Re: Birthday Party

[Guest guest]

Thanks, having 2 boys I don't get to shop for " girlie stuff " too often.

I'll be sure to take pictures to share.

Di

Re: birthday party

> Di,

>

> Speaking as a mom of 2 girls, aunt of 12 nieces and 14 grand nieces, here

> are my ideas. Purse or tote bag... bracelets/necklaces ...flavored chap

> sticks/lip gloss ...CDs (IF you know what music she or her family likes)

> ...gift cards... scented body spray (Target carries a bath and body works

> type) ...hmmmm...that about does it for my ideas Hope it helps you get

> your thinking cap on.

>

> I am so excited for Nic. This sounds like a great party!! I wanna go!!!

>

> Kym...mom to 5 including (9ds)

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: " Di " <drf218@...>

>> What are 10 year old girls into these days?

>>

>> Di

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

GIFT CARDS! Target, Walmart, 's, Limited 2, etc.

CASH! Can't go wrong. I have done a fun gift where I take a cute gift

bag, put a large candy bar or bag of candy at the bottom to make it

actually weigh something, and then fold $1 lengthwise and tie a long

string of curly ribbon on it, continuing on until it looks like a kite

tail, with the $1 bills as the " bows " on the kite tail. Put in bag,

cover with tissue, and then make a tag for the end of the ribbon that

says " Pull gently " You should hear the squeals and screams as the long

string of money comes out. I usually leave about 6 inches between

bills, so it's fun and you don't go broke :-)

At 10, she might still be into girl stuff like Barbies and Bratz, but

probably not. Art supplies are always a good bet, and there are often

cute craft kits at s. Bead jewelry is in right now, and I think

I've seen some beading kits (my 11 year old LOVES to make nice bead

stuff and give it to her friends), as are decorations for their rooms

such as cute pillows and other accessories. Music or DVDs are good, but

you'd have to know her tastes. If she has an ipod, you can get itunes

gift cards at Target (and other places too I'm sure).

We've both had and attended rock climbing parties many times. They are

great fun, and there are plenty of parents hanging around and helping

belay the kids, so you won't be the only parent there for sure.

won't do it, but she enjoys going and watching her friends,

and playing with the ropes. At her big sister's 8th birthday party, she

took her Pooh Bear and hooked him up to the ropes and hoisted him way up

before anyone noticed (she was almost 6, I guess). She laughed her head

off at her trick, but the poor guy had to free climb up and rescue Pooh,

since Pooh didn't weigh enough for gravity to help him down. It was

pretty funny though.

, mom to (11), (9), and Sammy (7)

Di wrote:

> Nic got invited to his first " typical kid " birthday-outside of the

> family that is...

> It's at a local rock climbing gym and at first I wasn't going to let

> him go but I spoke with the girl's mom (who didn't know Nic has DS).

> She assured me they harnessed them up real well and the staff there

> were good and besides that, was very particular about who she

> wanted to invite and Nic should come even if he wasn't physically able

> to climb the wall. So we're going....

> What are 10 year old girls into these days?

>

> Di

>

>

[Guest guest]

Congrats I hope all works out well

B

--- Di <drf218@...> wrote:

> Nic got invited to his first " typical kid "

> birthday-outside of the family that is...

> It's at a local rock climbing gym and at first I

> wasn't going to let him go but I spoke with the

> girl's mom (who didn't know Nic has DS). She assured

> me they harnessed them up real well and the staff

> there were good and besides that, was very

> particular about who she wanted to invite and Nic

> should come even if he wasn't physically able to

> climb the wall. So we're going....

> What are 10 year old girls into these days?

>

> Di

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

> Click reply to all for messages to go to the list.

> Just hit reply for messages to go to the sender of

> the message.

>

[Guest guest]

It sounds like social anxiety to me.....just too many people and kids at one time for him. Maybe others will have better ideas.

hugs

Wags! Wags! Wags!

Lowry

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

Author Ben

From: heidi.guarino@...Date: Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:34:27 +0000Subject: ( ) Birthday Party

We had a birthday party for my 2-year-old on Saturday, and my 4-year-old, who was diagnosed with mild Asperger's in May, didn't handle it very well. I'm not sure why, so I would love any advice you have.We kept the party very simple. The guests were my mother, my mother-in-law, my cousin and his baby, and two of our friends, who brought their children. In all there were 7 kids, ranging in age from 1 to nearly 6 years old. all of the kids are familiar to him, and he has played with them before. Everyone arrived at 11, and we let the kids play for about an hour before serving lunch and cake. During that hour Owen refused to play with any of the other kids, and seemed to regress to behavior he hasn't shown in months. He isolated himself in another room, used babytalk, screamed to get attention, and refused to go to the potty. It was really, really strange, and a little embarassing. I got very frustrated with him and my husband and I had to keep pulling him aside and trying to talk him down. He ended up with more timeouts than I care to recall. The party ended by 2, and the rest of the day he seemed more like himself, but I still can't figure out what we did wrong. How could we have structured this differently? What could we have done to keep the attention on Jake (our youngest) without Owen feeling so left out? Discover a magical Christmas destination. Visit asksanta.ca today!

[Guest guest]

When we had birthday  parties for our kids, they were always pretty structured. We never had plain "play time." There were always activities to focus on. When my dd was 2, we did ornament decorating (she is a week-before-Christmas baby), handprint wreaths, handprint clay ornaments that we baked and painted, and some little singing games. For older kids, we did a Drew party, where we wrote a mystery that the kids had to solve. They found clues all over the house. One year, we did a cooking party. Their party favors were a little chef's apron and a wooden spoon. They made pizza and ice cream from scratch. My son had a pool party when he was little, a wood working party, and from the time he was 10 on up, he had his parties at the lazer tag place. Everybody loved to come to the kids' parties.If your 4 year old wouldn't respond to the structure, I would have him stay in his room. A parent might have to stay outside his room to keep him there.Parties and things are hard for kids with AS. Hang in there,LizOn Dec 26, 2007, at 9:34 AM, hguarino wrote:We had a birthday party for my 2-year-old on Saturday, and my 4-year-old, who was diagnosed with mild Asperger's in May, didn't handle it very well. I'm not sure why, so I would love any advice you have.We kept the party very simple. The guests were my mother, my mother-in-law, my cousin and his baby, and two of our friends, who brought their children. In all there were 7 kids, ranging in age from 1 to nearly 6 years old. all of the kids are familiar to him, and he has played with them before. Everyone arrived at 11, and we let the kids play for about an hour before serving lunch and cake. During that hour Owen refused to play with any of the other kids, and seemed to regress to behavior he hasn't shown in months. He isolated himself in another room, used babytalk, screamed to get attention, and refused to go to the potty. It was really, really strange, and a little embarassing. I got very frustrated with him and my husband and I had to keep pulling him aside and trying to talk him down. He ended up with more timeouts than I care to recall. The party ended by 2, and the rest of the day he seemed more like himself, but I still can't figure out what we did wrong. How could we have structured this differently? What could we have done to keep the attention on Jake (our youngest) without Owen feeling so left out?

[Guest guest]

Maybe just the # of people in the house was overwhelming to him? Even if he's familiar with everyone, the increased noise could've been the downfall. Plus, he was probably overstimulated with all of the things/people he wanted to play with. I wouldn't consider this something you did "wrong" though. Part of being a mom with kids like this is learning (sometimes the hard way!) what works and what doesn't. The fact that you reached out to others means you care and you'll probably learn something from this!

Could you have a party like this in the future in a bigger place? Maybe that would help. Or maybe he could go on a playdate somewhere else during the party so it doesn't take away from your other child's celebration?

Maybe another idea would be to set up a special room just for your son and let him know if it gets too loud, he can go in there and watch a video, play with toys, etc... It would be his special place and you could make a big deal about it with your son. And if you see him starting to exhibit undesirable behavior, you can escort him there yourself to try and prevent a meltdown?

Another idea would be to hire a teenage babysitter who's main job is to keep an eye on your son during the party and play with him, remove him from the room, etc.. so you aren't so distracted from the party.

Hang in there! Parenting is definitely an art and not a science!!! No black and whites here, just a bunch of gray...

( ) Birthday Party

We had a birthday party for my 2-year-old on Saturday, and my 4-year-old, who was diagnosed with mild Asperger's in May, didn't handle it very well. I'm not sure why, so I would love any advice you have.We kept the party very simple. The guests were my mother, my mother-in-law, my cousin and his baby, and two of our friends, who brought their children. In all there were 7 kids, ranging in age from 1 to nearly 6 years old. all of the kids are familiar to him, and he has played with them before. Everyone arrived at 11, and we let the kids play for about an hour before serving lunch and cake. During that hour Owen refused to play with any of the other kids, and seemed to regress to behavior he hasn't shown in months. He isolated himself in another room, used babytalk, screamed to get attention, and refused to go to the potty. It was really, really strange, and a little embarassing. I got very

frustrated with him and my husband and I had to keep pulling him aside and trying to talk him down. He ended up with more timeouts than I care to recall. The party ended by 2, and the rest of the day he seemed more like himself, but I still can't figure out what we did wrong. How could we have structured this differently? What could we have done to keep the attention on Jake (our youngest) without Owen feeling so left out?

[Guest guest]

THESE ARE ALL GREAT IDEAS. I CAN SEE YOU'RE NOT A "NEWBIE". :-) ANTHA HAD A MELTDOWN YESTERDAY IN MY OLDEST SON'S HOUSE. THERE WERE LOTS OF PEOPLE AND 2 OTHER CHILDREN: HIS YOUNGER BROTHER (STEP-BROTHER WHO IS MY OLDEST SON'S STEP-SON) AND HIS COUSIN. ANTHA ENDED UP STAYING IN HIS LITTEL BROTHER'S ROOM FOR A WHILE, WHERE HE WAS HAPPIER. WE'RE STILL LEARNING. AS FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS - DON'T WORRY. IF THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH YOUR SON, OH WELL!! IT'S THEIR LOSS. THESE CHILDREN ARE A TRUE BLESSING FROM THE LORD. DON'T FEEL EMBARRASED. YOU'LL LEARN, AS TIME OGES BY, WHAT WORKS AND WHAT DOESN'T WORK. HUGS, JEANETTE MacAllister <smacalli@...> wrote: Maybe just the # of people in the house was overwhelming to him? Even if he's familiar with everyone, the increased noise could've been the downfall. Plus, he was probably overstimulated with all of the things/people he wanted to play with. I wouldn't consider this something you did "wrong" though. Part of being a mom with kids like this is learning (sometimes the hard way!) what works and what doesn't. The fact that you reached out to others means you care and you'll probably learn something from this! Could you have a party like this in the future in a bigger place? Maybe that would help. Or maybe he could go on a playdate somewhere else during the party so it doesn't take away from your other child's celebration? Maybe another idea would be to set up a special room just for your son and let him know if it gets too loud, he can go in there and watch a video, play with toys, etc... It would be his special place and you could make a big deal about it with your son. And if you see him starting to exhibit undesirable behavior, you can escort him there yourself to try and prevent a meltdown? Another idea would be to hire a teenage babysitter who's main job is to keep an eye on your son during the party and play with him, remove him from the room, etc.. so you aren't so distracted from the party. Hang in there! Parenting is definitely an art and not a science!!! No black and whites here, just a bunch of gray... ( ) Birthday Party We had a birthday party for my 2-year-old on Saturday, and my 4-year-old, who was diagnosed with mild Asperger's in May, didn't handle it very well. I'm not sure why, so I would love any advice you have.We kept the party very simple. The guests were my mother, my mother-in-law, my cousin and his baby, and two of our friends, who brought their children. In all there were 7 kids, ranging in age from 1 to nearly 6 years old. all of the kids are familiar to him, and he has played with them before. Everyone arrived at 11, and we let the kids play for about an hour before serving lunch and cake. During that hour Owen refused to play

with any of the other kids, and seemed to regress to behavior he hasn't shown in months. He isolated himself in another room, used babytalk, screamed to get attention, and refused to go to the potty. It was really, really strange, and a little embarassing. I got very frustrated with him and my husband and I had to keep pulling him aside and trying to talk him down. He ended up with more timeouts than I care to recall. The party ended by 2, and the rest of the day he seemed more like himself, but I still can't figure out what we did wrong. How could we have structured this differently? What could we have done to keep the attention on Jake (our youngest) without Owen feeling so left out?

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

At our family diner, Drake pretended the other kids there didn;t

exist. He ran between me and his mom and just ignored the other kids.

But we have learned that he does better if we explain to him

beforehand what is going to happen. If something different is thrown

at him, then he usually acts out terribly. I am sure its the change in

his normal routine.

[Guest guest]

In my opinion if it is too much for him

and he is going off by himself you should leave him be. It really isn’t

that big of a deal whether or not he is part of the group. The party was

for his brother. I do have a very no-nonsense, hands off approach. It

is more important that his brother have a good time and that you maintain your

sanity. You let him know when food, etc. is being served but otherwise

leave him be. His brother shouldn’t have to suffer because he can’t

handle groups of people but he shouldn’t have to suffer either. You

might tell him when the activity changes (especially if it changes to a

structured activity), but don’t force the issue. Just go to the

door and let him know what is going on and then leave. If you beg him to

come out, you are encouraging the behavior by giving him attention. If

you simply let him know what is up, you are respecting his issues without encouraging

them to escalate.

Jolinna

[Guest guest]

Perfect answer, Jolinna. Our live as a family got incredibly better when we stopped trying to force him to be the way we thought he SHOULD be. He can't, and shouldn't have to be anything that he doesn't feel comfortable being!!!! RobinJolinna <jolinna@...> wrote: In my opinion if it is too much for him and he is going off by himself you should leave him be. It really isn’t that big of a deal whether or not he is part of the group. The party was for his brother. I do have a very no-nonsense, hands off approach. It is more important that his brother have a good time and that you maintain your sanity. You let him know when food, etc. is being served but otherwise leave him be. His brother shouldn’t have to suffer because he can’t handle groups of people but he shouldn’t have to suffer either. You might tell him when the activity changes (especially if it changes to a structured activity), but don’t force the issue. Just go to the door and let him know what is going on and then leave. If you beg him to come out, you are encouraging the behavior by giving him attention. If you simply let him know what is up, you are respecting

his issues without encouraging them to escalate. Jolinna

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

[Guest guest]

You are missing something I said. I said

that you should let him go off and do his own thing, not just make him deal

with it. Forcing him to deal with it is too much for them. Even now, at 15,

there are few times I expect my son to just deal with it. You work out coping strategies

before hand (at this point, my son’s techniques are firmly enough

engrained that I don’t have to do this). If he chooses to interact with

others and starts getting overwhelmed, get down and whisper in his ear, “Remember

what you said you would do if you felt…..” They should always be

pleasant options because you want him to learn to use coping techniques on his

own. If things have gone too far before you catch it, excuse yourself and tell

him in a upbeat tone that you are going to take and get him started. Get him set

up with a movie, computer game or whatever it is that he can do to keep himself

calm or calm himself down. You shouldn’t have to be gone for more than 5

minutes. Let him know that later, if he thinks he can handle it, he is welcome

to come back out, but that if he chooses to join everyone again he needs to remember

to go do X if he starts feeling ….. again. This isn’t forcing him to

deal, it is teaching him how to deal with situations that he is uncomfortable in.

My son will usually pass on going to the movies with the family because it is too

loud (unless it is Star Wars, Harry

Potter, etc.) He has learned over

the years what he can deal with and what he can’t. Some things that are very

difficult for him to deal with he does because he wants to fit in. He knows when

he has reached his limit (usually) though. Just don’t let anyone touch him

when he isn’t expecting it or doesn’t want it. That is the one thing

he still hasn’t learned to deal with.

Jolinna

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Wednesday, December 26, 2007

9:01 PM

Subject: Re: ( )

Birthday Party

I agree Jolinna. Although this is easier said than

done. Alot of

times i tell myself, well he will just have to deal! There doesn't

seem to be a perfect consistency with my son's AS. If there weren't

any other factors he might just deal but it just takes one odd thing

to upset him internally that there is no way he will just deal.

When my husband and I are on target and not sidetracked my the

other's kids demands we are in tune with which outcome it might be,

I hope that made sense. Jonah doesn't really act out all the time

in anger, some weeks it seems he just gets really emotional. Easily

tears up and seems down. Do all of your children act out violently?

There have been times that Jonah gets so angry and the makes this

angry monster face and makes fists and i feel i have to hug him

right away because he is getting too mad. that doesn't work all the

time. I want to protect him from his anger because after he

explodes he cries bad.

well, that's it for now, i think,

thanks

melissa

>

> In my opinion if it is too much for him and he is going off by

himself you should leave him be. It really isn't that big of a deal

whether or not he is part of the group. The party was for his

brother. I do have a very no-nonsense, hands off approach. It is

more important that his brother have a good time and that you

maintain your sanity. You let him know when food, etc. is being

served but otherwise leave him be. His brother shouldn't have to

suffer because he can't handle groups of people but he shouldn't

have to suffer either. You might tell him when the activity changes

(especially if it changes to a structured activity), but don't force

the issue. Just go to the door and let him know what is going on

and then leave. If you beg him to come out, you are encouraging the

behavior by giving him attention. If you simply let him know what

is up, you are respecting his issues without encouraging them to

escalate.

>

> Jolinna

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with

Search.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi - I'm jumping in here late but I wanted to add that I've always said life for all of us would be so much easier if I could run about 10 minutes ahead into the future and call back with what to expect. We always try to prepare both boys for what "we think" will happen. We learned to say what "we think" instead of "what will" happen. Even with the younger children, pictures can really help - who will be there and what you will be doing.

Hang in there - it will get easier - I just can't tell you when it will happen for you!

trisha rice

-----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Heidi GuarinoSent: Thursday, December 27, 2007 8:10 AM Subject: Re: ( ) Birthday Party

Thanks for all of your advice. I think I agree with Jolinna too, but it's so hard to follow through on that. In my head I agree that I shouldn't force it, but in my heart I always feel like he needs just THIS MUCH more encouragement and then he'll "get it." I'm not sure how realistic that is, but some days it truly seems to work .On Christmas Day we went to a friend's house for dessert and he played with her two kids very well. In fact, our youngest was the problem because he was terrified of their new puppy! It's such an emotional roller coaster because he'll go days with no issues and then just revert like he did at the birthday party. This gets easier, right? Please tell me it does...

On 12/26/07, <sjuliesmomverizon (DOT) net> wrote:

I agree Jolinna. Although this is easier said than done. Alot of times i tell myself, well he will just have to deal! There doesn't seem to be a perfect consistency with my son's AS. If there weren't any other factors he might just deal but it just takes one odd thing to upset him internally that there is no way he will just deal. When my husband and I are on target and not sidetracked my the other's kids demands we are in tune with which outcome it might be, I hope that made sense. Jonah doesn't really act out all the time in anger, some weeks it seems he just gets really emotional. Easily tears up and seems down. Do all of your children act out violently?There have been times that Jonah gets so angry and the makes this angry monster face and makes fists and i feel i have to hug him right away because he is getting too mad. that doesn't work all the time. I want to protect him from his anger because after he explodes he cries bad. well, that's it for now, i think,thanksmelissa> > In my opinion if it is too much for him and he is going off by himself you should leave him be. It really isn't that big of a deal whether or not he is part of the group. The party was for his brother. I do have a very no-nonsense, hands off approach. It is more important that his brother have a good time and that you maintain your sanity. You let him know when food, etc. is being served but otherwise leave him be. His brother shouldn't have to suffer because he can't handle groups of people but he shouldn't have to suffer either. You might tell him when the activity changes (especially if it changes to a structured activity), but don't force the issue. Just go to the door and let him know what is going on and then leave. If you beg him to come out, you are encouraging the behavior by giving him attention. If you simply let him know what is up, you are respecting his issues without encouraging them to escalate. > > Jolinna> > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.>

[Guest guest]

And one more thing I just remembered: We used to keep a special bag of toys, books, crayons, etc. that we only used for going out to dinner, or when we needed to keep him occupied for a little while. Every so often you have to add to that, but it beats buying a new toy or some kind of present every time you need him to know it is okay to go somewhere to be by himself when it is too overwhelming. We kept a special bag for church that only had quiet things in it.

I still do this to some extent with my 17 and 12 yo aspies. Usually it's something that they haven't seen or played with in a while that I can tuck in my purse "just in case." Unfortunately, at this time of year, we have a lot of those "just in case" moments. But like I said before, it will get better. You will become an expert at reading the signs and knowing what will help distract him, and your friends will be amazed at how you do it!

trisha

-----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of JolinnaSent: Thursday, December 27, 2007 9:22 PM Subject: RE: ( ) Birthday Party

You are missing something I said. I said that you should let him go off and do his own thing, not just make him deal with it. Forcing him to deal with it is too much for them. Even now, at 15, there are few times I expect my son to just deal with it. You work out coping strategies before hand (at this point, my son’s techniques are firmly enough engrained that I don’t have to do this). If he chooses to interact with others and starts getting overwhelmed, get down and whisper in his ear, “Remember what you said you would do if you felt…..” They should always be pleasant options because you want him to learn to use coping techniques on his own. If things have gone too far before you catch it, excuse yourself and tell him in a upbeat tone that you are going to take and get him started. Get him set up with a movie, computer game or whatever it is that he can do to keep himself calm or calm himself down. You shouldn’t have to be gone for more than 5 minutes. Let him know that later, if he thinks he can handle it, he is welcome to come back out, but that if he chooses to join everyone again he needs to remember to go do X if he starts feeling ….. again. This isn’t forcing him to deal, it is teaching him how to deal with situations that he is uncomfortable in. My son will usually pass on going to the movies with the family because it is too loud (unless it is Star Wars, Harry Potter, etc.) He has learned over the years what he can deal with and what he can’t. Some things that are very difficult for him to deal with he does because he wants to fit in. He knows when he has reached his limit (usually) though. Just don’t let anyone touch him when he isn’t expecting it or doesn’t want it. That is the one thing he still hasn’t learned to deal with.

Jolinna

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Sent: Wednesday, December 26, 2007 9:01 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Birthday Party

I agree Jolinna. Although this is easier said than done. Alot of times i tell myself, well he will just have to deal! There doesn't seem to be a perfect consistency with my son's AS. If there weren't any other factors he might just deal but it just takes one odd thing to upset him internally that there is no way he will just deal. When my husband and I are on target and not sidetracked my the other's kids demands we are in tune with which outcome it might be, I hope that made sense. Jonah doesn't really act out all the time in anger, some weeks it seems he just gets really emotional. Easily tears up and seems down. Do all of your children act out violently?There have been times that Jonah gets so angry and the makes this angry monster face and makes fists and i feel i have to hug him right away because he is getting too mad. that doesn't work all the time. I want to protect him from his anger because after he explodes he cries bad. well, that's it for now, i think,thanksmelissa> > In my opinion if it is too much for him and he is going off by himself you should leave him be. It really isn't that big of a deal whether or not he is part of the group. The party was for his brother. I do have a very no-nonsense, hands off approach. It is more important that his brother have a good time and that you maintain your sanity. You let him know when food, etc. is being served but otherwise leave him be. His brother shouldn't have to suffer because he can't handle groups of people but he shouldn't have to suffer either. You might tell him when the activity changes (especially if it changes to a structured activity), but don't force the issue. Just go to the door and let him know what is going on and then leave. If you beg him to come out, you are encouraging the behavior by giving him attention. If you simply let him know what is up, you are respecting his issues without encouraging them to escalate. > > Jolinna> > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.>

[Guest guest]

Too many people doing things that are not part of the average routine can cause these kinds of problems. I would let him go to another room and play quietly with whatever he wanted to do. I wouldn't force him to be part of the party at this young age.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) Birthday Party

We had a birthday party for my 2-year-old on Saturday, and my 4-year-old, who was diagnosed with mild Asperger's in May, didn't handle it very well. I'm not sure why, so I would love any advice you have.We kept the party very simple. The guests were my mother, my mother-in-law, my cousin and his baby, and two of our friends, who brought their children. In all there were 7 kids, ranging in age from 1 to nearly 6 years old. all of the kids are familiar to him, and he has played with them before. Everyone arrived at 11, and we let the kids play for about an hour before serving lunch and cake. During that hour Owen refused to play with any of the other kids, and seemed to regress to behavior he hasn't shown in months. He isolated himself in another room, used babytalk, screamed to get attention, and refused to go to the potty. It was really, really strange, and a little embarassing. I got very frustrated with him and my husband and I had to keep pulling him aside and trying to talk him down. He ended up with more timeouts than I care to recall. The party ended by 2, and the rest of the day he seemed more like himself, but I still can't figure out what we did wrong. How could we have structured this differently? What could we have done to keep the attention on Jake (our youngest) without Owen feeling so left out?

[Guest guest]

I agree, too. At family gatherings, like Christmas and Thanksgiving, winds up in her cousin's room, playing Playstation by herself. She doesn't stay too long at the dinner table, either. She doesn't go to many birthday parties but she seems to be ok at them as long as the birthday person is paying attention to her, too.

Deb

In a message dated 12/30/07 2:20:43 PM Eastern Standard Time, madideas@... writes:

Too many people doing things that are not part of the average routine can cause these kinds of problems. I would let him go to another room and play quietly with whatever he wanted to do. I wouldn't force him to be part of the party at this young age.

Debbie Salerno

Maine Coon Rescue

Board Member

DNA Manager

Eastern Regional Director

Vice President

www.mainecoonrescue.com

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To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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