get him to calm down. I'm sittinghere waiting for a phone

call from the autism clinic. I am reading the book the exposive child but have

yet to get more than just an understanding of why he does this with delayed

language and emotional pathways.. This after scratching the hell out of me on

Saturday morning, I dont expect anyone to be able to help me but I just needed

to vent and get it out to the group, I am tired of bieng attacked by my son. I

tried to reason with him before he got to the point of attacking me by staying

ultra calm but that did not help at all. Just wondered if anybody has any

ideas.

>

[Guest guest]

Any boy your son's age needs and wants his dad around. Your son struggles to understand why dad isn't around. Hell, a nt boy would get pissed off at you, too. He needs a man in his life. Obviously I can't know all the issues, but from what you presented, your boy wants a dad figure. Is there an uncle, or grandpa around? Could you find a mentor program for him? You've got to be creative, but you've got to get a man in his life.

On Fri, Feb 5, 2010 at 2:28 PM, marciawho_01 <marcial7777@...> wrote:

 

I really feel like I am at a loss here. My 12 year old son woke up before 5 am to watch tv, when I came down I really dont like to hear the tv that early in the morning I sent him upstairs to watch till his aid came. When he came downstairs he immediatly started to whine about his father (I'm a single parent and his father is a dead beat dad) he wanted me to call him. His father is in yet another rehab and cannot have visitors letters or any contact for the rest of the month my son KNOWS this. He immediatly started to attack me yank my hair pull at my clothes and push me. I in turn immediatly tried to leave the area for " planned ignoring " as suggested by the behaviorist. Mind you I just had my son at the autism clinic on Tuesday morning and had his abilify bumped up in the evening so he may sleep better.( dont think thats working). He followed me around and tried to get into my room to attack me further until finally I had to call the police to get him to calm down. I'm sittinghere waiting for a phone call from the autism clinic. I am reading the book the exposive child but have yet to get more than just an understanding of why he does this with delayed language and emotional pathways.. This after scratching the hell out of me on Saturday morning, I dont expect anyone to be able to help me but I just needed to vent and get it out to the group, I am tired of bieng attacked by my son. I tried to reason with him before he got to the point of attacking me by staying ultra calm but that did not help at all. Just wondered if anybody has any ideas.

[Guest guest]

Thank you I have been trained to use a basket hold which has not been effective I will ask our behaviorist about Mandt training Thank you...I worry I'm going to fall on him or get hurt myself again in these scuffles.

Marcia

( ) Police were here this morning for attack to mom

Date: Friday, February 5, 2010, 7:28 PM

I really feel like I am at a loss here. My 12 year old son woke up before 5 am to watch tv, when I came down I really dont like to hear the tv that early in the morning I sent him upstairs to watch till his aid came. When he came downstairs he immediatly started to whine about his father (I'm a single parent and his father is a dead beat dad) he wanted me to call him. His father is in yet another rehab and cannot have visitors letters or any contact for the rest of the month my son KNOWS this. He immediatly started to attack me yank my hair pull at my clothes and push me. I in turn immediatly tried to leave the area for "planned ignoring" as suggested by the behaviorist. Mind you I just had my son at the autism clinic on Tuesday morning and had his abilify bumped up in the evening so he may sleep better.( dont think thats working). He followed me around and tried to get into my room to attack me further until finally I had to call the police to get

him to calm down. I'm sittinghere waiting for a phone call from the autism clinic. I am reading the book the exposive child but have yet to get more than just an understanding of why he does this with delayed language and emotional pathways.. This after scratching the hell out of me on Saturday morning, I dont expect anyone to be able to help me but I just needed to vent and get it out to the group, I am tired of bieng attacked by my son. I tried to reason with him before he got to the point of attacking me by staying ultra calm but that did not help at all. Just wondered if anybody has any ideas.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

As a child I did not know the reason of my anger, then I grew up and realized I was angry because I could not express my ideas and communicate t(even thougt I could speak)

Unability to communicate could cause anger out of frustration.

Does he has problem expressing himself? the fact that he was whining shows that he was already frustrated and trying to communicate something., but also you mention that he wanted to call his father..

Have you ever tried to enroll him in Martial art class? it can help with his anger and self discipline.

I disagree with the therapist, he has to let his feelings out, but he has to learn postive ways of doing that. He has to confront his own feelings and fears. Ignoring him is not a good idea, at least did not work with my aspie girl.

he can learn constructive method of communication. The problem is that he has to learn to understand his feelings and take those feelings and convert them into worlds, and then express those feelings in a constructive way.

does he feel remorse after he hit you?

My girl used to be violent toward me, she has improved a lot with therapy. She confronts her feelings and tries to express them to me. I try to keep control when she gets violent. I know that she gets violent because her ideas and thoughts are stuck and she can not let them out.

I understand how bad you feel. You should discuss with your therapist other approach to help him with his anger.

Believe me, it will get better with a good therapy and the right medicine.

Good luck.

( ) Police were here this morning for attack to mom Date: Friday, February 5, 2010, 7:28 PM I really feel like I am at a loss here. My 12 year old son woke up before 5 am to watch tv, when I came down I really dont like to hear the tv that early in the morning I sent him upstairs to watch till his aid came. When he came downstairs he immediatly started to whine about his father (I'm a single parent and his father is a dead beat dad) he wanted me to call him. His father is in yet another rehab and cannot have visitors letters or any contact for the rest of the month my son KNOWS this. He immediatly started to attack me yank my hair pull at my clothes and push me. I in turn immediatly tried to leave the area for "planned ignoring" as suggested by the behaviorist. Mind you I just had my son at the autism clinic on Tuesday morning and had his abilify bumped up in the evening so he may sleep better.( dont think thats working). He followed me around and tried to get into my room to attack me further until finally I had to call the police to get him to calm down. I'm sittinghere waiting for a phone call from the autism clinic. I am reading the book the exposive child but have yet to get more than just an understanding of why he does this with delayed language and emotional pathways.. This after scratching the hell out of me on Saturday morning, I dont expect anyone to be able to help me but I just needed to vent and get it out to the group, I am tired of bieng attacked by my son. I tried to reason with him before he got to the point of attacking me by staying ultra calm but that did not help at all. Just wondered if anybody has any ideas.

[Guest guest]

It must be the combination of anxiety and a developmental disorder.

My daughter can explode if life is not predictable. She still gets

enraged from time to time and really goes after me. It is awful. If I am at home

I will lock myself in a room and she will kick at the door until it looks like

the door will come off the hinge. I try not to talk to her when she is so angry.

I open the door only if she agrees to calm down. It is a bad situation that is

happening less and less.

At Christmastime she was more stressed. My husband was in the hospital. She

slept over her cousins while I visited him after his surgery. When I picked her

up she made a public scene that she wanted a laptop like her cousin had. She

went from 0 to 100 in seconds.

She was pulling on my purse in a parking lot (she wanted me to go buy a laptop),

and hitting me in the head as I leaned over my purse holding it and my wallet.

Someone called the police on us. Luckily the police could see that my daughter

had issues. She calmed down.

I try to make rules that make life more predictable. I don't

discuss issues in the evening. I won't talk before 7am.

I won't buy things unplanned. No more pets except

very tiny ones (fish basically). Saturday morning is pet cleaning day. Shower is

at 7pm then TV time is earned. She has to be

dressed head to shoes (and medication) before she gets computer time even on

weekends. The list goes on and on.

I have been working with Yale Univeristy's Parent Training

and Child Conduct Clinic. It has been helpful but does not

totally stop outbursts. I had to structure our life carefully and give out

points for each step in her day. If she wants something I know ask her if she

will talk " no " calmly I can give her 5 points on her chart. And she is taking

" no " for an answer more than she use to.

Yale's plan for hitting is the punishment is a 30 minute chore

done as close to when the hitting happens. That is it.

Yale has me giving my daughter 2 points for role playing how she

can handle a situation calmly. Some things hae helped her cope.

Other issues if we role play she expoldes and cries.

She can earn up to 8 points a day about. If she gets 50pts

it can be cashed in for $10 a week. Points can also be spent on

little outtings and things like that. It does not have to mean

that 100pt is $20. Money should not be the only reward to be cashed in.

Life is really getting very structured. It is like what some

treatment programs use. I guess it has to be more like this for us.

I would not have cooperation otherwise.

But my daughter does not outweigh me and she is not really hurting me

when she hits me. She is not strong enough.

If your son is strong and hurting you I am very worried for you.

You need more help then or more medication. There are the strong

tranquilers like ativan and seroquel for sleep issues that are

sometimes given at bedtime if early waking is a problem. I don't know if this

makes sense in such a young child. It wouldn't help my daughter she gets mad

usually toward the afternon or early evening.

Limiting stimulation is helpful, keeping a regular sleep schedule,

be home by 3pm and relax for dinner and bedtime is helpful for my daughter. All

stimulation is done between 10-3pm. I do not take her to movies at night, or out

in the evening etc.

Best of luck getting this under control.

Pam

>

> I really feel like I am at a loss here. My 12 year old son woke up before 5

am to watch tv, when I came down I really dont like to hear the tv that early in

the morning I sent him upstairs to watch till his aid came. When he came

downstairs he immediatly started to whine about his father (I'm a single parent

and his father is a dead beat dad) he wanted me to call him. His father is in

yet another rehab and cannot have visitors letters or any contact for the rest

of the month my son KNOWS this. He immediatly started to attack me yank my hair

pull at my clothes and push me. I in turn immediatly tried to leave the area

for " planned ignoring " as suggested by the behaviorist. Mind you I just had my

son at the autism clinic on Tuesday morning and had his abilify bumped up in the

evening so he may sleep better.( dont think thats working). He followed me

around and tried to get into my room to attack me further until finally I had to

call the police to get him to calm down. I'm sittinghere waiting for a phone

call from the autism clinic. I am reading the book the exposive child but have

yet to get more than just an understanding of why he does this with delayed

language and emotional pathways.. This after scratching the hell out of me on

Saturday morning, I dont expect anyone to be able to help me but I just needed

to vent and get it out to the group, I am tired of bieng attacked by my son. I

tried to reason with him before he got to the point of attacking me by staying

ultra calm but that did not help at all. Just wondered if anybody has any

ideas.

>

[Guest guest]

Yes thats what the book The explosive Child said too....language skill delays disrupts the emotional pathways and the anger results and rages. I have a meeting with his casworker thisweek...I feel she should be doing more to get him a therapist. Thanks for your input...I can use all the help I can get.

Marcia

Re: ( ) Police were here this morning for attack to mom

Hi,

As a child I did not know the reason of my anger, then I grew up and realized I was angry because I could not express my ideas and communicate t(even thougt I could speak)

Unability to communicate could cause anger out of frustration.

Does he has problem expressing himself? the fact that he was whining shows that he was already frustrated and trying to communicate something., but also you mention that he wanted to call his father..

Have you ever tried to enroll him in Martial art class? it can help with his anger and self discipline.

I disagree with the therapist, he has to let his feelings out, but he has to learn postive ways of doing that. He has to confront his own feelings and fears. Ignoring him is not a good idea, at least did not work with my aspie girl.

he can learn constructive method of communication. The problem is that he has to learn to understand his feelings and take those feelings and convert them into worlds, and then express those feelings in a constructive way.

does he feel remorse after he hit you?

My girl used to be violent toward me, she has improved a lot with therapy. She confronts her feelings and tries to express them to me. I try to keep control when she gets violent. I know that she gets violent because her ideas and thoughts are stuck and she can not let them out.

I understand how bad you feel. You should discuss with your therapist other approach to help him with his anger.

Believe me, it will get better with a good therapy and the right medicine.

Good luck.

( ) Police were here this morning for attack to mom

Date: Friday, February 5, 2010, 7:28 PM

I really feel like I am at a loss here. My 12 year old son woke up before 5 am to watch tv, when I came down I really dont like to hear the tv that early in the morning I sent him upstairs to watch till his aid came. When he came downstairs he immediatly started to whine about his father (I'm a single parent and his father is a dead beat dad) he wanted me to call him. His father is in yet another rehab and cannot have visitors letters or any contact for the rest of the month my son KNOWS this. He immediatly started to attack me yank my hair pull at my clothes and push me. I in turn immediatly tried to leave the area for "planned ignoring" as suggested by the behaviorist. Mind you I just had my son at the autism clinic on Tuesday morning and had his abilify bumped up in the evening so he may sleep better.( dont think thats working). He followed me around and tried to get into my room to attack me further until finally I had to call the police to get him to calm down. I'm sittinghere waiting for a phone call from the autism clinic. I am reading the book the exposive child but have yet to get more than just an understanding of why he does this with delayed language and emotional pathways.. This after scratching the hell out of me on Saturday morning, I dont expect any

one to be able to help me but I just needed to vent and get it out to the group, I am tired of bieng attacked by my son. I tried to reason with him before he got to the point of attacking me by staying ultra calm but that did not help at all. Just wondered if anybody has any ideas.

[Guest guest]

Yes I do some of the things you do we are pretty structured too...home work trash and setting the table before tv ...and recently the autism doc called in ativan for a "rescue med"..it doesnt knock him down too well but it helps a little. It is hard to keep such a tight schedule in the winter time especially on Saturdays. Lately he has been getting up at 4 am to watch tv....I've fianllay got him to understand that this is not acceptable and too early to be up. I have ameeting with his caseworker and behaviorist this week and these things will be discussed thank you for writing.

How old is your daughter. My son is 12.

Marcia

( ) Re: Police were here this morning for attack to mom

It must be the combination of anxiety and a developmental disorder.

My daughter can explode if life is not predictable. She still gets

enraged from time to time and really goes after me. It is awful. If I am at home I will lock myself in a room and she will kick at the door until it looks like the door will come off the hinge. I try not to talk to her when she is so angry. I open the door only if she agrees to calm down. It is a bad situation that is happening less and less.

At Christmastime she was more stressed. My husband was in the hospital. She slept over her cousins while I visited him after his surgery. When I picked her up she made a public scene that she wanted a laptop like her cousin had. She went from 0 to 100 in seconds.

She was pulling on my purse in a parking lot (she wanted me to go buy a laptop), and hitting me in the head as I leaned over my purse holding it and my wallet. Someone called the police on us. Luckily the police could see that my daughter had issues. She calmed down.

I try to make rules that make life more predictable. I don't

discuss issues in the evening. I won't talk before 7am.

I won't buy things unplanned. No more pets except

very tiny ones (fish basically). Saturday morning is pet cleaning day. Shower is at 7pm then TV time is earned. She has to be

dressed head to shoes (and medication) before she gets computer time even on weekends. The list goes on and on.

I have been working with Yale Univeristy's Parent Training

and Child Conduct Clinic. It has been helpful but does not

totally stop outbursts. I had to structure our life carefully and give out points for each step in her day. If she wants something I know ask her if she will talk "no" calmly I can give her 5 points on her chart. And she is taking "no" for an answer more than she use to.

Yale's plan for hitting is the punishment is a 30 minute chore

done as close to when the hitting happens. That is it.

Yale has me giving my daughter 2 points for role playing how she

can handle a situation calmly. Some things hae helped her cope.

Other issues if we role play she expoldes and cries.

She can earn up to 8 points a day about. If she gets 50pts

it can be cashed in for $10 a week. Points can also be spent on

little outtings and things like that. It does not have to mean

that 100pt is $20. Money should not be the only reward to be cashed in.

Life is really getting very structured. It is like what some

treatment programs use. I guess it has to be more like this for us.

I would not have cooperation otherwise.

But my daughter does not outweigh me and she is not really hurting me

when she hits me. She is not strong enough.

If your son is strong and hurting you I am very worried for you.

You need more help then or more medication. There are the strong

tranquilers like ativan and seroquel for sleep issues that are

sometimes given at bedtime if early waking is a problem. I don't know if this makes sense in such a young child. It wouldn't help my daughter she gets mad usually toward the afternon or early evening.

Limiting stimulation is helpful, keeping a regular sleep schedule,

be home by 3pm and relax for dinner and bedtime is helpful for my daughter. All stimulation is done between 10-3pm. I do not take her to movies at night, or out in the evening etc.

Best of luck getting this under control.

Pam

>

> I really feel like I am at a loss here. My 12 year old son woke up before 5 am to watch tv, when I came down I really dont like to hear the tv that early in the morning I sent him upstairs to watch till his aid came. When he came downstairs he immediatly started to whine about his father (I'm a single parent and his father is a dead beat dad) he wanted me to call him. His father is in yet another rehab and cannot have visitors letters or any contact for the rest of the month my son KNOWS this. He immediatly started to attack me yank my hair pull at my clothes and push me. I in turn immediatly tried to leave the area for "planned ignoring" as suggested by the behaviorist. Mind you I just had my son at the autism clinic on Tuesday morning and had his abilify bumped up in the evening so he may sleep better.( dont think thats working). He followed me around and tried to get into my room to attack me further until finally I had to call the police to get him to calm down. I'm sittinghere waiting for a phone call from the autism clinic. I am reading the book the exposive child but have yet to get more than just an understanding of why he does this with delayed language and emotional pathways.. This after scratching the hell out of me on Saturday morning, I dont expect anyone to be able to help me but I just needed to vent and get it out to the group, I am tired of bieng attacked by my son. I tried to reason with him before he got to the point of attacking me by staying ultra calm but that did not help at all. Just wondered if anybody has any ideas.

>

[Guest guest]

Yea I know no positive male influences....one male home healthcare aid...and some guys at church, I have no family and I have been on the big brothers and sisters list for years.

Re: ( ) Police were here this morning for attack to mom

Any boy your son's age needs and wants his dad around. Your son struggles to understand why dad isn't around. Hell, a nt boy would get pissed off at you, too. He needs a man in his life. Obviously I can't know all the issues, but from what you presented, your boy wants a dad figure. Is there an uncle, or grandpa around? Could you find a mentor program for him? You've got to be creative, but you've got to get a man in his life.

On Fri, Feb 5, 2010 at 2:28 PM, marciawho_01 <marcial7777aol> wrote:

I really feel like I am at a loss here. My 12 year old son woke up before 5 am to watch tv, when I came down I really dont like to hear the tv that early in the morning I sent him upstairs to watch till his aid came. When he came downstairs he immediatly started to whine about his father (I'm a single parent and his father is a dead beat dad) he wanted me to call him. His father is in yet another rehab and cannot have visitors letters or any contact for the rest of the month my son KNOWS this. He immediatly started to attack me yank my hair pull at my clothes and push me. I in turn immediatly tried to leave the area for "planned ignoring" as suggested by the behaviorist. Mind you I just had my son at the autism clinic on Tuesday morning and had his abilify bumped up in the evening so he may sleep better.( dont think thats working). He followed me around and tried to get into my room to attack me further until finally I had to call the police to get him to calm down. I'm sittinghere waiting for a phone call from the autism clinic. I am reading the book the exposive child but have yet to get more than just an understanding of why he does this with delayed language and emotional pathways.. This after scratching the hell out of me on Saturday morning, I dont expect anyone to be able to help me but I just needed to vent and get it out to the group, I am tired of bieng attacked by my son. I tried to reason with him before he got to the point of attacking me by staying ultra calm but that did not help at all. Just wondered if anybody has any ideas.

[Guest guest]

Awe thank you it just helps to know theres other kids that are in the smae position and parents too..I have picked up some great tips from the group and support thanks so much for writing.

Marcia

( ) Re: Police were here this morning for attack to mom

I feel for ya! I don't really have a lot of experience(my ds is only 6 and kinda small for his age). But I do understand about the deadbeat dad issue and I totally feel for you and for your son. My son asks to see his dad and his dad very rarely picks him up for visits and NEVER pays child support. His dad doesn't understand how much consistency really does matter to these kids. Thankfully his step dad is far more supportive, but I really feel for the kids yours and mine. It is a shame that their fathers can't step up. As for the police issue, I wish I could give you a big hug, it sounds like you need one. And I wish I had more advice.

>

> I really feel like I am at a loss here. My 12 year old son woke up before 5 am to watch tv, when I came down I really dont like to hear the tv that early in the morning I sent him upstairs to watch till his aid came. When he came downstairs he immediatly started to whine about his father (I'm a single parent and his father is a dead beat dad) he wanted me to call him. His father is in yet another rehab and cannot have visitors letters or any contact for the rest of the month my son KNOWS this. He immediatly started to attack me yank my hair pull at my clothes and push me. I in turn immediatly tried to leave the area for "planned ignoring" as suggested by the behaviorist. Mind you I just had my son at the autism clinic on Tuesday morning and had his abilify bumped up in the evening so he may sleep better.( dont think thats working). He followed me around and tried to get into my room to attack me further until finally I had to call the police to get him to calm down. I'm sittinghere waiting for a phone call from the autism clinic. I am reading the book the exposive child but have yet to get more than just an understanding of why he does this with delayed language and emotional pathways.. This after scratching the hell out of me on Saturday morning, I dont expect anyone to be able to help me but I just needed to vent and get it out to the group, I am tired of bieng attacked by my son. I tried to reason with him before he got to the point of attacking me by staying ultra calm but that did not help at all. Just wondered if anybody has any ideas.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,I think that boys really need their father. I am a single mother of a boy and a girl. My son father was not on his life too much when he was growing up, we had a bitter divorce and he stopped giving me child support, I took him every year for child support for twenty years. All those years my son missed his father being a part of his life

and I had to put up with everything that came alone with this problem.

I never told my son any bad things about his father, I opened my heart out to my

girlfriend to get out my frustration and anger. I told my son that his father was mad at me, not mad at him.Eventually his father came alone, my son went to college, his father was proud of it.This Friday my son called me on tears, his father was in the hospital with an stroke. Then I realized I did the right thing when I saw my son suffering. I called his father that was in the hospital and told him that his son loves him very much that he has to fight for his life so my son can recuperate all those years lost when he was not around....I have the child support problem with my girl's father. it is very hard to get money out of him, but I take him to court several time a year until he gets a job and start paying again. He does not see my girl because he used to physically hurt us and my girl has PSTD. besides aspergers.I do not speak at all about her father, but my girl remembers.She have deleted him from her life at this time.She does not like me and blame me for the physical and mental abuse situation even though we left her father. Re: ( ) Police were here this morning for attack to mom Any boy your son's age needs and wants his dad around. Your son struggles to understand why dad isn't around. Hell, a nt boy would get pissed off at you, too. He needs a man in his life. Obviously I can't know all the issues, but from what you presented, your boy wants a dad figure. Is there an uncle, or grandpa around? Could you find a mentor program for him? You've got to be creative, but you've got to get a man in his life.On Fri, Feb 5, 2010 at 2:28 PM, marciawho_01 <marcial7777@...> wrote: I really feel like I am at a loss here. My 12 year old son woke up before 5 am to watch tv, when I came down I really dont like to hear the tv that early in the morning I sent him upstairs to watch till his aid came. When he came downstairs he immediatly started to whine about his father (I'm a single parent and his father is a dead beat dad) he wanted me to call him. His father is in yet another rehab and cannot have visitors letters or any contact for the rest of the month my son KNOWS this. He immediatly started to attack me yank my hair pull at my clothes and push me. I in turn immediatly tried to leave the area for "planned ignoring" as suggested by the behaviorist. Mind you I just had my son at the autism clinic on Tuesday morning and had his abilify bumped up in the evening so he may sleep better.( dont think thats working). He followed me around and tried to get into my room to attack me further until finally I had to call the police to get him to calm down. I'm sittinghere waiting for a phone call from the autism clinic. I am reading the book the exposive child but have yet to get more than just an understanding of why he does this with delayed language and emotional pathways.. This after scratching the hell out of me on Saturday morning, I dont expect anyone to be able to help me but I just needed to vent and get it out to the group, I am tired of bieng attacked by my son. I tried to reason with him before he got to the point of attacking me by staying ultra calm but that did not help at all. Just wondered if anybody has any ideas.