Re: aggressive speech/behavior

[Guest guest]

Lucky for me, my son only has attention problems when it's something

HE " S NOT INTERESTED IN!! SO I know he can pay attention... something

just needs to be done so that his subjects are more interesting to him

or on his level!!

I'll let everyone know what goes on at the doctor... just cross your

fingers that I can find out what is going on with him. We are having a

not so good day today! Screeching about everything!!

Jackie

On Jul 30, 2007, at 9:33 AM, or Steve wrote:

> Good luck with the appointment.  Let us know what she says.  Another

> thing that brings on BP swings is and ADHD med.  My son still has a

> hard time with depression AND just about zero attention span without

> these meds.  Not fun.  They are trying to treat the depression with

> mood stabilizing drugs.

>

>> Re: ( ) aggressive speech/behavior

>>>>

>>>>

>>>> Kaye,

>>>>

>>>> Sometimes has what the Doctor calls " Unprovoked " mood

>>>> swings...

>>>> which are exactly what you are describing.. these " bad " mood swings

>>>> that come out of no where! No amount of rationalizing to him can

>>>> calm

>>>> him down and he actually then begins to see it as an insult to

>>>> him...

>>>> " why are you always making me be the in trouble " ! He takes Prozac in

>>>> the morning for his anxiety and depression and he started taking

>>>> Respridal at night about 4 months ago for his angriness and for

>>>> impulse

>>>> control. The new doctor which has NOT seen my son yet... she was

>>>> part

>>>> of a research study that I was participating in at the Children's

>>>> Hospital suggested to me that his medicines could quite possibly be

>>>> working against each other and that is why I am still seeing these

>>>> breakthrough mood swings. Granted the medicine has helped A TON,

>>>> but I

>>>> would prefer if these spells did not exist at all. I know the

>>>> Respirdal is working wonders because he didn't take it one night

>>>> last

>>>> week and he was just awful the next day. Such an angry mess... very

>>>> aggressive toward his sisters AND me... He has not been aggressive

>>>> with me since he began the medicine. He has only acted like he was

>>>> going to hit me and he's pushed me a bit, but that's as far as it

>>>> gets

>>>> with me. He shoved his sisters down and then hit one of them with

>>>> the

>>>> broom!!! SCARY!! So as you can imagine I was happy when I got the

>>>> phone call on friday telling me that I had an appointment with this

>>>> new

>>>> doctor. She's a developmental pediatrician who specializes in Autism

>>>> Spectrum Disorder patients. Her waiting list is at least 6 months

>>>> long... but after meeting me and talking about my son during the

>>>> research study she had him put on her urgent list and now we have

>>>> our

>>>> appt on the 6th!

>>>>

>>>> Funny thing though is the Respirdal is the meds that I wanted to

>>>> take

>>>> him off of... but if he truly is Bi polar that is the one they will

>>>> keep him on. I know exactly what you mean about finding the " RIGHT "

>>>> solution to the problem because the " wrong " one will just set him

>>>> over

>>>> the edge! I do think some of his problems are that he has a hard

>>>> time

>>>> regulating his senses and he just gets overloaded and can't figure

>>>> it

>>>> out... that's when he cries and whimpers and stomps around like a 2

>>>> year old!

>>>>

>>>> I hope this appt will set us on the right track and we can get him

>>>> stabilized! Thanks Kaye for your comments and help!

>>>>

>>>> Jackie

>>>> On Jul 29, 2007, at 4:13 PM, Kaye Bates wrote:

>>>>

>>>> > Jackie, that's interesting that your doc mentioned

>>>> > the bipolar mood swings. We just found out this

>>>> > summer that Karissa is a " rapid cycler " on the mood

>>>> > swing thing. So now she takes mood stabilizers and it

>>>> > is a whole lot better. The thing is, the times she

>>>> > gets this way, it is just like a sudden flip

>>>> > (everything is calm, nothing happened to set her

>>>> > off)...It is just a sudden flip for no apparent

>>>> > reason. Since you never saw it coming in the first

>>>> > place, you can do nothing to head it off. When it is

>>>> > one of these true mood flip things, she is like she is

>>>> > on a dirge. Very negative talking. If you try to

>>>> > calm her, she escalates. When she starts this stuff,

>>>> > we pretty much clear out of the room and wait till it

>>>> > passes. It has nothing to do with discipline or OT

>>>> > issues. I truly do think the doc hit it right on the

>>>> > head when he diagnosed her rapid cycling bipolar

>>>> > because once he gave her the meds for that, it has

>>>> > pretty much gone away. She no longer gets violent.

>>>> > She will still say a few bad things (I hate you, I'm

>>>> > running away..I'm going to hurt myself) but it is all

>>>> > talk. She may just cry. It has gotten so much

>>>> > better. Sometimes the hardest thing is just figuring

>>>> > out what in the world it is. The only thing that

>>>> > helps is applying the RIGHT solution to the problem

>>>> > (OT stuff helps an OT issue, discipline helps a

>>>> > discipline issue, MOOD STABILIZERS help rapid

>>>> > cycling!) If you guess wrong on what is causing it

>>>> > the wrong solution does nothing at all except make it

>>>> > all worse. If your doctor is right hopefully your son

>>>> > will improve with the right help!

>>>> >

>>>> > Kaye

>>>> >

>>>> > --- <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>>>> >

>>>> >> Kaye,

>>>> >>

>>>> >> You hit the nail on the head! There's not dealing

>>>> >> with him once he has

>>>> >> gotten to this point. I have to just send him to

>>>> >> his room and leave

>>>> >> him alone. About 50 percent of the time he will

>>>> >> come and say he is

>>>> >> sorry, but he is without remorse or guilt so I'm not

>>>> >> sure what exactly

>>>> >> is going through his mind. I do talk to him about

>>>> >> it and he says he

>>>> >> understands and does not know why he says those

>>>> >> things... but then the

>>>> >> next time we have a " spell " it's the same thing all

>>>> >> over! The doctor

>>>> >> is concerned that these mood swings could be Bi

>>>> >> Polar... we are hoping

>>>> >> to see about that on the 6th of August when we meet

>>>> >> with the

>>>> >> Development Pediatrician. She's the best locally

>>>> >> and is the Autism

>>>> >> Specialist at the Children's hospital!!

>>>> >>

>>>> >> BTW... we use the term " out of his frickin mind "

>>>> >> too!!! LOL Gave my DH

>>>> >> and I a good laugh this morning because it's great

>>>> >> to see that other

>>>> >> people think this stuff too!

>>>> >>

>>>> >> Jackie

>>>> >> On Jul 28, 2007, at 10:55 PM, Kaye Bates wrote:

>>>> >>

>>>> >>> Jackie, does it seem like your kid just suddenly

>>>> >> flips

>>>> >>> when he does that? You just described my kid

>>>> >>> perfectly. It almost seems like she gets in these

>>>> >>> times when she is what we call, out of her frickin

>>>> >>> mind. Truly. She is not rational, you cannot

>>>> >> calm

>>>> >>> her down, you cannot distract her or talk her out

>>>> >> of

>>>> >>> it. You just have to wait for it to pass. Then

>>>> >> later

>>>> >>> on, when she is in her " right mind " she will cry

>>>> >> and

>>>> >>> say she is sorry and she doesn't know why she did

>>>> >> it.

>>>> >>> She knows it is wrong later on, but at the time is

>>>> >> not

>>>> >>> able to see anything wrong with what she is doing

>>>> >> or

>>>> >>> saying and not able to stop herself.

>>>> >>>

>>>> >>> Kaye

>>>> >>>

>>>> >>> --- <hunebear3@...>

>>>> >> wrote:

>>>> >>>

>>>> >>>> HI there,

>>>> >>>>

>>>> >>>> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset

>>>> >> or

>>>> >>>> just plain mad.

>>>> >>>> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his

>>>> >>>> nerves and he's to the

>>>> >>>> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells

>>>> >> me

>>>> >>>> that " One day I " m

>>>> >>>> just going to kill them " ! It's very un-nerving

>>>> >> to

>>>> >>>> hear words like

>>>> >>>> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a

>>>> >>>> meltdown he will also

>>>> >>>> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and

>>>> >> that

>>>> >>>> he wishes he were

>>>> >>>> dead. We are now in the process of having his

>>>> >>>> medication evaluated to

>>>> >>>> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him

>>>> >> once

>>>> >>>> he has calmed down

>>>> >>>> that those are not appropriate words and he tells

>>>> >> me

>>>> >>>> that he knows that

>>>> >>>> and he just said them because he was so mad. We

>>>> >> are

>>>> >>>> also working on

>>>> >>>> learning some self calming techniques but are not

>>>> >>>> having much luck so

>>>> >>>> far!

>>>> >>>>

>>>> >>>> Jackie

>>>> >>>> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:

>>>> >>>>

>>>> >>>>> Hi,

>>>> >>>>> I don't post often (too busy!), but have been

>>>> >>>> having difficulty with

>>>> >>>>> my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for

>>>> >> the

>>>> >>>> summer. The

>>>> >>>>> beginning of the summer was great - he worked in

>>>> >>>> the yard for hours

>>>> >>>>> (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for

>>>> >>>> neighbors. The jobs have

>>>> >>>>> petered out, he's participated somewhat

>>>> >>>> successfully in a morning

>>>> >>>>> camp last week (he can either keep himself

>>>> >> pulled

>>>> >>>> together or he can

>>>> >>>>> have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a

>>>> >>>> group with a friend

>>>> >>>>> for the week - I know he needs friends, but it

>>>> >> is

>>>> >>>> hard to watch him

>>>> >>>>> self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it

>>>> >>>> impresses the

>>>> >>>>> friend.) Almost our whole family participated

>>>> >> in

>>>> >>>> the day camp (I

>>>> >>>>> direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard

>>>> >>>> time pulling

>>>> >>>>> everyone back into our usual routine. My son

>>>> >> has

>>>> >>>> resisted going back

>>>> >>>>> into the routine pretty hard, and last night,

>>>> >>>> refused to set the

>>>> >>>>> table unless I bought him chocolate, which I

>>>> >>>> wasn't going to do (I

>>>> >>>>> never do give in to these unreasonable requests,

>>>> >>>> but he hasn't

>>>> >>>>> learned this, another frustration since

>>>> >> eventually

>>>> >>>> his brother and

>>>> >>>>> sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of

>>>> >>>> setting the table or

>>>> >>>>> spending the rest of the evening in his room (he

>>>> >>>> was back-talking

>>>> >>>>> pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he

>>>> >>>> stomped upstairs,

>>>> >>>>> saying " I forgot something. " I told him to get

>>>> >> it

>>>> >>>> and go back down.

>>>> >>>>> He said, " I forgot the butcher knife! " I told

>>>> >> him

>>>> >>>> that was

>>>> >>>>> inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to

>>>> >>>> his room and stay

>>>> >>>>> there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, " I

>>>> >>>> hate you! I hate

>>>> >>>>> myself! " Later his brother took down a peanut

>>>> >>>> butter sandwich for

>>>> >>>>> his dinner, and he remained in his room.

>>>> >>>>>

>>>> >>>>> This really unnerved me because, a couple of

>>>> >>>> months ago he was upset

>>>> >>>>> with his sister and went and got his pocket

>>>> >> knife

>>>> >>>> and threatened her

>>>> >>>>> with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket

>>>> >>>> knife. I think he did

>>>> >>>>> this last night to get a rise out of me, but he

>>>> >>>> really does know what

>>>> >>>>> buttons to push. We've been working since the

>>>> >>>> earlier situation with

>>>> >>>>> his sister to get him back into therapy (he

>>>> >> moved

>>>> >>>> from therapy to a

>>>> >>>>> social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get

>>>> >>>> our psych clinic to

>>>> >>>>> understand how urgent we feel the situation has

>>>> >>>> become (we have to be

>>>> >>>>> assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).

>>>> >>>>>

>>>> >>>>> I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or

>>>> >>>> your prayers!

>>>> >>>>>

>>>> >>>>> cindy

>>>> >>>>> mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing;

>>>> >>>> daughter 12, typically

>>>> >>>>> developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

>>>> >>>>>

>>>> >>>>>

>>>> >>>>>

>>>> >>>>>

[Guest guest]

I was thinking more of teaching him what to say when he's angry - what typical people would say in that situation. Consider teaching bad habits, lol. But seriously, when you are mad, sometimes just yelling "CRAP!" can satisfy that urge to scream out. So try teaching words that are a bit more colorful but not too bad to use instead of threats to kill oneself. Instead of saying, "I am going to kill you", a typical kid would probably scream, "You're such a jerk!" or "I wish you would go away!" Instead of saying, "I'm so stupid I should die" a typical kid would probably say, "I really screwed that up!"

I know we all want our kids to examine a situation and react well even when stressed, but they are having trouble reacting "normally" let alone reacting better than most people.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) aggressive speech/behaviorHI there,My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or just plain mad. For instance if one of his sisters gets on his nerves and he's to thepoint that he just can't take it anymore he tells me that "One day I"m just going to kill them" ! It's very un-nerving to hear words like this from a 10 year old. When he is having a meltdown he will alsotell me that I hate him and don't love him and that he wishes he were dead. We are now in the process of having his medication evaluated to see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once he has calmed down that those are not appropriate words and he tells me that he knows thatand he just said them because he was so mad. We are also working onlearning some self calming techniques but are not having much luck so far!JackieOn Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:> Hi,> I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with> my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The> beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours> (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have> petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning> camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he can> have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a friend> for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him> self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the> friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I> direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling> everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back> into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the> table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I> never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't> learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and> sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or> spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking> pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs,> saying "I forgot something." I told him to get it and go back down.> He said, "I forgot the butcher knife!" I told him that was> inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay> there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, "I hate you! I hate> myself!" Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for> his dinner, and he remained in his room.>> This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was upset> with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her> with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did> this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know what> buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation with> his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to a> social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to> understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have to be> assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).>> I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!>> cindy> mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically> developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)>>>>

[Guest guest]

Being put on effexor is what made my child go over the edge, so to speak. Instead of the BP coming out when he is older and going thru some kind of stress.....it came out when he took the med. They called it med induced BP. It did not cause the BP but seemed to open the door for it. They said it would not cause BP unless there was something inside him to begin with. My children were adopted at birth ...... we knew nothing of this in the birth family.

Thanks for the compliment but I sure wish I was not so smart. I mean that I do not want to be going thru all of this. I want to be just a clueless happy mom like all the other moms. I know ya'll can understand THAT statement.

Re: ( ) aggressive> speech/behavior> > > Kaye,> > Sometimes has what the Doctor calls> "Unprovoked" mood swings... > which are exactly what you are describing.. these> "bad" mood swings > that come out of no where! No amount of> rationalizing to him can calm > him down and he actually then begins to see it as> an insult to him... > "why are you always making me be the in trouble"!> He takes Prozac in > the morning for his anxiety and depression and he> started taking > Respridal at night about 4 months ago for his> angriness and for impulse > control. The new doctor which has NOT seen my son> yet... she was part > of a research study that I was participating in at> the Children's > Hospital suggested to me that his medicines could> quite possibly be > working against each other and that is why I am> still seeing these > breakthrough mood swings. Granted the medicine has> helped A TON, but I > would prefer if these spells did not exist at all.> I know the > Respirdal is working wonders because he didn't> take it one night last > week and he was just awful the next day. Such an> angry mess... very > aggressive toward his sisters AND me... He has not> been aggressive > with me since he began the medicine. He has only> acted like he was > going to hit me and he's pushed me a bit, but> that's as far as it gets > with me. He shoved his sisters down and then hit> one of them with the > broom!!! SCARY!! So as you can imagine I was happy> when I got the > phone call on friday telling me that I had an> appointment with this new > doctor. She's a developmental pediatrician who> specializes in Autism > Spectrum Disorder patients. Her waiting list is at> least 6 months > long... but after meeting me and talking about my> son during the > research study she had him put on her urgent list> and now we have our > appt on the 6th!> > Funny thing though is the Respirdal is the meds> that I wanted to take > him off of... but if he truly is Bi polar that is> the one they will > keep him on. I know exactly what you mean about> finding the "RIGHT" > solution to the problem because the "wrong" one> will just set him over > the edge! I do think some of his problems are that> he has a hard time > regulating his senses and he just gets overloaded> and can't figure it > out... that's when he cries and whimpers and> stomps around like a 2 > year old!> > I hope this appt will set us on the right track> and we can get him > stabilized! Thanks Kaye for your comments and> help!> > Jackie> On Jul 29, 2007, at 4:13 PM, Kaye Bates wrote:> > > Jackie, that's interesting that your doc> mentioned> > the bipolar mood swings. We just found out this> > summer that Karissa is a "rapid cycler" on the> mood> > swing thing. So now she takes mood stabilizers> and it> > is a whole lot better. The thing is, the times> she> > gets this way, it is just like a sudden flip> > (everything is calm, nothing happened to set her> > off)...It is just a sudden flip for no apparent> > reason. Since you never saw it coming in the> first> > place, you can do nothing to head it off. When> it is> > one of these true mood flip things, she is like> she is> > on a dirge. Very negative talking. If you try to> > calm her, she escalates. When she starts this> stuff,> > we pretty much clear out of the room and wait> till it> > passes. It has nothing to do with discipline or> OT> > issues. I truly do think the doc hit it right on> the> > head when he diagnosed her rapid cycling bipolar> > because once he gave her the meds for that, it> has> > pretty much gone away. She no longer gets> violent.> > She will still say a few bad things (I hate you,> I'm> > running away..I'm going to hurt myself) but it> is all> > talk. She may just cry. It has gotten so much> > better. Sometimes the hardest thing is just> figuring> > out what in the world it is. The only thing that> > helps is applying the RIGHT solution to the> problem> > (OT stuff helps an OT issue, discipline helps a> > discipline issue, MOOD STABILIZERS help rapid> > cycling!) If you guess wrong on what is causing> it> > the wrong solution does nothing at all except> make it> > all worse. If your doctor is right hopefully> your son> > will improve with the right help!> >> > Kaye> >> > --- <hunebear3comcast (DOT) net>> wrote:> >> >> Kaye,> >>> >> You hit the nail on the head! There's not> dealing> >> with him once he has> >> gotten to this point. I have to just send him> to> >> his room and leave> >> him alone. About 50 percent of the time he will> >> come and say he is> >> sorry, but he is without remorse or guilt so> I'm not> >> sure what exactly> >> is going through his mind. I do talk to him> about> >> it and he says he> >> understands and does not know why he says those> >> things... but then the> >> next time we have a "spell" it's the same thing> all> >> over! The doctor> >> is concerned that these mood swings could be Bi> >> Polar... we are hoping> >> to see about that on the 6th of August when we> meet> >> with the> >> Development Pediatrician. She's the best> locally> >> and is the Autism> >> Specialist at the Children's hospital!!> >>> >> BTW... we use the term "out of his frickin> mind"> >> too!!! LOL Gave my DH> >> and I a good laugh this morning because it's> great> >> to see that other> >> people think this stuff too!> >>> >> Jackie> >> On Jul 28, 2007, at 10:55 PM, Kaye Bates wrote:> >>> >>> Jackie, does it seem like your kid just> suddenly> >> flips> >>> when he does that? You just described my kid> >>> perfectly. It almost seems like she gets in> these> >>> times when she is what we call, out of her> frickin> === message truncated ===__________________________________________________________Choose the right car based on your needs. Check out Autos new Car Finder tool.http://autos./carfinder/

[Guest guest]

Roxanna,

This makes complete sense! I do know that he goes into his room

sometimes and uses the curse words that he hears... nothing to terribly

bad but bad enough!! LOL I try to give him alternate words to use, but

I think he likes the " shock value " ! Does that make sense?? I used to

try to reason with him and say things like You know you aren't bad, you

don't really mean those things, or the big one OF COURSE I LOVE YOU!!

Now even though it kills me to hear some of the things he says... I

just walk away... until he is COMPLETELY calm. Just this morning I SAW

him with my own eyes hit his sister... so I told him to go calm down...

then it all let loose... She hit me first, I didn't do anything, it's

all because she's greedy, she's laughing at me... none of these true!

It took him about 30 mins to completely calm down. I'm just not sure

if this was a plain ole temper tantrum or another mood swing!! It's so

hard to tell sometimes. He got upset to start with because his sister

wanted her rock back... so he hit her, then denied it! Then it just

esculated from there! With him becoming upset about everything... even

eating... which he LOVES!!!!!

I do know that when he has a temper tantrum... he FAKE cries and stomps

around mouthing to himself. When he is having a " bad day " he really

cries and denies everything!! So maybe I just answered my own

question????

Jackie

On Jul 30, 2007, at 11:41 AM, Roxanna wrote:

> I was thinking more of teaching him what to say when he's angry - what

> typical people would say in that situation.  Consider teaching bad

> habits, lol.  But seriously, when you are mad, sometimes just yelling

> " CRAP! " can satisfy that urge to scream out.  So try teaching words

> that are a bit more colorful but not too bad to use instead of threats

> to kill oneself.  Instead of saying, " I am going to kill you " , a

> typical kid would probably scream, " You're such a jerk! "   or " I wish

> you would go away! "   Instead of saying, " I'm so stupid I should die " a

> typical kid would probably say, " I really screwed that up! "  

>  

> I know we all want our kids to examine a situation and react well even

> when stressed, but they are having trouble reacting " normally " let

> alone reacting better than most people. 

>  

> Roxanna

> Autism Happens

>> Re: ( ) aggressive speech/behavior

>>>>

>>>>

>>>> HI there,

>>>>

>>>> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or just plain mad.

>>>> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his nerves and he's to

>>>> the

>>>> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells me that " One day

>>>> I " m

>>>> just going to kill them " ! It's very un-nerving to hear words like

>>>> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a meltdown he will also

>>>> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that he wishes he

>>>> were

>>>> dead. We are now in the process of having his medication evaluated

>>>> to

>>>> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once he has calmed

>>>> down

>>>> that those are not appropriate words and he tells me that he knows

>>>> that

>>>> and he just said them because he was so mad. We are also working on

>>>> learning some self calming techniques but are not having much luck

>>>> so

>>>> far!

>>>>

>>>> Jackie

>>>> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:

>>>>

>>>> > Hi,

>>>> > I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty

>>>> with

>>>> > my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The

>>>> > beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for

>>>> hours

>>>> > (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs

>>>> have

>>>> > petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning

>>>> > camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he

>>>> can

>>>> > have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a friend

>>>> > for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch

>>>> him

>>>> > self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the

>>>> > friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I

>>>> > direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling

>>>> > everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going

>>>> back

>>>> > into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the

>>>> > table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I

>>>> > never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't

>>>> > learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and

>>>> > sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or

>>>> > spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking

>>>> > pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs,

>>>> > saying " I forgot something. " I told him to get it and go back

>>>> down.

>>>> > He said, " I forgot the butcher knife! " I told him that was

>>>> > inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay

>>>> > there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, " I hate you! I hate

>>>> > myself! " Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for

>>>> > his dinner, and he remained in his room.

>>>> >

>>>> > This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was

>>>> upset

>>>> > with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened

>>>> her

>>>> > with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did

>>>> > this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know

>>>> what

>>>> > buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation

>>>> with

>>>> > his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to

>>>> a

>>>> > social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic

>>>> to

>>>> > understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have

>>>> to be

>>>> > assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).

>>>> >

>>>> > I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!

>>>> >

>>>> > cindy

>>>> > mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically

>>>> > developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

>>>> >

>>>> >

>>>> >

>>>> >

[Guest guest]

Thank you to everyone that has responded to my original post - it is

sooo helpful to know that other people's spectrum kids do this, too!

My husband is sure ours is the only one.

The day after the event I wrote about, my son came into the kitchen

and said, " Mom, you know I wasn't going to HURT you, didn't you? " to

which I replied, " I didn't think you really wanted to hurt me, but I

didn't know for sure. I suspect you were trying to say how very

angry you were. " He said, " Yes! " and I said, " You need to find

different words for when you're that angry. " My husband said that he

hadn't spoken to him about the situation at all, so I think this was

my son's way of trying to spontaneously apologize - BUT, we still

need to find ways of using other words. So far, practicing other

angry words has not been helpful . . .

cindy

>

> >

> > , I know exactly what you are going thru. Our son (14)

makes

> > these kinds of threats. You sound so calm. I'm not calm. It

> > ticks me off! We have had to put locks on that we should not

have

> > had to. I now lock my bedroom when I leave the house b/c I

don't

> > want him in their. There have been times that we have locked up

> > the knives in the pantry. I don't understand why they make

these

> > threats? We, like you, have consequences for when he does this

but

> > it never seems to change. He is in both individual and group

> > therapy. The asperger me,me,me is driving ME nuts.

> > Sorry I did not make you feel better. I'm with ya on the side

of

> > the road. At least we are not alone.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Exactly what is a weighted lap pad? I've heard of kids wanting a weighted blanket for sleeping but I haven't heard about a lap pad. <hunebear3@...> wrote: We have tried breathing techniques and a weighted lap pad... problem is he doesn't get that he needs to do these things BEFORE he explodes! I'm working on it but it's a slow process. Yoga was just suggested to us at our first OT appt on Friday. is a sensory seeker and he enjoys deep pressure and having his joints, muscles stretched... so we are on the lookout for a Yoga DVD that he can work on!Great ideas!JackieOn Jul 29, 2007, at 7:09 AM, Dee DiMemmo wrote:> Have you tried kid yoga? Or breathing techniques? What about a > weighted vest or blanket? Pressure point massage?>>

wrote:HI there,>>>> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or just plain mad.>> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his nerves and he's to the>> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells me that "One day I"m>> just going to kill them" ! It's very un-nerving to hear words like>> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a meltdown he will also>> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that he wishes he were>> dead. We are now in the process of having his medication evaluated to>> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once he has calmed down>> that those are not appropriate words and he tells me that he knows >> that>> and he just said them because he was so mad. We are also working on>> learning some self calming techniques but are not having much luck so>>

far!>>>> Jackie>> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:>>>> > Hi,>> > I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with>> > my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The>> > beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours>> > (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have>> > petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning>> > camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he can>> > have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a friend>> > for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him>> > self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the>> > friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I>> > direct

it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling>> > everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back>> > into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the>> > table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I>> > never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't>> > learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and>> > sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or>> > spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking>> > pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs,>> > saying "I forgot something." I told him to get it and go back down.>> > He said, "I forgot the butcher knife!" I told him that was>> > inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay>> > there.

He stomped down the stairs shouting, "I hate you! I hate>> > myself!" Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for>> > his dinner, and he remained in his room.>> >>> > This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was upset>> > with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her>> > with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did>> > this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know >> what>> > buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation with>> > his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to a>> > social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to>> > understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have to >> be>> > assigned a new psych, since ours has moved

on).>> >>> > I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!>> >>> > cindy>> > mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically>> > developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)>> >>> >>> >>> >

[Guest guest]

Hi My son had one of these last year for school. It is basically a small weighted blanket that sits on their lap. The pressure from the pad calms them down and makes it easier to focus. It did help my son last year. Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Exactly what is a weighted lap pad? I've heard of kids wanting a weighted blanket for sleeping but I haven't heard about a lap pad. <hunebear3comcast (DOT) net> wrote: We have tried breathing techniques and a weighted lap pad... problem is he doesn't get that he needs to do these things BEFORE he explodes! I'm working on it but it's a slow process. Yoga was just suggested to us at our first OT appt on Friday. is a sensory seeker and he enjoys deep pressure and having his joints, muscles stretched... so we are on the lookout for a Yoga DVD that he can work on!Great ideas!JackieOn Jul 29, 2007, at 7:09 AM, Dee DiMemmo wrote:> Have you tried kid yoga? Or breathing techniques? What about a > weighted vest or blanket? Pressure point massage?>> wrote:HI there,>>>> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or just plain mad.>> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his nerves and he's to the>> point that he just can't take it anymore he

tells me that "One day I"m>> just going to kill them" ! It's very un-nerving to hear words like>> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a meltdown he will also>> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that he wishes he were>> dead. We are now in the process of having his medication evaluated to>> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once he has calmed down>> that those are not appropriate words and he tells me that he knows >> that>> and he just said them because he was so mad. We are also working on>> learning some self calming techniques but are not having much luck so>> far!>>>> Jackie>> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:>>>> > Hi,>> > I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with>> > my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the

summer. The>> > beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours>> > (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have>> > petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning>> > camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he can>> > have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a friend>> > for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him>> > self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the>> > friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I>> > direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling>> > everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back>> > into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the>> > table unless I bought him chocolate,

which I wasn't going to do (I>> > never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't>> > learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and>> > sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or>> > spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking>> > pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs,>> > saying "I forgot something." I told him to get it and go back down.>> > He said, "I forgot the butcher knife!" I told him that was>> > inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay>> > there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, "I hate you! I hate>> > myself!" Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for>> > his dinner, and he remained in his room.>> >>> > This really unnerved me because, a couple of

months ago he was upset>> > with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her>> > with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did>> > this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know >> what>> > buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation with>> > his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to a>> > social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to>> > understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have to >> be>> > assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).>> >>> > I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!>> >>> > cindy>> > mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically>> > developing; son, 10,

PDD-NOS)>> >>> >>> >>> >

[Guest guest]

My son also sleeps with his on his back at night if he is having

trouble falling asleep.

Jackie

On Aug 4, 2007, at 7:35 PM, wrote:

> Hi

>   My son had one of these last year for school. It is basically a

> small weighted blanket that sits on their lap. The pressure from the

> pad calms them down and makes it easier to focus. It did help my son

> last year.

>

> Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:Exactly what is a

> weighted lap pad? I've heard of kids wanting a weighted blanket for

> sleeping but I haven't heard about a lap pad.

>>

>> <hunebear3@...> wrote:We have tried

>> breathing techniques and a weighted lap pad... problem is

>>> he doesn't get that he needs to do these things BEFORE he explodes!

>>> I'm working on it but it's a slow process. Yoga was just suggested to

>>> us at our first OT appt on Friday. is a sensory seeker and he

>>> enjoys deep pressure and having his joints, muscles stretched... so

>>> we

>>> are on the lookout for a Yoga DVD that he can work on!

>>>

>>> Great ideas!

>>>

>>> Jackie

>>> On Jul 29, 2007, at 7:09 AM, Dee DiMemmo wrote:

>>>

>>> > Have you tried kid yoga? Or breathing techniques? What about a

>>> > weighted vest or blanket? Pressure point massage?

>>> >

>>> > wrote:HI there,

>>> >>

>>> >> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or just plain

>>> mad.

>>> >> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his nerves and he's to

>>> the

>>> >> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells me that " One

>>> day I " m

>>> >> just going to kill them " ! It's very un-nerving to hear words like

>>> >> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a meltdown he will also

>>> >> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that he wishes he

>>> were

>>> >> dead. We are now in the process of having his medication

>>> evaluated to

>>> >> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once he has calmed

>>> down

>>> >> that those are not appropriate words and he tells me that he knows

>>> >> that

>>> >> and he just said them because he was so mad. We are also working

>>> on

>>> >> learning some self calming techniques but are not having much

>>> luck so

>>> >> far!

>>> >>

>>> >> Jackie

>>> >> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:

>>> >>

>>> >> > Hi,

>>> >> > I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty

>>> with

>>> >> > my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The

>>> >> > beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for

>>> hours

>>> >> > (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs

>>> have

>>> >> > petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a

>>> morning

>>> >> > camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or

>>> he can

>>> >> > have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a

>>> friend

>>> >> > for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch

>>> him

>>> >> > self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the

>>> >> > friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I

>>> >> > direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling

>>> >> > everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going

>>> back

>>> >> > into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the

>>> >> > table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do

>>> (I

>>> >> > never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't

>>> >> > learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother

>>> and

>>> >> > sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table

>>> or

>>> >> > spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was

>>> back-talking

>>> >> > pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs,

>>> >> > saying " I forgot something. " I told him to get it and go back

>>> down.

>>> >> > He said, " I forgot the butcher knife! " I told him that was

>>> >> > inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and

>>> stay

>>> >> > there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, " I hate you! I hate

>>> >> > myself! " Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich

>>> for

>>> >> > his dinner, and he remained in his room.

>>> >> >

>>> >> > This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was

>>> upset

>>> >> > with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and

>>> threatened her

>>> >> > with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he

>>> did

>>> >> > this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know

>>> >> what

>>> >> > buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation

>>> with

>>> >> > his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy

>>> to a

>>> >> > social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych

>>> clinic to

>>> >> > understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have

>>> to

>>> >> be

>>> >> > assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).

>>> >> >

>>> >> > I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!

>>> >> >

>>> >> > cindy

>>> >> > mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12,

>>> typically

>>> >> > developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

>>> >> >

>>> >> >

>>> >> >

>>> >> >